Work Text:
“This is such a bother,” Oikawa whined after sitting on the top of Kuroo’s desk.
“What?” Kuroo asked, not even looking at Oikawa, as he was finishing his last task before he could take his lunch break.
“That construction site across the street. It’s noisy, you can even hear it in our office.”
“Ah, yeah, I have to agree,” Kuroo put his signature on the last document and then stretched.
“And it’s so dusty when you go outside! My beautiful skin can’t stand such an environment!” Oikawa pretended to faint.
“Be careful since your pretty face is your only good asset,” Kuroo shrugged and then smirked.
“Tetsu, please!”
“Don’t be such a diva. And what, maybe you’re just envious of them? Like you know, they don’t sit behind their desks the whole day and don’t have to suck up to shitty and picky clients,” he wanted to taunt Oikawa some more but his true feelings came out.
“No…” Oikawa said in surprisingly quiet voice, getting Kuroo’s attention. “I think it’s more about all the back muscles and… Oh my… Fuck, Tetsu, do you see these arms?!” he suddenly exclaimed, his eyes shining brightly.
“I’m more into these legs... I’m calling the dibs on the shorter one, Oikawa!”
“Good call because I wouldn’t let you have the other one!” Oikawa puffed his cheeks.
*
“You two are staring again,” Tsukishima commented and placed a stash of documents on Kuroo’s desk.
“Us?” Oikawa started, not even glancing away from the construction site across the street.
“Staring?” Kuroo added, his eyes similarly glued to one of the workers.
“No, me,” Tsukishima grumbled quietly and rolled his eyes. “I have a buss-”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto run towards them, interrupting Tsukishima. “Oh, you’re here too?”
“And in a hurry,” Tsukishima was getting more and more irritated. “Here, Kuroo-san,” he slammed his hand onto the stash of papers he brought with himself.
“What? I’m on a break right now. Tsukki, you should relax some.”
“Thanks to you, I can’t. Your most favourite and precious client changed their mind again.”
“What?!” Kuroo finally turned towards him, straightening in his seat.
“I’d like you to tell me. We have enough work with people taking holiday leaves and now even this,” he sighed heavily. “I’m tired.”
“Then why are you even here? I mean, personally?” Oikawa asked, also turning his attention to Tsukishima.
“Because Hinata went for a holiday trip with his idiot of a boyfriend and I don’t have the slightest idea who’s working in his stead. So it’s faster for me to come myself than frantically search for an unknown office boy. And I think I needed to move around a bit anyway…” he sighed heavily again, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Let’s go drinking then!” Bokuto exclaimed cheerfully. “We’ve seriously been busy lately so it would be nice to have some fun!”
“Hey, aren’t you actually in the middle of getting some difficult contract?” Kuroo squinted his eyes at Bokuto.
“Eh? Ah…” he laughed nervously.
“Is Bokuto-san here?!”
“Shit, hide me,” Bokuto ducked under Kuroo’s desk.
“Oh, why are you searching for our dearest Bo-chan?” Oikawa asked in the sweetest voice.
“His team is having some serious troubles and they need his help. As soon as possible,” a tall guy in an office boy uniform came towards them. “And I’ve been searching for him for twenty minutes already,” he sighed, his freckled face full of worry.
“Bokuto likes to… lie low from time to time,” Kuroo said with straight face, causing Oikawa to laugh. “But maybe if you’d have some special message for him he would pop up out of thin air?”
“Ah? Um… Actually I was told to tell him that ‘Akaashi would cancel their dinner if he won’t get to work immediately’. But how would that-” he jumped back in surprise and bumped into Tsukishima when Bokuto sprang up from below Kuroo’s desk.
“I’m gonna take care of every single problem! I’m gonna slay them all!”
“Bokuto, wait! You asshole, what dinner?! How can you get a date before me?!” Kuroo shouted after him.
“Because you’re just a lame coward! It’s my win this time!” Bokuto stuck his tongue out and then run to his office.
“It seriously worked,” the office boy whispered to himself. “Ah, I’m sorry for bumping into you,” he bowed and apologised to Tsukishima with sheepish smile and then followed Bokuto.
“Who’s staring now?” Kuroo asked Tsukishima with a smirk, when he noticed him looking at the freckled guy.
“I’m not,” Tsukishima grumbled in response.
