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They are ill prepared for the Venatori ambush as they amble up the road towards Skyhold. Being so close to the fortress has lowered their guard and the discoveries of the Frostback Basin still occupy much of their thoughts. If not for a poorly aimed arrow that hits Blackwall’s shield instead of his chest, Keela thinks Corypheus could have claimed victory this day. Although it becomes apparent that these foes are here to capture instead of kill as they use nets and shackles and magic that subdues. Another mistake.
Unfortunately for them, the Inquisitor is not inclined to take prisoners.
“How is everyone?” Keela asks after when there is red cloth and blood on the ground, trees and leaves left scorched in the wake of her fury.
“Idiots,” Sera mumbles as she pulls an arrow free from a fallen foe.
“Just dandy, Inquisitor,” Blackwall answers as he wipes his sword into the grass.
When Solas remains quiet she turns to find him tending to a wound on his arm. The upper sleeve of his tunic is torn, blood tainting the edges. “It is not deep, I will be fine,” he says.
“Good, let’s-” She stops as Solas stumbles forward and almost tumbles to the ground if not for a desperate grip on his staff. His skin is cold and clammy when she reaches him and the blacks of his eyes shiver. Panic grips her heart as he takes a ragged breath. “Solas!”
“Where’s the bugger that nicked you?” Sera follows his gaze and pulls a dagger from the pile of corpses. She sniffs at the blade before teasing the tip of her tongue along the edge. Her nose crinkles and a loud, disgusted noise fills the valley as she spits the foul taste from her mouth. “Truth juice. Could be worse although maybe not for him, ya? Think he’d rather eat it than unclench.”
“Will he be all right?”
“Depends what you ask him.”
“Sera-”
“It’ll last for maybe an hour and then he’ll have hammers knocking in his head, probably blow chunks. There’s a weed that’ll help a little.”
Keela sighs and glances up the road ahead. They are still a few hours away from Skyhold and by the way Solas leans against her, she doubts they will get very far. “Sera, you and Blackwall go find what you need. Help me get him over into those trees first.”
Solas falls back against bark as they place him on the ground, a trembling groan leaving his mouth. He looks more uncomfortable than pained, nervous eyes darting between them all but not meeting their gaze.
“So, Solas, now that you’re loose, how about-”
“Just go find the plant, Sera.”
“But-” Keela gives her a hard glare. “Gah, no fun.”
Once they’re gone, she settles close to his side. A hand reaches out to comfort him, stills when he jerks away. “I am sorry. It is, I cannot-”
“Shh, just rest.”
They sit beneath the shifting shadows of the leaves above, the sound of Solas’ labored breaths and quiet birdsong filling the space between them. There is no magic to combat poisons, but he fights with every squeeze of his fists and long blink, focus intent on keeping himself in control. Keela keeps her mind occupied with organizing her pack and spreading blankets beneath to give him comfort, all the while biting the inside of her mouth to stop any questions from flying out.
It is some time before either of them speak again and his voice almost startles her although she is happy to hear it closer to its normal cadence again. “You will not ask me anything?”
“Tempting, but I’m not going to do that to you, Solas. Do you really think I’d take advantage?”
“No, yet I know you wish for the truth. Your thoughtfulness is more than I deserve.”
She pauses, head tilting. “Do you want to tell me?”
He looks at her directly for the first time, haunted and heavy. “I have no desire to keep secrets from you, vhenan. You must know that.”
A breath of bitter heat fills her lungs. “Then why do you?”
“It would likely destroy what is between us and I find myself selfishly unwilling to allow that to happen for as long as possible. I do not wish to part with you. I…for as long as I have lived I have never experienced what I feel for you.” Keela’s brows lift at his confessions and the fact that of all things, she would never name him selfish.
She can’t deny after all his half truths and deflections, she sometimes questioned if this love is indeed true. To know that it is…she ducks her head, embarrassed by her doubt and pleasure at this new warmth filling her up. “You could tell me. I might surprise you.”
He gives a brief smile and she feels the weight of the adoration and agony in his eyes. “You always do. Even so, it is a truth that offers no comfort and I would not tie your fate to mine anymore than it already must be.”
“I would,” she whispers and he moans, burying his face behind his hands. Silent sobs shake his body and for a moment all she can do is watch, stunned by the sight. Keela moves forward, wrapping her arms around neck, and Solas falls into the embrace. His arms are tight around hers, the hold strong like she might somehow slip through his grasp.
There have been many occasions where she wanted to shake him for answers, almost saw them at the tip of his tongue before his jaw snapped shut. Perhaps this is the chance both of them have been waiting for, but would it be real? Keela waits until his breathing is even into her collar and his fingers let go of bunched fabric. A kiss against his neck, then- “All right, I have a question for you.”
Solas pulls away and glances at her with apprehension and, she thinks, just a little bit of relief too. She runs her thumb over his lips and smirks. “What really happened to the last of the petite fours we brought back from Halamshiral?”
He stares at her, mouth agape, before the misery across his face transforms into mirth. Amusement takes hold of them both and she feels the tension bleeding from his body with every note and knows she has made the right choice, even if the secrets between them must stay for awhile more.
His touch turns fond, gentle. “I am afraid I could not resist them after all.”
“That is one secret down, then. See? Not so hard.” She tastes his laughter at that as she presses her mouth to his. “I love you. Tell me you know that?”
There is that sadness she cannot understand still there and she knows now it will take more than potions and poisons to see it gone, and maybe never completely, but she clings to the growing spark of hope in his gaze. “I do.”