Work Text:
Ahhhhh fuck this gay shit fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Gyatt gyatt gyatt gyat gyatt… Gyat gyat gyat gyat gyat.. Geeeyaachttttt…..Guh guh guh gyaaaaatttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Drag is going over the speed limit 500 miles per hour. Running over cones all crazy and shit. He can't really Stop the car. Or do anything because he doesn't have limbs but like….it's okay. “STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW.” Bacon is freaking out, i personally think they need to take a fucking chill pill/ my god. Stop being such a negative nancy bacon. Stop. Bacon doesn't really want to go back to hell so they like……………grab the wheel and start Swerving the car all over the place. “It's too late, Bacon. It's time to accept fate and run over our next victim. Sacrifices must be made, Bacon. You just do not get it. You don't, ok……”
Bacons like “KILL YOURSELF LIL BRO” Drag starts balling his eyes out. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa “Hey. stop your crying. NOW. or its gonna burn.” “Whatd you just say 😐😐😐😐” “I said ur Fucking babys gonna burn 😂😂” “Go to hell faggot 😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬” In the middle of their drunk crazy driving catastrophe balaspohopy thats a word. Ok. They feel a very huge bump. Like. they totally ran something over which is a bit expected when you're going 500 mph….The thing they ran over mustve been really fucking fat because the car exploded. DrAG GRABS BACON AND gets out of the fucking baby burning car. Anc cube is like “YEEEEOUUUCHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!” Drag is like… “Who is this hot handsome babe….. Get this guy a hospital IMMEDIATELY… CALL THE AMBULANCE….. Bacon. We need to get this hottie to the ER!” You can feel the spice in this fanfic. Gyat 😳.!!!!! Catball walks up to them and is like.. “Wow.. is this yaoi? Im a fujoshi! Woww!!! :3 My cable is waggingg ^w^ I support this wholeheartedly…. Im going to call the Hospital.”
“OUGHHHHHH IUMD YGJGBGNGNGGG GET ME A DOCTOTFR<. OUGUGHUH HHHHHHH 👴👴👴👴👴👴👴👴👴 FUUUCKJCKJK T HIS GAY SHIITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAGHJHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHH EUEHUHUEUHENNHEHNEHNE” Cube starts wiggling around like a stupid fucking Burning Baby and crying because he’s a loser.. Valentine is like. Im a doctor. I went to harvard. :3 Im a lawyer AND a doctor…. I eat chocolate…” And cube is like “NOOOOOOO… NONONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NONO WANAN EAT T HE COHCOLATEEEGET THSIFUCKING CRAZY ASS BITCH AWAY FROM MEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” hes ptsd ‘Hey… Dont say tht TO ME…..” Valentine picks up cube and puts him in the ambulance…. Cube is screaming and crying like.. No No No no no! Everyone! Geeet ooouuuttttttt!!!! HRRGHEAHGHGHGHHHHH” He starts foaming at the mouth like a disgusting Rabid Faggoty Dog.
“Woah. Im so glad thats over with! That guy was soooooo annoying. Not hot at all. Hated him. I hope he dies in the hospital.” Drag is LYINGGGG. Full of lies….. The Lying Liar faggot… “I dont belief you! You lie!!!!” Bacon thinks that drag is a big fat fucking liar. It's true! He is. bacons really really really ugly send kudos if you agree… they go into their burnt up destroyed car and drive home. Bacon drives this time because drag cant touch the gas pedal. Normally he just puts a rock on it and doesn't stop the car when needed. It gets them into a lot of accidents 🤪Soo crazyy!!! Loove himm!!!!! hahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂 Drag is so sillayyyy you sillay billayyyyyyyou silly pwankster you!!! 😭😭😭always up to something!!!! So mischievous! Drag and bacon are coming home….. They're telling the world they're coming home…..
