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Rui was not in a good mood.
He was on the way home from one of the country's biggest robotics competitions, where his entire team ditched him at the last second. He never was a particularly forgiving person, but he didn't mind when the same people wouldn't show up to the earlier stages of the tournament since they still managed to win thanks to him. But today was the final round, and the only part of the competition that they should have at least attended. If they had managed to get in the top 3 out of the 25 teams that were in the tournament, they could have gotten scholarships to their dream universities, future job offers, and obviously money. It was a huge deal for everybody involved.
Not to mention the insane media coverage that the tournament had. If you performed well, you could have the chance to even appear in the news, basically giving you nationwide recognition. People from all over Japan had the chance to watch a bunch of 17-year-old geniuses work to make a robot that could shape their future the way they always dreamed of.
And Rui was finally one of them.
He always dreamed of being able to participate in this specific event, so when he approached his school’s robotics club to find others who were interested in forming a team with him, he did not actually consider the possibility of them never showing up to the thing that they specifically agreed on. Though he tried his best and more at the competition, it was impossible to beat teams with 3 or more members that had mastered working together throughout the entire tournament and countless hours of training. Just the fact that he managed to get fifth place by himself was insanely impressive, especially to the rest of the competitors, who all made sure to congratulate him both before and after the placements were announced.
But that wasn't enough.
He wanted the results that he worked so hard for. The results he always dreamed of.
It felt weird how he was the only one with this dream. It distanced him from the rest of his "teammates" even though they were all into robotics. They were on different levels, and Rui was so, so far away from them, again. Not in terms of talent, but rather in caring about something so important for their futures. It was so bizarre he-
"Rui, sweety, come on, don't think about it too much," his mom said.
He almost forgot they were still in the car. He was staring out the window on the back seat, and it was so dark out that nothing apart from his mother's voice could distract him. He slightly tilted his head to see her. She had turned from the passenger's seat so she could also look at him.
"What those kids did was horrible," she continued, " not only to you but to their own lives. If they were there, you could work more efficiently and get things done quicker. The only reason you didn't get a higher spot was because you didn't have time." She looked defeated and angry, Rui couldn't really tell though since it was so dark, the only light source were the headlights of the car, but still, he could tell from her voice, kind of cracking at some parts. She stopped herself from talking and sighed, "But, in the end, what happened, happened, and there is no changing that now." she reached the back seat and ruffled her son’s hair, "what matters is that you did your best, and for that, we are so proud of you and forever will be."
She smiled warmly at him, and Rui couldn't help but smile back, even if his hair looked like a bird’s nest at that moment. "We love you, kiddo, no matter what." his dad jumped in. He had been awfully quiet during the ride, but it must have been from the sadness he felt, seeing his son get upset over something so unfair.
Rui turned to both with the same smile from before, "Thank you, love you too."
By the time their conversation was over, they had already arrived back home, and after tiredly walking to the front door, his dad's phone rang.While looking for his house keys, he picked it up, "hello? What?! But it is so late. “He paused for a bit, listening to the other line." Ok, I understand we will be there in a bit." he hang up the phone and sighed loudly and a bit dramatically like he always used to. "Corporate called and we need to go look at an emergency at the testing department" he turned to look at his wife, with the most exhausted look a man could have, "they refused to tell me what specifically, but it is of big importance."
Rui’s mom looked at him confused, "But isn't this our day off? Ugh, this is so frustrating", she turned to her son, "Rui I'm sorry we have to go, we can't argue with them you know how it is, I'm really sorry."
Rui knew very well how their company worked. They would just ask their employees to come at work at any point of the day and manage to get away with it. And since his parents worked together, that meant that their superiors would call both to work since, in their words, they were "already with each other." It had to be illegal somehow, but no one had the guts to say anything in fear of being fired.
"it's okay, I understand," he said in response, trying not to look upset so he wouldn't make them feel more guilty than they already did.
"Oh! how about you invite a friend over to hang out, so you don't feel lonely?" his mom proposed as she was heading back to the car.
"Uhhh, I will think about it, thanks though," he said. Who would be able to hang out that late at night, though?
After saying their goodbyes, Rui stepped into his now creepily silent house. He turned some of the lights on so at least the place wouldn't look like there were ghosts in there and sat at the living room's couch. He decided to look for something to distract himself on his phone until he started getting kind of sleepy when his mom's idea popped into his head again.
Who could he hang out with?
He went through his contacts, and since there weren't that many, it didn't take long, and came to realize that almost all of them were either on summer vacation or grounded for some absurd reason.
Apart from one person:
Tsukasa.
