Work Text:
The rest of the house was woken up by Hien's scream.
Toshiro was in the middle of brushing his teeth.
"Where the fuck is my hairbrush?!"
"Goodness!" Maizuru's voice called from downstairs, coming up to see what the ruckus was all about. "Do you have to swear this early in the morning? It's unlady like!"
"I can't find my hairbrush! Tade! Toshiro! Beni!"
"Ugh, what?!" Beni stomped out of her bedroom, hair disheveled.
"What did I do?!" Tade trailed after her. "It's so early, Hien! I wanted to sleep more!"
"Well rise and fucking shine, my hairbrush is missing and I need it!" Hien exclaimed, her uniform on, but she hadn't gotten started on her makeup yet since she wanted to do her hair first.
"Mornin'," Toshiro left the bathroom to greet an upset Maizuru, dressed in his school uniform. Izutsumi was the culprit, because Hien chased her around the house for her hairbrush. Hien took her morning routine way too seriously.
By the time everyone was down for breakfast, they were already late for school. Toshiyuki and Toshizane were the first to leave. Toshiro was waiting for the girls outside, his shoes on.
"Wait!" Maizuru followed the girls outside with their bento boxes. "Your lunch!"
"Oh, thank you!" Beni said, handing Tade and Hien their lunch.
"Toshiro!" He winced at Maizuru hurrying down the stairs. "Don't run from me, I know you heard me. You always forget your lunch."
"I'm not hungry," Toshiro said, walking away from her. Maizuru hobbled after him in her sandals, forcing Toshiro to take the lunch she made for him. "I made your favorite. Rice balls."
"Ah," Toshiro nodded, pink dusting his cheeks. "T-Thanks..."
Maizuru beamed. "Have a good day at school."
"Yeah."
"Wait up!" Hien called after him, catching up with the others. Izutsumi was the last to leave the house with her lunch, walking past them and taking the other direction to her middle school.
"She never wants to walk with us," Tade said mournfully.
"Probably because she's embarrassed to be seen with us," Toshiro joked dryly.
"Does she even go to school?" Hien asked, peeking down at the block she was walking down. "Huh. I wonder."
"Homeroom's starting!" Beni said, frantic. "Let's go! Hurry!"
They quickly scurried down the street, taking the usual route to school.
“C’mon!” The bully shouted, kicking Toshiro’s side once again. “Do something! Would ya?! Fight back!”
His friends egged him on. Toshiro sat on his knees, spitting blood on the ground.
He said nothing, and it only seemed to anger them further.
“For fuck’s sake…”
Before they could continue their assault, a medium-sized rock was thrown at the leader’s head.
“Oi! Dickhead!" Hien’s voice called from a distance. “Get the fuck away from him!”
“Tch, it’s his stupid girlfriend again,” The leader muttered. With a scoff, his friends fled the scene. Toshiro remained on the ground, wiping his nose.
Hien walked up to him, clicking her tongue. “Daisuke giving you a rough time again?”
Toshiro rose up on his wobbly feet, brushing the blood off his nose.
“It appears so,” he mumbled. Hien sighed, hands on her hips.
“Want me to take you to the nurse?” She asked, patting him on the back. This was the usual — Daisuke and his goons picked on Toshiro, as their other target transferred schools after the bullying got too severe. "Y'know, just say the word and I'll kick their asses for you."
“Don't. I’m fine,” Toshiro refused. When knocked down, he’d always get up and keep it moving, no matter how injured he was.
Throughout the day, Hien, Beni, and Tade were the only people that stuck around Toshiro. He heard the rumors that spread every now and then. Why does he always hang around girls? Maybe he’s secretly one? That’s gotta be why he’s a fag, right?
While Hien shot the rumors down, Toshiro told her it wasn’t worth it.
At home, his father would berate him further. At his age, he should know how to stand up for himself instead of letting thugs push him around. He should be ashamed, letting others do it for him.
Maizuru, on the other hand, was there to treat his wounds. Like usual, Toshiro stayed silent, swallowing his shame as she attempted to console him.
At night, he’d hear their furious whispers. Maizuru begged his father to intervene, that maybe he should transfer, and he’d shut it down.
After all, in his words, the same thing would happen all over again.
The next day, Daisuke’s gang cornered him in the corridors. Hien fought them off, dragging Toshiro to the infirmary.
Then, Toshiro returned to class, his peers looking at him in fear - too scared to actually say anything. Their teacher casually welcoming Toshiro back with a tsk, mumbling something about how she couldn't stand delinquents under her breath before continuing the lesson.
Hien took her seat next to him, glancing at him every now and then. Toshiro minded his own business for the rest of class, ignoring the whispers among his classmates about the number Daisuke's gang did on him, how bad they felt for him.
"You done?" Hien asked rudely, gasps coming from the gossiping girls sitting in front of her. Another classmate made a snide comment, and she flipped them off. She always defended Toshiro. She thought she was doing him a favor, but it just made him feel worse.
When class was over, he got up, tossed his bag over his shoulder and stormed out of the room, feeling the many eyes staring holes into his back. Hien rushed after him, grabbing her backpack.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at her exasperated face.
The last stall was empty.
Toshiro took a deep breath, prying his eyes away from his bloody briefs. He punched the door with all his might, a shout escaping his lips.
He skipped the rest of class, instead, waiting at the park, having a smoke.
Hien found him later, a plastic bag in her hands. She tossed it at him.
