Work Text:
FADE IN:
INT. HALLWAY - NEAR MIDNIGHT
An empty hallway of a penthouse that has a freshly moved-in feel to it despite being perfectly decorated.
There is a distant sound of bickering that sounds more and more scandalous as the voices approach.
Two women in their early thirties enter the scene. One is a redhead with short hair visibly growing out after perhaps some boyish cut of a few months ago, SHIV ROY. She’s sporting muslin short pjs and teary red eyes. And she is majorly pissed.
SHIV (CONT’D)
Only because I knew you couldn’t handle this!
The other woman, ELAINE CALDWELL, stops in her tracks and causes Shiv, who was following her during the argument, to bump into her.
ELAINE
Oh, really? You’re such a manipulator, Shiv. And a coward. Maybe you should’ve agreed to keep it casual when I offered to not rush into anything.
Shiv scoffs at that as Elaine picks up her leather jacket from one of the boxes she tossed it into earlier that night and starts putting it on.
ELAINE
(looking around for the rest of her belongings, immediately sounding less pissed)
I don’t want to be your girlfriend of the week and then be dropped into oblivion, okay? I like you. I do. But you’re clearly not ready for anything serious so please stop making me the villain. Make up your mind on what you want.
SHIV
I have my mind made up. And I think you should leave.
ELAINE
(mockingly, with renewed bite in her voice)
Oh no, she said I had to leave whilst I was putting my boots on! Boo hoo, what ever am I to do now? Lord, have mercy on my soul.
SHIV
(glaring daggers at Elaine but visibly hurt)
You think you’re so funny, huh?
ELAINE
(softens seeing the expression)
I know I am, babe. Have a good night.
Shiv suddenly realises she likes Elaine a bit too much to end things like that.
SHIV
(quietly)
Laine?
Elaine turns her face slightly back to Shiv. She’s too tired to do this now. But it’s Shiv.
ELAINE
(sighing, in a gentle tone she usually uses with pouting kids)
Dinner Friday night as we planned. But I need a breather until then and we will talk about this.
SHIV
(accepting the terms and slightly relaxing)
Sure.
Elaine leaves the penthouse.
CUT TO:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT BUILDING - MIDNIGHT
Elaine exits the building and stops for a moment on the street thinking of what's next.She opens Google maps, finds a night club nearby with not too harrowing a name and calls for a cab. An Uber, she reminds herself.
CUT TO:
INT. DARK LOUD NIGHT CLUB - FIFTEEN PAST MIDNIGHT
Elaine enters the frame, approaching the bar and waving at the bartender.
ELAINE
A marg, please.
(thinking on it)
Actually, make it two margs.
She sits waiting for her drinks when a male voice addresses her. It’s a man in his forties, soon to be a silverfox, nice suit, sad blue eyes, slightly dishevelled. It’s TOM WAMBSGANS but she doesn’t know it yet.
TOM
(with an amicable nod)
Evening, sad eyes.
Elaine turns her face to him with a look of exhaustion. He’s handsome and seems nice enough to safely flirt with but she’s really not in the mood.
TOM
May I pay for your margaritas of desperation? As an offering to a fellow nocturnal loner.
ELAINE
(sceptically watching him, ready to firmly refuse whatever else he might offer)
You may, but I’d have to warn you I’m not into men.
TOM
(chuckling in almost relief, not having intended to hit on the woman in the first place, but rather just feeling lonely and tired, longing for a chat)
Ah, it’s rather befitting. It seems, I’m only attracted to people who cannot reciprocate the sentiment.
Surprised and relieved the guy doesn’t seem to be an arsehole and won’t cause a scene, Elaine decides that a chat with him could be a welcome distraction.
ELAINE
(turning on her bar stool towards the stranger)
Is your offer of a drink still on, then?
TOM
(acts offended, a bit cartoony)
It wouldn’t be too gentlemanly of me to retract it, would it?
Elaine isn’t as comfortable money wise as she once was but she most definitely could indulge herself in as many drinks as her heart or stomach desired and then pay for it herself. But free booze is free booze.
