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“No.”
Four very not innocent faces stared back at her.
Daphne nudged a bar stool towards Eloise with her foot. “Join us.”
Eloise glowered at her sister, “You’re worse than Mum.”
“Tied,” Daphne argued with an unapologetic grin.
“For the record, I told them this was a terrible very bad idea,” Ben said with Sophie at his side. “And I refused to participate.”
To say Eloise was surprised to encounter half her family at the bar was an understatement. Penelope had invited her out for Friday drinks and after a long day of seminars she had been worn down just enough to agree.
“And that is why you’re my favourite,” Eloise informed him, refusing to take off her coat.
“Ouch.” Fran complained from where she was sitting between John and Michael.
Eloise eyed the trio. “I take it he is your offering?”
Michael lifted his glass, “I’ll wear you down someday.”
Eloise sighed, having been on the receiving end of Fran's matchmaking efforts for months. “Someday won’t be tonight.”
“Can I get you a drink?” Fran offered none too subtlety. “Many drinks?”
“No,” Eloise replied, crossing her arms as she glared at one person in particular. “I expect this from them, but not you.”
Penelope shifted where she was sitting beside Colin, “They stole my phone. I was defenceless.”
Colin smirked, “With good reason. My man is perfect for Eloise and no one will take that victory from me.” Colin gave Penelope a quick kiss. “Even my girlfriend.”
Penelope rolled her eyes, “I haven’t even met him. Although he sounds very nice. I think you’d really-“
“Insider knowledge.” Daphne cut in testily. “We agreed that we would present our candidates at the same time."
Eloise sat down with a sigh, knowing resistance would only make them all more determined. “Dare I ask who you’re trying to set me up with?“
“Friedrich,” Daphne said, checking her phone. “He’s tied up at city hall but should be here soon.”
“…you’re setting me up with your ex?” Eloise asked, rather horrified.
Benedict waved down a bartender, already out of whiskey, “Gotta say Daph, that’s underhanded. Even for you.”
“Freddie is a wonderful man who-"
“Yeah, but did you bang him?” Fran interrupted and Daphne bit her lip. “Ew Daph.”
“But he’s so nice!” Daphne defended. "And he's practically a prince as the heir to the-"
Benedict slid a pint towards Eloise. “I somehow doubt prince is what El is looking for.”
“El is looking for nothing. El is writing her graduate thesis and would appreciate it if her overbearing siblings would be happy to spend time with her without constantly trying to set her up.” Eloise informed rather heatedly.
Daphne looked at Eloise with an exceptionally forlorn expression. "It’s just been so long since you broke up with Theo. We hate seeing you like this."
"Single?" Eloise questioned in annoyance.
"Lonely." Daphne corrected, reaching out to squeeze Eloise's knee.
Eloise shoved her hand away. "I'm not lonely. I'm-"
Fran wrapped an arm around Eloise. “Yes yes, you're an independent woman. Perfectly happy with your life and your choices. We just want to get you laid."
Colin winced beside her, "Speak for yourself."
"I was," Fran said with a grin, before turning back to Eloise. "I'm telling you, Michael is exactly what you need. A one night stand."
"A phenomenal one night stand," Michael confirmed. "I do this thing with-"
"No!” Ben cut off loudly. "She's still my little sister. Even if she does need to get some."
"Favourite rescinded," Eloise muttered into her drink.
Fran rested her chin on Eloise's shoulder. "Seriously El, I've heard very good reviews."
"Can you please go back to being quiet and underestimated?" Colin asked Fran, scowling at Michael's proximity to all of his sisters. "And for the record, my friend is not a one night stand. He is a-"
"Freddie!" Daphne yelled loudly, enthusiastically waving across the bar. Eloise slumped on her stool and Penelope mouthed sorry across the table.
Friedrich made it Daphne's side, looking every bit the politician that he was. "Good evening."
Daphne gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before vacating her seat so he could sit beside Eloise. "You remember my sister Eloise."
"I do," Friedrich said, flashing a smile. "So lovely to see you again."
"Lovely indeed," Eloise replied dryly.
Daphne nudged her in warning. "Freddie, I was just about to tell Eloise about how you-"
"No!" Colin interjected quickly. "My friend isn't here yet. No one gets to start until-"
"Punctuality is very important Colin." Daphne retaliated. "If your friend can't be bothered to show up on time, how can you expect-"
Fran took the opportunity to lean in to whisper into Eloise's ear. "I'll cover for you if you want to meet Michael in the bathroom."
