Work Text:
"You really stuck your foot in it this time, Spiky. You know that one, right?"
"I know, " Vash whines, deadassed like a dog, from the sidecar of my motorcycle. "But this one really isn't my fault! It was just bad luck!"
"Just bad luck," I repeat, shouting to be heard over the engine and the wind as we drive. It's a hard knock life out here.
He pauses, which I know is the sign that he's trying to come up with a story good enough to justify our latest time spent skipping town. "Well, I was helping a little girl get her cat down from the tree-"
"Which is stupid," I interrupt. At any time of month, it's stupid. Cats hate this guy. But it's especially stupid right now. There's a reason we try to lie low around this time - though I guess we actually just means me since this guy does whatever he wants.
"Well, I thought even if it clawed my face it'd still get down from the tree," Vash whines. "And I was doing perfectly fine! He was ready to come down! But then, around the corner, the mail truck starts coming-"
"The mail truck!? " Two years ago, I would've crashed both of us off the road hearing this. These days, it's just business as usual. Just… business as usual. "Okay! Sure! The mail truck."
"You don't get it," Vash insists, with a tone that tells me he's about to make sure I never get it, ever. "He's always running around and flipping up flags and opening door slots and it's - it's a breach of trust! Wolfwood, it's about trust!"
Incredulous shock and mild horror are beginning to get replaced by humor. Even if I'm not gonna understand it, that's fine. "Yeah, okay. Trust. I'm following one hundred percent."
"Wolfwood!" Vash complains, aghast. "How would you feel if some guy just showed up every day, unwanted, and opened your door just enough for you to smell him as he dumped a bunch of garbage in your perfectly good home!"
I try to stifle a laugh. "I would feel fine, because that is a mailman. That is a man who delivers mail. "
"You're gonna make fun of me," Vash pouts. " Anyway, he startled and shocked me, and it was even worse because he stopped right at this house! And he pulled out of his truck and he swung a flag up! "
"And you barked at him," I say, already having long since put two and two together.
"It wasn't… a bark, " Vash protests, looking away. "It was more of a…" he makes the sound now. It's that boof that dogs make when they want to complain about something but they aren't fully committed to it.
"Okay, so you boofed at him," I conclude. If I wasn't on the road, I'd be rolling my eyes now. "And then the girl sold you out?"
"No," he says, even poutier. "The mailman did."
"Damn." My eyebrows raise. "Maybe you're onto something about mailmen."
" See!? " Vash shouts, even louder than usual, before collapsing against the back of his seat. "And then you know the rest."
"Mmyep," I say. "Torches, pitchforks, yadda yadda."
Vash whines again. "We are past torches and pitchforks! It's, like, guns and sirens now."
"Is that better?" I challenge.
Vash droops, visible even when I'm not looking right at him. "No."
I huff, shaking my head just a teeny bit. "We'll be fine. You could go dog mode and stick your tongue out if it'd make you feel any better."
"It wouldn't," Vash insists, puffing up. Wait for it… Wait for it… "…Well, maybe."
Got him.
"I could pull over for, like, five seconds for you to change," I suggest.
Vash hesitates, then his head swivels back behind us. "…Aren't we still getting chased?"
I peek in the rearview mirrors. I see red and blue flashing lights in the distance. "…Maybe."
"Well, I guess they'll give up at some point?" Vash suggests.
I shrug my shoulders slightly. "Yeah, probably. Or we'll have to abandon her and run away on foot."
…I'm sorry, Sandy IV…
" Her? " Vash sputters. "You don't seriously still mean the motorcycle, do you?"
"Just because she's not important to you doesn't make her not important to me, " I insist.
Vash sighs one of those big dog sighs before shaking his head. "It'd be a little more understandable if this wasn't our eighth motorcycle…"
"Seventh," I correct.
"Ninth," Vash says, and if it wasn't for the police on our trails, I would actually pull over and kick his ass for disrespecting my girl. I don't care what moon is coming up tonight.
I huff. "I'm done talking to you, Scruffy."
Vash whines again, but for the time being, we drive in silence. We make it an hour down the highway or so before they finally stop chasing us, at which point I pull over to let Vash get out and transform. He tosses me his coat and his boots and his arm before he shifts into a more regal, dignified form - white fur flowing, piercing blue eyes-
Kidding. That's a joke. He's just as doofy-looking in this form, just way furrier. Allegedly, he's a noble wolf, but gotta admit, I've never even once met a less noble creature than this guy. He bends his front half down, wiggling his ass at me excitedly. I dunno how he even does that with only three legs.
