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San was one of the alpha’s in his pack.
And he loved every single member of his pack with his entire heart and then some.
Hongjoong, his captain and pack alpha, who was the best leader that anyone could ever ask, and the only one that San would ever want. Seonghwa, their oldest and head omega, was stunning and never failed to amaze San with how graceful he was lookwise and personality wise. Yunho, their second oldest alpha and a golden retriever in human form, his enthusiasm and genuine love for their performances and mates was something that San, was so grateful that he got to see everyday. Mingi, their softhearted giant and omega, who somehow was scared of everything but the bravest of all of them, his courage was one of his best features (along with his smile), or at least San thought so. Wooyoung, their own troublemaker and omega, Wooyoung could talk to anyone and he also seemed to know exactly the right words to say when needed, he may have been mischievous, but he had a bleeding heart that San wanted to cradle in his hands. Jongho, their alpha maknae, who may appear reserved, but the moment he had someone in his heart they were their forever, which is exactly what San wanted.
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Then there was Yeosang. Their only beta.
Yeosang, well San hardly had the words to describe Yeosang. How could he even begin to describe someone who’s beauty was so far out of this world that it was ridiculous? How could he describe all the big and small gestures that their beta took that made his heart flutter in his chest?
Yeosang was simply too good for this world.
But Yeosang was in this world, somehow at the same time as San, who was both grateful and amazed by the fact that Yeosang loved him. Yeosang’s love was not something to be taken for granted, and neither was his beta’s happiness.
So as his mate, San saw it as his duty to protect both of those things. He really saw it as his duty to all of his mates, and San did not take this duty lightly. If anyone or anything was a threat to his mates, then San would take care of it.
He also knew that when his rut came up, that he could be a little overprotective, though in fairness to himself all of them during heats and ruts got like that. San couldn’t help that he wanted to hold onto all of his mates, keep them in their nest and make sure that all of them carried his scent on them.
If they were in the nest, then San knew that they were safe, and if they were in the nest then San could keep them safe.
But San also knew that with the lives and jobs they had, he couldn’t always protect his mates from everything, no matter how badly he wanted to.
Mean comments, weird people in higher positions, their own insecurities and people who felt they could invade their privacy. Was just a short list of the things San wanted to get rid of, but knew he couldn’t.
But he could comfort his mates, well most of them.
He could hold Wooyoung close, scent him and whisper reassurances to him whenever he began to feel those bouts of loneliness that had always plagued him.
He could play games with Yunho when the other was feeling stressed and needed something as an outlet, and while they were playing he could offer small comforting touches and smiles that were quiet reminders of the love they shared.
He could sit in Hongjoong’s studio and let the alpha go on his own rants about what was bothering him, and then let the alpha scent him and then San would scent him as well, as they sat their basking in each others company, knowing that they didn’t need to hide anything from one another.
San could tell Seonghwa how beautiful he was, when the cruel voices in his head, the voices that convinced Seonghwa that he was anything less than beautiful. He would hold Seonghwa’s hands and look him in his gorgeous eyes and tell him every single thing that he loved about him (and there was alot.).
When Mingi began to feel his anxiety and fears getting the best of him, San would hold his hands and gently run his wrist’s across his own. Softly scenting his mate and making sure that Mingi knew that he didn’t need to be scared when San was there.
Then Yeosang.
In truth, San was at a stump for how to take care of Yeosang.
San wanted to provide comfort to his mate, but he wasn’t sure how. What he hoped was that Yeosang understood that he was loved though, and that if he needed comfort, San would be all too happy to provide it.
When Yeosang rejected him in those moments though, he couldn’t help but sometimes feel like he was a bad mate. What kind of mate couldn’t take care of one of his own pack members? There was a gap, San was afraid if he let it continue to grow he may lose Yeosang entirely, whether this be to other people, the beta’s own insecurities or anything else that may come about.
So San had made a decision, that with his upcoming rut, that he was going to dote on his wonderful beta.
They just had to get through this interview, then San could spend his entire rut loving on all of his mates, while providing special attention to Yeosang.
I mean, it was one interview? What was the worst that could happen.
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First of all, the interviewer gave a smug aurora, and an even smuger scent. He carried himself like he was the most important person in the room, and it didn’t help at all that they were all going up to talk to him individually. Which did not do anything to ease San’s nerves, nor did it please his instincts that were frazzled from being on the edge of rut.
The first upsetting question went to his hyungs, Hongjoong went first, then Seonghwa, and it was about if either of them had ever thought that someone shouldn’t be in that pack, and if they had ever doubted anyones capabilities within the team. Which both of them very adamantly denied, and San knew that this was the truth.
That not once in the entire time that they had been together had either of them doubted anyone's place within the pack. San had never once doubted anyone's place either, and no he was not counting his own place okay? That was an entirely separate thing.
Then their beautiful and sweet Mingi was subjected to an invasive question in regards to his heat during his hiatus period. San had jerked up, ready to put a stop to this right now, and from the corner of his eye, he could see that Yunho had been about to jump in as well, both of them probably would have done something stupid had it not been for Seonghwa and Yeosang putting their hands on their shoulders.
Mingi’s hiatus was a touchy subject for all of them. It had of course been the right thing for Mingi, to take some time to himself and recover from all the things that had been plaguing him. But it also reminded them of failure, or at the very least that’s what it reminded San of.
He had failed to ensure one of his mates safety, and even if it was only for a short while, they had lost Mingi.
San swore to himself after Mingi’s hiatus, that he would never let one of his mates feel so awful that they felt the need to leave instead of seeking comfort from one of them.
Mingi rejoined the group, San could see that the second that he sat down, Yunho had reached out and interlocked their fingers together. Wooyoung, who was sitting beside him was up next, San had to fight against every instinct that wanted to hold Wooyoung in place at his side, because that was where he belonged.
Even before the interviewer opened his mouth, San knew it was going to be bad.
He asked if Wooyoung was ever bothered by the fact that attention was shared around in the pack, as he was “Clearly someone who needed all eyes on him.” The only thing that had stopped San from getting up was Yeosang’s strong grip on his shoulders.
When Wooyoung rejoined them, San wrapped his arms around the omega, and he had no plans of letting go anytime soon, because he knew that if he did, he was going to use his hands to beat in the face of the smug interviewer.
Their youngest was up next, and from the corner of his eyes he could see that Hongjoong was biting down on his lip harshly. Similarly to San, the head alpha was probably holding back a growl of disapproval. Hongjoong was protective over all of them, but they were really all protective of each other. But San knew that their captain had to keep a balance, because of the industry that they were in.
But they all knew that wasn’t possible.
They had a signal though, one that Hongjoong agreed he would never question, and that was if a member came to him and tapped the top of his hand three times, then he would get them out of whatever situation that they were in, no questions asked.
San was tempted to reach out and tap his captain’s hand, but he was also wary of the fact that the company had bee coming down on the captain for having left interviews on their behalf. So he tightened his grip on Wooyoung and focused on making his mate feel better.
“Jongho, does being the youngest and an alpha create issues when one of your mates won’t respect your place in the hierarchy?” The interviewer asked their maknae.
San whipped his head around, and saw that all of his mates had a similarly shocked face to his.
This interviewer was either a conservative who hadn’ gotten with the fact that packs and people were beyond the hierarchal system ( with the exception of having leaders) or he was just looking to get a reaction out of any of them.
If San had been asked a question like that, he probably would’ve smacked the guy to the ground, but thankfully Jongho, their very responsible and mature youngest member, simply said he didn’t understand the question and the interviewer moved along. But their maknae didn’t bother to hide his glare as he rejoined the group.
When Yunho went up, he immediately sat with a defensive posture and only answered curtly, the interviewer seemed to either get the hint that he shouldn’t ask questions about the pack, or was simply done toying with them, kept his questions to things about performances. Which eased some of the tension in the studio, but had done nothing to ease San’s own feelings.
After Yunho’s interview, they took a short break and the hyungs quickly shuffled them into the dressing room that they were sharing. Everybodies scent was mixed with anger and contempt, but San wouldn’t have even needed the scents to tell that no one was happy, seeing how hard the captain slammed the door was enough of an indicator as to how angry he was.
From the corner of his eye, he could see that Yeosang had jumped a bit at the action, and if his lap wasn’t full of Wooyoung, he would’ve reached over and pulled the beta into his side.
“Sorry.” Their captain huffed out, his shoulders and scent tense.
“Hyung, can we leave?” Yunho asked, from the spot on the counter that he had taken next to Mingi, Hongjoong let out a huff and took a seat next to Seonghwa on the floor, and began to speak again
“I really want to say yes to that, in fact I would love nothing more for us to leave and keep you all in the nest for the next few days, but I promised the company after the last interview-”
The last interview, which had ended with Hongjoong cancelling their schedules for an entire week as he kept them all in the nest, and gave some extra attention to Yunho, who had been subjected to frankly appalling comments about his weight and appearance, which had resulted in Mingi and Wooyoung saying some pretty harsh things back to the interviewer, though if San had opened his mouth he definitely would have said something that may have gotten him blacklisted.
