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We could have been … us.
Us. How can such a short, simple word contain so many complicated, complex feelings?
It's only two letters. How fitting, since that's exactly the minimum number of entities you need to form an us. That’s what you had in mind, Crowley, right? A group of the two of us?
What does being us mean to you, Crowley?
Does it mean you expect me to betray the purpose I was created for, throwing away the chance to do good and protect humans now that I have the power to actually make a difference?
Does it mean you get to sneer at me, calling me an idiot every time I dare to believe that I can change things for the better when you can’t find this belief in yourself?
Does it mean you expect me to follow you blindly just because you crush your lips against mine at the worst possible moment, giving me a cruel, calculated glimpse of what I could have if I went with you?
I don’t want an us like that, Crowley. I don’t think you’d want that either.
Again: what does being us mean?
Does it mean you and me spending our existence together, being safe, being free of the threat Heaven and Hell still pose?
Does it mean fighting together to be allowed to do what we feel is right without our actions being evaluated against heavenly or hellish standards neither of us identifies with?
Does it mean you long to touch me, to hold me close, to kiss me as much as I want to do these things with you?
I can't tell you how much I want this version of us, Crowley. I hope it's what you want, too.
Us is a powerful word. It unites as much as it separates. Isn't it funny how an us also always creates a them?
It’s us or them , Gabriel had said in preparation for Armageddon. You all better make sure it's us.
Us or them. Angels or demons. Me or you.
Only Armageddon didn't result in either-or, did it? We made sure that both angels and demons could exist, reaching a point where they felt they could find something that mattered more than choosing sides.
Where they could be an us that was independent of being one or the other.
I think I understand it now, Crowley. What you wanted us to be. I’m sorry it took me so long.
But running away won’t solve anything.
Who would be the them to our us if we ran away, Crowley? Everyone except the group of the two of us? Everyone else in the entire world? The universe?
If there'll be anything like that after the Second Coming.
Do you honestly want us to leave them all behind?
Don’t make it an us or them, Crowley. Please help me. To make sure there will be an us and them.