Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Firefly was not a lonely child, but she did find herself alone often. She used to wonder if that came with the territory of not having parents, but put an end to that train of thought years ago. If she focused on things she didn’t have, even when she never initially had them, she would never get anything done. To her, that was a simple fact of life. So she focused on herself. Her home was chaotic, with far too many kids and fat too little adults to properly supervise them. Focusing inward was her peace.

She enjoyed stargazing the most. An activity that could be done solely by herself, yet something she rarely got to do. Curfew was always early and much before it got dark, so the stars were only something she got to watch through a window.

Maybe one day, she could have the stars in her grasp.

She would have to learn how to fly first.

School was someplace that she could learn about various things that made her eyes go wide. She recognized it as a building block, where she could stack enough lessons and eventually she’d be able to do anything. Stack enough blocks and she could reach the sky.

She could become a scientist, or maybe an astronaut, what about a singer? She heard that singers got to travel the world and sing to many people. She hadn’t sung before, and when she tried it sounded nothing like what she heard on the radio. Her voice was scratchy and squeaky, not silky and smooth.

One of the caretakers said she’d grow into it, that she was still young. But growing up felt so far away and every single day was so long. Every day she learned something new. What if when she grew up she didn’t want to be a singer anymore? What if she didn’t want to be a scientist? What if she didn’t want to be an astronaut?

What DID she want to be?

Firefly wasn’t quite sure yet.

But maybe she could save that for later.

There was a fire that ran through her veins, ready for it to be poured into something. A passion that had no direction.

She would just have to find it.

Soulmates.

The term is taught to her through books upon books that she devoured. As soon as she was taught to read she took upon literature like it’s an extra serving during dinner, only this was encouraged rather than scolded. They handed her book after book and eventually she stumbled upon it.

What was a soulmate?

She read through the book. Devoured it, studied it and still came back blank.

‘A soulmate was someone who sang to you.’ The book read.

There’s story after story of soulmates. Passage after passage after passage. About how music was the vehicle of the soul and how distance mattered not in the face of love. It spoke of a young girl and a young boy, singing to each other across the distance of a street. Two neighbors that were meant to be. Then it was two people across the country. Then two people across the world.

It wrote that soulmates would stick together through sickness and health. That those who meet were destined to be together.

But still, Firefly wondered, what was a soulmate?

How did they know they’d be together? How did they know where to meet? How did they know they’d stay together?

She had so many questions, but it was just a little book. In the end she forgot about it when she moved onto the next one.

Elementary school passed quickly. Every day there was something new to learn. Everyday she came back to the radio playing at home.

Music is something that stuck with her. The radio was always on at home, singing songs of all sorts. Her favorites were the ones with lyrics but she also loved the ones that were just instruments. The violin especially was one that she liked.

So when she got the opportunity to try them out at school, she didn’t hesitate. She was older now, and more responsible (at least that's what the teachers said), so she had the choice between lots of items.

Firefly tried out the violin first, but it felt awkward. The chin rest was too large, and the bow felt clumsy in her hands. Using each individual finger to press down on the strings required a dexterity that she didn’t quite have yet.

“You’ll grow into it.” The teacher reassured her.

“I hope so.” Firefly said back.

She heard that a lot. The future always felt so far away.

Firefly tried out a few other instruments. The piano, the flute, the drums. Not that one, that’s for sure. It was too loud, too… boomy. The echoes hurt her ears and it felt like she had been punched.

Everything felt awkward, nothing really resonated with her. They were either too quiet, or too loud. The violin didn’t have that, it wasn’t too quiet or too loud, and the vibrations upon her hand when she played a note felt nice.

But it was still awkward.

The teacher said she’d grow into it. Firefly would trust that.

The violin was Firefly’s instrument of choice.

“Firefly?” One of the caretakers called for her.

The girl looked up from her book.

“Dinner’s ready. Let’s gather around.” They said, before moving to gather up another kid.

Instruments are the talk of the school a week after she chose the violin.

“What do you think about the flute? Do you think my soulmate will like it?” One girl asked another.

“I’m sure they will! I chose the piano. My parents wanted me to do it.” The girl replied.

Firefly wasn’t the most social person out there, but she wasn’t asocial either. Listening in on people’s conversations was rude and she didn’t want to make it a habit. ‘Treat people how you want to be treated’ was something that was repeated often at home, but the word soulmate had her hooked.

She remembered reading about it years ago. Sometimes the term occasionally popped up, but Firefly never paid much attention. There was always something else to read. Something else to do or practice. Homework that needed to be done.

“Really? I’ve been singing to them everyday but I haven’t heard them back yet. My dad said he already knew mom when he was my age.”

“My parents didn’t meet until college!”

A soulmate was someone who sang to you. Firefly remembered.

She was pretty sure hadn’t heard her soulmate yet. Did they not know how to sing? Hadn’t she sung to them before or did her squeaky attempts when she was younger not count? What counted as music? What counted as singing?

Questions once again began to arise when she thought about soulmates.

Firefly would try again tonight.

It was difficult to find a way to stay out a bit later, but being older gave her some extra privileges. In celebration of her 13th birthday, which happened a few weeks ago, she could stay out for a bit longer.

The nights were coming earlier and earlier with each passing day, she learned about it in class. When winter came it meant that the days would get shorter and the nights would get longer. Today was apparently the shortest day of the year, which meant that it was already dark out.

If she could stay out for just thirty minutes longer… maybe she could see the stars.

But that wasn’t why she stayed out. She wanted to sing. For her soulmate.

How did it work? Would they just hear her? Would she just hear them? The book said that distance didn’t matter. Music is what mattered. Intent is what was felt.

Firefly took a deep breath and-

Hmm. Hmmmmm. Hmm hmmmm.

Stopped as she heard humming.

It was… odd. It felt so relaxing, peaceful, and wonderful. She turned her head left and right, looking to see if anyone was around, but it was just her lonesome.

She could still hear it though, humming and musing to her. Like it was meant for her and her alone.

Maybe… she could hum back.

Firefly cleared her throat, focused on the humming and started herself.

“Hmm, hmm hmm hmmm.” Firefly hummed, loud enough that she hoped it could travel through the stars and find her soulmate.

There was a pause in the music she heard. Firefly tried to imagine what her soulmate was like. Were they surprised that she was singing to them? Would they be happy to finally hear from them? Was her singing so bad that she caused them to stop?

But a few seconds later, the humming continued.

Firefly sang together with her soulmate.

She wondered if this was what harmony felt like.

The stars were bright that night.

It was like a switch had been flipped and all of a sudden everyone was talking about soulmates. Firefly noticed it in snippets of conversation that she caught from her classmates. From people at home. People at the stores. When she was just taking a walk around the block.

Firefly smiled. She should have tried to sing to her soulmate earlier.

Have you ever been to the sea? Her soulmate sang. The sea is blue, the sea is free, I would like to visit the sea!

Firefly can’t help but laugh at the song.

I’ve only ever seen it on TV! Firefly sang back, before packing her backpack for school.

Sometimes I dream of flying. Firefly quietly sang to herself. Sometimes I wish to soar across the sky.

We'll try defying gravity. Her soulmate sang back.

Bright blue skies as the morning rises, good day to you! Good day to you!

Good morning to you. Firefly replied, having just woken. Good day to you. I hope you can see that it’s much too early, do you?

It’s never too early to sing!

Birds are born with no shackles. Then what fetters my fate?

Firefly couldn’t help but think that this song was awfully melancholic. She wondered if her soulmate was alright.

“...fly. Firefly!” The caretaker said.

“Yes?” The girl looked up from her book. There was an odd look on the caretaker’s face.

“Dinner’s ready.” The caretaker whispered.

How was your day? Was it okay?

How was my day? It was more than okay!

Blown away, the white petals.

Leave me trapped in the cage.

Firefly wondered what pained her soulmate so.

Firefly only had time for the violin when she was at school. Everything she learned about it was from her music teacher. All her practice came during school hours. An hour of practice each weekday and some time in the library to study music notation.

It was just so… interesting the way music came together. When she put on headphones and put the volume on high it was just so easy to get lost in the lyrics, or the instrumentals, or even just the beat.

Little by little the violin came together, her fingers were able to press down on the strings more accurately, she was growing up so the chinrest actually started to fit her, and the bow wasn’t as awkward to maneuver.

She felt as if the notes were getting softer and softer the more she played. Sometimes she pressed down a bit harder in return, in some attempt to elevate the volume. Her teacher always stopped her when she did that.

But she learned to recognize the correct vibrations of the instrument she held. The way that it responded to her and how the piece of wood made more sense than some other people she met. How she could understand it, listen to it and hear it better than when everyone whispered around her.

Maybe she could be a musician. Firefly mused.

The endless isolation.

Can’t wear down my illusion.

Someday, I’ll make a dream unchained.

Her soulmate sang this song a lot. Line by line, as if she was crafting her own.

Firefly passed by the TV one day at home. Some of the other kids were gathered around watching a boxing match. If the caretakers knew they’d probably turn the program off, but none of them were around at the moment.

“It’d be nice to get into boxing.” One of the kids said. To Firefly it was little more than a whisper.

“Why?” Asked another.

“Then I can punch anyone I don’t like!”

Firefly shook her head. Boxing was too violent. She much preferred her violin.

Let my heart bravely spread the wings.

Soaring past the night.

To trace the bright moonlight!

Firefly etched each lyric into her mind. Her soulmate sang it with such passion that she couldn’t not recognize their efforts.

Sometimes it would be hard to hear her soulmate. Either she couldn’t stay out late enough, or the radio was on too loud and by the time it was off it was time for bed. Sometimes even when she did hear them, they were quiet and dampened, but their harmony still rang true despite that.

She tried her best to sing to them every night.

But night by night it felt like things were getting further away.

…-ain rain go away. Come again another day.

Firefly struggled to hear her soulmate. As if they were barely singing above a whisper.

Let the clouds heal me of the stings.

Gently wipe the sorrow off my life.

I dream.

Even when her soulmate was nothing more than a passing murmur. The lyrics still shone brightly during the night

Summer passed and it was the day before she became a high schooler. She was a teenager now and spent more and more time alone, buried in her books than ever before. Everyone around her whispered in a volume too low for her to understand, and it frustrated her to no end.

Was it all some sort of joke that she wasn’t a part of? It wasn’t as if she cared. She was fine being alone and reading.

The door opened and she looked up from her book.

“...” The caretaker said, their mouth moved but no words came out.

Firefly blinked.

“...” The caretaker said again, their mouth moved up and down, open and shut yet nothing more than muffled noise came out.

“I don’t know what you’re saying.” Firefly huffed. Were even the caretakers in on this cruel prank now?

That got a reaction, surprise, indignation, then suspicion. She could recognize all those emotions as some of the other kids were unruly and bad mannered. But not her. She preferred to stick to her books and music.

They came closer and spoke once more.

“Firefly.” They whispered to her, face closer than ever before. “I think your hearing might be going.”

And despite the words making sense. Despite the fact that she knew every word that was said.

She couldn’t understand a single thing.

Test upon test upon noise after noise. Some were loud. Many were quiet. Some made no noise at all and the looks upon the adult's faces conveyed disappointment after each test that she knew something happened yet couldn't tell what.

Something was wrong with her.

She was able to recognize that fact.

Her hearing was bad.

She knew some other people had bad hearing.

But not as bad as hers.

She realized the truth of the matter but couldn't fully grasp it.

A caretaker and a doctor spoke. For what seemed like hours. They stuck her in machines, took her blood, did all sorts of things and yet-

She still couldn’t hear what they were saying.

That was the day that Firefly learned of a word.

Deaf.

Firefly is told that she has a disease that causes her body to break down over time. That it started with her ears and would eventually go to other parts of her body. She tried her best to understand what that meant, but no matter how many times she read the sentence, it didn’t register fully.

What did it mean?

It would go to other parts of her body?

What would happen to her?

Would she still be able to attend high school?

It had been a week and she still hadn’t been able to show up. When would she show up? Would she fall behind in classes? She wanted to keep learning new things, build up more blocks and find out what she wanted to be.

Deaf is what they called her.

But she was just… her. She was Firefly.

She didn’t understand.

Why did the world have to go quiet?

I don’t know what’s going on. Firefly sang out. The doctor is telling me strange things.

It was odd to sing after being told she was deaf. It wasn’t as if the revelation had suddenly changed the fact that she sang to her soulmate everyday. Wasn’t as if she suddenly couldn’t talk. She could still form words, she could still sing fine.

Did she really not notice the fact that her hearing was leaving? Did she speak that little to people outside of her soulmate?

She knew the answer was yes.

Firefly waited a few minutes for a response before singing again.

I’ll sing to you again in the morning. Goodnight to you, goodnight to you. Please sing back to me.

Morning came and she got no response.

Good morning to you. Good morning to you. Bright blue skies as the morning rises. Good morning to you!

Firefly sang again.

She got no reply. She would try again each and every morning and after school.

Firefly is moved to a different class, they communicate in written word and start to teach her hand gestures. Each hand gesture meant something different and there were so many of them and everything was so quiet and-

She didn’t even realize she was rubbing her ears until one of the teachers stopped her.

Too much was happening in such a short time. They kept calling her deaf. Like it meant she was broken. But she wasn't broken. She was still the same person. She was still Firefly.

I’m singing for you. Won’t you sing with me? Firefly tried again.

Silence met her song.

People looked at her differently. The same people that were her classmates in elementary and middle school now whispered and pointed fingers. She couldn’t hear them, but she could feel each and every gaze on her back.

During lunch, in between classes, after school.

No parents. Deaf girl. Look how she walks.

Firefly ignored them.

School is difficult. People whisper behind my back. I can’t hear any of them but I know what they’re saying. Will you let me hear your voice?

The world felt dark. The silence felt darker.

One of the girls that she had been classmates with for years walked up to her and asked her a question between classes. Firefly couldn’t hear it, nor could she understand it.