San despised what had happened at that interview, but he definitely would not complain about being locked away in the nest with all of his mates, where he could scent them and cuddle them to his hearts content and whispered in their ears all the things that he loved about them.
He also knew he would be getting that in exactly a day or two with his rut coming up.
Seonghwa’s voice cut through San’s fantasies,
“So how about we all just do our best to dodge any uncomfortable questions, and then since we have the next week off for San’s rut, we can deal with anything during that okay?” They all nodded in agreement, but there were still grumbles of displeasure. Nobody wanted their mates to be uncomfortable and upset, but unfortunately they were just going to have to suck it up if they wanted to go home.
“I know it’s not ideal, but just remember that we all love each other and it doesn’t matter what anyone else says alright?” Hongjoong was right, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else had to say.
But San also knew that no matter how hard you tried to ignore the negative things people said about you, you would always find yourself with this horrible curiosity to know what they were saying, to find if there was any truth in what they had to say about you. He had his own spirals with hate comments or remarks made by interviewers. But he did really try to speak to one of his mates before he felt himself going too far down the rabbit hole.
That’s why they had the rule about hate comments, and it was that if you found yourself looking at more than three, you had to seek out a member of the pack for reassurance.
The captain gestured for them all to come in for a group hug, he ended up next to Yeosang, and San couldn’t help but rubbing against his beautiful beta’s neck, hoping that in one reminded the beta that San was there for him, and two it acted as a way to quickly put at least a little bit of his scent onto his mate. Which eased something in his heart.
Yeosang was his mate, and nothing would ever change that.
As they exited the dressing room though, San could feel something twitching underneath his skin, he just had this feeling that everything was wrong. His scent was wrong, his mates scents were all wrong, his clothes were all wrong, everything was wrong. But he didn’t know how to fix it.
So in an effort to relieve this tension, he clung onto Wooyoung.
But any relief that he felt was short lived as he was forced to let go in order to go up for his part of the interview. Despite the continual feeling of wrongness, San thought he handled that interview perfectly well for the most part, the interviewer just asked him the same questions about performances that he had asked Yunho.
But then San saw the interviewer get a glint in his eye, his eyes passing over all of his mates sitting off to the side until they had found their target, who was conveniently looking to the side.
“San, does having a beta in the pack ever bother you?”
That had San and everyone else's attention immediately, most of the eyes went to Yeosang though. But San could see that his beta was looking right at him, and this made it difficult and easy to answer at the same time.
Because knowing that Yeosang was hearing this was awful, and he knew that his quieter mate was already doubting himself, which made San want to tear the interviewer to shreds for even suggesting that Yeosang could in any way be bothersome.
But it made it easier, because San knew that as soon as this was over he could hold onto Yeosang as tightly as he needed to and make sure the beta knew that he would forever and always belong beside him, just like the rest of their mates.
“Of course it doesn't bother me, Yeosang is my mate, just the same as the others are.” San spat out, keeping track of the fact that the interviewer's eyes had never really left Yeosang.
The interviewer asked a few more questions but San couldn’t even really hear what they were through the growing haze of red in his vision. How dare he? How fucking dare this nobody interviewer even imply that Yeosang was anything less then wonderful.
San didn’t even fully note that the interview had ended, he only made note of the fact that he was walking back to his mates, and that Yeosang was walking towards him. But he knew Yeosang wasn’t walking to him, no his beautiful mate was walking towards the unworthy scum, where he was about to be subjected to more questions that could make him doubt himself.
And San couldn’t stop it from happening.
But he could steal a few moments to remind Yeosang of the things he should know.
So he took hold of his mate's arm, bringing him to a halt in front of him, he lifted his arms so that his hands were cupping the beta’s stunning face and then placed a firm kiss to his forehead, taking a second to catch a whiff of Yeosang’s lavender scent. He pulled his face back, then leaned down to Yeosang’s ear.
“I love you, you’re ours and nothing will ever change that.” His mate nodded, it really wasn’t enough to satisfy San, but it would have to do for now. He regrettably pulled away from Yeosang, then found himself beside Wooyoung, who placed a hand on the side of his head and guided it to rest on his shoulder, which San was entirely grateful for.
“You did great, Sannie.” His mate whispered to him, as he placed a kiss on the side of San’s temple.
Which he couldn’t help but preen at. He was a sucker for praise and all of his mates knew it. But he very quickly turned his eyes back to the interview, it was clear from the questions that had been asked today, the interviewer had been looking for a target, and for some unfathomable reason he had chosen Yeosang.
“Do you ever have fights with your members?” The interviewer asked, absolutely leerring as he leaned into Yeosang’s space, which was very clearly upsetting the beta, a growl was building up in San’s throat, but Wooyoung pressed a hand down on his chest which managed to keep him from letting it out.
“Disagreements do come about, but we do our best to resolve them in a civil manner.” Was what Yeosang’ answered, and San hoped that would be enough to get the interviewer to back off. Because they were eight different people with different personalities, of course disagreements happened, but as Yeosang said they tried to resolve arguments and disagreements by discussing what had upset them with each other.
“Right, have you ever had any big arguments with anyone?” The interviewer asked, as he pushed himself even closer to Yeosang, who was very clearly fretting at having his space impeded on like that. San couldn’t help the little grumble of displeasure that came out of his mouth, it wasn’t loud enough to be heard by the interviewer, but it was loud enough that Jongho moved a little closer and linked their pinkies together.
He shot what he hoped was a grateful glance towards their maknae.
“Nothing that wasn’t resolved after a conversation.” Yeosang responded, the interviewer moved back a bit, not far enough to make San happy, but far away enough that San could live with it.
“Okay, and Yeosang you are the only beta in the pack aren’t you? Does that ever bring about any issues with the others?” The interviewer made it no secret that he was glancing over at all of them, and San fought against every instinct that told him he needed to get in between the interviewer and Yeosang.
“Not that I’m aware of.” His mate answered, though San wished he had said something like ‘Never has and never will.’ Because it had never been an issue that Yeosang was a beta, just like it hadn’t been an issue to any of them what subgender they were. It didn’t matter if Yeosang was a beta, alpha or an omega, San and everyone else would love him regardless, because they loved him for being Yeosang, their sweet, loving and too good for this world Yeosang.
The interviewer glanced down at his flashcards and without even looking up he said:
“Well that’s good, though I’m sure you’ve noticed that there can be some distance between you and the others.”
Something cold and awful passed through San, and no matter how tightly Wooyoung and Jongho were holding onto him, he could feel this icy feeling in every part of his body.
“I didn’t think it was anything noteworthy.” Yeosang squeaked out, but his voice was uncertain and his eyes were down to the ground, which San knew was a sign that waterworks were building up in his mate, but he was trying to hold them back. The interviewer should have shut his mouth after that, but unfortunately he did not do that.
“Oh sure it is, I mean after all there’s always going to be an odd one out and as your fans have pointed out it’s often you.” San could see that Yeosang nodded, something in his own heart broke. Because, how bad of mates they must have been, because Yeosang couldn’t hold his head high and say ‘No, I belong with them.’
He could see that Yeosang was biting his lip, and San desperately wanted to pull them away from his teeth, and place his lips on Yeosang’s own, hold his face between his hands and press as many kisses as it took for Yeosang to believe that he was every bit as wonderful as he truly was.
“Though do you think this distance is due to your subgender or because of how you interact with the others?” San was not the only one who had to take a sharp inhale at that question, he could see that everyone was tense and their scents were all going sour.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I entirely understand what you're asking?” Yeosang asked, very clearly trying to get the interviewer to move on to a different topic, like he had with Jongho. But this interviewer was very clearly someone who needed their head bashed into the side of the curb, to gain any form of common sense, because he elaborated.
“Well, do you think the distance is because you’re beta? Since you don’t contribute much within a pack dynamic.” From the corner of his eyes, he could see that Hongjoong had stood up, and if it hadn't been for Wooyoung leaning across him to press his weight down on top of San, he would have done the exact same thing.
“Or do you think that distance is due to a lack of compatibility in professional settings, seeing as outside of visuals you don’t do as much as the others.”
San wished to kill this interviewer. He really and truly hoped that something painful and horrific happened to this guy and that he went somewhere where he would never bother anyone ever again.
But what San really wanted was to go back in time and prevent the heartbroken expression that Yeosang was making right now, because it was absolutely devastating to know that Yeosang was believing even a single word out of this mans mouth, to know that his mate thought that this scum of the earth had any right to talk to him like that.
San didn’t even hear what Yeosang’s reply was, the only thing he remembered was how the interviewer smiled at Yeosang like he hadn’t put on blast the beta’s insecurities, and shook his hand, and yes San had growled the second contact was made and he was not ashamed to admit it.