"Here," she said. Toshiro caught the bag, looking inside.
Pads were in there.
"Thanks..." He murmured, putting the bag in his backpack.
"The only time you ever skip class is when you're having cramps, and I assumed right," Hien said, sitting next to him. "We spent all day looking for you. We even checked the rooftop. Usually you run there to avoid Daisuke, but we guessed wrong."
"I just didn't feel like going back to class," Toshiro confessed. He felt embarrassed, angry, guilty. Now, he wasn't too sure. The girls knew his secret. It didn't make it any less harder to deal with sometimes.
"I told the others to go home," Hien said. "Let's go."
Toshiro got up from the bench, putting out his cigarette and trailing after her.
"Race you," she smirked, taking off. Toshiro stumbled on his feet, complaining how it wasn't fair she got a head start, but he caught up to her halfway down the block. Soon, what happened earlier was the furthest thing from his mind.
Home, Toshiro sat on the engawa, lighting a cigarette, dried blood on his hands. In the corner of his eye, someone came walking up to him.
“What?” He asked. Izutsumi stared at him, dressed in her middle school uniform. She never walked to school with them in the mornings, choosing to walk by herself. She did it so she could feed the stray kittens near the corner store. They followed her around, warming up to her because she was the only one that looked after them. Toshiro passed by the corner store walking home sometimes with the girls, and the cashier told them that she'd be there for hours, meaning she was probably skipping school. She insisted she wasn't, but Toshiro knew the truth.
She was holding a plastic bag in her hand, taking something out of it.
“Here,” she said, tossing it at him. Toshiro caught the bottle of Ramune in his hands.
Unlike the others, Izutsumi never asked why he let himself get beat up. That was the one thing Toshiro appreciated about her; she wasn’t a person of many words either. She walked up the engawa, past Toshiro, and into the home without another word.
This became a mutual arrangement of theirs.
His father’s men guarded the restaurant when Toshiro walked in. Toshitsugu was sitting at the far corner, smoking a cigarette.
Toshiro approached the table. It was just him and the members of the clan, being served food and drinks, relaxed, but one wrong move and the whole place would turn upside down.
He sat down across from his father. He poured Toshiro a drink. Toshiro put down his school bag, accepting the drink.
“You think I’m an idiot, huh?” He questioned, already drunk. Toshiro finished his drink, putting down his glass. “Principal’s calling me, telling me about the kids picking on you at school. How you just sit around and take it. How long are you going to keep embarrassing me like this?”
Toshiro grit his teeth, turning his head.
Toshitsugu slammed his glass down on the table. “Say something, would you?!”
He was fuming, and still, Toshiro said nothing.
“I worked hard after your mother left, night and day I work, for my sons,” His father sniffled, taking another swig. “Hoping they could lead one day, and instead, they spit in my face everyday. Can’t even act like men. I forgot,” he scoffed. “You’re not even a man. Under that uniform,” he gestured to Toshiro’s clothing. “There’s no fucking man in there. But Maizuru changed you. She spoiled you too much. She renamed you. Put you in those clothes. Pushed you to be heir, and you can’t even do that.”
Toshiro bit at his lower lip, a healed scar underneath. She did all of that for Toshiro’s sake. She saw him for who he was. His father probably never will, so why did it matter? Trying to please him? Gain his approval?
How could he lead the clan if he couldn’t even decide a single thing for himself? He was not worthy to lead, he couldn’t stand up for himself, couldn’t do anything but sit by and let the world move on without him, hating himself more.
“You’re gonna take the entrance exams, go to university, learn the ins and outs of how the world of business works,” His father continued, curt. “Your brothers look up to you. Seeing you come home with those shameful bruises on your face only makes them nervous. You’re their big brother, their leader, so fucking act like it. Alright?”
“Yes,” Toshiro muttered, rubbing his lips.
“Oyasan,” one of his father’s men walked over to him to whisper in his ear. Toshitsugu nodded, having to conclude their meeting short.
They cleared the restaurant, Toshitsugu clapping Toshiro on the back on the way out.
“You’re a Nakamoto,” he reminded Toshiro. “Until the day you die, until the day you take my place.”
His words only made Toshiro feel sick to his stomach.
He watched his father with his men crowded around him, ducking into the parked car, the door closing behind him, driving off.
Toshiro decided to walk home that night, finding Hien, Beni, Tade, and Izutsumi waiting for him outside.
“You guys didn’t have to wait for me,” he murmured, face softening at the sight of them.
“Is everything okay?” Beni asked.
“He didn’t hit you or anything, did he?” Hien questioned after.
“We just had a talk,” Toshiro said, sitting down on the engawa. “That’s all.”
“Then?” Tade raised a brow. “What happened next?”
Izutsumi was quiet, lingering at the doorway, but she was listening.
“He was called to handle some business,” Toshiro said, fishing for his pack of cigarettes in his pockets.
“Maizuru’s making dinner,” Hien snatched the cigarette from Toshiro’s hand before he could put it in his mouth, twisting his ear. “You know she hates it when you smoke, dumbass!”
“Alright already! Let go!”
“Give me the cigarettes!”
“No!”
Maizuru opened the doors, interrupting their argument.
“Oh, Toshiro. You’re back,” she huffed, hands on her hips. “Just in time for dinner.”