Eloise lifted her pint and chugged it, doing her very best to ignore them all. Once she was done, she slammed the glass down and turned to look at Penelope. "I'll see you at home."
"Wait, you haven't even-"
Eloise was already out of her seat, glaring at her siblings. "Thanks for ruining my night." Eloise paused, looking at Ben and Sophie. "Except you two." She turned to John. "And you."
"Excuse me, I've been nothing but a gentleman," Michael said when he was left out of the apologies. "All I'm saying is that you're hot. I'm hot. Why don't we-"
"And I'm done." Eloise announced, snatching her coat off the stool and storming towards the door.
Eloise left the bar in a rush, knowing that it was only a matter of time before someone came after her to drag her back to hell. The only person Eloise wanted to talk to was Penelope, but like usual, she was glued to Colin's side. Which suited Eloise just fine. Despite her siblings relentless meddling, Eloise had absolutely no need for-
"I'm sorry!"
Eloise blinked, staring at the ceiling. Somewhere between racing away from the table and opening the door, Eloise had collided with someone. A tall and handsome someone. "My sincerest apologies. I'm running late and I wasn't..." He reached out to touch her, but then thought better of it, pulling his hand back. "Are you all right?"
Eloise sat up, horrified to find she was still in the bar. Where her siblings could come looking and discover her laid out on the floor. If the collective pity was bad because she was single, the thought of them also fussing over her for a near concussion was inconceivable.
Ignoring the hand the man offered her way, Eloise struggled to get to her feet. "I'm fine, just clumsy." She quickly scooped her jacket up. "Have a good night."
"Wait!" The man called out as she tried to step around him. "Let me at least buy you a drink to make up for it. "
Eloise opened her mouth to refuse, to say she was heading straight home to lock herself in her room forever, but something about the way he looked at her was tempting. And a most excellent way to prove to everyone she was more than capable of finding her own date. "As long as it's not here."
He frowned, glancing over her shoulder at the busy crowd. "I'm supposed to be meeting a friend."
Eloise sighed, pulling her coat on. "Fair enough. Enjoy your-"
"But I'm already late." He cut in, a shy smile creeping onto his face. "What's another half hour? There's a pub next door..."
"Anywhere but here." Eloise reiterated, finally making it out the door.
One drink became two drinks which quickly became three as they sat in a corner booth talking about all things academic. It turned out that he was a student of Botany at King's College and equally immersed in his graduate work.
"The hybrid variation of pea is much more resistant to rot." He explained, sketching out a biochemical formula on a napkin. "I started with more acidic soil but quickly realized that-" He stopped, glancing at her. "Sorry, is this too much? I tend to get a bit fixated on my research."
Eloise sipped her Old Fashioned. "I like it. You're passionate." He looked unsure of what to say next when his phone vibrated. "You can check it if you want." Eloise offered, knowing he was trying very hard not to look at the endless stream of messages coming through.
"It's fine. It's just my friend. He thinks he's being stealthy but I know he invited me out to set me up with someone."
Eloise felt her own phone buzz in her pocket. "Hard relate."
He sighed, "Between you and me, I'd rather Colin didn't invite me at all. He keeps going on and on about his sister-" Eloise froze, the drink halfway to her mouth, and the man sat up straight, as if realizing he made a terrible mistake. "Anyway, you said you-"
"What does he say about his sister?"
The man swallowed, clearly regretting the choice of topic, "Uh, that she's...nice?"
Eloise snorted, "Now that I don't believe." He looked entirely lost. "Sister," Eloise explained, pointing at herself. "Eloise Bridgerton."
"Thank god. I thought..." He shook the thought away. "You knew who I was?"
"No," Eloise said, dropping her drink down with an annoyed grunt. "I left before Colin could throw you at me."
"Throw?" He repeated, an amused smile on his lips. "I do believe you were the one that threw yourself at me."
Eloise narrowed her eyes, "You knocked me down."
He grinned, "I have that effect on women."
"Oh?" Eloise asked, suddenly sitting back in her seat.
He slid towards her in apology. "No, that's a lie. I don't. I'm..." He glanced at the napkin. "Well, I'm not very good at this at all." He paused, before holding out his hand. "Phillip Crane."
Eloise took it, giving it a playful shake. "Well Phillip. It seems for once in his life my brother actually had a good idea." Eloise dropped his hand, but didn't move back from where their thighs were touching. "But let's not tell him that."
Phillip glanced at his phone, "What should I tell him?"
"Nothing." Eloise declared, moving ever closer to Phillip on the bench. "He will be insufferable if he finds out his plan actually worked."