ELAINE
Fair enough. Then I shall accept and offer you- A shoulder to cry on, as a ´fellow nocturnal loner’. Do tell me the song of your woes.
TOM
(amused with her wit, with a vague hand wave)
Are my woes that noticeable? Alright, I’ll entertain you. For one, my-
(he seems to choose the words carefully)
Uh, my ex is now dating women, too. We parted ways for a different reason and still. She could be less loud about it, you know.
ELAINE
That’s why you’re here, drinking alone?
TOM
No, no. That's quite an old story. I’m now in a completely different complicated and scary relationship with someone I like way more than I should.
ELAINE
(with a grin)
Oh, boy.
(belatedly hit with a realisation)
Wait, and you offered me a drink? Not very classy of you.
TOM
(shrugging)
It’s just a drink. And me and- We’re not together.I mean- we may have kissed once or twice while drunk but. As I said, it's complicated.
ELAINE
(more and more drawn into the story)
And scary.
TOM
Scary as fuck.
ELAINE
(thinking back to Shiv)
I know the feeling.
TOM
Is that why you’re here, drinking alone?
ELAINE
Touché. Yes, that’s pretty much it.
My girl doesn't know what she wants. And I just don’t want to be hurt, right. Is that too much to ask?
TOM
(nodding despite Elaine’s words making little sense out of context)
I hear it is. Apparently something about it being the price of finding love and shit.
ELAINE
(with a weak laugh)
Any words of wisdom on dating an indecisive, emotionally elusive goddess of a woman?
TOM
Oh, you don’t know half of it.
(it suddenly dawns on Tom that she might know him from the news)
Or do you?
ELAINE
(momentarily thrown off by his weird look but quickly recovered)
Well, I am seeing a gal just like that, but as for knowing? Maybe not exactly a half, more like a one twelfth? Of it.Whatever it is.
TOM
(relaxed again, back to his safe waters aka talking nonsense)
Sorry. Had to make sure you’re not a corporate spy.You seem a decent fellow and I’d hate to kill you.
ELAINE
(without missing a beat)
Thank God, I’d hate to die.
Both chuckle in recognition.
TOM
(overcoming himself)
Tell me about this goddess of yours and we’ll see if I can be of any help.
ELAINE
(breathing in, mentally preparing to put Shiv Roy in two sentences)
Alright. She’s American, local, funny and witty as fuck, drop dead gorgeous. My mum’s frenemy’s daughter. Never actually met her before recently.I just moved to the States last month after Mum passed away and-
TOM
My condolences.
ELAINE
(weirdly touched by this rather standard response,opening up more and more)
Thank you. Anyway, I come to New York and it turns out I don’t know that many people here. Ludicrous really, that’s why you don’t move overseas on a whim. So I call the only person I know, this girl’s mother, and she hooks us up for a dinner. We immediately hit it off, she helps me out with finding the right people and such and the next thing you know she stays the night at my new place.
TOM
So far so good.
ELAINE
That’s always how it starts, though, isn’t it? I told her we don’t have to put a label on it and I know she’s been through some rough shit recently, with her family and- Sorry, it’s quite personal.
TOM
Sure.
ELAINE
So I say let’s take it easy if you’re not ready. But no, everything is top notch, she says to me. And now I’m suddenly the villain for pressuring her into things? And apparently I create an unbearably sweet environment so that she feels bad about herself? What the fuck.
TOM
(with a sigh)
I see.
ELAINE
(throwing hands in the air, giving up the explanation)
It’s just hard when she doesn’t even know what she wants exactly.
TOM
I think maybe she does know. But she’s afraid or thinks it’s not gonna happen. And then she just settles for misery, because that’s what she knows, that’s what she understands. No matter what you do she just- fights it.
ELAINE
God, yes? Like an animal biting your hand when you try to save it out of the trap it got itself into.
TOM
(with darkening eyes and a newly found bitterness to his tone)
Well. Maybe she needs to save herself first, right? Maybe- Anyway, I’m not too good of an advisor. In the end I still left my wife. It wasn’t working no matter what I tried.
ELAINE
Fuck, you were married? I’m sorry.
