Chapter Text
It's been 5 weeks since Tim broke up with Lucy. Four weeks since he started therapy. They haven't spoken much outside of the occasional "hi" at the station.
Lucy seemed to be avoiding him and Tim didn't want to invade her personal space. After all, she had every right to not want to speak or see him.
But he missed her ... So much. He missed her laugh, her big brown eyes looking at him, her smile, her smell, her touch. He missed everything about her. About them.
Today he's going in the station, determined to talk to her. To at least try and have an adult conversation. This is something Lucy had been wanting since the breakup and he owes her that.
He sees Lucy talking to Nyla and Angela and immediately imagines her as a detective. "She deserves to be one them", he thinks.
As he is approaching, prepared to have their conversation, Grey calls everyone to roll call:
"Everyone please sit down. A week ago, we were made aware that an emergent Colombian Cartel, known as Los Cruzes is planning an attack on the streets of Los Angeles to gain control of the cocaine distribution in southern California (...)".
Lucy is standing next to Nyla, Angela and Grey. She's in plain clothes but using a badge. Tim knows where this is going and he starts feeling a knot in his throat.
He couldn't stop staring at her, knowing exactly what Grey would say next.
"Officer Chen has been able to infiltrate the cartel and will be our eyes and ears. Take a good look at her. If you see her on the streets, pretend you don't know her." Tim heard these words and the knot seemed to tighten around his neck. It felt like someone was choking him.
He couldn't let Lucy go undercover without talking to her and tell her everything that's on his chest.
He always hated when she went undercover but God .... It seems to hurt more now!
He's going to need a lot of therapy to deal with this. He knows it.
Lucy knows she should be excited. She used to always be excited when she was given the opportunity to go undercover. But now her chest hurt. As Grey and Nyla were talking about the mission during roll call, she couldn't take her eyes off of Tim. It's been so hard not talking to him, but she knows he's improved so much. At least that's what Angela said. And she knows it's true. She can see it. And she's so proud of him. But he hadn't spoken to her since their hallway encounter 4 weeks ago and she thought he had, somehow, figured that he didn't love her after all. So she didn't insist.
If he wanted to talk to her, he would have. At least that's what she thought until this morning. Tim was looking at her like a lost puppy. His ocean blue eyes were carrying so much weight and she remembered how worried he would get when she went undercover.
It hurt. Badly. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to tell him it was okay and she was going to be okay.
But she couldn't. She had to respect his time. And she was hurt too.
"Alright folks, let's get to work. Bradford, you're with officer Thorsen again" Grey says, snapping both Tim and Lucy out of their thoughts.
Lucy is preparing to leave on her mission, when Tim approaches:
"Hey" he says awkwardly. "Can we talk?". This is the first time he's taken the initiative to speak to her since their breakup.
Lucy's heart is pounding. "Tim, I gotta go. Can we talk later?". She knew "later" could mean a week or 3 months. She had been wanting this conversation for so long but now that it was here, she was scared.
"Actually, no! I need to TALK to you before you go on your mission Luce... Please. Please I can't let you go without telling you everything" Tim pleads as his eyes start welling up.
And so Lucy nods affirmatively. "Okay, but not here. Let's go somewhere more private".
Tim follows her lead. His heart feels like it's going to come out of his chest. But he would follow her anywhere.
And he braces to tell her everything he's been keeping to himself. And he could only hope, she takes him back...