Izutsumi slipped back into the house, Tade following her. Benichidori sighed, walking up the steps. Toshiro gave up his cigarettes to Hien, her palm was out. He put the box in her hand, and she shoved it in her pocket, dragging Toshiro inside the house with her.
"Hey, Toshiro. Do you have a crush?"
Maizuru always found ways to disrupt his reading time by asking him silly questions like this.
"No," he answered, nose deep in his entomology book.
"Is it a girl? A boy?"
"Maizuru."
"The girls talk about their crushes all the time. I just wondered if you had one," Maizuru pouted, folding her arms. The girls went out again, and Toshiro wanted to stay home and study, so Maizuru kept him company with snacks. "You can tell me."
Toshiro glanced up at her. "Did you have one on father?"
Maizuru blinked. "Eh?"
"Did you have a crush on him?"
"Hmm..." She tapped her chin, deep in thought. "I suppose I haven't considered it like that. We just came to be."
"That sounds stupid."
"Toshiro," she said in a scolding tone. "You never know when you'll meet your first love. You'll meet hundreds and hundreds of people and not a single spark. It just takes one. Sometimes, it takes you by surprise, but trust me, it's a wonderful feeling."
"Male termites break off their wings when they find their mate," Toshiro said. "Imagine if humans broke their arms off when they met their mates. Sounds strange, doesn't it? But for bugs, it's so simple. I don't understand human emotions." It was far too complex for him to consider the implications of a romantic partner.
Maizuru was speechless. "Well..." She laughed. "I think humans, just like bugs, have their own courtship rituals. Some a little more bizarre than others."
"Then I hope no one wants to mate with me," Toshiro closed his book, standing up.
"What do you mean?" Maizuru shot up, rushing after him with his plate of unfinished rice balls. "Of course you should mate with someone! You'll continue our bloodline someday, after all."
That wasn't happening. Toshiro turned around, took a rice ball, then retreated to his bedroom. "The bloodline ends with me."
Maizuru gasped upon hearing such words. "Toshiro!"
When exam season was coming up, Hien, Beni, Tade, and Toshiro discussed what their plans for their futures were.
“I wanna get outta here,” Hien said, hands folded behind her head. “Okinawa’s boring.”
“Me too…” Tade sighed.
“You want to go to university in another city?” Beni asked.
“No,” Hien shook her head. “I don’t wanna go to uni at all. It’s just not for me. With our skill set, we’re better off doing something else.”
The girls stared at Toshiro, smoking a cigarette and leaning against the tree. He watched a ladybug crawl on his open palm, lowering his hand to the grass to set the bug free. His uniform shirt was undone due to the warmer weather, healed bruises on his face.
“Toshiro?” Beni questioned. “You haven’t told us what you want to do after we graduate.”
“Don’t tell me you’re gonna follow Toshiyuki and Toshizane with the family business,” Hien scoffed. “You’re better than that.”
“I’m the heir,” Toshiro said, voice distant. “I have to go to university. It’s what he wants.”
“Bullshit,” Hien scoffed, crouching in front of Toshiro, peeved. “Is that what you want? Are you gonna spend the rest of your life kissing the dirty boots of other people that just walk all over you?!”
Toshiro met Hien’s fiery gaze.
“What’s the point?” He questioned, wistful. He had given up a long time ago, proving to his father he was capable of free will.
When his father remarried, to Maizuru, after the divorce—she brought Hien, Tade, Beni, and Izutsumi into Toshiro’s life. Since then, they’ve been inseparable.
But all Toshiro did was drag them into his problems, sans Izutsumi, who was the youngest and around Toshizane’s age. He didn’t want to do that to them any longer. They had bright futures ahead of them, and fighting with delinquents wouldn’t get them anywhere.
Beni and Tade frowned at his moping, knowing that this was going to lead to nowhere. Hien remained as stubborn as ever.
“That house is a fucking prison,” she seethed. “And if we don’t get out of there, it’s going to eat us alive. He treats us all like slaves.”
Toshiro stood up, putting his cigarette out and shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I apologize,” he mumbled. “I can’t do anything more to help. But if you all wish to leave, you are free to go. You don’t have to wait on me.”
He walked away, as class time would resume shortly, the bell echoing throughout the courtyard, kids rushing back through the front doors to their classrooms.
He spent it drawing bugs in his notebook, tuning out the lesson. Hien, Beni, and Tade sat next to him during lunch time, sharing the food Maizuru made with him. He barely ate more than a few bites before going back to doodling.
Their conversation carried on, even when Toshiro wasn't talking. Their classmates would stare at them, wondering why they hung out with Toshiro in the first place. Maybe they're all part of the same Yakuza family, they would murmur amongst themselves. That was until Hien told them to fuck off and mind their business, going back to their lunch.
The Nakamotos gained notoriety in their school, Toshitsugu being a powerful man. Toshiro knew that was going to follow him wherever he went. At heart, he was just a boy with hopes and dreams, like any other student here.
As long as he had his family, they would keep him grounded.
He'd never stoop to the level of his bullies, no matter how hard they tried to make him break.
"Oi," Hien was doing her makeup, while Beni was brushing Tade's hair, Toshiro sitting by the window. "Wanna go to Yuzu's after this?"
"Ow!" Tade shrieked when her tangled hair got caught on Beni's brush, causing Hien to poke her eye with the pencil she was using.
"God damn it, Tade!"
People started staring at them, Beni trying to calm them down.
