Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Travel has never been easy for Cloud, and it’s rather unfortunate that he didn’t know the extent of his motion sickness until after he left for Midgar. Papers already sent and officially enlisted in Shinra’s military, there was no turning back. 

Not that he would even have entertained the idea of not enlisting, his dream of becoming SOLDIER was and still is bigger than any possible discomfort or nausea. 

Those dreams have been all but squashed by now. He failed the SOLDIER test. Got disqualified from even trying again for an entire year. They told him it was something about poor mako resistance levels, or a sensitivity to mako, something like that. The scientists told him it’s possible he’ll grow a tolerance as he gets older, which is why they’re requiring him to wait a year to apply again. He doesn’t understand any of the science mumbo jumbo, though, all he could hear was “too weak” and “now you’ll never be good enough”. 

He’s stuck in Shinra, too, now. He was too embarrassed to turn back and return to Nibelheim after failing so spectacularly and so quickly. So, he joined the infantry hoping he could work his way up the ladder. He can apply for SOLDIER again, and even if he doesn’t make it in, he can possibly be something like a captain. Not quite the prestige of SOLDIER, but better than a nameless, nobody grunt. 

Today Cloud is on assignment in Junon. Sent in on a rescue mission. His job is to secure any civilians while a SOLDIER operative and the turks handle the securing of the target. They always get the fun jobs while security is stuck with boring stuff like search and rescue or, well, security detail. 

At this exact moment, Cloud is bracing against the wall of the tunnel leading from the Junon airport. He’s just descended the elevator leading them from the helipad and he’s recovering from the helicopter ride here. One hand planted on the wall, the other covering his eyes with his head hanging towards the ground, Cloud is not having a good time.

Motion sickness wrecks his stomach and head, his temples are pounding and his stomach is roiling. He’s trying to remind himself to take deep breaths, deep breaths, Cloud, deep breaths. One two three, in, four five six, out. Just like his mother taught him. 

Eventually, the world stops tilting to funny angles and spinning around him, but even the thought of actually moving still makes him feel like he’s going to hurl. 

He can hear what’s going on around him, and focusing on anything but how sick he feels is helping. That’s how he notices when the SOLDIER operative walks into the tunnel. The SOLDIER starts conversing with the turks, confirming the mission and planning their next move. The planning is obviously mostly done by the turks, they’re more than used to planning, SOLDIER are just here for muscle.

The SOLDIER’s voice is frighteningly familiar. If Cloud wasn’t so focused on not throwing up he might take a moment to think about why that is. Figure out which SOLDIER was sent in. Despite not being in SOLDIER himself, Cloud knows a couple of them. He’s worked with several third classes and a handful of seconds, and would probably be able to pick a few of them out of a lineup. 

Maybe they did send a second, this seems like the type of mission for them to do that on. A few thirds are already in the tunnel, too, sent to help with search and rescue. It probably wouldn’t make sense to have a separate third for dealing with the target, so a second class is most likely. There’s no way they sent a first, there are only two of those left, Sephiroth and—

“Hey buddy, are you okay?” it’s the SOLDIER operative, and oh god they actually sent him. They didn’t send a few thirds or some random second. 

Cloud looks up and sees a face he’s been trying hard not to think about the last few months. Black spiked back hair, tan skin, violet eyes, chiseled jaw, and oh gods he needs to answer the question, “‘M fine.” 

Just Cloud’s luck that they wouldn't send any random second. Wouldn’t send some guy Cloud’s never met. No, of course they had to send in SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair. Cloud hadn’t even seen him around the tower in ages, he’d assumed he was safe, he thought he wouldn’t have to think about Zack’s perfectly boyish smile or the captivating scar on his jaw or the way he treats Cloud like he can actually amount to anything. 

They haven’t even spoken since that mission in Modeoheim, not an actual conversation, that is. 

Zack gave a speech to a bunch of cadets and slapped him on the shoulder like the whole speech was meant for him specifically. And he’s spoken to Cloud in the halls, sort of, just simple smiles and passing words, small encouragements like, “Keep your chin up!” Things he probably tells any cadet he happens to run into. 

