Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Getting to watch Hermes grow was something that Joel never thought he would enjoy. To be fair, less than one year ago Joel didn't have any plans of seeing any toddler grow. Let alone a toddler that he would call his.

It's crazy how life could change so much in a year.

That little abandoned baby that he found in that moldy cardboard box less than a year ago was now his toddler son that his constant babbling became Joel's background noise. He would actually become scared if he didn't hear his tiny voice making noises. Sometimes, when someone was over at his house to help him take care of Hermes (which was normally either Sausage or Grian) he would forget that Hermes wasn't in the same room as him and he would panic. It happened way more often than he wanted to admit. It happened a lot more often when he was working, because yes, even if he was a villain that would occasionally rob a bank or commit some minor crime in order to earn some easy cash he still had a decent job. It was mainly so he could justify how he earned money, after all he couldn't say to his kid’s coparent (who is a hero, he may add) that he was a villain. He wanted to be able to take care of his baby, thank you very much. 

His job wasn't anything too spectacular, he was a manager for a couple of bakeries that one of his closest friends had inherited a few years back. He helped her reconstruct the small bakeries and helped her to manage them, now the bakeries were packed with people every time he went into one. It wasn't a big deal being the manager (which was also basically the co-owner of the bakeries) but he just liked to keep it a secret. He was lucky enough that he could work from home most of the time. It was really useful for taking care of a toddler like Hermes. 

He was grateful for the help he had received, he is sure that Hermes wouldn’t be with him if it wasn’t for it. Because sure, he adopted Hermes without a second thought but, in reality, he knows he wouldn’t have been able to take care of a baby. Especially a baby with so many special needs as Hermes. Because honestly, how would he (a simple butterfly hybrid, who for some reason inherited thunder related powers) be able to get a blackstone tub? Or how would he be able to get buckets of lava regularly? He was thankful for the connections that he had. They were what really let Joel take care of Hermes. If he didn't have those connections he would have probably given up already. 

He would try to avoid thinking about this kind of stuff, specifically when he was in his villain costume. After all, it was pretty dumb to be thinking about how a great parent he is while he is robbing a bank or committing small felonies. Sometimes, when he was with Watcher (aka Grian) his mind would drift to memories of Grian giving Hermes a feather to play with, while he was helping him clean the remains of baby food from Hermes' little clothes. It was funny if you stop and think about it, the imposing evil avian villain that was wanted by most districts of the city was as a civilian a sweet uncle that would coo at his nephew every once in a while when he was taking care of him. Press would kill to know how sweet Grian was with Hermes but, luckily for him, the sweetness that his son was treated by Grian would be just a secret that he would keep for himself.

And now his little baby shulker is learning how to speak. 

He still remembers the day Hermes spoke his first word. Sausage was taking care of Hermes while he was “working” (he was doing a small robbery as a part of a distraction for something that he was planning with Grian and maybe other villains if everything worked out) when he got a couple of frantic text messages from Sausage that where from “JOEL WHERE ARWE YOU” to directly gibberish like “HEMRES JSUT SAJY POAWPIDKJ”. Yes, he didn’t understand any of them, but the text mentioned Hermes so it picked a little of his interest. Then Sausage sent him a video that actually ended up picking his interest. 

“Hey Hermes baby open up” Sausage said as he tried to feed Hermes with baby food. 

“Just like that” Hermes opened his little mouth, “there we go, thank you mi niño. Can you say niño? Niño, just like that, niño”.

“Niño,” the tiny voice of Hermes said very poorly, (it honestly sounded like a weird babble but every baby speaks like that). 

“Niño, you said niño! Ay my beautiful nene! You can and will speak Spanish, mi nene precioso, cosa hermosa, my little bilingual boy!”

The camera was flipped to show Sausage's face. 

“You heard that Joel? Hermes said his first word and it was in spanish! I will teach him how to speak Spanish and Hermes would be a little bilingual baby!”

While he was trying to actually think why Sausage decided to record that specific moment (maybe he had tons of videos of him taking care of Hermes, he may need to ask him). He was actually focusing on the reason why Sausage sent the video in the first place. It was, as completely platonic co parents he may clarify, their baby's first word. 

And it was in spanish.

That was the time that Hermes said his first word. He may not have been present that time, but he was making sure to be present for actually teaching the kid how to speak (and Sausage was really into his mission of making Hermes a bilingual kid, not that he is complaining). The fact that Sausage had experience being a daycare worker was helping them a lot with Hermes, Joel knows that he wouldn't be able to take that good care of Hermes if he was doing it alone. 

