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“Chill out,” Alex said to Tom, as he allowed himself to be pulled away by Kyra. He’s pretty thankful and grateful to be home, so is unbothered by Tom’s comments or reaction to him and Kyra.
There had been a real chance that he might’ve died today. Not just a small chance. But a very real chance. It was much closer to death than he’d been before. At least in the sense of feeling the death encroaching. Being threatened with death or beaten up had never made him feel as close to death as the nanoparticles had.
Alex adjusted his grip on Kyra’s hand, threading his fingers between hers, and giving it a little squeeze. She doesn’t look at him, but he feels her squeeze it back. He’s pretty sure he loves her. Even though they’ve only just started on whatever this part of their relationship is.
There are a couple of bathrooms in his Uncle’s house, but Kyra has pulled him into the one closest to his bedroom, the one he always uses, given its proximity to his room.
Alex closed the door behind them, and watched, with his hand still holding Kyra’s as she drew together a bath. She really hadn’t been kidding. They were going to clean him up.
As the warm water runs and the scent of some bath soap fills the room, Kyra turns to him. Alex couldn’t help the little smile which graced his features, he reached for her cheek as she had done with his downstairs, and leans in, tentatively at first, and kisses her.
Her lips are soft and warm. She tastes of orange juice and lip balm. His fingers hold her cheek, and he draws her more in, deepening the kiss. Kyra reacts in kind, and Alex leans in while she pushes them back. His back hits the door, and the moment is broken with a pain filled hiss.
Alex pulls away, but his lips remain inches from hers. His gaze flicks down to her lips and back to her eyes.
She’s beautiful.
He loves her.
“I’m fine Kyra, just some bruises,” he assures, seeing her worry. Feeling the worry cloud this moment.
Alex knows that the next couple of months will be rough, that following all they’ve seen, he’s seen, that the nightmares will be back. That the PTSD raise its head and worsen. But for now he just wants to be okay, and just exist with her.
“No more kissing until you’re cleaned and bandaged up,” Kyra says, though she presses one last quick kiss to his lips before turning away.
Alex lets go of her hand and begins to undress. It’s a struggle. He isn’t that injured…well, he hadn’t thought he was, but he can’t get the t-shirt off.
“Kyra? Some help?” he asked.
There’s a moment where she’s just processing what he’s said, before she puts the toilet seat down and guides him to sit. She helps him get the t-shirt off, and exposes his bare and horrendously bruised chest and back to the steamed up room.
“Oh, Alex,” She said. Her hands hover over the bruising, fingers brush the skin lightly, but she doesn’t touch more than that. It feels pretty terrible, and Alex can now only imagine that it looks worse.
He knows there are several layers of it. From all the fights he’s been in, in the last few days. It hurts, but he’s always been good at pushing aside his pain, especially when there were other things to deal with.
“It’s okay, nothing serious,” Alex assures her, his hand moving to her face to get her to look at him and not the bruises. They look bad, but he knows they won’t kill him.
“So, not dying?” Kyra jokes weakly, and Alex gives her the most reassuring nod and smile that he can muster.
“Not dying.” he confirms.
She helps him take off his shoes, socks, and trousers till he’s left in his underwear. They both stare at each other for a moment. They’ve not even officially labelled what they are. They’ve only just kissed. He’s not sure if he should get naked in front of her. If she would even want to see that just yet.
“If you turn around, I can take them off and then get in the bath?” he offered her. Both of their cheeks are flushed red, and he can see Kyra biting her lip.
“You don’t need to see anything,” Alex added, reassuring her. Waiting for an answer, not wanting to do anything now without really her explicit agreement.
He knows they both have an odd relationship with consent. It had been unnecessary when they had kissed, but both of them, as part of Point Blanc, had been stripped and had pictures taken without their consent while drugged. He wouldn’t want to do anything at this moment that Kyra isn’t comfortable with, and depending on her answer, he can decide what he is comfortable with.
“No, it’s okay,” Kyra decides, she leans back, sitting on her heels. Putting a little distance between them, and giving herself the space to turn around if she decided that it was too much.
Alex stood up and took off the boxers and then got into the bathtub, with Kyra vaguely watching him the whole time. Her cheeks are distinctly more pink after he’s submerged in the water, but he holds her gaze and puts his hand out on the bathtub’s side.
Kyra doesn’t hesitate as she takes it and kisses the soapy fingers, letting out a little embarrassed giggle at all of this. Alex laughs with her.
It feels nice. Both the warmth of the water and the warmth of the moment. Alex is once again taken over by the knowledge that he loves her. It is probably too soon for him to say it, but he’s sure of it. His feelings for Kyra are unlike the fleeting ones he’d had for Sabina or any other girls.
