Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Dad, please!! My ride will be here soon!”

There will come a time where every father will have to say goodbye to their child.

Whether it be because they are getting older, they are moving out, or they are going to college.

Well, for Mr. (L/N), it was all of the above and more.

You see, (Y/N) always was a big dreamer, one who dreamed far outside the box of their quiet little neighborhood, of their boring little life, of mundane work.

And with creativity comes rebellion.

(Y/N) was never a star child, far from it.

They had a knack for trouble, whether it be lighting paper towels on fire in the bathroom, getting sent home from school for writing some…graphic things in their creative writing assignments, or simply just wanting to get a rise out of their parents.

Or rather…parent. Non-plural.

Mr. (L/N) always thought some of his child’s rebellious nature came from their mom being taken away from them…but everytime he tried to talk with them about it, it’s like they refused to listen or open up.

But, even with all that…He couldn’t stop loving his child.

So that’s why he’s here, pleading with his child to stay, holding onto their arm for dear life.

“Please…It’s too dangerous out there…You’re still so young, you don’t know the world like I do.” He would try to plead with them.

(Y/N) looked away, their brows furrowing as they did. “I’m not a child anymore, and this is probably the only time I’ll get to experience campus life. Dad…Please…” They wriggled, trying to free their arm from the old man’s grasp.

“I’ll still call…and visit you…” (Y/N) added to try and soften the blow, though it did little in that department.

“But—Something terrible is going to happen to you, I can feel it!”

His frail, old hands tightened on their shirt, fisting it and creating messy wrinkles in its sleeve. He was a mess. An inconsolable, pleading mess.

…

It almost guilted (Y/N) into staying.

“Please, just stay with me. I don’t want you to end up like your mother—“

(Y/N) tensed, their breath hitching at that last word and just like that…They pulled away their arm, gathering the strength they once lacked to leave him.

“My ride's here. I gotta go.” And…With that, (Y/N) turned in their heels. With the class and balance of a bull in a china shop, they lugged their heavy guitar case on their shoulder and used their free hand to grab for their suitcase.

…

“Goodbye, dad.” And, with that, they left.

Oh, if only they knew that was the last time they would see their fathers face…Maybe then they would’ve cherished the memory more…

——————————————————

With a huff and a little bit of elbow grease, (Y/N) managed to shove their luggage in the trunk of their friend's car with a little grunt of exertion.

All while said friend was honking on the horn, more than excited to get them out of here.

“C’mon, babes!! Let’s blow this joint!” She called out from the side of her car…Which wasn’t really that hard considering it was a convertible.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!! It’s not my fault you gave me the world's fattest guitar!” (Y/N) complained, grabbing at the trunk's hood before shutting it with a huff before making their way over to the passenger side.

“Yeah, right. You fuckin’ love that guitar.” Trixie, their friend, rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag, taking it off of the seat and tossing it in the backseats to make some room for them.

Almost as soon as they got in the car, they could smell her.

She always carried this scent with her, one that lingered wherever she went, carrying a reminder of her presence. She smells heavily of smoke, with alcohol being prominent on her too. She always thinly veiled this scent with the cheap perfume she buys as well, which somehow makes the smell more nauseous than it does at deodorizing it.

(Y/N) had offered to buy her expensive, more fresh smelling perfumes before, but she always refused, claiming she liked this brand even though (Y/N) knew it’s really because she couldn’t be bothered with a more expensive brand, knowing how quickly she goes through those perfume bottles to mask her bad habits.

“So, you lied to your pops, huh? Cold hearted.” Trixie would tease, a smile pulling at her lips to reveal teeth stained yellow at the edges from how often she had a cigarette caged between them.

“Oh, hush.” (Y/N) huffed, swatting her on her arm before crossing their arms and looked away. “What he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him…Besides, you said our band would blow up, right??? Once it does, I’ll have enough money that I could go to any college of my choice!”

Trixie snorted at this, her nose wrinkling slightly as she laughed, creasing her copper dark foundation. Her hair was messy, flying with the wind as she slowly revved her car's engine and took off. Her Afro puff was a dark black color, with red streaks in it, highlights that her brother Elijah had given her. Although messy and with a few baby hairs breaking free, she certainly fit her aesthetic. Her torn band tee-shirt, her dark black shorts she couldn’t be bothered with buttoning, her black fishnets—All of it coupling together to give her the grunge aesthetic she was going for.

Makes sense, she was in a rock band after all.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry your pretty little head about it! I called up Rosaline and she said she’d take us on as a client. We'll still have to be doing those boring bar joints for now, but she’s hoping to get us in an actual concert as a starter by June.”