Her classmate walked back to their group and said something. Firefly watched as they giggled to themselves and gave her a look.

Firefly ignored them.

When can I hear you again? I miss your voice.

Firefly waited for a response that would never come.

…She waited and waited and waited. How long would she have to wait to hear her soulmate? It’d been… a long time.

Was she even singing correctly? How long had it been since Firefly had even heard her own voice? The most she had was the vibrations in her throat when she sang.

Or- Firefly considered the option that had always haunted her. The one that she constantly shoved down, denied, and refused to consider.

That her deafness had silenced her to the voice of her soulmate as well.

That despite the fact that soulmates could hear each other over great distances, that held no meaning if one of them simply couldn’t hear.

That her body really had broken down, changed irreparably and there was nothing she could do.

Her knees buckled onto the pavement, strength suddenly leaving her and she could feel her knees scrape against the ground. There was a flash of pain that was pushed down by the heavy emotions that suddenly welled up.

She could have lived with her deafness. It wasn’t as if she had suddenly become another person. She could have lived with learning a new way to have a voice in sign language. It was just another form of communication. She could have lived with the threat of other changes hanging over her head. It would be alright as long as she had her soulmate.

But even her soulmate had been taken away. Gone, silenced to Firefly. What did her soulmate know? What did they think? Did they think that she was ignoring them on purpose? Did they understand what she was going through?

Firefly couldn’t stop the hot tears from spilling.

Why me?

Did I do anything to deserve this?

Firefly opened her locker and a note fell out. She bent over to pick it up.

I’m sorry for your soulmate :( It read. It must be tough for them to know that you can’t hear them.

She could feel the gazes of each of her classmates on her. Watching her. Waiting for her reaction.

Firefly couldn’t stop the rush of fire through her veins. The anger that came in, hot and scorching everything in its path.

She slammed her locker shut. Everyone near her jumped and averted their gazes.

The silver haired girl stared them down. Each and every one of them pretended to be busy with something else. She tried her best to stamp down on the emotions that were bubbling up with a heat unprecedented. Tried so hard to not go up to the group of girls that she knew it originated from.

Why me? She signed to everyone.

None of them looked at her. None of them could understand her.

She could barely concentrate in class for the rest of the day.

Then I can punch anyone I don’t like.

Firefly wasn’t sure why that singular line bloomed inside her head long after she had forgotten it. But there was something about the dusty and old building that had a worn down sign with the words ‘GYM’ on it that drew her attention. Maybe it was the way that it flickered on the corner of the street, or maybe it was the way that a girl with hair like hers pounded away at a punching bag with a grace she'd only seen on TV.

She stared at the silver haired girl through the window. Punch after punch, each one flowed into each other like an intricate dance. Even to her inexperienced eye she felt like there were no wasted movements.

Firefly jumped when she felt the door close behind her, she hadn’t even noticed that she entered the gym.

There was another woman in the building, a violet haired beauty that gave her a glance as she entered. Firefly took a look up at the door and noticed it had a bell.

The violet woman got up from where she was situated. From the way she was sitting previously, it looked as if she was watching the other silver haired girl. Firefly watched as she went behind the counter and stared at her, almost expectantly.

Taking it as a queue, she walked up before her.

The woman mouthed something, Firefly wasn’t sure what, instead she looked around for a piece of paper to write something down and-

Firefly froze as the woman moved her hands.

You join gym? The violet haired woman signed.

It took her brain a second to restart. How often had she met people outside of her specialized class that knew how to sign? Maybe once randomly at the store.

Not sure. Firefly signed back. No money. I’m a student.

The violet haired woman shrugged.

First three months free. Student ID has discount.

Firefly hesitated. I know nothing about gym.

We teach. Want to join?

Did she?

She glanced at the silver haired girl still wailing away at a bag. She knew that she wouldn’t ever do such a thing to people at school. But maybe it could be a good idea to start something new. Something to take her mind off things. If she could even get as close to as fluid as that…

Firefly nodded.

I’m K-a-f-k-a. The violet woman spelled her name with her fingers. She pointed to the other woman. That’s S-t-e-l-l-e.

Firefly thought for a moment. Kafka and Stelle. Both had nice names. She liked her own name a lot, but Firefly was someone who was nice, who liked books and learning. She wasn’t someone who had fire burning through her veins and anger that simmered beneath the surface.

I’m S-a-m. Firefly introduced herself.

Nice to meet you. Kafka signed. She turned and from the way her mouth moved with a certain magnitude to it, Firefly could tell it was loud.

The other girl, Stelle, came running over after. She wrapped her hands around Kafka’s waist and settled into her neck. Firefly noticed that up close Stelle was taller than Kafka. Were they girlfriends?

Kafka spoke to Stelle, who nodded but didn’t say anything.

Want to learn boxing? Kafka signed to Firefly.

Firefly flushed a bit. Was she that easy to read? She nodded.

Stelle will teach. Kafka gave the taller girl a quick peck. That answered her earlier question. Follow her.

And when she followed Stelle, the silent girl who never opened her mouth. The girl who spoke briefly, even in sign language. She could feel all the fire that burned through her veins during school coalesce into one singular punch.

Again. Stelle signed.

And then she gave it another. And another. She laid out all her frustrations against the world. It was reckless. Her punches had no form.

But-

It felt good.

Her doctor would probably get mad that she was doing strenuous exercise. But they never said she couldn’t.

It was her life. She’d live it how she wanted.

She showered and went straight to her room when she got home. It was as she was unpacking that she noticed some old music books that were stuck in the corner.

Firefly showed up to music class after school. The teacher wasn't the same one as before, it was a different one, one that had a look of hesitation when she showed up. As if they didn't know what to do with her.

“Can I play the violin?” She asked them.

Words were more difficult than before. There was a lack of auditory feedback that she was used to, but she must have said it right because they nodded to her regardless.

She tucked the rest under her chin, placed fingers upon the strings and played with her bow. The first chord rang silent, but the thrum of the instrument was still felt within her hands.

It was still similar to what she was used to. The instrument still responded to her movements. it still felt alive.

When everything felt different. The vibrations of her instrument told the same old story. The tips of her fingers still felt the song that was being played. She would just have to keep learning.

Firefly remembered an old question that she had once asked when she was younger. It popped into her mind when she was watching Kafka and Stelle be in their own little world for the millionth time for the sixth month in a row.

She had never seen Stelle talk once, yet the two of them still found each other. It was obvious to anyone and everyone they were soulmates, destined to be together.

So how had they found each other? They were only a few years older than her.

Did that mean it was possible to find her own soulmate?

Firefly sighed.

She could ponder such a question for years and never find an answer. Doing so would only hurt herself. She had her whole life ahead of her. If she only looked at the past or future, then she’d just miss out on the present.

And in the present. She swung her arms as she tried to warm herself up. She was Sam.

The grass beneath her body felt nice. It tickled the sides of her face, the soft rustling as the wind blew it.

It was cold out. The stars were shining brightly in the sky.

She remembered a night similar to this. One that started with humming and ended with humming.

Firefly took a deep breath, inhaling the crisp air and feeling it envelop her senses.

She whispered to herself softly. It was a song she heard on the radio years ago.

Look at the sky… I’m still here…

I’ll be alive… next year…

I can make something good…

Something good…

Chapter Text

Sam pulled their hair back, tying it into a tight ponytail. Tiny strands they missed tickled their nape. It reminded them of grass beneath them, small blades that would rustle in the wind, reaching up and barely grazing exposed skin. Like a feather.

Stelle signed to them from outside the ring. You got this.

I bet thirty bucks on you. Kafka signed, a tiny smirk on their face as she did so.

Sam rolled their eyes and focused on the opponent in front of them. It was a tall girl, towering above them by nearly a full head height. Sam wasn’t scared. Fear was for Firefly, and right now they were Sam.

They took a deep breath, focusing inward and honing the fire that ran through their veins. They sharpened it, tempered it into a weapon, and exhaled, nodding to the judge.

Elio, the judge and true owner of the gym, looked between the two opponents. He raised his arm as he got a confirmation from both of them, before counting down on his fingers.

Three.

Sam readied themselves by getting into a neutral stance and loosened their posture. It allowed them to react to anything and take advantage of their natural flexibility.

Two.

Sam locked eyes with their opponent. Their emotions were plain on their face, like an open book spilling its pages out onto the floor. Sam could tell they were being underestimated, that their small stature led them to believe this would be an easy fight.

One.

Sam would show them.

The judge’s arm was lowered, signaling the start of the match.

Sam rushed in with a flurry of jabs. They targeted the obvious openings, under the arms, their sides, one’s that popped up when they rushed to defend.

Her opponent took a hit in an attempt to retaliate, but Sam made sure it was a light jab so she had the flexibility to move quickly. They ducked and punished the followup, landing a hit right in the center of the stomach that made them double over.

Sam quickly followed it up with a blow to the head, glove landing directly against the helmet of her opponent. They went down and the judge counted them out before long.

Sam watched as the taller girl got up after long, giving them a glare before storming off.

Wow. Fast and efficient. Good job. Stelle signed as they got out of the ring.

Thanks for the money. Kafka told them.

Sam just sighed. That single match hardly tamed the fire that ran through their veins.

And the professor got mad at me because I brought my baseball bat inside the lecture hall. Stelle signed as she complained about her most recent class. If they didn’t want that, maybe they should give us more than 15 minutes to get to another class!

I told you to space your classes out more. But you wanted to be in the same class as me. Kafka signed back.

But I would literally die if I went without you for too long.

We’re together for 14 hours a day. Kafka deadpanned.

Firefly chuckled. The couple was always a treat to watch. The longer she had been going to the gym, the more she realized that Stelle was actually very talkative, just not to strangers. That and Kafka was actually the one who was metaphorically whipped in this relationship, not the other way around, even if the conversation suggested otherwise.

She recognized this extremely important fact when one day Stelle had to take an exam and was gone for an extra hour. Kafka spent that entire trying to look composed, but it was easy to see that she was as pouty as a wet cat.

What’s so funny? Stelle signed to her.

You two are funny. Firefly signed back. Every day it’s something new.

You’re graduating soon aren’t you? Kafka asked. Have you decided on where you’re going?

Firefly shrugged. Probably St. Freya’s just like you two. It’s local and I have a scholarship for it.

It’s a nice place. Are you still free for violin practice later?

Yes. Firefly paused her sentence as she noticed Elio approach them.

I sent out everyone’s payments. Elio signed. He technically didn’t need to, as only Stelle and Kafka were actual employees of the gym, but he did so because Firefly was around. It was a nice consideration.

And then he handed her an envelope, one that Firefly knew had money in it.

Again? Firefly signed.

You come here every other day and do as much helping out as you do actual training. If there’s one thing I believe in, it's that hard work deserves its due payment. Elio signed back.

They’d been doing this little back and forth for a year or more now, every other week. Firefly had been reluctant at first, but when both Kafka and Stelle insisted that she take it and put it into a savings account, she relented.

Firefly sighed and took it. Thank you.

Elio nodded and made himself scarce again. The owner was elusive as he was mysterious, but it was evident that he was a good person.

How much have you saved up over the past year and a half since he started paying you? Stelle asked.

Kafka elbowed her girlfriend with a frown. Firefly didn’t mind, the two were the closest friends she’d had.

A few thousand.

Are you going to buy anything with it?

Firefly shrugged. She really wasn’t sure. She had a vague idea that she might explore, but it was… scary to think about. Maybe after she graduated and had nothing better to do in the summer.

If you want to go shopping for clothes you can always ask me or Kafka. Though Kafka is probably the better choice for that.

I’ll probably need a new wardrobe for college.

Firefly’s phone buzzed as the clock ticked over to the hour. Her and Kafka got up simultaneously.

Time for practice. Kafka signed. Firefly nodded.

Stelle leaned over and gave the violet girl a peck. I’ll see you two in an hour. Just gotta close up and my shift will be done.

Firefly waved bye to her silver haired friend as the two left.

Firefly put her hands on Kafka’s violin and felt the strings sing to her as Kafka gently rocked her bow back and forth. The deaf girl could feel the vibrations, the rise and fall of the song as it continued forward and matched the notes as they had practiced.

It was an odd method of practice, but one that let Firefly know exactly what Kafka wanted from her. The violet woman was an expert she had never seen before when it came to music. Instruments of all kinds came to her naturally, but the violin especially was her forte.

Firefly couldn’t hear them of course, but she could feel the way the very air seemed to vibrate in joy when Kafka played an instrument. The way that she worked the piano, the cello, the flute and violin. It was this expertise that allowed them to come up with a way for Kafka to communicate exactly what she wanted in a way that Firefly could understand.

I get it. Firefly signed, as she took her fingers off the strings. Let me try again.

She took the violin up to her chin and laid it to rest, holding the bow up high and her fingers primed on the strings. She started just as Kafka had, gentle and slow, before rising up in a long stroke. The strings sang to her and she could feel her instrument cry in happiness.

Kafka joined in, matching Firefly with her own violin. She matched her pace and tempo, letting her arm roll like waves rocking upon a shore. She continued that way, her eyes focused on Kafka, her fingers tensing and moving upon the strings, her bow like an extension of her arm.

And when the song slowed and eventually stopped, she returned back to neutral position.

Kafka let her instrument rest.

Good job. She signed.

You too. Firefly replied.

Stelle will be here soon. Let’s take a break until she’s ready.

Firefly wasn’t one to complain about that. A tournament and rehearsal in one day wasn’t a light load, but she signed up for it, so she’d go through with it.

She ran a hand through her silver hair as she drank from her water bottle. There were slight bits of leftover perspiration from her earlier bout in the ring on the roots of her soft hair. She frowned at the feeling. Even if it was something she was used to, she never liked the slightly sticky texture when it half dried. It always made her self conscious.

When she got back from washing her hands, Stelle was there and setting up on her piano. Firefly gave a wave, which Stelle returned, before they all got back into position.

Kafka had her cello. Stelle had her piano. Firefly had her violin.

