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Growing up, Kenma always felt different from his friends. It quickly became even more obvious when he joined high school; the time when teenagers were supposed to have their first experiences.
Kenma didn't really feel the need to date anyone. But his friends didn't think the same.
So Kenma would listen to them talk about their crushes and first kisses. They would tell Kenma how amazing it is and that he'll understand when he'll get his.
But the thing is, Kenma didn't even want to have his first kiss. He wanted to have it just to say that he had it, and that everyone around him would stop talking about the big deal that is one's first kiss.
But he didn't want it in the way his friends seemed to. He wanted it to get it out of the way, there wasn't any desire behind it.
Eventually, Kenma had his first kiss.
A cute boy asked him out after one of his classes and Kenma said yes. They went to the park and chatted a bit, and at the end of the date, the boy kissed him.
It felt like a cold shower. Kenma gasped and the boy retrieved his head. He took Kenma's expression for the shock of his first kiss and didn't question it. The boy left a minute later, going back to his home.
Kenma stood there for an hour. He couldn't move. He thought of all his friends talking about kissing, about how good it felt, about how Kenma would understand when he'll get his.
Well, Kenma did get his. And he felt sick.
He's pretty sure this wasn't how it was supposed to feel. But he also didn't understand why he felt this way when apparently everyone else didn't.
He didn't talk about it. He went back to school the next day and robotically replied to his friends when they asked about how his date went. He told them about the kiss in hope that they'd finally stop talking about it.
It worked. Kenma lied and told them he liked it.
And an hour later, he refused the boy's confession. He invented an excuse, not wanting to tell him that his kiss made him sick. The boy visibly was sad about it, but he accepted Kenma's refusal and moved on.
Kenma didn't move on, though.
He couldn't stop thinking about that kiss he hated. Why did he hate it? He thought that when he figured out he was gay, he had figured out everything.
So, he should have liked kissing a boy. Why didn't he?
It took him a few additional years, but then Kenma got to terms with the fact that, yes, he was gay; but he was also on the asexual spectrum. It felt good.
Kenma didn't want to subject anyone to no kisses, so he made peace with never having a partner. It was fine. He didn't really care about romantic relationships that much in the first place.
As long as he had his best friend, Kuroo, with him, Kenma didn't need anyone else.
Kuroo was the first person Kenma confided in. He's the first person Kenma came out to, and Kuroo has never been anything but supportive.
Except then, Kenma started to notice some changes in how he felt towards the other man. Kenma knew that the way he felt about Kuroo was different from the other people, but he innocently put it on the account of Kuroo being his best friend.
Except, during his last year of high school while Kuroo had already left for college, Kenma experienced desire for the first time ever. At first, he hadn't even been able to pinpoint it — it took him an embarrassingly long time to do so, if he was being honest with himself.
Especially considering the fact that it seemed to be… periodical? He didn't really understand how he was feeling.
Sometimes he saw Kuroo and he felt this intense urge to kiss him. And other times, even just thinking of kissing Kuroo made his stomach hurt.
So Kenma spent hours and days, hell, even weeks, thinking this over. How could he tell Kuroo how he felt when his feelings were so… s cattered?
Except, well, at one point he didn't have a choice but to face those feelings anymore. Because during one of Kuroo's visits back to their high school, Kuroo confessed to him.
Kenma's eyes widened in shock at the revelation. His cheeks felt hot and his stomach erupted in a thousand butterflies. He couldn't help but smile.
"Um. I know you're asexual so I don't expect anything from you, Kenma." Kuroo said reassuringly. "I just wanted to let you know." He smiled.
Kenma felt his insides melt at the gentle tone of his closest friend. He wanted to kiss him, but his doubts were slowing him down.
Kenma bit at his bottom lip, trying to figure out what to reply that could convey how he felt. "I– I think I like you too," He muttered softly.
Kuroo's eyebrows shot up all the way to his hairline. "You do?" He breathed out, unable to control his hopeful tone.
Kenma bit his lip again and nodded shyly. "Um.. Sometimes I want to kiss you, but sometimes I don't."
Kuroo tilted his head to the side and nodded softly, his smile not faltering, a sign for Kenma to continue.
"Sometimes kisses make me feel sick. And don't even get me started on anything more than that."
Kuroo's face turned scarlet at the implication. He cleared his throat sheepishly and Kenma chuckled softly at the cute sight.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Kenma. I just want to be with you."
Kenma blushes at the direct declaration, his knees wobbling a bit.
He felt overwhelmingly happy but still, he couldn't help but voice his most prominent fear. "Won't you hate me, though? For not giving you what other people give when they're in relationships?"
Kuroo frowned, clearly displeased by what Kenma just said. "I could never hate you."
Kenma nodded softly, still not completely sure because… how could Kuroo know how he would feel in the future? What if he's okay with it now, but then not anymore?
Kuroo, as always, seemed to read his thoughts. He put his hands on each of Kenma's shoulders so that the shorter man would look at him.
"Kenma. I've been in love with you for four years now." Kenma's eyes widened and his cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. "Have I ever tried anything with you?"
Kenma frowned for a second, "No?"
Kuroo nodded, "Because I didn't want to. I felt happy simply being in your presence. I don't care if we don't kiss."
Kenma tilted his head to the side in confusion. "What made you confess now, then?" He asked quietly.
Kuroo hummed, "I think I just wanted to try my luck. I've been missing you ever since I left for college. So I felt like maybe, if I got to officially call you my boyfriend, then I knew I would always have you."
Kuroo was a blushing mess in front of him and Kenma loved the sight. "You'll always have me, Kuro."
Kuroo's eyes widened for a second before he controlled his expression. "Is that a yes?"
Kenma smirked a bit, "You didn't even ask a question."
Kuroo spluttered and Kenma giggled. "Would you like to be my boyfriend, Kenma?"
Kenma blushed profusely as he nodded. "Yeah," He muttered.
Kuroo's grin in reply was so blinding that it could rival the sun itself. Kenma felt incapable of resisting smiling back.
"I have an idea!" Kuroo exclaimed suddenly.
"Mh?"
"What if, every time we see each other, I ask you if it's okay to kiss? That way, you'll be in charge and I will never make you feel sick."
Kenma's eyes widened and then he felt them water. Kuroo started to panic, apologizing for the terrible idea while all Kenma could think was how dumb he was for ever having doubted Kuroo a single second.
Not knowing how to voice any of the overwhelming emotions he was currently feeling, Kenma softly grabbed Kuroo's sleeve to make him look at him.
"It's okay to kiss now," Kenma said sheepishly.
Kuroo gasped, "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Kenma nodded softly.
Then, Kuroo lowered his head until it reached Kenma's face. He stopped right in front of him, still giving Kenma the chance to pull back. but Kenma didn't want to pull back.
Kenma shut his eyes closed and leaned in to press his lips against Kuroo's. He fully expected to feel cold as ice, just like for his first kiss, three years ago. But instead all he felt was warmth. Kuroo was warm.
They kept the kiss chaste and they both grinned like lovesick fools when they parted.
Kuroo wordlessly opened his arms and Kenma didn't need to be told anything, he surged forward and linked his hand behind Kuroo's back. The taller man closes his arms around him in turn and they both sigh happily in the embrace. Kuroo rested his head on top of Kenma's and Kenma smiled against Kuroo's chest.
In the end, Kenma had nothing to worry about. Because even years later, when they were living together and Kuroo was coming back from work, he still asked Kenma that same "Kiss?" question.
And no matter what Kenma's reply would be, Kuroo has never once not respected his wishes nor made Kenma feel bad about them.
They loved each other and what they built together. That was all that mattered.