More than anything, Kyra gets him. Has always understood him, trusted him, believed him. Believed in him. In a way that no one else can or would. They’ve only just started this, are feeling each other out, but nothing has felt more right in his world than this.
He loves her.
The bath is nice.
Alex had never really been a bath guy. He’d always taken showers, they were quicker, more efficient, but he could admit, the warmth of the water was helping ease his pain, helping ease his muscles, and allowing him to just relax.
His gaze remained on Kyra, as she grabbed a cloth and dipped it in the water.
“I can do all that,” he assured her.
“Shut up, I’m taking care of you,” she throws back at him quickly.
They smile at each other, before she gently begins to wash the blood off his face. He keeps his eyes closed as she does it, and ignores the slight stinging that the soapy water brings to his cuts.
“Why did you go, when you knew about the…,” she’s just about finished with his face as she speaks.
Without even being asked, he can feel that she’s beginning to wash his hair. Using a little cup to pour the water over his hair.
Alex didn’t open his eyes, just gave a little shrug, the water moving around him.
“It was the only way to find out which city it would be,” Alex replied. “I had to,”
Kyra huffs in a manner that Alex is all too familiar with. He knows the meaning behind the huff. He doesn’t mind it this time, because for once he can agree, he got too close. This had been too close.
“It’s all over now,” Alex, with his eyes closed, tries to reach for her hand, to reassure her.
“Yes, for now.” Kyra agreed, but he knows in her tone that she’s got something further to say on it. A feeling that lingers behind it.
“Until the next thing happens. You just… I can’t lose you, Alex.” Kyra’s voice shakes as she speaks and Alex opens his eyes, there’s shampoo in her hands, and she’s moving to rub it into his hair, but he can see the tears in her eyes.
“Kyra…,” he tries.
“No, just, shut up,” Kyra replied, and kept at her task. Alex lets her, watching her as much as he can as she massages the shampoo into his hair with delicateness.
He can see how upset she is, but lets her work. Only when she pulls away, intending to clean her hands, does he sit up a little, groaning in pain at the sudden movement. Water splashing a little everywhere.
“Alex,” She admonishes, but Alex doesn’t stop; he moves till he’s sitting up, and reaches for her, bringing her into a hug. It is made somewhat made awkward by the shampoo in his hair, and the fact he’s wet, naked and still in the bath but he can see she needs it.
Immediately, as he brought her in to him, he felt her shoulders begin to shake as she started crying. It’s silent tears, bar the occasional exceedingly soft sob.
Alex held her tight, his hand rubbing her back in a soothing pattern, and muttering soft reassurances that he was there, that he was fine.
Alex has no idea how long they sit like that, the water is still warm enough, though not as warm as it had been when he first got in. They haven’t been disturbed, Jack is likely doing a good job keeping Tom away. But Kyra’s tears slow, and he lets her decide when she wants to pull out of the hug. He holds her gaze and gives her a smile.
He’s reminded of how beautiful she is to him. How much she means to him. How much her companionship means to him. How much her friendship, means to him. How he loves her.
He loves her.
“Sorry,” she said, and Alex just draws her in for a kiss to dismiss the word.
When he pulls away, he sees her going to say it again, so he kisses her again. This time, as he pulls away, he sees the barest hint of a smile.
“I said no more kisses,” she teased.
Kyra pushes him back down and finishes washing his hair.
Alex knew that others might stay in the bath for longer, but he wants to hold her properly. It’s probably still only mid to late afternoon, but it’s been an overwhelming day, but he wants to lay with her, hold her and maybe have a little nap.
They make quick work of drying him off, putting clothes on and bandaging him up. His chest is wrapped in bandages, his face cleaned, and bruise paste applied on his neck.
“We should go back to Jack and Tom,” Kyra suggests once they’ve finished.
“I’m tired,” Alex replies. He takes her hand and this time is the one to lead them to his bedroom, and on to his bed. He lays down and pulls her into him. She curls into him, her head leaning on his chest, their legs intertwine and his arms wrap around her.
Alex can feel her breath against his chest, he can feel the rise and fall of her chest, and is sure he can feel her heart beating away, not just his. He’s sure he can feel her drifting off, as he does, too.
“I love you, Kyra,” Alex says. “You don’t have to say it back, I just…after everything today, I just… I needed to say it. In case…,”
Alex knows it’s probably too soon, that someone could easily tell him he’s mistaking the sort of friendship love that they have with romantic love, but he knows he loves her. In every way that matters. He’s never believed in soulmates, not until her.
“I love you too, spy boy,” she mutters into his chest.
The next few months, Alex knows, will not be easy. Readjusting to a non-spy life is hard, but at least this time he will have Kyra at his side, and he knows it’ll make things just a little bit easier.
He loves her.