Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Till wasn't the most famous streamer there was. Not anything near that, actually, though he thinks he does well enough.

He has an established fanbase, almost 500k of them, he's sold some merchandise and collaborated with some pretty nice people. He likes streaming, varying between his songwriting and recording processes and any new video game that catches his fancy.

When he started, he didn't think he'd do this for a living. He probably wouldn't be able to afford it, being a struggling musician as he was, for once.

He couldn't blame his comfortable living situation solely on one person, no, since that would be incredibly inconsiderate with the rest of his fans, but this one Navi person definitely funded Till's move from his old apartment mostly by themselves.

Case in point.

> NAVI (TILL'S ATM) DONATED $100: Hyung, how's the new house?

Till reads the donation out loud, ignoring his chat going a little crazy over Navi's donation. By now, Till is used to Navi only ever sending messages through donations. In the beginning, he'd be so flustered, and worried enough that he almost disabled them. Luckily Hyuna talked him out of it.

"It's going well. As everyone can see, my studio isn't done yet," he says, gesturing behind himself into the empty expanse of freshly painted wall. At least he'd painted it black already, since the house had come in with an awful yellow finish. "but the rest is going okay. I'm really sorry for the week I had to take off, everyone."

He quickly scams the chat, his heart feeling warm as all the people watching rush to reassure him that it's not a problem, he should take care of himself, and how glad they are he managed to move from his shitty rented apartment.

"Actually, I have some news for you all." He scratches his neck, a nervous habit, and looks to the side. Hyuna convinced him to do this, so he knows it's something some streamers do without problems, but he can't help being anxious about it. "Since I moved, and this place needs some decorations, I was thinking of opening a PO box and doing an... what's it called? Unboxing?"

The chat is going crazy, he can barely keep up, oh god. He feels his cheeks heat.

"An unboxing live and then decorating my stream setup with some stuff I get. Would you guys like that?"

His chat is a mess of "yeses" and incoherent screams, and Till can't help but smile a little. He's got to say, he's looking forward to this.

The following weeks are a bit of a mess. He streams less than normal, still setting up his new apartment; he goes with Hyuna to buy electronics she swears will make his streaming better, like a new mic and a better streamdeck.

Dewey, his brother, goes with him to buy a new shelving unit and help him set up all his new furniture. Isaac is strangely fixated on saying Till needs rugs and other decorations, otherwise his apartment is "just a place, not a home, bro", apparently.

He checks in with his PO box frequently, each day more excited by all the packages he got. After two weeks he announces on Twitter he'll be closing the PO box in a week since he wants to be able to open all the gifts on stream, and he's already got a good amount of them.

The day after his announcement, he goes to pick up any new packages to store in his living room since he doesn't want to burden the office workers, and finds a package that makes his stomach twist in itself.

It's a large box, clearly packed by hand instead of the usual post-service stamps. And it has a large sticker reading "FROM: NAVI" on it.

Till doubts anyone would use the name to get his attention, since he does treat all his viewers equally, so this really is from Navi. He wonders what is in it, since Navi clearly has money to spare and intends to spend it on Till.

"It's probably a maid dress." Hyuna says, helping him lug it all to his apartment.

"It's not!" He splutters, mortified. Hyuna raises an incredulous eyebrow. "It's probably snacks, or something like that. Navi's said they travel a lot." That, somehow, just makes the eyebrow twitch higher.

"You remember what your viewers say?" She asks, hip-checking his door open. He follows, frowning a little. He always remembers what his viewers say.

Navi, obviously, since they only talk in donations, but also a few other regulars. Kirby has an older sister they're sharing the computer with; Siren started learning the guitar because of Till, and is doing well for himself; Jaewoon – with the username Till's Merch Overlord – draws and is currently suffering through art university, BonBon who has a one-year-old and listens to Till while doing his household chores.

"Yeah? I mean, there's only so many people who regularly chat. And out of those, a good part are my mods." He says, shrugging. He knows Hyuna pays someone she knows in real life to mod for her, but Till didn't think he'd need a mod, since he never expected to get so many views. He kept going without mods for so long that the most active members of the community ended up auto-modding the rest, at which point Till just reached out and asked if they wanted to mod, and now he pays them for it because he felt bad otherwise.

(Of course, Navi isn't a mod. They'd fit Till's criteria, but they never chatted normally, so it was kind of hard to ask.)

"Aaah, you're just too wholesome, heartbreaker." Hyuna says, sighing, the old nickname that still makes Till confused coming out with a teasing lilt. She waves him off before he can say anything, though, plopping the box on the couch and grinning at Dewey. "Hey, this one you'll definitely want to check!"

Till rolls his eyes as his brother 'oohs' and 'aahs' over the package, Isaac peering over with a pocket knife ready to pry it open. When Till mentioned opening a PO box, he insisted on checking the gifts beforehand, just to make sure they were all stream-appropriate and, most importantly, not dangerous for Till.

He was grateful his brother cared, but he was less amused by the teasing and hint-dropping they'd been doing over the content of the packages. He leaves them to it, moving to the kitchen to get some much-needed coffee.

Looks like Isaac bought bungeo-ppang, so Till fills a mug and picks one, nibbling at it and looking into his fridge. He should go buy more food, but there's a 7-Eleven right across his street, so he almost never bothers stocking up. Till does need to get more tea, though, since he dislikes drinking water, and for reasons unknown, his chat enjoys it when he drinks on-stream.

He finishes updating his shopping list and walks back to the living room, where Dewey has already closed the package back up, but is holding a small parcel in his hand, frowning. Hyuna looks over as he approaches, a complicated expression on her face.

"The rest of the package is fine to open on-stream, but I think this one might be best off-stream." She says, and the lack of any teasing or barb makes him worried. She must've read that in his expression, because she grins. "Do you happen to know why this Navi person likes you so much? I wouldn't mind getting some of these myself."

Till can't help but scowl, snatching the parcel from Dewey's hands. He doesn't know Navi, not really, but they're still one of his first viewers, and they do kind of give Till a lot of money.

"Keep your hands away from my viewers, hag." He has to move fast to escape her grab, which soon develops into a little keep-away with the parcel, ending up with Dewey on the ground howling with laughter as Isaac tries to haul Hyuna off him, curled on himself on the ground to keep the parcel to himself.

"Ugh, you brat! Just open it!!" She exclaims, sitting down on Dewey's lap, making the older man yelp. Till huffs, but sits up to analyze the gift.

It seems to be an envelope, like many of the letters he got, but there was something inside of it, making it weirdly bulky. Till unfolds it, tipping the envelope so whatever it is can fall on his open hand, and stares.

There is a pair of... earrings, on his hand.

Diamond earrings, to be precise.

What the fuck.

Till stares at it, then peers inside the envelope. Nothing weird falls out, like a damned credit card or pure gold, but a little recipe with the return address of a high-class jewelry store makes itself known. The rest of the envelope contains a certification for the damned diamonds.

Till curls up back again, head in his hands, groaning. His face is so hot you could cook an egg in it.

Navi got him diamond piercings because Till complained once, months ago, that he wanted to switch out his piercings but didn't have the money for it.

"C'mon Till! You didn't tell me you had a sugar daddy!" Hyuna jeers, and from the hiss and yelp, Dewey just dropped her. The sound of them bickering – Hyuna insisting this Navi person has to be after Till's virtue, and Dewey being insulted by the thought of someone going after his little brother like that, plus Isaac googling the store to throw fuel on the fire – is enough to distract Till form his own freakout.

He sits back up, his face still red, to study the piercings better. There are six items in total. One is a simple diamond stud, a tiny and delicate stone, probably for his second hole. A pair of bigger stones, with four elongated asymmetrical spikes, making it look like a shining star, probably for his first hole. One's a series of round stones inlaid together in a belt, forming a hoop, for his helix piercing. The final ones are two silver loops, delicate and silver, for his double auricle piercing.

He thinks if he puts any of those on, he's going to spontaneously combust.

(Later that night, after Hyuna and Isaac went home and Dewey crashed on his couch, Till locks his bedroom door and tries them on. The pair of star-shaped earrings go on both ears, the tiny stud on his left, alongside the helix, which he takes a while to get on since it is so finicky, he pierced it himself with a safety pin in high school. The hoops go on his right, looking a little lonely with just the earring, remembering Till that he really wishes he had money to get a constellation on that ear.

He's wearing a simple white shirt, ready for bed, that slips off his shoulder to show off the simple moon covered by clouds on his clavicle, clashing with the TILL tattoo he has over his neck. He turns this way and that, watching the diamonds shine, and feels almost bad for using them.

Why did Navi send this to him? What did Till do, to deserve something as delicate as this? He's not the kindest of people, he's kind of an asshole actually, all shouting and side eyes. He's not the kind of guy that can properly appreciate such nice jewelry, not the kind of person that should be appreciated like this.

