Work Text:
The sound of ZEROBASEONE’s new title track, Crush, boomed through the warehouse they were filming in as their sneakers squeaked on the ground for another take of the chorus. The space was big, echoey and dark despite the light outside. The whole music video was supposed to have the vibe of being at night, so they’d blacked out all the windows. Whenever Matthew had stepped outside in the past few hours it was jarring, like walking out of a dark movie theater during the day.
They’d settled into a rhythm of filming as the hours passed, rinse-repeat until everything was just right with little breaks to monitor or be touched up by hair and makeup. It was sort of a miracle, Matthew thought, that they were able to stitch these music videos together into these complicated, cohesive things. In the moment, a lot of the shots felt so separate from each other. It was hard to visualize how it would all come together.
Even during breaks between filming, there were still cameras on the members to record behind the scenes footage. Straight from one kind of performance to another. It wasn’t like anything was totally fake, it was just… purposeful. Matthew wanted to put his best foot forward, make sure he was giving the fans something they’d enjoy watching. The other members did it, too. Yujin had done some silly tricks in the dressing room while Gunwook danced to EXO in the stairwell.
Gunwook was doing great, just in general. He had this moment in the choreography where he came from the middle of their formation up to the center in this cool spinning motion, and they were having him stare right into the camera as he did it. It was cool as fuck, but Matthew couldn’t help finding the idea of Gunwook as some intimidating tough guy a little amusing. It’s not like Matthew couldn’t take him seriously, Gunwook was quite strong- he was just such a sweetheart.
They wrapped another take and the crew called for a short break to let everyone have a little time to reset. Hanbin went off to grab some water while one of the makeup Noonas went over to Taerae with a big brush. Matthew noticed Gunwook had sat down a bit off to the side from the main crowd, so he made his way over there.
“Hey!” Matthew said as he looked around for another chair to join Gunwook.
“Hi,” Gunwook greeted back.
“Gosh, I wanna sit somewhere too…” Matthew looked around, noticing there weren’t really any chairs nearby. He looked back at Gunwook, then raised one eyebrow as he half-jokingly gestured to Gunwook’s lap.
“Be my guest.” Gunwook said, shifting to open his lap up a bit more.
Matthew debated laughing it off, but then thought ah, fuck it and walked closer, before sitting down with a content sigh. It was nice to rest for a moment, to give his body a break. Gunwook was comfortable. He was much bigger than Matthew, too, in stature and frame, so cuddling up near him just felt so safe, so warm.
“You’re looking really good out there.” Matthew said, looking over at Gunwook.
“Really?” Gunwook asked, whisper-yelling Crushhhh the same way it sounded in the song. His nose wrinkled up a little as he did it, cute.
“Mhm,” Matthew said as he noticed a camera guy making his way towards them.
It wasn’t one of the music video guys, this was someone filming behind the scenes stuff. He waved to them, then gestured to his camera, and Gunwook gave him the thumbs up to come over and film something.
“I’m like a pro fighter in the new music video.” Gunwook smiled into the camera as it trained on him.
Matthew hummed in agreement, miming a punch.
“Did you ever do a fighting sport? Like, martial arts, or kickboxing?” Gunwook asked Matthew.
“Eh, a little, but my main thing has always been weightlifting.” Matthew answered. He was definitely looking at Gunwook’s eyes, and not constantly fighting the impulse to let his eyes wander to the man’s lips.
“Hm, makes sense. Your punch is so soft,” Gunwook said, wrapping his hand around Matthew’s ( around around, like, covering it almost entirely), “like cotton candy.”
“Yeah but, my thighs are no joke. Just look at these pants, they’re about to burst.” Matthew was exaggerating, but he wasn’t lying- he did have nice legs.
“Really? They seem kind of loose there, ey?” Gunwook pointed towards Matthew’s leg, egging him on.
“No way,” Matthew said as he stood up, “They’re a lot stronger than they look at first.” He bent down a little to show off the muscle definition. It was all very tongue in cheek, oh, funny ha-ha, look how strong I am, but Matthew would be lying if he said his stomach didn’t do a little flip when Gunwook reached over and grabbed his thigh, slapping it a few times for good measure.