Let’s start from the top as a warm up. Kafka signed, prepping her bow in an exaggerated motion.

Both Firefly and Stelle had their eyes on her. It was up to the violet woman to start, after all.

Kafka nodded once, twice, and on the third they all began.

You need to do this note again, you’re not putting enough emphasis on it. Kafka instructed her.

Firefly placed her hands on Kafka’s violin and nodded when she felt exactly what it was that Kafka wanted.

Stelle, you're going too fast.

What if you two are just going too slow? Stelle shot back.

Kafka and Firefly shared a look.

Kafka, you need to be more obvious when you start. I can’t read your mind if you start playing out of nowhere. Firefly complained.

Stelle munched on a snack in the background.

Nervous? Stelle signed after they were done with practice.

Of what? Doing a piano trio in front of a bunch of college students even while deaf? No, I do this every other week. Firefly replied, the sarcasm was obvious from her facial expression.

Stelle shrugged. I didn’t start doing actual recitals with Kafka until we were freshmen. All of them before that were just solos in talent shows or something along those lines.

I didn’t initially peg you for the type of person to do music when we first met.

Her friend shrugged again. I’ve been doing it as far back as elementary school.

Firefly inhaled deeply. That’s nice. I wish I had your tenacity.

Stelle gave her an odd look. Don’t you already?

Firefly found that she couldn’t quite answer that.

Firefly waited patiently as she watched the doctor go over some papers that were printed out. Every six months she had a checkup for her condition. Every six months she had to wonder if that visit would be the one she received bad news.

The doctor, Natasha, specialized in conditions like hers. It was mere coincidence that someone like her was so close by, but Firefly much preferred that over the opposite.

So there’s no change to your condition, which is good. The doctor wrote to her on a piece of paper. Do you still have trouble putting on weight?

Firefly nodded. While it was true that she had a good overall tone to her body, that came from nearly three and a half years of constantly going to the gym. To call her muscular would stretch the definition just a tad.

Eating sometimes felt like all the nutrients passed through her. She knew that some people would be jealous of her ability to eat seemingly without having to worry about weight, but for Firefly it made putting on extra muscle feel like a constant uphill battle. Occasionally it felt like she was going to the gym just to go through the motions rather than making any progress.

Natasha thought for a moment upon seeing her nod. We can try a different drug in an attempt to help your body retain some more of what it eats. Do you want to try that?

Firefly nodded again.

Okay. We’ll do that. Anything else you want to talk about?

She froze and chewed on her lip. She was graduating soon. Her recital was just around the corner. It didn’t hurt to ask, and she finally had the money for it too.

Can you tell me about hearing aids? Firefly wrote.

The drugs made Firefly feel drowsy and sluggish regardless of the time of day. Definitely a no.

She wouldn't sacrifice her day to day livelihood just to gamble on the chance that she might gain a few extra pounds. She was fine, still at a healthy weight and her diet was good.

They scheduled a date to reconvene after her piano trio recital and before graduation.

Firefly rubbed her arms together in a vain attempt to stave away the goosebumps that were forming. Not only was it cold in the auditorium, but just outside the curtains was an entire audience full of people, waiting to watch the three of them.

Well, really the two of them. Firefly was pretty certain that Kafka and Stelle had a reputation as a musical duo before she had even found out about them. Oh Aeons, was she third wheeling a recital? She never really thought about it, she jumped at the opportunity to get more in depth lessons from Kafka.

Relax. It’s nothing new. Stelle signed.

Maybe for you. Firefly replied. What if my instrument is messed up? What if I start on the wrong note?

Your instrument isn’t messed up, you placed it on stage an hour ago. You won’t start on the wrong note, we’ve had several perfect rehearsals leading up to this.

Firefly swallowed her nerves. Right, of course Stelle was right.

Are they loud? Firefly asked.

Just a lot of talking.

She nodded and sighed. What was she doing? She was just a small little deaf girl who couldn’t even hear the sounds her friends were making with their instrument. She could feel them. But she didn’t truly understand what the cello or the piano sounded like in their hands. Not that she doubted them. Rather, she doubted her own ability to match up to their standards.

Kafka seemingly was able to read her thoughts. It’ll go well. If I didn’t think you were ready I would have told you. You just need to do everything like we did in practice. If the college didn’t think you were ready they wouldn’t allow you to play despite the fact that you’re not enrolled yet.

Firefly took a deep breath to calm herself.

Okay. I’m ready. She told her two friends.

Kafka nodded to her, and Stelle repeated that action.

The violet haired woman, and leader of the trio, walked on stage. Her black and red dress flowed around her like a veil of charisma, fluttering even in the dim of the light. Stelle followed behind her girlfriend, dressed in a suit of black with violet highlights.

Firefly shifted her tie in a fit of nerves right before she walked on stage. Her own choice was a suit, similar to Stelle, but hers was a bit more grayscale than her fellow silver haired friend. It opened up in the front, showcasing her white undershirt and highlighted the buttons that framed it.

She fiddled with one of the buttons one last time before she stepped on stage.

It took everything she could to keep her nerves in check upon seeing the filled auditorium. It was much, much larger than the one in her high school.

Doubt started to creep up once more. What was she even doing here? She hadn’t even had a solo recital before, yet here she was jumping into a piano trio? Something notoriously difficult AND she had a handicap?

Firefly nearly jumped when she felt Stelle’s hand on her back, but realized it was to prompt her to bow. She had missed Kafka’s speech.

She bowed, took her seat and prepped her violin upon her chin.

There was fire running through her veins, like lava clogging her nerves and causing her to be jittery. If she could just… tie her hair back and be Sam…

Her gaze met Kafka’s.

No. She could do this as Firefly. She was strong. Why was she even doubting herself? She had gotten so far when most people would have given up long ago.

She tempered the fire, letting it run warm, liquifying it so she could feel it flow through her body. Her nerves calmed and her body stilled.

Firefly gave a nod to Kafka. She was ready.

Kafka nodded to Stelle, prepped her bow on her cello in one big exaggerated fashion, nodded her head once, twice, and on the third time.

They played together in harmony.

Firefly wasn’t sure when they reached the end, it was like time slipped past her in a music induced haze. She could feel the song of her violin at her fingertips, singing just for her. It was an entire orchestra, and an entire melody, produced by her and for her. When she locked eyes with Kafka and Stelle she could feel the hum of their instruments as well, adding to it and bouncing off it and twisting, turning and creating a sum greater than the parts.

She felt the long rise, higher and higher until she had reached the zenith, and the slow walk back down as everything came to a slow stop.

Kafka set down the cello. Stelle got up from the piano. Firefly followed suit and nestled away her violin.

She watched and saw the crowd was clapping, some might have even been cheering, but everyone had a big smile on their face and it was all directed at them.

The three bowed as one and exited the stage, disappearing behind the curtain the same curtain they entered from.

Firefly took five beats to recognize that she was safe and away from prying eyes before she practically collapsed into a spare chair.

Idly she saw Stelle practically jumping up and down, a big goofy smile on her face as she punched the air in celebration. Kafka also had a big smile on her face, but it was overall much more refined than her girlfriend.

Firefly didn’t even realize she was laughing until both of her friends started to laugh along with her. Each in their own unique way.

She didn’t realize how shaky her hands were until she attempted to sign with them.

We did it. Firefly signed.

Hard work will always pay off. Kafka replied.

Yay! Time to go meet the audience! Stelle cheered.

…Huh?

Firefly couldn’t recall that being mentioned anywhere.

Kafka and Stelle both laughed upon seeing her face.

Firefly did her best to keep a smile going.

Apparently such a thing was commonplace. Kafka and Stelle had done so after every recital, and they mostly just let Kafka do most of the talking. Firefly just nodded and smiled and pretended to understand that she knew what people were saying. At her own request, they didn’t advertise the fact that she was deaf.

She watched to the side as Stelle signed with some pink-haired audience member she didn’t know. She had never seen Stelle be so active in discussion with someone that wasn’t in their immediate friend group. As if her friend knew, she caught her eye and signed her something.

Audience members aren’t strangers.

Firefly must have made an interesting face because Stelle laughed before she went back to her conversation.

Was she really that easy to read?

Firefly was able to keep her composure and continue on, up until the point where someone practically jumped past Kafka and came up to Firefly herself.

The girl had black hair (Firefly had a distinct feeling that wasn’t her natural hair color) that was topped with a cap, and had two small earrings that had feather-like protrusions on them. She had sunglasses on, ones that fell just over her nose enough for Firefly to get a look past them. Her green eyes were bright and colorful and seemed easy to get lost in with how deep they were. She wore a dark coat with a high collar.

If Firefly was quick to judge, she’d say that such a person was wearing a disguise of some sort.

The black haired girl spoke quickly, a bright smile on her face that just radiated the energy behind her words. Even if Firefly couldn’t hear her, she could just barely make out a few words on her face.

…You were… amazing? Is that what she said?

Firefly couldn’t stop the blush, surely not. She felt a little lost when someone spoke to her so animatedly and she was unable to understand them.

Kafka stepped in, giving the girl a smile and said something that caused some sort of look of understanding. The girl with feathered earrings stepped back, pulled some card and pen out of her pocket and wrote something down. She then handed it to Firefly and stepped back.

It was a card that had an advertisement for some concert by the singer named ‘Robin’. On top of all of that, scribbled in curvy black ink was a… phone number.

Firefly blinked and looked back up, only to see the girl was walking away. Upon meeting her sunglasses-covered gaze the black haired girl waved goodbye to her. Firefly hesitantly returned the gesture.

Kafka gave her a smirk.

What the Aeons did the instrumentalist tell her?

What did that person want? Firefly asked after the meet and greet was over.

Isn’t it obvious? Kafka laughed. You have an admirer. They even gave you their phone number.

Firefly blushed. She had the feeling that was the case but… it just felt… unreal? As if it was some sort of cosmic impossibility that she was noticed over the other two intensely skilled musicians besides her.

Oh! Who was it? I didn’t get to see. Stelle joined in.

Some black haired girl with feather earrings. Had our little violinist stunned and I had to step in.

I couldn’t understand her! She just started talking out of nowhere! Firefly protested.

The number seemed fairly self explanatory. She was saying about how she loved your performance with the violin.

Firefly flushed again. The black haired girl was… really pretty. Looking back she wasn’t quite sure if she was stunned in their presence because of how quickly they came onto the scene or just how pretty they were. Their green eyes were dazzling.

They’re just some random person. It doesn’t matter.

Kafka frowned. They looked a little familiar. I didn’t get much of a look before they headed off.

Firefly tried to think of where she saw them, but she’d probably remember if she ever met someone as stunning as them.

Not sure. Maybe she looks like a celebrity or something.

Those green eyes stayed in her mind for the rest of the night.

So I just… put them in and turn them on? Firefly wrote.

Natasha, her doctor, nodded. There’s buttons for volume controls as well as an on and off switch. These more modern ones can also be turned off through bluetooth through your phone and will connect to it.

Firefly blinked. Modern technology never ceased to amaze her.

She tentatively, carefully, almost as if it were glass, hooked it around her ears and pushed them in. There was a tiny buzz of something in her ear, almost like TV static.

“Uh…” Firefly tested, surprising herself with her own voice. “Test?”

She blanched at the vibration of her own voice and how she sounded. Holy shit she could hear herself again and why did she sound like that.

“How is it?” Natasha asked her. Her voice was calm, even almost soothing, but also a little loud.

“Uh. A little loud.” She winced at her own voice again. It was raspy, and almost felt like wrinkled paper being smoothed out every time she spoke.

“You can turn it down using the buttons on the top.”

Firefly pressed one of the buttons a few times. “Test?” She said, and winced because she had just increased the volume to a level that made everything shrill and booming. She pressed the other button more.

“Testing… CAN yOu-” Her voice cracked and Firefly blushed. She cleared her throat. “Can you say something?”

“Is the volume good?” Natasha said, at what Firefly thought was a normal voice.

“I think so.” Firefly was a little dazed at everything. “Wow… I can… hear things. It’s been a long time.”

Natasha smiled at her. “How do you feel?”

“Uh… good. I sort of feel like I should have done this earlier, but it’s really expensive.” Some of the words felt odd in her throat, and she had to focus specifically on her enunciation.

Natasha nodded. “The disease damaged your ears quite a bit, so normal over the counter ones wouldn’t quite be enough for your needs. And yes, it’s quite expensive. We don’t have to go through with it if it's too much. This is technically still just a testing period.”

“No, no…. I think I should go keep them. College won’t be easy and… I want to hear my instruments after such a long time.”

“It’s very admirable that you kept with it through all this despite everything. Not many people could have done what you did. Your recital was wonderful.”

Firefly blushed. “Oh, I didn’t know you went.”

“Of course I did. What sort of doctor would I be if I didn’t check up on one of my patients?”

“A normal one? I thought most doctors didn’t care what their patients did outside of checkups?”

Natasha frowned. “Hmm… Well maybe I’m alright with not being normal then.”

Firefly laughed at that.

Ah… she could hear again. It felt… like a dream.

She’d have to tell her friends.

Loudness was not a concept that she had to really think about for the better part of the past half decade, but it was one that had her feeling like she was hit by a truck.

Everything had a sound to it, a sound that she knew from before but it was so easy to forget about it after years had gone by. The leaves rustled from the wind. The pitter patter of the rain. Cars stopped and started, their engines and horns making all sorts of noises. Even just the sound of people faintly talking across the street, on their phones or something. It was all so new, and yet so old.

Sometimes she would flinch or jump when a particular noise was too loud. Sometimes the background noise seemed to overpower everything and be the only thing she could hear. It was difficult to adjust, but she’d make do.

She entered the gym, like she had done every other day for the past few years. The ringing of the bell surprised her and caused her to look up at the door. She idly shook off her umbrella and put it in the holder.

Kafka and Stelle both looked over and gave her a wave.

Firefly stood before her two friends. Her heart was beating particularly fast. Not quite at the level of nervousness of the concert, but somewhere along the lines of it.