(Y/N) perked up at that, a smile pulling at their lips. “June?? Well…That’s not too far.”

They sighed as they propped their chin on their palm, letting themself daydream and grow fond of that idea.

“Where did you even find that girl anyways?? Agents aren’t exactly common here, y’know..”

Trixie simply grinned, flashing him a toothy smile as she reached for her sunglasses, slowly slipping them on, trying to replicate how one would in an old cheesy 80’s movie. “Don’t worry…I have my ways.”

…

“That was cringe—“

“YOU’RE CRINGE!!”

—————————————————

Moving into Trixie and Elijah’s apartment was easier than (Y/N) intended.

Turns out the two had already cleaned a room out for them in advance—

Well, they say the two, but really it was just Elijah. They knew Trixie couldn’t be bothered to.

But, nonetheless, they had a room now!! Now, all they had to do was put their stuff in it…Which is rather easy when you only have one suitcase and a guitar case.

“—So, this is your room. We share food so don’t worry about that, but we have a shared savings that goes to groceries and we expect you to add to it. Not to mention we share chores, and we-“

“Elijah.” (Y/N) looked over their shoulder, shooting the programmer a look. “I think I get it.”

Elijah huffed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, suit yourself.” He sighed and pushed his glasses up that were perched upon his hooked nose. Just stealing one glance at him, you’d be able to get his shtick. He had shaggy, long blonde hair with dark brown roots, acne scars littered on his olive cheeks, only a few shades lighter than his more dark skinned sister, with his outfit much less aesthetically pleasing than his sisters, rather just being a random t-shirt and shorts that he threw on. He looked like your average tech nerd, which made sense since he was the only one in college, majoring in Software Development.

And, of course, he was also the drummer for their band, sharing the other two’s love for punk rock music.

“I just don’t want you messing anything up, you hear me?? I just got an internship at this company and I think they really like me…They want me to fix some bugs in their headgear.” Elijah leaned against the doorframe, occupying the doorway as he talked to (Y/N) who seemed more intent on throwing all their shit in the closet for now.

Still, though, they expressed interest. “Really?? That’s the first time I’m hearing of this. What’s the company’s na—“

However, their question was quickly shot down and cut off by Trixie, who shouldered and squeezed past Elijah to pop into the room.

“Fuck all that noise!! Elijah, little birdie’s finally free from his cage, don’t bore him with your tech talk! We should be celebrating! Getting white girl wasted!” She lifted up the two shot glasses she was holding in her hand to emphasize her point, with the two being filled to the brim with what smells like fireball.

(Y/N)’s nose scrunched up at that.

“Oh, no thanks. I’m trying to quit…I get really loopy off that shit, last time I started to hallucinate and it really freaked me out..”

Trixie was having none of that, however and quickly slung one of her arms around (Y/N)’s shoulders. “Oh, cmooon!! Ya’ got your big sis Trix’ over here to watch over you! I’ll make sure you don’t get too shitfaced!”

(Y/N) swallowed thickly before shooting a passing glance towards Elijah, trying to silently beg the more responsible sibling to intervene…but he was gone, leaving the doorway empty.

Dammit, that little weasel…

“I….Uh…I guess one drink couldn’t hurt??”

“That’s the spirit, babes!!”

…

…

One drink soon turned into two, then two to three, three to four…

And that brings them to where they are now, in Trixie’s room with her blasting her music through her speakers, damn near making the room tremble from the bass as she laid slumped back with a joint caged between her heart shaped lips and (Y/N) leaned against the headboard, looking up at the ceiling to count all the creases and tears in its paint.

They licked their lips absentmindedly as they counted…then lost track and counted again…and again.

“Y’know,” Trixie tore him away from his concentration with a breathless word, holding smoke in her lungs before pulling the joint away from her lips and exhaling. “I’m surprised you chose to stay with us…You have a good life, y’know, better than us.”

“Good??” (Y/N) sighed, shaking their head. “It’s a nice life, don’t get me wrong…but it’s so mundane…so boring. It’s not exactly the life I want for me.”

“Oh, and what is the life you want?? Being a junkie like me?” Trixie spoke with a lazy smile, earning a smack on the arm from (Y/N).

“Not that!! It’s just…You guys are so much more exciting…You actually have shit to do around here, you got your shit planned..”

Trixie paused, hesitating for a moment before tearing her gaze away. “I…really don’t..” She then looked over her room, her muscles tensing as she counted the amount of full ashtrays and emptied bottles that laid dormant in it.

…

Who would want this??

What’s exciting about this?

She should really quit.