"Sure," Toshiro said, reading an entomology encyclopedia he got from the library. He wasn't that hungry, but that was their usual hangout spot after school. Yuzu was a middle-aged lady that owned a barbeque a couple blocks down from the school, serving them piping hot lunch after a long day at school. She was an alumni, so she had a lot of stories to tell about the biker gangs she ran with back in the old days. Hien thought she was the coolest person ever, and Toshiro teased that she just had a massive crush on Yuzu, which Hien would deny with a blush on her face.
Hien put down her pencil, leaning over at what Toshiro was reading.
"You're always reading that bug shit, dude," she muttered, frowning at the diagrams. Tade and Beni said it made them feel icky, they hated looking at bug pictures. Toshiro didn't mind, he found them all fascinating. "People talk about how you collect bugs on the trees outside. It's freakin' them out."
"World needs bugs," Toshiro said, looking up at Hien. "Your eyeliner's a little fucked up."
Hien gasped, rushing for her bag to grab her hand mirror. "Fuck!" She cursed. "Tade, look what you did to my makeup!"
"I'm sorry!" Tade cried. "I didn't mean to!"
"I'll help you wipe it off, jeez," Beni sighed, fetching a napkin from her bag. Toshiro chuckled, going back to his reading, flipping the page.
Music blasted in Toshiro’s ears on his walk to the park from the convenience store. The girls invited him out, but he declined, wanting time to himself.
He saw Izutsumi petting a cat at a nearby bench. He knew she’d be here, school ended for her sometime ago.
Toshiro sat down next to her, handing her a juice box from his bag.
The cat she was feeding by her feet blinked up at Toshiro in curiosity. After a bit of petting, the kitten wandered off. Izutsumi glanced at Toshiro, wordlessly accepting the juice box.
Toshiro pulled out his box of cigarettes. He noticed she was looking at the bandaid around his index finger, curled around his cigarette, lighting it up.
“Gross,” she muttered, waving the smoke away. Toshiro snorted, reaching over to pinch her nose.
“Did you skip school today?”
“I didn’t,” she lied. Her backpack was resting beside her. Toshiro smirked.
“I won’t tell Maizuru,” he promised with a wink. Izutsumi pried his hand off her nose, glaring at him. He took a drag, blowing the smoke away from Izutsumi.
Izutsumi grumbled something under her breath, sipping her apple juice, legs crossed on the bench.
“Where’s the others?” She asked, pulling her lips from the straw.
“They went out for dinner at Yuzu's. I didn’t feel like going.” Toshiro said, leaning on the bench. He figured since Izutsumi spent all day at the park, she didn’t eat anything. He tossed her the bag, as there were pork buns inside. Her eyes sparkled, reaching for the bag and tearing the plastic open, sinking her teeth into the soft bread.
He walked home with Izutsumi, so that Maizuru didn’t suspect anything. Toshiro’s brothers were there playing video games. Izutsumi spotted a figurine that belonged to her by one of the boys, lunging for it.
“Izutsumi! Can’t you see we’re playing?!” Toshiyuki yelled, agitated.
“You stole my figure!” Izutsumi barked back, trying to wrench it out of the other boy’s hands. “Give it back!”
Maizuru came from the kitchen, seeing the commotion going on. “Please stop fighting this instant!”
Toshiro walked away from the arguing, Maizuru welcomed him home, and he strolled past her to go upstairs to his bedroom.
He sat down at the table, running his hands through his hair. His room was decorated in posters from his favorite visual kei bands, their androgynous appearance, striking fashion, and exotic hairstyles stood out.
Maizuru knocked on the door sometime later, after Toshiro finished his homework with snacks.
“You’re not out with the girls?” She asked, surprised. “And have you been smoking again?” It was natural for her to start cleaning up after his mess, scolding him about his smoking or drinking habits. “I’ve told you many times how it’s bad for you—“ She paused, spotting the cut on Toshiro’s cheek, reaching over to touch his face. “I didn’t see this one before.”
Lips pursed together, Toshiro averted his gaze. Maizuru’s face was crestfallen. More bruises appeared on him every other day returning home from school, and Toshiro continued to keep quiet about it.
“I’ll get the first aid kit,” she said, shuffling around to gather the trash and leaving the room. “Then I’ll get started on your bath.”
The door slid closed behind her. As usual, Toshiro waited, closing his eyes.
Soon, the day would be over. Then it would start again, and again.
And again.
"Let me see," Hien said. She was the only one in Toshiro's room. He liked to hole up in here when he didn't feel like leaving the house. Tonight, he locked himself in here to hide his bruises from Maizuru, then Hien had marched into his room. "C'mon. Take off your shirt." She said, crouching down next to him on the futon.
"No," Toshiro mumbled. She smacked him upside the head.
"Stop fucking around!" Hien chided.
"Fine," Toshiro removed his hands from his chest. Hien rolled her eyes, pushing the jacket off Toshiro's shoulders. Bandages were wrapped around his chest. She removed that too, careful, as he flinched.
She saw the red and purple bruises on his skin. She sighed, hand on his shoulder.
"Toshiro..." She whispered. "You can't keep letting them do this to you."
"Fighting back doesn't make us any better," Toshiro said, looking down at his hands. "I don't want to worry Maizuru more."
"So taking beatings makes it any better?" Hien asked, clicking her tongue. "All the rival gangs here think they can just push us around, and because you never do anything, they won't stop..."
Toshiro touched her hand.
"As long as they don't hurt any of you, they can do whatever they want..." He said.