TOM
(lazily raising an eyebrow at this)
For what? We were an ill fit,I should’ve known from the start, really. Never fall for your boss’s daughter. Hard to tell where love ends and career opportunities begin.
ELAINE
No shit.
TOM
Another word of wisdom for you, don’t settle for misery. Even if she’s ready to settle for it, don’t.
ELAINE
And how do I know-
TOM
(speaking to himself more than to Elaine now)
You don’t. But once you do, don't hesitate. Otherwise it’s gonna end up ugly.
(beat)
And in general, be careful. It’s fucking sad out there.
Out there, where? Elaine thinks.
ELAINE
Shit. You’re kinda depressed, aren’t you? I know I’ve just said I don’t wanna get hurt but. There’s still some hope sometimes, you know.One divorce isn’t the end of the world.
(thinking on it for a second)
It’s only one divorce, isn’t it?
TOM
(with a grim laugh)
Yet.
ELAINE
Hey. Just because your marriage ended up poorly, doesn’t mean this new thing of yours will be the same.You say it’s scary but why exactly? Tell me more.
TOM
(nothing to lose, decides to spill his guts to this girl)
Well. Where do I start? There’s the work thing. Boss-employee relationship is not ideal. And we have a- A rather conservative environment at the office.
ELAINE
(nodding, fishing for more)
Uh huh.
TOM
Then, family history, of course. It’s my ex’s cousin, kind of.
ELAINE
(excited for the goss a bit too much and failing to keep the sympathetic front)
Holy fucking spirit! Your ex-wife’s cousin??
TOM
Something removed but yes. Very inconvenient. And finally, I don’t even know if the- feeling? If the feeling is mutual.
ELAINE
Well, what’s with the make out sessions?
TOM
Drunk and never talked about.
ELAINE
Well, maybe that’s it, maybe just talk it out? What do you have to lose?
TOM
(casually)
Not much, just my broken heart gummed back together with shit and spit. And my best friend. The only person who ever was by my side.
ELAINE
(pausing, searching for something in the guy’s expression)
I hate to say it but I’m impressed. Not many men speak like that of women.
TOM
(sullenly staring at his hands)
Don’t be. That’s another scary part. He’s not a woman.
Ding ding dign, bingo. This is the coolest talk with a stranger Elaine has ever had. Reddit has nothing on this guy. Well. Perhaps Reddit does but it’s still insane.
ELAINE
Oh. And? You don’t know if he’s into men? Again, you said you’ve kissed, so he should be on some level. Or-?? Oh god, have you ever?-
TOM
(interrupting her)
No. Yes, but no.
(slightly embarassed)
Not really.
ELAINE
(dumbfounded in the way only a lesbian discovering existence of a somewhat gay man could be)
Shoot. Conservative workplace makes more sense now.
TOM
Uh huh. Tough luck.
ELAINE
Okay, I have to agree about the work stuff looking unfortunate but. Fuck corporate, right? Unless, of course, you really love it…
TOM
It’s the only thing I know.
I dedicated my whole life to it.
ELAINE
Well… Fuck corporate policies then? How high of a boss are you? Assuming you’re the boss.
TOM
That I am. Pretty high.
ELAINE
Invincible level?
TOM
Afraid not.
ELAINE
Still. Companies today love to cater to us gays, especially in June, right?
(Tom fails a coherent answer and she explains, a bit displeased with him)
Pride month.
TOM
Ah, that. It’s March now, though.And I think we both know how real that ‘love’ is.
ELAINE
Lord, you’re a spoilsport. I’m helping you out here. Out out.
TOM
(unimpressed with the pun but still sufficiently shamed)
Pardon my manners. I’m a bit of a pessimist lately.
ELAINE
I could tell. So. The office thing is basically solved.
(preventing Tom from interrupting)
Solved, I say. Now the family shit. You said you've married into the work family?
TOM
It’s- Not the case anymore. Another company now.
(it’s only half a lie)
ELAINE
Great. So fuck the family too.
TOM
I see that’s quite a universal approach. Anyway, it’s not up to me, is it?
