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The hour is about 1:40 am on December 25th. Two men sit in a police car at the Detention Center lot. One of the men sat back on his seat, wearily facing the car’s ceiling, the other man was still grasping the ignition key, at a loss for what to do next.
It has been a long night.
One that Miles Edgeworth could hardly make any sense of. At one moment, he was headed for Gourd Lake by the calling of some mysterious letter that he in hindsight, should have really ignored. Now he was sitting in here with Detective Gumshoe, about to be escorted into his holding cell.
That is, if the Detective wouldn’t keep intently staring before himself, looking lost.
“Detective? Something the matter?” Edgeworth’s voice broke the cold night. The exhaustion was apparent in his voice too, not just his body language. But under that exhaustion were a lot of unexpressed emotions.
Shock, anxiety, fear. He was now a murder suspect in an open and shut case. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to process this fact yet, so the next best thing he could do was stick to protocol as much as he could. It’s not like he was in any mood to sleep after what happened tonight, so he’d have plenty of time to sort through all these annoying emotions once he was sitting in the holding cell.
Well, the good detective seemed to be struggling with keeping up protocol, however.
“Sir?” Gumshoe looked at him with uncertainty. As if he didn’t hear what Edgeworth just said. But at the same time he looked like he had a few questions he’d want answered. Perhaps questions that wouldn’t necessarily be suitable for an interrogation.
Edgeworth had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. Was this really necessary? Did it really matter that deep down, he was utterly terrified of whatever awaited him, following this night? And did detective Gumshoe absolutely have to ignore his duties just for the sake of his emotions?
Edgeworth decided he’ll bite. Might as well get it out there, it was so clear. “Is there something you want?”
Gumshoe hesitated for quite a while. Even in the dimness of the car, it was easy enough to read his expression. He was thinking really hard about something, most likely able to read the room. Once again, Edgeworth had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. He thought he’d done a good enough job of hiding his emotions during the interrogation, but apparently he failed. Contemplating how he could approach the matter delicately, the detective finally asked. “Do you… want to talk?”
Edgeworth looked out into the night coveted parking lot. There were not a lot of cars out. There probably wouldn’t be at this late hour of night, even if this was the Detention Center. Edgeworth then wondered what kind of excuse detective Gumshoe will come up with if he is extremely late in escorting the suspect. Letting a murder suspect linger in a car alone with another office unsupervised was very unprofessional. A lot of things that detective Gumshoe did tonight were. While the man was trying to act as he naturally did with all suspects, Edgeworth did not miss the occasional worried glances and concerned questions during the interrogation that took place just a little while ago.
But at the same time, as much as he hated to admit it… he needed to let out some steam. He was distressed and hasn’t been thinking straight since those gunshots rang out at that lake. It was probably clear from his demeanor too, as much as he was trying to hide it all behind his usual stoic mask. More than anything… right now, he really wanted to just… let it all out. The frustration, the fear, the anxiety, the lingering feeling of dread. He wanted to let it out to someone who he knew would be willing to listen and not judge him for it, even if it was highly unconventional not to mention unprofessional for him to do so.
However before Edgeworth would finally give in to temptation, he once again put on the professional persona to ask Gumshoe a question instead. “You are supposed to be escorting me to my holding cell, no?”
Gumshoe hesitated again, probably trying to think of a way to be delicate about speaking his mind but also remaining honest. Yet, when he answered the question, it just oozed with all that sentimentality and concern that Edgeworth really did not like hearing from him at this moment. “I don’t want to leave you alone in a holding cell when you are in a state like this. So… if you need to talk, or just… need a minute or two to try and calm down then, you are free to do so.”
“Detective, my emotional state is-”
“I don’t care about my job right now, Mr. Edgeworth. I know you’re not approving of this, but for once I insist we put our professional stance aside and you just drop the act with me.” Gumshoe’s tone softened a little. Even though what he already said was not the kind of tone he’d ever use with Edgeworth, he was trying to be more mindful with his following choice of words. “I can tell you are stressed out about this, I am too. I know you didn’t do anything, so… If you want to speak your honest feelings without worrying about it ending up in any police records, I am willing to listen without judgment.”
There was a very, very long pause before Edgeworth finally asked in a very quiet tone. “... No word… will leave this car. Correct?”
“Of course, sir! It’ll all just stay between us.”