Yeosang stumbled back towards them, he was bitting down on his lip and he wasn’t making eye contact with anyone. But the second he had gotten up Jongho and Wooyoung had untangled themselves from him and San all but threw himself at Yeosang and attached his mouth to his scent gland.
But he wasn’t even sure the beta had noticed, as he didn’t say a single word as they walked out of the studio with both him and Wooyoung being attached to his scent glands, and he was hardly reacting to anything.
He said nothing as he and Wooyoung shuffled him into the car and sandwiched him in between them, he just had this far away look in his eyes and San was panicking because he knew that look, he knew that when Yeosang had it on, his mate had gone somewhere in his own head, where no matter what you said he wouldn’t really hear it. He was slipping out of San and everyone else's reach and he wasn’t sure how to get him back.
When they got home, San had planned on pulling the beta into his room and keeping him bundled up in the covers and tangled into his arms until it was time for dinner, but that plan went out the window as soon as they got out of the car. Yeosang stayed two steps behind their captain, who was pretty much stomping up the stairs to their apartment, and as soon as Hongjoong had unlocked the door, Yeosang shoved past the alpha and ran down the hall to his room.
They all heard the sound of the door slamming shut, and even worse they all heard the sickening sound of a lock being turned.
Yeosang had shut them all out, with no way of being able to get to him.
Their were panicked looks immediately being exchanged, but it was Seonghwa who spoke up first.
“Shoes off, I’ll go see him first.” They all listened to their oldest with no question, though San was almost happy to not that he was not the only one who was quickly chucking his shoes off in order to see what was happening, Seonghwa, who already had his shoes off, walked down the hall and once all of their shoes were off, every single one of them poked their head around the corner to see what was happening.
Seonghwa reached the the door to the room that Wooyoung and Yeosang shared, glanced in their direction, took a studying breath and then knocked.
“Yeosang, are you alright?” The head omega asked, through the door door, the hesitation on his hyung’s face did nothing to ease the growing knot in San’s stomach and Yeosang’s response did not help either.
“I’m fine, I just want to be alone for a bit.” Their beta called out, and San didn’t even attempt to hide the whine that came out of his throat.
He just couldn’t help it, even through the locked door, he could smell Yeosang’s scent which had gone from it’s usual fresh lavender, to the smell of wilting flowers and San couldn’t do anything to fix it. He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning his head he was met with the face of Yunho who was making big pleading eyes at him.
“Sannie, will you scent me please?” The alpha asked, tilting his neck in an inviting manner, and San didn’t even care that it was clearly meant to be a distraction, not when scenting Yunho would make him incredibly happy.
They shuffle down the hallway past Yeosang’s door, which Seonghwa is still in front of as he quietly calls out to their beta:
“Okay, but if you need anything we’re right here, I’ll come get you for dinner later.”
San wanted to say something, knock on the door and tell Yeosang that he would sit outside of it until he decided that he was ready to come out and face the world again, though San would never let Yeosang face anything alone if he had the choice.
But right now he didn’t get that, Yeosang had literally locked the door that would allow them to come to him, and none of them were going to get by until the beta decided he was ready. But San also knew that if it reached a certain point, none of them were above breaking the lock or the door down.
Yunho tugged at San’s arms, leading him into the room that he shared with Jongho. Yunho let go of San’s arms, and he made a truly pathetic noise at the loss of the contact between him and his mate. Yunho gave him a curious glance, but quickly laid down on San’s bed and made hand motions to gesture that San should come closer.
San didn’t even waste a second after that, he jumped onto his bed, his legs straddling Yunho, as he began to pepper kisses all over his mates face. It was so lovely to watch the way Yunho practically melted under his touch. Yunho loved affection, giving it and receiving it, but he seemed to feel a little shy about asking for it.
So to have Yunho, not only ask for San to scent him, but to see him underneath San all but begging for his love, was positively delightful.
San pressed his face into the side of Yunho’s neck, breathing in his mates scent. Then he pressed kisses against his scent gland, as Yunho squirmed underneath him.
“Alpha please.” Yunho begged, as his hands came up to rest in San’s hair, and San knew that Yunho had felt him smile against the skin on the side of his neck, and Yunho had definitely felt it when San started licking at the side of his neck.
San wasn’t sure how long that he had been scenting Yunho, but it was long enough that when he finally felt that Yunho sufficiently smelt like him, he pulled away to be met with the other alpha smiling up at him with hazy eyes.
“Thanks Sannie.” Yunho mumbled out, his hands were still in San’s hair, but his grip was incredibly loose.
“I should be thanking you, Yuyu.” He laughed out, resisting the urge to lean down and peck his mates lips, instead he lifted one leg and let his weight drop to one side so that he would be lying besides Yunho, rather than on top of him.
The other alpha tucked his head to rest on San’s shoulder, which he was all too happy to accommodate. His bedroom door was still open, and if San really focused, he could still smell the rest of their packs scents, and he could still smell Yeosang’s devastatingly sad scent from down the hallway.
A little displeased sound made its way out of his throat, and Yunho, who’s eyes had now come back into focus looked up at him.
“Poor Sangie, that guy really had it out for him.” Yunho said, his eyes tracking San's every movement.
“I wanted to kill him.” San stated, and a hand patted his chest.
“Trust me Sannie, all of us were thinking about it.” The two of them chuckled a bit, but San couldn’t deny that now they were done with riding the high of the scenting session, all he could really think about was Yeosang behind that stupid locked door. Yunhho placed a hand above his heart.
“I know, I know it sucks that we can’t get to him right now, but we just have to wait for him to be ready to come back to us.” Yunho’s words were logical, but San’s feelings were anything but.
“You know how he gets in his head sometimes?” He asked, and Yunho nodded.
“And how he gets like this when he’s upset and goes somewhere where he’s alone?” San asked, and Yunho nodded again.
If there was anything that San would ever change about Yeosang, it would be the fact that he thinks he has to do things alone. That he has to be upset alone and away from them, when he could be in their arms and hopefully significantly less upset.
But Yeosang’s habit of going alone also scared San beyond belief.
They had a couple of incidents before they had fully become a pack, where something had happened that had upset Yeosang, and rather then going to any one of the seven people that he had lived with and loved him, he had gone off somewhere on his own, sometimes without telling any of them where he was going. Which had given all of them a fright, but it scared San in particular for a different reason, beside the usual concerns when someone went missing without a word.
“I’m scared there’s going to be a day he won’t come back to us.” San quietly confessed, moving his hand to grasp at the one Yunho had placed over his heart. Yunho’s fingers locked into his own.
“He will come back to us San, it’s just that sometimes he needs a reminder that we're here waiting for him.” San smiled at his mate, and he couldn’t help dropping his face down to place a kiss on Yunho's forehead.
“I love you.” He whispered out, and he didn’t even need to look to know Yunho to know that he was smiling too.
“I love you too Sannie.” Yunho said, tilting his head up to give a kiss to San.
“I’m so glad that we all found each other, I couldn’t imagine my life without any of you in it.” Well San couldn’t not kiss Yunho after his mate had just said something so adorable, so he did, then Yunho kissed him, then San kissed Yunho again.
They were in a cycle of sharing their love for one another through the most necessary means, as San would say.
But Jongho clearly called it something different when he walked into the room.
“When you two are done making out, dinners ready.” The youngest hardly spared them a glance as he put something down on top of his bed and walked back out of the room. He and Yunho didn’t even bother to look embarrassed as they untangled themselves from each other and made their way down the hall, but San found himself coming to a stop right in front of Yeosang’s still shut door.
Yunho stopped with him. They could smell the wilted flower scent, his and Yunho’s hands were still linked, so the other alpha once again pulled San away.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to smother him at dinner.” Yunho assured.
San did not get to smother Yeosang at dinner, in fact the beta was absent from the entire meal, as all of them notably kept jerking their heads towards the hallway.
“We're going to try and get him to eat without all of us crowding him.” Seonghwa explained, making up a plate to put aside for Yeosang.
Although San did not get to smother Yeosang, he did get to dote on Wooyoung a bit. San made a show of using his chopsticks to feed the omega sitting beside him, their usual chatter was filled with an uncomfortable silence.
“Thanks for feeding me.” Wooyoung muttered out, sounding utterly dejected as he got up to do the dishes, but San took hold of his wrist, he shared a look with Jongho and MIngi he took the hint.
“Will do the dishes Hyung.” Jongho said, taking the bowl from Wooyoung’s hand, San also shot a glance over to Hongjoong, who nodded in approval, San didn’t wait for anything else and pulled Wooyoung down the hallway towards his room. Wooyoung made no noises as San arranged them on his bed so that Wooyoung was tucked in between his legs, his back was pressed against his chest, and San hooked his chin over his mates shoulder.
“What’s going on in your head, Youngie?”
His omega shook his head.