…

But almost as soon as that thought had crossed her mind, she was quick to bring her joint back to her lips, taking a longer drag out of it and holding it in her lungs before moving to rest it on a nearby ashtray.

Then, she exhaled, letting the foggy, fuzzy feeling of intoxication take over her, wishing to forget as her high washed over her.

…

What was she talking about again??

“Oh!! Y’know what would be exciting?!”

She beamed, making (Y/N) pause and raise a brow, wordlessly asking her to continue.

“Let’s go fuck with Eli’s new toy! I bet playing VR shit is twice as good when you’re high!!”

(Y/N) tensed, a hesitant look crossing over their face with them seeing tentative to join her on that endeavor. “But, Elijah said he didn’t want us to mess around with that…I think we should—“

Trixie was having none of it, however, quickly shooting out to grab his wrist and drag him off the bed.

“C’mon! Don’t be a pussy! I touch his shit all the time!”

(Y/N), unable to say no, swallowed thickly before begrudgingly following after her, letting her drag them away and out of her room, abandoning it in favor of going to Elijah’s room.

Unfortunately, the blonde was nowhere to be seen, most likely taking a shower or grabbing some food.

(Y/N) tensed, wobbling slightly as they felt two hands on their back, encouraging them and shoving them into the room.

“Go on! Find the headset!”

“What?!” They turned around to look at her, their eyes snapping open wide. “Why me?!”

“He had a soft spot for you! If you’re snooping in his room, you’ll get off with a slap on the wrist!” Trixie made a ‘shoo’-ing motion with her hands after that. “Now go!”

(Y/N), with a disgruntled groan, reluctantly stumbled into the room, venturing into its depths.

It was dark, he had to squint to make anything out, and even then, the alcohol was fucking with his brain. The only source of light he really had was the glowing blue light of Elijah’s idle computer screen.

“Dammit..” (Y/N) cursed under their breath as they swayed and staggered, searching throughout the room in an attempt to find his headset.

Lucky for them…It was laying perched on his bed, prime for the taking.

So…They took it.

With slow, careful movements, they reached out and grabbed for the headset, holding the weighty tech in their hands and looking it over.

It looked so…clean...so new. What could possibly need to be fixed about it..?

Should they…check and see if it’s an internal reason?

No, no! Of course not! That's so rude!

After all, curiosity killed the cat.

…

Good thing (Y/N) wasn’t a cat.

Against their better judgments, their drunken mind was already acting on its intrusive thoughts, lifting the headset up towards their face before finally slipping it on their head…

…

Nothing.

“Huh…No wonder it needs to be fixed. This tacky piece of shit doesn’t wor—“

Then they felt a spark.

A jolt of electrocution ran down their spine, making their body tense and his muscles convulse.

Their lips parted, a scream ripping out of their throat at the sudden rush of pain.

“(Y/N)?! Dude, are you okay?!” They could hear Trixie calling for them from the other room.

(Y/N) couldn’t speak if they even wanted to, too busy with the screams that ripped out their throat, making it raw and numb with their power. Their hands, instinctively, rushed towards their face to try and grab and rip the headset off.

It refused to budge, though, almost as if it were seared into their skin now.

They cried and yelled, their fingernails digging into their own skin in attempts to pry this painful machine off of their face.

They were so close too…They could feel it budging, giving away under the strength of their hands.

But…Then it all went black.

“(Y/N)?!”

“(Y/N)!!”

Chapter Text

(Y/N) knew they took one too many shots of fireball but…this was just ridiculous.

They knew he should’ve put his foot down and be firm when they told Trixie that they weren't going to drink anymore because now they were suffering from some hallucinations the likes of which they hadn’t thought possible…

They didn’t even know he could have such…vivid hallucinations..
…

At least, they hoped this was a hallucination.

You see, as soon as they were able to regain their bearings and bring them back to reality, they found themself surrounded with…bright, blinding colors with saturated reds, yellows, and blues assaulting their vision everywhere they looked.

Red and blue stripes painted the walls with thick building blocks fit for oversized toddlers and long, imposing slides that looped around the building, leading to everywhere and yet nowhere at the same time.

And the shape of this place…So big…So imposing…And yet…It somehow looked like a—

“Is this a…circus??” (Y/N) grumbled, pushing themself up off the floor was an exhausted grumble.

Quickly, they snapped their head from side to side before cupping a hand over their mouth to try and call out to someone familiar.

“Trixie!!…Elijah?! The [@#!*] did you lace my drink wit—“ They stopped, cutting themselves off with their eyes snapping open wide at the blearing beep that came out of their mouth.

Did they just…censor themself?

They cleared their throat, trying to curse again to test their theory on being censored.