ELAINE
Why, yes, the fuck it approach does come in handy every so often And correct me if I’m wrong but you said the guy is something removed. You think he won’t go against the family?
TOM
(thinking of the said family)
Yes and no. He could, I guess.
ELAINE
AH huh!
(with a magical wave of hands)
And just like that… The family shit - solved!
TOM
You’re way too optimistic for New York. Perhaps it will beat the joy out of you, too.
ELAINE
New York will have to deal, I’m afraid. And I wouldn’t say London is particularly joyous either.
(thinking about the guy’s words some more)
You’re not from New York yourself, are you?
TOM
(shakes his head)
St.Paul, Minnesota. Midwest, not too progressive but still a good place.
ELAINE
You ever miss it?
TOM
All the fucking time.
(pause)
And yet I hate the man I was there. Maybe even more than I hate the man I am here.
ELAINE
(reaching for his glass of scotch)
Okay, you should probably stop drinking. I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow morning to the news of a white maybe bi guy of forty found in the river, presumed suicide.
TOM
(a bit struck by the imagery)
It’s rather unbecoming, drowning. Don’t you think?
Elaine looks at him, less amused than before. Tom clears his throat and puts on a more cheerful expression.
TOM
It’s fine. I’ve got a dog at home waiting for me. Would never do that to my pup. Just in case you're seriously worried.
ELAINE
You’re a sad alcoholic, you know? Never try substances.
Tom laughs and gives her a look. She shakes her head not too pleased with it.
TOM
Sorry for killing the mood. Let me redeem myself.
(he hums in thought for a second)
You said you don’t know that many people here. Well, you can add me to that circle of yours now. I’m fairly useless in the most youth related areas of life but still, give a call if in dire need.
(he hands her a card)
It’s my work number but that’ll do. And this goddess of yours aside, invest in some friends. Actually- Well, maybe not.
ELAINE
(pocketing the card without really looking at it, way more pleased with this new mood)
Yes?
TOM
Not that it’s important now but. I think, divorce and the mutual gutting aside
- me and my goddess could’ve been good friends, you know? So if you two don’t work out romantically, perhaps don’t drag the dead horse around, yeah?
ELAINE
(understanding his meaning)
Yeah.
TOM
Maybe you could become friends for life.
Touched by the advice and sincerity in the man’s face Elaine surges to hug him. He briefly freezes but reciprocates soon enough and they stand like that until it becomes too awkward for both of them.
ELAINE
I’m Elaine, by the way. And you?
TOM
Tom. Nice to meet you, Elaine. And maybe let’s call it a night, right.
ELAINE
Sure. I think it’s enough of eye opening confessions and advice for one night. Thank you.
TOM
You’re good to go home on your own? I could give you a ride. Well, not me, my driver.
ELAINE
Thanks, but no thanks. I wanted to walk for a bit, maybe to think on what you’ve said.
TOM
(both genuine and sarcastic at the same time)
Ah, I see. That’s wise. Not really, considering the creeps and creatures of the night, but I’m sure you can handle it.
ELAINE
(not offended even if she should be)
I can stand my ground. Don’t stay too late.
After another quick hug and a peck on the cheek Elaine leaves Tom be.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BACK EXIT OF THE CLUB - JUST PAST ONE
Elaine finds herself once again standing out in the cold not sure where to head. Home, of course. But first a fag. She lights a cigarette and upon reflection takes out Tom’s card to check his credibility. She inhales the smoke and reads the words
Waystar GoJo
Tom Wambsgans
CEO
With a vile cough she has to fight for air while her brain tries to wrap itself around this crucial piece of information. Tom Wambsgans, Tom, the Tom, ‘my traitor of a husband Tom’. Tom.
What’s next? The spirit of Logan Roy comes to her for a hearty one on one? Insane.
And what is she to do with this? Finally she laughs, still tipsy and warm inside, and decides it’s not that big of a deal. She will dissect this serendipitous run-in tomorrow, after a good old fashioned night of sleep. Ordering an Uber - any and all ideas of walking now dropped - she’s out of the shot.
