Chapter Text
“I’ll be your study partner.”
“Huh?”
After the confession courtesy of the leader of the Phantom Thieves, Ren and Makoto were making their way back to the station and the awkward silence between them was somehow even worse now than when she suggested they should start dating. Neither of them had said a single word since they left the secluded bar, and she wondered if they should be holding hands right now.
She looked at her new boyfriend, not surprised that he wore the same calm expression he always had during their times together or during meetings with the other Phantom Thieves. She’d have to ask him later how he always be so calm during so many moments in the world. Especially during near-death experiences.
They reached the station, and she wished that the walk lasted a bit longer. His presence gave her a fluttering warmth within her, and she felt like she could be Makoto Niijima when he was around.
They stood side by side, waiting for the train that would separate them for the rest of the day.
“Hey…” She faced him. “Sorry if this comes out of nowhere, but why me?”
He tilted his head, clearly confused by her question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” She paused for a moment, wanting to choose her words carefully. “Why did you choose me? Out of every girl you know? Why me?”
“Makoto… I”
“Let me finish. As you know, we didn’t exactly meet on the best terms. I blackmailed you, basically threatened you and everyone else with expulsion, stalked you for days, invaded your privacy by recording your conversations, and got you into debt with a mob boss. All for a letter of recommendation…”
“Makoto…”
“I sometimes come across as bossy and dense, some of the student body spread rumors about me at school, and before I joined the Phantom Thieves, the only thoughts in my mind were my studies and living up to my sister’s expectations. But you showed me that there is more to life than just a notebook and a textbook. I learned to have fun again. Because of you. I found people where I felt like I belonged, I felt like I was doing something useful for others. And it’s all because of you. The past few months with you have been some of the best I have experienced in years and I’m afraid that once you go back home, we’ll separate. Now that we’re together. I’m terrified at the thought of losing this connection that feels so precious.”
“…”
“I like you. More than I ever thought possible. And I want to be with you. And I don’t want to lose something precious after I lost my father… I felt it was impossible for me to feel these things again after I lost him, but after I spent more time with you, it’s not impossible anymore.”
“…”
“…But… I need to know, why all of my faults… why me?”
As she finished her small speech, her ruby eyes met his grey ones, as if drawn to him. And so, he called out to her yearningly.
“Makoto…”
They had both overcome certain deaths and survived. They spent time with each other and got to know one another for the past few months. They trusted each other completely.
“When I leave Tokyo, there’s no doubt in my mind that we won’t drift apart.”
“…How can you be certain…?
“I just know we won’t. And I will come back. I promise you. Once I do, we’ll make sure to achieve our dreams together. I won’t give up until we do.”
His gaze bore an earnestness Makoto had never seen from Ren before. She was enraptured. The anxiety and fear swirling in her mind had all faded away like a bad dream.
If you say so, I’m sure it’ll happen. No matter how difficult it seems, I’m sure we’ll be together for the rest of the way.
That feeling sprang forth from the bottom of her heart. Same as how the stars twinkled at night and how the flowers bloomed in springtime. Like nature. She could believe him without a trace of doubt.
And she naturally took a deep breath. She raised both hands without realizing it, clasping them before her chest. Some words were threatening to come out of her mouth, but she didn’t want to hold them back. She wanted to say them right now.
I love you.
When you come back. I want to be with you every step you take from that point onward. I want to broaden my horizons more. I want it to be with you. I want us to broaden our horizons together. Next year, I want us to do it together. As many times as we can if possible.
But as she was about to say those…
“-Makoto.”
The sound of his call, the tone of his voice, made her hold her tongue. She swallowed nervously, holding her breath in anticipation. Whatever he was going to say, she felt it was going to be special. She could tell.
“I… I’m glad I met you.”
His voice was full of emotion. He didn’t know the name of these feelings, so he simply tried to put them into words. But it didn’t feel like it was enough, and all the terms in existence probably couldn’t describe the way he felt. The only way he could express himself was through words, and the options felt vexingly insignificant.
“When I first came to Tokyo, I thought my life was over. I was put in an unfair position as those in power took advantage of their position to make my life a living hell… I came to Tokyo without a future to hope or wish for, and I was ready to give up. I thought I saw the world as cruel and dark, with no hope for the good to triumph. So when me, Ryuji, Mona, and Ann formed the Phantom Thieves, I saw a chance to change society and get back at the people who ruined my life. I wanted to humiliate every police officer in my sight and take down their shadows until they begged for forgiveness. I was ready to hate any person on the side of the law. So when you came along- student council president, daughter of the police commissioner, and the younger sister of a criminal prosecutor- I was reluctant to help you in the first place. But then I saw how beautiful and strong you looked when you first awakened Johanna. How effective you are as a team member, and as a strategist. How quickly you reacted whenever we got into tough situations, how determined you were to help those in need. As I got to spend more time with you, I got to know you better and understand your struggles. Your stories about your father and how you looked up to him. It made me realize that maybe there is hope for the future I there are more people like you and your father. You’ve also helped me during difficult times as well. You gave me the strength to get back up during my moments of weakness. You gave me comfort and cared for me after that fateful day. You made me feel like I belonged with someone. Like I knew what I wanted to do for my future. Your being with me has given me hope to move forward. That I should believe. I’m where I am at this moment, because of you.”
Makoto felt tears building up in her eyes.
Yes, Yes, Ren. I feel the same way. I’m only here because I met you. By holding on to you, I learned how could and malicious this world really is. I realized how much of an ugly person I was. And it was because I could stand with the Phantom Thieves, that I realized who I want to be with.
It’s because you were there that I could stop being a person whose life was defined by rules, set on a path of someone else’s choosing.
You made me who I am today. It was your presence, actions, and words that breathed life into the part of me that I cherish today. And so, you… The one who changed. The one who gave me life. I…
“I love you.”
The fact that he could finally say those words clearly filled Ren with relief. The words that consumed his every waking thought. If he hadn’t mustered the courage to say them after his speech, then the words would lose all meaning.
She had saved him so many times from himself… and he didn’t know if his feelings would be enough to repay her. He didn’t know how she would respond. The thought made his mind go dark… but he poured his heart out.
“I want to see things we’ve never seen before. I want to enjoy the same sights as you.”
In other words…
“I want to remain by your side. I want to be with you. Forever… if possible.”
Makoto simply stood there; her ruby eyes open wide, unable to utter a single word. Her mind was blank.
I feel that way, too. I always want to be with you. Until your final destination. No matter where you end up, that will be my final destination, too. And I don’t mean I’ll carry your name and memories if you die. I don’t mean taking your heart and memories with me.
I want us to be together. To live on together.
His words made her happy. Because she really felt loved after such a long time.
She was happy because she also felt the same way.
I have to respond to him. I have to answer him. I have to answer him.
That singular emotion spurred her forward, faster than the speed of light, sooner than she could gather her thoughts. Her body moved forward. Because words would be too slow. Words wouldn’t be enough. Word wouldn’t even convey a tenth of her emotions.
The distance between them was less than a single step, and the gap closed in an instant.
Ren’s eyes widened in surprise. Makoto snaked her arms around his shoulders- not daring him to let him escape- and stretched upwards. The height difference was about half a head, but Makoto had to stand on her toes to cover most of it. His lips were now more closer than before. And so she drew closer to him, and…
…they shared their first kiss.