Work Text:
“Just ask him out! It’s that simple!” Anko said.
Her voice was strained, as the same conversation had been going on for a good ten minutes. The bar around them was lively and no one paid attention to their argument.
“I don’t want to make a fool of myself! I can’t just ask something like that out of the blue! He probably doesn’t even like guys!” Kakashi insisted. “But I just told y-” Genma tried, but Kakashi cut him short.
”Just because he has long hair doesn’t mean he likes guys! That’s a weird stereotype you have there, Genma,” Kakashi sighed and shook his head with a frown.
“I literally didn’t say anything like that”, Genma pouted on the other side of the bar table.
“Yeah, whatever, but you just can’t know,” Kakashi said, sounding defeated. He twirled his beer bottle and sighed.
“He likes guys, I’m telling you. He turned me down. Multiple times,” Anko tried and gestured her body, but Kakashi just waved his hand.
“I turned you down, Anko,” he said, as if that proved everything.
“Yeah, you did, and Kakashi, you’re super gay,” Anko pointed out, exasperated.
“I haven’t turned you down,” Genma said to Anko and leaned closer to her over the small table.
“Later, Genma,” Anko said and swatted him away.
“Kakashi, we’re trying to tell y–” Anko tried.
“There’s just no way of knowing,” Kakashi sighed, not listening to her reasoning.
“Dammit, Kakashi, just listen to us,” Genma said, irritated.
“You don’t know him, you just assume,” Kakashi said, once again ignoring anything that was said to him.
Anko buried her face into her hands.
“Kakashi,” Genma said and hit his fist on the table to get Kakashi’s attention, “I’m telling you, he likes guys. I have literally been on a date with him. I have had a date with Iruka.”
Silence fell around the table. Kakashi gaped, that much was evident even with his mask. Anko’s eyes widened with this new piece of information.
“It was a year ago,” Genma added quickly when the words hit Kakashi and he started to look jealous, “And it was just a one date, and nothing, umm, more happened.”
“And may I point out, before you start killing each other,” Anko said quickly, “That tonight Iruka has a date with Kakashi. A date which Iruka proposed and by some ungodly miracle Kakashi managed to say yes. So calm down you two.”
“It’s not a date,” Kakashi sighed sadly and slumped in his chair once more.
Anko fought the urge to slap him. It was so hard she had to hold her wrist to prevent the hand from smacking Kakashi.
“Kakashi. Think about it. He asked you for drinks. Just you,” Anko said, trying very desperately to keep her voice calm.
“Plenty of people have drinks on Friday,” Kakashi said, “You’re here to have drinks, and you’re not on a date.”
“Well, actually–” Genma started, but Kakashi wasn’t listening so he shut his mouth.
Anko slouched on her chair, completely defeated. Genma raised his voice to get through to Kakashi.
“He flirts with you every fucking time you turn in one of those hideous reports. I mean, he flirts with you despite the hideous reports,” Genma said.
“Iruka doesn’t flirt with me,” Kakashi insisted and crossed his arms.
“Just last week I heard him say your hair looks nice. Either he was mocking you or flirting, and Iruka never mocks anyone”, Genma continued with a glare.
“He just wanted to know what shampoo I use. I bet he uses a lot with that hair,” Kakashi said and closed his eye, resolute in his reasoning and probably already dreaming about those luscious locks.
“I can’t take this anymore,” Anko said and threw her hands in the air.
Genma shook his head. Right on cue, Iruka stepped in, scanned the bar and walked to their table. Kakashi uncrossed his arms and sat straight, which made Genma roll his eyes.
“Hi Iruka,” Anko said cheerily, “Thank gods you’re here.”
“Oh– okay. Why?” Iruka said and instantly looked suspicious.
First, because of the fact that Anko and Genma seemed to be intruding on their date, and second, because Anko’s face didn’t promise anything good. She was forcefully cheerful and trying just a bit too hard which was never a good sign.
“Tell me, when you saw me and Genma here, was your first thought something along the lines of ‘Beat it Anko, you’re ruining my date’?” Anko smiled.
Iruka relaxed and shrugged. That wasn’t a hard question at all.
“Pretty much,” he said and sat down on a free chair, “So please do. Beat it, you two.”
“See?!” Genma hissed at Kakashi not-so-subtly. Kakashi didn’t look at him – he was busy staring at Iruka, who had arrived in casual clothes and hair down. Iruka glanced at them and turned back to Anko, who was talking again.
“We’ll go in a bit. Just one more question. What made you want to go out, on a date, with Kakashi here? Because this is a date, right?” Anko continued and motioned to Kakashi like he was presenting a prize.
Kakashi looked intently at Iruka, who shrugged again, like the situation was completely normal.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah, of course it’s a date. I asked, because he’s nice,” Iruka said and smiled at Kakashi, who just stared at him, dazed.
Anko snorted at his answer.
“Nice. Yeah, sure, that was the reason”, she said with a wink.
“Case fucking closed,” Genma said and got up, “Have a nice date. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Thanks Genma. Although there are some things I might not do, even if you would,” Iruka said. His smile turned mischievous and he winked at Genma.
Kakashi and Anko immediately turned to look at Genma, who was turning beetroot red. As Kakashi squinted, borderlining the earlier jealousy, Genma gave in. He sighed before opening his mouth.
“I accidentally stabbed myself with my own senbon when we were on a date. I was in the hospital for almost a week,” Genma admitted.
Anko threw her head back and laughed so hard the whole bar heard her.
“Come on, let’s leave Iruka and the town himbo alone,” she said when she recovered. She started dragging Genma away.
“I’m serious Iruka. He's as clueless as they come. Do take advantage of that,” she said to Iruka in a low voice as she passed him.
***
Genma and Anko looked at the pair from another table.
“I have no idea how they call that man a genius,” Anko shook her head and sipped her beer.
“Well, we did the best we could,” Genma said, “Do you think Kakashi will recover from this? Like is he even able to talk to him? He might torpedo the whole date.”
Anko chuckled.
“He doesn’t need to talk. Not anything coherent at least. They’ll drink two drinks and then Iruka will drag him home and rail his ass into next week,” Anko smirked.
“No way. Iruka has more class than that. Four drinks at least,” Genma said.
“Deal,” Anko said and offered to shake his hand.
After five minutes they saw Iruka and Kakashi get up and leave.
Anko almost spit her drink.
“Wow, it was one drink.”
Iruka was walking ahead, not sparing them a glance. Kakashi turned to look at Genma and Anko. He gave them an eye smile and thumbs up as he followed Iruka out.
“Gods,” Genma said quietly and shrank in his chair.
“Looks like we both lost. But Kakashi definitely won,” Anko said as they watched the pair walk out.
“Does he even know what’s happening?” Genma asked and Anko shrugged.
“Who knows. But he’ll be sore and happy tomorrow, declaring his undying love for Iruka,” Anko said and sipped her beer again.
“No way. Sore I’ll take, but declaring his love? He doesn’t have it that bad,” Genma said.
Anko looked at him long and hard but Genma didn’t budge. They shook hands.
***
Anko and Genma were hanging out in the common lounge of the jounin apartment complex. Anko was sprawled on the couch with a book and Genma was throwing shurikens on the small target on the wall.
It was almost noon. Kakashi walked in wearing the same clothes as yesterday and slumped on another sofa. He winced just lightly before sighing and going limp.
“I think I’m in love,” he said.
Anko didn’t even raise her eyes from the book, just reached her hand out expectantly as Genma groaned.