CUT BACK TO:
INT. THE SAME CLUB, THE SAME BAR
A few minutes have passed by since Elaine left. Tom is looking at his phone with a nervous flutter somewhere in his chest. Maybe Elaine’s right and there is always some hope left. Or maybe he’s gonna end up royally fucked.
What he’s sure of, though, is that he will have to face it sooner or later. If he tries to keep the charade any longer, he suspects he might explode with something and God knows he'd prefer this something to be his innards rather than a yet another crazy ass monologue stuffed with innuendoes and delusions of grandeur. Telling a stranger about this borderline falling in love thing is a sure sign that he is at the end of his rope.
He shakes off any fear or doubt in preparation for the call. At this point he’s not too drunk but drunk just enough to have the courage to press the call button. The phone starts calling and Tom puts it to his ear, the loud music fading out, yielding to the terrifying beeps.
The beeps stop soon enough and with some background fumbling, probably from trying to sit up in bed, a male high pitched voice belonging to GREG HIRSCH answers.
GREG (OFF SCREEN)
Uh, Tom?
Tom, words stuck in his throat, freezes upon hearing Greg’s sleepy voice, warm and coloured with surprise and mild worry.
GREG (O.S.)
Tom? Tom, we've talked about these calls. I need you to like. State the level of concern. On the scale from one to ten.
TOM
(huffing out at this, affectionate, no bite)
Greg. Minus two on your stupid scale. Six or seven on the friendly we need to talk scale.
CUT TO:
INT. GREG’S APARTMENT
A dark silhouette of Greg sitting in his bed, side of his face lit dimly by the light from the screen of his phone, listening intently.
TOM (CONT’D, O.S.)
Actually maybe eight or nine, although I’m a bit drunk to be an objective judge of that.
GREG
(dropping the phone at the surge of adrenalin)
Finally. Fuck.
(fishing out the phone from the mess of sheets and comforter, recollecting himself)
So, a nine, huh. Well, I- How drunk, though? And is that music I uh, I hear? Are you clubbing? Are you alone?
CUT BACK TO:
INT. THE SAME CLUB, THE SAME BAR
Tom's eyebrows rise a little. He is caught off guard with Greg’s muffled but still very distinctive ‘Finally. Fuck.’ and it takes him a moment to process the string of questions and come up with answers to them.
TOM
Uh? I’m alone, at Henton, planning to walk back home by foot, so. Not that drunk.
GREG (O.S.)
(after munching on that for a second)
Okay. Have a glass of water before you leave, but yeah, okay. Your place or mine?
Greg sounds more awake with every passing second while Tom is on the contrary losing the thread.
TOM
What?
GREG (O.S.)
(paying it half mind, the sounds of distant shuffling through things in the background)
You wanted to talk. And like, not to be dramatic, but eight or nine sounds urgent. At your place or mine?
Tom hasn’t thought that far ahead. Not that he planned on talking over the phone but Greg is as always three steps ahead when it comes to strategizing most casual things. Not that this is something casual, of course, not for Tom anyway.
GREG (O.S.)
(sensing the hesitation on the other end of the line and taking the matter in his own hands)
Yours, then.
He chooses Tom’s both because Tom seems to be at a place nearby his new apartment and because this way he will have nowhere to flee should the talk take the route Greg imagines it might take. Like a dog thrown a bone he won’t let go of this opportunity.
GREG (O.S.)
I’ll be there in thirty. Ish. You?
TOM
(blinking wildly at his own reflection across the bar)
Twenty, I think.
GREG (O.S.)
Great.
(he nearly ends the call but)
Remember the water! Sober up as much as you can, okay? If it’s really a six-seven-eight-possibly-nine talk.
TOM
Okay. See you in thirty.
Tom ends the call and breathes out. He has a funny feeling Greg knows exactly what they are going to talk about. And to Tom’s ears he sounded cautiously excited.
TOM
(to the bartender, with his heart in his throat)
A glass of water, please. I’ve got a good feeling about this.
The bartender gives Tom a dubious look but Tom couldn’t care less.
FADE OUT. THE END.