He felt those same butterflies again when Gunwook decided their bit was done and gently tugged at Matthew’s thigh, guiding Matthew back into his lap like it was nothing.
“Nobody’s physique can match up to Gunwook’s, though,” Matthew said as he sat back down, “I think if he hit me, it’d send me to another dimension.”
Gunwook laughed at the compliment, his gummy smile on full display. God, what the fuck. Matthew felt so lame at just how much it affected him. The fucked up thing was Gunwook was so normal about it all. He didn’t even blink. He wasn’t blushing, wasn’t flustered. He was either the smoothest man Matthew had ever met or just completely unaware.
Promotions were a whirlwind. Their comeback was released and it did pretty well, but Matthew noticed a bit more… discussion than their debut. That was fine, though, evidently most people stuck around, and while the few weeks after their release were hectic and exhausting, it felt good. It was all more familiar now, but still very new. It flew by faster. Before he knew it, they were on the tail end of it all, about to hit a brief window of relative downtime before picking right back up for awards season.
Now that felt different. More red carpets, more sitting politely in audiences with god knows how many cameras pointed at them. More travel too, and all that comes with that. Airport fashion, hoping there’s good enough crowd control that the fans won’t cause a stampede, hotels, vlogs, all of it.
Next up they were going to the Philippines, which everyone was very excited about because of the weather. Finally, warm weather after spending a frigid December in Korea. After their plane ride and two fansite-filled airport visits (which was something Matthew didn’t think he’d ever get used to, it was just so wild how that many people would line up in an airport, for hours sometimes, just to see a glimpse of his group heading to security), they’d been whisked away to their hotel for a precious window of downtime. They had that evening to enjoy their time in the Philippines a little, but tomorrow they had the Asia Artist Awards and then it was right back to Korea for KBS.
Matthew and Gunwook were rooming together, randomly assigned. They didn’t talk much once they got to their room. Matthew crashed almost immediately and took a nice long nap, and when he awoke Gunwook wasn’t anywhere he could see. He’s probably nearby, Matthew figured as he reached for his phone.
His instagram explore page was the usual mindless entertainment. People playing with slime, some guy making elaborate edible sculptures out of chocolate, a few anime edits, and of course, some ZB1 fan stuff. It was such a big part of his life, of course it was going to find its way into his social media algorithms. It’s not like he was seeking anything out- okay, maybe a little- but it wasn’t in a self absorbed way or anything. Most of it wasn’t even him. A lot was just of Gunwook, honestly.
Gunwook was like, really good at fansign flirting. He had this whole “look, but don’t touch” forbidden fruit thing that people went absolutely crazy for and, honestly, Matthew didn’t blame them. He knew the way Gunwook looked at Matth- fans and told them all the things they wanted to hear until they got all flustered. And sure, yeah, maybe he had a few saved in the bookmarks of the burner accounts he used to snoop on ZB1’s stan communities. It was market research, y’know? He had to know what the fans were up to. For business reasons.
(Okay, and maybe some self indulgent reasons too).
The bathroom door opened and Gunwook stepped out into the rest of their hotel room. He acknowledged Matthew with a quick “Hey,” before heading over to his side of the room.
“What’re you doing?” Gunwook asked.
“Not much. Instagram.” Matthew sighed. He kept scrolling, then let out a little nose laugh when a video of Gunwook came up in full idol-boyfriend mode with a fan.
“Hm?” Gunwook looked over, curious.
Matthew turned to show his phone to Gunwook, who immediately put a hand up to his face as he turned a little pink in embarrassment.
“What? You’re hot, y’know.” Matthew teased with a slight smile.
“ Hyung, stop it!” Gunwook whined playfully.
“Why? Embarrassed?”
“No, it’s just,” Gunwook ran a hand through his hair, “it’s different when you look at that stuff. It’s weird.”
“What about it?” Matthew sat up a little as he asked.
“Just is. It’s like- it makes me see what I look like from an outside perspective, when it’s you.”
Matthew nodded in understanding. Sometimes it was just awkward to feel perceived in a way you’re not used to.
