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Watching humans sleep is troublesome. When they sleep, they become so vulnerable, so dead to the world. To a higher being, the sight should be a power surge, a reminder that yes, you are above this weak little thing, who could be killed with a flick of the wrist. But if somehow the human just happens to be your god, those thoughts are less empowering and more terrifying. Tomoe began to notice this this the first night Nanami stayed in the shrine.
Well, technically it was the second, since Tomoe had more or less skipped out on night one. But that wasn’t important.
They were traveling back to the human world when Nanami yawned, “Tomoe, I’m tired.”
The fox grunted. “Okay.”
“No, Tomoe, I’m really tired.”
“Good for you.”
“Tomoe,” Nanami whined, “Can we find a place to rest or something? Just for a little bit.”
Tomoe scowled. “Unless you want to become a nice tasty snack for a hoard of yokai, no, we can’t.”
“Nanami-sama, Tomoe-dono would be happy to carry you to the shrine on his back,” Kotetsu chirped up.
Tomoe glared at the spirit, about to yell at it for speaking in his place, but before he could Onikiri had joined in. Suddenly there was a little chorus of squeaking spirits convincing a very tired girl to command her new servant to give her a piggy back ride home. Tomoe growled softly and rubbed his wrists, feeling the cursed binds tightening as her will grew.
Nanami looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “Tomoe,” she said, raising her arms like a child, “carry me.”
With a click of his tongue, Tomoe dug an arm into Nanami’s waist and flung her over his shoulder, carrying her like a potato sack. Nanami screeched while the spirits yelled, but Tomoe kept walking. He’d upheld the request just fine.
Eventually the spirits quieted. Nanami protested long after, screaming and thrashing in his arm, but before long she stopped too. Tomoe walked in silence.
Nanami’s head hung a little ways down his shoulder. Tomoe could feel as her breathing slowed and quieted down. He felt the subtle change in her body temperature and heard how her heart calmed inside her chest as she drifted into sleep. Even in such a position, the girl had fallen asleep. Tomoe sighed. What a pathetic excuse for a god, couldn’t even stay awake long enough to get to the shrine. Not to mention humans became completely defenseless in sleep, and they were still surrounded by yokai.
Honestly, he should have left her behind for the others to eat. It might teach the girl some discipline.
Tomoe took her back to the shrine, grumbling the entire way. The spirits ran ahead to prepare her bed. Tomoe went inside and slide off both of their shoes. Nanami sighed softly against his chest.
“Stupid girl,” Tomoe muttered, bringing her to the bedroom. He lowered and gently dropped her onto the futon. She grunted, but didn’t show any sign of waking up. Tomoe watched her, scrunching his nose in disgust. It was pathetic how vulnerable little girls became. He could have tossed her out the window and she wouldn’t wake up until she went splat on the ground. If anything happened she’d be completely screwed. That had to be some kind of evolutionary flaw. Without knowing it, Tomoe sat staring.
As disgusting as it all was, it made his heart beat just a little faster. Because she was soft, and she was unprepared, and she was completely exposed like this. As a familiar, the duty to protect is an instinct. He had to protect her that much more as she slept. Thoughts of Nanami’s comfort, Nanami’s wellbeing, Nanami’s safety raced through his mind. It pissed him off. Contract be damned.
Tomoe bitterly ran off the list of all his chores to himself. He had to clean. He had to prepare the shrine for the new “god”. He didn’t have time to sit and watch little girls sleep. And quite frankly, he didn’t want to.
Tomoe pushed up onto his feet and left Nanami’s side to fix up the room. He felt the contract binds faintly tugging at him, asking him to stay behind, just so he could be sure there was nothing to worry about. He consoled it by telling himself that it didn’t matter to him if Nanami spontaneously combusted while he was off doing his job. Who the hell cared about what happened to a stupid girl like that? Not him, that’s for sure.
In any case, nothing would happen. Whether he’d admit it or not, knowing that was comforting.
In any case, Tomoe worked hard through the night to make the shrine perfect for its new master.
And in any case, when he was done cleaning and redecorating, Tomoe lowered himself down a little ways away from Nanami’s bed where he could keep watch. He was far enough away where he wouldn’t become irritated by her very existence, but close enough that he could still hear the gentle drum of her heart and make sure it was still beating.