Still. The diamond shines against his skin, the silver compliments his white hair. He takes most of them off, only keeping the simple snake bites. He doesn't want to somehow dirty up the diamonds.)

Ivan has a day off, finally, and normally he wouldn't be awake at this time on his day off.

But today is also a Till Streaming Day (capital letters required), so he's awake and drinking coffee his assistant bought him, Till's waiting screen mirrored into his TV as he reads over his newest script. Of course, the moment Till's face comes into view, Ivan gives up any pretense of working.

"Hey, everyone." He says, waving to the camera. Ivan checks the chat on his phone, something warm in his chest as greetings pour in. Is it a little ridiculous that he's proud of someone who doesn't know he exists? Probably, but Ivan was one of the first 100 subscribers, he's allowed to feel proud of the hundreds of viewers actively chatting.

Till does his usual routine, greeting viewers and talking about his day, no fake enthusiasm or playing into the chat's taste; he talks as if they're all friends, as if there's no need to pamper his viewers.

He talks about how he ate a very weird coconut muffin for breakfast, about how his brother is home today and made a Frappuccino for them both, comments on a few viewers' chatter and even remembers subjects brought up in previous streams.

Finally, he claps his hands, as if he needs to call attention back to himself.

"So, today I'm going to unbox everything you guys sent for my PO box. There was so much! Thank you. It's closed for now, but I'll probably do this again someday, if you guys want me to." He looks off to the side, rolling his eyes at someone else. Ivan barely has the time to get curious and jealous before he looks back at the camera. "My brother wanted to make sure everything was safe to show on stream, and that all the snacks were safe to keep out of the fridge, so he already checked everything. I have no idea what it is, though."

The chat seems to have no problem with it, the majority of it talking about how thoughtful he is, how they want a brother like that. Ivan quickly reports the members being bitchy with a few clicks before the realization hits that Till's brother saw his package.

That is quickly followed by the realization that Till is not using his usual double auricle studs. No, today he has on two simple hoops, shining new and silver.

He has Ivan's gift on.

Ivan may be having a heart attack.

(Truth be told, he'd almost forgotten he bought those. He was listening to Till's stream as he strolled a mall in Switzerland, on break from filming, and Till commented he wished he could switch his piercings, since they were so old. He didn't comment on what he wanted, instead helping a viewer decide between a helix or a spider bite.

Ivan took a detour from his clothes shopping, spent far too long looking at the selection at the jewelry store, and picked the prettiest ones he could find before heading back to his hotel room and collapsing for four hours before filming began at 5am the other day.

He only remembered them a month later, when Till said he'd be opening his PO box. He didn't have piercings, his agency would kill him, so he might as well send them along.)

He hadn't thought Till would actually use them, was the thing. Maybe he'd sell them, make some money off the diamonds. But now Ivan wanted to see Till with all of them, the delicate diamonds shining in a darkened room, the halo of Till's hair reflecting light just as well as the gemstones would.

He watched in a daze as Till opened the packages, thanking viewers and commenting how the items could fit on his set-up, his brother's hand occasionally appearing in-frame to hand over a box or examine something closer.

Ivan almost had his heartbeat under control, back to leaning against his couch, when Till's brother pushed forward a big box. A big box with Ivan's handwriting.

Oh, god.

"And this is from... Navi!" Till says, and if Ivan can trick himself into thinking it's a blush on his face, that's his business. He chanced a glance at the chat.

> KIRBY ☑: of course the big box is from navi.

> MIZI'S BOOT: look it's the oil tycoon!!

> TillStepOnMe: OMG WHAT'S ON THAT

> jiejiehere: ooh rich noona strikes again

> fiieldofroses: girl why are you insisting navi's a girl

> jiejieshere: no self-respecting boy would send that much money to a male streamer, obvs shes using hyung to deflect

> KIRBY ☑: girlie don't make me click this ban button for homophobia

Ivan shakes his head, smiling a little as the chat bickers on. He doesn't really care what people say about him, but he appreciates Kirby's quickly shutting it down. Ivan has no time to be a mod, but Kirby reached out to him in private to reassure Ivan can talk in chat without donations, and that they'd "cut a bitch" if they made Ivan uncomfortable.

> NAVI (TILL'S ATM) DONATED $100: Hope you enjoy it, hyung!

On-screen, Till shakes his head. "Navi, you know you don't need to send me anything, right? Thank you, I'm sure I'll like it." He says, apparently absent-mindedly touching the two hoops. Ivan feels butterflies in his stomach. His brother probably took the earrings out of the box so Till could see it in private, which makes Ivan... grateful. He hadn't even thought about the pressure Till would feel to thank him live for such an expensive gift.

Till opens the box, and the first thing out is a series of snacks Ivan collected from all over the world as he traveled for his newest movie. Till makes really, incredibly cute 'ooh' noises, piling them all on his lap.

"Wow, Navi, that's a lot of food. We also got some from other people, do you guys think I should do a mukbang next live?" He asks, tilting his head at the camera.

If Ivan has to watch Till eat for a whole live he thinks he's going to die.

> NAVI (TILL'S ATM) DONATED $25: Hyung, you should eat them all on stream and rate them!

> KIRBY ☑: navi buddy that's a great idea

> sirenren ☑: ooh mukbang!! do one with fried chicken!!

> LUKAmysavior: till when are you posting another cover

"Alright, then I'll save them for next live." He grins to the side, and Ivan's heart is about to beat out of his chest, Till looks so good grinning. "Then we can invite my brother's boyfriend and they can help me eat it all."

> jiejieshere: oh ew is he gay????

> KIRBY ☑: GIRLIE YOU'RE TESTING ME

> hyunhyun-ssi: ban 'em kirbs

> woonie: ooh that's nice!! more people on a mukbang makes it a lot better!

> bonbon ☑: sharing food always gives me a good feeling! can't wait for the mukbang!

> KIRBY ☑: banned ;)

"Let's see what else is here." He says, rummaging on the box until he comes up with a folded piece of cloth. Till shakes it out, showing off a white pullover sweater. Ivan knows by experience it's very, very soft, and knitted by hand, because he bought it himself. Selfishly, he measured it so it would be more or less his size, in the feeble hope Till would put it on and Ivan could at least have a good idea of what Till would look like with Ivan's clothes.

"Oh wow, this is soft..." He says, wonderingly, running one hand over it.

> KIRBY ☑: do you guys think navi will die if till puts it on

> woonie: LMAO RIP

> fiieldofroses: till put it on!

> bonbon ☑: Oh that looks knitted! Is it custom?

> bulletcase: oppa is always cold, that's thoughtful!

"Let's see how it looks." Till says, and pulls off his usual jacket to pull the sweater over his head. Ivan feels his soul leaving his body. "Oh, it feels good." He says, standing up to adjust it.

The sweater isn't big enough that it would give off any sorts of 'boyfriend's clothes' vibes, but Till's shoulders are narrower than Ivan's, and the collar is a little too big, sliding to the side to expose his t-shirt.

Ivan picks his phone on autopilot.

> NAVI (TILL'S ATM) DONATED $50: hyung looks good

> KIRBY ☑: LMAO NAVI YOU GOOD?

> hyunhyun-ssi: GOODBYE NAVI'S GRAMMAR

> fiieldofroses: till looks so cute <3

Till smiles at the camera, rubbing his fingers over the sweater over and over again. "This is really soft, thank you Navi!"

Ivan's possibly losing his mind.

"Okay, let's see what else is there." He says, sitting back down to pull the last thing from the box; a custom neon sign with Till's channel name, custom-made so it changes colors. Till thanks him again, smiling excitedly about it, and keeps the sweater on for the rest of the stream.

Ivan doesn't send anything else, fixated on how good Till looks, on how happy he is, on how much Ivan wants to make him happier.

The stream goes on for 6 hours, Till opening every package and reading every letter, and even starting to move some things into his setup. The first decoration he puts up is Ivan's neon sign. Ivan has to stop himself from buying a new keyboard when Till shows off his computer and comments how he wishes he'd gotten one with RBGs in it.

He goes to bed that night on cloud nine, warm and relaxed and content.

(He also jerks off into a white sweater he has. It's not the same thing, but he does picture Till beneath him, diamond piercings shining on the moonlight, silver hair a halo around his head.

God, Ivan is so pathetic.)

Till is settling nicely in his new apartment. Most of the furniture is assembled, and he has found some really great decorations, enough so it now looks like a proper home instead of a 'frat boy's house', as Hyuna called it. He found a bunch of antique vinyl disks to hang around the living room, and Isaac and his brother found a second-hand store that sold stuff cheap enough that a good portion of his budget wasn't eaten up.

