Chapter Text
Nanami awoke to the sound of a shrill cry coming from the bedroom next to his. He shook his head to clear away the dreams and rolled himself out of the nest of his blankets. He padded across the cool carpeting and made his way into the smaller room, squinting his eyes slightly at the intrusion of the pale purple lighting that bounced off of the walls. He reached the far corner, the source of the distress, and leaned his upper body over the black wooden frame of the crib. His hands lifted the tiny baby girl and cradled her softly against his chest.
“Sshhh. Hush, baby, aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” His voice came out groggier than he expected, deeper than it should have been. But then again, nothing happens as expected before the sun rises.
The tiny girl kicked her legs out and wailed, reaching her small hands up to fist the long, loose hair hanging around his shoulders. He cursed himself for not having tried to trim it himself by now, but gritted his teeth and let her pull and yank on the pale strands.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Are you lonely, baby girl?”
Nanami paced back and forth, rubbing the girl’s back strongly with his hand. Her crying began to lessen and she shifted back and forth in his arms, her mouth opening and closing aimlessly as her pale blue eyes tried to focus in the dim light. Nanami smiled to himself and sat gently down in the gliding chair that sat opposite the room’s door. He grabbed a pillow from the floor and propped his arm up, allowing himself to rest the tiny girl comfortably without his tired muscles giving up. She made small babbling noises and the occasional squeak as he settled himself in, gliding the chair back and forth in a soothing motion that threatened to rock him to sleep.
As his consciousness began to slip away, he was pulled back to reality with a loud squeal that made his eardrums burn.
“Oh no no no, it’s okay sweetheart! I’m here, I’m here!” He sat upright and pulled the baby closer to his body, cooing to her softly and looking down upon her face. Her features were chubby and flushed, her eyes such a pale blue that he could hardly believe it. He ran a calloused hand over her pale, silvery hair, never used to how soft it really was. She made her funny awkward smile at him, and his heart clenched.
“Awe, baby. What a nice smile. You smile so pretty, I love it when you smile for me. Do you like my smile too, baby?” Nanami smiled warmly at her, his teeth showing as her tiny hand gripped his finger tightly. Such delicate, little fingers for a tiny baby. They were long, longer than the few other children he had known before her birth.
“You’ve got such a good strong grip!” He wriggled his finger, eliciting a happy giggle from the little girl as she tried to shove the big finger into her wide open mouth.
Her giggle made his heart skip a beat. So familiar, bringing back memories like a tidal wave that smacked his heart into the back of his torso. He held her close as she suckled, his rocking growing slower as he felt a well of emotion build up in his chest. He looked down at the baby, amazed at how much his life had changed in the past few months.
“I love it when you laugh. You sound so much like your mommy.” Nanami tore his eyes from the tiny child and focused on the large framed picture of a memory hanging over the baby’s crib. An apparition of day they had first welcomed the little girl into the world. She was wrapped in a small, white blanket, in the arms of a beautiful man dressed all in dark navy and black. Tears graced his cheeks, which were mirrored on Nanami’s face now.
“Oh my god, Mahito. I wish you could see her now. See how beautiful she is. She’s... she’s so much like you.”
Nanami looked back to the baby, happy to see her sucking on his fingertip and sleeping peacefully. He rocked her for a long time, feeling the peace and silence of the warm room all around him. He was exhausted, wanting to feel the comfort of his bed and his blankets closing around him. Yet he remained. He felt safe in this room; he felt needed and necessary. The tiny life in his arms reminded him, day in and and day out, of his purpose now. There was nothing before her, and there would be nothing else after.
He thought back to day of her birth. That glourious, wonderful, beautiful, terrible day. Full of love, terror, happiness, sadness and pain that he knew he would never, never forget.
No one ever would.