Tomoe groaned quietly to himself, realizing that this poor excuse for a god would be in charge of his life for a long, long time.
Nanami yawned as she walked into the shrine, stretching up into the air. Tomoe followed behind, eyes scanning for any more dangers. After just coming back from what little remained of Mizuki and his shrine, it was only natural for the familiar to be on high alert. Another slip up like that would put him to shame.
Beyond that, he couldn’t stand it if he let Nanami fall into danger’s arms again. His tail swished softly as he thought it all over. He’d forgotten how breakable she was. Until he saw her scraped knee, it didn’t occur to him that she was different than Mikage, or anyone he’d met before.
The entire way home he’d been thinking about how fragile she was. One fall had made her bleed. One stupid twist of the ankle would snap her bone. One wrong step and she’d be dead. What a disturbing realization. It made Tomoe’s gut twist.
He watched the girl with the giddy will o’ wisps. She swept them up into her arms, assuring them that she was just fine. They fawned over her, damning the snake, praising Tomoe, then damning Mizuki some more.
Tomoe watched quietly. Nanami was smiling so wide, telling the spirits that Mizuki was just lonely (Tomoe called bullshit on that one), but agreeing that Tomoe was really great for playing the hero yet again. How she couldn’t worry about her fragile humanity after everything drove Tomoe mad. How did they live like that? Are humans unaware of the delicateness of their bodies? Or do they just not care?
Tomoe’s blood boiled a little at the thought of it.
“Nanami,” he called to her. When she ignored him for playing with Onikiri and Kotetsu, he tried again. “Nanami! Look at me!”
“Huh?” She turned to him, completely clueless. “What is it?”
He glared. “Things are going to be different from now on, you know. If Mizuki could get to you, who knows who else could. If you really insist on going to school then we’ll need to take some more precautious steps. If you ask me, you should forego school altogether. I don’t see what a god needs to learn outside of the shrine, so there shouldn’t be a problem if you just stay right-”
“Tomoe, are you worried about me?”
The question shook him. “Huh?”
“It’s just you seemed really on edge the whole way home.” Nanami played with the seam on her skirt. “And now you’re more or less ranting about being careful. Did Mizuki really scare you that much?”
Tomoe scoffed. “That snake did not scare me. I’m not worried, I’m doing my duty. It’d be bothersome if you got swept up again, especially by someone more powerful than an ex-familiar. Believe me, my personal emotions have nothing to do with it.”
“So being a worry wart is part of the job description?”
“Exactly.”
Nanami sighed. “Tomoe, it’s okay.” She pushed herself onto her feet. “Mizuki wasn’t a bad guy.”
“Oh right, he only kidnapped you,”
“He’s misguided, but not bad.” Nanami stuck her hands on her hips. “Lonely people do strange things, I don’t hold it against him. In any case, I don’t think anything needs to change. I can totally take care of myself. Who the heck would be hunting me down anyways? There’s nothing to worry about, Tomoe.”
“I don’t think you understand,” Tomoe growled through clenched teeth.
“Understand what?”
“Everything.”
“Neither do you!”
“I know more than you.”
“Oh whatever.”
“It’s not whatever, Nanami.” What happens if I lose another god?
Nanami glared at Tomoe. “It is whatever. I’m fine. Everything is fine. It’s great. The world is just dandy.” She turned with a huff. “I’m not worried about anything and you shouldn’t be either. I won’t get kidnapped or whatever again, so stop thinking about it.”
“You can’t just expect me to-”
“I’m going to bed.”
“Nanami!” But she was already marching off to the room. Tomoe swore under his breath, running a hand through his hair.
“Tomoe-dono,” Kotetsu muttered, moving to his side. “You’ve upset Nanami-sama.”
“I know, you don’t have to tell me.”
“Don’t take too much offense, Tomoe-dono,” Onikiri chimed in. “It’s late. Today was very stressful for everyone. Nanami-sama is probably just tired. She’ll be better in the morning.”
“You don’t have to tell me that either.” Tomoe sighed, getting to his feet. “You two can go off too if you want. You’re right, it’s late.”