He wasn't out of town or grounded, he was exactly what he was looking for. He could call him over to say how his day went and talk about what happened at the tournament. Immediately he picked up his phone to dial his friend but, as he was unlocking it, he looked at the time.
It was 11 57.
He was surely asleep, he had a long day today with some wxs rehearsals and had to do double the work because Rui wasn't there, and if he dared to wake him up now Tsukasa probably wouldn’t speak to him for a day or so.
After placing his phone down, he fell face first on the soft pillows on the living rooms couch and let out a disappointed sigh, in a dramatic manner. For some reason, the thought of Tsukasa not speaking to him for a day made him sad, which was kind of weird because he never felt that way when being separated from his other friends for similar reasons. Of course, he didn't enjoy not seeing Nene whenever they fought and wouldn't speak to each other, but even though they've known own each other for years, the feelings he experienced were different. A sort of different that didn't match at all the emotions he felt when not speaking to Tsukasa specifically and-
His phone suddenly rung.
Maybe his parents forgot something? It hadn't been that long since they left, so they probably came back to pick it up. He didn't bother looking at who it was, his eyelids already close to shut, the couch he was lying on was surprisingly comfortable.
He picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
Did he really sound that tired jeez.
A familiar voice responded, but he was still too sleepy to recognize them completely. "Hey Rui, sorry if I woke you up,"
The now slightly-more-awake Rui was able to realize that the person on the other line was the one and only,
"Tsukasa?"
He almost fell from the couch.
"I figured you wouldn't be asleep right now because of your tournament, so I wanted to call you, see how you're doing."
Rui was, shocked.
Tsukasa never stayed up that late, so it was very unusual for him to call at this hour and let alone want to talk to Rui out of all people. But before he could process his words and stand properly without wobbling, Tsukasa spoke again.
"Actually, I was wondering if I could come over tonight, I mean, we have been talking about having a sleepover for ages, and although it's late, I uhhh..."
Rui chuckled, "That is very sudden, my star, but honestly, I don't see why not."
Rui could hear Tsukasa’s face light up through the phone " Really? Well, then I'm coming over! I really want to know about what happened at the tournament. I heard that it was somewhat of a disaster at some point, someone's robot caught on fire?"
Oh, that.
Rui was so invested in his problems and trying to avoid all the cameras there in embarrassment, that he didn't even pay that much attention to the team next to him whose robot almost set the whole building ablaze. His day was even longer than he initially remembered, but how come Tsukasa knew about it?
"Yeah, thankfully, some other teams were able to help extinguish it, but the whole thing had to be thrown out. It's pretty disappointing, honestly. I really wanted to see that robot in action,"
"At least you made it out of there alive!" he let out a slight chuckle, the ones that tended to keep replaying in Rui’s head for a reason still unknown to him, "anyway, you'll tell me all the details once I get there, yeah?"
"Okay," what was that feeling in his stomach?
The call ended, leaving Rui alone in his house once again. This time, though, with a strange feeling coming from his heart? or maybe stomach, where was that coming from? He started pacing up and down, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. It felt like excitement mixed with anxiety that was somehow pleasant.
What was happening?
Maybe he was excited that somebody was coming over, but that wouldn't explain the anxiety... He couldn't be anxious about having a sleepover, he had had one or two before in the past.
He probably had to see a doctor.
But he didn't have time to book an appointment, he had to tidy his room up because its state was not one that should be shown to the public, so he immediately rushed there. Once he entered, he was greeted by the chaos that was his room.
Random robot parts were almost strategically scattered all over the floor like landmines ready to explode on any unsuspecting visitor, his jacket looked like it was floating in a hanger on the wall because of all the papers full of different ideas for wxs' shows that were carefully placed right next to each other while covering not only the hanger that held the jacket, but also every other wall-like surface in his room, pens and pencils scattered in every place that the human eye could identify as a surface and so much more.
It truly was a mess.
After finally cleaning up most of it and shoving the rest of his things under his couch, he began wondering again. What are people even supposed to do at sleepovers?
The last time he had one was in middle school with Mizuki, and all they did was listen to nightcore while talking about school. Tsukasa probably wouldn't want to do that.
The previous sleepovers he had were with Nene when they were little, and their bedtime was 9 30 or something, so he couldn't use those as a reference either. They were supposed to talk about the competition, but then what? Just awkwardly sit there until they both fell asleep? That wasn't an option. He wanted to give his star the best sleepover in the history of sleepovers, so he decided to ask the most reliable source on the planet.
Google.
Step 1 was snacks.
