Archive of Our Own

He sees the ghost getting torn apart by the same curse he himself started, letting out a horrible shriek of pain that, for a moment, sounds familiar. Where has he heard it before?

A fate worse than death. He knows it too well, but to see it happening to someone else, for his sake, when all this was all his fault... 

He falls heavily on his knees and hugs his head, screaming from the top of his lungs, his throat feeling sore with the amount of effort he is putting into it.

His ears ring and hands shake uncontrollably.

Painful, feeling the same agony.

Painful, feeling both his body and heart being crushed by the curse.

Painful, being shredded from the inside out, with no one to call out for help.

Stop.

Stop.

Please, stop this madness.

Stop the pain.

Stop the hurt.

Stop hurting him. 

His soldier, his follower, his... Friend.

Stop. Stop. Stop. 

"STOP!" 

Xie Lian jolts awake, his head hurting and spinning from the speed and the force in which he rose from the... Bed?

He can still hear the screams of agony. His heart is beating so loudly in his ears, and there's a painful knot in his stomach. 

It takes him a bit of time to recover, to take a couple of deep breaths until his heart is calmer and his hands aren't shaking as much, and once he does, he slowly starts to take in his surroundings.

He's on a bed, in what seems to be a nice room in an inn. It doesn't look expensive, but it's also not super cheap either. There's a privacy screen for a bath tub, and a table for eating too. He also notices it's dark outside.

How is he here? Why is he here? It's been a long time since he's slept on a nice bed, and been in a room this comfortable. He can't even afford a place like this, not anymore, so how is he here? Just a moment ago he was...

He notices a slight movement coming from a corner of the room. In the dark, it was hidden perfectly, but once Xie Lian sees it, he can make out the silhouette with the moonlight.

The person- a young man, looking like he is hesitant to come over, a foot like he was ready to get closer, but not knowing if it was allowed. 

Looking up slowly, Xie Lian feels his heartbeat picking up speed again, but this time, for a completely different reason. 

He looks up, up, up, until he sees what he feared and hoped it'd be. Right there, shining slightly under the moonlight, is a white, smiling mask.

The young man's hand that had been raised hesitantly, slowly goes down when he is noticed, and in that moment, the room goes silent, except for Xie Lian's rapidly beating heart. 

It takes a moment for Xie Lian to find his voice, and even when he does, the words come out broken, quiet.

"Wu... Ming?"

When Wu Ming hears his name, he instantly rushes by the bed's side and goes down on one knee.

"Your Highness, I am so sorry. I don't know why or how we ended up-"

He stops when he feels the weight of the Crown Prince leaning into him, holding him in his arms.

"Y- Your Highness...?" 

Xie Lian pulls back a little to hold the mask gently between his shaky hands. He can barely make out the eyes hidden behind it. 

Releasing a shaky breath, he brings Wu Ming into his arms once more. Is this real? What is going on? He clearly just saw Wu Ming... It couldn't have been a nightmare, right? It felt so real. It must've been real...

Suddenly, the weight of everything that's happened in the last few days is starting to overwhelm him. He almost became a Calamity, he almost destroyed a whole kingdom, like the one he had sworn to protect, he almost had his last believer killed...

He doesn't cry. He refuses to cry. Instead, his whole body shakes in fear while he holds Wu Ming close, one hand tangled in his hair, and the other clutching the back of his robes in fear that he might disintegrate in front of him.

Wu Ming, from his part, has had his hands hovering hesitantly behind Xie Lian, unsure of whether he can wrap his arms around His Highness to comfort him, or if it would be unwelcome, but when he feels the way Xie Lian's body shakes, he risks it and slowly hugs him back, first lightly, then he tightens his hold.

He almost got his soul dispersed. He felt it being torn apart, consumed until there was nothing else. 

He had failed his mission, apparently, but if he's still here, he'll continue being His Highness's loyal servant.

"Your Highness... It's ok," he comforts quietly, "Let it out. It's ok. You're safe now."

Those words and the gentle hold are enough to break Xie Lian.

He first tries to keep it in, to not show too much emotion, but then he feels Wu Ming running his hands through his hair and all of a sudden, he's sobbing, and then crying loudly, almost screaming. 

His entire body is shaking, and with the way he leans into Wu Ming, he almost makes them fall backwards, but with a bit of adjusting, they fit more comfortably into each other's arms, never letting go.

He fears he might be making too much noise, that his loud sobs might disturb other patrons in the inn, but right now, it feels like the world is empty. As if it was just Wu Ming and him in a void where no one can hear nor see them.

At some point, he feels drops of water running down his shoulder and back, and Wu Ming's body is shaking lightly as well, and yet, even as he's crying too, Wu Ming still comforts him gently, petting his head and whispering quietly "You're safe, Your Highness. Everything will be ok."

Xie Lian comforts him too, holding the back of Wu Ming's head and caressing it.

They both cry, and cry. 

Until the sun rises, they don't let each other go.

It isn't until they're both calm and tired, that Xie Lian's stomach grumbles. It comes out of nowhere and when it does, they both separate a little to look at each other, and then Xie Lian giggles. And then, he's laughing. 

He rests his head on Wu Ming's shoulder and laughs until his belly hurts, and when he feels Wu Ming's laughter shaking him, it feels like everything will really be ok.

"Uh... I- ah. I don't know what to do..." Xie Lian admits in between the last of his giggles as he pulls back.

"I could go out and find something for His Highness to eat." Wu Ming suggests and Xie Lian shakes his head.

"No! N-No... Don't go..." Xie Lian holds onto Wu Ming's sleeve, " I think we should... I don't know where we are..."

"Me neither… I thought of going out when I woke up, but I didn’t want to leave His Highness alone. You didn’t wake up much later though."

Xie Lian nods and looks around at the room once more, noticing it’s meant for one person to be in comfortably, or for a couple.

How did they get here? Who paid for this?

“Your Highness?” Wu Ming interrupts his thoughts, “Your injury. Are you not hurt?”

That makes Xie Lian stop. He had forgotten about that despite having a sword in his abdomen for 2 days, but he didn’t feel any pain since he woke up…

Confused, he moves to loosen his robes when he notices he’s down to his under robe. He tries not to think too much of it and opens it, only to find there’s no traces of being stabbed in his body. 

He runs his hand on his abdomen incredulously, but there’s nothing. There’s no blood, not even a scar… There’s just a beautiful crystal ring hanging from his neck, shining brightly and looking even more delicate and precious than anything he’d ever seen. 

“What’s going on?” Xie Lian whispers to himself as he takes it carefully, examining it. 

Wu Ming from his part, had looked away when Xie Lian opened his robes, and only glanced towards Xie Lian’s abdomen when he spoke up, but when he sees the ring, he stops and looks at it carefully.

When Xie Lian notices this, he looks between the ring and back to his companion, and just as he’s about to ask if he knows what it is, Wu Ming looks up at him, clears his throat and quickly looks away, whispering a quiet “Sorry”.

“So proper…” Xie Lian thinks to himself fondly as he ties his under robe once more, then feels something untightening on his wrist.

“Rouye. Do you know what’s going on?” Xie Lian asks his silk band, who seems to hesitate then moves to the sides, as if saying “No”

Xie Lian nods to himself, then turns to his companion, "Wu Ming, do you... What's the last thing you remember?" 

Maybe, just maybe, it was all a horrible dream. A nightmare that felt too real. He's had some of those before, one even predicting how his parents would... It wouldn't surprise him if his mind had made everything up, but what twisted, sick kind of thing would it be for his mind to do this to him?

Still, he holds his breath and prepares for the worse.

"I..." Wu Ming starts hesitantly, "I was... Taking away the curse. Completing the mission."

Xie Lian exhales slowly. So it was real.

"It seems like I failed," Wu Min says as he starts to bow, but Xie Lian stops him and cups the mask with one hand, caressing it gently.

"N-No! You have no idea how happy I am to see you're safe!" Xie Lian says breathlessly, still unable to believe that he truly is, "I also remember the same thing. With you... Being dispersed."

They both remain quiet for a bit before they hear a light knock coming from outside.  

"Y- yes?" Xie Lian says as he stands quickly, shielding Wu Ming behind him.

"Young masters? Your breakfast is ready." A young lady calls from behind the door.

"Ah?" Xie Lian finds his robe and hastily puts it on before he goes to the door and slowly opens it, with Wu Ming standing behind him, prepared for anything.

"Good morning Daozhang, Young Master." The girl comes in with a tray in hand, "Should I leave this on the table?" She asks warmly.

"I can take it..." Xie Lian offers, but before he does so, Wu Ming courtly takes the tray and puts it on the table.

"Thank you. Then, I'll come for it in a bit." She says as she bows politely, but before she leaves, Xie Lian speaks up.

"Uhm, excuse me, are you sure this is for us?" 

"Mn? It is! Master Hua asked for it to be delivered in the morning." She explains.

"Master Hua...?" Xie Lian hums confused. Who?

"Ah, I thought..." She inclines her head to look at Wu Ming then shakes her head, "Daozhang's friend, he wanted us to prepare Daozhang's favorite dishes." 

"Ok... Well, thank you." 

"You're welcome," she bows lightly, and is about to leave before she remembers, "Oh, and if these Young Masters would like to stay another night, a room with two beds will be available today, in case you still want it." 

"Yes, yes. Thank you." Xie Lian says weirdly. Another night? He doesn't even know how he could afford this one. Heck, how is he even here in the first place? And who's this "Master Hua"?

"Well, I'll take my leave. Enjoy your meal!" The young lady says before she leaves.

Xie Lian looks at Wu Ming, who's standing close, and asks, "Do you think they confused me with someone else?" 

"Perhaps..." Wu Ming goes back to stand by the table and looks at the food. Xie Lian follows him and when he looks closely, he does recognize his favorite dishes in the assortment of plates on the tray.

So maybe it was not a mistake…?

"Your Highness. If I may, I can try the food to see if it's poisonous." 

"Ah? N-No!" Xie Lian says instantly, "Why would I want you to...?" He was going to ask why would he want Wu Ming to get poisoned in his stead, but then... Wu Ming is a ghost. He's dead. A bit of poison will do nothing to him.

"Ah, I'm sorry... I didn't... I cannot help with that. My apologies. I can still try to see if anything tastes strange..." Wu Ming bows ashamed when the same thought comes to his mind, and Xie Lian cannot take it anymore.

He goes up to Wu Ming and pulls him back in his arms, his face hidden in Wu Ming's chest, where his heart would beat if he was alive.

"Please, stop that. Stop treating me like that, please... All that formality, the high regard and respect, all of it… In fact, there's something I need to say," Xie Lian takes a shaky breath and pulls back, "I'm sorry."

Despite not needing to breathe, Wu Ming gasps and seems to want to say something, but Xie Lian continues, "I'm sorry for how I've treated you since we met. For being so disrespectful and even giving you a cruel name."

