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In the middle of the night, Theo Sharpe’s heart has experienced the most riveting and excruciating pain all because of the lady that entered his life unexpectedly. Moments ago, he did something out of the ordinary. Finally mustering all courage in the hopes of developing his friendship with the intoxicating and charming, Eloise Bridgerton by leaning in for a kiss.
A kiss that he daydreamed for days now. This was a way for him to finally express how important she was to his life. For a long time, he never had a chance to have romance in his poor life. He worked from day to night in order to survive. As an orphan, it was a miracle for him to be able to become a printer's apprentice. It took him months of begging and applying in order to be the current state that he is right now. By meeting Eloise Bridgerton, thoughts of love and romance filled his mind just like the books that he read once as a child. He read how a simple act like a kiss can be a gateway in order to reach your true feelings to the one that you desire. As of the moment, Theo Sharpe desires Eloise Bridgerton.
However, he failed. The kiss did not occur. In fact, Theo interpreted her words that their pseudo - relationship is absurd.
For the first time in Theo’s life, he felt his heart ache. Heartstrings began to loose and break the moment he understood that she rejected his advances.
So here he stands in front of the lady who seems to be doing her best not to cry in front of him. To be quite honest, he was doing the same however he knew that sooner or later, he will definitely shed tears due to sadness.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you find your writer.” He tells to her.
Theo did his best to avoid looking at her face because he knew that if he saw her crying, it would haunt his dreams for making her cry like that. However, he knew that for her to be safe from the scandals and ruin, he must exit her life and never be seen again.
Eloise did not gave a reply. He saw her bit her lower lip to avoid her emotions crying. So he bid his farewell, “Best of luck”.
Finally, he gave her the letters and walked far away from her towards the back room where he resides to rest. He heard her call out his name and another part of his heart broke as he knew well that she was on the verge of crying. As the door opens and shuts, Theo left Eloise Bridgerton in the main shop as he gave her the time to leave him finally and to close their short chapter in their lives.
Standing by the edge of the back room where he sleeps in without a candle light and the woman in front of him moments ago, He let the darkness of the room, fill his heart and mind.
Finally, Theo Sharpe wept.
The tears on his eyes finally flooded knowing that this room is his safe haven. In this room, no one can see that the strong minded printer boy who fights for a just cause cry helplessly. In here, he can be just him. He did his best to cry silently without any noise except his breath heaving because of all the emotions and thoughts on his mind.
He wanted to curse Lady Whistledown for bringing the Lady into his life. A part of him wanted to curse himself for falling in love with a Lady from the ton and expected that she would be satisfied to be with him. However, the most frustrating thought came in to his mind when he wanted to curse himself for being so powerless to fight for the lady he fell in love with. If he was part of her society, he would have been able to court her and be with her with no prying eyes and scandals looming into the horizon. He would be able to protect her and her family from any objections like his current situation.
However, he could not. He is still the poor man from Bloomsbury.
His fate is just like any person outside of Mayfair. Doomed to work till their dying moments just so they could eat and live normally like the rest.
Theo kept crying as he grow weak. His knees finally buckled and gave up. To avoid being heard, Theo uses his palm to cover his mouth as he cried non stop. He knew that Eloise Bridgerton is still standing outside as he had not heard a door close. He knew that if she hears him crying, it would be much more difficult for her to leave. He would hate himself even more if she knew how this affected him. It was torture to think that he was there wallowing in secret while the woman she loves doesn't know the extent of his pain.
In their society, men do not cry but as a human, they definitely do. It is a matter of who sees them cry which is why right now, Theo Sharpe cries alone in the dark where no one can see him pour his heart out in agony.
The image of Eloise crying flashed on his mind. It sent shockwaves of sadness once more because it was because of him. Finally hearing the click of the door close outside, he immediately wiped away his tears and stood up. He did his best to stop from crying as he opens the door of the room and walked outside.
As expected, she was gone.
Theo Sharpe was finally alone. The love of of his life had become the greatest loss of his life.
The room felt empty even if morsels of paper and ink are around just like always. Her presence that he craves to be with is gone. Realizing the thought that she might just be outside walking towards her carriage, Theo could not help but walk towards the window to look once more at the lady who captured his heart and mind.
As expected, he was able to see her back walking ever so slowly towards the carriage. A thought entered his mind wherein what if Eloise is feeling the same? What if she was in the same predicament as him? What if she fell for him but in order to protect him and her family, she selfishly relinquished the thought of them together?
What if their actions are a mistake? What if instead of them giving up one another in order to find happiness, they must fight for it together?
It was unlike him to do this as he always goes for the most logical ways to decide something. However, right now, Theo Sharpe wanted to find a sign. A sign that will show that a certain part of Eloise Bridgerton feels the same way as him. Finally thinking of a way to know for certain if he does, he prays on it.
“Please look back” he whispers as he creeps by the window, watching her back as she walks slowly towards the carriage.
In his mind, he has decided that if she does look back, he will leave the print shop and run towards her to fight for them. If a certain part of the lady wants to be with him, he would surely hold on to that and fight the ways of the Ton.
All in the name of love…
However, each step from the lady the thought and daydream of his crumbles ever so slowly.
“Please look back” He begs once more; almost like a prayer, “Just one look, Eloise”.
The moment he sees her in front of the carriage, he finally felt defeated as she never did looked back. There was no sign for him. It was stupid for him to think that Eloise Bridgerton would look back for him. He should never played with fate as it was his number one enemy in this world. He had a fate of a pauper meanwhile she had a fate of a lady. They were two comets destined to cross only once in their life time and never to be together once they cross paths.
To save himself from further embarrassment, Theo Sharpe finally stopped looking at the lady and finally went back to his room. He knew that it will be a long while before he would be fine again. It would take years for him to move on. It was stupid for him to even think that Eloise would look back for him. He finally resigned and decided to move on from his ill fated fantasies even though it would take all the efforts and time in the world to forget about the lovely Eloise Bridgerton.
Little did he knew; she did look back for him.
Before entering the carriage, Eloise Bridgerton looked back at the print shop. She particularly looked over by the window, hoping to see him. For a second, she saw a figure, or a shadow move inside through the window but it might just have been the light playing tricks on her. She could not help but feel teary eyed as she hoped she would be able to see Theo Sharpe once more. She knew that this will be the last time she will go here. There was no way for her to return as she knew that Eloise Bridgerton broke Theo Sharpe’s heart.
Then a silly thought came into her mind as she recalls his figure walking away from her inside the printshop as he took long strides to get away from her while she called his name. It was an image she knew which will haunt her for a long time. It was a selfish idea for her to think about but for one last time, she wanted to see him again.
“I wished he looked back for me”