It was stupid, why would she even be nervous when it came to her two friends? They’d be happy for her.

She took a deep breath, getting an odd look from both of them, before she opened her mouth and spoke.

“H-Hello.” She said and blanked on what to follow it up with. “Nice… day we’re having?”

Her two friends stared at her.

It’s raining. Stelle signed.

Firefly flushed. “You asked what I was going to get with my paychecks… and I got hearing aids!” She cringed at how she sounded.

Both her friends stared at her for three full seconds before they both burst into big smiles.

That’s great! Stelle signed happily.

“I’m happy for you.” Kafka said. Her voice was smooth, just a tad deep and rolled into her like gentle waves. It caught Firefly completely off guard.

“Uh, wow. Your voice is… nice.” She said offhandedly.

I know. Stelle signed. But she’s mine. You can’t have her.

“I-I’m not…”

Kafka laughed. “Thank you. Stelle is just joking.”

Stelle chuckled and stuck her tongue out just a tiny bit.

Firefly laughed a bit. “I was just thinking that we could-”

“HEY! Watch where you’re going!” Someone yelled close to the trio. The volume of the yell was enough to cause her hearing aids to pick it up and echo it loudly into her ear. Sending her dizzy with the ringing it caused.

She cupped her left ear as she waited for the pain to subside. It took her a minute and both her friends were glaring at the person who caused such a thing, but it seemed to have sort itself out before anything else needed to be done.

“S-sorry. I’m still getting used to them. I think I still need to adjust them a bit more.” Firefly apologized.

It’s not your fault. People shouldn’t be yelling in the first place. Stelle told her.

She agreed with that, but it wasn’t as if she could control people. “It’s whatever.” She said.

“What were you saying from before?” Kafka asked.

“Uh. Well if you two had time I was hoping we could do our piano trio again. This time I would… like to hear it myself.” She admitted.

Both her friends gave her a big smile.

Of course.

Firefly placed her bow upon her strings. This time she could hear everything, the tiny rustles in movement, the creaking of the piano, the hollowness of the violin.

It was so… different than what she was used to, yet it tugged on the cords of nostalgia. And despite that, it was still the same violin that had practiced for years.

She locked eyes with Kafka and nodded. Kafka nodded back, and then once more to Stelle.

Three. Two. One.

Firefly played her first note in synchrony with the other two members. Her violin sang to her a sharp hum of joy. She could feel the vibrations in her fingertips, the wonderful whispering of song that emanated from her instrument and mixed with the other two. The rich fullness of the cello, a deep purr that came from Kafka’s mastery of the instrument. The piano added a sweet accentuation to the two stringed instruments, filling in the gaps with perfectly timed harmonics that lifted and propelled the other two to greater heights.

She could feel the effort and talent that oozed out of her other two members. The way they matched her effortlessly. It was like their instruments were in one intricate dance, each one stepping together at the same time, doing slightly different things that covered each other.

They sped up, faster and faster. She could feel the way their paths diverged, instruments splitting off into their individual sections, before rushing back together and harmonizing in one great stroke.

Firefly felt hot. The music felt like she was just able to lift off the ground a tiny bit. That if she continued to play she would sprout wings and fly.

She reached her zenith, the long climb up the mountain where her instrument could see across the sky, so close to the stars-

And down she went, her bow slowing and returning back to where it began.

She opened her eyes at the end of the song, having unknowingly closed them during the performance. The world was blurry for some reason unknown to her.

“Are you okay?” Kafka asked.

“Huh?”

You’re crying. Firefly could barely make out Stelle’s signs through the haze that was her vision.

She placed down her violin and bow and reached up to her face. Hot tears were fresh on her face.

When had they-

She was crying?

Firefly couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her. It found its way up as her confusing emotions rose inside her. Tears started to flow more freely and she couldn’t stop them.

“Haha…” Firefly continued to laugh.

“What’s wrong?” Kafka asked again.

“Haha… Haha…” She continued to giggle. There was a bright smile on her face, one that refused to go down no matter how much she tugged on it.

She was just… so happy. She was elated. Joyous. She could probably name a dozen different synonyms and none of them would be enough to describe how she felt.

Firefly signed her feelings.

I’m just really happy that I never gave up.

And she knew, then, that those emotions weren’t because she could hear once more. But rather it was because she could finally allow herself to recognize her own efforts. That her hard work, day after day, with blood sweat and tears that accompanied her every step of the way, had paid off.

She could finally say that it was all worth it.

It was after graduation and in the height of summer that Firefly realized something she had long pushed out of her mind. Kafka and Stelle fit together like two complicated puzzle pieces perfectly made for each other. And it wasn’t uncommon for her to find one of the two to be napping using the other as a pillow. Sometimes she even found the two napping together.

She walked into their apartment on a breezy afternoon, with her violin packed in its case by her side. Kafka and Stelle were taking a nap together on the couch, or perhaps it was just Stelle, as Kafka’s eyes may have been closed but her mouth was gently whispering something to Stelle.

Firefly had always dismissed such actions as something between two lovers and never thought much of it, but when she got close enough she realized the soft whisperings from one lover to another were actually the murmurings of a song.

From one soulmate to another, they sang.

Firefly realized that despite the fact that she had her hearing aids in at least half the time, she hadn’t heard a single song from her soulmate the entire summer.

Maybe they gave up, she thought bitterly, or maybe even hearing aids weren’t enough for her to reconnect the spiritual tether that had withered away.

She pushed it out of her mind by the end of the hour. She had gone years without thinking of her soulmate. She could be happy without them.

On the first day of classes. Firefly was lost. In fact, she was fairly certain she was lost AND late.

How she got lost when she had been on the campus a few times already, she had no idea.

Firefly checked her phone again, attempting to figure out the map that was on her University’s website. It said she was in the right place, but the building was a completely different name than the one she was supposed to be at.

Maybe it was around the corner…?

She stepped around the corner, head down as she continued to attempt to decipher the map and-

“Oh!”

Firefly jumped as her body nearly collided with someone. She grabbed both the arms of the person and swiveled so they both swapped places, the other person was used as a counterbalance and it stopped their momentum in their tacks.

“Uh.” Firefly blanked. “Are you alright?”

She let go of the random passerby. Firefly’s phone dangled from the strap around her wrist. She was really glad she had ‘odd accessory choices’ as Stelle put it.

“Oh it’s you! I’m alright. Thank you.” The girl smiled. “That was a little fun.”

Firefly’s eyebrows raised. Did they know her? The girl had black hair, a cap and feathered earrings. She looked vaguely familiar.

“I-I’m sorry I don’t recall if we’ve met.” Firefly apologized.

“We have, once.” The girl pouted, but returned to a smile quickly, as if it was only a jest. “But don’t worry too much about it. Are you heading somewhere?”

Well, if she could get directions that would be nice. “Do you know where… Professor Welt Yang is? It’s the history department.”

“Oh I had him last year. They didn’t update the maps online, but the history department was swapped to the tall, circular shaped building in the middle of campus.”

Firefly frowned. She had passed that building twice already. “Thank you.”

“Do you have his class now?” Her green eyes were soft and nice to look at.

“I have it…” She checked her phone. “Ten minutes ago.”

“You should get going then. It’s the first day so I doubt he’ll get upset.”

“Thanks for the help.”

The two started to go their separate ways.

“Hope to see you in more recitals, Miss violinist.” The feathered girl said.

Firefly blinked, not quite sure if she heard her correctly and turned around. The mysterious girl had already disappeared.

“...Huh.” Firefly said, more to herself. She never even got her name.

Chapter Text

They say that a swan sings most beautifully right before its death. That a final performance of a musician or composer would be their greatest.

Such a term was dubbed as-

Swan Song.

Is it fate?

If it’s not easy, it must not be.

Firefly coughed and shivered. She rubbed her arms and cursed the fact that her suit, while long sleeved, did little to protect her from the season that was winter. At the very least she could be appreciative of the fact that it wasn’t raining or snowing.

She sighed and watched the air in front of her fog up.

Her latest recital was less of a recital and more of a showcase that she volunteered to do. She learned quickly that actually being able to book recitals like she had done at her piano trio nearly… nine months ago was not as easy unless one was already somewhat renowned like both Kafka and Stelle were. So her time on stage was limited to a mere ten minutes.

It was a little disappointing, but certainly understandable. She was still only a freshman and still getting the hang of college as a whole. If she had to study for finals as well as practice for an entire recital she was fairly certain that she would have been overwhelmed.

As it was, she did her small showcase and intended to head back to her dorm, only for the director of the music department to catch her as she was packing up and asked to meet her in their office.

…She was pretty certain she hadn’t done anything wrong. Not in college at least.

It was a little daunting to talk to them face to face in an enclosed office area. She really hoped she wouldn’t be told something like how she wasn’t allowed to participate in musical related things unless she was a music student, so therefore she couldn’t since she was declared as a science related major.

Firefly pushed open the building’s doors, sighing in relief that she no longer had to deal with the cold weather. She looked around, circling the inside of the building until she came upon a door that very clearly stated it was the music director’s office.

She knocked twice, her other hand tightening its hold on her violin case.

“Come in!” A voice she recognized from earlier said.

“Excuse me.” Firefly called.

Firefly opened the door and stepped inside to see the very same director of the music department that had stopped her earlier. Her blonde hair had a streak of blue running through it, making her unmistakable as anyone else.

“Oh good it’s you!” Serval Landau, director of music for St. Freya’s university, said.

“Hello Professor Landau.” Firefly greeted. “I… hope it’s not too much to ask why you called me here.”

“Nothing bad I assure you. I simply wanted to ask if you were interested in having your own recital sometime in your sophomore year.”

Firefly blinked. She opened her mouth once, twice, then closed it again as she attempted to process the information that was thrown her way.

“Y-Yes! I would love to. I mean- is that okay? I’m not in the music department or anything.”

“There’s not a restriction on who can book a recital. Although it is much more prioritized to music students during certain periods of time. After all, for juniors and seniors full length recitals are part of their final grade.”

“Oh. Well… if I may ask, why me?”

“Everyone saw your piano trio with Kafka and Stelle earlier this spring. It was wonderful, and for you to be able to do such a thing in high school, along with your disability, a lot of people have their eyes on you.”

Firefly couldn’t help but smile. To think that her friends were still finding ways to support her, even if indirectly, made her happy.

“Thank you. It was a lot of hard work.”

Professor Landau nodded. “Hard work will always be recognized. Now, do you like performing in spring or fall?”

Firefly wasn’t able to sort out everything just yet, as she still had to actually choose what pieces she wanted to perform, not to mention that it was an entire year away since she chose to do it in the spring. But she had gotten her foot in the door and there would be some follow ups at a later date. For now though she just needed to focus on finals.

Which was easier said than done. Why did history class want her to remember who said what random quote? It frustrated her to no end.

She doodled some music notes on the corner of her paper before she filled out a random answer and turned in the test. If she got a C on that test she’d be happy, she had enough padding with the rest of her assignments doing well that her grade wasn’t in any real danger.

Firefly stepped outside and shivered as a particularly cold gust of wind slammed into her. She had on a jacket today, at least. Her plans for the rest of the day was probably go to the gym and-

“Ugh, move it.” Someone said as they shouldered her aside.

Firefly stumbled as she tried to balance herself, and glared at the classmate who did such a thing. A retort welled up inside her but she pushed it down. She could save that when she went to the gym.

Sam went in for a left jab, catching Stelle off-guard. The silver haired pianist took it with ease, and returned with a left hook that Sam had to defend from. The boxer stepped back an inch to create some distance, but Stelle followed it up and invaded her space, forcing Sam to throw out a punch in an attempt to not be overwhelmed.

It worked for a second, before Stelle was back and resumed her flurry. Sam weathered the storm, doing her best to endure it as they felt the barrage against them, and stepped in for a feint. It got the reaction they desired, as Stelle relented to put up a guard against something that didn’t exist, giving Sam space to breathe.

The two stared at each other, gauging each other’s next move, before Stelle put down her guard and nodded, signaling the end of the spar.

Sam nodded as well, stepping outside the ring with their friend and taking off their equipment. Sam stuck a hand in their hair and pulled the band that kept their ponytail snug out, letting silver hair cascade back down.

Firefly shook her head a bit to get her hair back to its natural state.

You were pretty brutal today. Stelle signed after she had a swig of water.

Wasn’t I the same as always? Firefly signed back.

You’re always brutal. Stelle corrected.

Firefly frowned. Brutal wasn’t a term that she really wanted to be associated with, but sometimes fire ran through her veins and she didn’t know where to direct it, or give it an outlet except at the gym or in a spar.

Sorry. Firefly apologized. I didn’t hurt you did I?

Stelle shook her head. All good here. Let me handle a few things and we can call it a day. We’re watching that new movie tomorrow anyways so we should probably sleep early.

That was fine by Firefly. She felt a bit bad about the spar. It was a friendly one, of course. Stelle was outside her weight class so they both had to be careful, but it was more of a means of having fun and enjoying the feel of moving her body than anything else. That didn’t mean she wanted to hurt her friend.

She sighed and it transitioned into a cough. Maybe she was just stressed from her test, and that rude girl from earlier messed with her patience.

Firefly didn’t particularly mind movies, but it wasn’t as if she loved them either. Most of the time she watched them with subtitles just out of old habit, but that particular aspect didn’t exactly translate the best into actually going to a movie theater.

But she remembered why she never went even now, a year after she got her hearing aids. Movies were expensive. Ten credits for popcorn, another seven for a soda, not to mention the actual ticket price was fifteen.

Thankfully Kafka insisted on paying for both her and Stelle. Firefly felt a little bad, but she also wasn’t exactly made of money either. Kafka though?

“You know… I’ve always wondered something.” Firefly spoke up on the way to their auditorium.

“What’s that?” Kafka replied.

“All the instruments at your place are yours, right?”

“Mmm… sure.”

…What did sure mean?

“How did you afford them all? Are you secretly super rich?”