It seems Zack Fair’s mandatory vacation has ended, and with it ended Cloud’s luck. His first mission back just so happens to be the one Cloud’s been sent on. Now he has to stick through an entire conversation with First Class Zack while pretending he’s not about to toss up his breakfast. 

Cloud’s, quite obviously, had a horrifically embarrassing crush on Zack since they met. Despite them having only had one full conversation, Cloud feels nauseous in an entirely different way any time he’s around Zack. Something completely different from his motion sickness. 

It’s just that Zack’s so… charismatic. So everything Cloud’s ever wanted to be. He’s more than what Cloud’s ever wanted, honestly. Maybe Cloud’s just got pathetically low standards, because something about Zack seeing Cloud as more than an absolute failure has him wanting to grab him by the neck and smash their faces together. 

So, Cloud has the planet’s most humiliating crush on a guy who doesn’t even really know he exists. The extent of their relationship being Cloud sneaking glances at Zack whenever he’s on guard duty in the Shinra building and Zack happens to wander into the area.  

Zack looks at him, concern plain on his face, brows drawn in and corners of his lips downturned the slightest bit. Then his face breaks into a wide smile, brows shooting up, and he steps back, “Cloud! Is that you?” 

He was absolutely sure just seconds ago that Zack had forgotten he’d even existed after their one mission together. He wouldn’t blame Zack for it either, a lot happened that day and Cloud is, honestly, entirely forgettable. Just another infantryman out of the dozens Zack’s been on missions with. Cloud’s own brows shoot up now, “You remember me?”

Zack laughs and claps Cloud on the back, it’s friendly but Zack must not realize just how strong SOLDIERs are, or how weak Cloud is, he has to brace harder against the wall to prevent himself from falling forward, “Of course I remember! Wow, I’m glad to be working with you again!” 

“Yeah, me too,” Cloud agrees, “Though, my work is a little dull.”

“Hey!” Zack shouts, the increase in volume almost enough to make Cloud jump, “Don’t say that! Rescue work is just as important as the work I do!” Zack steps back, he must not have really looked at him earlier, over-excited about the mission and concerned for Cloud’s well-being. Zack finally looks at Cloud, takes in the sight of him, and then speaks again, “How about, after this, you and me go out and get something to eat? While we’re both here in Junon, my treat!”

Lunch with a first? With the guy Cloud’s been daydreaming about for months? He must be dreaming or hallucinating now . His luck has never been anything more than awful before. Is this something Zack does a lot? Invite random infantrymen to lunch, is it just a friendly hang out? Could it possibly be a bit more than that? He has no idea. The train of thought is making his head spin and stomach lurch. 

Or maybe that’s just the lingering motion sickness. 

Cloud smiles weakly, “That sounds really nice, Zack, but,” the contents of Cloud’s stomach make themselves known to him again at this exact moment. Bile tickles the back of his throat, he groans weakly, “I don’t know if I can even think about food right now.”

Zack winces then smiles sympathetically, offering Cloud a gentle pat on the back, “Of course, whenever you’re feeling better, after I capture Holla— the target, alright?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Cloud agrees, then sighs, “Must be nice to be SOLDIER.”

“It is pretty great,” Zack winks, “You wanna be SOLDIER?”

Cloud’s lips pull into a flat, jealous line, “More than anything. I wish I could be more like you.” 

“Like me?” Zack cocks his head to the side. 

“Yeah, you’re so… strong, and confident,” Cloud shakes his head, “and you’re—” kind, and attractive, and probably the only person besides my mom who’s ever thought I was more than an abject failure, “a SOLDIER.”

Zack smiles, teeth crooked in a way Cloud thinks is just perfect on display and eyes wrinkling on the sides, he’s sure to have crow’s feet by the time he’s 30, “You’ll be one, too, one day! Just gotta keep up the hard work, focus on your dreams!” 

