Chapter Text
Hello, Hinata.
You gave me this notebook and told me to write down my thoughts in it, and you claimed it would have therapeutic value for me but the truth is I think that you were simply tired of hearing me talk. I asked you how this was supposed to help and if this meant you would no longer listen to my grievances and you promised to read it whenever I asked so I will keep you to your word. In fact, I think I will fill it with all of my thoughts, especially the ones that make you grit your teeth whenever I express them. By the way, Hinata, there is a mirror on the wall of my room, and I saw you roll your eyes in it earlier after you turned away from me. I thought you should know, so that next time you can save yourself the trouble and just do it to my face.
I don’t know why you bothered opening my window this morning when it’s such a gloomy day. I think we are approaching monsoon season. Perhaps you are hoping that I catch my death in the rain and then you won’t have to bother with me anymore? In the program, all the days were sunshine, except for that first day when Monokuma arrived and the clouds turned gray. I was standing in the water with our classmates when that dark ocean began to churn against us, and you watched us from the sandy shoreline. Your eyes were wide and you kept biting at your lips, hands clutching at the edge of your shirt while you shuffled there awkwardly. I’m sure that you knew even then that you did not belong among the Ultimates. You were nervous and anxious and you clung to me like a child in the beginning. Hey, Hinata, who do you think you’re fooling? The so-called “survivors” of our simulated Killing Game all look at you like you are some sort of god come down to earth, but I remember the truth of you. You are nothing more than a coward. You woke up on the beach after fainting and looked up at me and your eyes were green and bright with fear and there were specks of gold glittering in them under the sunlight. How dare you roll them at me now?
I’m sure you’ll come visit me again this evening with a tray from the kitchens in another futile attempt to get me to eat solid foods. Once again, I’ll refuse. You’ll have to hold me down and chew the food up yourself and force it into my mouth with your tongue if you want me to eat so badly, and even then please rest assured that I will spit it back out into your face. I know you won’t do that, though, because it might ruin your sense of sanctimony. Instead of eating, I think I will have you read what I’ve written today. You promised and so you’ll comply, and I’ll watch while you skim over this page with feigned interest. You’ll have that placid little smile on your face the whole time, because you think it makes you look understanding and kind, but it doesn’t. It makes you look smug and arrogant, and you can pretend all you want but turning up the corners of your mouth does not make a smile and it will not make you human again, Hinata, you monster.