“Oh, that’s simple. I stole them.” Kafka said, casually.

It took Firefly a second to process that. That was… a joke right?

Stelle was frantically shaking her head at Firefly, her hands were full so she couldn’t exactly sign to her, but the message was clear as day.

Don’t ask anymore.

Firefly… chose to follow her friend’s advice.

Hope Is The Thing With Feathers was a movie about two orphans stuck in the middle of a war, growing up and doing their best to survive. Both of them grew up with different ways they wanted to stop the war. One of them wanted to stop it with peace, harmony and love, while the other believed in enforcing order upon all to break free from the shackles of corruption.

It ultimately ended with the sister, the one who wanted to stop it with peace, harmony and love, winning. And although it almost felt pyrrhic in nature, with the brother only backing down at the cost of his life, it was clear that hope would prevail even in the darkest of situations.

Truthfully Firefly enjoyed it a lot more than she thought she would. There was just something… genuine about the main actor. It felt as if she wasn’t just saying things off a script, but rather she truly believed that anything could be accomplished as long as one kept hope in their hearts.

She wouldn’t admit that she quietly teared up a bit at certain scenes.

“I enjoyed that.” Kafka said as they all left the auditorium.

I did too. Stelle signed.

“I really liked the main actress.” Firefly said. “She just felt so… genuine.”

Stelle nodded in agreement. She was really good. Her name is Robin and she started off as a singer but branched out to movies as well.

Firefly filed the name Robin into the back of her mind. She’d have to check her out later.

“She has another movie coming out next year. We should see it.” Kafka said.

Firefly nodded. If it was anything as good as this one, then this Robin actor had a new fan.

Firefly’s last final for her first semester at university ended with ease. Science just came to her naturally.

As she was making an exit from the classroom, she fished her phone out of her pocket and checked the time. She finished thirty minutes early, so that was nice. Maybe she could get a snack in the meantime?

Some movement caught her eye and she looked up to see the classroom next to her open its door and a black haired girl with feathered earrings walk out. Firefly’s eyes caught the stranger’s green ones.

…She looked familiar.

The stranger said something, their mouth moved, but Firefly didn’t catch it. She had turned off her hearing aids mid exam as the background noise from a hundred or so students was getting to her and throwing off her concentration.

She quickly and discreetly turned them back on using her phone.

“Sorry. What was that?” Firefly said.

“I just said fancy meeting you here.” The stranger repeated.

Firefly squinted as she tried to remember where she saw this person last. It took her a second to realize that she was the same person who helped her out on her first day of class.

“Oh! You’re the one who helped me out on the first day of class.” Firefly said. “Thank you for that.”

The two moved off to the side, away from any doors.

“Of course. It’s the least I could do.”

Firefly nodded. “I’m Firefly. It’s nice to meet you… again.”

“I’m Robin. I never introduced myself before.”

Firefly paused as the name Robin made her distinctly remember the actor who carried the same name.They looked…similar enough, but Robin was likely a common name.

She didn’t mention it though. The girl probably got enough comparisons already.

“Did you just get finished with a test?” Firefly asked, then cringed. Obviously she just got finished with a test. No one had classes this entire week unless it was for a final.

“Mmhm. Are you the same?”

“I just got finished with biology. I think I did pretty good.”

“Biology in your first semester? Are you a science major?” Robin asked.

Firefly blinked in surprise. “How’d you guess?”

Robin giggled. It was a nice sound. “Most people start with chemistry in their first semester. My brother and I both did. But if you start with biology it’s because you’re going to have extra science classes so they give priority to incoming freshmen for that class.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know that. Are you a sophomore?”

“I’m a junior, actually.”

“That’s a little surprising.” Firefly said honestly.

“Why’s that?”

Firefly flushed. The true reason was that it was because she looked really pretty and she couldn’t imagine a junior or senior going out of their way to talk to her. But she wasn’t about to say that.

“You’re just… really nice?” Firefly said, though it came out more as a question.

“Really? But you barely know me?”

“I can just tell. I have a good eye for these things.”

“Thank you, then.” There was a small second of silence. “Are you still playing the violin?”

Firefly felt that being surprised was something she was going to have to get used to with Robin. “How did you…”

“I watched the showcase, and I saw your piano trio earlier this spring.” Robin admitted.

Something about that rang a bell. Firefly stared at Robin’s pretty face, trying to remember exactly where she saw her from before. She didn’t see her at the showcase, even though she was there. So it must have been the piano trio…

“Oh! You were the girl that gave me that card with their number on it!”

Robin let out a full blown laugh at that. “Yes, that was me. I was sad when you never called.”

Firefly’s face erupted in red. “I-I’m sorry! I completely forgot. I had to deal with the cleanup afterwards, and then I was graduating high school and-”

Robin laughed again. “Don’t worry! I’m not mad. I was just really happy I got to hear you perform. Your friends were excellent like they always are, but your violin was the highlight for me. I could feel how hard you worked through your song.”

The violinist wasn’t sure if she could get any redder, but the fact that she recognized all her hard work made her really happy.

“Thank you. It makes me really happy to hear that.” Firefly confessed.

Robin gave her a bright smile. Firefly found that she couldn’t quite look away from it.

“Give me your hand. We’ll make this right.”

Firefly didn’t understand the request, but complied. “Here…?”

Robin reached into her bag and pulled out a pink felt pen. Firefly vaguely recognized the ‘non-toxic’ label on it for a second before such a thought was whisked away when Robin grabbed her hand with her own.

Firefly’s thoughts screeched to a halt as she felt just how soft Robin’s fingers were. She barely recognized the pen tip tickling against her skin.

“You have nice hands.” Robin murmured as she finished writing.

“T-Thank you.” Firefly stuttered out.

She took a look at what it was, only to see a series of numbers. It was a phone number, she recognized.

“Make sure to send me a text before you call or I might miss it.” Robin told her, putting away the pen as she did so. Some people started to trickle out of Firefly’s classroom and caught the attention of both of them. “Let’s wrap this up for now. But I’ll see you later alright? Make sure to contact me!”

“U-Uh alright! I will.” Firefly promised.

“Good. I’m going to head off, but I hope you have a nice winter break!”

“You too!”

And with that, Firefly’s first real encounter with Robin ended.

Her cheeks felt hot for the rest of the day.

“...And she said you have nice hands, before writing her number on them?” Kafka recapped.

Firefly nodded. “Yes. Why did you go back to that part?”

Kafka and Stelle shared a look before breaking out into smug smirks.

If you don’t know then you don’t know. Stelle signed.

“I-... what?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just send her a text and ask if she’s free anytime this week.” Kafka waved off her confusion.

Firefly squinted, trying to decipher whatever secrets her best friends were hiding, before giving up. She’d just do as they said. It wasn't as if she was exactly swimming in friends.

At that Age

I cherished the flowers beneath my feet

“I get why we're at the mall but why are we at a bird store?” Firefly asked.

“Earlier today I found a small dove with a broken wing. I called the vet but they told me there’s not much they can do for wild animals. I decided I would take it home and help patch it up, but now I’m in need of a little birdhouse and food for it.” Robin told her. There was a bit of sadness to her tone.

A small thought ran through the back of Firefly’s mind, that Robin should never have to be sad.

“That’s good of you.” Firefly said honestly. “Most people wouldn’t have done that.”

“I think that’s sad.” Robin said, and the way she said it made Firefly feel sad as well. “I think everything deserves a chance to live, don’t you?”

And those green orbs seemed to stare into her soul. Firefly swallowed down some unknown emotion that threatened to make itself known.

Everything… deserved a chance to live.

“Yeah.” Firefly nodded. “I think so too.”

Robin gave her a melancholic smile. It was tinged with happiness at her agreement, and sadness from the situation.

Don’t be sad little angel.

Firefly noticed an advertisement as she was leaving the mall. It was a concert that was being held in the summer. A girl with periwinkle hair was plastered on the front of it.

‘Superstar Robin comes to town!’ It said.

Their eyes looked similar to her friend’s. But that black hair wasn’t anything close to the lavender blue that the idol had.

“I never asked before, but what are you majoring in?” Firefly asked.

Robin adopted a playful look. “How about you take a guess?”

“Uhm… Well not something in the sciences.” Firefly cupped her chin as she thought for a moment. “Music?”

The girl with feathered earrings didn’t look surprised at her answer. “Good guess! It was a bit of a trick question though, so I’m sorry. I’m double majoring in history and music.”

“Oh! That’s… wow. Alright. I could have guessed music but not history.”

“What gave away music?”

“Well, you said you went to a lot of concerts and recitals hosted on campus. I don’t think most people outside of music students are that interested in that kind of stuff.”

“That’s true. We have a lot of students in the music department, so there’s never a lack of audience, but it doesn’t appeal that much to students of other departments unless it’s someone famous.”

Firefly nodded. She got that gist as well. Even she didn’t go to as many student-hosted concerts and recitals as she would have liked to.

“That’s a shame.” Firefly said. “Music is… powerful. I don’t know where I would be in life if I didn’t continue playing the violin.”

She tried to think about it. Would she have spiraled into something unrecognizable? Maybe she would have turned out mostly the same.

“I agree completely. It’s what I love about it. It has the ability to spread hopes and dreams to anyone who wants to listen. To bring cheer to someone on a dark day, and give people something to believe in when all else seems lost.”

“What-” Firefly coughed thrice before restarting her sentence. “What instrument do you play?”

Robin looked a bit concerned at her coughing, but answered anyway.

“I play two. One is the piano.” Robin said, before smiling mischievously.

Firefly waited for them to continue, only to realize as the silence continued on that they weren’t going to. “And the other?” She asked.

Her friend placed a finger to her lips. “That’s a secret. I’m sure you’ll know eventually.”

Firefly raised an eyebrow, amused at her antics. “I’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“I hope you do.”

“Wait, I never asked, why do you major in history as well?”

“Don’t you think it’s wonderful to look back and see how music evolved through different civilizations and throughout history? Those sorts of things shouldn’t just be forgotten, and I’ll do my best to remember them in the event that everyone else forgets.”

Firefly’s second semester of college seemed to fly by with the addition of her new friend. Robin quickly became a new staple in her life. Both Kafka and Stelle were busy with graduation preparation, and as such their time with Firefly was limited, but she found that Robin wasn’t simply a replacement to fill the hole left by their absence but became an entirely new presence that she looked forward to.

How’s the dove? Firefly texted.

It’s doing good! Its wing seems to be healing. Robin replied.

That’s great. I’m glad you saved it.

Look at it! Robin texted her, sending her a picture of the bird in her hand. In the background of the picture was a mirror that showed the lower half of Robin’s outfit. She was in some casual wear, but the thing that stood out was the periwinkle locks of hair that were there instead of the expected black.

Firefly squinted at that, trying to decipher what it meant. Before shrugging. A secret was a secret and she wasn't one to pry.

It looks healthy. You must have done a good job.

Are you doing any violin recitals soon? Robin texted her.

Director Landau is helping me set one up at the end of my sophomore year. But I haven’t been looking for any spaces earlier than that. Firefly replied.

Oh that’s so exciting! I can’t wait for that! It’s so far away though. I’ll ask around if there’s any spots open for student hosted ones.

I mean. Only if you want to, of course.

Firefly chuckled. Maybe if they aren’t too long. I still need to figure out what pieces I want to play.

Let’s figure that out instead! Are you free anytime this week?

How about friday? Firefly texted after a look at her schedule.

Okay! It’s a date!

Firefly blushed. A date? She’d never been on a date before.

Wait- no. What if Robin was just being friendly? A date didn’t necessarily mean romantically.

Or- Hmm… She was at her wits end. She’d just ask her friends.

But then something must have changed in me

I used to feel so light

On her way to meet up with Robin one day, Firefly came across a scene.

It was of three boys. One of them was clearly being pushed around by the others. They had to be of high school age.

Firefly frowned and prepared to step in, when she heard something that made her stop in place.

“I bet your soulmate would never want to be with someone who can’t even hear them. Do us all a favor and stop singing everyday, your gross squeaking makes everyone uncomfortable.” One of the bullies said.

Fire rushed through her veins, like lava bubbling beneath the surface and ready to erupt. She remembered exactly what it was like to be in their shoes before she took control over her emotions and found her best friends.

“Hey.” Firefly said, grabbing the trio’s attention. She dumped her bag onto the side, pulling out a hairband and fixing her hair into a ponytail.

“Huh?”

“Who the hell do you think you are to pick on someone? Do you think you’re tough because you’re with your buddy and they’re alone?” Sam said, a scowl on their face. They got up in the two bullies' faces, despite the fact that the two strangers were taller than them.

“Who the hell are you? Stay out of this.” The taller bully said.

“You think I’m just going to sit and watch you pick on someone?”

“They go on everyday about finding their soulmate or whatever. Everyone knows deaf people can’t hear their soulmates.”

Everyone knows deaf people can’t hear their soulmates. The words echoed in their head.

Sam grit their teeth so hard they feared it might crack. “A person’s worth isn’t decided by their soulmate. They can still be whatever they want. Are you even hearing yourself?”

“Piss off.” He said, attempting to push Sam back.

Sam smacked the hand away before it even got close to them.

“What if you never find your soulmate? What are you worth then? What if you find your soulmate and they realize you bully deaf kids for fun? They’d probably leave you.” Sam said, venom dripping from their words.

The bully flashed with anger. They took a clumsy swing at Sam, only to be rebuked with a jab to the stomach that had them recoil in pain.

They were weak. Inexperienced. Nothing like her bouts at the gym.

“Hey, I think we should get out of here.” The smaller of the delinquent duo said.

“Hell no. I’m going to teach this bitch a lesson.”

“No dude. People are watching. Let’s just go for today.”

Sam stared them down unblinking. The taller one spit at her, only for it to fall short. The duo left shortly after.

There was still lava boiling in their veins. A wildfire that threatened to spread out of control if left unchecked, but they did their best. They still had someone to talk to.