Together they said, “Yes Tomoe-dono,” before scuttling off. Tomoe heaved another sigh, watching the place where Nanami went off to. The fox had a lot of work to do. He’d spent the entire day searching for Nanami. He didn’t have time to do any of the chores he planned on. If he wanted to stay on schedule he’d have to get them done before morning came.
That being said, Tomoe didn’t move. He just stood, staring at the doorway Nanami had disappeared into. His ears rotated slowly, listening to the sounds of rustling blankets and tired grumbling from the girl. He waited until he heard the noises stop, until her breathing became so quiet that he couldn’t hear anymore. Even then, he stayed completely still, listening.
A few minutes passed before the fox took a step. Slowly, silently, Tomoe walked to Nanami’s room. He thought to himself about his neglected duties, about his own busy day, how all he wanted to do was lay on the porch with a pipe and rest for an hour or so, because he deserved it more than she did. Still, he slid into the girl’s room without any real protest.
She was just a lump of blanket on the futon, curled up and already starting to snore. Tomoe took a minute to make sure that yes, she was indeed asleep, before going to stand by her side.
Worried? Maybe he was. Maybe the snake incident really had hit him hard. Tomoe reached into his kimono and pulled out his pipe. He put it between his teeth and chewed slowly on the end, but didn’t light anything. The smell would certainly wake her up.
Worried. He thought over the word. Tried to match his thoughts to the definition. It made him angry, so he didn’t try for too long.
Damn that girl.
Tomoe kneeled beside the bed. Under the blankets, Nanami’s face peeked out. He looked away, but not before noticing how gentle it all seemed. And not before lifting the blanket just a bit to inspect the injury on her knee. It was small. Really, the wound was very small. But just a few decades ago, that little scrape could very well see her dead. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but it wasn’t impossible by any means.
Tomoe sighed and carefully held Nanami’s knee. He ran his thumb over the bandage. His sensitive nose could pick up the scent of blood. It made his chest tighten.
Making sure not to wake the girl, Tomoe peeled the old bandage off. A streak of red ran across her skin. Hurrying to his feet, Tomoe rushed to get water. He returned with a wet rag, and wiped gently at the dried blood, cleaning out the injury. He tried not to think. Not to think about all of the things that could have gone horribly wrong and what still could. God, he hated this.
Tomoe grumbled and chewed more aggressively on the pipe. He dabbed away every bit of blood before placing one of Nanami’s custom band-aids over it. They had little cartoon kittens on them. What an idiot girl. What an incredibly dense, imbecilic girl.
Tomoe pulled the blanket back over her body and resumed his sitting. He had plenty he had to do. But the thought of leaving her left a sick feeling in Tomoe’s gut. If someone else took her, he’d never forgive it. If somehow her wound became infected or reopened, he needed to be there. Honestly, his thinking at this point was just ridiculous. But it wasn’t something he could help. He’d already lost one god, one more would be too much.
So that’s where Tomoe stayed; kneeling at Nanami’s side, chewing on an unlit pipe, trying very hard to not think of anything at all. He didn’t move until the sun rose.
He could smell the snake a mile away.
Of course. Of fucking course. After having to stand in for his sick god at school, that was the absolute last thing Tomoe needed. The fox sprinted back to the shrine, cursing all the way about Nanami’s uncomfortable school shoes.
He ran inside and quickly yanked them off. His ears popped up onto his head, full alert, trying to pinpoint where the bastard was. He heard Mizuki and Nanami’s voices coming from the girl’s bedroom.
Tomoe nearly spat fire as he shoved open the door. They stopped mid-conversation and shot their attentions to Tomoe.
“Why is he here?” He hissed with a glare.
Onikiri and Kotetsu ran into the room calling, “We thought he could make stew for Nanami-sama.”
“Oh?” Tomoe cocked his eyebrow. “This doesn’t look like cooking. Tell me snake, what are you doing with Nanami?”
Mizuki sat for a minute before adorning the most innocent face he could muster. “It’s a secret,” he cooed.
The sound of cracking bones could be heard as Tomoe, quite literally, kicked Mizuki out of the shrine. With a huff, the fox shooed away the illusion and went back to his normal form. He fell onto a seat and began yelling at Onikiri and Kotetsu for allowing someone like Mizuki to get into the shrine. Nanami watched him silently through hazed eyes the entire time.
