Work Text:
Eddie is going on dates with Kim. They talk a lot. In a restaurant, in a park, long walks by the beach at night. She is not Shannon but he feels like he's with her. She doesn't finish his sentences, she just knows what he is going to say before he says it. She knows him. He can trust her.
At some point Eddie invites Kim to his place. There are pictures of him and Shannon there, but he didn't hide them, didn't cover them. Kim doesn't pay attention to any of them, and Eddie doesn't notice this. Because it's somehow natural. He can trust her. She knows even though he never mentioned Shannon.
It's natural, it feels right, she's where she's supposed to be... by his side... alive...
She is sitting by the table, Eddie walks to the kitchen to make her coffee and there is Shannon, reminding him how to make her favourite coffee. They laugh because of course he remembers. He gets back to the living room and Shannon is there too. She has blonde hair but it still feels natural. And there somewhere in the background Eddie sees a christmas tree and Shannon is there, a bit younger with bright blonde hair... That's strange, but he's too happy to care... The one sitting next to him talks about Chris... Did he mention Chris to her? But she's Shannon, her hair now dark, matching the color of the coffee... She starts the sentence, the other Shannon finishes it. Their outfits are now the same, their hair color changes every time he changes the one he's focusing on. But it's ok, they just need to catch up... it will all make sense in a moment...
...because they know him, they know everything about him, he doesn't have to say anything, they talk to him... She's finally talking to him... her voice is clear and loud, not like in his dreams... it's real... wherever he looks Shannon is right in front of him... real, alive, almost in his reach...
Time is passing, they talk, they laugh, they argue... he said the wrong thing again, she's disappointed, she's mad, she's sad, she's hurt... every single of her emotions is talking to him at once... and all of them are saying it's his fault...
He needs to move but his legs won't listen. He loses his ground, falling, drowning... he's on the floor, scrambling away as Shannon after Shannon merges above him in one image that is glitching and blurring... and every time he says he's sorry her shape becomes sharp... and every time he admits to a failure her voice became clear... and he just wants to see her and hear her... because she's here... by his side... he can trust her...
Few hours later Buck finds Eddie sitting in the corner of the room, tugging his own hair, staring at the empty space in front of him. His mouth is moving but Buck needs to come closer to hear faint raspy "sorry","fault" and "Shannon". He kneels in front of Eddie, he wants to break this damn matra but he's afraid to touch him.
He speaks with a gentle voice "Eddie? Eddie it's me... can you look at me? Eddie please, just look at me..."
The shape is glitching again, the voice is disturbed by distant yet familiar sound. He trusts her, but he can't trust himself anymore. Eddie begs her to not leave him, he cries for her. His voice doesn't sound like his anymore. He's saying she's dead, she's not real. Why would he say that when he can feel the warmth of her skin around his wrist... when he can feel...
Buck's heart sinks when he hears Eddie's howling pleas.
"Eddie... Shannon is dead, she's not here... it's not real... Eddie please..."
Buck grabs him by the wrist and pulls Eddie's hand to his chest. "This is real. This..." He unbuttons his shirt so Eddie can feel his heartbeat "Can you feel this? This is real. Eddie!" Buck places a hand on the side of Eddie's face "Eddie please... snap out of it... just... just look at me... come back..."
He can feel the warmth under his palm. For a moment, a minutes or seconds, there is nothing more... but then he feels it... a heartbeat... He knows this heart, he trusts it...
The shape of Shannon melts into dark blonde hair. The blue eyes are looking at him. He trusts those eyes.
"Buck?"