Rui opened his house's fridge only to be greeted with the cold and harsh wind of the refrigerator telling him that he had already failed as a sleepover host. Right, tomorrow was grocery day, so they didn't have anything apart from some tomatoes and a half-eaten sandwich that Rui was supposed to eat at the competition during a break.
Just his luck.
But that still would not stop him.
After thoroughly searching the cardboards in the kitchen, he was able to find some crisps that didn't somehow expire in 2010. Step one was complete, step-
The doorbell rang.
Shit, he didn't even manage to read step 2, and Tsukasa was already there. The distance between their houses was a 20-minute walk, there was no way that Rui spent fifteen minutes just searching his kitchen's cardboards. Before opening the door, Rui took a glance at his phone.
Only ten minutes had passed.
Tsukasa was able to get there in ten minutes? How was that even possible?
His phone screen turned to black, revealing his own reflection. His panicked face only confirmed the fridge’s harsh words from before. He had indeed failed as a sleepover host.
He opened the door only to be greeted by a sweaty and tired Tsukasa. Had he... run all the way?
He was wearing blue sweatpants, although they might have been black because Rui couldn't really tell since it was dark out and the only light source near his front door was a beaten down streetlight, that desperately needed proper maintenance. His shirt filled with little stars all over peeked through his half-opened jacket that had been adjusted like that because of the presumed running, it was a jacket that he usually wore to practice and sometimes school during the winter. This explained his sweating then, since it was the middle of July, and temperatures were quite high. His face was bright red, and he was panting. He tried slightly leaning on the doorframe of Rui’s house entrance to get some balance, although that didn't prove to be successful. He was also holding onto a plastic bag full of different snacks, both sweet and salty, which would definitely come in handy due to the lack of snacks that Rui's house had.
The only times that he saw him this exhausted were during rehearsals when they had a particularly challenging show, although that didn't happen that often because Rui had made sure to not make their performances too complicated for the sake of everyone's health.
"Tsukasa, did you run to get here? You look very tired. Are you okay?” Rui asked in a panicked tone.
"Ah! This was but a little challenge for a star like me! Really nothing to worry about," the other boy responded between heavy breaths.
There was something to worry about because Tsukasa looked like he was about to pass out, and if Rui didn't do something quick, it would be from exhaustion.
I guess... Rui wasn't a doctor.
He invited him inside and made him sit in the living room's couch, besides his protests that he was in fact okay and not ready to faint, while Rui got him a glass of water. After giving him the glass, he sat beside him to make sure he would be alright. While the water was not a magic potion that would make him immediately feel amazing, Rui noticed that Tsukasa looked a bit more relaxed than before.
"So, what would you like to do?" Rui asked, feeling a weird burning sensation in his cheeks while looking at his equally as red friend.
Tsukasa had every reason to look like that, he run a 20-minute distance in ten minutes while wearing a winter jacket, but Rui had literally no excuse.
Maybe it was a fever that only activated when seeing Tsukasa specifically. He made a mental note to ask Nene about it once she returned from her family vacation because he had noticed the same thing happening to her whenever she was talking to Emu. Seriously, what sort of weird illness has your cheeks getting red and your stomach doing backflips whenever you are close to your best friend? And why do both Nene and Rui have it?
...
Wait.
Rui’s thought process was interrupted by Tsukasa’s answer to his question.
"Well first I was wondering if I could use your bathroom because turns out running here was not one of my brightest ideas, I need to wash my face" he let out a defeated sigh, "but after that I want to know every detail of the tournament! I read some articles about it and watched some clips of it to understand how it worked, but they didn't say anything else apart from some rules, and the fire incident."
Tsukasa read articles about it?
"Yeah, sure take your time. After you're done, we can talk about it all you want. Many interesting things happened,"
"Great!" Tsukasa said excitedly and then headed to the bathroom.
He had read articles about it. He cared enough to go out of his way and learn how the tournament worked without Rui asking for it.
He cared about him.
Rui’s heart was fluttering ready to leave his chest, he truly felt like a teenage girl whose favorite boy band just released a new single.
So, according to all his symptoms, Rui liked Tsukasa.
Well, maybe, it is not like he had experience with that kind of stuff. He only knew the basics from shows or theatre plays he watched that happened to have romantic subplots in them. But what was he supposed to do now?
If he were to tell him their friendship would be ruined, probably, and Rui didn't want that. Tsukasa was one of his only genuine friends, after all. They had never discussed anything related to crushes, though, so he was completely in the dark. Rui didn't know whether Tsukasa even liked guys, but it wasn't like he would have a chance with him anyway. Rui wasn't the most attractive or notable person in Tsukasa’s life, so he most likely only saw him as a friend and stage director, nothing more.