He looks at him closely, meeting his eyes through the mask's holes, "You're that little ghost, aren't you?"

"Do you still not understand what happened?"

"Do you know who that ghost is?"

"... A soul from the battlefield?"

"Yes, but also, he was your last believer, and now he's gone..."

The voice of someone - that monster - rings in his head. Despite them being here, together and safe, something tells him that those words are true, that Wu Ming really got dispersed... Even if it doesn't seem to make sense right now.

"You've been trying to protect me, haven't you? That time with those Heaven Officials? And when I got drunk?" Xie Lian looks down in embarrassment when he thinks of that.

"But it was you... You've been there for me this whole time. You've been the only one by my side when I needed someone the most, and I still treated you terribly... You could've been dispersed, right in front of me, and for what I had done." Despite having cried for a long time, Xie Lian's eyes still sting. 

"Your Highness... I don't blame you for what happened. You were bitter, angry, and most of all, I think you were scared." 

"After everything, I think you had a reason to want to destroy everything. You were lonely, and hurt, and wanting revenge was a way of letting all of that out. And to be frustrated with me was another way, and one that's understandable too," Wu Ming looks up to Xie Lian and firmly says, "But taking that curse in your stead, it was my own choice. His Highness doesn't have to blame himself for what I chose to do, and for how he treated me, he need not worry either for I saw that, on these last two days, or even those few seconds before I took on the curse, that you're still the kind prince that would look for an excuse not to destroy the world despite deserving it, or would even worry about a nameless ghost."

Xie Lian looks at Wu Ming with eyebrows raised and mouth agape. His heart skips a beat, and then it gets a bit harder to breathe.

Is he really going to be the one to stay, despite everything?

He doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't. Instead, he clings onto Wu Ming and breathes into his chest, trying to calm his heart and stop any more tears from forming. It's harder when Wu Ming now embraces him back without hesitating, bringing him closer.

"Thank you... For everything." Is all he manages to whisper out.

"No need." Wu Ming says quietly as well.

After a bit, Xie Lian pulls back and looks back at the tray of food, his stomach starting to hurt more by the second.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it..."

"Mn..." Wu Ming is still hesitant, but he gently guides Xie Lian to the table and sits in front of him, "Can I still try and see if the taste is ok?"

Xie Lian huffs a laugh, "If it'll make you feel better... Sure." 

"Thank you." Wu Ming inclines his head lightly and takes a small bit of each dish on the tray. He doesn't take his mask off, only lifting it enough for the chopsticks to reach his mouth.

His jaw is sharp, yet it still looks like it belongs to a youth, rather than a full grown adult; his skin is so pale, but his lips are slightly reddish. 

From the bit he gets to see, Xie Lian thinks he might be good looking at the very least. Why is he still wearing that mask though? 

Before he can ask, Wu Ming says, "There doesn't seem to be anything wrong."

"Ah, thank you." Xie Lian says fearing he might've gotten caught looking, "You can eat with me if you want."

Wu Ming shakes his head as he politely puts his hands on his knees, "Your High- You are hungry. You should eat."

Xie Lian sighs and does.

He tries to eat slowly at first, but as he tries his favorite dishes he hasn't had in so long, he starts to pick up the pace, to the point that, if anyone else were to look, they'd never imagine he's from royalty. 

It's been so long since he's had a decent meal, or since he's felt his stomach full, but... When he thinks of his mother's dishes, he suddenly doesn't feel as hungry anymore, wishing he could try them once more. Maybe... They weren't as bad as he thought.

"If you're full, we can save some of this for later." Wu Ming suggests when he sees Xie Lian has not eaten for a while.

Xie Lian looks down and nods, "We can take the meat buns, the rest will be complicated..." 

And so, they take the tray of dishes downstairs to the young lady that brought it up and leave the inn.

Whatever Xie Lian was expecting to see when they stepped out, was not a bright day, with a beautiful clear blue sky, the sun shining bright on the horizon, on a town full of young kids playing with kites, with toy bows and arrows, see elders playing board games down the street, or the bunch of people chatting happily by some market stalls.

He didn't expect to see a completely different town, looking nothing like the grand, populous Yong'an.

Just a day ago... Just last night even, the sky was gray, as if feeling what was about to happen to the city and the people in it.

But now... Now it's as if they've traveled to the other side of the country, one he can’t recognize. 

Or even through time...

Xie Lian and Wu Ming walk side by side through the small town's streets, checking the stalls and being greeted by some of the vendors. He’s surprised to hear even the way they speak is different, but even more so by how he can talk back just as naturally with them.

"Thank you for getting rid of that ghost Daozhang!" 

"Be sure to bring your handsome friend next time too!" 

"Here Daozhang and his friend! Take some fruit with you! Don't go picking up scraps again!" 

"Xie Gege! Hua Gege!" Some kids come running up to them with sticks on their hands, circling both Wu Ming and Xie Lian.

"Will you teach us how to use a sword today?" 

"Hua Gege said he'd teach us cool tricks too!"

"You promised you would!" 

"Please?" 

Xie Lian, throughout the whole day, hasn't known how to respond to any of the townsfolk's comments, just smiling as curtly as possible and continuing forward, and even now, he still doesn't know what to say, but for a moment, he wants to pretend that this...

"Wu Ming?" He whispers.

"Yes?" Wu Ming replies instantly.

"Do you think it's ok for us to have this?" 

Wu Ming doesn't reply, only tilting his head lightly to the side, before Xie Lian explains, "Is it ok for us to pretend for a while that... Everything is ok? That we can stay some time and play with these kids?" 

Is it ok for him to pretend that he is some unrecognizable cultivator, helping others on his way, and having a friend by his side?

He doesn't ask this, but Wu Ming seems to understand, because he nods, and even through his mask, Xie Lian believes he's smiling at him, "I think you deserve a little distraction."

Xie Lian smiles back at him, his eyes a little sad.

"And..." Wu Ming starts quietly but doesn’t continue.

"Yes?" He asks back, curious.

"I... I would like to see His Highness' sword forms too..." Wu Ming whispers so lightly it almost goes unheard, but Xie Lian listens, and laughs happily.

"Hahaha, then how can I say no to that?" Xie Lian says as he guides the kids to a clearing, "Ok, let's start with the lesson then?"

"Yes!!!" They all exclaim full of excitement.

Although he's not much older than 17 years (despite his looks being stuck in that age forever), after everything that's happened he feels like a much older person, as if he's lived for decades already. 

And yet, right now he feels like he's 17 again. Like that young, naive prince that felt he could defy the heavens and be a great change for the world. Playing around with the group of children is like being back at Mt. Taicang, training young cultivators, or even seeing the kids playing in the streets of Xian Le. 

They all laugh, and cheer, and gasp, but what brings him delight the most, is seeing the barely contained excitement in the way Wu Ming's body leans in every time Xie Lian swings the wooden stick with ease and grace. Even Wu Ming looks much younger too.

"You should show these kids some tricks too." Xie Lian says as he turns to Wu Ming.

"M-me?" Wu Ming sits straight and tenses a bit.

"Yes!" He hands him the stick, "This Xie Gege has a feeling that you're very talented." 

"Ge-ge...?" 

"You’re younger than me, right? You look like you are, unless you're not? Am I your Didi?" Xie Lian jokes. He thinks the children's joyfulness is rubbing off on him. 

That, or just being here with Wu Ming makes him genuinely happy.

"No- I... I am younger." Wu Ming hesitates.

"Well then, will you show your Xie Gege what you can do? Something tells me you're good at this." He asks cheerfully as he sits back while the kids get closer to Wu Ming.

"Mn…" 

He stumbles at first, but when the kids cheer, he focuses a little bit more on his movements, Wu Ming starts to move more naturally, doing a cool trick here and there, trying to impress the crowd (and if possible, Xie Lian too).

"Do that again!" 

"Gege is so cool!!!"

"I bet it would look cooler with a real sword!"

Wu Ming's body looks more relaxed, and by the end, Xie Lian swears he must be grinning, or at least smiling a bit, under his mask, and not for the first time does Xie Lian wish he could see his face.

What does he look like under the mask? What shape is his nose? Are his eyes big or small? What color are his irises? Is he handsome or "ugly", so to say? Does he have scars from the war?

Why does he keep the mask at all times? Does he have something to hide? 

Xie Lian thinks that whatever Wu Ming looks like under his mask, he won't mind. In fact, he'll like it, because it's him.

As the kids leave for lunch and bid their farewells with promises of coming back, Xie Lian and Wu Ming leave as well, aimlessly walking by the town's outskirts until they hear an old man calling behind them.

"My Lord!" 

None of them turn to the call, but when the man in an ox cart pulls up next to them, he says, "Ah, my Lord! What a coincidence to find you here! I wasn't sure if it was you because you didn't respond and Xiao Hua isn't wearing red like always."

"Ah, hello sir! Sorry, we are a bit distracted today," Xie Lian tries to sound as natural as possible… but "My Lord"? Daozhang makes sense, but this… And again, this "Xiao Hua"? 

"Does My Lord and his friend want a ride back to Puqi Village?" 

"Uhm…" Xie Lian turns quizzically to Wu Ming, who tilts his head and shrugs lightly. Xie Lian turns to the old man and says, "Sure, thank you sir." There's nothing to lose in going with him, really.

The old man smiles at them and tilts his head to the back of the cart.

Xie Lian and Wu Ming get on it, and then they're off.

The ride goes a little quiet at first, with Xie Lian admiring their surroundings that somehow feel familiar. It scratches something in his brain, as if he's been in a situation just like this before. Surrounded with orange-tainted trees and the wind blowing on them.  

In any case, he knows he should be asking the old man questions, to get clues on where they are and what is going on, but a small, perhaps selfish, part of him wants to delay that a little longer. He wants to enjoy his time with Wu Ming, to get to know him and maybe just rest for the first time in so long. He’s afraid to learn if anything bad happened before they woke up in that inn.

"You're a very skilled fighter, you know? I'm impressed!" Xie Lian speaks up after a bit then re-thinks what he's just said, "I mean! Not that I didn't know that, of course… being a soldier and now a Wrath-level ghost, of course you would know…" 

"Ah… Thank you, Your Highness. It means a lot to me that you think that." Wu Ming says bashfully, shrinking a little.

"What's your weapon of choice?" 

"A scimitar." 

"Hm I thought so. Your movements were more fit for it than a sword. Ah, I wish I could've seen it with a real one though, not with a stick!" Xie Lian giggles lightly, feeling his face redden a little. He doesn't know why, but he's feeling… giddy?

"I…" 

"Yes?" Xie Lian leans in, curious.

"I felt honored to see His Highness' skill up close too. It's always amazing to see it, especially outside of battle grounds."

Xie Lian feels his face heat up, and when he notices, he shakes his head and says, "You know… You don't have to call me "Your Highness" anymore. I even gave you an option earlier." He says as he bumps his shoulder on Wu Ming's lightly trying to appear nonchalant.