Cloud nods, his nausea all but gone now. He stands up off the wall, he feels well enough for lunch now. He prepares to tell Zack this, say something along the lines of hey I feel better now, so how about that date later?  Something bold and utterly un-Cloud-like. 

He opens his mouth to say it, then shuts it again, coward.

Zack was probably just being friendly. Or maybe he wasn’t, there’s only one way to know. Cloud takes a deep breath and opens his mouth again, desperate to say anything, he gets out a simple “Hey,” before he’s interrupted. The black-haired turk, the one who had been on the mission with them in Modeoheim, cuts him off. Tells Zack to get a move on, that he doesn’t have all day.

Zack walks backward away from Cloud and shoots him a charming smile before he runs off in the direction of the airport. Cloud feels himself deflate but tries not to let it get to him. He’s sure he and Zack will have another chance to talk, another chance for Cloud to tell Zack about his own dreams and what SOLDIER means to him. Maybe another chance to ask if that really was an invite to a date or just a friendly hangout.  

Chapter Text

After meeting again in Junon, Cloud and Zack are nearly inseparable, having become fast friends following their second mission together. Cloud would even call Zack his best friend, though he’s not so sure if Zack would return the sentiment. Zack has a lot of friends, Cloud’s sure Zack would consider someone else his best friend, like Kunsel or another fellow SOLDIER. That fact doesn’t hurt Cloud’s feelings, though, he’s more than grateful for what he does have.

Cloud’s crush on Zack hasn’t gone away, either. Quite frankly, it’s gotten stronger and keeps getting stronger the more time he spends with Zack. 

On the outside Zack Fair seems like an attractive, cheerful, funny guy, but after getting to know him Cloud quickly realized he is all that and much more. He cares about the people around him greatly, and as vacuous as he acts, he is intelligent when it comes to things he actually has his heart in. And when he puts his heart in something he puts his whole heart in it. Zack does not half-ass things. Cloud admires Zack’s tenacity in all things and fears his feelings for him may grow stronger than a simple teenage crush any day now. 

His feelings grow every time Zack opens up to Cloud, and tells Cloud about how he feels suffocated sometimes like everyone is always forcing things on him he isn’t sure he can handle, things he doesn’t want. 

They grow when Zack invites him over just to play games after one of Cloud’s missions, because he always seems to know exactly when Cloud’s gotten back on base after a mission outside of Midgar. And he always knows that Cloud will need a distraction so he doesn’t hurl all over the place. 

They grow when he thinks about the way Zack goes out of his way to make sure Cloud is included in every conversation when they’re in a group of people, always asking Cloud what he thinks about something, or bringing up something he knows Cloud will want to talk about, too, just to get him speaking. 

And as strong as his crush grows, he’s fine if that’s all it ever is. Zack is so amazing, Cloud would dare to say he’s perfect, honestly. But even so, Cloud would rather live with a crush that drives him silly and makes him act like a fool around Zack for the rest of his life, rather than lose Zack from his life entirely. 

Today’s another day of Cloud and Zack hanging out. They’re both currently sitting on Zack’s couch watching a movie. Well, Zack’s watching a movie and Cloud is thinking about how much he likes Zack and staring at his side profile. Trying to covertly memorize the slope of his nose and the angle of his jaw, it’s almost exactly 100º to Cloud’s estimate, though he doesn’t have a protractor on hand. 

Lately, Zack’s been training Cloud on swordwork, helping him improve. According to some of Cloud’s superiors, he has a natural talent for sword fighting. They discovered this natural talent when he was forced to use a sword during a now failed mission to protect some scientists. They told him he was better with a sword than most cadets, better than some third class SOLDIERs, even. And Cloud, filled with pride, told Zack about the praise as soon as he saw him again. Zack immediately offered to train Cloud, saying it was preparing him for SOLDIER when he gets in. 