And before his sudden realization, Rui had been okay with that, so he would have to continue accepting it. He had to be extra careful tonight not to mess things up and make his star uncomfortable. Would that be a challenge since he had just now realized his big fat crush on his best friend? Yes, but he would fight these gay thoughts like his life depended on it.
Where even was Tsukasa right now?
Rui had been so absorbed in his thoughts that everything just kind of went black for some time.
How long had he been sitting on that couch for?
After forcing his spaced-out eyes to function, he was greeted by his one and only star sitting just a meter from his face. Saying that he was jump scared would be an understatement because he proceeded to jump from fear, resulting in him falling headfirst on the floor behind the couch.
Tsukasa couldn't help but laugh a bit at how easily his friend got startled, but that giggle was cut short when he realized just how Rui had fallen.
Headfirst, on the wooden floor, with his entire body weighing on his head.
It was a miracle that he survived that.
Rui completely passed out after that, so he was oblivious to the fact that Tsukasa had struggled to get him up from the floor and on the couch while also panicking and frantically checking his pulse every second to make sure he hadn’t died on him.
After regaining consciousness, he began examining his surroundings to the best of his ability. The ground bellow his body was soft and had a familiar texture, so according to that, he was laying on the living rooms couch. His head was positioned a little higher than the rest of his body, not too much though, maybe Tsukasa put a pillow below him. He tried lifting his head a little to see what pillow he used because it felt very unfamiliar. Rui was used to sleeping in every other place apart from his own bed so he had memorized how every pillow felt in any other sleepable surface in his house, so he could tell that something was wrong, had the fall made him forget what the pillows in his house felt like?
He tried turning his head around to see the pattern on it. Were those little stars?
He didn't own a pillow like that but maybe they were dots, and he was too dizzy to tell but his head was a lot better now so that wouldn't make any sense, wait did the pillow just move?
What games was his mind playing with him.
Suddenly, he saw a hand gently brush his hair out of his eyes, and now he could see Tsukasa’s somewhat panicked smile, his face sitting higher and not too far away from his.
Was he in heaven? Had he died? It wouldn't be surprising from that fall.
He was, in fact, very much alive. This was reality, and in that reality, he was lying on Tsukasa’s lap. He tried not to panic when he accidentally made eye contact with him, but instead of him losing it, Tsukasa did, "YOU ARE AWAKE OH THANK GOD," he said while grabbing Rui’s face in a panic.
His heart was flying out of his chest, and he could feel all his blood being transferred to his face that Tsukasa was holding, his hands shaking.
Rui probably looked like a weird tomato with a heart problem, but surprisingly, that wasn't his biggest issue.
The main problem was the way that Tsukasa looked at him, his golden eyes were reflecting the little light entering the room so magically as the rest of it gently hugged his face in a way that made him look like an angel.
Maybe a terrified angel, but that was beside the point. Tsukasa looked perfect, just like the star he was.
"Oh no, you are not answering. That is not good..."Tsukasa continued this time he had lowered his voice, but he managed to sound even more scared than before. "I have seen a couple of things while I was at the hospital with Saki... maybe you have a concussion, oh, that's not good. We need to get you to a doctor, maybe ask for a CT scan, or if you have neck pain, maybe an x-ray-"
"Tsukasa no, wait my star," Rui stopped him, "I’m fine", he held Tsukasa’s hands and pulled them slowly away from his face so he wouldn't feel how hot he was and ask him about it.
"Are you sure, though?" Tsukasa said while grabbing his phone and quickly shining light on Rui’s face, he then, with his other hand, stretched one of Rui’s eyelids and preceeded to try and look inside his eye.
what the fuck
"WHAT ARE Y-", Rui almost got blinded, and this time not by the stars beauty, he pushed Tsukasa’s hands off of his face once again and looked him in the eyes a little more seriously now, even though he was holding in his laughter, “Tsukasa, my star, I told you I'm fine, also, please never do that again."
"It was standard procedure”, he said with a blank expression.
???
He hadn't watched enough doctor shows on tv to know what that meant.
After that incredible interaction, Rui tried getting up from his friend’s lap, but he was stopped by his friend himself.
"No, you are not going anywhere in your condition" he placed his hand on his chest and lowered him slowly back onto his lap, "you must still feel dizzy so it's better to stay still, don't you think?"