"Remember," Hien squeezed his hand. "All you have to do is say the word. We've got your back."
Toshiro let go of her hand, grabbing a fresh shirt and pants to change into. "We have to start heading down for dinner."
Hien looked like she wanted to say more, but she just nodded, swallowing her frustration.
Dinner was quiet with the Nakamotos. Maizuru tried her best to break the silence by asking how their day was. Toshiro didn't have much to say, which disappointed her, nor did Hien and Izutsumi, but Tade and Beni were happy to explain what happened at school.
Toshiyuki and Toshizane hogged the table, causing Izutsumi to get upset with them.
"Stop eating everything!"
"You already have enough food on your plate, fatty!"
"Who you calling fatty-"
"Oi," Toshitsugu's voice cut in abruptly, and everyone's ruckus ceased in a heartbeat. "I'm trying to eat here. Stop whining. I had a long day."
"It's fine..." Maizuru laughed, simmering him down. "Everyone's just a little hyper, is all."
Toshiro put down his chopsticks.
"Thank you for the meal," he said, rising to his feet with his empty plate. They watched him leave, putting his food away then retreating upstairs to his room. Dinner continued as normal, the girls helping Maizuru clean the kitchen and Toshitsugu and their brothers heading to bed.
On a free weekend, Benichidori suggested they go out together for karaoke.
Toshiyuki and Toshizane’s friends didn’t like the girls very much, so they never tagged along, preferring to steal from stores, play video games, or talk about pornography, like hormonal teenage boys did. Hien didn’t like how they always messed around with Izutsumi, stealing her belongings, poking fun at her, then running away crying to their father when she scratched their faces in rage.
To avoid another fight breaking out, Hien demanded Izutsumi and Toshiro come with them. She refused to let Toshiro wallow in misery in his room all day, and it would make Maizuru happy to see them going out and doing fun things like kids their age.
Izutsumi said she wasn’t drinking alcohol, and Hien said she had to swear not to tell Maizuru anything about tonight. Izutsumi could care less, as long as she got a soda and some snacks, which, she did, because she was spoiled.
Toshiro didn’t sing, but he had plenty to drink. He watched the others dance and belt out lyrics to 90s city pop songs, forcing Izutsumi to join them. She said she wouldn’t sing unless Toshiro did a duet with her, a Cheshire grin on her face. Little brat.
With enough beers in his system, he obliged, and it was liberating, singing at the top of his lungs with the people’s company he adored most in this world.
Beni brought her digital camera, so Hien wanted to take pictures, coercing Toshiro into them.
"C'mon, Toshiro! Smile!"
"I'm fuckin' smiling, aren't I?!"
"You call that a smile?! You look constipated!"
Izutsumi giggled at all their bickering. Beni complained they wouldn't take any pictures at this rate, because they kept on fussing. They managed to find the right pose, Beni taking the photos.
"I blinked!" Tade whined. "Do another!"
"Then don't fuckin' blink then!" Hien chastised.
"For fuck's sake..." Toshiro groaned. "How many pictures are we gonna take? I want more beer."
"Guys, I think we stayed here for more than an hour..." Izutsumi reminded them, looking at the mess they made of the room they booked for the night. "They're gonna kick us out."
The karaoke staff did in fact, kick them out for their rowdy behavior.
They stumbled out of the building, louder than before, causing a ruckus in the middle of the street. Izutsumi was the only one that didn’t drink, finding their drunk antics irritating, especially when they started doting on her.
"Aren't you the cutest?!" Beni gushed, ruffling Izutsumi's hair.
"Quit it!" Izutsumi snapped at them, a blush on her face. "You guys stink of booze!"
"You better not tell Maizuru, I mean it!" Hien pointed at her, warning with a scowl on her flushed face.
"I said I won't already! Jeez!"
Their laughter could be heard from down the block, Tade wrapped an arm around Toshiro and Beni. Hien pulling a reluctant Izutsumi along the sidewalk, talking about their night out.
“Look who it is!”
Just their luck. They ran into Daisuke’s gang, walking in the opposite direction, noticing them and trying to get their attention. Toshiro's face fell. A moment of bliss was easily ruined by the people that caused him and his family nothing but pain and suffering.
Woken from their drunken stupor, Hien scowled at them.
“What the hell do you want?” She sneered. “Can’t you leave us alone?! You already bother us enough at school!”
Izutsumi hid behind Beni, glaring at them. Tade, Toshiro, and Hien standing in front of the two.
“Who are those guys?” She asked quietly.
“Just a couple of idiots,” Tade said. "Ignore them."
“Out with your girlfriends again, eh, Nakamoto?” Daisuke asked, grinning. It turned out that they weren't going to let them off easy, blocking their path when they tried to walk past, looking for trouble. “Say, Nakamoto, why do you keep ‘em all to yourself? Why can’t we get a little action? They're hot and we want a piece for ourselves. And I see there's a new one with you. Never seen her before," he said, eyeing Izutsumi, glaring back at him. "What's your name, cutie?"
“Stay away from them,” Toshiro warned, sobering up to give them a firm warning. “Do what you want with me, but keep them out of this.”
“Ugh! Fuck off already!” Hien shouted, stepping forward. “Like we’d ever get anywhere near your ugly asses!”
“You bitch,” one of Daisuke’s friends growled. “We should teach ‘em a lesson.”