Tomoe turned to her. “Nanami,” he called. No response. Furrowing his brow, Tomoe leaned closer to the girl. Slowly, he reached out his hand. Nanami flinched, but let him feel her forehead. The poor girl was burning.
Nanami’s eyes were wide with fear. She watched Tomoe’s hand, as if afraid that he would suddenly try to stab her. The fever must be getting to her. Tomoe lowered his voice and smiled warmly. “Nanami, you’re still a little hot,” he mumbled. “Would you like me to make you some food?” He ran one finger around a loose strand of hair, trying to show her there was nothing to fear. He made sure his touch was gentle and soft as could be.
At first Nanami did nothing. But then she sniffled. Then she choked. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Tomoe gawked as Nanami crumbled and fell into quiet crying right in front of him. “Nanami?” He quickly pulled his hand back. “What wrong?” The girl hid her face behind her hands, furiously wiping away her tears. “Did Mizuki do something to you?” He went to hold her shoulders, but thought better of it after remembering how she was so afraid of him feeling her face. “Nanami...”
With another sniffle, the god lifted her head. She pushed a smile onto her face, but the tears were still coming. “It’s fine,” she half laughed, half sobbed. “I’m fine, Tomoe. I just had a bad dream.”
“A dream...?”
She nodded. Nanami took a breath and pressed her palms against her eyes, trying to stop herself. “What about you? How was school?” she asked, still strained, still smiling.
Tomoe couldn’t help but stare, speechless at first. Finally, he could mutter, “...Nanami, are you sure you’re alright?”
Nanami nodded. “I’m okay...I told you, it was a dream. Just a dream...” she sighed. “I am hungry though. And tired...Mizuki really drained me.”
“I’ll make sure he never finds his way in here again.” Tomoe rested his hand softly on her leg. The girl tensed beneath him. He lowered his voice further, almost down to nothing but a rumble. “What would you like to eat?”
“Ah...” Still, Nanami shifted her leg away, just a bit, just enough for Tomoe to notice. “Miso soup sounds nice.”
“...Just miso?” Slowly, Tomoe pulled his hand back. Something uncomfortable sat in his stomach.
Nanami nodded. “I did eat a bit earlier so I’m not too hungry.” Her body began to sway. “In any case, it just sounds nice...Nothing too much. Just a bowl of warm miso...”
“You should rest.” Again, Tomoe went to touch her, to help her lay back down. Nanami still shied from him. Tomoe frowned, but called over the will o’ wisps. “Help Nanami get comfortable,” he ordered them. “She’s tired, make sure she doesn’t land too hard on the ground or leave her blanket off. I’m counting on you.”
“Yes, Tomoe-dono!”
“I’m not that bad, Tomoe,” Nanami protested weakly. “I can lay down by myself.”
“Think of it as a precaution.” Tomoe pushed to his feet. “I’ll have your miso soon.”
“Thank you, Tomoe...” She was already down, half asleep. As expected, she forgot to pull her blanket up. The spirits tugged it up over her, pushing the edges in underneath her.
“Don’t fall asleep, you have to eat,” Tomoe said, going to the door. He walked out before Nanami had a chance to reply.
The soup only took minutes to make. Store bought miso was man’s greatest invention. Tomoe put the bowl on a tray and brought it back to the room. “Nanami,” he called. “The soup is-”
“Tomoe-dono,” Onikiri whispered harshly. “Nanami-sama has fallen asleep. Shh.”
“Eh? Already?” Indeed she had. Nanami laid on the bed, cheeks flushed red but face relaxed and tender. Her breaths came slow and shallow, rattling just slightly inside her congested chest. Tomoe grimaced looking at her. Even after all the nights she stayed at the shrine, something about her sleeping body irked him.That vulnerability. It still made him so incredibly angry.
“Tomoe-dono, save the miso. Nanami-sama can have it when she wakes up,” Kotetsu murmured, edging towards the door.
“It’ll be cold,” he sighed. Tomoe went to Nanami’s side, placing the soup down. “I saw this coming.” Careful not to touch her, Tomoe fixed the places where the blankets bunched up or didn’t quite cover. Useless girl, couldn’t even put on her own blanket. But she was sick, so he’d give her a break today.