He ponders what to do with it, wondering if he should buy something else for his setup, get some more clothes since he really is always cold and needs more stuff he can layer nicely.

"You should get a tongue piercing." Dewey says, putting his tongue out in demonstration. Besides him Isaac nods sagely, taking a moment to swallow down the burger he's eating before saying anything.

"You can always just wait for the winter sale to get more clothes. Plus, the piercing is hot as fuck." He says, waving a french fry at Dewey.

"Aw babe, you think it's hot?" His brother says, battling his eyelashes. Isaac grins.

"Totally, and feels really good on my–" Till squeaks and covers his ears, in no mood to hear about his brother's dating life.

"I'm getting more soda!" He announces, getting up and walking away from their table. He knows them enough to guess that they'll make out now.

Really, Till is glad his brother found Isaac; their childhood wasn't an easy one, and Dewey practically raised Till. Isaac was the first decent person his brother dated after a string of bad exes, the first to sit Till down and do his homework with him instead of insisting Dewey leave his little brother home to go out.

They've been together for almost 6 years now, and Isaac is about as much as his brother as Dewey is. Doesn't mean Till is any more interested in hearing about their sex life now than when he was 17 and they were going at it like rabbits.

He walks back to the table with a new cup just in time to see Isaac kiss Dewey's forehead, their hands entwined on Isaac's cheek, before they look over and lower their hands below the table. Till rolls his eyes. The fact that they have no problem fucking were Till can hear but hide all the mush romantic things is simply beyond him.

"Seriously, though. You can get clothes later, you should get something to celebrate moving out!" Isaac says, pushing his fries over as Till sits down. Dewey is nodding his head.

"If you'd prefer a tattoo, I can design something for you. You'll have to buy the piercing yourself, though I can convince Hyung to lower the price." He says, and Till considers it. Dewey is a good tattoo artist, he did all of Till's tattoos, and the owner of the studio he works at did all of Till's piercings. He's comfortable with all of them, and the idea of getting something to mark the occasion, as he did with all his other piercings, is a tempting one.

"I'll think about it." Is all he says, eating the chips as Dewey and Isaac start discussing what sort of tattoo and/or piercing Till should do, ranked based on how hot they think said piercing or location is. Till feels his ears burn when Isaac comments if Till gets a piercing, he bets Navi will send a new one to match his new piercings, and Dewey goes on about how a diamond on the tongue is just a bad idea.

Till focuses on finishing his fries. He's still unsure of what to think about Navi. Before the gifts, he was mostly just... ignoring it. Yeah, Navi sent in a lot of money, but they were never inappropriate in their messages, and Till knows that streaming is his job; there's no use worrying about how much money someone wants to send him. He's not going to clickbait his viewers or try to pretend to be in a parasocial relationship, so if someone wants to spend money on him, that's none of his business.

The piercings kind of change that, though.

It's physical proof that there is someone out there who listens to Till, who spent time choosing expensive things for him, who comes to almost all of his streams, even if just to leave a "Busy today, will watch the VOD. Good stream <3" donation.

It makes Till wonder who it is.

Dewey thinks it's an old woman who's bored with her husband, like one of the many kpop fans he's seen online. Isaac thinks it's some office worker who likes to watch Till's streams on the way back from work. Hyuna says it must be some bored executive who's looking for a new sugar baby.

Till has no idea which one it could be, but the way Hyuna talks about it makes his stomach squirm, and he's not sure if it's in a good or bad way yet.

Till snaps out of his thoughts when Dewey messes up his hair, looking up to see him standing up while Isaac collects all the trash to throw out.

"Ready to go? If we're done with the supermarket by four, we can probably stay to make dinner."

"Oh hell yeah!" Till says, practically jumping up. Isaac's homemade dinner is always the best kind of dinner.

Ivan is having his mandatory once-every-two-months lunch with his sister when his phone pings with the notification set up for Till-related notifications.

He unlocks his phone, clicks on the Twitter notification, and is greeted by a picture of Till, green eyes standing out against his pale skin, awkwardly positioning his phone to take a picture of the silver ball nestled on his tongue, the surroundings still tender and puffy.

TILL ☑ @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

got a new piercing to celebrate the new place. will have to skip the next stream, sorry guys!

[ IMG DESC; a picture of Till holding his phone up to his face to show his new tongue piercing. He is wearing a black t-shirt, with his hair pushed back with a headband. The piercing is a simple silver ball, the area surrounding it redder than the rest. You can see his eyebags below his green eyes. ]

2K Views | 15 Retweets | 4 Quote Tweets | 1K Likes

Ivan chokes on his kimchi, and it takes almost a minute of him dying on the floor before Sua deigns to pat his back. He bets she took pictures, like the evil, evil sister she is.

Mizi, god bless her heart, she is too kind for his sister, hurries over to offer him a glass of water. He thanks her and focuses on drinking the water instead of focusing on the picture still open on his phone.

"What did your boy-toy do now?" Sua asks, and he almost chokes on the water. Instead, he puts it down to glare at her.

"He's not my boy-toy." He says, turning back to his phone to save the picture and scroll through the replies.

K-K-KIRBY @kirbitch

↳ replying to @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

HELLO. TILL???? EXCUSE ME. WHO ALLOWED THIS.

5 Views | 1 Retweets | 1 Quote Tweets | 3 Likes

hyunjin @hoejin

↳ replying to @kirbitch

Deep breaths babe

2 Views | 0 Retweets | 0 Quote Tweets | 1 Likes

...to his roses 🌹 @FieldOfFlowers

↳ replying to @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

I'd like everyone to know my girlfriend just made a sound like a dying whale and is on the ground now. Should I worry?

3 Views | 0 Retweets | 0 Quote Tweets | 2 Likes

the guns... @bulletcase

↳ replying to @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

NFSNOWEIFSNF

7 Views | 0 Retweets | 0 Quote Tweets | 1 Likes

womp womp @woonie_

↳ replying to @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

quick who has TillStepOnMe socials i need the reaction

4 Views | 0 Retweets | 1 Quote Tweets | 3 Likes

Ivan feels a kinship as he watches his fellow frequent chatters lose their minds, and tweets from his private fan account. He doesn't have many people there, besides Sua and other frequent Till-watchers.

I🚐 (🔒) @bl4cks0rrow

↳ replying to @TILLTHEWORLD_ENDS

i think i died and went to heaven

3 Views | 0 Retweets | 0 Quote Tweets | 2 Likes

Mizi makes a curious noise and leans in, and Ivan obligingly scrolls back to the picture.

"Boy-toy is better than stalkee, you know." Sua comments, raising one eyebrow at him. From where she's leaning on his shoulder, Mizi lets out a giggle, letting go of his phone to sit back on the table.

"He's cute! Is he an actor as well?" Ivan shakes his head, taking a deep breath. His heart is still hammering away, but he's enough in control to continue his lunch.

"No, a streamer. He does sing, though." He says, because he knows Mizi will be more distracted by the possibility of getting to know about a new singer than she will be interested in prodding over his love life. Sua rolls her eyes at him, but fuck her anyhow. She's a pest.

Ivan spends the rest of lunch showing Mizi all of Till cover's and original songs. They're too rock-punk for her tastes, but Mizi does incredibly well with grittier songs, for someone who looks like the human incarnation of an angel.

By the way she leaves murmuring the lyrics to 'till the world ends', Ivan thinks that Till just got a new fan.

He has the urge to keep Till to himself, of course. Ivan is the one who has been supporting him from the beginning, who has kept a close look on his growth and career. He wants to keep all of Till to himself, where only he can love and cherish the most beautiful person Ivan has ever seen.

But he's aware that's selfish, that Till is a devoted Mizi fan, that Till doesn't even know Ivan exists. If Mizi covers one of Till's songs, that's an opportunity of a lifetime. Ivan would be the worst human being on earth if he kept Till from such opportunities.

Sua pats his back, a wry smile on her face. She's his evil older sister, and they did as much as they could when they were young to differentiate themselves, but in this they're the same; they fall once, and they fall hard, and Sua is not a good enough person to introduce her girlfriend to people she may like better than Sua.

Ivan shrugs. They're not dating, and Till deserves the best. He doubts they could ever actually be something, with their worlds so far apart, and Mizi is gone on Sua. The worst that can happen from this is Mizi adding some rock songs to her playlist.

Till deserves to have his music heard, to have people appreciate his talent. The least Ivan can do is support him from afar.

(Doubting they'll ever be together also means Ivan has absolutely zero shame in opening the picture that night, propping it up on his sink and jerking off to the image of Till on his knees with his tongue out, ready for Ivan to use.

They'll never meet. Ivan doesn't need to feel bad about his obsession.)