Wu Ming tilts his head to the side and when it clicks, he tenses. The eyes under the mask seem to be wide, and Xie Lian swears one of them shines in a red-ish tone under the light of the sunset.

"N- No, I wouldn't dare…" 

"Please? I just feel it’s right…" Xie Lian says the second part quietly then continues, "In fact, I wanted to ask, is there really nothing else I can call you? I can't keep calling you "Wu Ming".” 

"I'm ok with whatever you wish to call me… But…" He looks down, his hands fidgeting with his hands, "I…" Wu Ming thinks of something before he shakes his head and says, "I don't know."

"Well… we can think of something together, ok?" 

"Mn." 

"Oh, but I wanted to tell you, about some of your stances you did, you should remember to lift your elbows…" and then Xie Lian goes on and doesn’t stop. He starts talking about Wu Ming's form and stances, praising them mostly, but also giving some advice, and then, he goes on about swords and weapons in general.

Despite everything, he still has a special interest in weapons and the art surrounding them, so much so that at some point, Xie Lian starts to feel shy by how much he can go on talking about it without stopping. 

"It's ok, it's fun seeing Gege excited about what he likes." 

He says it so naturally it almost goes unnoticed by both of them, but then they both stop and then Xie Lian is leaning in, grinning from ear to ear.

"What did you say?" 

"N-Nothing! I'm sorry!" 

"No, no! Say it again, please!" 

"No…" 

Xie Lian laughs and decides to stop teasing. He'll make sure to make Wu Ming feel comfortable around him, but one step at a time. 

He continues talking and Wu Ming starts to comment here and there too.  He seems to know a lot more than he lets on; so much so that at times, it feels like he too is surprised by how much he knows, but still continues, and Xie Lian feels like he's never talked with anyone more interesting than him.

This too feels familiar somehow, but he knows he’d never forget someone like Wu Ming.

"We're here!" The old man says after a while, when the sun has completely set on the horizon. 

They've stopped at a small shrine, which makes Xie Lian wonder, but he doesn't question it much. They both step out of the cart and go up to the man to thank him before he leaves.

As they get closer, Wu Ming stops to read a sign by the entrance, and Xie Lian follows.

"Kind benefactors, this shrine is dilapidated. Please donate money for repairs and merits."

…

Well… It's a bit silly, but at least it's honest.

When they get to the door, Xie Lian sees the ghost repelling marks on it and hesitates. Will Wu Ming not be able to come in? He opens it to see if he'll have to remove the door but immediately stops when he sees who this shrine is dedicated to.

Right there, over the altar, is an intricately painted image of The Flower Crown Martial God.

While Xie Lian was afraid of getting closer, Wu Ming steps forward and looks at the painting very carefully, his hand stopping short before tracing his fingers over the drawing, hovering close but not touching.

"It looks like you ascended again…?" Wu Ming asks almost to himself.

"But… it doesn't make sense…" Xie Lian finally steps forward and looks at the picture closely. This wasn't painted just now, and it wasn't painted out of malice either… No. This was painted by an artist that genuinely believes in him, who has known him and even admired. There's no mistaking the delicacy in the way they painted his features, or the amount of detail that went into adorning his robes, or the careful gentleness that went into the hand holding the flower, into his eyes and smile.

Either he ascended again, or he has someone that still believes in him despite everything…

But there's only one person he knows still would.

"It's good, isn't it? That you ascended." Wu Ming asks, and he sounds happy for him, despite his confusion.

"But… This… I couldn't have, and I wouldn't…" He wouldn't have accepted ascending again after what he'd tried to do just the day before, and especially after knowing what kind of fate was awaiting the young ghost.

"Aaah, I really should've asked that man about what's going on." He says as he scratches his head nervously. He knows why he didn't, but now he thinks he should've.

"It's ok. We can ask tomorrow. Maybe the people in this village know something. Right now, you should rest."

"Yes…" Xie Lian looks at the painting a bit longer, then back to Wu Ming. Xie Lian smiles at him, then moves to sit on the sleeping mat on the floor and pats the place next to him.

Wu Ming slowly goes and takes a seat. 

"Wu Ming?" 

"Yes?"

"Why do you…? Do you think I could…" Xie Lian sighs. 

"Whatever Gege wants to ask, you can do it. I'll try my best to answer."

Xie Lian turns to him and smiles, then sighs again shyly, "I wanted to know if… I could see you, without your mask?" 

Wu Ming tenses and Xie Lian hurries to explain, "You don't have to show me! I just… I wanted to see what you look like. I understand if you're uncomfortable, but I wanted to… ah, nevermind. Sorry, that was silly…" 

"No, no, it's ok. I just…" Wu Ming hesitates then says quietly, "I'm… Not pleasing to look at…" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I was born with a deformity… I didn't wish for His Highness to be afraid or disgusted by it…" 

"Well, can I still see you?"

Wu Ming looks down, and doesn’t say anything. He lifts one hand up to his mask and keeps it there. Xie Lian, from his part, lifts his own and gently takes the hand and caresses it. This makes the ghost turn to look back at him.

"Wu Ming, I know this might be silly,” Xie Lian starts, “But today… I think I've felt the happiest I've ever been in so long." 

He takes a moment to breathe then continues, “It's strange, I mean, I just lost everything that was important to me a couple of days ago. I felt so lost I almost… And yet, today, right now even, I feel… Relief? Free? Hah, I don’t even know how to say it… Like it’s been a long time.”

Xie Lian feels the way Wu Ming’s hand turns in his, and holds his hand too. It seems like he does it without thinking, because his fingers shake under Xie Lian’s.

"But with you, I feel safe. I feel genuinely happy and comfortable. So, I want to see you for who you are. To me, whatever you look like under that mask won't change anything for me,” He lifts his other hand and pushes away the bangs covering the right side of his mask, “Because you’re still you.”

Wu Ming looks at him for a bit before he looks down and nods to himself. He seems to steel himself before he frees his hand from Xie Lian’s hold and with both hands and unties the mask, but before he takes it off, Xie Lian stops him with one hand and says, “Only do it if you’re ok with it, not because I asked you to.”

Wu Ming shakes his head, “I want to. I trust you.”

Xie Lian nods slowly when he notices that despite fear, there’s no hesitation in Wu Ming’s voice, then slowly lowers his hand. 

When the mask comes off, Xie Lian can’t help but gasp in awe. 

He’d seen the ghosts lower half of his face during breakfast, and he’d noticed he has nice features, but seeing it fully, he thinks he’s looking at the most handsome man he’s ever laid eyes on. It’s difficult to describe it, but it stirs something in Xie Lian’s heart that makes him breathless. Despite having his eyes closed, he emits some sort of wild, carefree aura that seems to be hidden and contained by the calm, shy demeanor. He just knows that if he smiled, it’d be like a fox knowing it’s got its prey, or if he frowned, he’d scare anyone that dared get in his way. 

It feels familiar too.

Xie Lian lifts his hand again and pushes back the wild hair that always manages to cover Wu Ming’s right side, and when he does, Wu Ming jumps lightly in surprise, slowly opening his eyes, and…

Oh …

Staring back at him, are a pair of mismatched colored eyes, one black, and the other bright red.

Something, there’s something about him that makes Xie Lian’s heart stir to the point of feeling breathless. With the way Wu Ming looks at Xie Lian with those pleading eyes, as if afraid that he’ll pull back in disgust or fear, or instead, as if begging to not be pushed away, it awakens something protective in Xie Lian. Something he felt a long time ago, when he believed he was on top of the world, so powerful he could do anything, with a boy whose screams were filled with hate and despair. 

“Hong’er?” Xie Lian asks with a broken whisper as he caresses Wu Ming’s right cheek, carefully under the bright red eye.

Wu Ming’s eyes widen in surprise and if Xie Lian wasn’t so… overwhelmed, he would giggle at the idea that he can finally see what his expression looks like under that mask, and not imagine what it’d be like.

“Your Highness… Remembers me?” 

“I do. Wu Ming, Hong Hong’Er, I do! Of course I do!” Xie Lian says happily as he holds his face with both hands and admires him, and the more he looks, the more he wants to keep this young man, this ghost, safe and far away from any danger, so he never gets hurt ever again. 

“You’re perfect," Xie Lian manages to say breathlessly after a while, “Hong’Er, you’re perfect.” He leans forward and hugs him tightly, feeling tears slipping from his eyes when he feels Wu Ming hugging him back, and when the first tears fall, the rest follow without him being able to stop them.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t protect you. You died so young, Hong’Er… I failed you, I’m sorry…” he sniffs then huffs, “I’ve been too emotional today haha, sorry…”

“No, no, Your Highness, Gege," Wu Ming pulls back and takes Xie Lian's hands in his own, "My death wasn't your fault, not even anything that happened while I was alive. If anything, you made it better since I met you.”

He squeezes Xie Lian's hands, signaling to meet his eyes, and says, "And, I was already destined to die. The Star of Solitude. I wasn't going to live past 18, so to have lived and died serving you was an honor."

“But you didn’t have to die like that. Not for me, and not for some… stupid war…” Xie Lian holds onto Wu Ming’s hands like a lifeline. 

“... But I’m still here, aren’t I?” Wu Ming asks and Xie Lian meets his eyes, “Even after death, Gege still saved me. You shouldn’t feel like it’s your fault I died when you’ve given me life once more.”

“But I took it from you again,” Xie Lian says, “I know you’re here, and you’re ok, but I also know for sure that you… You were dispersed when I was supposed to take that curse.”

“And that was something I chose to do. You didn’t ask me to take the curse for you, I did it on my own.” For the first time since they met, Wu Ming sounds firm, contradicting him in a way that says he’s not willing to accept anymore comments from Xie Lian saying it’s his fault. 

This makes Xie Lian stop. He knew there was something powerful about Wu Ming, he just needed to get out of his shell.

The thought makes Xie Lian huff and shake his head fondly. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore, not when he knows they could go on and on about it being or not being each one’s doing. They can be stubborn when they want to be, it seems.

Still, Xie Lian starts to play with Wu Ming’s fingers nervously, with one thing coming to mind. 

“What about your beloved?” He whispers.

“What about them?” Wu Ming asks back just as quietly.

“Won’t they…” Xie Lian shakes his head when he feels a small pang in his chest, “I mean… You’re not with them… We don’t even know where we are… ” He doesn’t say what he meant to ask, but he hopes it’s understandable.

He doesn’t know what hurts more: the fact that Wu Ming’s beloved finds out he died for his kingdom and has suffered so much before and after that, or that… Wu Ming has to leave at some point, to go look for them. 

“I think they will be ok.” Wu Ming says as he looks at him with a small, gentle smile and such a soft gaze, it squeezes Xie Lian’s heart. 

Even if it hurts Xie Lian to part ways with Wu Ming, if there’s someone that can make him smile like that, then he will be happy knowing that at least his friend will be ok. 