"And did it?" Phillip asked quietly, his gaze lingering on her lips. "Work I mean?"
Eloise grabbed her coat from behind Phillip and grinned, "Well that depends on whether you're following me home."
Somewhere between Phillip pressing her up against the front door and stripping him naked on her bed, they heard Penelope and Colin stumble into the flat.
Phillip looked up from where he was hovering between her legs. "You live with Colin?"
"I live with Colin's girlfriend." Eloise corrected, listening as her brother banged around in the kitchen.
As if on cue, Penelope knocked on the door, "You all right El? You didn't answer your phone."
"Fine!" Eloise called out, trying for nonchalance. "Just working on my-" Eloise faltered as she felt Phillip slip down her body. "Thesis."
Penelope hesitated at the door. "Are you sure? You seemed really upset."
"I was annoyed." Eloise clarified, watching Phillip press a kiss on her inner thigh. "Over it now."
"If you say so..." Penelope said doubtfully, but after a moment her footsteps receded to join Colin.
Phillip pulled Eloise towards the edge of the bed and grinned, "Don't scream."
"They're in her room." Eloise whispered as she peeked out her bedroom door the next morning. After the bustle of Colin and Penelope waking up, the flat had gone quiet and Eloise decided it was the right moment to sneak Phillip out. She certainly wasn't ashamed of him or the amazing sex they enjoyed for most of the night, but to admit that Colin was right about anything was simply unfathomable.
Coast clear, Eloise reached for Phillip's hand and darted towards the front door.
"Nice try." Penelope said, quietly sipping a coffee on the sofa. Eloise jumped and Phillip slammed into her back.
"Why are you just sitting there?" Eloise demanded, knowing she was entirely caught.
"To enjoy this of course," Penelope replied, beaming at Phillip. "Good morning."
"Morning." Phillip mumbled, still pressed into Eloise's back.
Eloise grunted, "How did you know?"
"Oh around the time your brother started begging me for noise cancelling headphones."
Eloise gave Penelope a sheepish grin, "I thought we were quiet."
"You thought wrong." Penelope revealed with far too much delight. "Would you like some coffee..." Penelope trailed off, obviously waiting for an introduction.
"Phillip." Eloise admitted with a heavy sigh.
"Phillip?" Penelope immediately sat up. "Hold on, Colin's-"
"Phillip?" Colin exclaimed as he stepped out of Penelope's room. "You never messaged me back. What are you-" Colin's eyes widened with understanding. "She's my sister!"
"Weren't you the one who wanted to set me up with your sister?" Phillip asked, rather confused.
"Yes, to respectfully date! Not to..." Colin grimaced. "Tosser." Colin threw in Phillip’s direction, but it was halfhearted at best. "Wait, if you and Eloise..." Colin's disgust slowly morphed into something approximating excitement. "I won." Colin pointed at Eloise. "I won!" Colin turned to Penelope. "I won!"
"I think I won." Eloise muttered, but Colin was far too busy pulling out his phone to care. Eloise rolled her eyes, turning to Phillip. "This is why I wanted to sneak you out."
"Like you could." Penelope said as she looked over Colin's shoulder to watch the sibling group chat blow up. "Fran says she hopes he was good."
Eloise smirked at Phillip, "He was passable."
Phillip raised an eyebrow, "If that was passable, I eagerly await good."
"I can hear you." Colin reminded, still typing on his phone. "And she has four brothers."
"Four?" Phillip questioned, straightening up.
Eloise waved him off, "Only three count. Gregory is a child." Phillip did not look reassured so Eloise reached for his hand. "They're harmless."
"They most certainly are not." Colin informed, lifting his phone to take a picture of Eloise and Phillip. “But for now victory is much sweeter."
"Colin." Eloise warned, but it was too late as she heard the group chat ding on her phone. "Did you really just do that?"
"Yes." Colin replied without the slightest concern, "I had to prove I won." Eloise grunted, none too pleased with the turn of events. "And to ensure I have a darling slideshow accompaniment for my best man speech."
Eloise turned to Phillip. "I'm really sorry. You can leave any time you want."
Phillip glanced between Colin and Eloise. "And if I want to stay?"
"Then I can think of a much better way to celebrate a victory." Eloise tugged on Phillip’s hand. “Congrats Col!” Colin’s head jerked up at her mocking tone but they were already gone, Eloise's bedroom door slamming shut behind them.
"What have I done?" Colin asked, slowly turning to Penelope.
"You made your sister happy." She proudly replied, pulling him to his feet. "And we definitely need to go out to celebrate."