There was a pause. Then, as if that was the last push he needed, Edgeworth seemed to shut down. He let out a long breath that he didn’t know how long he was holding and closed his eyes, head dropping on the dashboard with a light thud. Then the silence continued to linger. Edgeworth had so many things to say, but he didn’t know where to begin. Most of it, he didn’t even know how to say; and even if Gumshoe promised that any and all words said in this car will remain between them, there was only so much he could allow himself to tell him.
“... You look tired, sir.” Gumshoe broke the silence.
The truth is, he wasn’t just tired. He felt like he was on the brink of complete exhaustion. But there was no way he could sleep after everything that happened tonight. Just the two gunshots that occurred on the lake made entertaining that idea completely pointless. He never got a good night’s sleep, he knew that for a fact. But getting a good night’s sleep was out of the question tonight, more so than ever before. If not for his recurring nightmares that plagued him for fifteen years, then for the fact that he has never been so afraid in his whole life than he is now.
He felt helpless.
Hopeless.
Alone.
Why, just why did he have to go to that accursed lake?
Mountains of evidence stacked against him. Nothing he could possibly say in his defense. Anything he could say would be wasting his breath without any evidence to back it up. The reality of the situation, that he was now a prime suspect in a severely straightforward murder was setting in and it filled him with a new kind of fear that Edgeworth never felt before.
Is this what it felt like for all those defendants he condemned?
“You know, sir…” Gumshoe rubbed the back of his head, sneaking those familiar concerned glances in Edgeworth’s direction. “It’s… uh… It’s normal to feel a little scared in a situation like this… This is a serious case.”
He hasn’t even said a word yet and in spite of that, Gumshoe was reading him like a book. It didn’t fill him with a whole lot of confidence to actually start talking. It made him feel a lot more vulnerable than he already was. Then there was his entire body language that he could not control, no matter how much he wanted to.
He hasn’t stopped shaking in the past hour or so, he felt sweat trickling down his features and he was fairly certain he must have gone a touch paler, even if he couldn’t see it for himself. His throat felt like he swallowed pounds of sand, so when he finally spoke up after his extended silence, his voice came out rather hoarse, which he also found very annoying.
“... I am the prime suspect in an open and shut case. That alone is…” His sentence trailed off and instead, he let out a shaky sigh as he finally straightened up in his seat, continuing to gaze at the roof with a weary expression. Gumshoe frowned with uncertainty.
“It does seem pretty open and shut…” Gumshoe tried to force a confident smile, which came out more like a nervous grimace. “But I know you didn’t do it, sir! You would never do something like that!”
“You are probably the only person who would believe that, Detective.” Edgeworth deadpanned.
The forced smile on Gumshoe’s face dropped. “I mean… yeah there’s all that evidence against you… but I’m sure the evidence is not right!”
Edgeworth couldn’t hold back a groan this time. “Detective, would you at least try to speak like you are a real member of the police force?” Gumshoe’s expression faltered even further, now turning into his signature sad puppy look. Edgeworth didn’t care about that right now. “How many times must I remind you, personal feelings have no place in a murder investigation, only cold facts and irrefutable evidence.”
“But we’re not investigating right now, sir.” Gumshoe remarked, gaining back that confidence just a little. “Right now, we’re just talking. You’re not a murder suspect in my eyes at this moment, you’re… uh…” Gumshoe seemed to be wavering in between ‘my boss’ and ‘my friend’, ultimately unable to decide on one before Edgeworth cut in.
“But you are the lead detective on the case, no?” Edgeworth raised a brow.
“ Technically , that hasn’t been decided yet. I’m only escorting you to the Detention Center, that doesn’t automatically make me-”
Edgeworth rolled his eyes at the half-baked excuse. “Alright, I get it.” The silence continued to linger before Gumshoe asked a question next.
“So… why did you go to Gourd Lake in the first place, Mr. Edgeworth?”
He asked that question in the interrogation too. Edgeworth did not respond. He had only said that his reason for going to Gourd Lake had no bearing in the current case, which he still intently believed. Besides… Why did he go to Gourd Lake? He did not have the answer to that question himself. There was the letter that called him there, but in retrospect how did he not suspect that the letter may be a trap?
No, no, he was getting carried away. For all he knew the letter calling him to Gourd Lake at that time and the murder taking place at that very moment could be a complete coincidence. There was no solid evidence that he had been set up. It could just be a horrible turn of misfortune and that’s all there is to it… right?