He deserves to be happy. 

“Well,” Xie Lian swallows tightly and before he feels… Anything, he starts removing his boots and outer robes, “First, we should find out what’s going on and how we got here, so you can know for sure. Tomorrow, I promise I’ll ask as much as I can to the villagers, maybe they have a clue…” He stops when he sees something black over one of his ankles, and then he feels his heart drop. 

Slowly, he removes his sock and when his fear is confirmed, he hastily moves to remove the bandages on his neck, looking for a mirror or anything reflective inside the shrine.

He finds a mirror and when he sees the cursed shackle still on his neck, now with a similar one on his ankle, he sits back heavily on the mat. Slowly, he looks at Wu Ming who also looks shocked with something like anger burning in his eyes, but when he looks at Xie Lian, he tries to school his expression with barely contained rage.

Xie Lian doesn’t say anything, but runs his hand over the familiar shackle on his neck. Despite the shock, even the new shackle on his foot doesn’t feel new at all, like his body is used to its presence. Maybe that’s why he never noticed it in the first place, because if it was, he knows he would’ve felt it as soon as he woke up.

He takes a deep breath and gets comfortable on the mat, trying to calm his racing heart. 

“So… we know I must’ve ascended again, and got banished to get another shackle,” Xie Lian thinks out loud, “There’s this temple dedicated to me but this place doesn’t seem to be anywhere close to Yong'An or Xian Le. We woke up in some inn that this “Master Hua” paid for, and who seems to be close to me enough for people to assume he’s always with me…” Xie Lian shakes his head denying this silly thought, “What do you think is going on?" Xie Lian turns to Wu Ming, who’s still seated by his side, glancing from time to time to the cursed shackle on his foot. 

When called, Wu Ming clears his throat and says, "I'm not sure, but at least, I don't think it was yesterday that we were in Yong'An. I don’t think we’re even close." 

"I think so too. I  just know something else happened after, but it's bits and pieces that I can’t put together…" 

"I have that feeling too…" Wu Ming says as he lifts his hand up to his face, reaching his right eye.

“Well, we have time to think and gather information. We should sleep now…” Xie Lian suggests, then hesitates when he turns and sees how much space is left on the mat. He doesn’t even stop to re-think what he just asked so his face doesn’t get warm again, and pats the spot next to him, inviting Wu Ming to lay down too.

There’s nothing wrong with this, he’s sure. 

“I- I couldn’t possibly…”

“It’s ok. You need to rest too, come on.” Xie Lian says convinced. 

“Uhm… Ok…” Wu Ming, if a little awkwardly, obediently lays down on the mat with his hands folded over his chest, closing his eyes tightly. This makes Xie Lian laugh out loud, and when Wu Ming opens his eyes to look at him and pouts, he laughs louder. 

“So proper…” Xie Lian says warmly as he puts a blanket that was folded neatly next to the mat over both of them, making sure Wu Ming is covered. Then, he lays back down and gets in a similar position. 

It’s the first time he’s shared a bed with anyone since he was a child and would go to his parents whenever he wanted, and yet, this doesn’t feel strange, or wrong. 

A crazy thought comes to mind that makes him realize why he’s had this strange feeling of familiarity since they were both on that ox cart, but before he thinks too much, the rollercoaster of emotions throughout the day start to catch up to him and before he knows it, he falls asleep. 

There’s a clash of swords with a flash of the half smiling and half crying mask coming and going. Then, there’s the Emperor, wounded but still giving it his all in the fight. Then, there’s loneliness and bad luck.

There’s a young prince destined for greatness; then there’s betrayal and a pang on his chest that doesn’t hurt as much as a thousand swords stabbing his body, but still a throbbing feeling that doesn’t stop, producing enough blood to feel like he’s choking with it. 

There’s a bunch of years of getting used to the light, then a kingdom in the desert. There’s children and a war. And then there’s the feeling of being stepped on so much that all the bones in his body break and can’t move for so long. 

There’s a red sedan meant for a bride, only he’s inside it. Red fills his vision, under a veil and with the clothes the person next to him wears. 

There’s a ride on an ox cart, and a chat with a young man with clothes red as maple, and skin white as snow. 

There’s so much pain in the beginning, but eventually, there’s peace. There’s happiness. There’s trust. There’s… 

Everything banishes as thousands of silver butterflies appear and behind it all, a white half smiling, half crying mask appears.

Xie Lian jumps awake, his heart feeling tense again. It takes a moment for him to catch his breath, trying to make sense of whatever it is he dreamt about. He couldn’t see any clear faces, and the events were all so blurry, all he could really make out from them were the pain and how he felt through them. 

He sighs as he lets his head fall on his hands, holding it tightly as he tries to cling onto that little bit of peace he had by the end. 

When he calms down, he turns to his side and finds he’s alone. He looks around to see if Wu Ming is inside, when he sees a small white flower on the altar, hidden between some offerings, as if trying to go unnoticed. Xie Lian goes up to it and takes it, caressing the petals delicately so as to not damage it. He smiles to himself and presses it to his chest, close to his heart. 

His little Hong’er hasn’t changed in all these years.

But where is he? A small, anxious part of himself asks, but before he starts to feel dread, he hears something just outside, and when he opens the door, he sees Wu Ming sweeping some leaves away.

Xie Lian sighs in relief and when he goes unnoticed, he watches him quietly some more. His mask is tied on his head, but it’s not covering his face, it’s just ready for him to pull it down when he wants to. It leaves him with the beautiful sight of Wu Ming’s handsome features being hit with the morning Sun’s warm light. There’s a small frown on his expression, as if he’s bothered by something.

Xie Lian smiles to himself as he feels his heart beating faster inside his chest. There’s something about this ghost that makes him feel so effortlessly happy he can’t imagine anyone else making him feel like this, and when the thought comes to mind, he remembers the small theory that had been forming in his mind just before falling asleep. 

As if feeling he’s being observed, Wu Ming turns and Xie Lian, first surprised, then his gaze turns so soft, there’s that now familiar pang on Xie Lian’s chest again. He just shakes it off and goes up to Wu Ming, his little flower still in hand. 

“I think I have a theory.” It’s the first thing he says before he regrets it.

“What is it?” Wu Ming asks seriously, his whole attention now on Xie Lian.

The prince smiles then says, “Something tells me this “Xiao Hua” is a certain someone that likes to hang around this old man despite having better and more important things to do…”

“You’re not old, Gege,” Wu Ming says instantly with an eyebrow raised, his eyes twinkling under the sunlight  and a smile, a teasing, devilish grin. How could he possibly think he’s unsightly when he’s so unbelievably beautiful?

“Ehem, well” Xie Lian coffs to hide his face and hope it’s not red, “I think you must be this “Xiao Hua” everyone kept talking about yesterday. It makes sense for my little flower to get a nickname like that.” He says as he boldly puts the tiny flower over one of Wu Ming’s ears. 

The embarrassment Xie Lian feels from doing something so daring is so worth it when he sees the expression on Wu Ming’s face. He just knows that, if he was alive, his face would be as red as his beautiful eye.

“Or, would you rather I still called you Hong’er?” Xie Lian asks, trying to give the poor ghost another thing to think about. 

“I- No… I uh, I think Xiao Hua works… I just… I don’t go by Hong’Er anymore. Not since I died.” Wu Ming explains, still looking bashfully to the sides. 

This makes Xie Lian slightly sad somehow. It sounds as though, after dying, Wu Ming tried to become a different person by leaving everything about his life behind, starting by his own name, and thinking about how he was treated, and the state he was always in whenever they met, no wonder he would… It’s still sad to think of it like that.

“Well, do you like Xiao Hua?”

“I had been thinking and… I believe San Lang is better.” Wu Ming says quietly, “I don’t know why but…”

“It feels right?” Xie Lian finishes and knows it’s true.

“Yes, it does.” Wu Ming, or rather, San Lang, says with a smile as he meets his eyes. 

“Ok, then San Lang it is,” Xie Lian smiles back at him and gently takes his hand, “Come, let’s have breakfast. I suggest you eat the steamed buns we saved from yesterday, because later I’ll try to prepare something, and I don’t think it’ll be good.”

“I can eat anything Gege makes,” San Lang says in between giggles.

They both prepare the table and the steamed buns and eat together, then Xie Lian turns to the sleeping mat and remembers the weird dreams he had. Dreams he’s almost sure were real. 

“Gege?” 

“Yes?” 

“Did you sleep well tonight?” San Lang asks carefully.

“Why?”

“I noticed you were tossing and turning, complaining in your sleep. I tried to wake you at times, but you were deep in sleep.” 

Ah. 

“Ah, well you see… I did have some strange dreams. They were not super clear though, so I can barely remember the details. I just remember… Well, nothing good.”

San Lang gasps and looks hurt in his stead. It’s so endearing Xie Lian can’t help but huff a laugh, “But it’s ok. It’s nothing too bad really. I just think that maybe those were not just random dreams but actual memories.”

“Mn…” San Lang hums, deep in thought. 

“Did you get to rest?” Xie Lian asks to bring him out of his head.

“Ah, yes. I didn't think I would sleep, but I did… I also had those kinds of dreams,” San Lang brings a hand up to his right eye and covers it, either to shield it for protection, or to hide it out of spite, Xie Lian can’t tell, “I can’t remember much either.”

“It’s ok. At least we have some clues. First one being, it’s been at least a couple of years since that day… Maybe a decade or two? In my dreams it felt much longer though…”

“Perhaps the villagers know something .”

“Mn! Hopefully they do!”

They don’t…

After having breakfast, both Xie Lian and San Lang decided to go ask some of their "neighbors" (the people who live the closest to the shrine) about what they knew, or at least that’s what they’d intended to do. 

Instead, when they got there, the couple in the house greeted them warmly, saying “Ah, My Lord! Xiao Hua! You came to help us with the field again? You two never take a moment to rest…”

Xie Lian didn’t know how to say that was not what they came for, and thought it’d be rude to do so in the first place, so in the end, they ended up with their robes pulled up from their sleeves and pants, Xie Lian wearing his straw hat and San Lang with his smiling mask, helping in a rice field. 

He still managed to ask the couple what they knew about Xian Le. 

“Daozhang… It sounds like you’re testing us, when you haven’t told us much about the god in your shrine!” The lady says.

“You just told us he’s a god from a kingdom that existed long ago, and that he can’t help with neither wealth, love or fertility.” Says her husband. 

Ah.

Yeah… he doesn’t think he could help with any of that.

He tried to ask some of the other people working on the field if anyone knew something else, but no one did, only that he usually has some very strange visitors that are very noisy (one of them in particular is super annoying).

So yes, their research came to nothing. 

Pouty and without any new clues, Xie Lian works on his side of the field with ease, as if he’s done this before without a problem. 

“Don't worry Gege,” San Lang says when he sees he’s sulking, “There must be someone who knows something that can help, I’m sure.”