He tried not to look at her face. Her sleeping form sent jolts of emotion through him. It put him on edge. Made his heart beat quicker. He just got so angry. So he focused hard on the blanket.
He wasn’t looking at her, but still his stomach churned. His hands carefully moved past her skin, working to not make contact. She’d made herself very clear. She didn’t want to be touched by him. It made him uncomfortable. He wanted to touch her. When she was crying he wanted to hold her shaking hands. Now he wanted to touch her rosy cheeks. How was a familiar supposed to function without touching his master? Moreover, what was she afraid of? When had he ever hurt her?
Tomoe found himself nearly growling. It pissed him off. All of it really pissed him the hell off. He was sick of it. Sick of taking care of ungrateful little girls, sick of getting worked up every other night, sick of having to pick up the pieces after every travesty that happened at the shrine and to Nanami. She was so much work. So much to take care of. So much to worry about. As Tomoe made the mistake of glaring right at her sleeping face, he realized that that’s all it really was. The pangs of feeling stabbed at his chest and in his stomach, agitating him. The anger came. He cursed her weakness, her fragility, her delicacy, just like he’d done time and time again.
But the anger wasn’t angry. That didn’t make sense. But looking down at Nanami’s face, coated with sweat, struggling to breathe, it made a strange feeling. Watching the sick god scared him. It terrified him. Anger comes from fear, apparently. Maybe it always had.
“God...” Tomoe grumbled. He reached out and wiped away Nanami’s sweat. He had to touch her, there wasn’t a choice. She was burning. More than she was in the morning. Tomoe chewed his lip, thinking about taking her to a doctor.
Humans are so easily killed. Too many times in the past did Tomoe watch humans die of illness. It was all too common and all too real. Even just feeling her face too, Tomoe saw danger. He saw how menacingly his nails pressed into her skin. Such a creature could be ripped to shreds in an instant, or whisked away by the common cold. He didn’t want it to be like that. Really, he didn’t. In that moment, he made a promise to himself to always make sure to be gentle, always careful. Although he’d never say it out loud, Tomoe didn’t want to see this girl hurt.
Fear pounded at his heart. He couldn’t leave. Not tonight. He had to stay close.
Nanami didn’t want to be touched, he knew that. And she probably had a good reason. So he wouldn’t. As much as he could, he wouldn’t touch her.
Tomoe laid down outside of the blanket. He moved down so his head was by her chest. The thudding of Nanami’s heart was right in his ear, making it twitch on every beat. Tomoe sighed and closed his eyes. He wasn’t going to sleep. Not tonight. He didn’t need as much rest as humans did, so it was fine if he missed out a bit. But it felt nice to have to focus on nothing except that gentle thump, thump, thump. So he kept them closed for that reason. If there was even the slightest change in that pattern, he’d know about it the second it happened.
Tomoe spent his night helping Nanami during the times she woke up, and keeping a close tab on her heartbeat while she slept. He didn’t touch her unless it was necessary. Still, it felt unfamiliarly close to Tomoe. There was fear, a lot of fear, but when he was next to her, it offered a small comfort.
A full moon. Tomoe always spent full moon nights on the porch. He and Mikage used to watch the sky together on nights like this. The memories were a bit bitter now, but Tomoe kept up the tradition alone. The pipe lingered in his lips, smoke flowing up into the night air. A half-filled cup of sake hung loosely in his hand. Full moon nights had been somber for twenty years now.
Tomoe lounged across the floor, drifting in and out of sleep. They were well into autumn. He wore a thick yakata to keep the cold out. The world was peacefully silent, quietly perfect. Tomoe blew smoke out over the moon.
Behind him was the soft sound of rustling. His ears flickered slightly in that direction, but Tomoe ignored it, sipping from his cup.
It was soundless again for a few minutes, before a hushed little voice whispered, “Tomoe...”
Tomoe turned to glance behind him. Nanami stood, huddled under a blanket. The moonlight made her features more delicate, more lady-like, he thought. Tomoe’s tail swished lazily. He raised an eyebrow at her.
Nanami shifted awkwardly, playing with the blanket hem. “What are you still doing up?” She asked without making eye contact.
Tomoe pointed a slender finger up into the sky. “The moon is full tonight,” he said. “I always watch the full moon.”