“What the fu-“

“Ah, ah, ah!! Barely a minute in and you're already trying to break the filter?? These new guests just get filthier and filthier!”

…

Okay, what the fuck?!

(Y/N)’s heard about a bad trip but…This was just ridiculous.

Cause they don't know WHAT you have to be on to see a talking pair of dentures in a tuxedo but they were confident that they hadn’t taken it.

What was in their drink?? Meth?

“…Oh, you’ve got to be [@#!*]-ing me..”

The dentures floating before them were quick to tutt at their behavior, gasping and shaking his…head?? Whatever it was, he was shaking it.

“Well? Not even a hello? A ‘Where am I’?? Straight into the profanity I see—What a potty mouth, we can’t be having any of that in the circus!”

…(Y/N) lifted up their arm, pinching at the flesh of their forearm only to—

“Ow!”

Well…It wasn’t a dream, but there were more pressing matters to attend to right now.

They don't remember their skin feeling like this…

In fact, they don't remember their body LOOKING like this!!

(Y/N) yelped, stumbling backwards in an attempt to scramble away from this strange, abstract floating man causing them to fall flat on their ass. “What…What are you…What is this place??”

“Oh, NOW they finally ask the important questions..”

Now…There was a different voice, coming from (Y/N)’s left, making them snap their head over, catching sight of a group that looked…Well, less than normal, let’s leave it at that.

The voice seemed to be coming from the rabbit, the one standing closest.

He was a tall, slender man, with periwinkle skin…or..fur?? It was hard to tell…Either way, it was purple, contrasting the almost obnoxious pink of his overalls and vibrant yellows of his gloves.

What was most interesting about him though was probably his eyes, with the sclera in them holding the same yellow coloring as his teeth and gloves did.

(Y/N) cringed, their nose scrunching up at the teeth as it reminded him of Trixie’s…He wondered if this one was a smoker too.

“Oh, worry not, my funky little friend! All will be explained—!” The dentures-for-a-head guy was talking…but (Y/N) couldn’t bring themself to look at him, instead slowly tilting their head to try and get a look at the rest of the crew.

There was a…strange shaped one that resembled old ‘pull them apart and put them back together again’ toys from McDonald’s that (Y/N) vaguely remembered…She was the easiest one to see, what with her being far away from the rest of the crowd and just looking completely done with this situation as if she had been through it millions of times before.

The closest to her was a tall man, one made out of wood and looking like a king off of a chess board…He had a king's robe draped over him and wide eyes that held years of terror in them. He couldn’t seem to keep still, with his disembodied hands constantly moving…

Then, there was a red-head…An old ragdoll looking woman with yarn hair, tanned skin that reminded (Y/N) of a potato sack, and a stitched dress. Out of all of them, she looked the most inviting. She was soft and almost…motherly looking.

(Y/N) was quick to look away from her when she smiled.

…They didn’t like thinking about mothers.

So, they set their gaze on the next character, a smiling masked one with red, scarlet ribbons acting as its body, the small frail ribbons looking as though it was barely holding its head up. Its mask shifted uncannily, with what should be stagnant instead moving to form a face of delight with one of its ribbons waving at them, acting as a hand.

Then…there was the last one.

This one seemed to be hiding behind the tall slender figure of the rabbit before, (Y/N) couldn’t see much of them, just a thick, pillowy jester hat peeking out behind the rabbit’s frame with two, wide, red and blue pinwheel eyes watching their every move carefully.

(Y/N) swallowed thickly and looked away, getting creeped out by the eyes that kept staring, even after they stopped looking at the owner.

“—And that’s the entire reason for this circus’ existence and why you’re here!!”

Oh shit, they totally forgot that this guy was still talking…

“Uhh…Cool, cool..” (Y/N) shook their head as they moved to clutch at it, feeling their brain throbbing just trying to process all this. “So…When does the high wear off?”

“The what now?” The floating man’s disembodied blinked owlishly.

“The…high?? Y’know, uhh…intoxication?” (Y/N) looked confused right back at him in return.

“Oh, would you look at what you’ve done, Caine?? You brought a druggie into the circus…”

Druggie?!

(Y/N)’s gaze was quick to snap over towards where they heard the voice, seeing the rabbit with a shit eating grin plastered on its face.

(Y/N)’s eyes narrowed, hating that stupidly confident attitude that this rabbit was giving off.

They knew they had more pressing issues to worry about, but they absolutely despised being judged or looked at by people they barely knew.

