Chapter Text
Unspoken
Chapter 1
Memories
Kanan was in his room packing his bag quietly. Life in the Ghost had become lively and at times quite challenging with the addition of Ezra, his time became dedicated to the training of his Padawan and he hardly had any time for himself. He needed this trip away for multiple reasons. It was the birthday of his fallen master Depa Billaba who had died during Order 66 while protecting him. Honoring the fallen was not a luxury one had during times of war, but no matter where he was or what he was doing he always tried to take time and go be alone to honor her, and most of the time he was able to go. But this trip was even more important, it was the first time he would be going to visit her grave when he had his own apprentice. He felt now more than ever that he needed her guidance and wisdom and patience. His concentration was interrupted by a loud clang and voices of commotion out in the hall. He let out a sigh, he was really looking forward to this break.
"Damn it Chopper, you did that on purpose!" Ezra was yelling, Chopper laughed and taunted him. Ezra threw a wrench at him but Chopper whirled aside at the last moment, causing it to hit Zeb with a loud clang.
"Hey! What'd you do that for!?" He growled, rubbing the sore spot.
"I was aiming for Chopper, he moved at the last moment!" Ezra barked back. Chopper laughed and spun his arms in victory, ramming into Ezra's knee, causing him to cry out and fall down. "Ouch! Get back here!"
"Serves you right." Zeb snarled.
"It's not my fault! Chopper tricked me, he said there was a bolt on one of the pipes that was stuck and he needed my help, when I opened it, it blasted me in the face with a ton of steam!"
"Oh please, that's your own fault for falling for that. Since when has Chopper ever asked you for help?"
"Well excuse me for believing him, thought he might actually be serious for once. What if I ignored him and it was a real emergency and I got in trouble with Hera?"
"Unlikely. One day he's gonna trick you into falling out an open hatch, and nobody will be there to catch you when you fall."
"Well lucky for me a loth cat has 9 lives."
"Wait, what?" Zeb turned up his nose in confusion. "Is that some sort of Lothali saying?"
"Err, yeah I guess it is." Ezra laughed, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, so much for a smart comeback.
"Hey." Sabine walked into the room. "What's going on in here? I could hear all your yelling from my room, saw Chopper laughing and celebrating to himself so I figured he got the better of you guys again."
"How is a damn rust bucket smarter than me?" Ezra grumbled.
"Most things are smarter than you, you've got the brain of a Mynock." Zeb taunted.
"Awww don't insult poor Mynocks." Sabine leaned against Ezra's shoulder playfully.
"At least I don't smell like Bantha dung." Ezra snorted.
"Know what counteracts the smell of Bantha dung?" Zeb raised an eyebrow.
"No, what."
Zeb raised a fist, "A punch to the face!" He lunged forward, causing Ezra to jump back and hide behind Sabine.
"OK guys, time out." Sabine put up her hands to end the boys play fighting. "I came in here to tell you something anyway."
"What is it, you finally came to your senses and wanted to ask me out on a date?" Ezra tried his hardest to make a sexy pose that only looked pathetically laughable at best.
"Hardly." Sabine smirked, rolling her eyes. "Kanan's going to be leaving for a while."
"What, why?" Ezra's expression changed to one of concern.
"Every cycle he goes off on his own for a bit on the anniversary of his master's birth to go and honor her, so he's going to be away for a while."
"It's already that time again eh? What about missions then?" Zeb asked.
"Hera said we would only be doing side work in the meantime, if anything urgent came up we would need to contact him, but hopefully that doesn't happen. He needs some time away from this guy." Sabine motioned towards Ezra who was looking a little forlorn at the thought of his master being away from him for such a long time.
"You know...." Zeb rubbed his chin, wearing a devilish grin. "With Kanan away we can have a little bit of fun."
"Oh!" Sabine raised an eyebrow. "Did you have anything in mind?"
"Not off the top of my head, let's see where we'll be heading and look what we can find."
"Hey, we haven't been able to check out any local restaurants for a while. Maybe we could check out a new hot spot?" Ezra spoke up, his mouth watering at the thought.
"Hey yeah, you're right!" Sabine perked up. "That's a great idea to start, we'll check out where we're heading first and see what places we can find, maybe we can discover somewhere interesting with some unique food."
"Oh yeah!" Zeb patted his stomach. "Been a bit since we've been able to explore with our pallets. Hopefully we land someplace with flavor."
The trio's planning was cut short as Kanan and Hera walked into the room, "Well I guess I'll be heading out now."
"I can't believe it's already been a year." Hera hugged him. "I'm going to miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too." Kanan turned to Ezra. "While I'm gone I want you to keep up on your training ok?"
"Yes master." Ezra nodded, looking a little sullen.
Kanan smiled softly at him, "Don't worry, everything's gonna be ok. I won't be gone long."
"I know, I still feel bad tho." Ezra muttered. Kanan put a hand on him reassuringly.
"And you both." Kanan pointed 2 fingers at Zeb and Sabine. "Stay out of trouble, you hear?"
"Yes Kanan." They both looked at each other playfully, the plan already forming in the back of their minds. Kanan hoisted his bag over his shoulder and made his way towards the Phantom.
"Call me if you need anything." Kanan turned to Hera.
"I will, love. Have a safe trip." Hera hugged him again, he held her tightly. She knew how important these trips were to him, he hoped she knew how hard these trips were on him to leave her. They looked into each others eyes and leaned in for a kiss. They released each other and Kanan got into the Phantom. Hera waved as he departed, "May the Force be with you."
Kanan headed towards the planet Chalacta, the home world where his master had been born. Even though she had been slaughtered on Kaller, Kanan refused to have that planet be her resting place with the haunting memory of order 66 hanging over the battle field. He made a humble memorial to her in the wilderness away from where anyone could find, he knew she would much rather have her grave be there than where the clones had betrayed and murdered her and countless other Jedi. He could only hope his decision brought her some peace. As he reached the secret location of her grave site he looked around, the scene was peaceful, there was a gentle breeze and some faint calm chirps. He took in a deep breath and let out a sigh, he hadn't realized how much he needed this. He knelt down before the marker he had made for her, it was surrounded by green grass and shaded by trees. He set down the flowers he brought and closed his eyes.
"Hello master. I can't believe it's already been a year since I was last here. So much has changed in this past year. I don't know if you've known, but, well, this may come as a shock to you, but, I took on an apprentice." He chuckled to himself, rubbing his head awkwardly. "Yup, little Caleb actually has a Padawan, can you believe it?" He smirked. "Honestly never thought I would be a master. I don't know how you put up with me all those years. I'm sorry if I was ever difficult." He let out a sad sigh. "I wish you could meet him, there would be so much you could teach him. There's still so much more I could learn from you..... oh who am I kidding, I have no idea what I'm doing!" He let out a frustrated sigh, slumping his shoulders. "I spent years running from myself. Ezra's a teenager, it's been tough, trying to train a new apprentice at that age is almost unheard of, and I can see why." He closed his eyes and hung his head. "I only want to make you proud, to train him and teach him as best I can, but I'm so different now. What if I fail, what if I can't train him and he ends up running just like I did?" He looked up at the sky, it was peaceful and clear blue. He let out a deep sad sigh. "I miss you master."