“Yeah…” Xie Lian still pouts and says, “I’m just afraid that there might be something dangerous that got us into this. What if it was some memory-eating ghost? Or if it was something else? Something worse! What if…?” Without thinking, someone came to mind and he didn’t like it. 

“Gege, it’s ok.” San Lang says as he holds his shoulders and makes him look him in the eyes, “We’ll figure this out, together. You’re not alone on this.”

Xie Lian wishes he didn’t have his mask on. He put it on since they left the shrine, saying he still doesn’t like the idea of anyone seeing him, and Xie Lian understood, but he still wishes he could see him. He loves looking at San Lang. 

He looks down and with a small smile, he says, “I know. Thank you.” 

San Lang nods and slowly lets go of him, staying close but continuing his work. 

Xie Lian looks at him some more before he sees there’s some girls looking at them, so he waves and they quickly look away. Xie lian laughs and jokes, “I think San Lang has some admirers. I bet some people here missed seeing their Xiao Hua…”

“What is Gege saying?” He sounds shy, but there’s a tinge of mischief in his voice, “I bet it’s Gege who they missed.”

“Nonesense…” He shakes his head then looks down again. There’s that feeling of giddiness inside him once more that he can’t really understand. He feels happy. He feels silly. 

Yeah, he feels silly. He hasn’t been silly in so long (at least from what he remembers), and that’s maybe why, when he looks at the water that reaches his ankles, hiding that cursed shackle that’s making more sense little by little, he gives it a playful kick and sends water to San Lang’s legs. 

San Lang turns and tilts his head, his ponytail swaying to the side and he looks so, so cute, Xie Lian can’t help but do it again. 

This time San Lang tries to dodge, but it’s in vain. He still gets hit with the water and then Xie Lian hears a laugh coming from under that mask. 

He doesn’t say anything, but San Lang bends down, gathers a bit of water in his hands and splashes Xie Lian with it. 

It takes him by surprise that he would do that, since San Lang is still so proper and well-behaved around him, and even San Lang’s body language says he too is surprised, but then Xie Lian laughs and does the same, splashing the ghost with as much water as possible. 

Then, they’re both laughing loudly, throwing and kicking water at each other as if they were children again, not enough to drench them of course, but enough to dirty Xie Lian’s white robes. 

They both get so distracted in their unexpected game, that Xie Lian trips on a stone and falls on San Lang, who, in an attempt to catch him, also falls over and then they’re both on the water, dirty with mud and their robes soaking, with Xie Lian resting over San Lang.

Xie Lian pulls back to look at San Lang and after a beat, they’re both laughing loudly again to the point their stomachs hurt. He leans into San Lang, who brings a hand up to his back to steady him.

When Xie Lian pulls back, he meets San Lang’s eyes. He pushes his own straw hat back and the sunlight hits both of their faces, letting it light up San Lang’s eyes through the mask. They’re wide, and so, so beautiful Xie Lian keeps his eyes on them as he leans in slowly. 

San Lang gasps almost inaudibly as Xie Lian closes the distance between them and kisses the smile on San Lang’s mask. Right over where San Lang’s lips would be. 

It’s just a peck. A short, delicate kiss, but as soon as Xie Lian realizes what he’s just done, he pulls back and falls on his butt on the water, his face heating up instantly.

“I- San Lang…”

“Daozhang!” Someone calls from behind him and they both jump, turning to the woman that just called, “You’ve already worked for so long! Go back home and rest, thank you for your help!”

“Ah…” Xie Lian moves to stand up, but then a hand is offered to him. 

Slowly, he looks up and for a moment, he sees a hand with a red string tied onto one of the fingers, pushing aside a red curtain on a red sedan. 

When he looks at San Lang though, he hesitates to take his hand when he notices he’s not even looking at him, but eventually takes the offered hand. 

“Thank you,” he whispers as he tries to wring his clothes out as much as he can before they go meet the lady, who takes the baskets they were using and tells them to go home and rest.

Surely she must've seen they were just playing around by the end, but… did she see what happened after? Is that why she politely asked them to leave? 

And San Lang… Is he…?

As they walk side by side, Xie Lian glances shyly at him, and sees San Lang won't meet his eyes, in fact, he keeps them trained on the road as they head back.

He wants so badly to say something, anything, but he knows, oh he knows , what he did is wrong. How could he do that? When he knows San Lang has a beloved? A reason why he still remains in this world instead of moving on? 

How could he be so selfish???

It wasn't even a real kiss, but the intent was there. He can't make up any sort of excuse, and he doesn't even want to. 

It just happened. 

It happened, and Xie Lian got lost in the moment, in the feeling of San Lang's hand on him, making him feel safe, right after a moment of sheer joyfulness. But that's what he does. San Lang makes him happy so effortlessly. 

That's why it hurts more to think about what he did.

He has to say sorry.

He has to tell San Lang to go look for his beloved, to not spend so much time with him anymore. 

He has to leave before Xie Lian begs him not to go.

"S-San Lang?" Xie Lian says as they're approaching the shrine.

"Yes?" San Lang replies and it's so quiet Xie Lian doesn't know if it's barely contained anger or fear.

And oh no… Now Xie Lian has a horrible, horrible thought come to mind. His San Lang, his Wu Ming, his Hong'er, who'd followed him since he was just a kid, who followed him even after death… 

If Xie Lian asked him anything, his most loyal and last believer, would do it without hesitation. Whether it is to leave or to stay, he'd do it. 

If he were to… confess anything… San Lang would accept it, because that's what his prince, his god would want.

Before Xie Lian starts to feel the anxiety set in, San Lang lets out a pained grunt and bends forward, looking for something to hold onto. 

"San Lang?! What's wrong? Are you ok?!" Now he's anxious, but for another reason.

"I'm ok. His Highness doesn't have to worry…Ugh." And then he falls to his knees. 

"San Lang…" Xie Lian lifts the mask over San Lang's head and in his eyes, he can see the pain, "San Lang, you're burning!" he exclaims when he feels his face.

"I'm ok. It'll pass." San Lang says as he reaches for Xie Lian's hand and holds it tight. Maybe it feels cold to him, or maybe it just hurts that much.

"Do you think you can make it to the shrine?" 

"Yes… It's passing too. It's fine." 

"Ok… Well, let's hurry back." Xie Lian says as he carefully pulls the mask down and helps San Lang get up. He loses his balance for a moment, but quickly steadies himself. 

It doesn't take even an incense's time before they make it back to the shrine. Xie Lian is already thinking of running over to get some water for San Lang, and getting some wet cloth to put over his face, when he sees two men standing by the entrance.

Xie Lian sighs in frustration, thinking that right now, his first priority is San Lang, but as they get closer, he puts on a polite smile.

"Hello, how can we help…you…?" He stops when he sees these are not just two ordinary young men, but a couple of Heaven Officials from the Middle Court.

"Ah, Your Highness, you're here, we were looking for you," One of them says, the one with black hair. 

He tenses when he thinks of his, as far as he knows, recent experience with Junior Heavenly Officials.

He knows they're missing a couple of years from when that happened, enough for people to have never heard of Xian Le or Yong'An, but dread still runs through his spine, thinking they're here to bother him about his past mistakes.

At least, it does until San Lang moves to stand protectively in front of him.

Both the officials look surprised before the other official, with brown hair, asks, "What's up with him?" He glances at him up and down, judging his attire, “And what is he wearing? Is he now into parade costumes or something?" 

The one next to him elbows him on the ribs and then he looks like he's ready to start a fight, but then Xie Lian speaks up.

"Don't you dare make fun of my friend." He says in such a cold voice it sounds exactly like it did when he almost became a Calamity: monotone, and threatening. 

The heavenly juniors look at each other in surprise, then the one with black hair says, "Ignore him. I don't even know why he came."

"Hey, obviously I came here to help!"

"Well, go help somewhere else if you're going to pick fights with everyone!"

"All right, all right…" Why do these people feel so familiar? They couldn't possibly be… “What can I help you with?”

“Ling Wen had been looking for you. After the reunion with the Emperor, you seemed to have disappeared. We just assumed you didn't have any spiritual energy and that's why she couldn't contact you.”

“Ling Wen… The Emperor?” Xie Lian whispers to himself. So he did ascend for a third time…

“Yes.”

“You do remember your mission, right? You are to work with Quan Yizhen, he should be coming here in the next couple of days," says the one with brown hair as he almost turns his eyes in annoyance but holds back. 

“I…” Xie Lian narrows his eyes in confusion, and for as much as he tries to remember, he can't. So, risking looking rude to these two people that seem to know him (he has his suspicion that maybe they do more than any junior official would), he tries to ask courtly, “I'm sorry, I just… How can I address you?” 

This time, both juniors narrow their eyes and wear the same expression of disbelief. 

"What do you mean by that? You can't have forgotten about us! I know you said that other time you'd rather remember what you ate yesterday than remember being trampled to death," a chill runs down Xie Lian's spine at this, thinking about that part from his dream, "But you really can't have such a terrible memory?" The junior with brown hair asks, sounding truly offended.

"Well, you see, I think I have forgotten a couple of years, because I don't really know where I am, or what's going on."

"Did Crimson Rain do this?" The one with black hair asks, glancing at San Lang.

"Who?" 

"Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Hua Cheng! Is this your doing? What are you planning?" The one with brown hair asks as he points at San Lang, who remains protectively in front of Xie Lian, but when the questions get directed at him, Xie Lian holds the outstretched arm and pulls him closer to him.

"No, he's just as confused as me! Don't put the blame on him!" 

"Ok ok! We're sorry!" The one with black hair says then turns to his companion, "And you stop trying to mess things up." 

"I'm not! We all know he shouldn't be spending so much time with that man! And even more so now that Mt. Tonglu is opening. All the ghosts are going insane!"

"Well, you shouting doesn't make anything easier!"  

"Then you should stop shouting too!" 

"Ok! Stop fighting you two!" Xie Lian stands between them before they start to fist fight. 

He sighs, then looks at the one with black hair, "You, you're… Feng Xin…?"

"Wh- what?" 

"And you… Mu… Qing…? 

"Huh??" 

"You- how did you know???" The one with black hair, Feng Xin, asks bewildered.

"Well… I know you two well enough to know how you fight." Plus, looking at them closely, they look very similar to themselves, only swapping hair color and looking younger. He doesn't say this though, because if they came disguised, then it means he either hadn't figured out before (unlikely), or he kept the secret from them so they could feel comfortable in their skins. But right now, he has to throw courtesy out the window if he wants answers. 

"Tch, so you really knew from the start," Mu Qing says as he changes skin.

"Shut up," Fen Xin says as he follows, "I guess there's no use in hiding then." 

Xie Lian looks at both of them and is surprised to find that, not only are they in heaven, but they're gods themselves.

They both look powerful and healthy, but mostly, they look slightly older than they had when they separated. There’s an aura of grandeur surrounding both of them, and he knows they must be very strong gods now.

