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Okay, so the problem is this, right- he rejected Iskall- harshly, sure, but like, can you blame him? He basically got two weeks worth of junk mail from the guy, got accused of ‘leading him to believe’ that they were in some kind of endforsaken ‘secret relationship’ that was so secret he didn’t even know about it, and almost got conned into buying that tiny useless apartment for 20 diamond freaking blocks - as if he was a three year old with their parent’s diamond shulker, or some creature equally daft. Then, when he got out of that dumb deal, he immediately got roped into a different, slightly better but still dumb deal where he got asked to make the creepiest thing ever .
(He is determinedly not thinking about the ‘other things’ that Iskall mentioned - is he going to … kiss it? Hug it at night? Stare at it lovin- okay, get back on track Joel, don’t think about that, don’t think about how Iskall will hold it gently and tell it about his day and tell jokes to it and replace him and- it’s a freaking doll, Joel, cut it out .)
And that man- that freaking man had the damn audacity to ask for- special effects, and hearts, and for it to be professing its love for Iskall, which is super creepy , Iskall, what the hell , and to top it all off Gem kept teasing him throughout the entire conversation! Like, no, Gem, stop it, he’s not the one wanting to be in this conversation, this is Iskall’s fault, tease him !
He’s gone off topic. Shoot, what’s he talking about?
He was… thinking about his day. Why was he- rejecting Iskall, right. Oh. Yeah.
The… Problem.
And the problem is this, because he rejected Iskall really, really harshly (sorry Iskall but also you kind of deserved it) and just flew off after that without any kind of explanation (whoops??), but what if-
What if-
Well, what if he hadn’t ? Would Iskall’s eyes have lit up? Would he have made a joke, or stood there shocked, or not believed him, or jumped on him right there, or-? Would he have grinned? His dimple would’ve shown, probably- and he only knows Iskall has a dimple because he likes dimples, okay, and he likes keeping track of who has them, it’s not weird , Iskall’s not special, just like Etho isn’t special. Jimmy’s special, but not in a good way, and Grian’s special, but in a funny way and not… like that. (The way he’s always late to everything never fails to really annoy and amuse him. That’s Grian for you.)
And well, yeah, okay, the Bad Boys may have… gotten frisky, a few times, back in Limited, but like, everyone knows you’re not really in control of what you’re doing, in the Life series, and he and Lizzie had already agreed that whatever happened in Life stayed in Life. Besides, Grian is objectively good looking, and so is Jimmy, even, and he’s pretty sure most people would have done the same in his position, so it’s whatever, doesn’t count .
Scar probably already has with Grian, come to think of it, they were… suspiciously close, during Third life. Nether knows what Scott was doing in Third, because Scott’s the kind of guy who could honestly have been doing anything from just holding hands to full on exhibitionistic bondage humiliation BDSM. Wouldn’t surprise him if Scott secretly ran an underground nightclub. Or a fighting ring. Or both. Or one club that functioned as both.
And who even knows about Cleo and Etho in Secret.
Woah. Now that’s a thought that he should not be having but he’s having anyway. But only because it’s Cleo, and Cleo’s hot, because he hasn’t even seen Etho’s face and so he obviously can’t be attracted to him like that , because he only likes doing things with guys when they’re his type and Etho’s probably not and that’s why he’s never seen his face because Etho’s really insecure and probably doesn’t want him to see how ugly he really is because Etho’s obsessed with him.
Lots of people are obsessed with him, now that he thinks about it. Must be his height and humbleness and smartness and how cool he is all the time.
(All of those features, he was asked to put into the doll. He’s so, so tempted to make the doll five centimetres shorter than him.)
But yeah. The Problem.
And obviously, he doesn’t care if Iskall would’ve had a dimple, because he only noticed the dimple because he always notices dimples on everybody because he thinks dimples are cute in general , not just on Iskall , so Gem can shut up about everything ever . And besides, he’s not even gay . He thinks guys are hot sometimes, sure, but that’s just a fact sometimes, and besides, he’s never dated one, and he’s not starting now, especially when he has a lovely wife on another server, so what does it even matter?
And yeah he had that whole bit with Etho, but it’s a bit . He doesn’t actually- he’s not actually -
He’s Joel Smallishbeans , the humblest, tallest, most handsome guy on the server! And yes he pulls all the men (Jimmy and Grian, Etho of course who’s always obsessed with him (what a weird guy), now Iskall-), but it’s a bit , it’s not real , it doesn’t mean he’s actually-
It’s-
Argh. This is all Iskall’s fault. Going up to him and acting so nervous and lovestruck and blushing and acting like a kid with a crush- it’s messing with his head.
He isn’t. He isn’t . He can’t be. It’s not like he’s a teenager, still figuring out the world. Teenagers are dumb. And stupid. And horny. Whereas he is cool and manly and none of the above, thank you very much. Also teenagers are under the age of twenty. Which he is not. He’s over twenty by a full decade, thank-you-very-much, so Lizzie can finally stop teasing him about how he was so young, still in his sweet twenties-
(He’s kidding, he loves Lizzie. She’s too good for him. She’s kind and sweet and playful and smart and loyal and is one of those people who always knows what to say- and he is… not. So there are some promises that are unbreakable. I vow to always be loyal is definitely, absolutely, always going to be one of them. Unless he… dies. Which won’t happen, because Joel Smallishbeans is unbreakable and unkillable and manly, but if it does somehow, then he’d have been loyal until then, so it still counts.)
But he’s not disloyal and he’s not gay and he doesn’t even like Iskall and Iskall is a creepy stalking spam-mailing weirdo, anyway, and who even cares about Etho, and he thinks he’d know by now if he was gay, so really, this is all just a waste of time.
But-
But.