Things move on smoothly for Till. He's used to his new apartment, his set-up is pinterest-worthy if Hyuna has anything to say about it, and he's even opened his PO box again, warning his fans to only send letters and small packages, since he really enjoyed reading what everyone had to say.

(He's actually working on a collage of sorts, decking out one wall of his office with the letters. He always feels warm, looking at them. Kirby sent a really cute letter full of mongmong stickers, Bonbon's kid drew a really cute crayon rendition of his dad peering at his phone while vacuuming, and Jaewoon sent about 5 different drawings he treasures greatly.)

Leaving his PO box open, however, also means Navi has been sending a never-ending stream of little gifts. Almost none of them come with letters, or if they do, they're brief and printed from a computer. Apparently, since Till only comments on the contents of the gifts if he happens to wear them on-stream and said viewer comments on it, Navi decided that's the perfect excuse to spoil Till without making him lose his composure on-stream.

So far, Till has gotten; a new sweater, a varied collection of rings, a bundle of cellphone charms after he commented the string he looped through the case to hold his phone in case it falls frayed away.

Apparently, Navi also managed to walk around the "small package" limitation by sending gift cards for several stores. Till had no idea furniture stores even did gift cards.

He felt... sort of warm. If it was just an old man looking to spend his money or lure Till in, they'd probably insist on more diamonds or expensive stuff, right? Or insist Till comment on the gifts live, if it was some sort of sasaeng looking for attention.

Navi never did any of those things. After the diamonds, the gifts were never something Till would consider super expansive, unless you counted the frequency of them. The rings were silver, but none had jewels, the phone charms looked like something Till himself could get online, except the tags on them showed they were bought in Taiwan. The gift cards were weirder, but nothing more expensive than what Navi would donate over the course of one or two streams.

That is, until this latest gift.

Till stares at it, feeling the bottom of his stomach give out. He's in his kitchen, back from a supermarket run after he picked his latest batch of letters. He was going to read them while he ate lunch, but he feels 0 interest in his food right now.

He's holding two tickets for Mizi's concert, in the VIP section. One of those that comes attached to a meet-and-greet.

Clipped to them in an inconspicuous pink paperclip is a note.

I don't know if you got tickets for yourself, but I won these and will be out of the country at the time. I hope you can enjoy them with someone else.

If the staff needs any information about the VIP status, here's my number.

(xx) xxx-xxx.

- Navi.

It is a handwritten note, written with a black pen in a hurry, so much so Till has to squint to make some of it out. The handwriting looks like someone who's not used to writing, with lots of places where the pen left marks as it hovered over the page without gliding, except the signature, which looks practed and neat.

Till has no idea what to do about this.

He calls Hyuna.

"Hi, I'm live." She answers, and he swears. He forgot to account for her streaming hours. He must sound agitated enough it worries her, because there's the sound of a few buttons being pressed, probably muting herself. "Till?"

He takes a deep breath.

"Sorry, I can call later." He says, putting the tickets down carefully and taking his lunch to the sink. He won't finish it.

"It's fine, what happened?"

"Navi sent in another gift." He can practically feel her rolling her eyes equal parts exasperated and relieved.

"Till, if you called me to fawn over your potential sugar daddy–"

"It's two tickets to Mizi's concert, VIP, with a meet-and-greet. And a number to contact if there's problems getting in." He says quickly, interrupting her. He runs one hand through his hair, starting to get stressed. Is this a trick? Is Navi going to be waiting on the seat besides these, corner Till in the show? No, they wouldn't send two tickets if this was the case.

"Holy shit." Hyuna says, entirely surprised. He makes a little agreeable noise. "Holy shit, Till, these aren't just expensive, they're like, hard to get. Did you message them yet?"

Till shakes his head, then realizes she can't see it. "No, I didn't call or message. Should I?" On the other side of the line Hyuna makes a tsk sound.

"No, don't call or message it. Let me finish the stream normally, and then we can look into it, okay? You said two tickets right? If you decide to go, take me or Isaac, and it should be alright." Till hums his agreement, and lets Hyuna go to finish her stream. It's a good plan, Hyuna can and has punched guys who harassed her, and Isaac is built like a brick house, no way a weirdo is getting close to him with Isaac there.

Dewey is probably a bad idea, he's more likely to punch first and ask questions never.

Till sighs, puts the tickets back on the envelope and goes take a bath, hoping it'll help him relax and maybe bring back his appetite.

Ivan is taking a water break from rehearsals when his phone chimes with a notification from an unknown number.

He immediately feels dread, did his number get leaked? He sits up, putting his water bottle down and opening the message.

Unknown [ 3:24PM ]

Is this Navi?

Ivan blinks at the message, not understanding it for a long second. And then he is hit with the memories of staying up at night some days ago, reviewing the footage from the day's shoot and going over the script time and time again, because his performance was horrible and the whole scene had to be scrapped and he was so frustrated, and...

And Sua sent a message asking if he'd meet her for Mandated Lunch Time before Mizi's concert next month, and he remembered he couldn't make it since he'd be shooting that day, and he thought.

Till likes Mizi. Ivan has Mizi tickets.

He doesn't even remember what he wrote on the damn letter, oh god, did he sign with his name? Plaster his address on it??

This is fine. Ivan is fine. He asks one of the fight coordinators for five minutes and heads into the bathroom.

You [ 3:25PM ]

Yes, who is it?

Better to see what they know before saying anything incriminating.

Unknow [ 3:25PM ]

This is Till. Did you really send me Mizi tickets? How did you even get them?

Okay. Deep breaths, Ivan. You can do it. Say this is Navi, you really sent the tickets and that it's no big deal, and you got them... How did you get them? You can't say your real name, and saying you bought them for Till would sound weird, these really are expansive.

Ivan takes a deep breath, and sits on the toilet's lid, crossing his legs to rest his elbows on his knees.

You [ 3:26PM ]

Hyung, you always said you liked them, and I happened across these as a job perk. I'll be out of the country, so it was no problem to give them to you.

Unknow [ 3:26PM ]

A job perk? Even if that's true, they can't have been cheap. I've already told you, there's no need to keep wasting money on me.

You [ 3:27PM ]

It's not wasting money, hyung. I really enjoy your lives, and it makes me happy knowing you're enjoying yourself. I work in the industry, so I know some people who are much less talented than you with a lot more opportunities. I just wanted to give you something to enjoy.

Ivan's fingers are flying over the keyboard before he's even conscious of it, indignation flaring up in his chest. Till works so much, he produces and sings and plays the guitar and drums, he writes his own lyrics, he's so incredibly talented and it makes Ivan furious to know he doesn't see it.

Ivan's been in the spotlight since he was a child acting on toy commercials, met even more people when he and Sua acted together as the twins of a famous singer on a period drama, and there's so many of these so-called "idols" that have a pretty voice and body and nothing else to give. So many actors bank on their looks and have 0 dedication to the craft. It makes Ivan livid.

You [ 3:27PM ]

Hyung is so hard-working, and I really wish you'd see it. Your music deserves to be sold on albums and people should praise you so much more for how good your lyrics are. The people I work with don't put half the effort Hyung does, and they get to go to shows and afterparties all the time. I just want to let Hyung see his Idol and have a good time, since I won't use the tickets anyway. Is that bad?

Ivan is... breathing hard. He's somehow lost his cool. He watches as the three dots appear and disappear, and decides to get up. He exits the stall, splashes some water on his face, combs his hair back. Does a breathing exercise his mother taught him and Sua when his father and Sua's mom were fighting, and looks back at his phone.

Unknow [ 3:28PM ]

Thank you. I'll enjoy the show.

...

Can I still message this number after it?

Ivan lets out an entirely undignified squeal, and almost does a little victory dance, all previous frustration wipes clean. Till wants to keep talking! Till isn't rejecting him!! Ivan has Till's phone number!!

You [ 3:29PM ]

Yes! Hyung can message me whenever <3 I'll do my best to answer!

Unknow [ 3:30PM ]

Great. I'll let you know how the show goes, then.

Ivan may be getting ready for a heart attack at the tender age of 22, but he's never regretted anything, ever, in his life.

Chapter Text

Till was... nervous. For more than one reason.

Firstly, he was getting ready for Mizi's concert. He'd be nervous going to any show, since crowded places made him antsy, but this was a meet and greet. He bought a new jacket exclusively for this, and was trying very hard not to be weird about using perfume and generally dressing up for the occasion.

Secondly, he had Navi's number. He hadn't said anything after that first exchange, too awkward to try and make small talk but he found himself... wanting to.

He refused to let Hyuna send the messages, since she was halfway ready to demand to see Navi's ID. It was awkward but then... Then Navi had said all those things, about how much he liked Till's music, how Till deserved more recognition than what he got...