“Sir?” Gumshoe once again broke the silence when Edgeworth didn’t respond for several minutes.
Edgeworth decided to just be as honest as he possibly can without necessarily mentioning the letter. Detective Gumshoe seemed intent on getting some kind of answer from him. “... I don’t know why I went to the lake. Honestly, I hardly even remember what happened. I am trying to think it through from the beginning to the end, but at one point or another, my line of thinking just stops making sense. I can’t make any sense of it at all, I-...” Edgeworth sighed, running a hand through his bangs.
Gumshoe looked at him with sympathy and understanding. “It is a pretty strange case… who shot the victim? It…” Gumshoe paused for a long moment, as if dreading to ask this question. “... It wasn’t you… right, Mr. Edgeworth?”
Edgeworth responded almost immediately. “That, I can state with certainty. I did not shoot the man.” Gumshoe looked notably relieved. “I believe you, sir.”
Edgeworth gave him a look. “What reason do you have to believe me when the evidence against me is airtight?”
“Well I know you Mr. Edgeworth. I know what kind of person you are and I know you would never do something like that.”
Edgeworth shot him a harsh glare. “I said personal bias needs to be kept out of the investigation.”
For once, Gumshoe’s determination did not waver even in the face of Edgeworth’s cutting glare. “And I said we are not investigating right now, sir. This is not an investigation, or an interrogation. Just…” Gumshoe sighed, inching a bit closer to Edgeworth from his seat. “Just talk to me, Mr. Edgeworth. Let’s put all this murder case aside for a little while and talk like the acquaintances we are.” Silence. Edgeworth did not seem to protest, in any case, so Gumshoe just went on. “Just… tell me honestly, no holding back. How are you feeling Mr. Edgeworth?”
Gumshoe sure knew how to ask all the tough questions. Edgeworth had no idea how he was feeling. He was stressed, scared, confused… Well, Gumshoe asked him to be honest, so honest he will be. If he tried to sidestep his question, he knew he would catch on immediately anyway. He backed himself into a corner.
“I don’t know…” Edgeworth tiredly said. “There is a lot swirling in my head.”
“... Just take your time.” Gumshoe nodded slowly.
Edgeworth was hesitating in speaking up again. Something about speaking his thoughts out loud was really intimidating to him right now. He felt like as long as the thoughts remained in his head, that is all they shall be. Plain thoughts. But once it was out in the open, it would become reality that he could no longer deny again.
“... Now I understand what it feels like to be a defendant.” Edgeworth finally said after long deliberation. This was certainly a very Edgeworth-like way of admitting he was in fact… terrified. Afraid would be an understatement, he truly was terrified.
Gumshoe seemed to understand just what Edgeworth meant with that response. “... Well, like I said… It's alright to feel scared. You are… in a pretty serious mess.”
Edgeworth hummed in response. Pretty serious mess was certainly one way to put it. Ever since he was apprehended hardly two hours ago, Edgeworth has mentally cursed himself for the foolish decisions that led him into this ‘pretty serious mess’.
He was such a fool. Why did he go to the lake? Why did he ignore his better judgment? Why did he have to pick up the murder weapon like a complete half witted moron? Why, why, why why, why-
Before his inner thoughts could spiral any further out of control, Gumshoe asked another question “Could you… give me a rundown of what happened at that lake? As well as you can remember?”
Edgeworth drew in a long breath, trying to come to his senses and snap himself out of his inner turmoil. “I’ll… try…” He took a few minutes to think everything through as well as he could, before starting. “We… Went from the park to the lake and took a boat… paddled deep in the middle of the lake. Then we… we talked.”
“You talked… about what?”
“I… I can’t remember that.”
Gumshoe nodded. “Alright, that’s fine, just go on.”
Edgeworth was very nearly infuriated by the constant trembling in his voice that he seemed unable to control. “That’s… when it all starts blurring together.” Edgeworth swallowed in an attempt to steady his voice, an attempt which was futile of course. “I… I heard the gunshot from somewhere very close by… then… the man fell from the boat. Next thing I knew, I was holding the gun in a daze and I-I was in such a shock, I couldn’t think straight, I… I might have stood in that boat for several minutes without realizing…” Once he let all that out, Edgeworth leaned forward and buried his face in his hands with a deep sigh. He couldn’t stop shaking, even now. In fact he looked to be on the brink of a mental breakdown. “... I don’t understand what happened. I don’t understand this case any better than you do.”