“Well, he brought a furry in, didn’t he?? Guess he wants to build his own little freak show.” (Y/N) huffed, crossing their arms and narrowing their eyes at the rabbit, who’s ears twitched and eyes widened a bit, as if surprised to get some talk back, but that reaction quickly faded as he snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Take a look around—It’s already a freak show, sweetheart.” He lifted one of his hands to gesture around this place, using the word ‘sweetheart’ mockingly as he did so.

“Now, now, Jax! Don’t go bad talking about our Amazing Digital Circus—Trademark pending—To our newest guest! We’re supposed to make their first day here a fun one!” (Y/N) jolted as they felt two hands clutch at their shoulders, squeezing them before pushing them towards the crowd of people.

“Well?? Get a move on! Let’s introduce you to your new living quarters and friends!!”

…Living? As in…They’ll be staying here??

Oh boy…

——————————————————

Ever since…last night, (Y/N) had been acting…differently.

Trixie couldn’t really put her finger on it but he was…strange..More…robotic.

She had found him lying on the floor of Elijah’s room, the headset having been ripped off of him and tossed to the side.

Blood was steaming down these nail marks around his eyes where the headset would’ve been…and, obviously, it scared her shitless.

So, she rushed him back into his room, not wanting Elijah to see what the two had done all while struggling to carry his unconscious form. She set him on his bed carefully, looking him over and making sure he was okay.

Lucky for her, he was still breathing and the wounds weren’t that serious…but it was still a terrifying sight to see..

But now…He’s…different.

“Hey, broski, I’m gonna swing down to the music shop, you wanna join?”

Trixie jumped on the arm of the couch, draping herself over it as she watched the figure sitting in the middle of it, posture stiff unlike their usual slouched, lazy posture, with their eyes wide instead of their half-lidded tired stare they had.

“No, go on ahead without me. I still need to get settled in.” (Y/N) didn’t even look at her, just staring at the TV.

But…The TV was turned off.

Trixie’s brows furrowed at the sight. “But…You only brought two bags?? How much would you need to put up?”

She sighed before pushing herself down, falling into the couch cushion beside him before reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulders, doing her best to get him excited by flashing him one of her usual mischievous grins.

“C’mooon! Y’know you can’t say no to lil’ ol’ me!” She beamed, before adding onto that and wiggling her eyebrows at him. “Besides, that cute cashier boy might be there!! Don’t you want to see the guy that Elijah wouldn’t shut up about?”

“Hey!!” She could hear her brother shout from the other room.

“I…can’t. I need to stay. I still need to get settled in.” (Y/N) repeated, not even so much as a waiver of hesitation in their voice, meanwhile they used to have such a hard time saying no to Trixie.

Not to mention how they didn’t even so much as glance at her or budge, even when she was practically draped across them.

She paused, her brows knitting together as she pulled back and looked down at him…

“Uh…”

Trixie’s eyes narrowed slightly.

She didn’t know why, but all the hairs on the back of her neck were on end, effectively creeped out by (Y/N)’s behavior.

“Dude, are you okay?? You’re acting weird…Weirder than you already are.”

At the sound of suspicion in her tone, suddenly (Y/N) tensed and finally some life seemed to return to their form as they turned to finally look at her.

They blinked as their pupils dilated.

“Wha—?? Oh, no, no!! Sorry, I just…I still have a hangover from last night..” Just like that, their voice sounded more human again, with their usual stumble and stutter as they spat these words out. “I told you I should quit drinking..”

Trixie paused, eyeing them up and down…Before—

“Phew!!”

Her shoulders sagged as her usual grin was pulled back onto her lips.

“Had me scared for a second there, ya’ asshole!! I thought ya’ got brain damage or somethin’ from last night!”

She believed it.

——————————————————

Soo…turns out, Caine was intending to make this (Y/N)’s forever home.

Also, turns out, that is what he had done to all the others in here.

ALSO, turns out you can DIE here!

Abstraction, they call it, but if you asked (Y/N)…It seems more like suicide.

Ceasing to exist because you gave up and lost hope?? Yeah…That’s suicide.

To that…(Y/N) only had one thing to say…

FUCK that noise!

It was some bullshit!! He had them fucked up if he thought they’d just sit by idly and let this happen to him! It was an outrage!

(Y/N) could barely keep their cool after they realized what Caine was planning.

They, of course, were in pursuit for an exit as soon as they realized what was going on.

But…Unfortunately, it’s not like there’d be a big huge door labeled ‘EXIT’ for them to just waddle on out of.

So…they had to get crafty.

They laid in the bed of their new room, loudly designed and colorful, with the colors matching the ones on their…digital avatar.

They choose to call it that, as they’d probably hurl referring to it as their body.

This isn’t their body, the body they knew, the body they grew up in.

