Work Text:
It's midnight now.
Radmilo heard someone crying.
There was no one in this house except he and Ljiljana.
Ljiljana......
He is going to send Ljiljana back to Belgrade tomorrow, actually he is not so sure this is the right thing to do. Now he finds himself unable to fall asleep.
Ljiljana is crying.
Ljiljana......
Radmilo gets up and stops in front of Ljiljana's door.
Somehow he remained silent for some seconds. And then he knocked on the door.
"Ljiljana, may I come in?"
The sound of crying gradually subsided into silence. There was no answer.
He stood there, waited, with patience. It is so long he waited that he assumed Ljiljana may sleep now.
So he knocked again, with his voice low, "Ljiljana, may I come in?"
"No! Go away!" Ljiljana shouted in the room.
There was a moment Radmilo was hesitant, but in the end he opened the door, without his wife's permission.
He walked in and stopped in front of Ljiljana's bed. He wanted to talk to her so badly, but now he couldn't find a word to start the conversation.
Ljiljana stared at him, "Why don't you leave me alone!"
Radmilo knelt down by her bedside, bent low and tried to hold her hands, but she pulled away.
"Ljiljana, don't cry."
Ljiljana tried her best to hold her tears, and her voice was cold like ice, "Of course I won't cry for you. When a woman loves a man, she gives him the right to hurt her. I won't cry for any man from now on. I'll go back to Belgrade, find a job and marry no man. If my parents don't want me, I'll leave my family and live alone to start my own career.¹"
There was a long silence between them.
Finally Radmilo said:"Ljiljana, I don't want to hurt you."
Suddenly Ljiljana laughed, and mocked him:"No, I see this is exactly what you want. You win, now. But I am not a woman without dignity, you don't trust me because you don't know me. I will not beg for your forgiveness for things I never did, and I have no need to take the responsibility nor to suffer for consequences."
Radmilo looked into her eyes, speaking very sincerely, "Then give me a chance to know you, Ljiljana, please."
"So this is my fault now? Because you don't even know me? Maybe it's my fortune to have such a cold and suspicious husband with a marvellous imagination!"
"Please, Ljiljana, it's not my imagination, someone told me......"
He stopped.
Ljiljana asked:"Someone told you what?"
Radmilo took a deep breath, and said this very carefully, "Jelka told me to keep eyes on you and our neighbor."
"And you believe her lies over your wife?" Ljiljana said ironically. "Honestly, don't you understand she was taking her revenge because I asked her to leave our house? I have higher expectations for lawyers, I thought they could be smart enough to discern a lie from the truth, but maybe I was wrong after all."
Radmilo falls into silence.
Ljiljana was right. How foolish he was to believe Jelka and dishonor his wife.
"I'm sorry, Ljiljana, I was a fool. There was a call to my office saying you and Ika......were seeing each other. Now I can confirm this must be another lie. Stay, Ljiljana, we can together find the truth, and find out who's behind the curtain."
Ljiljana laughed bitterly, "How lucky I am, I just came here for two months, and now I have anonymous enemies. No, Radmilo, I leave tomorrow, I can't stand this anymore."
"Aren't you interested in who set a trap for us? I don't believe you're ready to leave Julie and our aunt. They love you and they will miss you so much."
Ljiljana vacillated.
"I love you, Ljiljana. I love you now as much as I love then. I know you love me, right? You can't be so cold to leave me behind."
Suddenly Ljiljana's tears fall. She didn't cry, it's just her tears falling.
"No, you don't love me, you hate me!"
She cried, a sob catching in her throat. Part of her wanted to believe him, but the pain was too raw, and the distrust was too fresh.
In a swift movement, Radmilo pulled Ljiljana into his arms, his embrace fierce yet comforting. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed away her tears.
"I'm sorry, Ljiljana. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was consumed by jealousy and insecurity when I heard the rumors. I was so desperate you don't love me, and I was also afraid someone would take you away from me. I know how much my accusations must have hurt you, and I deeply regret for your pain. I am so sorry, Ljiljana, you deserve so much better than that. Please, give me a chance, I will do anything you want and be a good husband for you. You will never feel anything but love from me again. I promise."
Ljiljana didn't answer his request.
"I am tired. I want to sleep now."
"Ljiljana, I hope this isn't too much to ask," Radmilo reached for her hands and kissed them gently, his voice was trembling, "but could I stay tonight? Please. There's so much we need to talk about, and I don't want to rush things."
Ljiljana looked at him, she smiled, "Yes, you could."
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¹ The book Samac u braku mentioned many times Ljiljana wants to be a clerk, so I assume she's prefer to having a job than staying at home the whole day to be a housewife.