“Why d’you do it?” Matthew asked. The video was still looping, muted on his phone screen. He was asking about fan interactions, obviously. Definitely nothing else. Not about them.
“Do what? The fanservice stuff?” Gunwook replied as he went over to his luggage and started rifling through it.
“Yeah but like, I mean I know why you do that, all of us do, but like, specifically paying into the boyfriend thing so much because you like, y’know, you kind of do that more than the other members I think.” God, what am I saying? Matthew thought as he spoke.
“Do I?” Gunwook paused, “Well, sorta, yeah. I dunno. It’s just…” He considered his words, “This might sound weird, but it’s like a game, almost. It’s fun. I know the fans like it and I mean, I don’t know these people, I don’t really think of them that way obviously, but… I think I just like that they like me.”
“Not weird at all. You think I don’t like attention? I’m an idol. Getting peoples’ attention is, like, the whole job.” Do you just like that I like you? Do you even know?
“Yeah, guess so,” Gunwook let out a soft laugh under his breath as he pulled a phone charger from his bag, “Why’d you ask?”
“Dunno. I was just curious, I guess. I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. Fanservice.”
“Hm? Something happen?” Gunwook asked.
You. “No, not really. Just… thinking.”
Matthew was very ready to move on from this topic now. He went back on his phone, closed Instagram, opened Twitter for maybe two seconds, decided that was boring and then opened Instagram again. When that didn’t work either, he let his arms flop down to his sides and ended up looking over to where his half unpacked luggage still sat in the corner. He needed to talk about something. Well, technically he didn’t, but for his own sanity he needed to move the conversation along.
Then, he saw something peeking out from the corners of his luggage, and he got an idea.
“Do you wanna go swimming?”
The chill of water rushed over Matthew, roaring in his ears as he jumped in the pool. He heard a muffled whooshing sound somewhere to his left as Gunwook followed suit. When he surfaced, Gunwook was doing the same, smoothing his hair back as he blinked water from his eyes.
“Shit, this is nice.” Gunwook said with a slight smile on his face as he floated on his back.
“I know, right?” I haven’t been swimming in forever”
“Almost feels like vacation.”
Matthew sighed in agreement. Gosh, wouldn’t that be nice. A real vacation. Don’t get him wrong, Matthew loved that his group was successful, but it was just a metric shit ton of work. The most rewarding work he’d ever done, but he still needed a break from time to time. Like here, swimming around in leisurely circles as the water soothed his well worked muscles.
“It’s snowing back home. Could you imagine snow here?” Matthew said, making his way over to Gunwook.
“No way.” Gunwook said with a sigh. He floated on his back, eyes closed, totally calm.
Matthew felt his foot accidentally brush Gunwook’s leg, who immediately jerked away with a small yelp.
“Whoops,” Matthew said.
Gunwook responded with an exaggerated shiver as he bobbed up and down in the water.
“What, was it really that bad?” Matthew asked. He’d known Gunwook was ticklish, but he honestly didn’t get why some people had such strong reactions to stuff like that.
“What do you mean ‘was it really’- dude-” Gunwook cut himself off to gently sweep his own foot along Matthew’s calf.
He didn’t move.
“Really? Nothing?” Gunwook asked.
“What? I’m not ticklish.”
“It’s different ‘cause you were expecting it. It needs to be a surprise, then it’s worse.” Gunwook said.
“Oh, really?” Matthew spoke as he slowly inched forward.
Gunwook picked up on it and started floating backwards with a little apprehension, though not enough to keep Matthew from pouncing.
“Agh!” Gunwook yelped playfully as Matthew chased behind him.
The pair quickly devolved into a mess of splashing and giggles as Gunwook twisted, looking for a way to escape Matthew. It was his mission now to make the younger boy squirm, until he found that little sensitive patch by his ribs that sent him jerking away from Matthew with a shriek and reeling around until they were face to face, both breathing a little heavy and so, so close. Matthew couldn’t help but notice the little water droplets shining across Gunwook’s skin, his cheeks, nose, his slightly parted mouth, the slight pink flush across his face- shit.
Matthew pushed himself away and didn’t think about it. He wasn’t thinking about it. He wasn’t.