It made Till's stomach swoop, his cheeks colored red.

It reminded Till of those days when he had only 100 followers, when Navi would send 100$ donations solely to max the character limit as he talked about how much he liked Till's lyrics, how his mixing made him feel, how he couldn't believe Till didn't have a record deal yet.

After that short text conversation, Hyuna had changed her "bored office worker" theory to a "disillusioned producer", and for once Till was inclined to agree.

It still meant he was far from understanding why Navi would send him so much money.

"Till, are you ready?" Hyuna calls out, startling Till out of his thoughts. He gives a last once-over to his outfit, deems it ready, and goes to greet her.

Hyuna is wearing a black tank-top, cargo pants, hiking boots and a leather jacket he's sure once belonged to Dewey when he still ran with a motorcycle gang. She rolls his eyes at his stare.

"Ready to go? We need to be in the venue in half an hour if we want to get in at a good time." He nods, checking that the clear bag he's bringing has all his necessary documents.

Tickets? Check. ID? Check. His first Mizi album and custom photocard binder? Check. A handwritten letter for Mizi? Check. Extra pens in case he or other fans need it? Check. A truly unholy number of phone charms he made himself the night before to exchange with fans? Check. He makes grabby hands to Hyuna, waiting until she puts all her stuff in the bag as well before shouldering it.

"You're such a mother hen." She says, grinning. "I heard we might not be allowed in with food, so I sent Isaac to get something from the convenience store we can eat on the way."

"Oh, good idea. He's meeting us there?" He asks, perking up. He really wasn't looking forward to surviving on granola bars for the day.

They end up meeting Isaac in the car, since he and Dewey are driving them and Hyuna wanted to re-touch her makeup. Isaac gets them both sandwiches, as well as a pack of chips to eat in the queue. He also gets two Starbucks packaged drinks, black coffee for Hyuna, and caramel frappuccino for Till.

Luckily, the queue isn't too big; the meet-and-greet isn't open for a lot of people, so Till spends his time waiting by chatting with fellow fans, discussing the new album, and even meets one of his own fans, Mizi's Boots, who he remembers as an occasional chatter who mostly comes for his mixing streams.

She's very flustered that he remembers her, but eventually they settle into some more normal conversations, Hyuna teasing them both about bringing so many phone charms to trade. He makes sure to put hers on his phone right away, since she takes care to pick one that matches his streaming set-up.

It also reminds him that... he has Navi's number.

He should send a message, right? Just to say he's at the venue. He did a few lives since getting the tickets, and only commented that he'd be going on the last one, so as to not give his fans any time to buy tickets to search him out instead of Mizi.

Navi had said nothing to indicate he was the one who sent the tickets, a simple "I hope hyung has fun!!" being the only message on the subject.

He decides not to overthink it, and takes out his phone to take a selfie of him, with Hyuna in the background talking to a fan of hers. He hunts for Navi's contact.

You [ 04:44pm ]

On the line to see Mizi. Thanks again for the tickets.

[IMG.7347]

He closes his phone, ignoring the flutter in his stomach to focus on the experience at hand. It's almost time to go in.

The queue moves forward,

"Chill, Till. You've watched these events like a thousand times on live streams, it's going to be fine." Hyuna says, after they're already seated in the auditorium. He's glad his fan was seated far away from them, since he'd feel awful if she watched him losing his cool like this.

"Okay, but what if I trip and fall right in front of her? What then?" Till frets, combing one hand through his hair. Hyuna rolls her eyes, opening her mouth to tease him some more when the lights dim and a manager comes on-stage to announce Mizi.

Till immediately forgets his nerves, leaning forward to watch better. Mizi walks on-stage already waving, a radiant smile on her face. She's dressed more casually than she usually is for shows, with her glasses on. Her long pink hair is left free, bouncing as she moves to say hi to everyone on the first roll.

Till doesn't even see Hyuna settle down, focused on Mizi. She does a little QNA, pointing at people to answer. Most questions are pretty simple, like how's Mizi's doing, what's her favorite song from the newest album, favorite snack, and so on. She even calls on Hyuna, who asks if Mizi likes video games.

(Apparently, she's an Animal Crossing player. Till is so endeared, he loves her, oh god.)

After that fanfare, she sits on the stage, legs dangling closer to the first row, and sings My Clematis with her guitar. She thanks everyone, asks for five minutes to get some water, and the fansign begins.

Till has... a vague idea of the hour or so that happened between then and his turn. He knows Hyuna leans in to talk to him, mindless chatter about their streams and their next collab, about how Luka's workflow is increasing so she's thinking of paying for another chat mod.

In the blink of an eye, he's sliding on a chair in front of Mizi, and out of the hundred times he's imagined this meeting, he'd never have thought of this.

She squints at him, tilting her head to the side, and says; "Oh, you're Till, right? The streamer?"

Till's face is so hot he thinks he's going to die.

Ivan is busy recording when he gets the message. He sees his assistant check his phone out of the corner of his eyes, bored out of his mind as he loiters on the edge of the stage waiting for his cue. He tilts his head, but his assistant doesn't say anything, pockets the phone back up and scowls at him. Ivan scowls right back, putting his tongue out before focusing back on his work.

It's a grueling session. He has a fight scene that they film over and over again, from all possible angles, and Ivan is tired enough after it he goes directly to bed, not even remembering to check his phone or that today was Mizi's concert.

He wakes up to sounds in his kitchen, and Mizi's lilting laughter permeating his apartment. He forces an eye open, groggy, just to be met with a glass of water tapping his forehead.

He flinches back, looking up to see Sua in his room, water glass in hand.

"Good morning, stalker. Take these." She says, more or less shoving the water and a pill at him. He groans, but sits back up to take it, keenly feeling all his muscles protest. God, he really overdid it last night.

Sua makes a little noise, like a disgusted cat, and leaves his room. He takes a few minutes to wake up, sipping the water.

Sua normally doesn't use her key to visit him; she always says his apartment is sad and depressing and she's not staying near his stink for more than an hour. It's not even the first time he's missed Mandated Lunch Time, and she rarely goes hunting for him, since she can always just call him at any time of the night and he's 90% certain to answer, just because it's her.

What in the nine hells does she have to tell him, that she even dragged Mizi over?

No use trying to decipher his sister's behavior, he thinks, getting up and moving to the bathroom. He does his business, splashes water on his face, and feels a little more human by the time he walks to his kitchen. He has an interesting set of bruises over his ribs from his co-workers practice staff hitting his side repeatedly during filming, as well as a bad knee.

Mizi is puttering around his kitchen, setting the island counter with three plates of rice with an egg over it while Sua ladles some sort of soup with his leftover kimchi onto three bowls. They're so domestic about it, and he knows they do this every morning for themselves ever since they moved in together when Mizi was 18. Sua isn't the best of cooks, but she loathes fast food, and Mizi likes cooking, even if she always over-spices everything.

He sits down, and basks for a while. This isn't anything near a normal family, he knows. He hasn't seen his parents in years, and he and Sua have a relationship that swings between disinterest and codependency at the drop of a hat.

The center of it all, of course, is Mizi.

She's sweet, she has a loving mother who goes to most of her shows, she loves Sua with a dedication and cheerfulness that are unending and boundless. She heard from Sua about her little brother when they were in school and folded Ivan into her orbit like she didn't see him as a Sua-Tag-Along, like he was his own person and worthy of being treated as such.

He understands Sua's love for Mizi more than he'd like to admit, even if he knows he could never have something like that.

(He's too rough, too forceful, too intense. He could never match Mizi's kindness as Sua does, never be as gentle and open as Sua is without biting the hand that feeds him.

He's the bastard son of Sua's rich father, only able to attain his fame and status because he looks enough like her that Sua's mother preferred the scandal of a hidden pregnancy than of a cheating husband. All he can have for himself is the stolen kindness from Mizi, the distant worship to Till, Sua's disguised affection. He's content with that.)

"So, stalker, have you checked your phone today yet? Or yesterday?" Sua asks, pulling Mizi's chair for her before sitting down. Ivan frowns at her smirk.

"No? I said I was too busy to go to Mizi's show, I wasn't lying. Filming was a mess." He says, way more interested in reaching for his bowl to see what soup they managed to make with the contents of his admittedly empty fridge. To his delight, it’s bugeoguk. Sua must have bought him groceries, because he definitely didn't have fish in stock yesterday. "Aaah, this is so good! Mizi-noona is such a good cook."

Sua, however, isn't willing to rise to the bait this time, even if Mizi does blush and smile. She slides his phone over to him, which, when did she even get it? Ivan gives it up, puts the food down and reaches for it.

Twitter, instagram and other social media notifications, as usual, one message from his assistant, nothing special, and...

One Message from Till.