Just like this isn’t their room, like this isn’t their home, like how this isn’t their world—

(Y/N) huffed and quickly buried their face in their pillows, not wanting to have to think about this place anymore than they had to.

Besides, they need to come up with a plan…

Like…

Maybe they could convince Caine to let them go outside?? This place seems to be based on a game…right??

Well, maybe (Y/N) could try walking off the map then!!

Maybe if their avatar isn’t here…It’ll automatically get put back into the real world..?

It was worth a shot…

Or maybe they coul—

‘KNOCK KNOCK’

(Y/N) jolted upwards with a gasp, quickly snapping their gaze over towards the door where the knocks came from—Not like the knocks could really come from anywhere else.

They swallowed thickly, their lips trembling slightly as they fought an internal debate on whether they should answer the door and talk to whatever…colorful character it was now, or act like they weren't here…

They decided to answer the door…Albeit reluctantly.

“Yeah?” They asked, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it open only to be met with a…familiar jester hat. Except, now, they got to see the whole body attached to it.

It was a short stubby girl, roughly around 5 feet tall with thick tufts of hair that looked blocky and 3D modeled sticking out of her jester hat. She had wide rounded eyes that seemed as though she was in a constant state of surprise. She had red and blue colors, just like the circus walls. Except hers were in her clown outfit and her hat.

She held something in her hands…a plate of food.

It didn’t look very appetizing, looking more like the plastic things kids would use to pretend to cook.

In the real world, you eat microplastics…In the digital circus?? You’re just eating straight up plastic.

She swallowed thickly, her voice wavering as she spoke, as if she were having regrets of even being here right now. “Hey…Uhm It’s…Pomni..Just…Checking up on you?”

She glanced away, her gaze falling to the floor.

“You…uh…just went to your room instead of dinner..Which is fine, I’m not judging!! It’s not like you need to eat anymore but—“

God, she was awkward…

With a sigh, (Y/N) pushed the door out further before grabbing the plate, getting the gist of what she was saying.

“Thanks.” They sighed out curtly, not trying to be rude but being too exhausted to really handle any social interactions right now.

“Yeah…Uh…No problem.” She stole a glance up at them before her gaze fell back down to the floor. “I just…Know how hard it was on me the first day I got here and…I guess I’m…worried?”

Oh yeah…They did remember vaguely of Jax making a comment about her not being the newbie anymore..She must be the newest member, and hence, the first day is still fresh on her mind.

Too bad (Y/N) didn’t like to be pitied…

“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.” (Y/N) sighed, before shifting the plate in one hand so they could grab the edge of the door with the other, slowly closing it more so Pomni couldn’t see inside their room…not like they had anything to hide.

“Oh…Uh…Okay..Well..I’m just…here for you if you need it…”

They doubted that. She barely knew them, how could she possibly care enough to be there for them?

They sighed, still doing their best to fake a smile.

“Thank you…Pomni…I’m, uh, here for you too..”

Then, they closed the door, and almost as soon as they did, any strength they once had in their legs dissipated and with that, they came crumbling down to the ground with a sob leaving their lips as they slid down the door.

God, they missed their home…

Chapter Text

Part of (Y/N) was hoping that when they’d wake up…It’ll all be normal. That they’d be back in their own bed, sleeping comfortably in their own body, in their own world.

Unfortunately, reality is much darker than fantasy and (Y/N) came to find that out when they woke up, opening their eyes only to be met with the same, saturated blinking colors that they dreaded seeing.

This place was gonna Pavlov them into hating red and blue, they swear…

They sighed, turning on their side so they didn’t have to look up at the ceiling, feeling their stomach tighten and heart pound just at the sights.

How wonderful. A rush of anxiety for breakfast? Their favorite..

That was sarcasm, of course, though (Y/N) didn’t doubt that people would pick up on it as who would want to be here??

A clown, maybe…Or maybe an excited toddler.

But, as far as (Y/N) knew, they were neither of those things..

They were tempted to just lay in bed and rot away. Maybe if they just gave up and were stagnant for long enough, the universe would take pity on them and free them from this digital prison.

They liked that idea a lot…Just laying in bed, sobbing and crying until they couldn’t feel their eyes anymore. They knew it wouldn’t help anything, but it felt better than the alternative of playing along in this sick little facade of a happy world.

There was just one thing stopping them, however…

Abstraction.

Not only were they, one, terrified of the idea of it, but, two, they refused to give this world the satisfaction of seeing them in their final moments.

If they just rotted in bed all day…It’d only let negative feelings and emotions fester and grow…Which was a recipe for suicidal thoughts, or, abstraction in this words terms.

