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Miyuki Kazuya was Sawamura’s first crush and the last crush he’ll have for awhile, he was the first person he truly desired. The person he yearned for attention– wanting him to catch his pitches since the spring of his last year of middle school. Sawamura couldn’t forget that day, he couldn’t and wouldn’t forget Miyuki calling him partner, the first person to call him partner.
He never really had crushes throughout his life, his childhood friends would ramble about their hallway crushes or chatting into each other’s ears on whos the cutest in the room; Sawamura never caught onto that, he never understood it, all he knew were fantasies from manga.
It was the beginning of his second year in Seido where Sawamura truly realized his feelings towards the third year catcher, the catcher who made him come to Seido. He gradually came to a conclusion as they slowly became closer due to them being the main battery during high school. Those feelings he was experiencing were someone who was in love.
Sawamura felt embarrassed once he acknowledged his affection towards Miyuki, he couldn’t publicly announce his problems to anyone nor Miyuki about it. Liking Miyuki was unbearable for him, getting all jittery as they talked about the numbers, slightly shaking with nervousness when they were close to each other, shivers would run down his spine when they met eyes as Miyuki called for pitches.
Sawamura knew he wasn’t able to hold it in, to cope with his desired feelings; he decided to write letters on how he felt for the other, how he would admire Miyuki from afar, confessing his love on a tucked piece of paper. Starting from the beginning of his second year he would write love letters every week— he didn’t plan on stopping writing notes or letters, he felt content with them. Once he was finished writing the letters, he folded them into twos, placing them into a small heart shaped container. Sawamura hid them under his bed, not wanting others to notice, especially Kuramochi.
Now Sawamura is in Meiji, though it's still his first year there. He came to Meiji– chasing Miyuki in his steps, like he did a few years ago. His feelings never changed but instead, Sawamura fell harder than before, it wasn’t just a simple little crush he’d had during high school. Miyuki was someone he loved.
He continued writing, writing his heart out throughout his third year and now entering his first year of university, he knew it was an unrequited love, he knew Miyuki wouldn’t be able to return the same feelings he had. Sawamura thought it was okay, watching someone you fall for being with someone else. All these mindless thoughts he had about Miyuki, he wrote it even if it was silly, it wasn’t like Miyuki would see them anyways.
Sawamura smiled softly as he held out a piece of paper in front of him, rereading the piece he wrote. He got out of his chair as it squeaked, he went to his bed, plopping his knees onto the carpeted floor bending down to reach the small container that was hidden beneath the bed frame. He groaned once his fingertips touched the smooth box, pulling it out. He lifted open the container, being greeted with a pile of folded up papers; he grabbed the newest piece of paper that was sitting next to him, folding it into fours as he placed it on top of the pile, adding it to his collection. Sawamura smiled, at the sight– closing the box, patting the box like it was like a pet.
His phone pinged, it was a text notification. Sawamura perked up at the noise, looking at the direction of his phone. He got up from his knees, making his way to his desk, Sawamura looked at the lit up phone screen, grabbing it quickly as he just got a notification from Miyuki; his eyes brightened, grinning from ear to ear. He read the text message as it read, I’m on my way.
He couldn’t contain his joyment, Miyuki was heading over to Sawamura’s apartment— they decided to catch up on their lives as it has been a few months since they last saw each other and other important things like baseball or maybe… their love lives.
Sawamura heard the doorbell ring, he pushed back the container quickly as he swiftly made his way to the front door. He opened the door roughly, his smile beaming at the person in front of him.
“Miyuki!” He cheered as his eyes gleamed, doing little bunny hops. Miyuki chortled, bringing his right hand to Sawamura’s hair, ruffling it– messing up his hair as Sawamura pouted.
“That’s still senpai to you, you brat.” Miyuki stepped into Sawamura’s apartment, closing the door behind him, chuckling as he removed his shoes, putting them off to the side in courtesy.
Sawamura stood still, admiring Miyuki as he was still at his front door. He got a haircut, his fringe was above his thick eyebrows, revealing his sideburns even more, the ends of his hair curling upwards. Miyuki was captivating, he looked even more good-looking since the last time Sawamura saw him.
“What are you looking at?” Miyuki spoke, raising an eyebrow at Sawamura as he steps closer to him, shrugging his bag off his shoulder.
“Ah! C-come in!” He blurted out, getting lost in his thoughts, as he was stopped from analyzing Miyuki’s appearance.
“I’m already inside.” Miyuki teased, chuckling to himself as Sawamura’s ear turned red as he went cat-eyed.
“Oh, there's the cat eyes!” He headed towards the small but cozy living room, decorated with plants and fairy lights.
Sawamura followed behind him, “Do… Do you want anything to drink?” He held his hands behind his back.