Rui got annoyed since he wasn't listening to him, "I-", but then he slowly reevaluated his situation, this was a once in a lifetime experience, laying on his friend while talking about his day and getting his hair stroked by said gorgeous friend.
While feeling all the blood in his body rush to his face once again, he felt,
"d-dizzy."
"Wow you can't even form full sentences, that’s not a good sign just so you know."
Rui shrugged in response and started to take in Tsukasa’s image.
He was wearing matching pajamas, yellow pants with little stars all over them and a yellow shirt with a little star placed right on the place where his heart was. He never understood where Tsukasa managed to find so many stars themed stuff, but he never questioned it.
Tsukasa sighed, breaking the silence between the two and then spoke, "how did you even manage to fall like that? I didn't scare you that bad right?"
"My star, I can assure you, that was not your fault. I was just caught up in thought, so I didn't notice you coming."
Tsukasa looked at him confused "what were you thinking about so intensely that you couldn't see me sitting in front of you for so long?"
Oh, nothing just my strong romantic feelings for you that I just realized that I had, nothing to worry about though. He couldn't say that, I mean he could, and his brain was not against it in the slightest but... his star's answer would probably not be the one he would want to hear.
But then again, he had never thought about it. Of course, Rui could use how Tsukasa generally acted towards him in contrast to other people, to at least speculate what his feelings towards him were, but no matter how observant he was when it came to literally everything else, love wasn't something he was familiar with.
One time during Valentine’s Day, Rui received a box of chocolates and some little handmade gifts from a girl in his class, after going on 7 dates with her and her confessing 3 times, did he realize that she was in fact in love with him and not just being friendly.
He had to very awkwardly explain that he had misunderstood and that he didn't even like girls.
As one would expect, she never spoke to him again, Rui still felt sad about that, she was a nice person.
Apart from that though, he also had never had a genuine crush before. He thought he liked Mizuki at some point in middle school, but a week later he realized that he saw her that way because she was his only friend in a long time, and he just felt lonely.
Back to the subject at hand, Rui made up something on the spot so Tsukasa wouldn't be suspicious of him "Ah, just some new ideas for our next shows. I got some inspiration from the competition this evening."
"I'm sure everyone there must have been insanely creative with their robot designs" Tsukasa said enthusiastically "So I guess it makes sense for you to have been thinking a lot about it, speaking of the tournament, tell me more about it, from start to finish, I want to know everything."
Rui smiled, “Of course, but first let’s go to my room, I will show you some extra details there, also I feel way less dizzy now so I will be fine.”
Tsukasa nodded and after getting his friend of him, they went.
Upon entering his room, Tsukasa let out a horrified shriek since even after Rui “tidied it up” it still looked like a warzone, maybe the papers on the wall were to blame. He ended up getting scolded by his star about how to properly organize his things and even ended up having Tsukasa help him put some things in place before sitting down to talk.
And so, after all that, Rui, with the brightest smile on his face, started talking about the competition in as much detail as he could.
He started talking about his teammates' betrayal, something that Tsukasa took weirdly personally and had now beef with them even though he barely knew their names, then he went on to talk about each team's robot and how he could implement some of their mechanics and designs into future shows, Tsukasa was thrilled by all of his ideas and even added more details to the described designs, and lastly Rui talked about his placement and other little facts about the competition, Tsukasa was a good listener and always tried contributing to the conversation wherever he could, something that made Rui happy because it meant that he was paying attention to him.
2 hours flew by like they were a few minutes leaving Rui exhausted after talking for that long.
After all the walking Rui had done up and down the room, to reenact his day more theatrically, he eventually ended up sitting on the floor while leaning on the couch, that Tsukasa was sitting at, accompanied by a few pillows so his back wouldn't hurt by sitting on the cold hard floor that he previously busted his head on.
He slowly closed his eyes, not from exhaustion or tiredness, but rather because of how content he felt at that moment. He had the chance to share the rest of his quite eventful day with his wonderful troupe leader, with no one to disturb them but the cicadas quietly singing outside.
While opening his eyes he slowly turned his head up towards the other boy.
His face was relaxed and, his eyes were fixated on some sort of paper that was on the wall on the other side of the room while the moonlight's gentle glow was painted on his peaceful face like prettiest painting he has ever seen.
Thankfully he was distracted so Rui could admire him for a little while longer.
But unfortunately for him, the moment didn't last.
“Hey Rui, do you think that-“ Tsukasa said while turning to face him. He wanted to talk about a design he saw on the wall, but his thought process was cut short since he was met with his friend’s eyes staring directly into his soul with the stupidest face, he has ever seen him in. It kind of made him look cute.
