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First off.
No you aren't going crazy, there's two Clevens, two Egans, and three Hamiltons. Don't worry you aren't going insane.
Second off.
The duplicates are named Ruth Thomas Cleven aka Bucket, Joseph James Egan aka Joey, Francis Edward Hamilton aka Porkchop, Elwood Joilet Hamilton aka Blu.
Third off.
I'm here to help twenty four seven, so is my guidebook which I'll loan to any very lost replacements, it's also available to everyone else of course.
So lets begin shall we.
Number one: Bucket is called Bucket because one we ran out of nicknames, and two the first night Bucket was here. He got so drunk that he stumbled and fell head first into a bucket, it took Smokey thirty minutes to pry it off his head. Bucket five minutes later proceeded to throw up in said bucket, number three because his brother is called Buck. It's incredibly stupid we know.
Number two: Joey is naturally blond, Bucket naturally has jet black hair, and Porkchop is naturally a brunette. So please stop asking them if their hair is natural or not.
Number three: Stop doing the printer ran out of ink joke on the Hamilton triplets, they absolutely hate it. They knew two of them are blond and ones a brunette, stop reminding them.
Number four: Blu is called Blu, because the man is allergic to the color blue. I'm not kidding he breaks out in hives if he wears anything blue.
Number five: Porkchop is color blind, stop asking what color something is, because he will punch you in the face, and we won't stop him.
Number six: Joey is a Bombardier, Bucket is a Navigator, Porkchop is a Navigator even though nobody wants him in their fort, and Blu is a Bombardier.
Number seven: Blu and Ham play musical forts because they are completely and utterly identical, if you have a problem force them to open their mouths. Ham has two gold teeth, well Blu does not.
Number eight: We promise that Porkchop is happy, he's just depressing to be around.
Number nine: Just smile and nod when Porkchop spits out a morbid fact.
Number ten: Bucket writes werid little stories about us, if he writes a story and you and your co worker kissing consider the possibility that you guys have underlying sexual tension, because Bucket hasn't been wrong yet, how do you think Buck and Bucky got together. Because Bucket wouldn't stop writing about them kissing.
Number eleven: Whatever you do don't touch Berty, just like you don't touch Meatball. Berty is Blu's emotional support goat. That he stole from the local petting zoo with Bucky.
Number twelve: Don't ask why Berty is wearing a dress, we gave up asking a very long time ago.
Number thirteen: Blakely there is no prize for sleeping with the multiples, so please stop trying. Your making Porkchop uncomfortable.
Number fourteen: Joey won't cuss you out in English, no he'll cuss you out in French and German which Bucky is jealous about because he's Bucky but he won't ever admit it.
Number fifteen: Porkchop, stop stealing Kens beanie, and anyone who sees him wearing it please steal it back and return it to Ken.
Number sixteen: Joey is apart of the 100th band, not Bucky stop believing his lies.
Number seventeen: We don't call Porkchop Mr Sunshine or Mr Sadness to his face, so stop doing it DeMarco.
Number eighteen: Only I can call Porkchop Mr Creepy it's our thing, okay Crosby.
Number nineteen: Porkchop doesn't want to murder Douglass or any of us, he just stares aggressively.
Number twenty: Porkchop has a hamster named Bucky, we aren't worried yet. Emphasis on the yet.
Number twenty one: We don't know why Bucket has such a thick southern accent, if you really can't understand him just find Buck. He'll be able to translate.
Number twenty two: Bucket hasn't learned how to ride a bike, don't worry Chick and Harding are teaching him as I write this.
Number twenty three: Yes we know that Joey was a professional dancer, please stop fangirling over him. Blakely he's married stop trying to get into his pants, I don't that care he's flexible.
Number twenty four: Whoever gave Blu a harmonica, we will hunt you down because he's keeping us up by trying to play it, and he sounds like a donkey giving birth.
Number twenty five: stop getting Bucket drunk, I don't care that he's hilarious, Buck is getting tired of helping with him the hangover the next morning.