Miyuki hummed, “Do you have coffee?” He smirked, knowing Sawamura hated coffee. “No… But I can get some downstairs! It’ll be quick!”
Miyuki cocked his head to the side, “You don’t have too… you know.”
“But I want to! It’s… my way to repay you for coming all the way here! I’ll be back in five minutes!” Sawamura headed towards the front door, grabbing his keys and wallet that were placed on the coffee table.
“Americano, right?” He finger guns Miyuki while he tilted his head to the side, trying to wink with his right eye.
“Yeah, you got that right.” Miyuki scoffed, slightly shaking his head at the gesture Sawamura did. As he sat down on the plush couch, Sawamura poked out his head from the door, “Stay put, don’t leave!” He shouted out, shutting the door closed behind him.
It was peaceful and quiet without him, Miyuki wandered around Sawamura’s small apartment, looking at the furniture and decorations. His apartment was filled with personality, filled with things Sawamura loved, it smelled aromatic and sweet, it smelled like Sawamura and it sure felt like home.
Miyuki opened the door as he stepped into the bedroom, greeted with the same layout as the living room but with more scenery. He walked towards the desk, admiring how decorative it was. Miyuki picked up a picture frame, smiling as soon as he saw the photo— It was when Sawamura graduated Seido, tears flowing down the apple of his cheeks as Kuramochi squeezed one of his reddened cheeks; Miyuki standing next to Sawamura, too busy looking at Kuramochi teasing him. Once he finished reminiscing about the eventful time, he placed the frame back where it was.
He walked towards the bed that was filled with plushies, as Miyuki steps forward, his foot hit against a hard object— slightly tripped over a small box; making him fumble a bit as he looked at the heart shaped box in confusion, the lid was slightly opened from the impact of Miyuki’s foot.
Miyuki grew curious, wondering what was hiding in the box. He sat down next to it, his back against the bed, staring at the box. He was contemplating whether or not to sneak into Sawamura’s belongings. Miyuki gave some thought but decided to do so, thinking about how Kuramochi would barge into Sawamura’s personal space.
He opened the box, surprised as it was just filled with different sizes of paper. Miyuki picked a smaller piece, unfolding it. His eyes widened but soon chuckled at what the note had said, Miyuki praised me today! Miyuki placed back the note as he grabbed another small piece of paper, Ugh! Why is he so handsome today! He skimmed through the smaller pieces as he laughed at some.
His curiosity grew— he reached for a larger piece of paper, studying the black ink poking through. He unfolded the letter slowly, it was folded exactly three times. His eyes perplexed as his eyes reached the first line, it was for him, he read the following content,
Dear, Miyuki
By the time you’ll read this is when you will finally graduate from Seido, from the moment we met in my last year of middle school, the moment you asked to catch my pitches, from the moment you called me partner, I couldn’t forget that day. You were the reason why I came to Seido.
I’ve kept my feelings for you contained in my heart for as long as I can. I am in love with you. My feelings grew everyday and will still grow with every passing minute. Your stupid handsome and pretty face, your ugly, nasty personality, always teasing me… but I love everything about it, I love everything about you. Seeing you up close and seeing your smile always makes my heart skip a beat. I always wanted you to acknowledge me, I still do, I still want to be your battery partner, constantly following your steps as I put all of my trust into your mitt. You mean so much to me.
I was afraid, afraid of you not reciprocating my feelings, afraid of the future. I told myself I would take the risks of keeping my feelings hidden because it was the only remedy that could unburden this feeling. I was a coward, I’m sorry. I wanted to run away, run from the earth with you as I am in love with you and have been in love for the past years.
Dearest, Sawamura Eijun.
Miyuki’s eyes gazed at the letter between his hands, astonished. His heart was beating in a fast rhythmic pace, he felt joy, he felt happiness, sharing the same feelings towards each other for so long.
He started to smile, softly chuckling as he skimmed the letter one more time.
Sawamura got back to his apartment, “I’m back!” He giggled, juggling with a cup of coffee and hot chocolate in his hands. It was silent, he slightly frowned at the sudden quietness.
He placed the drinks on the shared kitchen table, looking side to side for Miyuki. He walked towards his bedroom, he smiled as soon as he saw Miyuki sitting down on the floor, “Ah! Mi-“ He gasped loudly, startling the other.
Sawamura saw the heart shaped box opened beside Miyuki, along with a letter in his hands, “That’s not what it looks like!” He yelled out, as soon Miyuki made eye contact with him, he dashed into his room, trying to pry the letter off of Miyuki’s bare hands.
In the process of trying to take the letter out of Miyuki’s hand without causing damage to the paper, he got annoyed as Miyuki kept laughing at the sight of Sawamura demanding to give him the letter. He kept trying to grab the letter, as he kept trying– he tripped over his own foot, making him tumble between Miyuki’s legs, causing him to be on top of him as Miyuki was laying against the hard wooden floor.