Sam turned and faced the boy who was being bullied. They seemed a little scared until Sam signed to them.

Are you okay? Sam asked.

They blinked in surprise but replied back. I’m okay. Thank you for helping.

Don’t listen to what they say. Keep doing what you love.

“...They’re right though. I can’t hear my soulmate. I sing to them everyday but I can’t hear their response.” The stranger said, this time speaking. “Even with my hearing aids I can’t hear them.”

Sam felt a pain in their heart. It reminded them so much of their past self.

“What grade are you in?”

“I-I’m a sophomore in highschool. Those people were seniors.”

Sam resisted the urge to click their tongue. Absolute bullies they were.

“You have your whole life ahead of you. If you keep singing to your soulmate you’ll find them eventually. And while you’re at it, continue doing whatever it is that you love. You can be a scientist, or a musician, or- or even an astronaut if you want. Your life doesn’t stop at your soulmate.”

“How do you know?”

How did Sam know? How did Firefly know?

They didn’t. But they knew if someone helped them five years ago, that these words would be what they wanted to hear the most.

…It’d been half a decade since they sang.

“I’m also deaf, and I’m a musician, and I’m studying to one day be a scientist to help people like us. I haven’t found my soulmate yet-'' Sam, swallowed down the emotions. ”If I can prevent even one person from losing their hearing then I’d know that I succeded. With or without a soulmate.”

The younger kid smiled at her. “You’re a good person.”

You are too. Sam signed.

I’m going to go now. Thank you, kind lady.

And then they were off.

And Sam sighed.

It always came back to soulmates, didn’t it. Their mood was ruined, and the fire that they had previously pushed down threatened to break free.

Soulmates, soulmates soulmates soulmates. They repeated in their head.

Sam texted Robin that they had to cancel their plans, ten minutes before they were scheduled to meet up.

They didn’t deserve to deal with someone like them.

Sam unloaded everything that they had been taught over the years onto the punching bag. What they lacked in pure muscle they made up in technique. They weaved a right hook into a filler jab into an undercut. Each movement had a purpose, and the punching bag bore their attacks without relent.

If Stelle was their opponent, they wouldn’t be able to get away with such a thing. Her friend was multi-talented, in physicality, in music, in personality. They would block her, or take a hit to rebound with twice the strength. Sam wouldn’t be able to walk it off.

The rush, the thrill, the adrenaline that ran through them as they continued on. How long had it been since they really let loose? Both her friends were busy for another few months, how would Sam last? Who could they talk to for support?

They gave the bag one last punch that echoed throughout their body and left a stinging sensation in their hand. Sam knew they had overdone it when they felt that.

Someone walked up to them from the side of their vision, waving at them as they did so. It was another regular, one that knew to approach them from the front or side rather than the back. Sam always took out their hearing aids during a gym session, so any sounds would be lost on them.

The regular in question didn’t know sign language, so instead they just pointed behind them.

Sam turned around and-

Black hair, green jewels for eyes, feathered earrings.

Sam blanched.

Robin said something to them, something that Sam couldn’t hear. Their mouth moved with what could only be question after question, and Sam could do nothing but stare.

Why was she here?

Why at the gym?

How did she know?

Robin asked another question that faded into silence. Sam knew then they had to speak.

“I-I’m sorry.” Sam said. Their voice reverberated in their throat but fell upon broken ears. “I can’t understand you right now. Just- Just give me a second.”

And with that, Sam retreated back to the locker room. They fumbled with their dial until it opened, grabbing the case that had their hearing aids and slotted them in. As they turned to leave, they saw themselves in the mirror.

Their hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, their ocean blue eyes that faded into pink had faint dark circles under them. Sam reached up and loosened the band in their ponytail, letting their hair fall free.

Firefly stared back into the mirror.

She didn’t want Robin to meet Sam. Sam was… the dark part of her. The part that felt anger at the world. About the injustices she faced and how awful people could be. Sam was described as brutal, who didn’t hold back.

Firefly couldn’t be such a good person that she could just let go of everything that happened to her. So Sam would take the brunt of it and find a way to release it.

“Hi.” Firefly said awkwardly.

“Hi.” Robin returned. She seemed more concerned than anything.

“Sorry that I canceled on you. I just… wasn’t in a good mood.”

“Did something happen? I didn’t know you could box. Why do-” Robin looked around for a second. “Why do people call you Sam here? Why couldn’t you understand me earlier?”

Firefly hesitated to answer, and Robin seemed to catch that.

“Let’s go somewhere else. My place is only five minutes away if we walk.” Robin continued.

“I- Alright. Lead the way.”

The bell jingled as the two walked out. Firefly shifted her bag a bit to get a better grip on it.

The two walked in silence for the first minute. Robin was the one to break the silence.

“You looked nice in a ponytail.” She said, giving her a side glance.

Firefly was surprised at the compliment. She ran a hand through her silver hair. It was messy from the gym session and the haphazard effort she gave when she initially put it up.

“Thank you.”

The two continued in silence until they reached Robin’s apartment. It was bigger than Kafka and Stelle's shared apartment, much cleaner too. Though she blamed Stelle for most of the mess in her friends’ apartment.

“You can leave your shoes at the door.” Robin told her.

“Excuse me…” Firefly muttered to herself as she stepped inside, taking off her shoes in the process and leaving them by the door.

Robin took a seat on the couch and patted the space next to her. Firefly took that as an invite and sat down.

“Do you want anything to drink? Water? Tea?”

“No-” Firefly’s throat decided to make its irritation show at that moment. She coughed three times before she swallowed the rest down. “Maybe, tea, green tea or something.”

“Alright, just sit tight for a bit.”

Firefly took that time to survey the room. She didn’t usually do such a thing, but she felt a little nosy. Robin was someone who was rather secretive despite the fact that she seemed so open about everything.

It was a little bare bones truthfully. There were pictures of Robin (with periwinkle hair, that seemed to solve one mystery about her) and a man who looked similar to her. Firefly figured that was her brother. There were some awards, Firefly couldn’t read exactly what, but she saw a few on top of a shelf.

Another object of note was the winged couch pillows that she was sitting by. They were just regular cushions for a couch, except they had small little white wings coming out of the sides. Firefly thought they were cute.

Robin came back from the kitchen. Firefly could see her the entire time as she was just through one doorway, but decided to give her some peace of mind by focusing on everything but her.

“Here you go.” Robin placed a cup of green tea in front of her. There were two packets of honey that had the logo of one of the local restaurants on it, and three sugar cubes on the saucer. “I wasn’t sure if you liked it anyway in particular so I got you some honey and sugar.”

“Thank you.” Firefly said, tearing open a honey packet and squeezing it into her tea. She twirled it around a bit with the spoon provided and took a sip. It was hot and nice. “So… what exactly did you want to know?”

“Firstly.” Robin started, before grabbing a winged couch cushion and pushing it into Firefly’s arms. It was just big enough that she could hug it without any real trouble.

“Heh.” Firefly snorted.

Robin took a sip of her own tea. “Well… how about you start with why you had to cancel?”

Firefly fiddled with a lock of her silver hair. “Alright. I was on my way to meet up with you when I came across some dumb high school kids bullying a deaf kid. I couldn’t just let that happen so I stopped it. After that I just… was in a bad mood so I felt like you didn’t deserve that.”

“You did a good thing. I… still don’t really understand. How about you tell me why you were at the gym.”

She stared at Robin. A part of her didn’t want to tell the nice girl about her disability. Perhaps deep down she was afraid of being rejected as a person. Being told that she didn’t matter.

Firefly sighed. This was going to sound stupid. It was going to sound weird. She hadn't even told her other friends about why she wanted to be called Sam while in the gym. But she would have to barrel through it.

“I’m deaf.” Firefly said bluntly.

Robin blinked in surprise, but made no other motion.

“When I lost my hearing years ago I had people that I knew for years start to bully me. I wasn't exactly friends with them or anything and I tried my best to ignore it, but I couldn’t.” Firefly continued.

“I’m sorry that happened to you...”

Firefly waved it off. “It’s not your fault and it happened years ago. At some point I was nearing my breaking point. My deafness is the result of an illness. It- That part doesn’t matter. But I went into a gym one day, I saw Stelle there, along with Kafka, and I thought that I didn’t want to be myself. Firefly was weak, but she was a good person. So I decided I would be called Sam and improve myself.”

She shook her head. The more she said it out loud the more stupid it sounded. She knew why she did it, it was essential for her. But to explain it to someone else… made her feel vulnerable.

“It’s- It’s a stupid thing I know. I just wanted to take back control of my life.” Firefly went silent before she let out a singular sad laugh. “I don’t think I’ve even told my best friends this before.”

Robin was silent for a minute as she processed

“...I think that you’ve done a great job for yourself. I don’t think it’s stupid.” Her friend shook her head. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I’m not even sure if I properly conveyed myself, but if you say so.”

“I understood it. Is that why you were bothered so much when you saw that kid being bullied? It reminded you of yourself?”

Firefly nodded. “When I’m Sam I feel like I can do anything and nothing is too scary, but I also feel like I lose a bit of my humanity when I’m them. People call me ‘brutal’ or ‘scary’ when I box. Even though I’m light for a boxer, I always have to focus on my technique above all else. I think that applies even to the violin.”

“I think I understand where you’re coming from. You trusted me and shared something personal to you. I’ll do the same, I’ve been meaning to for some time anyways.”

Firefly put her full attention on her friend, curious to what she had to say.

“Sometimes I have to be what people expect of me. I have to be this flawless, perfect being that the public wants me to be, when that’s just not possible. I have fears, I get angry, I get sad just like anyone else.” Robin said, reaching up into her black hair as she did so.

Firefly blinked- Wait, was she going to-

Robin tore off her black hair, revealing it to be a wig. A cascade of lavender fell around her as her natural hair color showed itself to the world. She shook her hair, using one hand to straighten it from the bundle mess that it became, and then gave her a beaming smile.

“Surprise!” Robin said.

Firefly stared open mouthed.

“I also have a secret identity, sort of. So I do know what it’s like.” Robin continued.

“...I kind of figured it out a while ago.” Firefly muttered.

Robin went wide eyed. “Really? How?”

“I-I mean your name is Robin, you have green eyes, you’re extremely into music and you look practically identical to all your posters.” Firefly pointed out.

Robin’s jaw dropped. “Oh.” She pouted. “And here I thought I did a good job at hiding it.”

Idly, Firefly thought that her pouting was really cute. It paired especially well with her natural hair color.

“I think you did. I don’t think anyone else knew and I only figured it out because you sent me that picture of the dove.”

Robin thought for a second. “What gave it away in the picture?”

“Well. Your hair was in the picture.”

“...Haha. Oops.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to reveal this to derail your conversation, but to tell you that I understood.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“Part of what I’ve done… is that I don’t really use a different name. I can’t claim it’ll be the same for you, but I think of each character I have to play a part of myself. I could be Robin the singer that many people look up to, or I could be the junior in college Robin and they’re still me, just two different aspects that I swap between. I’m not sure if that will help you, or if you’re even looking for a solution. But I think every part of you is beautiful, and none of that should be hidden away.”

Firefly couldn’t help the redness creep up her cheeks at the word beautiful. “I suppose. I’m not ashamed of my deafness. But I don’t want to be thought of as someone who’s brutal. I… can try your way. They’re both part of me after all.”

“Great! It’ll be a team effort and I’ll be with you every day of the way.”

The silver haired girl laughed. “Alright. We’ll do this as a team.”

“And of course, teams start with introductions!”

Firefly furrowed her brow. “But we already know each other?”

Robin shook her head, and then got a look on her face as if she was concentrating.

Hello! Robin signed clumsily. I’m R-o-b-i-n. Nice to meet you!

Firefly stared, and stared, and stared until a bright smile broke out on her face. Really, this girl two years her senior just kept throwing surprise after surprise at her.

Hello Robin. I’m F-i-r-e-f-l-y. Nice to meet you. She signed back.

And that was how Sam’s job finished, and Firefly felt whole once more.

Now I’ll try

So I never actually told them that my name is Firefly. The silver haired violinist signed.

“What?!” Robin shouted, parts of her hair scattered above her eyes as she did so. “You never told your best friends your name is Firefly?”

“I-uh. No?” Firefly said, swapping to speaking. “They figured out what I wanted without me ever having to say anything. They’re pretty smart.”

Robin stared at her, completely flabbergasted. “No! That won’t do. I’m calling Kafka right now and telling her that you want to meet up with her and Stelle. You need to do this the right way. They’re your best friends!”

“Wait wait wait. We don’t need to- Wait you have Kafka’s number?”

She looked a bit embarrassed. “I may have asked her a few things about you. It’s also how I knew you were at the gym.”

Firefly went silent as a lot of things started to suddenly make sense. “Oh.”

“Hi Kafka.” Robin said to her phone. “Are you free right now? Firefly is with me and she has something she wants to announce.”

Firefly stared as she saw her newest friend (had it really already been half a year?) talk to her oldest friend.

“Oh you are? Great! This will just be really quick, I know it’s finals season.” Robin said before hanging up.

“Wow.” Firefly said, not quite sure what she was feeling. Apprehension? Dread? Relief?

“Come on we’re-” Robin’s face fell as if something dawned on her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I… set all this up without even asking if you’re okay with it.”

Firefly may not have known what exactly it was she was feeling, that was a mixed bag that felt all jumbled together, but she knew that Robin had only her best intentions in mind. She never wanted to see her sad.

“No, you’re right. I need to do this. It’s only proper. I think it’s been weighing on me for a long time too.”

Robin gave her a smile. “Let’s go then, they’ll meet us at the coffee shop.”

Seeing her two closest friends once more brought a smile naturally to her face. She just couldn’t help it. They hadn’t been in the gym in a while and the most they could talk was texting, even though it was sporadic. She knew the two of them were hard at work with their final recital before graduation.

Kafka gave her that usual small smile and Stelle gave her a wave.

“Hello you two.” Robin said, starting off the conversation as both she and Firefly sat down across from the couple.

