Chapter Text
(Author's Note: In this story, each main character in Colin's mind has a face much like his own and represent a personality trait of his- some of them conflicting. Lots of inspiration for this story from Disney's Alice in Wonderland (1951) and the manga, Alice in the Kingdom of Hearts (2007-10).
A list of each emotion the character personified (just picture a very handsome man with similar faces and different hair colours for each, regardless of the name):
White Rabbit- Colin's innocent, unwavering love and admiration of Penelope
Blue Caterpillar- Colin's studious, serious, and ambitious side
Knave of Hearts- Colin's careless side (the part of him that unintentionally hurts Penelope's feelings in the real world)
The Dodo- Colin's love for the arts, particularly music and fine writing like poetry
Cheshire Cat- Colin's playful, child-like, carefree side
March Hare- Colin's physical desire—and embarrassment of said blatant lust—for Penelope
Mad Hatter- Colin's ego (the part of him who is too proud to admit that he likes Penelope)
King of Hearts- Colin's weak-will and ability to let others influence his actions too much (i.e. he's a push-over)
Queen of Hearts- Colin's feminine side; the side that admires and appreciates Penelope as a woman (and the only other female character in this story besides Penelope and her sisters)
Each of these characters occupies a region of Colin's brain, or Wonderland as it were, and they don't always get along. They frequently argue and try to out compete each other for control. The only thing they all share in common is an immediate interest in Penelope (the only "outsider" or foreign entity to Colin's mind). Of course Penelope has no knowledge of any of this- this is just context for you, dear readers.
Told from Penelope's P.O.V. Enjoy!)
The English Countryside, 1816:
"Mother's right! No one will ever want to marry you, Penelope! You're too fat and ugly!"
From the deep recesses of my mind, those words were drudged up back into my forethought. Fluttering my eyes back open, the hand that was shielding my eyes from the sun moved down to rest on top of my stomach. The sky was so high and blue…. It's quiet. Shutting my eyes again momentarily, I drew in a long breathe of air. Laying there on the grass was such a good feeling- if only I could bottle it up and keep hold of it forever. Slowly my eyes re-opened, though I knew I was drifting back to sleep. I could tell my mind was slipping back into a state of calm, still blackness. Deep, deep it sank, and my breathing softened.
"Face it. You'll die an old, unwanted spinster. Nothing but a drain on the family, just like you've always been."
"Penelope? Penelope? Are you awake, dear?" Dear? My eyes drew back open and, much to my internal shock, I found myself facing up to Colin's eyes- those beautiful, gorgeous eyes of his. I could only stare lifelessly back up at him. It WAS Colin Bridgerton, to be sure; I'd recognize that voice, those eyes anywhere. He had Colin's pale complexion and that sweet little tilt on the sides of his lips. It was Colin, only….. It was not Colin as I knew him- not from reality, anyway. How do I know this, you may ask?
Well for one thing, THIS Colin had rabbit ears. White, long, erect rabbit ears. He wore a livery suit which sported a gold pocket watch cradled in his front pocket. There were a pair of round, handsome spectacles over his eyes. His hair was longer than I'd seen it before and snow white. There was a fabric heart sewn overtop one side of his jacket, like it was a crest of some sort. He was looking down at me with worry, breathing a sigh of relief when my eyes finally opened again. His shoulders relaxed and his eyes lowered a tad as he flashed the most brilliant smile. "Thank god…"
I blinked incredulous but not all together alarmed. My reasoning for all this made sense to me. "I'm dreaming….. I must be dreaming," my lips muttered more to myself than him. To my mild surprise, rabbit Colin pulled out his watch to check the time hurriedly. "And we must be off; I'm already late. Can you stand, my dear?" My dear? He called me that before too… Blinking again, I wasn't sure how to react to such a peculiar situation. Usually I have no control over my dreams; they just…. happened. But this…. It felt so strange; it's almost as if I was fully awake, though I knew such a thing was impossible. I'd never dreamt so vividly before though….. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear that this version of Colin was right there in front of me. I could almost reach up and touch his cheek with my hand…..
