Chapter Text
Lila sat down behind the desk in her quarters and grabbed her travel diary from the drawer.
She needed to make lists of things. Lists kept her mind off her wandering thoughts and it became an essential part of her routine.
She scorned the idea in the beginning. She confided too much in her ability to remember anything that she believed important to her survival that she considered writing on a diary a waste of paper and ink.
One night, however, managed to change her perspective.
She abruptly woke up from her slumber to Kell calling her name in his sleep, his fist clenched tight on the pillow. Kell couldn’t recollect what had roused him from sleep and Lila thought he might had been dreaming about his broken magic.
It was then that the idea of the diary crossed her mind.
She began writing notes about places they still hadn’t visited and that she wanted to see. Places where she hoped to find something or someone who could help him.
Before long, she got addicted to making lists of food, beverages and other stuff they may need for the voyage. She also began recounting bits from their days on the ship, but she kept her intimate thoughts and events to herself.
“Kell,” she looked up from her diary to glance at him. He sat on the chair by the fireplace. “Do we need something?”
“For the ship?” he asked. “We are short on eggs and cheese.”
“Right,” she wrote it down, sighing. Better. “Can’t live without that.”
“There may be more,” he said. “Want to check the hold?”
“Not now,” she put the diary back in the drawer of the desk. “Tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he nodded.
She stood up and went to lie down on the bed, suddenly more light but also more weary. Her eyes threatened to close as soon as she put her cheek on the pillow, and the last thing she remembered was Kell settling next to her.
Lila stirred on the cot. Her feet seemed weightless, as if Morpheus had given her wings, but maybe she got lost in the land of sleep. At the same time, a sense of heaviness sat in her chest and she couldn’t explain it. She thought she had let it go with her lists, but maybe she didn’t.
Too bad you couldn’t use magic for such things.
In the grey zone between sleep and consciousness, some images appeared in her mind.
A blue and white kitchen. A faceless woman who touched her bare feet in what looked like a blessing. A sense of dread when she told her she wasn’t okay.
She opened her eyes and looked down at her feet with a confused frown.
“Kell,” she whispered sleepily. “What are you doing?”
“Massaging your feet,” he replied gently. “You asked me to.”
“Did I? I can’t –” she sighed, blinking. “I can’t remember.”
“Should I stop?”
“No,” she assured him. “No. I like it.”
She rubbed her eyes while Kell rubbed his fingers all over her toes. It was still dark outside. She believed that maybe only a few minutes had passed after she had closed her eyes, and sleep had barely grazed her.
She wasn’t sure for how long he had been doing it, but it felt so delightful that she didn’t care.
Kell started kissing her feet, and she heaved a deep sigh of appreciation. He knew how to put his mouth to good use and he knew what his lips did to her. She put her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes, relaxing after an exhausting day, the bits of her dreams slowly fading from her short term memory.
Once she feel sated, Kell started using his hands to tickle her. Lila wasn’t a big fan of being tickled but she liked to play, and she tickled him back. They ended up a mess of limbs and hands and laughs and smiles on the bed. It made her happy.
“Do you need something else?” he wondered softly.
Kell’s question took her aback. Had she told him she needed a massage or to lift up her mood?
She hated not remembering but she loved how he tried to make her smile.
She shook her head and pressed her lips briefly over his.
She fell asleep tucked in his arms and had a dreamless night.
She had everything she needed.