“Yeah, right. Anyway, that was the new guy. The one you didn’t have the time to search for. Isn’t Yama-chan cute?” Oikawa winked at Tsukishima and then turned towards the window. “Tetsu, look, they’re here again!” he grabbed Kuroo’s shoulder.
“I wanna go home…” Tsukishima sighed.
*
Next day, Kuroo was absentmindedly tapping his desk with a pen. He finished his work and was looking outside, observing construction workers from across the street. Today he was alone, Oikawa called in sick in the morning. It seemed weird for Kuroo, as Oikawa was in extremely high spirits the day before.
“Maybe too high? He was too excited and a fever hit him?” he muttered to himself. “Oh well, and they say that idiots don’t catch colds. And in the midst of a summer too,” he laughed. “Ok, I’m gonna get him a ‘get-well gift’,” he got up, getting ready to leave the office. “And I’m not doing that because I have any ulterior motives!” he said to Oikawa’s empty desk.
*
“Ok, Tetsurou, don’t be nervous, why the hell are you nervous, you are such a smooth charmer with sturdy iron in your name!” Kuroo muttered under his breath. “Sturdy as these thighs,” he whined quietly after spotting the worker he was pinning after. He flinched when the guy looked his way but composed himself immediately:
“Hello there, can I have a minute?” he smiled.
“Yes?” the guy had a really pleasant voice. Kuroo would do a lot to hear him call his name.
“My name is Kuroo Tetsurou and I came here on behalf of my shy friend,” he was sure that his cover was perfect.
“I’m Sawamura Daichi,” Kuroo almost jumped with joy with the answer he got. And Daichi looked rather amused.
“Nice to meet you, Sawamura-san. So my dear friend is a very shy guy. And even though we bicker a lot I like him and want to help him. You know, one of your co-workers caught his eye but, as I’ve said before, he’s very shy and is afraid to chat him up himself. So I wanted to maybe get his number for him or something. Especially while he got sick today. That should lift his spirits a bit. It’s kind of boring when the desk next to mine is empty,” Kuroo flashed his best, charming smile.
“Is your friend maybe called Oikawa?” Daichi asked and smirked. The question caught Kuroo off guard but he still nodded his head. “I think that you should know that he came by yesterday and talked with Haji-, I mean, Iwaizumi. Weirdly, his purpose was almost identical. He also has a very shy friend. But he was asking for my number. Do you happen to know anything about it?” Daichi’s smirk softened, when he noticed how embarrassed Kuroo looked.
Just moment before Kuroo turned on his heel, ashamed, he was stopped by a little shy:
“Kuroo-san, do you have a pen?”
“Uh… yeah,” Kuroo answered almost automatically and gave Daichi the pen he always has in his suit’s jacket. He almost combusted when Daichi grabbed his hand and wrote something on it.
“The first one is mine and the second is Hajime- I mean Iwaizumi’s. Oikawa-san needs to step up his game and you need to stop staring. It’s distracting and everyone has already noticed it,” Daichi said with soft smile and light blush across his face. “And also, I don’t think that Oikawa-san is exactly sick,” he smirked and Kuroo almost swooned because of how sexy he looked.
*
“Oi, Oikawa, you loser, open up, I have something for you!” Kuroo banged on Oikawa’s door, when he didn’t open, even though Kuroo rang the bell few times.
“But don’t laugh at me,” Oikawa said quietly from inside.
“I’m gonna laugh if it’s funny,” Kuroo stated firmly.
“Fuck you, Tetsu,” Oikawa grumbled when Kuroo burst out in the loudest laugh ever after seeing Oikawa’s face.
“Now I know what Sawamura meant by ‘he’s not exactly sick’.”
“Don’t laugh at me! It hurts and it’s swollen and my beautiful face is ruined! And who the hell is Sawamura?” Oikawa eyed him warily.
“Bow to me,” Kuroo said all serious, holding his scribbled over hand out.
“No way! How?!”
“The very same way you did,” Kuroo shot Oikawa a sharp glare. “I don’t know if it’s good or bad that we both came up with the same idea. But what’s important is that it worked. And now you owe me one!”
“Tetsu, you’re such a good friend!”
“But get it into your well-groomed head that I am not shy!”
*
“You. Two. Are. Terrible,” Tsukishima stomped towards Kuroo’s and Oikawa’s desks.
“What happened, our dearest, lovely kouhai?” Oikawa fluttered his eyelashes at him.
“Could you kindly stop with this bullshit?” Tsukishima placed a dozen of crumpled notes on the desk.
