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Oftentimes Yelena determines if she loves someone by judging whether or not she’d take a bullet for them.
It’s not necessarily sweet or romantic so to speak, but it’s practical. Given who she is.
For instance, she would without a doubt and no hesitation take a bullet for her dog Fanny. Hell, she’d take a thousand. Any day at any time.
Therefore, Yelena loves Fanny.
She would also take a bullet for her friend Sonya, who for all her shortcomings—mostly in the form of relentlessly annoying Yelena about her “self-imposed” singleness—and her incessant need to share overly detailed stories about her own sex life, is probably the reason Yelena remembers not to take herself so seriously.
Sonya’s also the reason she hasn’t fallen into a pit of grief and despair on a daily basis. Mostly because the other widow insists on regularly dragging her out to go shopping, or to a brunch with bottomless mimosas, or to see the latest movies (Yelena admits Barbie was good), or to a club to dance in a way they were never allowed to for most of their lives. Sonya is fun and reminds Yelena constantly that she is too. So yes, Yelena would take a bullet for her.
Therefore, Yelena loves Sonya.
Natasha needs no explanation. Had she been there, had she had the chance, had she’d just existed at all anywhere at the time, Yelena would’ve taken the bullet for her sister.
Therefore, Yelena loved Natasha. Loves.
Her parents are a much greyer, and much more complicated story. Melina is probably the only person in the world that can relate to Yelena’s pain entirely, being a widow who’s also loved and lost Natasha. However, she’s also the person that caused Yelena’s loss of freedom. And for all the nostalgic comfort she brings, she’ll also always bring decades of pain.
Alexei supports Yelena blindly it seems, and constantly reassures her that he believes in her—no matter what she chooses to do. The downside of that is that he’s no moral compass, and even when Yelena knows she’s done wrong and is in the wrong— he still roots for her to win.
So, a complex mother-daughter relationship and communication issues with her father. From what Yelena knows about regular people, this is not at all uncommon. Many people have similar issues with their own parents. And still, you’re supposed to love them right?
Yelena supposes she does. After all they both helped her and Natasha bring down the entire Red Room. And they continue to help her free remaining widows who are still under chemical subjugation.
And Melina always calls to check in on her, and worries when Yelena hasn’t contacted them in a while. She always tells Yelena she needs to eat more. And Alexei will send Yelena selfies of him and the pigs, and a detailed list of people he’s sure he could take in a fight. There’s a new name each week. These things, as silly and as small as they may be, make her smile and bring her comfort.
And she supposes that if they find themselves in the unlikely situation that one or both of them are being held at gun point, then she’d most likely stand between them and their assailant.
Therefore, somehow despite everything, Yelena loves her parents.
It’s easier to name who Yelena does not love and would not take a bullet for.
Valentina.
Bucky Barnes, even though she likes him best out of everyone on their odd Thunderbolts team.
Clint Barton. She’s not trying to actively kill him anymore but she wouldn’t try to actively save him either.
Anyone who has ever harassed or made a woman feel uncomfortable.
The president.
Carrie Bradshaw. (But let it be known that she would absolutely take a bullet for Samantha.)
People who insisted on talking very loudly on their phones as if they weren’t in public.
Social media influencers.
Nick Fury.
And John Mulaney. (His little boy schtick caused a very distinct fight or fight reaction in Yelena she can’t entirely explain.)
So no, Yelena wouldn’t take a bullet for any of these people. Yelena clearly does not love them.
That is easy.
That is simple.
What’s not easy and not even close to simple are her thoughts on Kate Bishop.
Where does she even begin with her?
She feels a deep conflict within herself, like she’s always itching to say more than she actually does. Something in her always wants to stay and talk to Kate, she wants nothing more than to put aside whatever her mission is and spend time with the archer, to get to know her and what makes her laugh and smile.
There are moments. There have been moments within the past two years where that almost seems possible. Where she almost does. One especially soft smile from Kate after a long time of not seeing her and Yelena feels compelled to stay.
But at the same time, something in her is very sharply, acutely against doing that. And so oftentimes, she’ll find herself at a standstill. Stuck between looking at Kate; fists clenched tightly, and wishing she could move in any direction either away from or towards her with assurance that it was the right move.
For years Yelena had never had the luxury of feeling conflicted, but ever since Kate Bishop has entered her life, it seems that’s all she feels.
Don’t get her wrong, she’s very familiar with conflict.
But not like this.
Not conflict like—
“What do you want Yelena?”
Whispered tiredly, into a warm summer night in goddamn California of all places. Her voice more rough and raw than usual from their previous argument.
Whispered so honestly, so desperately in that big empty beach house, it made Yelena stop her movements.