“Hello. Not everyday do I see a duo like this.” Kafka commented.

Hello! Stelle waved again.

Robin smiled at them and gave Firefly a look. Firefly took that as a sign.

“Uhm. Hi you two. It’s been a while since we’ve all met up. I just wanted to do something I should have done years ago.” She said, twirling a lock of her silver hair in her hands before she signed the rest.

Just like they had done years ago.

Hi, my name is Firefly. I’m sorry it took so long to say this, but it’s nice to meet you two. You’re my best friends.

Stelle was the one to respond first. I don’t really get it fully, but I’m glad you felt like you could open up to someone. It’s nice to meet you Firefly. I’m Stelle.

Kafka followed it up. I’m happy for you. I’m Kafka, it’s nice to meet you Firefly.

And that was how, after half a decade of already knowing each other, Firefly introduced herself to her friends.

Robin elbowed her. “Did you tell them about your deal with the director?”

Firefly blinked, oh. She knew she was forgetting something.

Kafka and Stelle’s final duet was a thing of beauty. It was like watching an intimate dance on stage, where the music was merely an accessory to the love that was evident between the two. It permeated the auditorium, filling it and making it clear that they were meant for each other.

“I’m a little jealous.” Robin admitted from their seats after the performance was over.

“Of what?” Firefly asked quietly.

“Their bond is as clear as day. I’d like something like that too, don’t you?” Robin asked, turning to look at Firefly.

Her beautiful jade eyes locked Firefly in place.

“Yeah.” Firefly murmured. “I do.”

I just want time

What about Vivaldi’s Winter? Kafka signed.

Firefly grimaced. That sounded scary. She moved to reply but was interrupted by a cough that left her dizzy.

Kafka gave her a concerned look, but Firefly waved her off.

Too skilled. I’m not you. Firefly signed back.

You’re skilled enough for it. I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t think you were capable. I could teach you too.

Firefly thought about it. I’ll get back to you on that. Do you think the rest are good?

It’s a good lineup. You’ll do great.

Firefly unloaded into a punching bag. She went through her usual routine, and the fire that ran through her veins felt tempered and in control. There was a burn that started to build in her muscles, a nice, relaxing one that always signaled a workout well done.

She turned to Robin who was sitting on a bench, staring at her. There was a tiny hint of red on her white cheeks.

I’m done. Firefly signed.

Robin didn’t respond even if her eyes followed her as the silver haired girl approached.

Robin? I’m done. She signed again.

Firefly watched as Robin blinked and seemed to realize she existed. She turned down to look at Firefly’s hands, which were around chest level, and then back to her face, and then back down. Then her friend looked away entirely.

Okay. I’ll- Firefly waited as Robin’s signing cut off halfway. I’ll wait for you.

Firefly frowned. Was she feeling okay?

Firefly woke to a dizziness that had her vision swimming. It passed quickly enough that she wasn’t late to her meetup with Robin, who was waiting for her in a nondescript car with tinted windows.

“Ready for the beach?” Robin said. She had sunglasses on which hid her green orbs, as well as a cap. Her lavender hair was proudly on display.

“I’ve never been.” Firefly admitted.

“Neither have I. But I’m glad that we’re going together.”

When the world was silent, and the sun was setting, Firefly found herself sitting shoulder to shoulder by Robin. They were under a singular umbrella.

It was a nice day. She had fun.

She felt her heart leap up when Robin’s head softly lowered itself onto her shoulder.

Firefly found that nothing else in the world felt more natural.

Wait again

I will be much better than

Summer sped by, along with the first half of her first semester as a Sophomore.

Firefly’s practice was interrupted by a horrible wave of nausea that ran through. She felt her knees near buckle as the world refused to stay put. She held onto a chair to steady herself, and found that an entire ten minutes had gone by when she was able to regain her strength.

“Have you eaten yet?” Robin asked.

“Not yet.”

“You haven’t? It’s nearly dinnertime.” Her idol friend frowned.

“I got sucked into practice. I wanted to perfect this one song.” Firefly said.

Robin sighed. “Don’t push yourself okay? I care about you.”

Firefly watched the recording back. She cringed when she messed up the same part that she had been working on for the past few hours. How long was she going to mess that up? She still had six months until the recital, but it was frustrating her to no end.

“I have a present for you.” Robin said one day.

“What is it?”

Her close friend pulled out a bundle of tickets and placed them into Firefly’s hands. “Three VIP tickets to my concert this winter. I had to pull some strings to get them, even if it’s my own concert the organizers don’t like handing them out for free.”

Firefly was stunned. She couldn’t help the bright smile bloom on her face. “Thank you! I think Stelle is a huge fan of yours and it’ll be wonderful to see you perform live.”

“I really hope you enjoy it. I’ll be working extra hard because I know you’re in the audience.”

Her heart fluttered just the tiniest bit hearing that.

Firefly powered through her dizziness. She continued with her song, using the strings against her fingertips as a guide for where her eyes failed her.

“Are you sure you’re okay? There was nothing odd, maybe a few numbers a bit lower here or there but nothing outside of the expected range.” Natasha asked her at the checkup.

Firefly considered telling the truth, that she had been feeling dizzy, she had a cough that was getting worse. But she hesitated.

What if she was forced to stop playing music? What if she had to cancel her recital? It wasn’t that bad at the moment. As long as she continued to eat healthy and work out she’d probably be fine.

“No, I’m alright.” Firefly lied.

“Hmm. Alright, just make sure you get enough sleep. It’s faint but you have dark circles under your eyes.”

Firefly nodded. She’d double up on eating fish. That was always healthy.

Do you want to do a duet? Robin signed to her.

Firefly raised an eyebrow. Of what?

Singing? Maybe a piano and violin?

I don't sing. Firefly replied. But I'd love to do a piano-violin duet with you. Maybe after your graduation since I know you're going to have your concert and a recital for your final.

Why don't you sing? Robin asked.

Because singing to her soulmate when she couldn't hear them was cruel. Because she wasn't sure if there was even a tether to her soulmate left.

Deaf people can't hear their soulmates. She confessed.

I don’t think my soulmate can hear me. Robin admitted.

Firefly’s eyebrows rose. It was the first time she had talked about soulmates with the girl. Maybe that was why she knew sign language.

Do you think that someone can be happy without finding their soulmate? Firefly signed, asking.

I’m happy right now, with you.

The day of Robin’s concert, Firefly woke up shivering and coughing. She spent hours doing her best to pull herself together in an attempt to go, if only for a few hours. Nothing worked.

Food refused to stay down. She had a fever that made her feeling like she was simultaneously boiling alive and also freezing.

She coughed, and coughed, and couldn’t stop coughing.

When she pulled away her hand, she saw flecks of blood stain it.

Firefly stared at it. Stared at the crimson that dyed her hands. She thought back hazily to the past year, to her sickness even further back, to her hearing and what she once had.

Was this it? She thought.

Did she only get twenty short years?

She had to make it to her recital at least.

If she could shine brightly on her own, at least once.

Then she could move on with no regrets.

Sorry. I came down with a bad cold and won’t be able to make it. She texted her friends.

Please stay safe! Robin texted back, a mere hour before she had to go live. I’ll visit you as soon as I can. Please wait for me.

“You're so pale.” Robin murmured, one hand pressed against Firefly's cheek.

Careful. I don't want to get you sick. Firefly signed.

“I'll be okay. I'm just worried about you.”

Do you do this for all your friends?

“No. Only you.”

Ah. Her heart ached. What was such a feeling called?

Kafka. Teach me Vivaldi. Firefly said when her cold passed.

Kafka raised an eyebrow. Are you sure? You only have two months left.

Firefly nodded. Please. And if you and Stelle could help me out for one final song in my recital.

Anything for you.

“Your elbow should be higher in this section or you'll run into problems when playing it.” Kafka instructed.

You really want Schubert's Serenade as your final song in the recital? Stelle signed.

Firefly nodded. Yes.

Alright. It's a good contrast If Vivaldi is your second to final song. Just doesn't exactly fit with the rest of your songs.

I'm sure.

“You're off. You need to go even faster in this part. If you slow for even a second you'll fall behind.” Kafka told her.

Firefly inhaled deeply. Exhaustion crept into her every action but she kept going.

“...I really think you should take a break.” Robin said, fiddling with Firefly's silver hair.

I'm taking one right now. Firefly signed from Robin's lap.

“Promise me you'll rest more after your recital. We still have a duet to do.”

Holding on, I said

“I will be much better, then”

Of course. Firefly lied.

Firefly pushed through her sickness. She perfected Vivaldi's Winter with a day to spare. Schubert's Serenade came to her naturally, almost as if it called to her.

It made sense to her.

For Schubert, the composer, it was their Swan Song.

It would be hers too.

Firefly stared down at the crowd. The nameless, faceless audience. They were nothing but a blur, all save for one girl with green eyes in the front row.

Don't take your eyes off me, little bird.

Her head was spinning, her limbs felt like lead, yet she picked them up and brought her violin to ready position.

They felt stuck, like they had turned into concrete. No matter how much she pushed her bow refused to move.

This wasn't right. Was she so weak that she couldn't move a simple instrument?

Perhaps the audience was whispering. Perhaps they were looking at her and wondering why she hadn't started. Maybe they were mocking her, the poor little girl on the verge of a breakdown.

No.

She would push through. Just like she had in the past.

Firefly felt lava flood her veins. Felt one of her limbs burst into fire as she sacrificed it to fuel the rest of her body.

Her bow struck true, and off she went. Her song started hard and fast, a melody that swept people in with a devouring tide. It crashed into the audience and sucked them under the water, suffocating them with her music.

A song rushed by, perfectly executed just as she had practiced, and she sacrificed another limb to the flames to fuel her performance even more.

It was a slow one, one that lured in people with it's sweet lullaby. They would walk forward, entrapped by the siren's song as she swiftly delivered a decisive blow, enrapturing them with her talent.

Two more limbs burst into flames. She felt as if she was so close to taking off from the ground. Just a bit more to finally lift off.

Vivaldi's Winter came on, and she sacrificed the rest of her body. She remembered each and every instruction from her friend. Faster and faster she played as she ceased to be herself.

She felt herself ascending. Felt the strings of destiny on her back, and she set them ablaze.

It was her life.

She would go out how she wanted.

Her name was Firefly.

She ascended to the skies, a great inferno enveloped her, burning the skies in her color and shining across all of the night. She would shine the brightest of them all. She would become a star, so bright that everyone would be forced to look at her.

So that someone, anyone, would remember that she had lived.

And then-

Like her strings had been cut, as if her flames had been extinguished-

She fell to the ground-

And began her Swan Song.

Please. Remember that I lived.

Her violin pressed against the strings, and she could feel herself dive into the story of the song. The soft backdrop of the piano, and the tiniest plucking of the cello echoed within her mind.

She was in an old house, shaded and well-kept despite its age. It was her house, one that she lived in many, many years ago.

Her lover was with her. Simultaneously both old and young. The last time she saw them was a lifetime ago. How long had they waited to reunite with them? She was lost to the grasp of death when she was young, but her lover continued on. Staying in their home, never finding another, never moving elsewhere.

Firefly grasped her bow, rising high with the strings and letting the dance start.

She could feel the hands of her lover, clasped tightly as they began to move in synchrony. She could feel their heartbeat, their warmth, the longing as they were finally together once more.

Her shoes would tap against the ground, soft yet direct movements as she went through the motions of the dance. She could feel the delicate reciprocation of her lover as the dance sped up just by a beat.

Firefly pulled her bow back, a long mellow note.

She dipped her lover, slowly and gently. Her lover trusted her fully, and left themselves to their mercy fully.

Firefly rose it once more, the strings hummed alongside the piano and the cello.

They continued their dance, like a receding tide she pulled her lover back up and they spun around each other.

She had waited her entire life to dance with her lover again. Had watched over them even from the afterlife, making sure they were safe and felt loved even in the coldest of nights.

Firefly slowed her playing, the strings sang one long beat in harmony with the other duo of instruments before she lifted her bow. Her instrument went quiet as the piano and cello softly continued.

In every life. In every universe. They would find each other. They would dance with each other.

Their lives could be short, their lives could be long, but their love would remain.

Because they promised each other.

Because they loved each other.

And soon after, their instruments went quiet as well, and the song came to an end.

She placed her violin down as her two best friends came up alongside her to front stage. Together they bowed as the audience erupted into polite applause.

Firefly could hardly see them. The stage lights were blinding, and the ground moved like the waves.

But she knew that she played perfectly.

That she had shined as brightly as she could.

Firefly knew that everything went exactly as she hoped for. That any and all worries had been laid to rest with such a wonderful performance.

She stepped off backstage after her bows. Her friends said something to her, she couldn’t hear them. Her head was ringing. Her face felt flushed. The world spun.

“I’m okay.” She smiled at them, waving off their worry. “I’ll join everyone in the meet and greet in a bit. I just want some water.”

Her two friends nodded and the couple left her by her lonesome in the backstage.

Everything spun.

She coughed, and coughed, and couldn’t stop coughing.

Firefly felt like she was drowning. Like her body was failing and she could feel darkness at the edges of her vision.

Her feet and hands tingled, like the soft touch of death were going to grab them first.

She felt a bead of sweat trickle down her face, and collapsed into a nearby chair. Her strength was failing her, and everything was a blurry mess.

Firefly felt herself move, as if some entity turned her around and sat her upright. She could see orbs of green in her vision, and a curtain of periwinkle that reached down and softly tickled her face.

Ah…

She briefly imagined them to have a halo, not one of light but of a metal-like substance. One end of the halo branched off into three flowers.

There were wings, just behind their ears, and gemstones that decorated her face.

She felt wetness drip onto her face. Their mouth moved yet no sound came out.

Why, sweet angel, why do you cry?

Firefly recognized that her last thoughts were of Robin before she plunged into the suffocating abyss of darkness.

It was dark.