“Do you?” Nanami smiled, laughing a bit. “That’s really cute.”
Tomoe snorted and turned back around. “What about you? Why are you awake at this hour?”
Nanami twisted the blanket around her fingers, watching the ground shamefully. “...I had a nightmare.”
“Is that so?” Tomoe took a long drag from the pipe, letting it fill his lungs.
“Yeah...”
“What should I do about that?” The steamy white billowed out from between his lips. The air around him reeked of the drug.
Nanami laughed again, timidly. She didn’t speak for a moment. Tomoe looked back. “Nanami, do you need anything?”
“Ah...” The god pulled the blanket tighter around herself. “This is stupid and don’t take it weird...But could I sleep with you?” The fox’s ears perked and his eyebrows shot up. A smirk played on his face. Nanami went red. “I mean...not in the same bed or anything but...you know...” Her feet shuffled in place. “A-And don’t think this is me being weird it’s just because of the dream. Just this one night.” She clenched onto the blanket, counting the threads so she wouldn’t have to look at Tomoe. “I’m not a little kid either, this is just a one time thing. A one time thing, okay? So don’t-”
“Nanami.”
With a small squeak, the girl stopped talking. She gulped and looked up at the fox. Tomoe rolled onto his other side so he was facing her. The edges of his yukata slid open, showing his pale skin. Flicking his wrist, he emptied the contents of his pipe into a small dish and put out the flame. “Come,” he ordered, putting his cup and pipe to the side and lifting his arm to make a place for Nanami. When she just stood, he went on, “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t mind and I already know you’re a child so it doesn’t make much of a difference in the end. Besides, you’re a god. I’m in no place to refuse a request from you.”
“...I’m not a child,” she grumbled, but scooted closer to Tomoe.
The fox chuckled as Nanami brought herself down. Slightly red, she pressed herself against the warmth of Tomoe’s chest. His arm went over her back, holding her close, making her blush more.
Tomoe pushed his other arm underneath her head, acting as a pillow. He tugged the blanket over both of them and lowered his head down next to Nanami’s. “Is this comfortable?” He asked. Nanami nodded quickly. “Alright. So tell me about this dream.”
“Huh...?”
Tomoe’s tail brushed against Nanami’s leg. “Tell me what was so terrifying that it made the mighty land god curl up under a blanket with her familiar.”
Nanami puffed out her cheeks. “Are you making fun of me?”
“I’m not.”
“Yes you are, Tomoe!”
“You’re a sorry enough sight as you are, I wouldn’t push you further down into the dirt.”
She scoffed and shoved at his chest, muttering about what a stupid fox he was. But after she calmed down and had nuzzled deeper into his heat, Nanami started to talk. “...It’s really stupid.”
“Hm?”
She licked her lips nervously as she spoke. “It was just you and me in the shrine...and there was all this really weird stuff going on.” Nanami played with a loose string on the blanket. “We figured out someone was hiding somewhere, but we couldn’t find them. Then out of nowhere you collapsed. You’d been poisoned by them.” She laughed nervously. “Stupid, right?”
“Only a bit.”
“Yeah...so you were on the floor...and you weren’t waking up.” She gulped. “And I didn’t know what to do. I just kept on screaming...And you wouldn’t move. And you were so cold...” She trailed off.
Tomoe broke the silence by throwing his head back and laughing. “That’s what made you so scared?”
“Well yeah! It was a lot scarier to actually watch it.”
“What a ridiculous dream.”
Nanami glared. “Wow, sorry.”
He couldn’t stop laughing. Maybe he’d had a little too much sake. “You know nothing like that would ever happen, right?”
“Of course I do!” She shouted.
“Then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“I know...” Nanami heaved a sigh and closed her eyes. “You’re so rude sometimes Tomoe.” The fox only hummed. “Be useful and help me go back to sleep.”
“Oh? And how am I supposed to do that?”
“I don’t know...Tell me a story.”
Tomoe snorted. “Unless you’re looking to hear about my experiences with the tanuki girls, I wouldn’t suggest story time.”
“Gross, don’t tell me that.” Nanami weakly smacked his arm. “Just tell me about something besides that. Anything but that. It doesn’t have to be a story, just talk to yourself.”