“What’s this?” Bokuto popped up from behind Kuroo and grabbed a note. “Smile at him?” he looked up, confused, and tried another one. “Ask about his day?”
“Bokuto-san, please, don’t. At least you,” Tsukishima’s voice was strained.
“What’s this? Dating advices?”
“Why do I even bother talking to any of you?”
“Because you love us all,” Kuroo said it as if it was the most obvious truth in the whole universe. “And we love you too. So we wanna help with your actual love life.”
“Eh?!” Bokuto gaped. “Our little Tsukki is in love?”
“I’d like to mention that I am the tallest one here,” Tsukishima refuted, ignoring the main part of the question.
“And because you say such things you’re the little one,” Kuroo bit back.
“And, as I’ve said before, you’re our dearest but not so cute kouhai,” Oikawa added.
“I don’t need to be cute. I’m going back. And I’m gonna fill a complain if you won’t stop. You’re involving innocent bystanders in your stupid prank.”
“Oh, it’s Yamaguchi!” Bokuto, being his oblivious self, shouted and waved his hand at him. Kuroo and Oikawa smirked dangerously while Tsukishima stiffened completely.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Bokuto-san, but I’m just starting my lunch break. Well, I can go on a quick errand if it’s something important but I’m really hungry…” Yamaguchi apologised meekly while tilting his head to the side.
“Oh, that’s great, actually!” Oikawa started.
“We’d love for you to do us a little favour then,” Kuroo added.
“Yes?”
“If you’re going for a lunch then take our little Tsukki with you.”
“Kuroo-san!” Tsukishima hissed.
“Poor boy is such a workaholic that he won’t even take a proper break. So someone needs to watch over him or he collapses! But we’re all so busy here!” Oikawa sounded like the most loving and worried mother.
“Busy with ogling the guys from across the street?” Tsukishima hissed again.
“Ah…” Yamaguchi was flustered. “If… if it’s ok with Tsukki-kun then no problem, we can eat together.”
“Oh my, I just… Tsukki-kun! That’s so adorable!” Oikawa exclaimed while Bokuto and Kuroo laughed.
“I’m sorry?” Yamaguchi looked panicked and it only made them laugh harder.
“Don’t pay them any attention,” Tsukishima grabbed Yamaguchi’s hand and pulled him out of the room, ignoring the three of them.
*
“Oh, Tsukishima-kun, it’s nice to see you,” Ennoshita greeted him when Tsukishima came inside his restaurant on Saturday evening.
“Yeah, good evening,” he bowed his head.
“I shouldn’t say that to a customer but I think that you should either go home or somewhere else today,” Ennoshita whispered.
“Eh?”
“There are three particular… dates happening right now and I’m sure that you don’t want to get involved with any of them. I think that you might be already aware of what’s going on but… Bokuto-san is being his usual loud and lovestruck self, Kuroo-san is making complete idiot out of himself and it’s quite a sight actually while Oikawa-san is trying to woo rather violent individual and failing at it completely,” Ennoshita’s face was rather blank but Tsukishima knew that he had the time of his life with the show that was unfolding.
“Yeah, I definitely don’t want to be a part of this farce. Thank you for informing me about this. We will go somewhere else today,” Tsukishima bowed his head slightly again.
“Oh, ‘we’?” Ennoshita smiled warmly when Yamaguchi appeared from behind Tsukishima and bowed his head. “Yeah, you definitely don’t want to eat here today then. It might turn into another fight when they spot you. Kuroo-san was here before Bokuto-san and when Bokuto-san saw him, they started to fight over who won with getting the date first.”
“Ah, yeah, because Bokuto-san managed to ask Akaashi-san first. So he thought he won. And now, I guess, Kuroo-san is being petty when it comes to the actual date. Seeing as he came here earlier.”
“Sometimes they remind me of little children,” Yamaguchi joined them and laughed quietly.
“Sometimes,” Tsukishima echoed and snorted. “Anyway, if we talk about dates, then what about you, Ennoshita-san?”
“Eh? Me? Oh my, Tsukishima-kun, what a timing you have. No date yet but I confessed and even snatched myself a kiss. Now Ryuu’s hiding in the kitchen and avoiding me but I’m sure he’s just shy. And I’ve heard Nishinoya telling him to be a man and confront his own feelings, so… it’s all good I guess.”
“Yeah, all good. For everyone.”