He's happy for them, of course he is, but seeing them, especially… 

When Mu Qing looks at him, Xie Lian narrows his eyes and moves to stand next to San Lang, who raises his arm protectively again and looks ready to fight.

"What? What's wrong?" Mu Qing asks then slowly, his eyes widen as he takes in Xie Lian's expression.

Feng Xin also seems to notice the look he's getting, because he asks Xie Lian slowly, "Your Highness, what's the last thing you remember?"

Xie Lian pauses and hesitantly turns to look at San Lang next to him. San Lang slowly looks back at him, but quickly lowers his gaze from under the smiling mask. 

He thinks for a moment before Xie Lian says "We had a fight. You left not long ago..." He hears Feng Xin gasp but he still adds quietly, "The king and queen died a few days ago." 

He unconsciously runs his hand on top of where Rouye is, while the cloth unwinds from his neck and arms slightly, rubbing against him comfortingly. San Lang also glances at him before looking back at the other two warily.

He doesn't go into any more details, but Xie Lian thinks they understand by the way his old retainers look at each other, then lower their gazes with guilt in their eyes. 

"So, in your eyes, Xian Le… You've just…" Feng Xin looks like he's trying to confirm the information but doesn't know how to say it. 

Next to him, Mu Qing seems to sigh in frustration. Not directed to him though, but more to himself. 

"So 800 years have just vanished from his mind?" He asks exasperated.

Xie Lian and San Lang both tense when they hear this. 

"800 years??? Has it been that long???" 

"Yes," Feng Xin says, "It's been around eight centuries since Xian Le fell, which was a little before your second ascension and banishment." 

Xie Lian feels like he's losing his breath but still tries to ask, "Did… When did I ascend for the second time?" 

Feng Xin seems to think about how to say it, before he steels himself and says, "A few days after I… we parted ways. Probably no more than a couple of weeks later." 

And that clears Xie Lian's doubts about that time. If he really ascended after what happened in Yong'An, he just knows he would've asked to be banished again. He didn't deserve to ascend after what he did. 

But, 800 years? How has he been around that long? And he ascended again after so many years? What was he even doing at the time? How has he been living?

"After you left," San Lang says very quietly under that mask, but it's loud enough for everyone to hear him.

"Excuse me?"

“After you left,” San Lang raises his voice and stands straight, looking imposing in front of the other two. He’s clearly younger, but is still taller than them, “You didn’t part ways, you abandoned him. Both of you.”

“Ah… That’s not…” Xie Lian puts his hand on San Lang’s arm and gets a strange feeling, like a chill running down his spine, despite San Lang’s arm feeling warm.

It’s demonic aura. 

“And what do you know, huh?” Mu Qing asks him, “Who even are you to ask that of us? You don’t even know anything!”

“I know enough. Enough to know you two left him when he needed someone the most. Enough to know you were willing to betray him to have your own reputation clean.” He says accusingly, with barely contained anger. 

“Hey, we did what we had to do!”

“You ran away like cowards when he was suffering!”

“We had our own problems too!” 

“AND WHAT PROBLEMS COULD YOU HAVE?!”

“San-” Xie Lian tries to hold onto his arm and pulls him back again, but San Lang is already enraged. 

“What could you two have possibly gone through that was worse than what he had going on, ah?!” San Lang steps forward, his body tense to the point it’s shaking, “Was Your Highness’s image too grand in your minds you couldn’t accept any sort of mistake from his part? What is a bit of stealing when you have to think of the people you care about? When they are the only ones left? What’s being rightfully angry when you get spat on your face by someone you thought a friend? What’s being hysterical when you get chased down by a maniac ghost only to be called crazy by the ones you trust most?!”

As he talks more, his voice raises, and his whole body looks so tense. He looks enraged, like a wild beast barely contained before it destroys its prey. The demonic energy around him is more intense, and somehow, he even looks taller than before.

“Do you know what that’s like? To feel despair and yet have no one to talk to? To call out to someone and have no one respond? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE KILLED OVER AND OVER BUT BE UNABLE TO DIE?!”

“SAN LANG!” 

Xie Lian takes San Lang's arm and makes him turn to him, and when he does, San Lang seems to calm down a little despite his whole body still feeling tense and extremely warm. He looks like he’s ready to throw a punch, or do… Something, anything to let out that energy from his body.

"San Lang, stop…" He breathes. 

He stops San Lang because he doesn't want Feng Xin and Mu Qing to hear that. He doesn't want them to know what happened that time, in that temple. If they know, then it's not important, but if they don't, he doesn't want them to ever find out. Them, or anyone.

He stops San Lang because he doesn't want them to know… But also because he's surprised to find out he was there too.

He saw that. He saw everything.

On that day. In that temple.

He didn't remember the little ghost fire being there. He was too angry, too scared, too preoccupied with all the people trapped there, and the monster overseeing it all, that he had forgotten about the ghost that had prevented him from going there. 

He had forgotten about the scream he could barely make out as he lost consciousness wasn't his own.

He never knew who started the fire on that temple. Who killed everyone in that place.

But then again… He wanted to forget. 

He didn't want to think about that moment, so maybe it's understandable that he didn't remember, even if it’s only been two months.

But that little ghost fire, San Lang, was there. He knew there was danger and tried to keep him from going, he even blocked the way despite Xie Lian telling him to move, only complying when he saw he was serious about going.

He saw everything.

He has always been there for him.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness. I don't know why I… I shouldn’t have, it’s not my place to…" San Lang says so quietly, he looks so small compared to how he behaved just now, so imposing and ready to destroy anyone. 

Like the small ghost that took form out of rage when he saw what had become of him on that altar. Quickly becoming a Wrath ghost right after during those two months it took for what was left of Xie Lian’s body to heal, ready to help him unleash a curse to destroy everyone in revenge. 

Like the beaten up child that became a soldier and swore to never forget him.

"Is he…" Feng Xin starts carefully, "What is he talking about, Your Highness?”

When Xie Lian is brought back to reality, he remembers they’re not alone, and so does his companion, because he looks ready to fight against the two Heaven Officials, the killing intent so strong he knows this will not end well for his old friends, so, without thinking twice, Xie Lian takes San Lang's hand and runs. 

He doesn't turn back when he hears both Feng Xin and Mu Qing calling out to them.

He doesn't stop as they enter the orange forest and run through the endless sea of trees. 

He only stops when the warmth of San Lang's hand becomes too much, too hot for someone who's always so cold. 

"San Lang, it's ok. We're out of there. What can I help you with?" He says as he removes San Lang’s mask again, noticing how warm his face is. 

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. I almost told them, I almost…” 

“No, no, it’s ok. You were upset. It’s ok.” He placates as he gently cups San Lang’s face. 

“But it’s not!” San Lang replies, affronted. His eyes are full of emotion and they shine with unshed tears of either frustration or fear, maybe both, “You were the one who suffered! You were the one in pain, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it!” He covers his face with his hands, the right one putting so much pressure over his right eye, Xie Lian fears he might scratch his face or hurt it. 

“But it’s not your fault!” He forcefully pulls San Lang’s hands away from his face, “San Lang, you shouldn’t be angry for something you didn’t do! If anything, you shouldn’t have seen that! You shouldn’t have been there in the first place!!!”

San Lang starts shaking again, but this time, he doesn't feel as warm, in fact, his body temperature seems to be going back to normal.

"I’m sorry you had to see that.” Xie Lian says as he caresses San Lang’s right cheek.

“No, Your Highness… No…” San Lang moves to take that hand and pull it away, but instead, he holds onto his sleeves and clings onto him, “I was supposed to be stronger. I was supposed to protect you.” He says it so, so quietly, like a prayer he’s afraid will go unheard. 

It almost does. But not to Xie Lian. Not to him.

“I have a beloved who is still in this world.”

“I want to protect them.”

“I pray to never rest in peace.”

All at once, Xie Lian has a horrible thought. Horrible, in making San Lang’s pain all the worse with that knowledge, but one that also makes his heart beat faster with something that feels like… hope.

“San Lang…” He whispers as the ghost, his last, most loyal believer, clings onto him like a lifeline. Xie Lian himself feels himself holding onto him just as tightly when he asks, "Who's your beloved?"

San Lang pauses, before he lets a long sigh. Then he huffs a defeated laugh and without ever letting go, he says quietly. 

"My beloved is a noble, gracious, special someone, who has saved my life multiple times. He's been there for me, when no one else would. Would hold me in his arms, when everyone else would push me away."

Just then, he lifts his head, and his eyes are filled with intent, piercing and so, so full of determination and... Adoration. It takes Xie Lian's breath away, and even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to look away. 

"He gave me life. A purpose to stay in this world that I once wanted to destroy. He gave me freedom, a reason to want to keep moving forward, to become stronger, to become wiser, all so that I could be worthy of staying by his side, to protect him."

He looks down and smiles a little, shyly.

"If I could, I'd let him use me however he sees fit. As a stepping stone to reach higher, a bridge to move forward, as a servant that would do anything he wants... I would gladly let him, and I would never complain, but... I've seen that, despite everything, he's still good, and kind.

"He doesn't see himself worthy of being a god, or a prince anymore, but to me, he's the only one worthy. My prince. My only God."

At this, Xie Lian releases the breath he didn’t know he was holding. A few tears also run freely down his face.

"But, this…” San Lang continues when he sees them, “I don't expect anything, Your Highness. I never followed you expecting anything. Just seeing you safe, and happy is all I ever need- "

And then, he stops altogether, feeling a pair of lips pressed against his own. Before, there was a mask between them, and while the intent was there, now... There is no mistaking this. 

There’s nothing between them anymore.

San Lang pulls back a little and starts, "Your Highne-" but is once again cut off by Xie Lian kissing him, this time more firmly, tilting his head so it feels just right. And it does, but only when San Lang relaxes and kisses him back with as much intent.

When San Lang hugs him back, and he adjusts the position they’re in, it feels like they’ve waited for years, centuries, for this. Like it was meant to be. Like they’ve done this before…

How do they know how to do this? How are their lips moving so coordinated, as if they already know the way they kiss? Like they know each other so well they don’t have to think too much about it?

Maybe they do, or maybe they don’t. Maybe Xie Lian is too in love and this feels like too much for his first kiss, or maybe it really is that good, but Xie Lian can’t help but think over and over, “I love you. You’re perfect. I love you.”

When they part so Xie Lian can breathe, San Lang suddenly says, “We were sleeping together.”

“H-huh?” Xie Lian says, still feeling lightheaded after all the kissing.

“When I woke up yesterday, I was by your side. On the bed. In that inn.” 

Xie Lian takes a moment to process this and then remembers how, when he woke up, San Lang was quick to kneel and beg forgiveness for something. At the moment, he thought it might’ve been because of the curse, but now he understands. San Lang, Wu Ming, was afraid of having overstepped. 

