Chapter Text
“And that’s it for The Case of the Eerie Estate,” Edwin said as he moved the case to the “solved” area. He turned to smile at Charles. “Now I believe it is time for some much-needed recreation. There’s a book I’ve been dying to read.” He paused and frowned at the turn of phrase. “Well, which I have been quite looking forward to reading.” Edwin went to the bookcase and took down a huge, dusty leatherbound tome.
Charles chuckled. “Just a bit of light reading, yeah?”
“I don’t poke fun at your hobbies, Charles.” Edwin’s tone was scolding, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face.
“You do, a bit.” Charles thought of the disbelieving expression on Edwin’s face every time Charles expressed interest in watching the cricket.
“Perhaps a bit,” Edwin allowed. “If there’s something else you’d like to do, I can–”
“No, no, mate, it’s alright. You read your book. I’ll find something to do.”
Edwin gave Charles a final smile before looking back at his book. Charles watched him. He admired the look of intense concentration on Edwin’s face. Edwin was clever in a way that Charles never could be, but it didn’t bother him. It just made him feel that the two of them were an ideal team, with their different strengths complementing each other perfectly. The wrinkle of a frown appeared between Edwin’s eyebrows as he read on, and Charles had the urge to smooth it away. Edwin deserved to relax, really relax, let go of some of that tension he’d been holding for over a hundred years. He’d loosened up a bit recently, opened up to Charles about some things that had surely been eating at him for ages, but since they’d returned to London it seemed like he’d taken a step back. Charles wished he could help, but feared he could only make it worse.
Impulsively, Charles spoke. “Can I ask you a question?”
“As you just have, it seems you can.” Edwin didn’t look up from his book, but he had a quietly smug expression.
“I wanted to ask you about what you told me when we were escaping hell.” Charles had thought about it a lot since then. Had thought about it more than anything else, really. It had driven him to distraction more than once during their recent case.
“Oh.” Edwin did look up from his book now, his expression grave.
“Did you–” Charles cleared his throat. Now that he’d started, he wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to ask. “Was it just because of hell and everything? Was it just the stress making you say it?”
Edwin hesitated, studying Charles’s face. “Would it be better if it were?” he asked softly.
“No,” Charles said quickly. Now that he knew how Edwin felt, he felt a bit sick at the thought that Edwin could have changed his mind. “I just meant, why then? Did you just start feeling it at that exact moment?”
Edwin shook his head, lips pressed together tightly. “I suppose I’ve felt it for some time. I just hadn’t quite identified the feelings, nor did I know what to do with them.”
Charles related. He wasn’t in love with Edwin in that way, but his feelings for him were much more complicated than anything he’d felt for a friend before. He couldn’t compare it to how he’d felt about any friend, or any girl he’d liked, or any family member. Edwin was just…Edwin. He wanted, needed, to stay with Edwin forever. They were two halves of a whole, a part of each other in a way that Charles couldn’t imagine ever feeling about anyone else. No, he wasn’t in love with him, but he still loved him more than he’d loved anyone when he was alive. When he tried to think about it, the feelings twisted into shapes he couldn’t identify.
“So how did you know?” Charles asked. “How did you figure it out?” He felt bad for pushing, felt like he should leave Edwin alone and not force him to talk about it, but he needed to hear it. If he could just understand how, exactly , Edwin could tell that his feelings for Charles were more than friendship… he didn’t know. Charles had no idea what he was planning to do with the information, but it felt important.
Edwin sighed. Charles tried to catch his eye, to somehow reassure him, but Edwin avoided eye contact as he spoke. “I think I mostly had to- to move past some things. It wasn’t talked about, in my time. Or if it was, only with cruelty. It was illegal, and immoral, and I hated myself for it. I’m not sure how it was in your time, for boys like– like me.”
“Better, I think,” Charles said. He’d seen the way boys were bullied for it, and the way teachers ignored it. He’d seen the AIDS crisis and Section 28. But he’d also seen celebrities like Boy George and Elton John, and people who fought for gay rights. “Still hard, but not illegal, and there were some people who were open about it. Loads better now, though.”
“Yes,” Edwin said. “I can see that it is. All that stuff with Monty and the Cat King put things in perspective, and I just didn’t want to hide it anymore. I didn’t want to be ashamed anymore.”
“You got nothing to be ashamed of, mate.” Charles smiled at Edwin and squeezed his shoulder. “I’m glad you told me. I– wait, what’s this about the Cat King?”
Edwin opened his mouth, but no sound came out for a moment. He closed it again, forced his face into a composed expression, and spoke. “What about the Cat King?”
“You said all that stuff with Monty and the Cat King . Edwin, did something happen between you and the Cat King?” Charles had suspected as much, and hadn’t quite believed Edwin’s reassurances to the contrary.
“No,” Edwin said, unconvincingly. “Of course not.”
Charles crossed his arms and stared at Edwin.