“You shouldn’t be worrying about me right now.” Wooyoung muttered out, but San shook his head and tightened his hold.
“I worry about every one of you, and you and I know that you’ll feel better once you speak about it.” San could feel Wooyoung shifting against him, but eventually his mate sighed and fully relaxed into his touch.
“I’m really worried about Sangie.” Wooyoung confessed, and San hummed in acknowledgement hoping that he would go on.
“And I’m worried that part of the reason that he shuts himself away like this is because I take up attention from everyone else.”
San was really contemplating the consequences of killing that interviewer. Because San knew that this thought had come from the comment he had made about Wooyoung “Clearly someone who needed all eyes on him.”
Wooyoung liked attention, this was no secret to anyone. But it also was something that San absolutely adored about his mate, Wooyoung had no qualms about being loud, draping himself all over them and making cheeky remarks to get them to pay attention to him. San loved that Wooyoung felt safe enough with them to act like this, that Wooyong trusted them to be himself with.
“You do not take anything away from Sangie, by being yourself Wooyoung.” San firmly stated, after lightly biting at Wooyoung’s mating bite.
“I just wish that he could understand that he can have attention to, you know? He was even like this before.” Right, Wooyoung and Yeosang had been friends even before Ateez, they had seen each other from the very beginning and until now.
“He just seems to think he’s being selfish when he wants things from us, which sucks because I know Yeosang doesn’t think of me or anyone else as selfish for asking for those things.” Wooyoung tilted his neck to the side, giving San more room to work with the kisse he had begun pressing into his mates skin as he continued to talk.
“I want him to give himself the same grace that he gives everyone else, even if they don’t deserve it.” Wooyoung grumbled out, San pulled away from kissing his mates neck, and took to rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs on top of Wooyoung’s hands.
“Our Sangie really is too kind for this world.” San said, Wooyoung made a noise of agreement.
“He really is, I hate when he goes anywhere alone because I can’t stand the idea of anyone seeing how good he is and trying to ruin it for their own amusement.” Wooyoung took a breath in and spoke quietly on the next part.
“And I know that if something had happened Yeosang wouldn’t say anything, if he comes back to us, out of some misplaced guilt that he has.”
If he comes back to us.
Is what flashes through San’s mind.
That stupid word, if, has all of the arms on his hair standing up and that horrible icy feeling that he had at the interview creeping back into his body. Because, saying if, wasn’t the same as saying will or when, if was an uncertainty, If, meant that there was a chance that Yeosang wouldn’t come back to them, whether if this through his own choice or outside intervention, both were upsetting to San.
Wooyoung must have noticed his distress, because the omega managed to twist himself around and began to lightly scent his neck with small licks to his scent gland.
“What’s going on San?” Wooyoung muttered against his skin.
“What if he goes somewhere, and doesn’t come back to us?” San whispered, as his fingers played with a loose thread on Wooyoung’s jumper. Wooyoung gave him a small nip on his scent glands, then pushed his head up so that their foreheads were resting against each other.
“Then we go get him.” Wooyoung said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Which maybe to Wooyoung it was.
“But what if we can’t?” San pressed, his mind flicking through a million different ways that they could lose Yeosang.
“Sannie.” Wooyoung firmly said, forcing the alpha to make eye contact with him.
“I promise that if he goes, we will find a way to bring him back.”
San sniffled a little bit, but found himself breaking into a smile.
“Pinky promise?” He managed to get out through a watery chuckle.
“Pinky promise.” Wooyoung vowed as he locked his and San’s pinky’s together.
There was a snort by the door, and San looked up to see Mingi standing in the doorway, with a wonderful smile on his face.
“You two are so cute.” Mingi stated, Wooyoung stuck his tongue out.
“Actually we’re the cutest!” Wooyoung proclaimed, which made Mingi giggle.
“What did you need Min?” San asked, once the giggling had died off, the omega then looked a little more serious.
“Can I come in a talk with you two for a minute?” Immediately he and Wooyoung shuffled around so that there would be room for Mingi on the bed. He came into the room, but seemed to hesitate when he reached San’s bedside.
San grabbed a handful of his sleeve and pulled him down onto the bed, wrapping his free arm around Mingi’s shoulders, his other one was wrapped around Wooyoung. San rubbed his face into the side of Mingi’s neck, hoping that the action would relax his mate.
“Yeosang’s not eating dinner.” Mingi said, and a knot started to form in his stomach.
“Hongjoong hyung had to use a captain’s order to get him to unlock the door.” The knot got heavier. Mingi shifted his head, so that he was making eye contact with Wooyoung.
“Hyung asked if you could stay in your room for the whole night, keep an eye on him.”
“I will not let him out of my sight.” Wooyoung said, as he gave a mock salute, moving away from San, but for some reason this action greatly displeased San, the knot in his stomach was still tight, and just the thought of another one of his mates being out of his sight made him queasy. Wooyoung went to pull away, but San pulled him back towards him, with a light growl.
“San.” Wooyoung said his name with a tone of caution, and San could see that Wooyoung and Mingi were sharing similar looks.
“Pre-rut is hitting you hard huh?” Mingi questioned, tilting his neck in a way that meant he was offering it to San to scent. San nodded, moving his face to bury it into Mingi’s neck, his hold on Wooyoung loosening just enough that the omega squirmed out of his grip.
“You can cuddle our Mingi, while I go take care of our Sangie.” Wooyoung told him, as got off the bed, San would openly admit, that he wasn’t happy with the fact Wooyoung was getting out of his bed, in fact San actually wasn’t very happy with the fact that all of his mates weren’t here right now for him to scent and cuddle.
So he focused his energy into making sure that every inch of Mingi was covered in his scent, and his mate seemed all too happy to let it happen, simply bearing his throat and letting San do whatever he needed to do.
When San eventually pulled away from Mingi, the omega was flushed a wonderful shade of pink and was halfway asleep, and he probably would have fallen asleep in San’s arms if it hadn’t of been for Yunho coming and knocking on the door.
“I’ve come to collect the princess for bed.” Yunho teased as he came closer to him, and San caught a bit of his scent, which was still very much so smelling like San which pleased him greatly. The knot in his stomach had loosened as he scented Mingi, and he was less reluctant about letting Yunho pull Mingi away from him, though he still whined a little bit.
Yunho shot him a curiosus glance, then gave him a reassuring smile.
“Jongho’s going to come to bed soon.” San made a noise of acknowledgement, as he moved his blankets and pillows around him, so that they were sitting just right. It was only a few moments later that Jongho, who was dressed in his pyjamas, came into the room and switched the light off.
San watched as their maknae hovered at the edge of his bed, glancing between it and San’s, then a smile grew onto his face when Jongho approached him, their youngest looked a little bashful as he glanced at San’s arrangement of blankets and pillows.
“Hyung, can I sleep with you?” San grinned, like hell he would say no to that request. It wasn’t often that Jongho asked for things like this, he was similar to Yunho in that regard, where they were shy about affection when they were on the receiving end.
Though unlike Yunho, who could overcome his shyness after a little bit of encouragement, Jongho had never gotten over his, even when he was the one initiating he seemed a bit unsure if he should be asking.
Which was silly, because who would turn down the chance to hold hands and hug Jongho? Only incredibly stupid people with no taste would, or people who knew damn well that if they did they would have seven very protective mates coming for them for trying to get close to their baby.
For a moment, San pictured someone who wasn’t one of their mates trying to put a hand on Jongho, and the image fueled him with such an intense spike of jealousy that he tugged Jongho into his bed by his shirt collar, and adjusted him so that he was tucked between the wall and San.
“Stay.” San told him, as he moved about a bit more to pull the blanket over them. Jongho, seemed surprised by his little outburst and San noted that when he shifted closer Jongho took a noticeably sniff of his scent glands.
But San was a bit to focused on making sure that Jongho was fully tucked in with him to really care that his mate was taking note of his scent. Once he was satisfied with how the blanket was placed, San moved so his face was resting near Jongho’s throat, he wasn’t scenting Jongho, but he was close enough that every inhale filled his nose with the smell of fresh fruits.
Jongho titles his head slightly, which made San whine with the loss of closeness from his mates neck.
“Sorry alpha.” The youngest muttered out, as he moved back so that he was closer to San. The older alpha made a sound of approval, this time actually leaning into scent Jongho, but only lightly.
They were both tired from the day that they had, and only after a few minutes of scenting Jongho’s eyes dropped closed and his breathing evened out, a spark of pride burst in San’s chest at seeing how calm and relaxed their maknae was in his arms, and a very big spark of satisfaction came at knowing that Jongho had come to him, and trusted that San would keep him safe as he slept.
San would keep him safe, San would protect him from anything. He rolled onto his side and glanced at the door, despite the fact that his face had just been buried in Jongho’s neck and the room smelt like a delightful array of fresh fruits, when San stopped making contact with Jongho, he could immediately smell wilting flowers.