“And… That ring,” San Lang carefully runs his hand over Xie Lian’s neck, hooking a finger on the chain that holds the ring, “These are…”

“Your ashes,” Xie Lian says as he also moves his hand over to where the ring rests on his chest, pressing it to his heart. 

San Lang nods and leans in, resting his forehead on Xie Lian’s. He’s close enough for Xie Lian to admire his beautiful eyes up close, but not enough for their lips to graze each other. He so badly wants to keep kissing him. 

“I think I was right then. My Xiao Hua could’ve only been you, Crimson Rain Sought Flower.”

San Lang only smirks before he leans in once more, both meeting in the middle, but just then, they hear a ruffle of leaves not far from them. Then hurried footsteps. 

“What was that?” Xie Lian asks.

“A ghost,” San Lang replies coldly, his entire demeanor changing in an instant, and just then, they hear in the distance someone calling, “Your Highness!”

“Your Highness! Crimson Rain!”

Xie Lian turns to him and asks, “Should we go chase after that ghost?”

“Yes, let’s. Before it gets away.” He quickly gets up and offers a hand to Xie Lian, who takes it in an instant. 

“Is this really about the ghost, or getting away from them?” He asks teasingly as he tries to hide the way his knees wobble lightly under him. He really just got weak from kissing…

“Maybe both?” San Lang smirks and oh … 

When this is over, he’s going to remind his San Lang how much he loves him.

In an attempt to hide his burning face, Xie Lian takes San Lang’s hand and starts dashing to where they heard the ghost running to. There doesn’t seem to be a clear path to where it’s headed, since it twists and turns at random, but one thing is clear: it’s running away from them.

Hand in hand, they chase after it, but when they get close enough, Xie Lian dashes forward and calls, “Rouye!”

Rouye shoots out like an arrow and ties itself on a couple of trees, making the monster loose balance and quickly wraps itself around it. 

“What is this?” Xie Lian asks as soon as they both get close to it. 

"A lackey. It must be from a Mountain Spirit." 

"Ah, please! Please don't hurt me!" 

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" 

"I was looking for Daozhang! B-but… I didn't think Chengzhu would be here too!" 

"For me?" Xie Lian asks but then turns when San Lang loses balance.

"San Lang? Are you still sick? How can I help you?" 

San Lang from his part only holds his head as he struggles before his eyes widen, with clear recognition in them.

"Gege!" He gasps in relief and slight concern.

"San Lang?" He asks hesitantly as he lifts a hand and runs his fingers through his hair, making San Lang smile.

"I know how to fix this. Let's go! And take that thing with you!" 

"No! Please! PLEASE MY LORD, HAVE MERCY!"

A couple of hours later, they reach the foot of a mountain thanks to the lackey's directions, who was in Puji Village because its master was feeling sick from what he stole from Xie Lian, and sent to look for him. Once they get there, San Lang is about to get rid of it, but Xie Lian convinces him to give it mercy, so he does.

The rest, however, don't get the same fate.

As they go up, more and more creatures come up to attack them, more fierce than the last. They also seem to be more aggressive than they usually would, and some can't even move from the pain. 

"San Lang? Is this the same thing that's affecting you?" He says as he retrieves Rouye from an attack, turning to him and seeing how San Lang, who had been fighting with his bare hands, covers his right eye with one hand, and summons a saber with the other.

An exquisite, yet terrifying scimitar appears in his hand, blinking a bright red eye open, emanating resentful energy. When San Lang lowers the hand on his face, there's an eye patch over his right eye.

Xie Lian can't help but feel a little disappointed when he sees the covered eye, but he can't deny that the eye patch makes San Lang look even more handsome, somehow. Without it, he looks softer overall, still young, but now he looks fiercer, like a wild, untamable, alluring beast.

As soon as he gets the weapon, San Lang smirks and says, "I bet it hurts them more than it does to me," then completely cleans the path with a couple of slashes from the scimitar. 

Then, he turns to Xie Lian, who had been watching with mouth agape this whole time, and tilts his head a little, inviting him to move forward.

Xie Lian quickly shuts his mouth and moves forward, catching up to him. ("I can protect him too! He thinks to himself, not doubting San Lang knows he’s strong… But not at all trying to impress him either, of course…)

"San Lang?"

"Yes, Gege?"

"Uhm… are you…?"

"Yes?" 

"Nothing!" He quickly walks ahead and fights a bunch of monsters on his own, even using a stick as a sword and knocking at least 30 of them in a single blow.

"Let's go!" He says as he keeps going. 

It doesn’t take them long before they reach the top, where the mountain spirit seems to be curling up in insufferable pain, and once he sees them, its eyes seem to light up. At least they do before San Lang points the scimitar to its neck.

“AH, MY LORD! MERCY!”

“Give them back.” He says so coldly, Xie Lian feels it sounds like an entirely different person. His Hong’er, his Wu Ming, really became so strong in the last 800 years…

“YES YES YES YES! You don’t have to ask twice! I was actually going to give it back as soon as I saw you! That’s what I sent my lackeys for after all hahahahaha.” As he says this, he offers San Lang a bright orb, who takes it and turns to Xie Lian with a smile.

“Here Gege! This is it. Your memories.”

“My… Memories?” He says as he lifts a hand to touch it, but stops, “What about yours?”

San Lang’s smile falters lightly and looks away. Xie Lian quickly turns to the monster and lifts it angrily, “Where are his memories? Did you take them too? Give them back!”

“No no no no! I don’t have them! Do you really think I could take My Lord’s memories? IMAGINE! I’d be the next Supreme Ghost! Hahaha- AH!” It grunts in pain when San Lang beats it up. 

“San Lang?” 

“I have my memories back, Gege. I got them earlier.”

“Oh…” Xie Lian sighs in relief and drops the Mountain Spirit, who cowers in fear and hides somewhere, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Seeing Gege worry about me makes me happy,” He says teasingly and when Xie Lian pouts lightly, he laughs for a bit before he sobers and seriously says, “My memories were erased temporarily from the effect of Mount Tonglu. I’ve been getting clearer flashes now and then, but even now my memories are still blurry at times. I just got them back enough to know what happened.”

“Hm…” Xie Lian nods before he says, “You still haven’t replied to my question though.”

San Lang smiles nervously at him, looking down once more, “I was… Afraid. It appears that things are not exactly what we thought.”

“What are they like then?” He asks as he steps closer and takes San Lang’s free hand.

“Would you like to find out?” San Lang lifts the orb for Xie Lian to take.

Xie Lian takes it and looks at it for a moment. He knows that once he gets his memories back, there will be lots of painful things in there. He will see his Wu Ming being torn apart, he will most likely remember being buried alive and trampled to death, remember starvation and thirst. He will remember loneliness. 

But when he looks at San Lang, whatever it is that scares him, he knows it won’t be important. If anything, it’s most likely one of those silly worries he has over him, and for that he feels incredibly fond of him. Despite being such a strong and powerful Ghost King now, he’s still the devoted believer that would worry over something so silly if it has to do with him.

“Whatever it is, I promise my feelings won’t change for you.” He then disperses the orb and he gets surrounded by a bright, sparkly light.

- 3 days earlier -

As Xie Lian walks up the path leading to the village the merchants told him about, he takes a moment to appreciate the beautiful scenery the orange leaves paint as they fall slowly from the trees and land carefully on the trail up the mountain. 

A long time ago, this kind of view only brought up distant memories of Mount Taicang, but now, the only thing he can picture is the calm ride to Puji Village on an ox cart, with a charming boy dressed in red by his side. 

It’s been a couple of days since he and Hua Cheng parted ways in Qian Deng Temple, and with everything going on: the worry about Mount Tonglu opening once more, Qi Rong out there on the loose, Lang Ying staying alone at the shrine, and his mission with Quan Yizhen, he hasn’t had the time to really think about what happened that night. 

Now though, alone here with only Hua Cheng on his mind, his heart feels uneasy.

Falling for Hua Cheng was so easy and natural he didn’t even notice he’d been developing such feelings he never thought he’d have until he had to phase them straight on. With him, Xie Lian felt safe, felt happy, felt… love. 

Not just love for Hua Cheng, but for many things. 

For the little things like cleaning up an old, barely-standing shrine, for cooking and the names he gives his terrible dishes, for helping out in the fields with the Sun tanning his skin, for going out picking up scraps to sell, for meeting new places and seeing some old ones he’d visited many centuries ago… All with the company of someone special, someone who can tell him lots of interesting facts about everything, who can make him smile and laugh so easily, can make him feel treasured and cared for. 

He feels alive again. 

He loves being alive to share the beautiful things this world has to offer with someone. 

Only… That someone is not guaranteed to stay with him. No one is, really. Eventually, everyone has to move on, and Hua Cheng, the person he’s grown to care for from the moment they met and made a space in his heart just for him, already has someone he’d rather spend seeing and living these beautiful things life has to offer  with. 

It’s ok. It will be ok.

Xie Lian knows that, to some extent, Hua Cheng must feel the same about their friendship, so maybe they won’t part ways entirely. They can still meet and hang out, have a couple of adventures here and there, and talk about whatever they’ve seen during their missions and travels. 

He knows he can keep a part of that. Which is why he feels a horrible twist in his stomach when he thinks about that night. 

What beautiful, lovely torture, to spend a whole night kissing the only man he’s ever fallen in love with, when said man already has someone important in his life. To part ways with a simple wave of his hand and an excuse of both of them being busy.

He fled. He knows that. It makes him sick.

With a heavy heart, he keeps walking down the path that reminds him of that first day they actually talked, when things were simple and his heart hadn’t yet grown accustomed to the company. 

He closes his eyes and feels the wind blowing, a leaf caressing his skin as it falls and the birds singing in the distance. 

Like this, it feels like he’s back to that moment, with Hua Cheng by his side. 

Slowly, he opens his eyes and they widen instantly. 

In the distance, he sees the figure of a tall man with long, black hair, sitting on a stone by the path, with a tiny flower in his hands, lost deep in thought.

Is he going crazy now? Or is his mind just being cruel to him, to paint such a lovely image like this for him? He closes his eyes and opens them after a moment, hoping and fearing that this isn’t just his imagination, but it’s not. He really is here. 

Slowly, he takes a deep breath and walks up to the man with clothes read as maple. It seems there’s something bothering him enough to not hear the crunch of the leaves as Xie Lian walks up to him.

“San Lang?” He asks very quietly, and yet Hua Cheng still flinches and looks up, quickly standing up.

“Your Highness!” He says surprised, as if having been caught doing something. 

“Hi!” He tries to sound casual, but oh, he really can’t help the way his heart jumps in his chest. He asks with a smile, “What are you doing here?”

“I…” Hua Cheng seems to hesitate for a moment, looking down to the flower in his hands and then to Xie Lian, “I heard Gege was going to help a village with a ghost problem? So I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

“Oh! You don’t have to worry, I’m sure you have more important things to deal with…” He doesn’t mean to sound accusatory, bringing up what separated them in the first place, but he really fears Hue Cheng might have things to do to protect himself and Ghost City.

