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AITA for not telling my boyfriend I shagged his best friend
Yes, yes, I know – the title sounds obviously damning but wait first until you read the story.
Before my boyfriend, James (21 AM) and I (21 OM) got together we hated each other. It didn’t help that in school he always used to pick on me with his idiot best friend. I hated them so much that I took my A-Levels at a different school because I didn’t want to ever see them again and thought that was that.
Unfortunately for me, the university me and my best friend Lily (21 OF) attended happened to be the same university James and his best friend Sirius (21 AM) went to.
Throughout much of our secondary school year James had a crush on Lily and tried to get her to go out with him but she never did because she thought he was cruel and arrogant. I had thought when we saw them that it would be much of the same routine again. But James surprised everyone and apologized to me and had been non-antagonistic since then. It was a weird change, but I didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to graduation. Lily had, over our years in uni, let James and his idiot friends hang out with us to the point that we were a reluctant group of mates now. Much to my chagrin. Even though James had apologized and started acting more pleasantly towards me, Sirius had not. He was still the arrogant prick he always had been, and we were still always at each other’s throats. The night of our graduation party we were all properly sloshed and Sirius and I were arguing as usual. But this time we ended up shagging. The morning after we vowed never to speak of it again and pretend like it never happened.
When I went back to my flat that I shared with Lily, James was waiting on my doorstep. I told him to move but he didn’t. Instead, he took my hands and confessed his feelings for me. I was immediately on guard because it felt like this was some sort of cruel prank and James was back to his old ways. I thought that he had found out somehow that I had a crush on him and was using it to make fun of me. Of course, that wouldn’t make sense since I hadn’t told anyone about my crush, not even Lily, but I didn’t think clearly when I was angry. I told him to bugger off and never talk to Lily or I again and he was confused. He seemed to realize what I thought and told me that it was true, he really did like me. Then he kissed me. I was pathetically weak and let him and as embarrassing as it is to admit we ended up shagging (in my defense I was close to my heat).
We started dating after that, which was a shock to our friend group, especially Lily but she wasn’t upset – more worried about James' intentions. A few weeks into our time as a couple I started feeling unwell to the point where James and Lily both were worried and demanded I go see a doctor. I went to placate them and discovered that I was pregnant.
I was worried since James and I had only been dating for a little while and was sure that this would ruin the relationship. I eventually told him and braced myself for him saying we were going to break up but despite his initial shock – he took it in stride. He hugged me and said that he would support whatever choice I made but implied he wanted to keep the baby, so we did.
We announced it to our friends a little while later and Lily, Remus (21 OM), and Peter (21 BM) congratulated us but Sirius seemed out of it. James thought that it was because Sirius was worried that James would have less time for him once the baby was born. During the party I went to the kitchen to get some drinks and Sirius cornered me there asking if it was his baby. I told him how could it possibly be and then he reminded me about the night we swore not to speak of. I told him that no it wasn’t his baby but he insisted that it could be. He said that “he had me first” so I slapped him and left the kitchen.
Ever since then he had been bothering me: buying me baby stuff, insisting that the baby was likely his and implying that we needed to tell James. I refused because even if the baby was his, which I wouldn’t even consider believing, it would never be his and I would raise it as James and I’s baby.
Unfortunately for me that conversation was overheard by Remus, their spineless little friend. He asked what was going on and I told him it was none of his business and that he better keep his mouth shut.
During the baby shower that James and Lily insisted we throw, I could see Remus looking increasingly stressed. James had noticed too and asked him about it and Remus said it was nothing, just the stress of finding a job after university – something James and Sirius didn’t understand seeing as they were sickeningly wealthy. It was only when Sirius had gifted James and I a red baby blanket did Remus blurt it out.
“Severus and Sirius shagged and the baby could be Sirius'"
Everyone was quiet and I was livid. James asked Remus what the hell he was talking about and Remus said he overheard Sirius and I talking about it. James turned on Sirius and asked him if it was true and he said yes and to let him explain. But he barely got to finish because James started trying to attack him. I yelled over the sounds of their fighting that it was before we got together and that it didn’t mean anything and that I didn’t even like Sirius. But James wouldn’t hear it, after giving Sirius a black eye he left the party.
He hasn’t returned my calls, spoken to Sirius, or been back to the flat he and Sirius share since the incident. No one knows where he is and I’m worried, which is bad since the stress isn’t good for the baby. I just don’t understand why he’s so upset – he and I weren’t even together when it happened. So I ask, am I the arsehole and what should I do?