His eyebrows twitched, and any sense of relaxation that he had went away.
Even in his sleep, Jongho must have smelt the unease in San’s scent, because he shifted slightly. Seeing that his mates sleep was about to be interrupted, San leaned down and placed a kiss to his forehead and whispered to the youngest.
“I’ll be back in a second darling.”
Which was thankfully enough to settle Jongho.
San smiled, but as soon as the youngest was down, he got out of bed and wandered down the hall. As he got closer to his target, he found himself feeling absolutely gutted. Yeosang was so sad and hurt and instead of that feeling easing at all in their home, it had only gotten worse.
When he reached the doorway, he was not pleased at all that the scent in Yeosang and Wooyoung’s room was that of fully dead flowers, but he was pleased to see that Wooyoung had protectively curled himself over Yeosang.
The two of them were asleep, and he could smell the evidence that Wooyoung had tried to overpower Yeosang’s scent with his own. He took a step closer and as he glanced down at Yeosang’s beautiful face, and was distraught at the obvious tear tracks lining his cheeks.
San felt something inside of him shifting.
Every cell in his body was crying out for him to pick Yeosang up, take him somewhere safe and make them a nest full of all of their mates scents, he wanted to bundle Yeosang up in his clothes and have him sit in his lap as San scented him so much that this sad a horrible scent of dead flowers would never come from Yeosang again.
He reached his hand out to do exactly that, but someone called his name from the doorway.
“San?”
Oh , it was Hongjoong, his captain.
Our alpha.
Something preened inside of San, but his eyes glanced back down at Yeosang and Wooyoung.
Our beta and Our omega.
They were all his, they were San’s mates and nothing in the world was going to change that, and if anything did San would make sure that it was dealt with. His hand, which was still hovering over the top of Yeosang, ended up gently running through the beta’s loose locks and he leaned down and whispered.
“Mine, not going to let anything hurt you.”
He pulled his hand away, and walked back towards the doorway, which his captain was standing out, having been a silent observer to the interaction that had taken place. When he reached his alpha, he pouted out his lip and gestured that he wanted a hug.
He could see that his hyung had rolled his eyes, but he indulgently held his arms, and San did not waste the opportunity, bending down to let his head rest on his leader shoulders.
“Such a good mate Sannie, checking on our loves like that.” Hongjoong praised, somehow leading San a few steps down the hallway back to his own doorway, when they reached it he could see the way his alpha’s eyes lit up at the sight of the maknae bundled up in San’s bed as well.
“You even put our baby to bed and made sure he was all safe.” Hongjoong added, pulling San’s head up so that he could give him a kiss on the forehead.
“You can rest now darling, hyung will go check on our other mates.” His captain led San back to his bed, lying him down and shuffling San so that he was pressed against the youngest, but before the captain left, he lightly mouthed at his mating bite on San’s collar.
“My pretty mate, will take care of you.” Hongjoong assured as he pulled away,
And that was enough to get rid of any of the uneasy feelings that San had, he fully tucked himself against Jongho and closed his eyes.
He let himself fall asleep, assured in the fact that all of his mates were safe here in their home, they would take care of San, San would take care of them.
Because they loved each other, and they were all here together and as long as it stayed like that San knew things would be fine.
____________________________________________________________________
San woke up and things were very much so not fine.
He woke up with Jongho in his arms, which would have usually made San very happy, in fact if it had been any other day San would have been over the moon at having woken up with Jongho’s head cradled against his chest.
But because it was this morning, San woke up feeling all wrong and with an urge to gather up his mates and keep them in their nest. At the moment the only scent that he could smell was that of their maknae, which was an amazing and beautiful scent, but it was the only one that San could smell and he couldn’t tell where the rest of their mates were.
An upset whine made its way out of his throat, and it was loud enough that Jongho began to woke up, the youngest alpha blinked a few times, yawning once and then taking a deep inhale, and as soon as he did, he tried to sit up.
But San pressed his weight down onto him, not wanting to lose contact with the only mate he was currently aware of that was close to him.
“I know hyung, but we gotta get up so we can go to the nest.” That had San perking his head up, and he could see Jongho nodding his head encouragingly.
“You can hold my hand on the way there.” Jongho offered, bringing his hand up to take hold of San’s. San tightly gripped the offered ligament, not tight enough to hurt his youngest mates, but tight enough that he was assured the Jongho wouldn’t be able to be tugged out of his grasp if anyone tried.
They managed to get out of the room, but San wanted to stop at every door they passed because behind each one was the scent of his mates, and they passed an open one that smelled of dead flowers.
My beta needs to be safe.
He pulled at Jongho’s hand, indicating to his mate that he wanted to go into their other mates room, but the youngest shook his head.
“I’ll go get them hyung, but we need to go see Hongjoong and Seonghwa hyung first.”
At the mention of their other mates, San was reminded of the deep longing that he had the night before to have all of his mates safe and close to him. He tugged on Jongho’s hand and the youngest alpha pulled him along to the hyung’s room.
The door was open and San could see his two hyungs were sitting up against the headrest, Hongjoong had an arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders and Seonghwa’s hands were resting on the top of the blanket covering Hongjoong’s thighs.
Their heads immediately jerked up at the sight (and probably the smell of them), before they crossed the threshold of the doorway both of them were on their feet and quickly approached the two of them. Seonghwa reached them first and he cradled San’s face in between his hands.
“Hi sweetie, you’re probably feeling a bit frazzled huh?” San nodded, grateful that his hyung knew him so well that he didn’t even need San to say anything to understand what he needed. Seonghwa leaned forward and brushed their noses together.
“That’s okay Sannie, Hongjoong’s going to take you to the nest, is that what you want baby?” San nodded again, he could see the way his hyung was smiling at him, and a spark of fondness was shining in the eldests eyes as well.
“How about Jongho and I go and get everyone else up, we can get Youngie to make us all breakfast and we can all eat together in the nest?” That sounded heavenly, and exactly what San wanted, but he opened his mouth, needing to make one thing clear.
“Sangie needs to be there.”
His three mates shared a look between them, but San missed it in favour of rubbing his face into the side of Seonghwa’s hand.
“Of course he will, San, will make sure our pretty beta feels better won’t we?” San nodded, unfortunately to get what he wanted, Seonghwa and Jongho had to release their hold on San, he whimpered at the loss of contact. But Hongjoong was quick to act, grabbing his arm and pulling San towards the nest room.
Once they were in the room, Hongjoong pulled San towards the massive bed that was big enough to hold all eight of them, and then have some more space after that.
“Going to make a beautiful nest for us, Sannie?” His alpha asked, and San was eager to meet his leader request, began to immediately arrange the pillows and blankets in a way that he felt would ensure his mates comfort and safety, although the scents on the blankest and objects in the room had dulled a bit, which was making San agitated.
He wanted to be surrounded by all his pretty mates' scents and mix them with his own.
Hongjoong had evidently taken notice of his growing distress, and decided to assign him another task.
“Want to pick something for each of us to wear, baby?” San smiled and took hold of his hyung’s hand and led him over to the closet on the other side of the room. Each of them had their own closet, with a name label that was filled with clothes that they had thoroughly scented with their own scent.
San opened the closet and he knew straight away what he wanted his captain to wear, he thrusted a baggy white shirt that had his initials stitched into the back of the collar. His captain happily rid himself of the shirt that he was wearing, his captain grinned at him as his head popped out of the fabric.
San made a sound of delight at the sight.
“Pick something for Mingi next.” Hongjoong tasked, and San happily chirped as he found the oversized jumper that he knew their tallest member loved.
Things went on like that for a couple of minutes, Hongjoong naming a member and asking San to pick an item of clothing for them.
For Wooyoung, he picked a baggy black shirt that had a small white star over the place where his heart would be. For Yunho, he selected a three quarter sleeve white top that had the number eight on it. For Seonghwa, he found a long sleeve black shirt that had white stripes where the cuffs were. For Jongho, he picked out a dark blue hoodie that had their team name printed on the back.
As this selection process was going on, San noticed that Seonghwa and Mingi were coming in and out of the nest, but the were coming in with piles of clothes from the other members and blankets that they had used throughout the week, so San was all to happy to let them place them down near the nest, knowing that all of those things would help build up the scent of home in the room.
“What do you want Yeosang to wear?” Hongjoong prompted, and with the reminder of their wonderful beta, San was hit with the horrible reminder of the smell of dead flowers and tear marks on his mates cheeks.
He began digging through the closest, finding black sweatpants, a white baggy top that he had only scented a few days prior, and a dark green hoodie.
“Giving our pretty beta a whole outfit?” His head alpha teased, but San tightened his grip on the bundle of clothes he had put together.
“He can’t smell like that anymore, I won’t let him.”
Any more playful teasing died out on Hongjoong’s tongue, the captain gave a nod of understanding and looked back towards the door to see that Mingi had just walked in.
