Work Text:
you told me that you loved me.
said that i’m the most important person in your life, and that you’d hate to lose me.
“Toya?”
Akito…didn’t usually sound like this.
Toya looked up from his book, standing, leaving it abandoned on the bench. “Akito, is something wrong?”
“Wrong? …No, nothing’s wrong.” Akito looked softer, somehow. Different from his usual confident smirk, but fitting nonetheless. “Toya, I need to tell you something.”
“I’m listening.”
“Toya…
I love you.”
…What?
“You—you’re my partner, y’know, and…and I’ve been thinking that I really can’t see a future without you in it. And I just…I don’t know, man. You’re the most important person in my life. I—I just don’t want to lose you.”
i didn’t expect you to say those words to me.
“…Toya?”
…
i didn’t respond to you, but i’m guessing you got my answer with that.
“…Oh…
I see how it is.”
i didn’t know what to say to you, i didn’t know if i loved you the same way you loved me.
He’d felt a certain way for years.
Since middle school, since that first encounter on the street.
Akito, burning bright, shaking up his life so suddenly. Akito, eyes widening as he sang with his heart for the first time on that stage, pulling him into an embrace backstage. Akito, mic in one hand, grinning at the audience and then him, that special smile reserved only for him.
But…
That love was not the same.
so i stood there in silence.
…
“Hey, Toya…”
you said it was fine. i didn’t have to feel the same way.
and i was happy. we could go back to the way things were.
“Listen.” Akito cleared his throat, laughed a little, and everything was fine. “You don’t have to feel the same way. I get it. It was really sudden. I just—I felt like I had to tell you, yeah? I trust you.
You’re my partner.”
Partner.
That word made Toya smile.
Akito was fine. Just a little overwhelmed by emotion all of a sudden, it was fine. And he’d confessed to Toya, too. Trusted Toya.
Life would go back to normal after this. It was fine.
you were happy.
we were going to be fine.
“Akito?”
“Hm?” Was that a tinge of hope?
“Everything’s going to be fine, right? We can go back to the way things were?”
…
“Akito?” Now it was his turn to be quiet.
“Yeah.
…
Everything’s going to be fine.”
but when i came back to the rooftop to come pick you up,
you took me by surprise the second time that day.
“Akito? Are you up here?”
A strange sound?
“Akito? It’s me. Are you—”
Hunched back, head leaned over the railing, face hidden. Was he—
you, who i look up to.
“I want to sing like you someday.”
“Huh? Whaddya mean? You’re great at singing. Don’t stoop down to my level.”
“Don’t say that about yourself. You’re the best singer I know.”
“That’s only ’cause I’m your partner.”
“Yes, but…”
“Are you blushing ?”
“…It’s just that I want to be as passionate as you are. Dedicated. Performing so wholeheartedly. You may be my partner, but you’re my role model. I want to be like you.”
“…”
“Now who’s the one blushing?”
“Oh, come on. Shut up and come here.”
After that, Akito always had his arm around Toya’s shoulder.
you, who were so confident and skilled.
“I got this.”
“Really?” It was a joke. Both of them knew how capable Akito was.
“Yeah, I’m ’boutta torch this other guy. Prepare the roses for when I go out onto the stage to get my award, will ya?”
A light chuckle. “That sounds like something Azusawa and Shiraishi would do.”
“Are you saying you’re not the type to give people flowers?”
“That’s a conversation for another day. Now’s your time to perform. Good luck, partner.”
“You’re always so reassuring, y’know. I sing better when you’re around.”
“…?”
“I’m dedicating this round to you…partner.”
Since then, the word partner has meant something so different from before.
you, who never failed to bring the best out of me.
“Toya, hey, hey. You got this, okay? You need to sit down? Need water?”
“I’m—”
“Shh. Breathe. Okay, um, deep breath in—”
He followed, shakily.
“—And deep breath out.”
“…”
“Are you okay? Seriously, if you don’t want to—”
“No.”
“…Huh?”
“Akito, I can’t let you down.”
“Wait, no, that’s not—Dude, you’re not letting me down if you feel like you can’t handle this. You’ve never performed solo in your life. Calling it quits isn’t ‘letting me down.’”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“…I have to do this.”
“Come on , don’t be stubborn. Here, get up, I’ll help you back—”
“Akito, really, it’s okay.” He stands now, alone.
“…Toya?”
“I…I want to do this for you. You’ve helped me through so much, led me to where I am today. You’ve helped me talk to my father, get him to understand me just a little more. You’ve done so much for me. Now it’s time for me to show you how I’ve improved.”
“… Toya , you can’t just—you can’t just say that…”
“Akito? Are you—?”
“Sorry, dude, I’m fine.” Akito wipes his eyes. “Just a little emotional. You’re the best.”
“I could say the same about you.” A cheer from the audience. “Oh, it’s time for you to go onstage. Show ’em what you’re made of.”
“Yeah.
Thank you, Akito.”
the unwavering you.
“Akito?”
you were crying.
“…Why are you crying?”
Akito looks up, sharp eyes, too many tears. “Shit—Toya. Fuck. I—”
“Akito? Please talk to me.” He rushes to his side. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I just— Fuck . I’m sorry. When you didn’t say anything, I thought—”
and i did that to you.
When you didn’t say anything.
It was Toya. It was him.
He had made Akito cry.
that was the day i first saw you cry,
and that day i knew.
And suddenly he realized.
Akito was crying because Akito loved him. Akito was crying because he wanted Toya’s love. Akito cared about him enough for the rejection to sting, cared enough to not move on.
And Toya knew that he would do the same for Akito. He would cry too, he would sob, rip his heart out if the same had happened to him. He would sit with Akito through every single tear, dry his eyes for him, hold him until the sun set and night fell on just the two of them.
And now he knew,
i fell in love
with you.