Work Text:
“So, do you think you can do it?”
“Can I code a Youtube video into a Minecraft map? Um, I don’t know. I think Green said King was able to do it?”
“Oh, but you don’t know how?”
“Yeah – actually, you know what? I’ll just call and ask how he did it.”
“You have our former villain’s phone number?!”
“Mm hm. It’s engraved on the staff. Sh, it’s ringing.”
“Hello, this is MT speaking.”
“Uh...hi! This is Yellow.”
“Ask him if his refrigerator is running!”
“I’m not gonna do that! Shut up, Red!”
“I’m sorry, who is this?”
“Yellow? You know...the kid you gave your staff to. We fought like a week ago.”
“Oh. Hi. I wasn’t expecting – wait, how did you get this number?”
“That’s not important. What I want to know is how you got map coding to work with this thing. Green said that you coded a Youtube video into a map with your staff and since it is my staff now, I figured you could give me some pointers!”
“Ah geez. Look, kid – I gave you the staff so I could stop obsessing over Minecraft, not to take you on as an apprentice.”
“You still invented it. Don’t you have a responsibility to make sure it isn’t misused?”
“Depends – are you planning to kill somebody with it?”
“Well, no, but - ”
“Can't do worse than me, then. I’m hanging up now. Goodbye, kid.”
“Aw man, he hung up on you. So no surprise rick-roll maps?”
“Oh no – this isn’t over.”
***
“Dang it! I know that I can give you more than three enchantments with this staff!”
“It’s okay, Yellow. I only really needed those three for my pick anyways.”
“I know, but I was able to do it so easily with the staff the villagers gave me! What am I doing wrong with this one? It’s supposed to be even more powerful!”
“Not sure. You could always try looking through the command block manual again?”
“Nah, I’m just gonna call MT.”
“Wait, who’s MT?”
“That’s King’s name, apparently. Hang on, it’s ringing.”
“So you’ve just been calling our enemy - ”
“Former enemy. And yeah, I have him on speed dial. Don’t sweat it, Orange, I’ve already called him eighteen times. Ha – don’t you hang up on me, buddy, you know I’m just gonna keep calling - ”
“Should you really be doing this?”
“What’s he gonna do about it? Attack again? He already gave me his staff! Dang it, MT, pick up the phone!”
“Sounds like he’s regretting every second of it.”
“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it."
“Yellow. Now isn’t really a good time - ”
“I’ll make it fast then. How can I enchant an item more than the maximum amount of times?”
“Okay, fine. What are you trying to enchant?”
***
“Will you tell me how you electrified our cages?”
“Why on earth would you want to know that?”
“I’m just curious! Plus electrified wires might be useful in my redstone builds.”
"Fair enough."
***
“Okay, last call today, I promise - ”
“Can I get that in writing?”
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“Considering that you’ve already said that twice – no. No I don’t.”
***
“How did you do the force hold? That’s not even a Minecraft function!”
“Yellow. It is three in the morning. Go to sleep.”
“But I’m not even – well, bye, I guess.”
***
“Hey, Purple! I wasn’t expecting you to stop by today. What’s in the bag?”
“Hi, Green. Just a gift. Is Yellow around?”
“I think he’s working on a contraption on the top floor. I’d knock before you enter if you don’t want a face full of redstone dust.”
“Thanks for the heads up.”
***
“MT, come on, pick up already – oh hey, Purple. What’s up?”
“Hi, Yellow. I come bearing gifts from my adopted dad.”
“Wait, MT sent you?”
“Mm hm. This bag holds the detailed notes of every single command he’s ever used that staff for. Everything he’s ever thought to try and the results of those attempts, his various experiments with blocks outside of command blocks, how he built the staff – everything is here. Plus his entire Minecraft library.”
“Wow, really? He’s just giving me all of this?”
“Yep. He said 'if you want to learn so badly, this is a good place to start.’ He’s been wanting to get rid of most of this stuff anyways.”
“Okay, cool! I’ll have to thank him on the next call. Hang on, it’s still ringing.”
“...that’s the other thing. MT doesn’t want you to call him anymore. Also, he changed his phone number this morning.”
“What? No! He can’t do that – I still have so many questions!”
“...Yellow. You called him forty-eight times yesterday.”
“It would’ve only been twenty-two if he wasn’t ignoring me for so long.”
“He was trying to sleep!”
“Stick figures don’t need that much sleep. I only need two hours a day!”
“You know, that explains so much. Look, Yellow, if you want, I can give you my number. That way, if there’s something you really need explained about the staff, I can ask MT myself. But you can’t keep doing this, alright?”
“...okay. Gimme your number.”
***
“Purple, did you see Yellow and his friends yet today?”
“Yeah. I dropped off the bag and delivered your message too.”
“Good. You, uh, didn’t curse as much as I did, right?”
“Heh, no – I was very diplomatic about it.”
“I appreciate it. Good work, Purple. Now, dinner’s almost ready – why don’t you go wash up?”
“Alright!”
“And geez, who’s knocking at the door at this hour? Hello – oh no.”
“Hi, MT! Can I come in? I just have a couple more questions...”
“Purple! You forgot to check for stowaways!”