They Burst down the door of this crazy ass establishment…. Th puzzle piece and the takoyaki creature are like…. Hey stop that……. Sttoppppp…… Drag picks up takoyaki and throws them out the window. “Whoops!😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅💦💦💦💦” “Hey.. Why would you do this????” Zicso is so sad. Distraught even. Why would Drag kill one of their teammates like that? Is this drag…….. Evil?.....👿……. “Bacon we need to call an exorcist drag is Evil” and then bacon is like “You cant do that IM literally a demon you dumb fucking idiot.” and then zicso is like oopsie daisy and then drag is like”IM NOT EVIL YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT”Abd zicsos like. “Errrmm..Acksherly…..Yew areee….. Saoooo…” And drag is like “Oh ym goddd whatever im going to go see my hot handsome hubba bubba gay yaoi boyfirned. Ph ym god.” Drag walks floats traverses out of this crazy ass establishment…… “Who is his what what what what Gay yaoi boyfriend?????” this is zicso talking and then Bacon is like “This random ass guy he ran over” And then zisco is like ‘Relatableeeeeeeeee” Billionaire 6’5 brown eyes
Drag gets into the burning car.. “Hope i dont get into a car crash this time you guys! That'd be so whoopsie daisy hope it doesnt happen everyone” It hapopens on the way to the hospital. i t happens. Im rolling!I’M OVULATINGGGG EOUUCGHHHH IM LAYING MY EGGSSS 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤😵😵😵 🥚🥚🥚🥚 nobodys saying this or thatd be weird. yeah u guys. We cant get cancelled.my mom used to feed me dragcube on the toilet holding hands pooping together fanart as a kid but the fanart would make me go crazy and hurt myself and others. Geeeyacht!!! Drag hits Synth Fish and synth fish starts fucking burning bleeding out spitting out all of the contestants and victims theyve ever harmed. Howismyarty from object wonderfulness got reverse shitted out of synth fishes mouth. “Wow theank you foor shaving me.. That guys Insides stamnk like N. The host of object wonderfulness…………He plays fortnite all day and cannot name a woman and refuses too shower. Semicolon tries to make him but he refuses. He stinks so bad that he killed heart lolipop and Chocolate smoothie/.STOOTPPPPPTHATS NOT HER NAMEEEE IMGONAN KILL YOU 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
“I didnt run run over synth fish for a YAPPER. YAP ALERT. STOP YAPPING DWEEB. Drag runs over howismyarty because howismyarty stinks more than N. and he nonstop talks like a nerdy faggy pants. He gets to the hospital. Howismyarty flatlines. He actually drives a hole into the wall of cubes hospital room. “I’M SOORRYYY PEENISSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 UEUEUUEEHEUEUGHHHHH UEWUUWEHEHHHEEHHHHH WUWUEEHHHHHHHH WUEEHHHHHHHEUWEEEHHHHHHHwahh WAHHHHHHHAHHHGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 OIUGHUHHHHHHHH IM SOORRYYYYYYY AAUUAUGUHGHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭” Cube is completely solved (that makes him UGLY) and bleeding out of the block crevicesYou are disgusting and need to be shot and killed btw.SHUT THE RUFCK UPSHUT HTE FLUFF UP!!!! what are they cal;ed…
Cube ism like “Wow…. I forgive you…. You’re the one who visited me this whole time…. I thought my stupid ass teammates would’ve vsited me by now becasue its been 5 minutes…. But you… were the first one to visit me. I DONT want you to pick up your seat and leave whatever i said before I dont have pur conversations memorized but i DO want you to sloppy makeout with me right now” Cube says this and then drag is like “What the hell you gross ass CreaturI mean yes lets sloppy makeout bloody cubeclot” And then they sloppy makeout, making cubes hospital bills rise. Cube cant pay those damn bills so several months later cube needs to gt a lawyer and file a lawsuit to cancel drag and get his money up not his funny up. Riches are better than bitches. Lesson of the day. Team meow is literally like so rich they have a mansion “Wow Cube, you getting raneth over mustve been the most magnificent thing to ever happen to us…” Charm says very enthusiastically and then like cube is lke “I know. Im awesome. No need to thank me fellow gamers…”
I fucking hate this