Ivan feels his heartbeat pick up, sucking in a startled breath. That's right. Mizi's concert, the tickets Ivan gave Till.

He briefly panics, thinking something went wrong and he couldn't get in, but then he remembers his assistant looking at his phone yesterday. If there were any problems, she was instructed to help Till get in, just like how she's been told to leave at least one donation on every Till stream Ivan is too busy to watch, as well as record them if they're singing streams, since sometimes Till doesn't save the VOD of those due to copyright.

He opens Till's message with shaking hands.

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 04:44pm ]

On the line to see Mizi. Thanks again for the tickets.

[IMG.7347]

The picture attached is of Till, in the line to see Mizi, with several people behind him, most notably Hyuna, Till's streamer friend who Ivan thinks is actually Till's brother's friend.

He's using Mizi fanmerch as a T-shirt, something large and comfy that has Mizi's signature spray-painted in black over the white shirt. Over that, he's using Mizi's official varsity jacket, something Ivan thinks sold out on her last tour; it's bright pink and black, with iridescent patches and details. He's pairing that with black jeans, the material hugging his legs.

His hair is pushed back from his forehead, looking soft and tousled. He's blushing, just a little, green eyes focused just off-center, most likely looking at his reflection on the cellphone instead of the camera. His eyebags are gone for once, combined with the subtle eyeliner, Ivan would guess he has makeup on. His mouth is just starting to turn up in a shy grin, as if unused to the expression.

He's using all of Ivan's gifted piercings.

Ivan's glad he's not holding his food, otherwise he'd have dropped it.

(He doesn't see it, but Sua is grinning. Her little brother's crush is endearing and she lives to make fun of him; anything that can throw Ivan off is good in her books. She had no stakes on Ivan's internet crush, thinking it would die down in a while... Until he showed him to Mizi, genuine affection on his voice as he walked her girlfriend through his original songs and discussed his lyrics.

She watched a few streams, since then, and couldn't help but roll her eyes everytime Ivan sent a new donation. He really couldn't just talk to him, could he?)

"Oh, is that Till?" Mizi asks, leaning in. "He's so nice! Here, look." She says, fishing her own phone with its army of charms out to show Ivan a picture of her own.

It is Till, awkwardly holding Mizi's phone to fit both him and Mizi in the picture, the fansign table between them. He's grinning, his smile bigger than Ivan has ever seen it, his face red in a blush that reaches his ears. His green eyes are shining, lit up with glee and genuine happiness.

He's so beautiful, radiant, so bright to look at. Ivan's heart thuds in his chest, he's so in love.

Mizi, unaware of his crisis, lets go of the phone to rummage around her at least 15 phone charms to fish one out. It has a black cord looping it to the rest, the body consisting of a black star followed by small pink and black beads, framing four white beads with Mizi's initials on it.

"We exchanged charms! He said he made this one himself. Isn't it cute?"

Ivan has to take a deep breath, and close his eyes. By Sua's unimpressed glare, she won't appreciate Ivan throttling her girlfriend. Ivan likes Mizi, anyhow, and he's glad that she's happy, he swears he is, but...

Fuck, what does Ivan has to do to get a gift especially made by Till? Why can't it be him?

"It's... very cute, Mizi-noona. Was the fansign good, then?" He asks, and Mizi talks about everything she got while he and Sua eat and trade glances.

Sua's eyebrows tell him to stop being a coward. His eye roll tells her to mind her business. Her chewing tells him he's useless. His soup-slurping tells her she's a bitch.

They finish breakfast, Mizi goes to clear the dishes, and Sua jabs him in the ribs, making him hiss and recoil, pouting at her in a way he knows makes his snaggletooth especially pronounced.

Like the evil witch she is, Sua kicks his leg.

"Go rest, and message your stalkee. Do you have filming today?"

He shakes his head, no. "We have only a script reading. The footage is being looked over by our fight coordinator." He steps back before she can stab his ribs with her pointy, evil finger again. "And I'm not stalking him!"

"Yeah, sure you aren't." Sua rolls her eyes. "Mizi-ah, let's go! We have a photoshoot!" She calls, already walking away from him. Mizi hurries after her, calling out a goodbye to Ivan, and soon enough they've left.

Ivan feels a little warm, smiling alone in his apartment. Sua cares, in her way, and that's... well. He's grateful. He should break into her apartment one day and leave a gift on her bed.

Ivan ponders between moving to his living room or back to bed, but decides to make some coffee and settle in the living room until he has to be a human being again.

He opens his phone on autopilot, and freezes when he sees Till's picture still open.

He should answer, shouldn't he?

Ivan sits down, thinking about it as he drinks his coffee. It's almost two minutes before he sends something, doing his best not to let his still simmering jealousy show.

You [ 09:23am ]

It's no problem, hyung! Did you like the show?

There. That's a normal reply and not weird right? Ivan can be normal, fuck you Sua.

He relaxes on the couch, turning the TV on into some nature documentary he can just zone out on, wondering if he should get a heat pack for his ribs. He's peacefully watching the seals when his phone vibrates.

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 09:41am ]

Yes! Mizi knows my songs!! I never thought someone like me would even appear on her radar. She was so nice, and we traded phone charms. And then the show was so good! The seats were in a nice place, and Hyuna didn't have to punch anyone. The atmosphere was super nice, and everyone did the fanchants. It was such a good experience.

Thank you so much for the tickets!!

Ivan closes a hand around his mouth, hiding the smile taking over his face. God, Till is so cute. Ivan has never seen him so excited, and it's so endearing. He can only imagine Till's eye sparkling, that emerald green shining, a blush on his face just like in Mizi's picture.

Luckily for him, he doesn't have to keep to his imagination for long.

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 09:42am ]

You know how on Mizi's concerts the fans exchange phone charms, right? She traded one with me! I also got a bunch of cool stuff on the merch stand.

Then he sends a series of pictures, mostly of Till or stuff he got at the concert.

The first one is of what Ivan assumes to be Till's hands, with at least three rings, he never uses them on stream, it must be only to go out, does Till need more rings, these look old and cheap, showing off a bunch of different phone charms, a few of them being the same pink and black one's Mizi has. One of them is separated from the rest by Till's thumb which Ivan wants to lick and looks much more professional; it must be Mizi's.

The second is of Till and Hyuna, faces squished together as they posed in front of a Mizi-sized cardboard cutout advertising the concert. Till has wrapped his jacket around his waist by now, his fan merch t-shirt a bit too big on him, showing off his shoulder that Ivan wants to bite.

The third is of Till on the merch store, one of Mizi's official shirts pulled on above his own. It's pale pink and mint green and about two sizes too big, a cutesy design that contrasts with the still-visible spray paint of his original shirt. Somehow, Till makes the baggy look so good. Does Ivan need to bulk up? Will Till like him more if he can drown in Ivan's shirts?

Another one of Till's hand holding Mizi's lightstick, long fingers wrapped around it as he holds it up against the ceiling. Ivan cannot be blamed for imagining those fingers around his dick, he cannot.

The last one makes Ivan's heart warm, and an entirely wholesome blush rises on his cheeks. It's of Till, taken by Hyuna, lit up by the concert light as he looks at the stage, wonder and admiration and unadulterated contentment on his face. He has a cute blush, green eyes shining against the pale contrast of his hair, a happy grin on his face.

Ivan loves him.

You [ 09:45am ]

I'm really glad hyung liked the show! Hyug looks so cute in those pictures, it makes me happy you had a good time. If hyung lets me, I'll find concert tickets for the next one as well <3

His fingers move on autopilot, and he barely restrains himself from offering to buy more stuff. Till deserves the best, and Ivan is sure Mizi could arrange for him to have a standing ticket on all of her shows. She does the same for Sua, even if Sua can't make it half the time.

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 09:46am ]

Navi!! How many times do I have to say, you don't have to keep buying me things. I'll feel bad, it's not like I'm giving anything in return.

Ivan almost suggests more pictures in return, but he doesn't want to sound creepy. Would it be strange if he says that Till can pay him back by, he doesn't know, sleeping a full 8 hours? Eating more than convenience store food, like what he's said he does on a frequent basis??

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 09:46am ]

How about this. I'll be doing a karaoke stream next week, to celebrate hitting 500k. Send a list of songs you like, and I'll see if I can sing them.

 

Ivan lets out a high-pitched whine, feeling his face heat up and his stomach swoon. Till wants him to choose songs for him! Till trusts Ivan's taste!!

He messages back, saying he'll think about it and send them over tonight. He's too giddy to go back to bed by then, so he heads out to the gym. He can't bulk up in the middle of a movie, but he can try some new exercises, talk to his personal trainer. Till is already shorter than him, it shouldn't be too hard to get a little bigger.