They were both tired. It had been a long day of fighting. They were both injured. Kate a little more than Yelena, but that was typical. Kate was a little more reckless and a lot less trained, and she always had a habit of acting first and thinking later, something Yelena was coming to both admire and hate.
The mission today ended in what was becoming typical Kate Bishop fashion. Yelena had found herself back against the wall, pinned down by four opponents. Which normally wouldn’t have been an issue, but her leg was aching after that super soldier crushed it in the door, and after drawing the attention of all the guards away from the loading docks.
Meanwhile Kate had been freeing the victims. Or so Yelena had thought.
Turns out Kate freed the victims and instead of leading them out of town with Peter Parker, she had turned back around into the warehouse.
For Yelena.
Which was not part of their plan.
(Two weeks ago when the unsaved number she knew by heart flashed on her screen, she knew answering would be opening a can of worms, as it is nearly every time. And yet she answered Kate’s call anyway. Something in her had to, couldn’t resist.
But she had made Kate promise to follow her every order. If she was going to help her with this, Kate had to follow what she said.
Kate had promised vigorously.
And yet the archer still turned back for her anyway.)
So yes, their mission ended chaotically, with nearly everything going wrong. Kate had tripped the alarm system, and nearly blown herself up in order to get Yelena out of there.
The archer had even tried to carry Yelena out of the building when she noticed the slight limp but Yelena glared at her until Kate returned her hands to herself.
They drove back with open wounds and aching muscles in silence.
Silence that quickly evaporated when they got back to the beach house. They tended to each other’s injuries, still not talking, it wasn’t until they were both properly cared for and safe, when Yelena finally let loose. One passive aggressive comment led to another and suddenly they were fighting.
Yelena couldn’t help it— the anger from today, from how reckless Kate could really be, bubbled up and she took it out on the other woman.
To her surprise Kate fought right back, matching Yelena’s ire and frustration with her own.
With everything Yelena threw at her, Kate had something else to throw back. Yelena would cite Kate’s inability to listen, Kate would bring up Yelena’s inconsideration for anyone else’s feedback. Yelena would say how impulsive Kate was and how dangerous that could be in the field and Kate would counter with how Yelena, despite being very capable, could not possibly do everything on her own.
It wasn’t exactly new frustration, as they have argued about this before. But there was something different about the way they fought tonight. Something more desperate.
Usually it was Kate who would concede, and throw up the white flag. Maybe Kate realized that they’d do this forever if one of them didn’t diffuse, and so she’d pivot the conversation to something lighter, she’d make a joke even, one that without fail would make Yelena crack at least a smile.
But this time, it was Kate’s final whispered question that halted everything.
In the darkness of the room, with only the sounds of distant waves hitting the shore, and moonlight streaming in from the windows, Yelena could feel her heartbeat as she looked at Kate’s scratched, pleading face.
What do you want Yelena?
And her mind whirled for an answer to the question. What did she want? So simple and so complicated of a thing.
And so she thought of how she determines love. And assessed everyone she’s ever known. And what she’d be willing to do for them. She thought of conflict.
Kate kept her eyes on her the entire time, not once looking away. Neither did Yelena.
And after a long moment, all she could think to say was—
“I’d take a bullet for you.”
Kate blinked at the words. Her brows drew together slightly.
It was a confession. One Kate would not know the weight of. One she couldn’t decipher or translate unless Yelena explained herself.
But instead of using words, Yelena stepped forward quickly, despite her protesting muscles, invading Kate’s space. Then, slowly, she placed a delicate kiss on Kate’s cheek, right next to the upward gash marring her face.
She stayed for a moment, almost cheek to cheek with the archer. Her mind suddenly clear and for once, not at all riddled with conflict.
Like a storm clearing out.
“I’d take every pain for you,” she whispered with her eyes closed, allowing herself to feel the honestly in the words.
She heard Kate inhale sharply.
It was the only confession of love Yelena was capable of giving. Unfortunately, she didn’t know if she’d ever have more to give.
And so Yelena backed away, allowing her eyes to open and watch as Kate’s eyes fluttered open as well.
She granted herself two beats more to take Kate in, to relish in the blue of Kate’s eyes, to wonder how it was that this woman could be injured and beat up beyond comprehension but still look magnificent, to let herself for a moment believe that she could have her. And that maybe Kate could return her feelings.
But then she backed away, for good this time, and without thinking too hard about it, she made her way towards the door, into her car, and left.
Because yes, Yelena realized she would take a bullet for Kate Bishop. She’d take on an army.
Therefore, Yelena is in love with Kate Bishop.
But the one thing she didn’t count on, had never considered before today, was that Kate would never allow her the chance to take that bullet.
What the hell was Yelena to do with that?