“I already closed off Ghost City, so nothing should be going in or out. It’ll be safe.” Hua Cheng replies. It seems like he wants to say more, but in the end he doesn’t. He still can’t look him in the eyes though, and that makes Xie Lian worry. 

“Well… If you’re really ok, then I wouldn’t mind your company,” Xie Lian can’t help admitting, and all the doubt and fear instantly leaves his body when he sees the way Hua Cheng’s eye lights up and his body relaxes entirely. 

“Then, shall we?” Hua Cheng says charmingly as he offers Xie Lian the flower he’d been holding. 

“Mn!” Xie Lian nods and tucks the flower over his ear, making sure it doesn’t get lost. 

They walk in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say, before Xie Lian finally speaks up, “By the way, do you look younger San Lang?”

And he does. He looks more like his “San Lang” skin, still himself, but slightly shorter, a bit skinnier and overall softer, but he’s still wearing his usual elegant red robes, silver jewelry and vambraces, hair loose and the eye patch. While he looks almost 20 in his normal appearance, now he looks around 17, like Xie Lian himself. 

“Oh, this,” He says slightly surprised, as if not expecting Xie Lian to notice, “I have to save spiritual energy, so I changed to be a bit younger.”

“Ah… Are you sure you’re ok?”

“I am! Don’t worry Gege, I promise.” He says so convincingly Xie Lian almost believes him, but after seeing him suffering through the effect of Mount Tonglu for hours, he can’t fully trust his reassurance. 

“Well, if you say so…” He still gives him the benefit of the doubt, “But when we meet the ghost, you let me handle it, ok? In case anything happens I’ll protect you.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels a rush of embarrassment making his face burn. How can he just say this so casually to a literal Ghost King? Whatever happens, out of anyone, it’s Hua Cheng who will be ok!

He turns to Hua Cheng and finds he’s watching him with eyebrows raised and a small smirk on his lips, both surprised and teasingly.

“Ah, I’m sorry San Lang, I don't mean to presume…”

This finally makes Hua Cheng burst out laughing, “Don’t worry Gege! I’m glad you care about this poor San Lang. I fully trust you to take care of me!”

Xie Lian feels his face won’t be going back to its original color anytime soon, but at least, those last traces of unease between them have now dissipated into the usual warmth and friendliness they’ve had from the start. 

He laughs too and hopes that it stays this way for a little while longer. The feeling of something else still lingers between them, but it can be put to the side, for now. 

When they get to the village, they ask around about the ghost that has been tormenting the people there, stealing memories and sending its lackeys to cause trouble.

It doesn't take long before they find the creature's hideout and fight with it, making it let the memories of the villagers go to their owners. The only reason it doesn't get defeated, is because of the sudden wave of demonic energy getting the best of both ghosts. 

Giving priority to his best friend, Xie Lian goes to him and tries to help, but luckily, Hua Cheng doesn't lose consciousness like he did in Qian Deng Temple, as he tries to seal his spiritual energy further. The ghost makes it out of there barely alive, with only a  bunch of memories that he managed to steal from Xie Lian when they didn't notice in the confusion. 

After (kind of) completing their mission, Xie Lian suggests they stay in town for Hua Cheng to rest and not use any more spiritual energy to open any arrays. And so they do.

Some villagers receive them in town and thank them for helping, while some kids from the street go to meet with them, asking about the powerful Daozhang carrying a black, scary sword, and his fearsome, yet cool companion in red. 

They leave to rest with promises of playing around with them the next day.

When they get to the inn, the unexpected request Xie Lian never thought he'd have to think over and dreads to make comes.

"Could we have two rooms, please?" He pointedly looks away from Hua Cheng, but why would it be a problem? Sure, they've slept together at Puji Shrine, but it's not like there's enough space. Here, they could have it and Xie Lian wouldn't have to think about invading Hua Cheng's space, right? 

(He's making excuses, he knows that. He keeps running away…) 

"Ah, sorry Young Masters. We only have one room available… It's still big enough to accommodate two people comfortably though!" 

"Ah! Then that's perfect! We can use that one. Thank you very much!" He hopes the relief he felt wasn't noticeable in his voice, nor the genuine smile on his face.

He's about to take some of his own savings out of his sleeve when Hua Cheng beats him at it and puts some pieces of silver on the counter, asking politely, "You can keep the change." 

"Ah!" Thank you sir. I'll lead you to your room then." The lady takes the lead and shows them to their room. On their way, Hua Cheng asks her to bring dinner for them, but Xie Lian stops him and says he's not really hungry, so he won't eat tonight. 

Before the lady has shown them their room and is about to go, Hua Cheng asks her to bring breakfast in the morning, mentioning lots of plates Xie Lian likes. 

He does this quietly, with the door almost closed and quietly, as if trying not to let Xie Lian hear, but he is, and it always warms his heart to know how thoughtful Hua Cheng is to him. 

It makes him feel worse about how he's been taking advantage of that kindness.

They quietly move around, getting ready for bed after a bath and changing to clean robes that Hua Cheng made appear.

Their conversations are quiet, too careful, as if anything could shatter whatever it is they're feeling in this small space they have, and when it's time to get to bed, they both hesitate.

It was never this hard, never this scary, to share a small space with Hua Cheng, but suddenly it is, and it pains Xie Lian deeply. 

Hua Cheng, out of respect, won't move until he's sure Xie Lian is comfortable, and Xie Lian, out of fear, doesn't want to cross any more barriers he's already invaded.

When they meet eyes, however, it's as if they can both sense what the other feels, and when Xie Lian lets out a light chuckle, Hua Cheng follows and they both giggle like kids.

Xie Lian decides to be the first one to move, taking the left side and getting comfortable before turning expectantly at Hua Cheng, who takes a moment before he huffs and takes his place on the right. 

They both face to the roof, hands on their chest and not moving. Only the sound of Xie Lian's breathing and the distant chatter of the last few patrons still awake can be heard. 

"Good night, San Lang," He whispers quietly, "See you tomorrow." 

"Goodnight Gege." 

And they fall asleep.

Deep at night, the effects of the bite from the Mountain Spirit start to show, and when Hua Cheng, who can't sleep due to the light fever he's getting from Mount Tonglu's effect, notices how Xie Lian becomes restless in his sleep, his face burning and his hands shaking, he moves to go get the one responsible for this before it’s too late...

"Help me." He stops by the window when he hears Xie Lian say in his sleep, quietly, so quietly yet full of agony.

"It hurts. It hurts, it hurts…"

"Somebody… anybody." 

"Why can't I die?"

It tears Hue Cheng's unbeating heart apart.

He quickly goes back to the bed and holds Xie Lian tightly, hoping his own warm, feverish body won't make him feel uncomfortable, as he caresses his back and quietly replies, "I'm here, Your Highness. I'm here. Don't be afraid."

In the morning.

In the morning, he's going to look for that creature and destroy it. He'll get Xie Lian's memories back. Right now though, his beloved needs him, and he will be there for him, unlike that time many, many years ago.

- Present time -

Xie Lian slowly wakes to the feeling of Hua Cheng’s arms wrapped protectively around him, preventing him from falling to the ground. He slowly opens his eyes and… There he is. Hua Cheng, his beautiful San Lang, back to his original form, still looking younger than normal, but it’s him. No masks, no alternate skins.

Xie Lian smiles at him when their eyes meet, and very quietly calls, “San Lang,”

“Your Highness,” Hua Cheng replies as he looks at him carefully, traces of uncertainty still lingering in his eye, and as soon as Xie Lian sees it, he pulls Hua Cheng from his collar and kisses him deeply, relishing in the feeling of Hua Cheng’s hesitance for only a few seconds, before he kisses him back just as intently. 

“San Lang, I love you!” Xie Lian says as soon as they part to breathe. 

If Xie Lian thought he’d seen all of Hua Cheng at this point, he was wrong, because the look of adoration he gives him, with his eye glowing like it’s full of stars, and the soft smile of disbelief and pure joy that makes his eye crinkle, is one Xie Lian had never seen like this, and once he has, he wants to make sure he gets to see it forever. 

He doesn’t get to admire it for long before Hua Cheng hugs him tightly, his hands shaking lightly on Xie Lian’s back, “Gege, I love you too. So much.”

Xie Lian releases a heavy breath, then starts giggling, his face nuzzling Hua Cheng’s neck as he loops his arms around his beloved’s neck. 

With the Mountain Spirit trapped for good, they both leave its hideout and calmly make their way back to the village, hands held tightly. 

“By the way, San Lang, have you got all your memories back?”

“Not all of them. I’m missing a bunch still, but they should come back eventually. I have the most important ones back, so it doesn’t matter.”

“That’s good to know,” Xie Lian says as he sways their hands back and forth playfully.

It’s only a moment before Hua Cheng says very seriously, “Although there’s one thing I do want to know that I haven’t remembered yet…”

“What is it?” Xie Lian looks at Hua Cheng in alarm, hoping he can help solve Hua Cheng’s concern. The ghost, however, only smirks at him and Xie Lian knows whatever he will say won’t be anything serious.

“I still don’t remember what happened that other night at Qian Deng Temple,” Despite the wicked smile, he still says it like it’s a very important matter. 

“Ah! Hahaha, that… Uh- You don’t have to worry about that, like I said, nothing really important happened…” Despite everything that’s happened and what they’ve learned from each other, it’s still a bit embarrassing to talk about it so casually…

“Oh, but Gege… Even now, do you think I would believe I fought you all night?” 

“Ahaha… Maybe some other day I’ll tell you… AH!” Xie Lian, who had looked for a way to change the topic, remembers something, “San Lang! We left Feng Xin and Mu Qing at Puji Shrine.”

“Good,” Hua Cheng says casually, “Make them wait. Better yet, hope they’ve left already. Nobody invited them anyway.”

“Ah, San Lang…” Xie Lian rubs his forehead but can’t help the fond smile at Hua Cheng’s petulant behavior. 

“We should still go back. I should at least explain what happened, and I still have some things I have to do from Heaven…” When he thinks about everything that’s to come, he sighs, wishing he could spend just a couple more days with Hua Cheng without any pressing matters.

“Don’t worry Gege, whatever you have to do, I’ll be there with you,” Hua Cheng reassures as he squeezes his hand comfortingly. 

Xie Lian smiles at him and leans his head on Hua Cheng’s shoulder, their hands clasped tightly, knowing for sure that he will . After all, Hua Cheng has always been there for him despite everything, so much so that he wouldn’t let him go through the lowest point of his life again on his own.

800 years ago, he thought he wouldn’t have anyone ever stay by his side, and yet Hua Cheng is still here. For the first time, he can believe in a future without loneliness. He can believe in forever.

“Then, let’s go back home!”

༻ FIN ༺