The stuttering and fumbling with words was very unlike Edgeworth. He was always coolheaded, calm and collected. Even when he was cornered in a courtroom, never did he falter like this. He really seemed to be cracking under the weight of his predicament.
Seeing the usually well composed prosecutor in this state… Detective Gumshoe was reminded that despite his formidable appearance in court, Edgeworth was just a young man; and in this moment, that is the only thing he saw. Not the ruthless and impregnable prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, but a troubled and panicked young man who got roped into a murder.
“Well… you don’t have to force yourself if you don’t remember anymore.” Gumshoe tenderly said. “You are probably still recovering from the shock of it all.”
Edgeworth’s face was still shielded by his hands and perhaps Gumshoe was just imagining it, but he could have sworn he heard a sniff. When he straightened himself in his seat, it was clear. Perhaps he wiped his face thoroughly, but the remnants of tears could not be completely hidden from his eyes, even when the only light source in the police car was just the bright shining of the moon.
Perhaps he was invading Edgeworth’s delicate boundaries and this action was definitely further ignorance of his duties, as a police officer who is meant to be escorting this man before him to the Detention Center as a murder suspect; but Gumshoe couldn’t stop himself from at least trying to comfort a distressed man who was struggling with tears before his very eyes.
“Just… take a deep breath, Mr. Edgeworth.” A pause. The sound of Edgeworth’s labored breaths filled the small interior of the car. “If it’s any consolation…” It was a risky move, but Detective Gumshoe gently rested a big hand on Edgeworth’s shoulder. “... I believe you. I’m sure there will be someone else who will take your side. It’s not a complete lost cause yet.”
“How can you believe that?” Edgeworth’s voice came out as a low whisper. He wasn’t even trying to fight off his despair anymore. It was a battle that he had already long lost. “I have already been branded a foul man.” Edgeworth knew what people thought of him. The demon prosecutor who uses forged evidence and suspicious testimony to obtain his verdicts. He was certain there were a number of people who wouldn’t be so surprised by him being accused of murder either. People who would rebrand him a murderer with no hesitation. “Perhaps this is that so-called ‘Divine Retribution’.” Edgeworth almost had to laugh bitterly at the irony of it. But he didn’t have it in him anymore, even if it was never going to be an honest laugh of amusement.
Gumshoe furrowed his brows. “Divine Retribution? You say that as if you were really responsible for some kind of crime.”
The detective’s choice of words there shook Edgeworth more than anything else that was said tonight. It was only for a split second, but Edgeworth could feel his heart skip a beat, his breath quickening and eyes widening in horror. It was only for a split second, Gumshoe probably didn’t even notice it because this is what he said next: “Well those are just rumors, sir! You’re no criminal! You always fight for justice and the truth with everything you’ve got!”
Of course, Gumshoe would have no idea.
‘You say that as if you were really responsible for some kind of crime.’
It was… just a nightmare. That’s all it was, that’s all it ever will be. A nightmare… a nightmare is not the truth.
It is just a nightmare.
… Right?
Edgeworth drew in another long and shaky breath as he tried to compose himself from the momentary shock. He glanced at the time on the car’s dashboard. It was now 2:25 am. They spent about forty-five minutes talking in the car. Edgeworth should have been escorted to the holding cell ages ago.
“Detective…” Edgeworth finally made eye contact for the first time in the past forty-five minutes. “Before we step out of the car and finally proceed with proper protocol…” There was a long pause. Gumshoe tilted his head.
“... Yes, sir?”
… … …
“Th… Thank… you… ” Edgeworth pressed out the two words as if they were acidic to his lips. Despite the poor delivery, a satisfied grin spread on the detective’s face. “You’re welcome, Mr. Edgeworth sir!”
“Now…” Edgeworth cleared his throat, immediately returning to his stoic persona. “I believe we have been sitting in this car for quite a while and I am supposed to be in detention by now.”
“Right, of course sir.” Gumshoe nodded. He hesitated for just a brief moment before leading Edgeworth out of the car and into the Detention Center.
Once Edgeworth stepped inside his holding cell, he knew…
From here on out, he was alone.
It was going to be a long, long night.
There was only one sentence that kept circling through Edgeworth’s mind during the whole night as he kept staring at the ceiling in his holding cell.
One sentence… over and over again.
‘You say that as if you were really responsible for some kind of crime.’