Like a void that swallowed the sun. She looked left, right, and despite that, she could still hardly make out the silhouette of objects.

But even then, she recognized where she was.

She could never forget her home after all.

It was the place she had grown up for the first eighteen years of her life. Only ever leaving when she moved to the dorms.

Firefly softly traced the table, it was low so young kids could sit at it, which meant the older kids always had to do funny things with their legs to make sure they fit. She remembered thinking it hilarious until she was the one who had to do the very same thing she laughed at.

She moved through the home, going into the hallway and finding her own room. All the other doors were locked, but when she put her hand and turned on her own room, it opened with the same squeak that never got fixed even after being there for as far back as she could remember.

Firefly looked around the room. She could see a small backpack off in the corner, with music books opened on top of a desk and homework by its side. There was a small, oval shaped mirror that sat at the far end of the desk. It was the same one she had used everyday to make sure her hair was brushed correctly.

She picked it up and blinked in surprise.

Her long silvery hair was the same, as well as her ocean blue eyes that tapered off into a pink that reminded her of dawn. But her reflection was younger, much younger.

“Hi.” Her young reflection said.

“Hi.” She said back.

“What’s your name?”

“...My name is Firefly.”

Her reflection smiled. “Mine is too!”

“...It’s a nice name.”

“I love my name! What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I’m twenty.” Firefly chuckled. “I’m already grown up.”

“So what? You never stop growing!”

“Oh. I-I guess a musician and a scientist then.”

“Really? That’s so cool! I want to be loved and give someone lots of love!”

Firefly blinked. She… what?

“You do?”

“Yeah! There’s a lot of other kids at home. I want to find someone that’s just for me! Like a soulmate! I can become a scientist or musician at any time, but I want someone to see me for me!”

It was a childish, nonsensical explanation. But… Firefly understood it.

“But… what if you can’t find your soulmate?”

“I’ll find them!”

“What if… what if you lose your hearing and you can’t hear their song anymore?”

“I’ll find them even without that, because we’re soulmates!”

Was she… ever like this? She didn’t think so. No, she was reserved, she never cared much for soulmates…

But… maybe… deep down…

“...Isn’t it scary if you find them? They’ll wonder why you never heard them for so long. What if they judge you? What if they don’t want you?”

“They won’t! Because we’re soulmates!”

“How do you know?”

“I just know! Just like I know your soulmate is out there, waiting for you too!”

She laughed.

I'm not sure about that. Firefly swapped to signing.

But I'm sure! Her young reflection signed back.

I haven't heard them in years. I haven't sang to them in years. They probably forgot I existed.

They're waiting for you right now! You just need to sing to them!

What? No- I can't. It's too cruel to just sing to them.

You can! It's time to wake up from your dreams Firefly! You still have so much to do!

So please-

Wake-

Up!

Firefly groaned as she crawled back into the land of the living. Her body felt stiff and sore and there was something poked into her arm…?

Her vision was a hazy mess. She blinked to clear away the fog, and squinted at the waves of lavender hair sprawled out on her lap. She could recognize Robin’s figure asleep at the side of her… bed.

There was a monitor next to her, one that she was hooked up to. She saw the cord hooked up into her arm and frowned. Despite her grogginess, she felt miles better than she had in weeks. How long had it been that she didn’t have a pounding headache, or a lingering pang in the corner of her eyes when she attempted to look anywhere except straight?

Firefly shook her friend a little, attempting to wake them up. Robin stirred quickly, getting up and her halo of hair fell back down to its natural state. She blinked her green orbs at her twice before they went wide she shouted something that was swallowed into the void of silence.

They stared at her for a second, before shaking her head and signing. You’re awake! I was so worried!

I barely even remember what happened. I think I had a weird dream. Firefly replied.

You fainted after your recital. I found you half passed out backstage.

Firefly furrowed her brows as she tried to remember. She had vaguely recalled thinking about Robin in her last moments of consciousness. She saw green eyes and a curtain of light draped over her. As if an angel had descended to take her to the next life.

But no, that was Robin?

Oh. I remember now. Firefly signed, feeling a bit embarrassed. She had likened her friend to an angel, and certainly her beauty was ethereal, but still…

Firefly thought she was dying. That the months of coughing, weeks of headaches and dizziness were her body finally giving up on her. So why was she still alive?

Someone else walked into the room, Firefly recognized her as Natasha, her doctor for her illness. She was fairly certain that Natasha had her own clinic, so what was she doing in the hospital? Or the ER? Or… wherever she was.

Natasha said something, then looked at Firefly as if awaiting a response. She frowned when she didn’t get one and then looked around, spotting a tray with her hearing aids in it and passing it to her.

“Thank you.” Firefly said as she put them in. She cringed a little when she realized they were still on, she hoped the battery wouldn’t die anytime soon.

“Of course. What I was saying earlier is that it’s good you’re awake.” Natasha said to her. “Are you okay with having your girlfriend stay with you while I give you a rundown on everything?”

“Uh.” Robin’s cheeks went a little red. “I can step out if needed.”

Firefly shook her head. Whatever she had to say wouldn’t change the fact that she was Firefly, and her illness was a part of her. If it even had anything to do with that. That was probably the least she could do to the girl who probably dragged her outside and called for help.

“She can stay.” Firefly said.

“Alright. Since we’ve known each other for the better part of a decade by now, I can tell you probably have questions. So let’s face them one at a time. You, Firefly, have a minor fish allergy.”

Firefly blinked. “I… do?”

“Yes. I got a list of your symptoms leading up to your fainting, which was only a few hours ago by the way, from a few of your friends and I thought something was a bit off. Does nausea, dizziness, shortness of breath, or coughing ring a bell?”

“Yeah. I’ve had those for the past few months. I thought I was dying.”

Robin gave her a shocked look. Firefly did her best to ignore the pang in her heart from that.

Natasha frowned. “Well no, you’re not dying. In fact your vitals are all fine. You fainted because you didn’t eat anything all day.”

Robin was boring holes into her with her stare. Firefly tried to remember if that fact was true and… well, she couldn’t exactly recall eating anything besides a cup of tea to help wash down some medicine.

Oh.

“But… my exhaustion, and fever, and I coughed up blood one time.”

“That’s a little concerning to hear, but according to our superstar here you had a cold around December or January?”

Firefly nodded. “I missed her concert because of it.”

“Did you ever give yourself time to rest and relax so your body could recover after your fever broke?”

“...No. I was… practicing for my recital.”

Robin’s face was carefully blank. It was a scary expression to see on someone who was usually so bright and happy.

“You’re a smart kid, please make sure to get some rest when you’re sick. Everything was exacerbated because you never took the time to actually rest up which worsened even your food allergies. Also, try to avoid fish. Other than that, you’re good to go.” The doctor told her.

Firefly’s hearing aids beeped, signaling its low battery. Firefly didn’t have her case on her, as she left it back at her dorm prior to her recital.

She and Robin walked side by side. Night had fallen and the skies were shining bright in the sky. Her friend was dressed in a large coat that hid most of her features, yet she still managed to pull off the look.

Robin had yet to say anything the entire time. Firefly felt a pit in her stomach. She hated seeing her friend like that. It brought up so many complicated emotions that Firefly couldn’t keep a lid on.

“Uhm.” Firefly started, she hesitated on what to say. “I’m sorry.”

“I was really scared, you know. You’d been pushing yourself really hard. I knew the recital was important to you but I didn't think it was so important that you felt as if you’d rather die than get help.” Robin sulked.

“I- That’s not…” Firefly tried to deny, before sighing. She looked around a bit before pulling her friend by her hand to a nearby bench. Their surroundings were as empty as could be.

“What is it?” Robin asked.

“I have an illness. A disease. It’s… something that I’ve always had. It took my hearing five years ago.” Firefly explained.

“I remember you telling me this.” Robin murmured.

“People with my illness generally don’t live long. I… I wasn’t sure what was going on with my body. I wasn’t sure if it was my body giving up on me after twenty years, or if something else was going to be taken. Maybe it would be my sight next, or maybe something else. I-I didn’t want to just let myself fold to whatever destiny had in store for me. I wanted to create something, to shine so brightly that everyone could see who I was. I wanted to have control over my own life.”

Robin was silent. “I care about you a lot, Firefly. I-I wish I could do something to help. I wish I had known. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone.”

Firefly felt her heart twist. “I care about you too.”

Robin shook her head. “It’s more than that. I care about you. I care about your music, and your passions. I care about how you want to help others who are like you. The way you push through and continue doing what you love despite everything the world has thrown at you. It’s… inspiring. I can’t help but want to be by your side for all of it.”

Her breath had been stolen away. She really… felt that way? About her?

“B-But I’m just…”

“You’re wonderful, Firefly.” Robin smiled at her. It was a smile so gentle that it brought a warmth to Firefly’s cheeks. “Even if you are a little dense.”

“I-I can’t help it…”

“I know.” Robin traced a circle with her thumb on Firefly's hand. “I think I could be happy with you.”

All those complicated feelings felt like they were springing free. She could say those words back, pray and hope that Robin meant them in the same way that she meant them. Her heart fluttered for Robin. Fluttered for her touches, her gaze. A yearning for more.

“Can I sing you a song?” Robin asked.

“Of course. I'm sorry for not being able to attend your concert.”

Robin shook her head. “That's not important. What's important is that I want to sing just for you.”

Firefly was speechless. Happiness welled up at such a confession. “I'd love to hear it.”

“...I never could find my soulmate. We sang together for a bit before they disappeared. Sometimes I think about them, but I realized that I don't need them to be happy so long as I'm with you.”

Firefly's throat felt thick with emotion. “I feel the same way. I could never find mine. I went deaf nearly half a decade ago and lost the ability to hear them.”

“I’ve never released this song anywhere. It’s something that I’ve been working on for years. I’ve been waiting for a special moment to sing it, and I think you deserve to hear it.”

Robin took a deep breath, and for the first time, Firefly heard her sing in person.

Birds are born with no shackles.

The words itched the recess of her memories. So familiar, yet so untouched. She could feel bubbles start to form from deep within herself.

She had heard these words before.

Then what fetters my fate?

But where? And when?

She searched through her memories, rushing back to the past year and a half. Did Robin ever sing it to her before? No, she would have remembered being witness to such an angelic voice.

Blown away, the white petals-

Her hearing aids beeped thrice, signaling that it was about to die. Firefly’s pulse rushed as she struggled to remember exactly where it was. Maybe it was before she lost her hearing. Had Firefly ever met Robin before then?

She needed more time. If only she had more charge for her hearing aids.

Her heart ached. Why? Why did they have to die now?

Leave me trapped in the cage.

Her hearing aids flickered, and like a switch the rest of her world went silent. The soft rustling of the leaves went mute, the wind ceased its melody.

Ah… Why couldn’t she just have one thing to herself? To hear Robin’s song, that she was singing just for her.

She closed her eyes as she had to stop the torrent of emotion from breaking through.

The endless isolation-

…What? She opened her eyes as quickly as she had shut them. She could see Robin, her own eyes closed as she continued to sing.

Why… could she hear her?

Can’t wear down my illusion-

No… she knew… where this song was from.

She had met Robin. But she had met them in a different way than everyone else. She had met them in a unique way that only one person had ever done so.

Tears welled up as memories bubbled up of her soulmate, singing day after day. Of lyrics that were etched into her mind.

Someday, I’ll make a dream unchained.

The next words fluttered out of Firefly as if second nature.

“Let my heart bravely spread the wings.” She whispered in time with Robin.

She could see confusion spread onto Robin’s face as she opened her eyes. Green orbs stared at her as Firefly continued onto the next line.

“Soaring past the night-”

Firefly watched as Robin’s brow furrowed, and her song faltered, the way that she struggled to connect the dots of the only way that Firefly could ever know such a song.

“To trace the bright moonlight!”

Robin’s eyes went wide. Tears began to spill forth from those emerald orbs that Firefly loved so much.

Had she realized it?

Had she noticed?

“Let the clouds heal me of the stings-” Robin picked the song back up, singing together with Firefly.

Firefly let her tears spill freely.

Because she had found her.

“Gently wipe the sorrow off my life.”

“I dream.”

She had found her soulmate.

Robin wrapped her in a hug as the two cried.

I found you. Firefly could hear even when the words died upon her ears.

I found you I found you I found you.

Firefly squeezed her soulmate as tight as she could.

I’m right here. She whispered back.

“So what’s so special about this place?” Robin asked her, their hands intertwined.

“It’s the park that I went to so often when I was younger. That building there was my home for the first eighteen years of my life.” Firefly said, pointing to a nondescript building of medium size.

“Oh! It’s a bit late for a home visit though.” Robin muttered.

It had been several days since they had realized they were each other’s soulmate. And Firefly wanted to show her other half something integral to her. Her home was something she planned on showing eventually, but not just yet. Her plan was with the park.

The night sky twinkled in happiness.

“I’ll show you that on a later date. But for now, I want to show you where I first heard your voice.”

Robin smiled warmly, it seemed to brighten up the park despite the general darkness from the night.

“That’s lovely. I’ll have to return the favor and introduce you to my home town, and my brother as well.”

“I used to… get down on the grass and gaze up at the stars. Sometimes I would sing and sometimes I would just lie down and feel the wind rustle the grass. I always loved the way it would poke through my hair and tickle my neck. I’m a bit old for that now, though.”

Robin gave her a peculiar look, before she patted down the grass and then suddenly laid back, bringing Firefly down with her.

Firefly stumbled into the crook of Robin’s neck, feeling both the soft plush of her soulmate’s hair and the tickling of the grass blades against her.

“You can never be too old to go stargazing.” Robin chided her with a smile.

Firefly giggled. “I guess you’re right.”

“Now, what song in particular did you like singing the most?”

Firefly thought for a second, before she settled upon a song.

“There was this one song that always helped me when I felt down.”

“Will you sing it for me?”

Firefly smiled. “Of course, it went something like this-”

Look at the sky I’m still here

I’ll be alive next year

I can make something good, oh

Something good.