“Do you want to dress our princess up, then get him to help you finish the nest while hyung rounds the others up?”
Mingi’s eyes darted towards them at the use of his nickname, and San quickly beckoned his mate over, hearing no downsides to that plan at all. He quickly dressed Mingi in the hoodie that he had picked out, stealing a few kisses in between, then led the omega over to the pile of blankets and clothes that Seonghwa and him had brought in for San.
Mingi moved the clothes and blankets about as San instructed, and as soon as San was satisfied with the arrangement, he pulled his mate to sit down in the middle with him. He could hear some commotion going on outside of the nest door, but it was shut and the only thing San wanted to focus on right now was the fact that things smelt exactly as they should.
Mingi leaned against his shoulder, and San happily leaned down to rest his head on top of Mingi’s. This was good, but the only thing that was missing was the rest of his mates being here and safe within the nest.
A small sound came out of his mouth, and Mingi hummed in agreement.
“I know, everyones going to be here soon, and you can do whatever you need to.”
San smiled down at the omega and placed a kiss on his forehead.
Mingi was right, San just had to be calm and patient, everyone in the pack was here and there was no need to worry.
“Where the fuck is he?”
That was definitely a reason to worry.
It was Wooyoung’s voice, San knew this because it was very loud. But Wooyoung being loud wasn’t usually a cause for concern, but the words that he was saying definitely was and San started to shift uncomfortably.
Mingi, who had heard the shout as well, got straight to work in soothing San.
“I’m sure everythings fine.” The omega reassured him, moving San’s head so that it was resting in his lap, running his fingers through San’s hair. Although the action was undeniably soothing, San still felt on edge, and he knew that it wouldn’t go away until he had all of his mates in the nest with him.
The door to the nest opened, and they were met with the face of a very nervous Jongho.
“Mingi hyung, do you have your phone?” The youngest asked, as he eyed the nest up, clearly nervous about something, San began to sit up. He wanted to pull the youngest into the nest and make him rest so that he would forget about what was stressing him out so much.
“I have it.” Mingi replied, pulling the device out of his pocket.
“Maknae, come here.” San requested, the youngest shuffled his feet awkwardly looking between him and whatever was happening in the hallway.
“Jongho, now.” San demanded, upset by the fact that something was distressing his mate and he couldn’t see what it was. When San spoke to him like that, Jongho’s head snapped to attention and he immediately followed the demand, but coming to a stop at the foot of the mattress.
His mate was hesitating again, and that would not do.
San lunged upwards and pulled the youngest into the nest, positioning himself so that he was blocking the door from the view of the youngest member. His hands reached for the hoodie that he had selected earlier, he didn’t even give Jongho a chance to protest as he moved his mate around to dress him in the piece of clothing.
Mingi was sitting beside them, but he was frowning down at his phone while frantically typing, San turned his attention back to his maknae, who was now pinned underneath him, and fully bearing his throat to San.
He had no hesitation about biting at his mate’s marks, San licked and kissed at Jongho’s neck until it was completely covered in his marks.
Besides making his mate smell completely like him, San had an ulterior motive for scenting Jongho so thoroughly, and that was when Jongho was fully relaxed he had a tendency to be less cautious about what he said.
“Baby, what’s going on?” San pressed, Jongho bit down on his lip, clearly trying to hold back his response, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to on top of Jongho’s, he pulled back after a moment.
“Jongho?” He questioned, forcing the youngest to meet his gaze.
“If I tell you, you’re going to be upset.” Jongho said.
“Is everyone okay?” San asked, panic brewing underneath his skin and brewing in his scent.
“I don’t know.” Jongho answered, and San knew it was the truth. His eyes flickered between the nest and the closed door, both wanting to stay here where it was safe and smelled like home, but desperately needing all of his mates to be here where he could see and smell them.
The door opened and San was both happy and worried to see the rest of his mates standing in the doorway, they all filled in, waiting at the edge of the bed, and San was quick to beckon them in.
But a quick glance over and a sniff of the air made it clear that one of his mates was absent.
He did a double take of the room, just to be sure. He could see that Wooyoung had a familiar hoodie in his arms, and San knew that if he moved closer he would be met with the scent of dead flowers on the object.
It was Hongjoong that sat down in front of him, gesturing for the other alpha to come into his arms, which San did with almost no hesitation. As his captain stroked his back, San finally broke the almost silent room, the only sound was everyone else tapping away at their phones.
“Hyung, what’s happened?”
San had suspicions, the fact that Yeosang wasn’t here where he was meant to be, could only mean a few things.
“I’m going to fix it, San.” His head alpha reassured him, but it was anything but because San didn’t know what needed to be fixed, well he did. He needed Yeosang in here along with everyone else, so that he could keep him safe from the cruel world that seemed so insistent on hurting his mate, no matter how good he was.
“Sannie.” Wooyoung’s hand joined Hongjoong’s on his back.
San tilted his head back, seeing that there were tears welling up in his mates eyes, he pulled away from his leader to kneel down in front of the omega, using his fingers to wipe away the tears that were pouring down his mates face. He kept making noises that were mixed with confusion and panic, he somehow wrangled Wooyoung into the baggy black shirt that had picked out early, and cradled his mate in his lap.
Throughout all of it though, Wooyoung hadn’t let go of Yeosang’s hoodie.
“Where is he?” San whispered to Wooyoung once the tears had halted, he could see and hear his mate taking a steadying breath.
“I don’t know.” Wooyoung leaned in closer to him, taking hold of his face. “He’s not answering his phone and we don’t know where he is Sannie.” Wooyoung looked like he was about to cry again, and San was not too far behind him.
Everything in his body came to a halt, and there was one thought flashing through San’s mind.
He’s not safe.
Yeosang could be anywhere in the world right now, he could be with anyone. And none of them would be able to get to him.
He’s not going to come back.
Was something that flashed through his head, San still hadn’t moved, when Mingi came to hug him from the side. Having both Mingi and Wooyoung’s touch was enough to bring San back to the present and what was happening in front of him.
“Why don’t you scent everyone Sannie, make sure we all smell like you?” Mingi suggested and San loved that idea, scenting all-
But it wasn’t all of them, it was seven of them here.
And San would openly admit that he wasn’t the best at math, but he knew enough to know that seven wasn’t eight. And they weren’t complete if all eight of them weren’t together.
“That’s right Sannie, you can scent us one at a time, and whoever isn’t being scented will keep trying to find Sangie.” Hongjoong encouraged, this was in no way the ideal situation, but San wasn’t so far gone into his rut that he couldn’t be reasoned with yet.
So thus began the cycle, he started with Wooyoung, since the omega was still in his arms.
Scenting Wooyoung, did ease some of the tension in San’s heart. He and Wooyoung had always understood each other, with or without words. The two of them just clicked together, often being on the same wavelength about most things. Like they were about Yeosang’s absence right now, as he kissed Wooyoung’s neck, he was reminded of a story Wooyoung had told him, it had happened before they had fully become a pack.
___________________________________________________________________
They had been sitting in San’s room, not being overly touchy, but simply sharing the space of San’s bed, while a drama played on the laptop in front of them.
San had thought it had been a great day.
Dance practice had finished early, Hongjoong was home from the studio today as well, and the captain and Seonghwa had gone to go pick them up dinner. Jongho had gone out with some friends for the night, and San knew that all of them were periodically sending texts to check in on their maknae. Mingi and Yunho were down the hall playing games and Yeosang had gone to the company to run some choreo, and he was due to be getting back some time soon.
That sometime soon came as soon as the credits to the drama he and Wooyoung had been watching rolled. Both he and Wooyoung’s heads perked up at the sound, and they both recognized the lavender scent of their team member.
But something twitched in Wooyoung’s face, which had San immediately being extra observant of the beta’s entry into their home. Yeosang didn’t pass his door, not surprising considering his and Wooyoung’s door was right next to his and Jongho’s room.
San did hear the sound of a door shutting, and watched as Wooyoung leaned a little closer to the wall, now if the dorm had been filled with all of them as usual, San was a hundred percent sure that the sounds they heard would’ve been drowned out by everyone moving about.
But because everything was so quiet, he and Wooyoung didn’t miss the sound of sobs coming from the room next to them. Immediately San was sitting up, and ready to go see the beta and see what was wrong.
Then Wooyoung tugged at his sleeve and shook his head, gesturing that San come back to the bed. San was torn between wanting to go see Yeosang and listening to Wooyoung, but he knew that by Wooyoung’s insistent tugging, he would have to listen to the omega before they got anywhere.
He sat back down on the bed, and Wooyoung sat up and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and leaned his head close to San’s ear so that they could speak quietly without their friend hearing, though San was sure Yeosang was to busy sobbing his eyes out to really care about what they were saying on the other side of the wall.
“Just give him a bit of space right now, Sangie won’t talk about it if we go bursting in there.”
“Bu-” San began to argue against the point being made but Wooyoung sent him a look that told him to shut his mouth.