“Yeah!” They rioted with encouraging words, not afraid to put their hands on women if it ever came to it.
Izutsumi slipped from Tade's grasp, taking a bold step forth.
“Izutsumi!” Hien called after her, but she ignored her, lunging at them.
“Stay away!” She threatened. Toshiro’s heart stopped when one of the thugs pulled her by the hair and tossed her to the ground, a switch flipped in his brain, and his blood started to boil.
Hien’s eyes flashed murderously. “How dare you touch her?!”
Toshiro put an arm out, stopping her.
“Hien,” he murmured, keeping her grounded. Izutsumi rolled on her stomach, wincing, trying to get back on her feet.
“Oh, he's suddenly got balls now?” Daisuke laughed, getting in Toshiro’s face. “And the fuck are you gonna do, faggot? Want us to give you another beating? You like it when we do, don’t you—“
“Shut up.” Toshiro snarled, fists clenched.
Daisuke’s face heated up in fury. “The fuck did you just say?!"
Toshiro winced, tugging at his ear. Maybe the alcohol fueled his anger, all he wanted to do was get his hands bloody and start swinging. “All you do is talk and talk in my fuckin’ ear! Your words don’t mean shit!”
The rival gang gawked at Toshiro's outburst like he had grown two heads. “Hah?!”
“I'm sick of letting you toss me around! So you want a fuckin' fight?! I'll fuckin' give you one!” Toshiro snarled. He had enough, grabbing Daisuke by the collar of his shirt and pulling him close, smashing his forehead against Daisuke’s nose, hard enough for it to break. His boys were taken by surprise, seeing him get knocked on the ground, right on his ass.
"Nii-chan...?" Izutsumi sat up with wide eyes, as Toshiro cocked his head, dark eyes cold, lips curled into a ferocious snarl, the look of a true delinquent.
“Hien, Tade,” he ordered. “Let's fuck them up!"
"You don't even have to ask." Hien cracked her knuckles.
"Izutsumi, Beni, stay back!" Tade craned her neck from side to side. Izutsumi nodded, Benichidori at her side in an instant. Tade was taller than everyone there, towering over the thugs. Despite her docile apperance, she could be deadly when provoked.
Daisuke wasn’t through with Toshiro yet, eager to pick another fight with him. Both groups clashed, each of them taking on a thug for themselves. For the first time ever, Toshiro fought back, giving the bastard a piece of his mind. He took a few blows, but he refused to let them knock him down, not this time.
He showed them what a Nakamoto was really made of.
Beni helped pick Izutsumi up, and Izutsumi jumped at the first boy in sight, clawing at his face.
When they tired themselves, it started to rain, the downpour heavy on Toshiro’s back, making his uniform stick to his body, hair clinging on his skin. He was still running on adrenaline, panting, droplets of water running down his face.
All of Daisuke’s boys, including their leader, were at a major disadvantage against their fighting skills. The truth was, they were trained to fight ruthlessly from a young age, and any ordinary thug was no match for them. If Toshitsugu wanted to, he could have their lifeless bodies thrown into a ditch, to be forgotten about the very next day.
Toshiro was doing them a favor, enabling them all those times in the past. If he wanted to, he could kill them.
A siren blared. Someone had called the cops.
“Shit, let’s get out of here man!” Just like that, the delinquents rose up to their feet like cowards, injured and terrified.
“This ain’t over!” Toshiro knew Daisuke was bluffing, running with his tail between his legs. The water splashed beneath their fast footsteps, booking it down the block and disappearing around the corner.
The cop lights shone on the rest of them, catching their breaths after the brutal fight had ended, bloody and beaten.
Maizuru came to pick them up from the police station, worried to tears at their state of condition.
Hien was explaining to the cops what happened, and Maizuru was checking on their wounds. Their father was on a business trip, so they were her responsibility. Some of his men stayed behind to mediate during situations like this, and there was no doubt word would get back to him.
"Oi," he nudged Izutsumi, sitting next to him. "You alright?" He gave her a tired smile.
Izutsumi blinked the tears away from her eyes, punching Toshiro's chest.
"Idiot..." She whispered, clinging to his shirt, hugging him.
Toshiro petted the back of her head.
"Sorry for worrying you," he murmured with heavy guilt.
When Toshitsugu's men were finished talking with the police, they had their driver take them home promptly.
Maizuru tended to Toshiro's bruises last. He could tell she smelled the booze off his lips, but she chose not to ask about it. Teenagers did stupid things. She wasn't going to scold him for that. Toshiro knew what he did was reckless.
But man, did it feel good in that very moment. To exact his revenge on those bastards.
“Your father wants you to lead this family one day,” Maizuru said eventually, breaking the silence. “At this rate, I’m not sure if you will be able to.”
“They hurt Izutsumi,” he told her. “All of this keeps happening because of me. I am the problem.”
“Toshiro,” Maizuru rubbed his back softly. “This is not your burden—“
“It is!” Toshiro snapped, shrugging her hand off. “You don’t have to pretend like it isn’t…” He scoffed, gritting his teeth. Maizuru flinched at his venomous words. “The only way for me to solve it is if I leave.”
“What?” Maizuru whispered. “What do you mean? Leave Okinawa?"
“I’m going to university,” Toshiro decided, bringing one knee to his chest. He itched for a cigarette. “But I will not be leading the clan or the business. Toshiyuki or Toshizane will take my place.”