“Talk about anything but the tanuki, huh?” Nanami nodded against him. “Alright...” Tomoe turned his head to the back, staring up at the moon. “The moon is full tonight.”
“You showed me. It’s pretty.”
“...Mikage asked me to sit with him every time there was a full moon. We’d drink and talk about business at the shrine.”
“Really...?”
Tomoe nodded, wishing he had his pipe to preoccupy himself with.
“You don’t talk about Mikage a whole lot...” Nanami mumbled.
With a sigh, Tomoe said, “That’s because there isn’t much to talk about.”
“Do you miss him?”
The question caught him off guard. He took a moment, counting the craters on the moon as distraction. “I do,” he said quietly. “He did a lot for me. I feel his absence, of course...”
They were quiet then. Tomoe watched the moon and Nanami watched him. She shifted against him and moved her eyes down. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Tomoe looked back at her. “For what?”
“I’m not sure...but I am.” She curled in on herself. “I’m sorry I came back instead of Mikage. You must have been so excited when you thought he’d finally returned. And then it’s just this human girl...it’s no wonder you were so cranky those first few days.”
Tomoe studied her. Her expression only grew sadder by the second until she looked like she was about to completely break down crying. With a sigh, Tomoe brushed his fingers delicately against the softness of her cheek. “You are my god too,” he reassured her. “You have a lot to learn and a lot to do, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have the power inside of you.” He lowered his head, resting his face centimeters from her hair. “I’m loyal to you too, Nanami. You’re just my god as Mikage was.”
“Really...?” Her voice was soft.
Tomoe nodded. “Yes.”
“Ah...I’m happy.” Her eyes slid shut on their own. The poor girl. Tomoe wiped her hair out of her eyes.
“You’re right, the moon is beautiful tonight.” Tomoe whispered.
“Mhm.”
“You’re alright to sleep now?”
“M...Mhm.”
“...It feels good to have a god to look at the moon with me again.”
“...Mhm...” Her breathing slowed. Tomoe watched the tension on her face melt away into the bliss of sleep.
His heart seized up, just as it always did. But this time it didn’t overtake him with emotion. It was quiet now, a subtle throb of feeling. As Tomoe watched her sleep, pressing into his skin, it felt good. Having her so close, where he could watch her and protect her, it felt wonderfully good. His fingers lingered in her hair, playing idly with the strands.
She was gentle. She was fragile. God, she was incredibly breakable. Like glass. But it was fine since he was there. Nothing would happen. He’d keep her safe. His arm held her tighter.
Nanami could sleep all she wanted. She could make herself as easily targeted as she saw fit. He’d watch out for her. He could put his own worries to rest with his own hands.
She was safe. As long as he was by her side, Nanami was safe. It was the first time he was able to be by her and feel good enough to fall asleep too.
Not an hour later, Tomoe woke up to small hands shaking his shoulders.
“Tomoe,” Nanami whispered breathlessly. “Tomoe. Tomoe. Tomoe!”
“Nanami?” His hand shot out to grab her’s. Nanami gasped and yanked back. “What’s wrong?” He propped himself up on his elbows.
Nanami stared at him, wide eyed. “...O-Oh.” She gulped. “Oh, Tomoe...” The girl hid her face, trying to hold in tears.
Tomoe went rigid. “What happened...?” He leaned forward to touch her wrist.
She laughed. “Nothing, really nothing.”
“It was something. Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” She rubbed her eyes and looked at him, smiling widely. “Don’t think I’m silly, but I was listening to your heartbeat. But there wasn’t anything there and I...well, you know.”
“Heartbeat...?” A yokai heart naturally beats much slower and quieter than a human heart for survival sake. Even more so while they’re sleeping. If a human were listening, of course there would be no way they could pick up on the noise. “Don’t tell me you’re still afraid from your dream.”
Nanami chuckled nervously. “...It was your sleeping face, actually.” She rubbed the tears out of her eyes. “You look so vulnerable when you’re asleep. It terrifies me, so I was just checking to make sure you were still okay...You really worry me, Tomoe.”
Tomoe stared at her. Nanami kept struggling to clear her face, laughing all the while. Slowly, Tomoe turned away from her. “Don’t get scared over someone’s sleeping body.” He didn’t want her to see how wide he was smiling. “Stupid girl.”