After a moment of treading water, he swam over to the chairs they’d put their stuff down on earlier.
“You all done?” Gunwook asked.
“No,” Matthew said as he pushed himself out of the water, “selfies?”
“Ah, good idea.” Gunwook responded, then headed over as well.
Matthew grabbed his phone, fixed his hair in the camera. He was careful to keep it dry as he went over to the pool. This was fine. Taking pictures was quick and safe. Something to remind them of why they were here. A work trip. This is just working.
Matthew showered first when they got back to their room. Gunwook went not long after, and now he was walking back out in his towel. Matthew politely averted his gaze as Gunwook put on some sweats.
“D’you wanna get room service?” He asked. It was maybe a little early to eat, but late enough that they may as well.
“Sure, what do they have?”
Gunwook sat down on Matthew’s bed and grabbed the menu from his hand. He read through it, his arm naturally finding its way around Matthew’s waist. They leaned in to each other, operating on instinct more than anything else. Gunwook didn’t seem to be thinking about it much, so Matthew wouldn’t either. This was just normal, fine. He totally wasn’t so focused on every place their bodies were touching that he barely paid attention to Gunwook as he listed off their dinner options.
“So?” Gunwook asked. He was still looking down at the menu.
“Hm?” Matthew hadn’t heard anything before that.
Gunwook turned towards him. Matthew didn’t move back. For the second time that day, they were millimeters apart.
“What did you… want,” Gunwook trailed off.
Usually, Matthew would pull away. They’d laugh this off, like it was nothing, and then move on. They just stayed there, though. Matthew didn’t realize he’d been leaning in until he felt the tentative brush of lips against his.
It wasn’t a kiss. The brush of lips was brief, then it was over. They still didn’t move back, though. They just sat there, millimeters from touching, for what felt like the longest moment of Matthew’s life. He knew it couldn’t have been more than a second or two, long enough for him to think to himself, we shouldn’t do this, and then immediately throw caution to the wind when he felt the warmth of Gunwook’s exhale against his lips.
The gap closed again- whether it was just Matthew moving or the both of them he wasn’t sure. This time, it was a kiss. A real kiss. Oh my god. Matthew just kissed Gunwook. What did I just do?
“Shit, I’m sorry, I-” Matthew stuttered.
“No,” Gunwook tightened his grip on Matthew before he could move away, “Do that again. Please.”
Oh. Okay. Matthew was still processing that this was happening. He’d spent so long convincing himself that this could never happen that none of it seemed real.
“If you want to.” Gunwook added in a whisper, stiff and slightly awkward.
Hearing Gunwook speak again snapped Matthew out of it and back into the moment. How could he think I don’t want this?
“Of course I do,” Matthew sighed as he brought his lips to meet Gunwook’s once again.
Gunwook had no idea what he was doing. He was eager though, and that was hot in its own way, even if he was a little stiff. When Matthew pulled away, he couldn’t help the little smile that spread on his face when Gunwook surged forward a little, chasing contact. Then, after a moment, his eyes fluttered open and his cheeks turned this adorable shade of slightly pink. He sighed as he hid his head in the crook of Matthew’s neck with a small embarrassed laugh.
“Oh my god, I was your first kiss, wasn’t I?” Matthew asked in a low voice, leaning his head against Gunwook’s.
Gunwook nodded against Matthew’s shoulder, still not looking up. Woah, Matthew thought. He’d known that Gunwook hadn’t been kissed before, that he never talked about crushes or anything, but it took a moment for that to process. He just kissed Gunwook, and it was Gunwook’s first.
“Sorry- I, that was,” Gunwook stuttered, his usual suave act completely melted away. His voice vibrated against Matthew’s skin and it made him shiver a little bit.
“Oh, don’t worry, the first one’s always a little awkward,” Matthew said softly as Gunwook moved to look up again.
As Matthew met Gunwook’s big brown eyes, a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. Familiar- but different from usual. There was no tinge of anxiety, no need to push it down. Matthew could just let it grow, spread through him, radiate out of him and fill the gap between him and Gunwook with tension. Good tension. Pure potential energy.
“I wanna try again.” Gunwook asked, earnest.
And who was Matthew to say no?