You can't imagine how wide my eyelids peeled back when the sudden and quite unexpected sensation of Colin's white-gloved fingers caressed the top of my head, interlacing themselves with strands of my hair. It made my heart quiver in ways I never knew possible before; it wasn't helped by the intense, profound smile he was giving me just then either. His face beamed down at me as his hand stayed so close my skin…
"Look at you….. I'd nearly forgotten how beautiful you are. Stunning even. And now, to be so near you again….. To think I am permitted such a precious moment in time. Look at you now- what a joy it is gaze upon such profound, aesthetic, feminine beauty. It is like holding springtime in my arms, or a branch of lilac."
My jaw dropped open as tears started welling up in the corners of my eyes. Never, never had such words of tenderness been said to me, and by Colin Bridgerton of all people- well, this bunny version of him, but who cares. He spoke with such sincerity; I doubt any man has ever spoken to a woman with more genuine warmth and authenticity before. He didn't believe what he was saying to me; he knew it to be true. Now I know this was just my unconscious mind manifesting those exact, tender words to come from his lips- the lips of my forlorn beloved….. And yet the emotion they engendered in me felt so raw and real, like I believed that HE believed what he was saying.
My lips parted but nothing came out; what was I supposed to say to that? How was I to respond to such a declaration? Rabbit Colin didn't wait for me to reply, however. I was even more petrified- and scandalized- when he suddenly scooped me up into both his arms, cradling my face very near his. Still wearing a warm, adoring smile, his eyes locked onto mine, though they were not as wide. I trembled like a leaf while he was as still as a statue. He held onto me tight, and utterly refused to let me fall.
"Please forgive my impetuosity, but we are truly out of time, my darling. I am late for a very important date, and I'm not going back without you." My mouth sputtered as I finally managed to pull some words up from my cotton throat. "B-Back w-where?" I sounded as breathless as I looked. Rabbit Colin chuckled, still cradling me as close to him as possible. It was the first time a man had ever touched me like that before…..
His head began to gradually lower down toward mine. "Don't be afraid, my dear one; nothing bad shall befall you. The fall may be a little frightening, but please remember what is waiting for you….. who is waiting for you down below underground. Please bear it for my sake, and I shall return to you as soon as humanly possible….. sweet Penelope." My heart was beating a mile a minute; if this was a dream, I evidently had no control over its direction. My lips spattered again as my hands instinctively rose up. "B-Bear what? What are you talking about?"
Colin only chuckled again, relaxing his shoulders once more. He didn't respond to my question, instead tilting his head forward ever so slightly. And his smile just then….. His smile. "Just remember, my dearest one…. Always remember." "R-Remember what?" Was all I had time to get out. Before I could say more, rabbit Colin closed his eyes, bringing his lips to meet mine. Our lips touched, reaching each other for the very first time. It was the best, most perfect moment of my life. It's like his mouth was deliberately moulded to fit mine and vice versa. The epidemy of human kindness and love; it's like the first man ever created kissing the first woman on earth. He was I and I was him in that blessed instant, and while it was the most perfect minute of my life, it was also the most tragic- tragic because I knew no one else could ever compare. Truly, I didn't know where he stopped and I began. We merged into one flesh and entity, completely each other so profoundly, so innately that I knew it was over. All other encounters with any other men in the future would pale in comparison to what he offered me here. Heh boy, I had no idea how wrong I was at the time- though, every lips would all feel the same, be the same, and better. They'd all be Colin's lips; this was just my first taste. And what a first taste! Course I couldn't have known that at the time, and so just savoured the embrace for as long as possible.
When Colin's head finally did pull away, his eyes immediately reached back to mine. His arms coiled around my waist like ivy, and he opened his mouth as if he remembered to breathe. Him and I both….. While I laid there absolutely shell-shocked and motionless, he inhaled deeply and tilted his chin downward again. "My Penelope… If you only knew.
I have loved you from the first moment I saw you."
Then, in no show of effort, he suddenly and promptly scooped me up princess-style and began carrying me as he walked. Before my brain could comprehend what was going on or what he was doing, rabbit Colin proceeded to throw me into this massive hole in the ground that seemingly came out of nowhere. And I began to gentle fall, not being so powerfully overtaken by gravity, as he watched me with that same unwavering devotion in those beautiful, beautiful eyes of his.