Their faces were deadly close to each other, lips almost touching. Miyuki’s laughter slowly died out as they continued looking into one another’s eyes— being able to see the color of their eyes perfectly.
As they gazed into each other’s eyes for a few moments, Sawamura snapped back into reality, realizing the situation— slowly turning bright red like a tomato, he abruptly pushed himself off of Miyuki, “Wah! I’m so sorry!” Sawamura hurriedly got off of Miyuki, sitting next to him, covering his face in his knees.
“I’m so embarrassed.” Sawamura murmured, his words muffled from his face being buried between his knees. Miyuki got up from the cold floor, shifting his body to sit next to Sawamura.
“Sawamura.” Miyuki spoke softly, staring at his fluffy brown hair. There was no response from the other. Miyuki sighed, “Sawamura. Look at me.”
Sawamura shifted his head to look at Miyuki, his head was still on his knees as his face still beat red as his eyes glistened while his bottom lip jutted out. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Miyuki cocked his head on the side, matching with Sawamura.
“Tell you what?” He asked dumbfoundedly, oblivious to the fact Miyuki read his love confession on a piece of paper. Miyuki scoffed, “That you… like me?” He raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
“So, you read it.” He looked Miyuki in the eyes as his own eyes began to water. “I understand if you don’t return the same feelings.” He turned his head the other direction, not wanting to see Miyuki’s face.
“Sawamura…” Miyuki lifted his hand to ruffle his hair, fidgeting with the strands of hair as he bit his own lips nervously, “When did I say I didn’t return the same feelings?”
Silence was only to be heard until Sawamura turned around to face Miyuki as fast as he could, almost giving himself whiplash. “Eh?” He shifted his body, facing towards Miyuki, “What do you mean?” He suddenly grabbed Miyuki’s collar in habit, wrinkling his shirt. Miyuki let out a small airy laugh, placing his hand on top of Sawamura's, which was gripping his shirt. He held onto his hand, holding it as he brought them down their laps as he intertwined their fingers.
“I like you too, Sawamura.” Miyuki brought up his other hand, brushing his fingers against Sawamura’s flushed cheeks. “Since when?” Sawamura's voice quivered, a small droplet of tears flowing down one side of his cheek as Miyuki’s hand was already ready to catch it.
“Ever since you came to Seido.” He smiled fondly at him, caressing Sawamura’s wet eyelashes with his thumb. “I thought I was obvious about my feelings” Miyuki chuckled, “But since you were so oblivious, you haven’t noticed.”
Sawamura leaned forward, his head buried into Miyuki’s chest— his tears staining his shirt, “I’m so glad.” He murmured, still sobbing into his chest.
“Now, tell me— why haven’t you said anything at my graduation?” Miyuki brought him into his lap, his hand on his backside as Sawamura’s legs were now straddling him as he stroked his hair softly, his other hand rubbing Sawamura’s back in small circular motion.
He hesitated for a moment, “I was scared, Miyuki. I was scared.” His face was now in the crook of Miyuki’s neck. “I regret it, not telling you… on the day you left Seido.” Sawamura sighed, lifting his upper body off of Miyuki as he looked at him, “Now I’m glad you read it.” He laughed, wiping the remaining tears on his cheeks.
Miyuki licked his lips, “Dear, Sawamura.” He looked down, trying to keep his cool, not wanting to ruin the perfect moment they had. He intertwined his fingers with Sawamura’s, his calloused hand rubbing against his soft skin, “I love you.”
Sawamura’s mouth gaped, his eyes widened. Before he could form a thought, he pulled Miyuki in— kissing him, feeling the chapped lips against his. Miyuki was taken aback at first but quickly regained his composure, he didn’t want to waste any more time, Miyuki held Sawamura’s head as he deepened the kiss, moving at a slow and steady pace. Miyuki was kissing Sawamura, Sawamura was kissing Miyuki, the world around them suddenly didn’t matter— it was meaningless.
Sawamura’s hands were tangled up in Miyuki’s hair, his nails slightly scraping against his scalp. Miyuki licked Sawamura’s bottom lip, slowly sliding his tongue into his mouth— meshing their tongues together.
As much as Sawamura hated being apart from Miyuki, he desperately gasped for air, slowly pulling away from Miyuki with half lidded eyes, he slowly got out of his daze; smooshing his head back onto Miyuki’s chest, hearing his heartbeat. Sawamura hit Miyuki’s shoulder repeatedly as he cried out, “You don’t know how happy I am, Miyuki.” His smile beamed, kissing Miyuki once again, getting addicted to the taste of his lips.
Dear, Sawamura
Everyday for the past few years, you were always on my mind. Your silly little smile, your loud voice, how stupid you can be. I fell in love with you because of you, I love you, Eijun. Let’s run away to Mars, my love, my universe.