“I know it sucks, because all you want to do as hold him close and shield him away from the rest of the world, but I learnt that you have to let him be the one to come to you.” Wooyoung glanced towards the wall behind him, where the sound of the sobs was slowly quieting. “Or you have to give him some time before you can go to him, because if you go to him when he’s like this, the only thing he’ll do is pull away.”
San nodded, both understanding what Wooyoung was saying but despising it at the same time.
“You know, he let me cry into his arms for three hours straight one time.” Wooyoung said, a sad smile overcoming his beautiful face, but San didn’t say anything knowing that the other had more to say, but he did move his arm to wrap around his friend's waist.
“We had a tough evaluation that day, the instructor had said some really harsh and cruel things to all of us, but it had just gotten to me.” San couldn’t hear the sobs anymore, but he turned most of his attention to Wooyoung.
“We got back to the dorm, and I just fell into his arms and cried.” Wooyoung glanced at the wall behind them. “He held me the entire time and told me everything that he loved about me, then when I was done crying, he tucked me into bed and made me drink like three glasses of water.” The omega let out a fond chuckle at the end of his sentence, but San saw that a flicker of sadness went through his eyes, and the boy’s shoulders slumped when he spoke again.
“I woke up that night and found him crying his eyes out as quietly as he could manage, and you know what he said?”
San shook his head.
“He said that he was sorry for waking me up and he could go sit outside until he had calmed down.” Wooyoung was curling his hands into fists.
“I was so mad at him.” Wooyoung’s voice was getting a little louder.
“Why hadn’t he come to me? I was right there you know, he could have joined me in bed for all I cared and I would’ve held him as well, I could’ve told him everything that I loved about him as well.” The omega took a steadying breath, his voice lowering back to the original quiet tone that they had taken.
“There’s so much to love about Sangie.”
San hummed in agreement.
“But Yeosang doesn’t think there’s much to love about him, which means he won’t accept anything he doesn’t think he deserves.”
San frowned, knowing exactly what Wooyoung meant.
Yeosang was someone who deserved every good thing that came his way, but the beta saw himself unworthy of the kindness that he so freely gave to the world, that he wouldn’t accept it.
He hated that Yeosang felt that he had to lock himself away from them, as if a few tears would scare any of them off.
“I think it’s been long enough.” Wooyoung noted, glancing at the time on his laptop. “I’m going to take him some water, don’t mention what happened though, not unless he brings it up with you.”
San removed his arm from Wooyoung, watching as the omega left his room, he heard the sound of the tap, then Wooyoung’s footsteps as he approached his and Yeosang’s room.
San couldn’t hear the conversation that took place, but later after a very quiet dinner and when they were all getting ready for bed, Wooyoung had led Yeosang into his room.
“Can Sangie and I stay in here tonight?” Wooyoung asked, and there was no world in which San would turn that down, and he eagerly agreed.
Seeing as Jongho was going to be away for the whole night, San assumed that the two would occupy the maknae’s bed, but he was pleasantly surprised to find that Wooyoung ushered Yeosang over to San’s bed.
The alpha happily shifted to the side, making room for the two. Wooyoung insisted that Yeosang get in first, so that he would be wedged in between the two of them.
We’ll keep him safe.
San eagerly thought, as Wooyoung snuggled against the beta’s otherside, San pressing himself to his other.
Yeosang was yet to say anything, in fact he looked close to being fully asleep, but there was still some tension in his face.
San reached out his hand and took hold of Yeosang’s own.
“You can sleep, we’re always going to be here for you.” He whispered out.
Yeosang smiled.
“Thank’s Sannie, you always make me feel safe.” The words were sleepily mumbled out, but it made San’s heart soar. Wooyoung had already fallen asleep as well, Yeosang fully succumbing to his tiredness as well, San smiled at the two of them and but he made a vow to himself that night, before he himself fell into the land of dreams
I’ll keep them safe, no matter what.
_________________________________________________________________________
He finished scenting Wooyoung, but the memory of that night still plagued his thoughts, knowing that he had failed in that vow he had made.
His mates, sensing his distress were quick to push him towards Seonghwa, he gently led San’s face to rest near his scent glands.
“So good.”
“Such a good alpha.”
“Keeps us safe.”
But his hyungs praise did nothing for him right now, not when he knew that none of it was true.
He actually pulled away from his hyung, only to start crying he reached out for Wooyoung, and tugged at the hoodie in the omega’s hold until he let go of it.
As soon as the fabric was in his grasp, San buried his face into it.
It was currently the only thing that he had that smelt freshly like Yeosang, and it acted as a reminder of all of his failures as a mate.
So many things were flashing through his head, and he could feel himself spiralling.
He kept thinking about Yeosang out in the world smelling like this, and San knew that his mate was going to get hurt, he had already been hurt and San had done nothing. And now nobody knew where Yeosang was.
He could be with other people, people who would hurt him, people that would take Yeosang away from them forever.
He could be dead.
That thought, has the sobs fully falling out him and he can’t do anything to stop them, he just pushes his face further into the hoodie and keeps thinking about the fact that Yeosang could be dead.
His mate could be dead, and he keeps seeing these horrible images of Yeosang, beautiful and kind Yeosang, scared, alone and dead somewhere, where nobody would ever be able to get to him.
He could hear voices around him, but there all muffled and he can't figure out who’s talking, nor can he smell, because his senses are being overwhelmed by the dead flower scent from the hoodie he’s holding his face against, but he can feel a question coming out in between the sobs.
“Where’s my mate?”
He keeps asking over and over again, because he needs to know where Yeosang is.
Yeosang doesn’t even need to come back to them anymore, all San needed was to know that Yeosang was somewhere they could reach him. But they didn’t know, nobody knew and Yeosang might be gone forever.
So he kept asking, because there was no other choice left, it was the only thing that he could do right now. Hold onto Yeosang’s scent and ask anyone where his beta was.
______________________________________________________________________
San doesn’t know how long he’s been crying, but he knows he had stopped caring about tears streaming down his face long ago, his mouth was only opening for two things right now. To let out the sound of his sobs and ask the same question over and over again, he had not once lifted his head from the hoodie in his hand, afraid that if he lifted his head he would have to be meant with the harsh reminder that his mate wasn’t here.
San knew Yeosang wasn’t here, which is why he kept asking:
“Where’s my mate?”
But even if anyone had answered them, he blocked out anything that wasn’t about focusing on Yeosang’s scent.
San didn’t notice his mates shifting about him, he didn’t notice Hongjoong and Wooyoung hurriedly exiting the nest, he didn’t notice Hongjoong coming back sometime later trying to get him to lift his head from the hoodie, he didn’t notice the door to the nest opening and closing again.
But he did notice when a small hand came to rest on top of his and a familiar voice called out:
“Sannie?”
He lifted his head from the hoodie, and was met with a heavenly sight.
His mate was here, he was here and he was touching San so softly and gently and being everything that San had been scared of losing. San lunged for his mate, tucking him in between the bed and him and he began to scent the beta all over.
San had not lost his beautiful mate, and he was going to make sure that the whole world understand that.
Between every kiss and lick that he placed on Yeosang’s neck, he kept whispering the promise:
“Mine.”
Yeosang was his, his to hold, his to love, his to take care of and San would ensure that nothing ever got in the way of that again.
He could see that the scenting was having the intended effect on the beta, he was fully relaxing under San and looked like he was close to drifting off to sleep, but San needed to make one thing clear before his mate closed his eyes. So he held Yeosang’s angelic face, pressing their foreheads together and making their eyes meet, and decided to make sure that Yeosang understood the most important thing of all.
“My mate.” He said, with all the conviction that he could manage in that moment.
But the words seemed to upset Yeosang, he could smell wilted flowers and the beta tearing his gaze away from him. He let out a displeased grumble and followed his mates gaze.
“You’re sad.” He stated plainly, knowing he was close to tears again.
Yeosang reached a hand up to him, and ran his fingers through his hair and San couldn’t help but lean into the gesture, but the beta’s words were far from comforting.
“It’s alright, you don’t have to take care of me San.”
He could only let out a distressed whine and hold onto Yeosang tighter after that.
Didn’t the beat know that they had ended up like this because San hadn’t taken care of him like he should have? That from now on San was going to do everything that he could to make sure that Yeosang would not need to lift a single pretty finger of his?
“Have to keep you safe.” He whispered out, moving his face to push his nose against Yeosang’s, but the second there was contact the beta spoke again:
“No you don’t, you don’t have to do anything Sannie.”
But San definitely did, so he once again began to mouth at Yeosang’s scent glands, taking absolute delight in seeing his mate relaxing and finally letting himself be pulled into the lul of sleep.
When Yeosang’s eyes were shut, San pressed a kiss against the birthmark on the side of his mates face and whispered:
“Mine, going to keep you safe.”