Rui immediately averted his gaze and tried pretending to look at something else on the wall too but his scared expression and flashed red cheeks would have given him away even if Tsukasa hadn’t caught him red handed.
“What were you looking at?”, the blond asked. He wasn’t stupid though, of course he knew that he was looking at him, it was painfully obvious. He just wanted to get a reaction since he was always the victim of Rui's teasing, so now that the roles were reversed, it was time to get his blood back.
“Just designs, you know, on the wall. Getting inspiration and uhm ideas.” Rui was quite a good liar, but he couldn’t lie to save his life when in front of Tsukasa because he could see right through him each time, and knowing that, he would always stutter or make himself seem even more guilty.
“Oh really? Which one specifically?”, Tsukasa said, teasingly and moved his face closer to his friend's. He never got to see Rui like that, so defenseless when caught doing something that he “wasn’t supposed to”, he looked embarrassed, and Tsukasa would be lying if he said that the sight in front of him wasn’t a little amusing.
“Umm” Rui had a shit ton of papers on that wall, there was no way that he would be able to pick just one. ”You know, the wing extensions for robonene, did I mention that a robot on the tournament also had that? You should have seen it, it was-”
“That paper is on your right, while you were looking towards my direction, which is to your left. Unless you have eyes on the back of your head then you wouldn’t be able to see it”, Tsukasa interrupted him with a dumb grin on his face.
He realized that Rui’s urge to change the subject meant that he was finally getting through his skin and that gave him more motivation to continue teasing him. He also noticed that the closer he got the redder his friend became so on top of tormenting him verbally he decided to get off the couch and sit on the floor right next to him.
Rui couldn’t figure out whether he was being tortured or having the best day of his life during that moment. “Uhhh right, I knew that” was Tsukasa’s hair always this fluffy and soft looking?
Because of their distance now Rui had become hyper aware of the other boy's features, like his freckles that he always tried to hide with makeup, but Rui thought they are the cutest thing, or his freakishly long eyelashes that suited him so well-
What would it feel like if he were to run his fingers through his hair?
“I saw another paper and it reminded me of it that’s all.”, Rui’s voice was cracking, his face was red, and his palms were as sweaty as a tennis player’s during a game.
“Aha, and why would I believe you over my flawless intuition?”, he asked. Rui’s reactions were a sight to behold, he didn’t want this moment to end, so he continued and proceeded to sit even closer to him, their legs brushing up against each other’s.
“Well, because”, Rui attempted to respond.
If he were to touch Tsukasa’s hair, how would his star react?
“I, um.”
Would he melt into his touch, or would he not want his hair to be ruined?
“There are many similar papers like that one,”
If he hugged Tsukasa, would he hug him back and rest his head on his shoulder while his breath gently brushed his back, or would he push him away?
“Or maybe I confused it for,”
If he kissed Tsukasa,-
Rui’s face fell right into his hands that covered it in embarrassment.
His face felt so hot, too hot it looked like he had a bad fever, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t hide it from the one who caused it.
Tsukasa had officially broken him, and he was very proud of it. He knew that no-one could make The Rui Kamishiro act like that, even though he wasn't sure why exactly he reacted that way to his teasing, he knew how to trigger it and that's all that mattered.
But, as funny as this was, Rui looked extremely distressed and Tsukasa couldn't help but feel bad about it, so he decided to try and redeem himself. He leaned closer to him and slowly removed Rui’s hands from his face, revealing his friend’s embarrassed expression.
Rui attempted to put his hands back but to no avail since Tsukasa held them even tighter in his, they were so close he could swear that they were sharing breaths.
“I’m sorry that you are seeing me like this”, Rui said, his voice was weak and wobbly, it took all his strength to manage to talk while also avoiding eye contact with the boy in front of him.
“Don’t apologize!”, Tsukasa shouted, he had unconsciously raised his voice, so he elegantly lowered it again, “besides, I don’t know why you are acting like that but, I must admit you become more interesting every time I talk to you.”
“Interesting?”, Rui blurted out, one could tell it was an accident from the tone of his voice and the way he jumped a bit after saying it.
Rui had heard a few compliments in his life, they all were very generic, and they never held much value. But he had never heard that one before, it startled him a bit. People would occasionally say that what he was doing was interesting, like building a robot, but they never said that he was interesting. So, his surprise could be from the fact that this compliment was new to him, or because Tsukasa was the one to tell him.
“I mean, yeah, you are always full of surprises, whether it is your ideas or the way you react to things, it is unpredictable and nice to notice.”, his lips started forming into smile, and Rui could swear that he saw him blush, but he might have just been projecting.