Till's life is going well. He's used to the new house, he's found new inspiration to write and mix more songs ever since Mizi's concert, so he's going live more often, which means his audience has been growing steadily. Dewey got a promotion at work and Isaac is doing an EMT course that will guarantee him a promotion as well.

He's also started chatting more often with Navi, enough so that they are... almost friends? He doesn't want to assume, but Navi is always so happy to talk about anything Till wants that the conversation flows easily. Navi especially likes to know what Till is eating, all the boring details that Till finds himself... eager to share. Till has never been overly chatty, and idle conversation is awkward, but somehow Navi shows so much interest in what he has to say that Till finds himself invested in expressing himself more, in looking for things to talk about.

Navi likes knowing what Till thinks of the weather, and actively engages with him over which brand of ramyeon is better. Somehow, they can get into discussions over the most innocuous thing, and end up discussing music and lyrics and mixing for hours on end.

They have an ongoing discussion about the use of English in songs, which frequently comes back up whenever one of them thinks of another argument, and also an untold pact of sending animal pictures to each other; Till sends pictures of any dog he sees on the street, because Navi said it's his favorite animal even if he can't have one, and Navi sends back cat pictures, since his sister has one and cat pictures are easier than snake ones, which is Till's favorite animal.

Till feels... warm, about it. He's never had many friends, being a lone wolf throughout his school years; he was always in detention, or going directly home after school. He'd always had a temper, something that only really cooled after he left school and was allowed to focus on music. Dewey was his brother, not his friend, and Hyuna was more of an acquaintance than a close friendship.

Till also felt. Guilty, maybe? About the amount of money Navi kept spending on him. He wasn't a friendship expert, but he was pretty sure friends didn't send you almost 50$ dollars when you complained about picking between ramyeon and tteokbokki and told you to pick both.

(Till knew it was a mistake to migrate over from texting to Kakaotalk, since now Navi could send him money directly through that. But he also had to admit the amount of stickers Navi used was beyond cute.)

Navi had also sent him some other gifts, beyond the spontaneous kakaopay transfers and normal stream donations; he's sent Till a collection of rings after bothering Till for a week straight to give him his ring size, a comfy sweater that Till didn't take off for a week due to how soft it was, and so on.

Till felt a weird tingling feeling on his stomach, a blush taking over his face whenever Navi sent him anything. He's normally fine ignoring it after a token protest, too practical to actually deny money.

He thinks he should feel bad about it, or something. Dewey told him, a few weeks into his streaming career, that he'd feel awful about getting so much money and not giving it back. Till thinks it's an exchange; he streams and people give him money for entertaining them. For a little while, the same applied to Navi. Why should he care if someone wasted their money on Till? He didn't think gacha companies were at fault for people's spending habits.

That was until they started texting. That was until Navi stopped being just a name on the screen and became a person who liked dogs, did spicy challenges for fun and had strong opinions about the conservation of endangered animals.

Till thought he might start to feel guilty, then, or at least want to pay Navi back somehow.

Instead what he gets is a warmth throughout his chest and an entirely undignified urge to squirm in place. He likes it when Navi spends money on the most mundane things, when Navi tells him to get himself some food. When Navi sends him money with instructions to get something specific Till scrambles to get it, and enjoys the treat with red cheeks and an unknown tightness in his chest.

He doesn't get it, and he's too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone else.

(Reviewing the memory, later on, will show Till the following; the weird warmth, the urge to squirm, it is arousal. Till likes it a lot, when Navi gives him things and tells him what to do with it. He feels spoiled and taken care of and confusedly horny about it all.)

He's doing his best not to care much about it, but his weeks-long wave of good luck seems to have run dry, because he ended up sick some two days ago. He's had to cancel three streams already, and is miserable enough he's debating actually going to a doctor about it.

Luckily for him, he's not coughing or nauseous, which are his least favorite symptoms. He is congested and his nose is running all the time, and he does feel feverish, but there's not much he can do about that except sleep it off.

He's currently huddled into his couch, slowly eating the samgyetang Isaac made for him and watching a show Hyuna recommended. It's a simple, no-thoughts-necessary show; the female MC is a former yakuza member that's trying to leave her past behind and live as a teacher, and the two competing love interests are a big executive type who has a child on the school and is an ass to her but is able to afford a pretty luxurious life as long as she goes along with his plans, or a old member of the Yakuza who fell in love with her when he was a child and is now reforming himself to be able to stand besides her "in the light", as he put it.

Till is cheering on the yakuza guy, mostly because he's a lot sweeter than the asshole executive.

He's also live-blogging to Navi, who has been hovering so badly that Till gave up and allowed the other to get his actual address so Navi can buy him some soup and energy drinks. He thinks he'll regret it later, but he's not complaining right now, when Navi is making sure he has food delivered for every meal and also all the necessary medication.

You [ 05:47pm ]

Oh look, the asshole is going on a business trip. Maybe we'll get some good scenes with the yakuza guy now.

Navi [ 05:47pm ]

You're really invested into this, aren't you? What do you even like in this character?

You [ 05:48pm ]

He's just so much better than the asshole. I don't get why girls would ever go for someone who's so rude to them.

Till huffs, looking up at the TV as the in-between episode extra starts. They're always funny, showing the behind the scenes and some interviews with the actors. He likes the main actress well enough, and by what he saw the actor for the asshole is a well-established star that he had no idea existed until now.

Well, the same can be said of the younger yakuza guy. His actor, someone named Ivan, is talking about how he prepared for the role, and Till can't help but be interested. The asshole guy only talked about his physical conditioning and diet, but Ivan is talking about how he talked things over with the director, watched former-yakuza interviews, and did his best to research about the motivations of his character.

He's also very handsome, in an endearing way, and Till can't help agreeing with the interviewer when she tells Ivan his fans will love the role, and that seeing him do such an earnest character will get all the girls swooning.

You [ 05:48pm ]

Also, seeing the interviews, this Ivan person is just a lot better than the other actor. He cares a lot more about his character, which I think is way more important than how you look.

The interview ends, and Till decides to send another comment before getting up to fetch more tissues for his nose.

You [ 5:48pm ]

I bet Ivan would look cute doing aegyo. He's got the face for it, at least. Though I don't know if actors do that, I've only seen Idols do it on command.

Message sent, Till puts his phone to the side and gathers his little mountain of tissues and shuffles to the trash can, dumping them before refilling his water bottle – a gift from Navi; it's a sturdy thermos that keeps his water cold for hours, and can keep tea warm for far longer than even a teacandle could – and getting a new box before snuggling up again.

Navi still hasn't answered.

He frowns. He knows Navi can be busy, he definitely has other things to do rather than keep Till company, but he usually sends a BRB text if he'll be away from his phone for more than a minute.

He's still a little sick, and fervish, and miserable, so he doesn't think too hard about it and messages Navi again.

You [ 05:50pm ]

Navi?

Navi [ 05:51pm ]

Sorry, hyung. I just got surprised. My name is Ivan as well.

Till makes a little surprised noise. Ivan isn't that common of a name. What are the odds?

You [ 05:51pm ]

Wow, it must be weird to share names with someone famous.

Navi answers quickly, but with far poorer grammar than what Till is used to.

Navi [ 05:52pm ]

haha yeah well, I got used to it. do you like Ivan?

You [ 05:53pm ]

I haven't seen much besides this series, he seems pretty good. Did you have any recommendations?

Navi – or, well, Ivan. Till quickly goes to change his contact name before he forgets – takes some more time to answer, and Till decides he must be busy, so he puts the show back on, doing his best not to sneeze into his soup. It's only as he's almost napping that he gets a text.

Ivan [ 05:52pm ]

"Creating Heaven", "So long, not enough" and "Kamera" are tolerable, but hyung should watch some more and tell me what's your favorites!

Till is too sleepy to type, so he just takes a picture of himself giving thumbs up and snuggles back on his couch, Ivan's soothing voice talking with the MC lulling him to a nice, dreamless sleep.

Ivan's life is going so well he's halfway worried about when the other shoe is about to drop.

He's wrapped up the recording for his latest movie, and already has something else lined up that only starts filming in about two months; the drama in question doesn't require any physical conditioning besides his usual routine, so all he's doing is reading the script, texting the director and studying for the role.

Outside the occasional interview and modeling gigs, he's practically on vacation.

This means he has more than enough time to think, which he does try to avoid at the best of times. Ivan's brain likes to come up with a frankly absurd amount of shit for him to mull over and have nightmares about; he much prefers working until he can't anymore, thank you very much.

He gets a reprise from his brain telling him that he should definitely stick his hand on the blender while he makes a smoothie by Till's texts, which brightens his day. Till and him have been texting more, which delights him beyond words; at first Ivan though things would slow down after Till talked about the concert, but somehow they started texting more. Till seemed to enjoy telling Ivan things, they got along.