After that there was a bit of fuss as he got the rest of his mates to help dress Yeosang in the clothes that he picked out earlier, then rearranged the nest so that it was safe and comfy, then when he was finally happy with the arrangement.
He got each of his mates position somewhere around Yeosang, so that they could all fall asleep surrounding the beta with the love and care that he deserved.
San was also quick to fall asleep once he was settled, being exhausted from the rush of emotions that he had experienced today, but he knew it was alright. He pushed himself right up against Yeosang’s scent gland and breathed his mate in.
Good, right where he should be.
________________________________________________________________________
San woke next to the slightly angry scent of his captain and the growing sad scent of Yeosang, which would not do.
“Will talk later, right now you are going to let San scent you to his heart's content.” The voice of his head alpha said, and San was all too happy to jerk his head up from his spot on Yeosang’s neck so that he could pepper kisses all over his mate.
“Sangie, I missed you.” He whined out, kissing Yeosang to his heart's content.
“Sorry Sannie.” The beta told him, as he moved his head back making more room for San to work with.
He buried his face into his mates neck, but made a displeased noise when he noticed the absence of the other familiar scents.
“Mingi, here.” He called out, as he pulled Yeosang upwards.
“Scent Sangie with me, doesn’t smell like home.” He explained, Mingi was quick to move into a position that would allow both him and San to scent their gorgeous mate.
“Hi baby, so happy to have you home.” He heard Mingi sigh out from over the top of Yeosang’s head.
The omega kept whispering praises to their beta as he scented along with San, and once he was fully satisfied that Yeosang smelt more like home, he let them lay down on the bed again.
“Did you eat anything at the company yesterday, Yeosang?” Their oldest hyung questioned from somewhere beside them.
“No hyung.” San was glad that he was not the only one who let out a displeased sound to their mates answer.
“You didn’t have breakfast yesterday either did you?” The eldest pressed on.
“No.” The beta grumbled out, clearly not happy about being put on the spot like this, and San tightened his hold on his mate, becoming increasing aware that maybe his mate was just a bit to small for his liking.
“Sangie, you also didn’t have dinner the night before.” Hongjoong hissed out, and before San could even react, Wooyoung beat him to the punch.
“I am getting you food, and you are going to sit in San’s lap as I feed you however much I see fit.” The omega demanded, shoving at San’s shoulder urging him to move upwards with Yeosang, which he was quick to do.
Shuffling themselves so that Yeosang was tucked in between his legs, his back resting on San’s chest, and San’s chin resting over the top of the beta’s shoulders. Very quickly, Wooyoung returned, sitting down in front of them with a bowl and spoon in hand.
San watched as Wooyoung placed some rice on the spoon and lifted it in front of their mates face.
“Here.” The omega encouraged, but San could feel Yeosang tensing up in his hold.
“Youngie, you don't have to, I’m not really hungry anyway.” The beta said, but that would not do, so San moved his head to lightly nip at the back of Yeosang’s neck. When he lifted his eyes he could see the anger building up in Wooyoung.
“No Sangie, I very clearly have to since you won’t take care of yourself.” Wooyoung spat out, attempting to shove the spoon towards Yeosang’s face again, but Yeosang tilted his head upwards and said:
“That’s why I left.” His mate said, like it explained everything, but it only left them all with more questions.
Because he couldn’t understand why Yeosang wouldn’t let them take care of him in the way that he deserved, in the ways that they wanted to take care of Yeosang, the ways that they needed to take care of Yeosang.
San was grumbling against Yeosang’s neck a bit, trying to make his confusion evident.
“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to take care of me, because I know I can be a bit of an inconvenience.”
Before San could even react, Wooyoung beat him to the punch once again.
Wooyoung took hold of Yeosang’s face, tilting his head upwards so that the beta wouldn’t be able to look away from him, San took advantage of the position to mouth at Yeosang’s scent glands.
“You are not an inconvenience.” Wooyoung firmly said, and when Yeosang tried to make a rebuttal, San heard Wooyoung cutting him off, with the statement:
“You are our mate Yeosang.”
San began sucking on Yeosang’s scent glands after that, trying to make it very clear where Yeosang belonged.
“But I shouldn’t be.” Yeosang stated, and San felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water over his body. His mouth released from Yeosang’s neck, but his arms were still firmly locked around the beta.
But even with his body pressed against Yeosang’s he couldn’t miss the unmistakable scent of Hongjoong’s rage.
“San let go of him.” His alpha demanded, San didn’t even hesitate at the order, letting go of Yeosang’s body and instead seeking refuge in the hold of Wooyoung’s arms.
They watched as Hongjoong approached the beta and pinned him down to the bed, clearly asserting his authority over all of them, it spoke volumes to their trust in him as no one moved to intervene, knowing that their leader was only doing what he deemed necessary.
“I’m giving you a chance to explain what you meant by that Yeosang.” Their captain spoke at their mate, they watched as Yeosang looked away from the leader and very quietly said:
“It means that I know my place Hyung.”
Hongjoong nipped at Yeosang’s lips and demanded that their mate keep his eyes on him, Yeosang complied.
“You think that you don’t deserve to be here because you’re a beta.” Hongjoong stated, having reached a conclusion, one that San was sure that was unfortunately correct.
“It’s not just that Hyung.” Yeosang said, his voice loudest that San had heard it in the while, none of them said anything, and Yeosang clearly saw it as permission to keep speaking.
“He was right you know? I don’t really do much, I don’t sing as well as I should, my dancing is passable at best, and well I guess my visuals are the only thing that really keeps me in the group.”
San could smell the way that everyone’s scents in the room sharpened.
He could also see tears were beginning to stream down Yeosang’s face, but unlike last time, none of them were going to let Yeosang go, he would not be alone through any of this.
“I also know that I’m not a very good mate and I’m so sorry for everything, I mean look at the mess I’ve made in the last twenty four hours, all those comments I read about me being useless to you guys were right.”
Oh no.
San thought, things snapping into place. While he had been alone, Yeosang had read hate comments, which had probably only fueled his fears and insecurities. Yeosang had most definitely looked at more than three as well, but no one had been there for him to go to, so he had taken those awful words as truth.
Somehow not being able to see that he was anything but useless.
Yeosang was not useless, and San was going to fight anyone who ever said that from here on out.
“You guys don’t need me here, I don’t need to be here, one of those comments said that everything would be better if I just went away forever.”
Yeosang’s voice had gotten quieter again.
But the words didn’t have any less of an impact.
Couldn’t Yeosang see that him being gone for a few hours had been enough to almost tear everything apart, if Yeosang went away forever-
San couldn’t even finish that thought, because Yeosang began to say:
“I can leav-” But the beta’s foolish statement was cut off by the head alpha biting at his mating mark.
Yeosang gasped, San watched as his hyung pulled away from where he had bitten down and lovingly placed a kiss to the skin, but he looked deadly serious as he pulled away to speak again.
“Let me make something very clear, my mate.” Hongjoong had begun to run his hands possessively all over Yeosang’s body.
“You are ours, you are my mate, you are part of this pack.” Hongjoong’s hands came to a rest on Yeosang’s waist. “Which I am in charge of, which means I decide who gets to leave, and you are not going anywhere anytime soon.”
Hongjoong made a quick gesture, beckoning them all to come over to their mate.
“Nobody gets to take you away from us, not even yourself.” The captain told Yeosang, Wooyoung rested a hand on top of Yeosang’s stomach. San could see that Jongho was at the top of the beata’s head, gently playing with the locks of hair
“You will let us take care of you, because we need to Sangie.” Hongjoong explained, as they all shifted around the beta, San watched as Yunho gently held onto Yeosang’s hand, Mingi had taken hold of the other.
“We need to know that you’re safe, that you’re happy and if you aren’t we need to fix that.” Hongjoong stated, moving slightly to make room for Seonghwa and him, Seonghwa pressed up against one side of Yeosang’s neck.
“Because we love you Yeosang, we love you so much and nothing is ever going to change that.”
After that San pressed into the otherside of his mates neck, lightly licking at the skin there. There was a moment of silence then Yeosang spoke through a teary voice:
“I love you, all of you.”
None of them missed the pleased huff that their leader let out after the words were spoken.
“Good.” Hongjoong happily chirped out, moving to rest his head on top of Yeosang’s chest.
“Now we're all going to take a nap just like this, then when we get up you’ll let Wooyoung feed you some food and from there will let San decide how best to take care of you.” The head alpha mumbled against the fabric of the hoodie that he had tucked Yeosang in earlier.
“My pretty mate, not letting you go, ever .” San vowed, pressing a kiss to Yeosang’s birthmark in a silent promise to himself and his mate.
Besides San already had a million ideas about how to spoil Yeosang over the rest of his rut.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Yeosang promised, smiling over at San.
No, you aren't.
He thought pressing another kiss to Yeosang’s cheek.
But if you do, I will find you.
San swore to himself, knowing that this was a promise that he would never break.