This was too much, it was all too much, Rui could feel everything around him so intensely. The light coming into the room through the curtains, the feel of dust on the ground he was sitting on, the pillow on his back, the wind coming in from the window that was slightly open, the sound of papers on the wall moving due to said wind, Tsukasa’s legs brushing up against his, Tsukasa’s hands holding his, Tsukasa...
..
Rui was always very calculating when it came to making any kind of decisions, whether it had to do with his future or everyday conversations, he always made sure to put much thought into his actions and calculate the outcomes of them to get the best possible result each time.
But at that moment, for the first time ever, he didn't think, instead his body moved on its own, his hands grabbing Tsukasa’s face and crashing his lips against his.
His mind had gone completely blank, and he could only feel once again. Tsukasa’s lips were soft against his and had a familiar Chapstick on them, one that Tsukasa always brought to practice and smelled like cherries. And apparently tasted like them too. Tsukasa jumped a bit from the sudden contact and let out a slight grunt of surprise, which "woke" Rui up.
His brain turned on again and processed what he was doing, kissing his best friend.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
He quickly pulled away, startled like it wasn't him that did that.
He opened his eyes and saw Tsukasa who looked, surprised and staring at him, his lips slightly parted and his Chapstick sort of smothered around his mouth.
Oh no, that was Rui’s doing.
No, no, no, this wasn't happening.
Rui couldn't control himself, what the hell was he thinking?
In all honesty he wasn't thinking anything at all but that was a horrible excuse.
He couldn't fix this, this was something so new to him he didn't know what to do, he was going to cry.
Stumbling, he got up from the floor said a muffled "I'm sorry" just loud enough for Tsukasa to hear and ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Before he knew it tears started flowing down his cheeks, and every single outcome of his decision came crashing to his head.
He slid down the bathrooms door and started sobbing.
He lost his best friend today, just because he wanted to be selfish and couldn't control his stupid feelings.
He acted like he didn't know the consequences already, Tsukasa will never speak to him again, then eventually everyone is going to learn about what happened, and he is going to be alone again.
Oh, and he knows what being alone feels like, he knows that better than anyone.
The loneliness that he thought he'd left behind would always find a way to come back to him, being an outcast was in his blood after all.
He closed his eyes and rubbed them hard, just in case this was some messed up dream, but unfortunately for him, life is as cruel as nightmares, if not worse.
Suddenly he heard a polite knock on the door, "Rui, are you ok?", it was Tsukasa, his voice was soft and had a worried tone.
How could he possibly want to talk to him after what he had done?
"I'm-" Rui couldn't utter a word between his sobs, "sorry", was all he managed to say before breaking down again.
"Please let me open the door, we can talk about this," Tsukasa’s voice was as calm as can be, which made Rui even more worried.
Could that mean that he had already decided to leave him so he wanted to tell him in the calmest way possible? Or maybe he pretended to act like that so Rui would open the door and then yell at him?
"no.." Rui responded having the latter one in mind.
"Just open the door," Tsukasa paused, "please." his tone was so... serious? But this time with a hint of desperation hidden in that last "please."
At that moment, Rui realized he couldn't keep running away from it, so he got up, wiped most of his tears away and slowly opened the bathroom door.
Tsukasa’s bright figure stuck out to the otherwise dark background; Rui couldn't decipher his face since he was purposely trying to remain serious.
They both just stood there for a moment, Tsukasa looking at Rui, and Rui trying to adjust his blurry eyes.
"Rui," Tsukasa finally spoke up. Rui was focusing on his breathing to not cry just by hearing Tsukasa speak, it was kind of working.
"You, shouldn't have run away like that."
huh...?
That was what he was concerned about?
Rui was, dumbfounded, there wasn't a better word for it. What did that even mean? Tsukasa was not mad but again, very hard to read. Rui, the one that took pride in being able to understand people better than most, was now confused and lost trying to read his, best friend? ex-best friend? Rui didn’t know that one, amongst other things and-
"Whatever you do," Tsukasa continued, "you should own up to it and not be a coward."
And with that, he took a step forward, and then another, until he was in front of the other boy, their faces but a few centimeters apart. His shaky palms cupped his friend’s face and after taking a deep breath, the distance between them was closed once again, this time by Tsukasa.
The kiss was short and forgiving, a little salty from Rui’s previously shed tears, but sweet nonetheless and this time it wasn't interrupted by fear, but by Tsukasa’s smile who pulled away to look at Rui to say, "at least now we are even" before pulling him into a soft hug.
