Chapter Text
“I need time to think”
“I chose to marry Penelope Featherington, not Lady Whistledown!’
“I need to go, I’ll walk back home”
Penelope had replayed that moment in her head over and over again for the past week. The sensation of throwing up not only being caused by the memories but also by her current situation.
Penelope was with child. In her womb, she carried the child of the man who hated her. Twisting the ring on her finger aimlessly, the bile in her throat rose once again. She felt so stupid at that moment. How she thought herself in love and gave herself to him before being completely honest. Now she carried his child and he hated her.
She wanted to scream and yell but she was not afforded such luxury. She knew what she had to do. She could not trap him in this marriage. He did not want this anymore. She could not do to him as Marina had attempted. He deserved a marriage where he would not grow to resent his wife. She refused that life for her child.
A had instinctively went to her stomach, as she cradled it with fear of what was to come.
Penelope lifted the floorboard underneath her desk. There she grabbed the money she had saved from her Lady Whistledown endeavors. Hands trembling as she collected her money for her escape. She would find a home in another place where she would pass herself as a widow. There she would have her child, they would be okay. They had to be okay.
She gathered a few important belongings in a small bag. Important things to her that she had to bring along. She set the small bag on the floor before walking over to her desk.
Penelope grabbed a sheet of paper and her quill and began writing her explanation to her mother. Once she felt it was enough, she folded the paper and placed it in an envelope. She then placed the center of her bed for her maid to find in the morning.
She contemplated leaving a letter addressed to Colin. In the end, her heart overpowered her brain and she decided to leave him one last correspondence.
Dear Colin,
I know you do not wish to speak with me. I do hope you read this letter before discarding it. If you do not read, I believe I do deserve your ire. For I have not been truthful to you. I release you from our engagement. You are free to find a love which you do not resent. I am very sorry I have hurt you in this manner. It has been the greatest regret in my life to bring you affliction. In this letter, you’ll find the engagement ring enclosed. Again, I can never truly apologize enough to you.
Penelope Featherington
Penelope grabbed an envelope and placed it inside. She then pulled the engagement ring that adorned her left hand and placed it gently in as well. A sob escaped her lips as she thought of the life that could have been. But it seemed her mother had been right all along. Love had done nothing but hurt her. She placed this one addressed to Colin along with the one for her mother. She had faith that Rae would deliver it to its rightful recipient.
It seemed they had more in common than thought, they both ran from their problems.
Grabbing her bag, she walked around her room looking around one last time. A sense of calm washed over her as a tear slipped down her face gently. With a deep breath escaping her lungs she opened the door and made her way out to the servant's exit. She fastened the cloak she had worn many times and slipped the hood over her curls.
She made it outside without arousing the suspicion of others. She looked up to the sky where the moon shone with prominence and the stars glistened with all their beauty. She made her way down the street as she looked to start her new life.
“Penelope? Where are you headed at this time?”