They’d know…

They swallowed thickly, shaking their head as they pushed themself up into a sitting position.

Welp…Guess it’s time to start the day.

———————————————————

“Caine.”

(Y/N) stood before the floating man, arms crossed as they looked up at him.

How someone so short is still towering over them is beyond them.

“Yes? How can I help you, my strangely shaped fellow?” The man turned his…head? Dentures? (Y/N)’s still getting the hang of what to call those…

Also…Strangely shaped??

Add that to the bucket list of names they’ve been called that they will haunt them.

Right under scrimbly, of course—They had Trixie to thank for that one.

“Can we talk? Alone?”

Caine’s teeth raised at that, like how a normal person's eyebrows would raise. “Whoa now!! Aren’t you forward?”

(Y/N) huffed. “Not like that. Like..Actually talk. I want to know more about this…circus of yours.” They spoke, gesturing around them with a grimace as they referenced the circus.

“Hm…Well, I DO suppose I can make time to discuss with you. After all, we still have much to talk about! For starters, we should’ve given you a name by now.”

(Y/N) paused, blinking owlishly as they looked at him confused. “Name?? But…I already have a name?”

…

…

The air shifted, turning ice cold as Caine stopped, floating still in the air as he looked away (Y/N) with a slack jaw and wide eyes.

“…What?” His voice was flat, lacking the usual booming, almost talk-show voice he has like he’s talking to an audience 24/7

“I…Have a name?” (Y/N) hesitantly repeated, now feeling at unease.

What was so monumental about that?? Everyone here had names.

“You…aren’t supposed to remember..” Caine muttered though paused before shaking his head, quickly snapping back into character just as easily as he snapped out. “No problem! Saves me the trouble and the leg work! Now…What would you like to talk about??”

(Y/N) swallowed thickly, sparing a glance behind them, now on edge and weirded out by him.

Were they…wrong??

If they weren’t supposed to remember, does that mean the others don’t remember their names?

What else wasn’t they supposed to remember…?

“Uh…Well, I was just wondering how you…Keep track of this whole place? Surely any other person would have unfinished areas and clipping galore and yet it all feels so…real. How do you do it?”

Was (Y/N) purposefully stroking his ego?? Yes.

It was one of the only ways they really knew how to subtly ask him if there were any unfinished parts of this world or if there were any way they could get off the map, as he would be more willing to share if they were more flattering.

At least, that was their working theory.

Lucky for them, the flattery seemed to work…At least a little bit.

“Oh, you!” Caine gave an eye roll, with his actual eyeballs quite literally rolling on the tongue in his…Mouth? God, this guy was creepy.

“But it’s true! My work is a masterpiece! Although I have unfinished projects, none of them will be seen by you guys until done so there’s no need to worry your silly little head about it.”

…

Fuck.

———————————————————

Soo…That was a bust.

Womp, womp.

(Y/N) tried not to give up hope however…mostly in an attempt to stay sane.

Maybe Caine was just gassing himself up when he said that his work was perfect and any imperfections were hidden.

After all, this world had to end somewhere.

And so, off (Y/N) went, weaseling their way out of the circus when Caine was distracted with the others.

Now, here they were in the just as bright and blinding outside world, nobody here but them and their thoughts…

God, how they hated being alone with their thoughts..

They chewed at their cheek…Only to be met with a weird, blocky taste rather than the slick, wet one they were used to.

Pixels tastes weird…

(Y/N) sigh with a hand coming up to massage their temple as they walk, wandering down the fields of saturated green grass.

This place was so…fake. Everything was dialed up to 100% and it was all just a huge overstimulated mindfuck.

It reminded them of how bland and grey the real world was.

But…They loved that world. They were never the type to like the calm, domestic life, but now??

They craved it with every fiber of their being.

“Whatcha doin’ out alone?? You tryna get snatched up?”

“GAH!!” (Y/N) yelped, jumping backwards and nearly falling back on their as sun the process when they felt hot breath fan over the back of their neck, creating goosebumps on it with a voice right in their ear.

The owner cackled, taking great pleasure in seeing (Y/N) freak out, making (Y/N) whip their head around to see who it was.

“Oh, it’s you.”

Jax…

He beamed, flashing the widest smile with his eyes nothing more than two slits. “Yep!! Lil’ old me! Y’know, you should really keep your guard up in places like this…You never know who might decide to just snap and steal you up.”

…

Creepy…

“Uhh…” (Y/N) looked behind them, checking tos we if any others came with Jax. “I’ll…Keep that noted.”