“But…” Maizuru was trying to make sense of this, scooting closer. “Are you sure? Have you decided where you will go?"
“Not here. Not anywhere here, for the matter,” Toshiro said. He remembered the magazines he read about Western culture, the music he listened to, the flashy television shows. “I’m going to leave Japan.”
Maizuru held her breath.
“And I don’t want you to stop me,” Toshiro said, softer. He looked her in the eye. “I don’t wish for anyone to stop me. If this means they can live their lives out of harm’s way, so be it.”
It was quiet again. Maizuru exhaled, staring off into the night skies, hands folded in her lap.
“If that’s what you want, then I will not stop you…” She said, brows furrowed in apprehension. “But you will have to be the one to tell your father.”
“I know,” Toshiro said with a quiet sigh. She touched his back, cautious, then he relaxed under her gentle hands. She played with his soft hair, reminding him of how she brushed it before bed when he was younger.
How he yearned to go back to that time, but now, this would do. Maizuru understood, rubbing his back once more, with the love only a mother could give her child.
His father did not hide his disappointment when Toshiro said he will be studying abroad.
It was expected, as Maizuru warned him he wouldn’t take it lightly. However, Toshiro didn’t back down.
After the rough aftermath, Hien, Tade, Beni hung out with him under the bridge close to their route to school—a reluctant Izutsumi tagging along.
Hien said if Toshiro was going to leave, they were going to follow him.
He didn’t understand such loyalty, telling them that they shouldn’t just give up on their futures, as he was still deciding on his.
“Maybe we won’t go to America,” Hien said. “Kyoto doesn’t sound too bad. We can open a school there.”
“Really?” Benichidori asked, sitting up. “Can we really do that?”
“Sure, why not?” Hien smirked.
“I wanna go, too!” Tade said, immediately agreeing with their ideas.
Toshiro chuckled, and they all looked at him. Smiles, from him, were as rare as they come.
“Do what you want,” he said with a small smile. “I don’t think father cares.”
“Izutsumi?” Beni asked, everyone looking at her, poking at the grass with a stick she found. “Wanna come with us?”
“Father won’t let me,” she grumbled. “So just forget it. I’m not old enough like you guys.”
Hien ruffled her hair. “Doesn’t mean you can’t always visit later!”
Izutsumi batted her hand away. “I don’t wanna visit! I’m fine here.”
“Are you sure?” Tade asked. “When we’re all gone, all you’ll have is Toshiyuki and Toshizane…”
“And they aren’t exactly the nicest to you, either,” Hien added.
“Hmph,” Izutsumi pouted. “So what?”
“Leave her,” Toshiro said. “Maizuru will still be around. She’s about to start high school soon.”
“Alright,” Hien sighed. “Fine, but don’t come crying to us when you’re lonely.”
Izutsumi stuck her tongue out at her. “I won’t!”
“Will too!”
“Will not!”
Toshiro, Beni, and Tade cackled at their bickering. The sun was about to set soon, hiding beneath the passing clouds. The wind blew, and Toshiro inhaled, taking in the familiar hometown he had spent all his life in, as he’d have to depart with it very soon.
No one bothered Toshiro anymore. His school bullies backed down, and thugs steered clear of him after hearing what he did to Daisuke and his gang. While isolated from potential new friends, he had his old ones right by his side, so he was okay with it. He studied for his entrance exams, passing with flying colors.
His father couldn’t even look Toshiro in the eye anymore, pretending he didn’t exist whenever he was in the house. Toshiyuki and Toshizane were no longer permitted to speak to him either. Only Maizuru and the girls.
Izutsumi stayed behind. She acted like it didn’t affect her, knowing she’d be alone, without them to take her places to have fun like a girl her age, but the truth was she didn’t know how to say goodbye.
The night before Toshiro and the girls left their family home to begin their new lives, Izutsumi gave him another Ramune bottle.
“For good luck,” she told him.
Hien, Beni, and Tade traveled to Kyoto, while Toshiro headed across the ocean to America.
Since then, contact with Izutsumi had lessened, only hearing from Maizuru every now and then. Nothing from their father or their brothers.
At least, for a short while, until his father sent his trusted men of the Nakamoto clan to keep a close eye on Toshiro. Even here, Toshiro would be a prisoner, someone around the corner watching his every move.
They came with a message. His father wanted Toshiro to come back.
Toshiro told him to eat shit, and he had to transfer universities, moving to another city to lay low from their surveillance. If they followed him again, he would fight them off if he had to. He wanted them to leave him alone. He knew if he told Maizuru she would suggest he come back, but Toshiro didn’t want to. He couldn’t.
Running away just makes you a disgrace to our clan, his father had told him. I hope you reconsider this childish choice you’re making, otherwise, do not show your face here ever again.
And here he was, trying to drag him back.
Toshiro kept moving forward instead, as to spite his father.
He applied to another university as a transfer student, attending orientation with a clean slate. He refused to let his past follow him here, and if he were reckless, he’d get himself into serious trouble. He had a chance to start over, so he had to give this new life another shot.
A week later, he met with his advisor, who introduced him to Kabru and Namari. Kabru was a social sciences grad student, and Namari was a physical education student, the two welcoming a meek Toshiro to a whole new environment. They knew where he came from, but they still wanted to be friends with him anyway. They didn’t use him, nor were they cold toward him. They were one of the few people he was able to be himself around.