“Alright, fine! He was interesting– interested . He was interested in me, but I– Well, I chose to count the cats, did I not?”
“What do you mean you chose to count them? Didn’t you have to do it to get the bracelet off?”
Edwin stared, red-faced and unblinking, for a long moment. “I didn’t want to tell you, because…of…” he left the sentence unfinished, either unwilling or unable to articulate the reason. “But counting the cats was only one of two options for how to get the bracelet off.”
Charles seethed. “That pervy bastard.”
“No, he wasn’t going to force me into anything,” Edwin protested. “He gave me a choice.”
Charles fiercely wished that Edwin had come to him about this. Edwin’s naivete was going to get him in trouble someday. “Come on, Edwin, you’re supposed to be the brains here. That prick thought you’d give up and change your mind when you saw how hard it was to count the cats. He was trying to wear you down.”
“I don’t know about that,” Edwin said thoughtfully. “He’s not so bad, really. I think he’s just lonely.”
“Well, there’s better ways to get a date than magically forcing a bloke to spend time with you. What was it he wanted you to do, anyway?” Charles wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know.
Edwin’s cheeks turned pink. “He wasn’t specific. It was more of an implication.”
“Oh yeah? Well, I’ll implicate my fist into his face if I ever see him again.”
“Charles.” Edwin’s voice was firm. “It’s fine. Nothing happened. I never even considered changing my mind about counting the cats.”
Reluctantly, Charles forced himself to relax and smile. “Yeah, it’s a good thing he didn’t know how stubborn you are.”
“I like to think of myself as determined ,” Edwin said primly.
“That, too.”
Edwin returned to his reading, and Charles, not quite knowing why, returned to watching him.
After Edwin finished his book, he and Charles began a game of Cluedo. They were just finishing up when the Night Nurse appeared in the office.
“It was Miss Scarlett, with the spanner, in the conservatory!” Edwin said triumphantly.
“Are you sure it wasn’t the two ghost boys, in the detective agency, with the codependency?” The Night Nurse interrupted. “Because I think it’s likely to kill me. ”
“You can’t die,” Edwin said.
“Codependency?” Charles demanded.
“Oh, yes. This,” the Night Nurse said, gesturing to Charles and Edwin, “is just so cute . And I hate cute things. Chop chop!” She clapped her hands. “Enough canoodling, let’s get to work.”
They had sprawled out on the floor while playing their game, and Charles’s ankle was hooked over Edwin’s. It was hardly canoodling . Edwin looked over at where their legs were touching. Charles, who saw him looking, quickly pulled his leg away. Somehow that embarrassed Edwin more than the Night Nurse’s comment. Because the haste with which he’d withdrawn implied that the touch was something to hide. Something they shouldn’t have been doing. Old shame rushed through Edwin, a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, a burning on his face. He swallowed, reminding himself that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to be afraid of, except for the fact that Charles was clearly ashamed. He’d pulled away from that innocent touch the moment the Night Nurse implied there might be something less innocent behind it. Clearly the implication made Charles uncomfortable. Perhaps they were codependent, to be mistaken for… more than friends. And if that made Charles uncomfortable, perhaps Edwin should pull back a bit. He may have gotten so engrossed in his own feelings that he forgot to consider Charles’s.
“Right.” Edwin stood up quickly and dusted himself off– though ghosts, of course, could not get dirty. “What’s first on the docket today?”
The Night Nurse consulted the list of cases. “That bairn that keeps disappearing from its pram down in Bethnal Green.”
“You mean The Case of the Vanishing Infant,” Edwin corrected.
“Call it what you like,” She said. “Just solve it.”
Charles had stood, too, and was slinging his bag over his shoulder. “We should grab Crystal and go find the parents. They’re alive, so she can ask them some questions.”
“That’s a capital idea,” Edwin said, with more enthusiasm than he felt. It was a perfect opportunity for Edwin to take a step back. For Charles’s sake. “Why don’t you and Crystal go down there and I’ll–” He looked around for an excuse. “I’ll work on this end of things,” he finished, when he didn’t find one.
Charles frowned. “You don’t want to go with?”
“No, it’s alright. It’s not as though I could speak to them anyway. Crystal’s the one you need. You and she go.”
“If you’re sure,” Charles said hesitantly.
“Quite sure.” Edwin sealed it with what he hoped was a cheery smile.
“Alright, mate, I’ll fill you in later,” Charles gave Edwin a smile in return, though it looked strained. He nodded at Edwin before heading to the door.
“You do that!” Edwin called to him as he walked out. Edwin watched until the door shut behind Charles, then dropped the smile from his face.
The Night Nurse smirked. “Trouble in paradise?”
“It’s not like that,” Edwin said. “We’re–”
“Sorry,” she interrupted. “I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t actually care.”
Edwin narrowed his eyes at her, then turned toward the bookcase, trying to spot something that might be relevant to the case.