He was trying hard to not think about the fact that he wasn't present for one of Hermes' big moments. He could bury himself in doubt and pity, thinking how poorly he was taking care of Hermes, how he was barely present in his daily life. He could think about the fact that Sausage was a better father than he could ever be (of course he would be, after all he worked at a daycare), he could even wonder if adopting Hermes was a good idea. But that wouldn't be fair to Hermes nor to him, he was making the best he could (except quitting being a villain of course) and Hermes was just a poor baby that was abandoned and everyone around him was trying to help with anything the little Shulker kid needed because yes, getting everything that a Shulker needed in the Overworld was kinda hard. 

He didn't like to stop and think about it, he was doing his best and that was okay. He would be a great father, he was a great father. He could say that with where he currently was, sat on his bed with a little babbling Hermes in his lap. The little baby looked at him while his fingers moved as if he was trying to tell Joel something.

It was nice

Chapter Text

That day that he dropped him off at the kindergarten there were no problems. There was no crying, no grabby hands with a sad face, no pouting. There was nothing like that.

But the days and even weeks before that? That was pure and utterly chaos. You may not be able to imagine how much paperwork is required to enroll at any school a kid that is fostered by two parents who are involved just in a platonic way, and it's way harder if the kid doesn't seem to share the hybrid status with any of their parents. It is understandable really, there were still many reports of newborn hybrids stolen from hospitals that were never solved. There was still a lot of discrimination against hybrids so one day the government didn't really care and decided to close a lot of cases. 

Hermes could be the baby that a family was still mourning and, if that was the case, he would be more than happy to contact the family and talk about custody. He would talk about custody, because yes he was not gonna lie. He did not want to give Hermes away, even if his family appeared, he was allowed to be selfish. He took care of Hermes since he was a baby. 

It took a while until he could stop thinking about it. 

There were no reports of shulker hybrid babies stolen that would match with Hermes age. Which was a relief for Joel, even if he didn't want to admit it. Sure, he could say a lot of things, but admitting feelings out loud of love for this kid was another thing. 

So, now knowing that Hermes had no family to go to, he could actually complete the whole adoption process with the help of nepotism and hero privileges, thanks Sausage. The adoption paperwork only took a week to be completed, then there was the whole interview and that took two more weeks. Yes, Sausage had been able to speed up the process, but he was still a victim of the bureaucracy of child care organizations. Not that they care, honestly they would be extremely worried if the process just magically became a breeze after telling people he was a hero. He could trust the kids were in good hands, at some level. It was also funny to explain to everyone how he wasn't actually legally Hermes' parent yet. Sure, he was legally his caretaker but neither Joel or Sausage were actually Hermes’ parents, until now. The foster process, which had happened about a year ago now, had also been sped up thanks to Sausage's job, but now he could actually call himself one of Hermes’ legal parents.

Then, he needed to make Hermes understand the concept of going to school and having classmates. Hermes was extremely shy sometimes and his instincts tended to act a lot during distress moments. Because, sure, Hermes even after the fact that he is from then End, he still is a hybrid child who has really poor control of his abilities and using them accidentally on another kid outdoors would be a problem. If he can keep himself in the air for a while, who knows how long he could keep another kid flying. Also, those poor teachers don't need to worry about having a student who could literally get angry and make another student fly. Even if he would have Papá Sausage at his kindergarten, because of course Hermes needed to be close to his Papá (don't ask him, those were Sausage's words) and Uncle Grian at elementary school (even if Grian wouldn't be as close since the high school building was another one even if it was technically the same school), is not a plan having multiple teachers complaining about his kid and his lack of control. They may not complain to Sausage, but they would let their mouths free with him since he is not their coworker.

So, he needed to talk to Sausage to start taking him with other kids, like exposure therapy if you want to call it something like that. Taking Hermes to the few classes that Sausage got assigned at the elementary school and even taking him to some of the kindergarten classes. 

Let's just say that the idea didn't work properly.

Sure, he was getting way less shy, however the kids were asking him to make them fly. So it was technically a success? He was getting more confident, but he was still making kids fly which was the main issue that concerned him, however he was only doing it for the kids who asked it so they considered it a win. Honestly it's not that they had other options. The school year was about to start so they would send him and hope for the best.