Rui was even more distraught than before, but a bit calmer even if the tears running down his face were saying otherwise.
Slowly, he placed his hands around his star, while his head rested on his shoulder.
That meant that Tsukasa liked him back, right? There was no way that he would do all that to make him feel better so, seemed like it. He felt content knowing that he wasn't going to be alone after all.
After some time, Rui got a little too relaxed and almost fell asleep on Tsukasa’s shoulder, it was late, and he was already tired.
Tsukasa literally shook him awake, "hey you have a bed for that, come on."
"Mhm", was the only thing that Rui could say, until he remembered a very important detail about that day's sleepover, where was Tsukasa going to sleep? That thought woke him up entirely and took Tsukasa by his hand to head to his room.
Upon arriving he headed to his couch and by moving a few pillows and pulling some mechanisms, turned it into a bed.
"So, you are going to sleep there," Rui said gesturing towards the couch, he then picked a few pillows, and arranged them on the floor next to the couch to somehow resemble a sleeping surface, "and I'm going to sleep here."
"What?" Tsukasa said while looking at Rui's "bed", "you are not sleeping on the floor, a screwdriver might get stuck in your eye while you sleep or something, that is if you manage to sleep." he looked at him annoyed.
"Both as the host of this sleepover and as a director with the tiniest bit of self-respect, I cannot let the world's future star not get a good night's sleep and deprive him of a respectable sleeping surface just to sleep in my own bed that I've slept countless of times before." Rui said teasingly, he wasn't lying though, he was not going to let his star sleep on the cold wooden floor of his room, no matter wha-
"Ok then we are both sleeping on the bed"
..
what
That was not an outcome he was prepared for, either.
"As the 'world's future star' I am not allowing my trustworthy director not rest properly." Tsukasa declared.
He had turned Rui’s own sayings against him, how preposterous! But also cute, he would be lying if he said it wasn't.
In response he sighed rather loudly as he dramatically laid down on the bed, after him followed Tsukasa, who laid down next to him.
A short not very comfortable silence followed, until it was broken off by Rui, "I'm sorry about earlier I wasn't thinking straight and-"
"let's not talk about that right now," Tsukasa cut him off, "we are both tired and I would prefer if we had a conversation about in the morning" he turned his head to look at him, resulting them to lock eyes "to answer one of your questions though, I like you, have been for a while, details will be discussed tomorrow."
With that he gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then got up to try to find a blanket.
Rui was once again mesmerized, and happy that he could now rest peacefully knowing that the boy sleeping next to him liked him back, the world wasn't so cruel after all.
Eventually he got up and brought a blanket for the two of them. They both laid down, close to each other, under the thin summer blanket, their hands intertwined with one another.
Rui moved a bit closer and gestured Tsukasa into a hug, the blond without hesitation accepted, and scooted even closer to hug his "friend".
Before long they had both fallen asleep, arms wrapped around each other’s bodies, legs tangled up against one another and heads resting close, while sharing breaths.
It was the most beautiful summer morning of the year.
The door of the Kamishiro household creaked open as two people entered, late in the morning.
Rui’s mom and dad both entered exhausted after hours of unpaid work that they had to endure, followed by 2 hours of sleep, in a nearby hotel because they couldn't get home on time, due to traffic.
"I'm exhausted! I can't believe we are finally home" Rui’s dad exclaimed rather loudly before falling on a nearby couch.
"Shh, Rui’s probably still sleeping be quiet." Rui’s mom said as she placed her purse at a table and walked off towards the same couch to sit next to her husband.
"Huh? whose jacket is that?" she looked down at the couch where she found a strange winter jacket that didn't look like it belonged to anyone.
"It isn't Rui’s?" Rui’s dad asked.
"No. it is a size too small, also I don't remember buying him that" Rui’s mom continued, puzzled, "I think he brought a friend over."
"Oh? That's nice, you think they left?" his dad asked again.
"I should go check, if they left, I need to tell Rui so he can return it." she said as she quietly headed towards her son’s room, or garage, no-one in that family knew at this point, while holding the jacket.
She slowly opened the door and stepped inside only to find her son cuddling his fellow troupe member and "best friend" while both were peacefully snoring.
She was, rightfully, quite shocked by the scene, but she couldn't bear to wake them up to congratulate them and tease her son for not telling her sooner about his boyfriend, as it seemed at least, so instead, she smiled and quietly left the jacket on a chair before stepping out and heading back to the living room.
Upon arriving, her husband looked at her expectantly, waiting for an answer to his previous question.
"Well, he didn't leave yet, but I think they had a lovely sleepover."