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It's been six months that they’re together and nothing has happened yet. They touch each other almost all the time: the hugs, the light touches on their backs, the hand in their hair, the mindless designs being drawn on each other’s arms, etc. Atsumu actually revels in those moments. He never thought Kiyoomi would be a tactile person and he prepared himself for it, he told himself several times that he needed to not be too much, too tactile with him, because he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and also because he really, really, likes him. He may even be in love, even though he hasn't voiced it yet.
They also sleep in the same bed most nights, one of them resting his head on the other’s chest and their legs entangled.
Hell they even took a shower together once, they were late and so they jumped in together. Atsumu was flabbergasted when he heard Kiyoomi telling him that he was done with his shower and that the other just stepped out. He stepped out to dry himself, he didn’t even truly glance at Atsumu's body. Atsumu knows he is good-looking, and all his previous partners have had that look in their eyes when he was naked. Kiyoomi didn’t have that look at all. His cheeks were slightly pink, but there wasn’t any lust or desire in his gaze.
He didn’t talk about it because he didn’t know what to say. After all, he also doesn’t have that lust or desire in him when he sees Kiyoomi’s naked body. The only thing he knows is that Kiyoomi is good-looking too. That was three months ago, and nothing has changed since. Nothing more than very occasional kisses involving their tongues has happened.
And quite frankly, that doesn’t disturb Atsumu at all. He didn’t expect it, hence why he is utterly confused, but saying that he is disappointed would be the biggest lie of his life. To be honest, he has never felt more appeased, happy, cared for — dare he say, loved — than in this relationship with Kiyoomi.
But, he thought sex was something couples needed in order to last? He never really experienced any of those feelings of desire and want that most people describe; but he never really felt disgusted by the idea of sex either. So he usually just tuned in with his partners when they expressed their own desire towards him. They all have been nice and understanding with him and he truly appreciated that.
When he first realized he didn’t feel the same way others do, he freaked out. But then he met really nice people and he felt more at ease. He knew they didn’t have sex as much as other couples could have, but his partners still seemed okay with that.
That issue doesn't even exist in his current relationship because Kiyoomi hasn’t even tried anything, ever.
Does he not want Atsumu? Or has he perhaps realized that Atsumu doesn’t want him? Not in that way at least. Has he realized that Atsumu can’t feel that?
Is he being respectful? Or does he not see himself with Atsumu in the long-term?
All those questions keep plaguing Atsumu's mind and he knows he has to voice them to Kiyoomi, because it’s probably something they need to talk about. Especially considering the fact that Atsumu is probably (surely) in love with him, that would be quite embarrassing if it turns out that Kiyoomi is committed to their relationship.
It’s Friday night and they’re snuggling on the couch while watching a movie. Atsumu is drawing small patterns on Kiyoomi’s thigh, and Kiyoomi is caressing his hair gently. They’re comfortable. Atsumu thinks now is a good time to talk.
“Omi?”
“Hm?”
“How much time do ya think couples usually wait before havin’ sex?”
The hand in his hair stills, and he immediately feels Kiyoomi’s body tense against his side.
Oh no. Has he done or said something wrong?
Kiyoomi lets go of him and he starts to distance himself in order to sit straighter. He faces Atsumu and locks eyes with him, there’s an unexpected seriousness in his gaze that makes Atsumu's stomach drop and he unconsciously sits straighter as well.
Oh he definitely said something wrong.
“Do you… Um—” Kiyoomi frowns. The look on his face is one Atsumu has never seen, there seems to be a slight blush on his cheeks, but at the same time his whole face is abnormally pale. He sounds unsure, almost scared, when he continues. “Do you want to have sex?”
And that’s the thing. No, Atsumu doesn't want to. But he can, if Kiyoomi does. But isn’t it rude to say that he doesn’t want Kiyoomi? Kiyoomi has always preferred honesty though.
“Um… Not really.” He's afraid to look at Kiyoomi but forces himself to, and he’s surprised to see the other’s shoulders immediately relax. And then Kiyoomi, honest-to-god, sighs in relief.
Huh?
He doesn’t understand what that reaction means and so starts to panic. “But I can still do it!” He exclaims. “I mean— We can still have sex if you want to. I have had sex in the past!” He blurts out so fast that he isn’t sure if Kiyoomi understood a single word.
“What if—” Kiyoomi clears his throat awkwardly and Atsumu notices how he’s playing with his fingers; a sign that he’s anxious. Atsumu frowns. “What if I don't… want to?” He raises his head to look at Atsumu and he looks scared. “Like ever,” he adds.
Atsumu tilts his head in confusion. “What do ya mean by that?”
He thinks he’s starting to understand, and he feels really dumb because of course he isn’t the only asexual person on the planet. But he still prefers to ask, to let Kiyoomi explain himself so that Atsumu can fully understand him and how he feels.
Still, he kind of wants to laugh wholeheartedly at the fact that he found himself a partner who may be just like him. What was the probability huh? He stops himself though, because right now isn’t the time.
“I– Um. I don't like sex.” Kiyoomi blurts out. “Well, I have never done it. But I don’t want to. I know I wouldn't like it.”
Atsumu smiles at him softly. He just nods to let him know that he’s listening and that he can continue.
Kiyoomi still looks nervous, but Atsumu's reaction seems to ease him a bit.
“I'm asexual.” He states as he locks eyes with Atsumu, “and sex averse.”
Atsumu's smile hasn’t dropped once ever since Kiyoomi started talking. “Thanks for telling me, Omi.”
Kiyoomi’s shoulders immediately relax and Atsumu sees tears starting to gather in his eyes. He panics.
“Omi baby, why are you crying?! Did I do or say something wrong? I'm so sorry, please stop crying.”
Kiyoomi lets out a wet laugh. “You didn’t, Atsu. Not at all. Those are happy tears. I'm happy.”
“Oh.” Atsumu breathes out eloquently as he just stares at his boyfriend who looks absolutely beautiful. “I'm asexual too, Omi.” He gives Kiyoomi his best loving smile, hoping that the other can catch its meaning.
Kiyoomi’s eyes widened at his admission. “I love you.” He immediately brings a hand to his mouth once he registers what he just said.
Atsumu feels his face burning.
“I– I'm sorry. I'm just so relieved that you still want to be with me that I didn't think before I talked.” Kiyoomi starts rambling. “Obviously you don’t have to say it back!”
Atsumu just smiles, looking fondly at his lover who looks very cute when he’s blushing. “I love ya too, Omi.”
Kiyoomi completely stills. “You– You do?” He whispers, unsure.
“Heck yeah I do!” Atsumu surges forward to grab Kiyoomi’s shoulders before engulfing him in a tight hug.
Kiyoomi immediately tightens his grip onto Atsumu's middle and sighs happily. “I was so scared.” He admits, voice so low that Atsumu almost didn’t catch it.
“I'm sorry, Omi. We should have talked about that long ago.” Atsumu chuckles.
Kiyoomi chuckles in turn. “Yeah, we should have.”
“But all is well now!” He exclaims. “We should go back to the movie.”
They let go of each other in order to find back their initial position. And once they’re snuggling, Atsumu pressed against Kiyoomi’s side, they both smile happily.
That night, when they go to bed, they talk a bit more. Atsumu asks everything Kiyoomi is comfortable doing, and Kiyoomi does the same. Seeing how they’re both invested in this relationship makes Atsumu's stomach do some flips, butterflies feeling and all.
Once Atsumu's head is pressed on Kiyoomi’s heart and that their legs are entangled, Kiyoomi whispers about how he’ll make sure Atsumu knows how much he cares for him.
And he does. Because Atsumu has never felt more loved.