"Gimme a second," I grouse, "I gotta put all this junk away and get out your leg."
Vash barks at me, but I just ignore him for now and dump all his junk in the side car before pulling out his dog prosthetic. I got pretty good at putting this thing on by now… Assuming Vash sits still for it. The full moon isn't out yet, so it'll probably be fine. I kneel down, and he does offer me his stump so I can get this attached. It's not too much trouble. With that settled, he stands back up to full height with a sigh.
"Okay, you're all set to romp," I tell him. "Romp away."
Vash, of course, this damned dog, wastes no time in immediately jumping me, knocking me to the ground and spilling my sunglasses God only knows where.
"Why do you do this," I complain, shutting my mouth just in time for Vash to start licking me. He plops down on me like he doesn't weigh a ton. I swear he has no idea how much he weighs.
I let him do this, though. He's, like… fine. He's got a lot of energy to work out. A lot of affection or whatever. This is pretty normal for him when he shifts into wolf form. I just kinda let him have it, rubbing him up and down while he gets all the energy out. It's probably better that I waited for the police to be gone before we did all this.
It's still hard to believe this guy is wanted for anything, to be honest with you. He's the least threatening werewolf I've never met in my life. But, well… Here we are.
Eventually, after what feels like forever, I push the guy off me, and he lets me sit back up and dust myself off from the dirt. He pants at me, all grinning and shit. I grumble to myself as I reach over and mess with his jowls.
"Can you quit? You're too damn excitable like this." My brows furrow and I squint at him.
He barks in return, stamping his feet. I don't know what I expected out of him.
"Okay, well, I'm getting back into the motorcycle, and if you don't come with, I'm driving without you," I tell him. I stand myself up and dust myself off before looking around for my sunglasses. "We've got a lotta ground to cover before the full moon actually hits, buddy. I need you to behave until we get somewhere safe."
This place is okay for now, but we've gotta double back and change our trail. They're gonna be waiting for us at the next town over in this direction, I'm sure. So I've got to get both of us somewhere safe.
I startle out of my thoughts when Vash licks my hand, rubbing up against my leg. He's giving me the puppy dog eyes. Is he apologizing for what happened? …No. He's probably telling me not to worry so much.
"It'll be alright," I promise, rubbing the top of his head. He rubs happily against it. It's… kinda soothing, honestly. He's got a sense for when I'm not feeling the best. "We'll manage, okay?"
We will. We've gotten through worse scrapes, plenty of times. I can handle this part.
I climb on the motorcycle, and I let Vash clamber into the side car. He plops himself down and starts sticking his tongue out immediately. As I start the motorcycle, I realize I forgot to grab my sunglasses, and I immediately get out and go grab them. Vash gives me the most disdainful look a dog could ever get me as I bend over and dust them off.
"Did you want me to drive off without these? Because that'd be leaving evidence." I clean the dirt off the inside of the lenses. "Also, I'd have to replace 'em."
Vash barks at me, at which point I grin, because I have the ultimate gotcha to drop onto him.
"Hey, did you know that the mailman actually swings the mail flag down? " I climb across the motorcycle, assured in my victory. "You said he was swinging it up. He'd be swinging it down. That's the mailman's job. It goes up if you have outgoing mail."
Vash narrows his eyes and growls at me. I just grin wider. He reaches his paw out and paws at me with a grumbly bark.
I just laugh as I turn on the ignition. "Paws in the car if you don't wanna lose 'em," I insist, waiting for him to comply before I start the car going.
Vash forgives me pretty quickly. He sticks his tongue out and grins as we drive down the road, in that dog way he does. He does seem to be feeling better, but then, he usually does when he goes wolf mode. Glad he's not bothered.
…I'm feeling a little better, too, actually. He's got a way about that. It's nice of him to pass the good mood along.
It's kind of reassuring. No matter how bad things get, we're in this together. I threw in my lot with this guy, and things are going… Way better than they used to. Can't deny that at all.
If I have to drive out of town on a dime because this guy barked at a mailman, well… Guess that's just what life is like now.
…Yeah, I'll deal.