Till also now knew who he was, which was a thrill all on itself, but also filled Ivan with anxiety. He wanted to hear what Till thought of his acting, in detail, but he didn't want to sound desperate. Also, last time Ivan asked for detailed critique, Till asked if Ivan had a crush on Ivan-the-actor, which was ironic on so many levels Ivan shut up about it for two days straight.

Ivan even went and asked Mizi to teach him how to do aegyo, which she was delighted to do. Sua laughed at his face and fake-vomited about seven times over the course of the evening, only slightly mollified because Ivan had bought a bottle of brandy as a bribe.

(They spent the evening like that; drinking hot chocolate with brandy, laughing and doing silly faces and poses at each other. No cameras, no managers, just the three of them laying on the couch, piled together as they played videos of other celebrities and ranked how cringe their aegyo was.

He watched as Sua and Mizi made doe-eyes at each other, holding hands and kissing cheeks, free to act as they'd like outside the spotlight. They loved each other, and it made Ivan so happy, and also filled him with so much longing his chest hurt.)

He goes back to his apartment, alone, and he knows, he knows it's not normal that his first instinct is to put one of Till's VODs on. He knows it's actually a little bit pathetic, but... who he's going to talk to? His sister? The only other person he's mildly close to is Luka, who works on the same agency as him.

He thinks he might need a therapist, but he knows the scandal that will come if it ever gets out that a famous actor needs therapy, nevermind what his father will say.

Ivan sighs, putting on some other documentary and thinks on what to do. He's still a little buzzed, so reading his script is a no-go. He checks his phone, and his last message is to Till, wishing him good luck since Till said he'd be cooking for his brother and his boyfriend today.

He opens his naver app and ends up on his shopping cart for one of his newest sprees; it's full of soft pillows, throw blankets and even a weighted one. Ivan's has been spending so much time on his house he's decided to go on a spree and buy a mountain of soft things for his living room.

(Because Till likes soft things.)

Ivan frowns. He's had too much time alone this past week, and with his brain free of work to focus on, he's had to actually... think about everything he's doing. About his last movies, about his habits, about what he's eating, about his relationship to Sua, about his dad, about his empty house, about his clothes, about his lack of hobbies...

And about what he's doing with Till.

He had... no problem just sending money to an artist he supported, and had 0 worries about sending him the gifts. The anonymity of the internet gave him some... distance, he supposes. He can put Till on this sort of pedestal, and watch his streams in peace and also jerk off without worrying, because Till doesn't know him.

But now he has all these pictures of Till doing everything from setting up his new keyboard (that Ivan recommended) to sleepily giving the camera a thumbs up as he gets ready to buy breakfast (that Ivan paid for).

Now Till is a person, and they talk, and... Ivan doesn't know how to feel about it.

(He's lying, he knows how to feel about it; guilty.

He remembers his father, so so much bigger than Ivan, yelling about how he paid for Ivan's food, his housing, his school, his clothes. How Ivan owned everything he had to him, and so he should just shut up, go to the studio, and use his pretty face to make the man some money back.

He remembers Sua's mom barging into the house to scream some more with their Father, about how dare he put so little money on her card, does he want the media to know about his affair?. Ivan knew to run to the kitchen and squirrel away any packaged food he could, because for the foreseeable future he wouldn't be getting any decent meals, his allocated "food money" going to covering up his whole existence from the media.)

He's pulled away from his thoughts by a text from Sua.

WITCH [ 11:55pm ]

Ivan-ah, can you talk

Ivan frowns. He left their house... – he has to check the watch, four hours ago, shit, he needs dinner – ... four hours ago, which means she almost certainly doesn't have anything important to tell him.

You [ 11:55pm ]

what is it

WITCH [ 11:56pm ]

Is that how you speak with your noona?? Be more respectful.

Anyway, Mizi just thought about it after you left, so she asked me to ask you. Do you think it would be a good idea, if she contacted Till for a collab? She's really been humming that one song, and wanted to see if he'd want to be with her on a cover.

Ivan's breaths catches.

Mizi making an official cover of 'Till The End would possibly drive Till insane. He already likes her so much, coming into the studio to actually work with her, outside the lights of the cameras? He'd be head-over-heels.

He feels a little sick, over the possibility that Mizi will spend time with Till, that they will get along and have fun together. Then he feels sick over that though, because what the hell?? Ivan is not Till's keeper. Till doesn't owe anything to Ivan, not his time or friendship or any kind of relationship.

Ivan will not be like his father. He likes spending money on Till, and making Till happy. Till doesn't need to pay Ivan back in any way. He just wants to make Till happy.

He keeps repeating that in his head as he answers.

You [ 01:02am ]

I think its a great idea. Here, Till has an official email for sponsors and stuff, Mizi should get her manager to send the details over.

He sends the email, closes his phone, and goes to the gym. He feels bad over it all, and worse because he feels bad. He knows his brain won't shut up for the foreseeable future, so he might as well tire himself enough he can get some sleep.

Over the next few days, Mizi updates him on the ongoings of the cover under the impression that he'll want to know anything that has Till's name on it. He does not tell her to stop.

(He does, however, step back on his frequent messaging and donating. He feels bad about it, but he doesn't want to distract Till, or accidentally hint at something, so he's re-using some old pictures he took on a job last year to show Till that he's currently in Japan for a job.)

Till, surprisingly, doesn't comment on anything, even if he's clearly excited about something. Even normal chatters are picking up on it.

> fiieldofroses: till, you look so happy today! did anything happen?

> TillStepOnMe: oooh please god let it be a photoshoot

> woonie: @Till's Merch Overlord insider info??

> Till's Merch Overlord: no comment

Ivan just so happens to know there is new merch coming; it just isn't being made by Till's usual artist, but by Mizi's team. As far as he knows, there’s a keychain and a t-shirt with the song's cover on it.

(Till and Mizi will do a photoshoot together, sometime next week. He knows because Mizi has been implementing her wardrobe with punk-rock outfits, and even asked for one of Ivan's shirts, since the baggy and comfy look fits Till's aesthetic, and she wants to do things his way.)

On-screen, Till shakes his head.

"There is something new coming out soon, but I'm still working on it, so I don't have any sneak-peeks for you guys, sorry."

> KIRBY ☑ : that's fine oppa, take your time!

> LUKAmysavior: crossing my fingers for a new single

> bulletcase: ok y'all what are the guesses

> hyunhyun-ssi: maybe a new tattoo??

> TillStepOnMe: IF IT'S A NEW TATTOO I WILL SIMPLY KMS

Ivan shakes his head, amused. It'll definitely be a surprise, but probably nothing they can guess at. It really is such a step-up opportunity for Till.

> NAVI (TILL'S ATM) DONATED $50: I hope Hyung has a good time with whatever it is!

There, that's not suspicious or leading, and still shows Till and his usual chatters that Ivan is being his normal, simp self.

(Ivan ignores the heat that rises on his stomach at Till's smile when he reads the donation, a smile that's entirely too fond, and personal, and for Ivan. He has to bite his lip to contain himself, god he loves him so much.)

"I'm having a good time, definitely. I think you guys will really like it!"

The following weeks are... weird. Ivan keeps getting updates from Mizi, spends far too much time with his own thoughts since he's trying to dial back his Till-texting habits, and binges maybe all documentaries about deep-sea animals he's been able to find. Seriously. He broadened up to deep-sea ecosystems, which he's not so sure how he feels about yet.

(He feels the itch to go on a ramble about it to Till. Till's the only person who's ever actually asked Ivan what he likes to watch, and didn't make fun of him for watching so many documentaries; he actually asked what Ivan's favorite wild animal was, and even asked for recommendations, and then watched them, coming back to tell Ivan that he though the prairie dog really was the best part of it.)

Luckily, his agent notices how unsettled he is and books him a new commercial for a clothing brand – where he can train his aegyo! He can't wait for it to hit the TVs to see what Till has to say – so he's slowly getting back to a stable mental state.

(Meaning, he's working enough that his brain stopped calling him a disgusting stalker and excuse of a person for being sad because Till will meet Mizi.)

That is, until Mizi messages him one morning saying she's heading to the studio for their first recording, and does he know what Till likes to drink?

Of course he does, Till likes a Caramel Frappucino, whole milk, added chai, white chocolate mocha sauce and chocolate malt powder. He also likes the choc chips cookies.

Mizi thanks him, sends a selfie with Till's order as well as her own (iced peach green tea with strawberry puree) and a kissy face.

He gets no message from Till.

He goes about his day, does a photoshoot, and doesn't get any new notifications until Till sends him a message.

MY UNIVERSE 💖 [ 07:44pm ]

Can I call you? We need to talk.