“Soo…Whatcha doin’ out here so far?” The cartoonish rabbit asked, clasping his hands behind his back as he strolled up next to (Y/N) to walk alongside them. “You out here to brood and be all lonely?”

(Y/N)’s eye twitched at that, the sudden intrusion on Ajax’s part throwing a wrench into their plans to do this alone.

Still, they kept walking in pursuit for the edge of the map.

“No, I’m minding my business, maybe you should do the same.” (Y/N) responded, giving Jax a glare as they did so.

Jax, unaffected by any of that, just broke out into a cackle.

“Ooh, my bad, edgelord! Didn’t know I was getting the little druggie all annoyed!” He teased, the smile on his lips widening as he did so—As if it could get any bigger.

“Shut up.” (Y/N) sneered, their lips curling up in disgust at the name that Jax chose for him. He heard one line from (Y/N) referencing substances and automatically assumed they were a junkie.

“Ohh, that’s it? No creative comment. Fitting. You’re not exactly a creative personality.” (Y/N) noticed that when Jax spoke…He never actually opened his mouth. He just moved his lips rather than his jaw, like someone talking through gritted teeth but instead his body was just naturally forced to.

“And what does that mean?” (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed at that, not liking where he was going one bit.

“You’re a stereotype. I mean, come oonn, we’ve all seen your type before!! Let me guess, you got some mommy and daddy issues that made you all coked out and now you just wallow in your own self pity going, ‘poor me, poor me!!’, huh?? That’s all you troubled types.” Jax spoke, rolling his eyes as he did so, even ending his sentence with fake enthusiastic jazz hands.

(Y/N)’s brows furrowed at that, hating the little sting that came to them as if Jax’s words cut them.

They didn’t like to think of themselves as the self pitying type but…They were more than intent to wallow in their own misery in bed earlier if it would have meant their death.

As for the mommy and daddy issues…?

…

Well, they had no issues with their father.

“Sounds like you’re projecting.” (Y/N) responded with a huff as they crossed their arms.

“Nah, I just know you all too well. Enough to know you’re out here to find that exit, in fact!”

(Y/N) froze, tensing up and stopping in their tracks at his words…

How did he..??

(Y/N) sighed, shaking their head as they kept walking and tore their gaze away from Jax, their body immediately perking up at what they saw before them.

Now, very little people would look at the world suddenly cutting off into the abyss and get all excited, but here (Y/N) was, accepting this as if it were a warm hug from a mother—

Oooh, too soon, huh?

Slowly, (Y/N) stepped up towards the abyss before dipping their hand in it and pulling it back out.

Nothing happened.

It was safe…

So with that, they took a deep breath before…plunging straight into the unknown.

“By the way, did you know Caine had purposefully made this map rotate around itself so no one could fall off the edge? Pretty neat, huh?”

Wait, what?!

(Y/N)’s eyes snapped open, and sure enough, they weren’t falling but instead…They were right back where they started, near that god forsaken circus tent.

Their gaze snapped around, and sure enough, Jax soon popped into existence, spawning besides them after he too went through the abyss.
…

“You could’ve told me that the ENTIRE TIME?!” (Y/N) yelled, snapping as soon as they saw his stupid cocky face again.

“Not the entire time, only when it was funny.” Jax beamed, not at all affected by the others yelling—In fact, he seemed to THRIVE off of it.

“I hate you.” (Y/N)’s eye twitched as they crossed their arms. Words could not begin to describe the hate they felt for the rabbit in front of them.

They were about to make this fucker disappear like Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Both are cocky motherfuckers.

“Yeaah, I get that a lot! But…”

Suddenly, Jax stepped up to (Y/N), slipping to get in front of the other, practically towering over them with his height.

“Y’know, I don’t feel the same way about you. You’re…mediocre at best, you probably won’t even last a week at this place, but let me give you a little word from the wise, yeah?”

Then, (Y/N) jumped, feeling one of his gloved hands reach out to clutch at their shoulder.

They shuddered, their nose scrunching up with them cringing as his hand seemed to fall, as if it wanted to trail down their arm.

“You can’t take yourself too seriously in this place. You’re a clown in a circus, so take that stick out your [#@!*] and live a little.” (Y/N)’s brows knitted together at his words, feeling on edge all of a sudden.

Something about this guy screamed danger..

“Or else?” (Y/N) questioned defiantly.

“Or else…” Jax leaned in, letting his breath fan over the ear of (Y/N)’s avatar. “Well, let’s just say…You’ll end up like all the others.”

It didn’t take a genius to tell he meant abstraction.

And, with that, he stepped away, turning on his heel to go, leaving (Y/N) all alone.

“What the fu—“

‘BZZZT’

Did they just…Glitch?!