They took him out for drinks, showed him around town, and when Kabru had asked where Toshiro was staying, he said he was just here for orientation and hadn’t decided if he wanted to make the transfer yet. He couldn’t tell Kabru he was secretly running from his controlling father, and decided against it, letting his guard down.
He confessed he just wanted somewhere to stay.
In an act of kindness, Kabru told him his apartment had an empty room, and he didn’t mind having Toshiro as a roommate. With an encouraging nod from Namari, Toshiro uprooted the rest of his old life and moved in with Kabru eventually.
His father’s men stopped following him around, and Toshiro was able to breathe for once in his life.
American culture was fascinating, but one thing in particular that stood out to him was the way everyone expressed themselves. Their sexual and gender identity, political beliefs vary from person to person. People had lived so freely here. Whether it be insane frat parties, drunken fist fights at dive bars, exotic fashion, the scene was shameless, and Toshiro was in love with it all.
He had called Hien on the phone for advice, wondering if he made the right decision, if he fit in among this type of crowd. She told him the kid that broke Daisuke’s nose for Izutsumi’s sake would look him in the eye and call him a pussy, and that the Toshiro she knew was no longer afraid of anything.
After that, Toshiro was transformed by Kabru’s influence. He let his hair grow out. He got piercings. He dressed more expressively, finding delight in ripped jeans, fishnets, and mesh. He could wear makeup whenever he wanted. While there were judging eyes, he pushed himself to ignore them. He didn’t want to live his life trapped in a shell, controlled by his father anymore. He wanted to break free, experience the taste of youth, drunken nights spent with friends, a fist fight in some random bar, stumbling home and collapsing on his bed, rough hangovers in the morning.
He also wanted to cry on the phone to Maizuru, telling her how sorry he was for all that happened. He was sorry for spending every other day in the school’s nurse office with bandaids on his face, an ice pack to his head, from getting ganged up on outside by school bullies. For all the times Hien begged him to fight back.
He wanted to cry about it all, and she let him.
Toshiro took a biology class this semester. It was a topic of interest for him, so he was looking forward to where this would take him.
Most of the time, if he wasn’t speaking with Kabru or Namari, he kept to himself. He joined the school’s martial arts program, needing something to take his mind off the shit he dealt with the past two years.
Without his father’s men following him around anymore, he was able to blend in with normal society. He made friends. He tried to pursue his first relationship with a kind-hearted girl he met through one of his elective courses, but was turned down. Fortunately, he had gotten over it, and they remained friends. His first rejection turned out quite alright. He was excelling in his studies. It was the perfect distraction, just what he needed. He was happier, not quite where he wanted to be, but he was getting there.
Then, one fateful day, Laios Touden came crashing into his life. A force of nature that turned everything upside down.
Six foot tall, unruly blond curls, honey-gold eyes unlike Toshiro had ever seen before, sat down right next to him. Cypress filled Toshiro’s nose, shuffling awfully close to him, unable to take his eyes off Toshiro.
“Hi,” he whispered, muscles threatening to burst from the varsity jacket he was wearing. “I’m Laios.”
Toshiro could just get up and find another seat. He didn’t have to say anything back. He was free to do that now, but the more he stared at Laios, he could sense that he would be a stubborn one to shake off, even from a mile away. There was just something about him that kept Toshiro pinned to his seat, his words caught in his throat. Laios was handsome, had a beautiful smile, and he was serious trouble. Toshiro was in trouble.
“Hello," he replied, timid. "My name is Toshiro."
“Hi,” Laios said again, a faint blush on his cheeks. He fiddled with his pencil, remembering what he wanted to say. Dare Toshiro say he found his flustered mannerisms endearing. Someone who just saw him as a classmate, one who addressed him casually, not out of fear, not out of any sort of familiarity. It was refreshing, truly. “So, um, do you mind if I copy your notes? Kane’s going super fast and I can’t keep up…”
The worst Toshiro could do was say no. Instead, he slid his book closer to Laios’ direction, allowing his tiresome classmate to copy his notes. He had the aura of a sad puppy that needed attention, or else they'd crumble to dust if left neglected. Toshiro was enamored with this beautiful, foolish man, and he was helping Laios before he could even stop himself.
When Laios entered his life, he dove head first, following Toshiro after class to track him down and ask him to join his club. Toshiro had always been a wallflower, watching everything pass him by. Somehow, he was noticed by Laios, a man with a personality as bright as the burning sun, one that everyone couldn’t look away from even if they tried, as it hovered in every corner.
He was the complete opposite of Toshiro, hiding in the shadows, ready to disappear before anyone could notice him. Rambunctious, opinionated, oblivious, a bona fide idiot — the kind of person Toshiro should avoid at all costs.
Yet, by a miracle, he had fallen for this man’s charms. Toshiro had fallen for him. He opened his heart and got swept away, to be held and to never let go of. He had found a sense of belonging, a new home.
Laios took him by the hand as gently as possible, and guided him to a path of blooming flowers, clear as day, and the only thing he wanted Toshiro to do in return, was to just hold on.
Where would this path take them? At first, the answer was yet to be seen, then Toshiro found himself on a plane, returning from Kyoto to his new life.
He ran right back into Laios’ arms, and he realized he was the answer Toshiro was searching for all this time. Him, Laios Touden, the bane of his existence, and the love of his life. His very first. Pure, unyielding, unconditional.
On this frightening path, he found the courage to do what was desperately needed since leaving home. Toshiro was going to choose Laios.