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She couldn’t believe that she was doing this, again.
Bronze fingers were around her waist, confident, commanding, pulling her in.
She had told herself that it wasn’t her fault.
Her boyfriend of many years, she loved him, and he stood only meters away, separated by a lone wall.
She looked up into blue eyes that held so much hurt behind them.
She had told herself that it was an accident, that the last time, was the last time.
Soft lips pressed themselves to hers and she fell into the emotion they both felt.
Her back hit the wall as the tall waterbender removed any distance that remained.
The kisses were searing, and when their tongues met, she could taste the saltiness from the tears that hadn’t been wiped away in time.
They pulled apart for just a moment, hot breaths mixing.
Her throat was dry. “How can I say this without breaking?”
Kya felt the younger woman’s hand on her face and clasped it into her own. “Don’t, not tonight.”
Lin allowed herself to be pulled into the direction of the women’s dorms, ignoring the voice of her boyfriend calling her name.
Lin had always been the one in charge when put in these situations, but when it came to Kya, there wasn’t anything to do but give into the waterbender.
Her back hit the hard mattress, softened by a light smile from the woman above.
Lips kissed the top of her cheek bone, her jaw, her neck.
The sash that held her dress closed was removed, exposing her skin to the cool air in the room, but quickly warmed by the soft body lying atop her between parted legs.
Sweat formed, backs arched, fingers gripped into tired muscles and moans stifled.
This is what they wanted and they allowed themselves to fall over the edge together, to be lost in each other, until clarity hit moments later.
Lin buried her face into the crook of Kya’s neck and cried softly. “How can I put it down into words, when it’s almost too much for my soul alone?”
Kya, understanding what the metalbender was trying to convey, having had this conversation before, so she simply stroked the soft black hair tickling her bare chest. “Lin, you know that I loved and I loved and I lost you, and it hurts like hell, but this is the nature of us.”
Kya and Lin froze at the sound of voices calling their names. The voices were far, but they knew it was only a matter of time before people drew near.
“Kya,” green eyes brimmed with water, “I don’t want them to know the secrets. I don’t want them to know the way I loved you. I don’t think they’d understand it, no I don’t think they would accept me.” She shook her head. “No.”
They had this talk before. The one where Kya tells the woman she loves to not care what anyone else thinks, that they can finally be happy, but it was a lost battle fought many years ago. “They won’t.” Resigning herself to this being the end of their encounter, Kya helped Lin to her feet and they got dressed back into their formal wear, and with facades back in place, rejoined the wake.
---
They had fought a battle and won.
They won and yet, a piece of her lost.
Her dreams once fought with men in alleys, then with men in masks, then with men and anarchy and now, her dreams fight with machines, inside her head like adversaries and nothing could wrestle her free.
Feet padded down quiet halls until they finally reached their destination outside, under the balcony that overlooked Republic City, brightened by a portal that represented the dawn of a new era.
Lin didn’t know why, but she wanted to cry. After everything over the years, this is what was going to break her. She had fought many battles and when she tallied them up, it felt like she had been fighting a war that would never end.
“Hey.”
Lin would have jumped, if her bare feet hadn’t told her that she wasn’t the only person awake at this hour. “Hey.” Lin responded, not turning towards the familiar voice.
Bronze arms folded themselves atop the railing. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
“I don’t sleep much these days.”
It was just, them.
“Nightmares?”
“Something like that.”
“Lin, it’s just me.”
Lin’s body began to shake with the breaking of her emotional dam.
Bronze fingers were around her, strong, confident, pulling her in. “I’ve got you, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”
“I’ll never be clean from this war.” Lin said through gritted teeth.
“Shhh.”
Lin allowed herself to be pulled towards the women’s dorms, but this time, there were no voices calling her name.
The room was softly lit with candles, a window was open that offered a perfect view of where they were standing only moments earlier and they fell onto the soft mattress together.
Kya simply held the smaller woman close and whispered sweet words of comfort while tears continued to fall.
“Kya.” Lin eventually started once the tears had stopped falling.
“Mmm.” Kya hummed while stroking the metalbender’s back.
“I don’t want them to know the secrets, I don’t want them to know the way I loved you, I don’t think they’d understand it, no, but I think they would accept me.”
Kya pulled back slightly, with brows furrowed, unsure if the woman in her arms was serious.
“Your heart fits like a key into a lock on the wall, and I turn it over and over, but I can’t escape, no matter how much I try. Kya, I know, I know that I loved and I loved and I lost you, but, I can’t live without you, it hurts too much, and I need it to stop hurting.”
Kya pressed her lips to Lin’s forehead. “I need it to stop hurting too.”
Lin’s eyes fluttered closed, her dreams no longer fought with machines.