Cloud doesn’t mind, he loves spending time with Zack. Plus, he was told the infantry is actually looking into making a sword division, and he’ll be considered for it when they start recruiting. It’s not SOLDIER, but still pretty cool, in Cloud’s opinion. A good backup, if anything. 

That’s what led them back here, to Zack’s place. They’ve just finished training for the day and are relaxing and recuperating. Zack could probably keep fighting for several more hours, but Cloud is unenhanced, leading him to his current state of incredibly tired and sore.

Zack invited him over to shower and rest while they watch the newest installment in a popular action movie franchise. The protagonist is very obviously based on Sephiroth, just with long, blond hair instead of silver, because that would be too obvious. 

There’s a huge bowl of popcorn between them, drenched in salt and butter. Zack says the salt’s good for recovery, Cloud’s skeptical but he’s not one to doubt anything Zack says. 

He’s focused way too intensely on Zack’s side profile at the moment, he watches him take a sip of a drink, the way his bottom lip curves around the edge of the can. He sees Zack swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing as the drink goes down. Zack licks his lips, cleaning them of the sugary residue left there. Cloud flushes deeply and bites down hard on his bottom lip, then turns away, reaching for the bowl of popcorn for something to distract himself from the way that made his stomach twist.

Unfortunately, Zack chooses that exact moment to blindly reach for a handful of popcorn, too. Cloud feels Zack’s fingers brush his and jerks his hand away like he’s been burnt, way too fast to be considered casual or normal.

Cloud looks over at Zack to see if he noticed. He clearly did, because he turns to look at Cloud and raises a brow, “Are you alright? I don’t bite, you know?” Zack smirks, “Well, not usually.”

Cloud turns away again, tomato red down to his chest and up to his ears. What does that mean? Why did he make that face when he said it? Was he flirting? No, he couldn’t have actually been smirking, definitely wasn’t flirting. Zack wouldn’t do that, not toward Cloud, that is. Never in a million years.

“Sorry,” Cloud mumbles. “Just surprised me, that's all, I was really… um, focused. On the movie.”

“Yeah, this movie is pretty neat. I think we’re almost at the big conflict where they finally confront the villain again, super captivating, huh?” 

Cloud thinks about the way Zack’s neck arched when he titled the can back to his mouth, the muscles of it strained enough to put them on display, “Yeah… something like that.” 

Zack gives him a weird look, raises his brows, like something about Cloud’s voice or face looks strange, or like Cloud said something odd. When Cloud doesn’t say anything else he simply turns back to the movie.

They continue to watch the movie. Zack pays close attention to every scene, eyes tracking every movement on screen. Cloud barely sees anything in the movie, instead he looks at how Zack’s shoulders and biceps look in his sleeveless sweater without his pauldrons on and daydreams about the veins on his forearm. All while trying to ignore how Zack seems to subconsciously be slowly getting closer to him, their shoulders and thighs beginning to graze each other at this point. 

“Did you see that? Holy cow, I bet I could do a move like that, what do you think?” Zack asks, turning to Cloud and swinging his arms in a large arc, like he’s mimicking the move he just saw on screen, to get Cloud’s thoughts on whatever sword move the main hero just did.

Cloud’s not sure what exactly just happened, another battle, the bad guys pontificating about the woes of the world, something about some object being rightfully theirs, their birthright, or whatever. He most certainly did not see what Zack’s talking about, but Zack could do anything, probably, “Mm I don’t think so,” Cloud says instead, teasing Zack in hopes of hiding his true feelings.

Zack gasps dramatically, “Dude, come on! I totally could!” he nudges Cloud’s side, “I bet you think Sephiroth could do it.” 

Cloud flushes, then elbows Zack hard in the side, “Shut up.”

“ Whaat ,” Zack stretches out the a in the word, “Come on, man,” he laughs, “I mean, with your little crush on him. I’ve noticed it, I bet you’d love to see him do something like that,” Zack clicks his tongue, “He’d probably do it, too. Such a show-off.”

Cloud stares dumbly at Zack, “What?”

“I don’t mind, dude. I mean obviously I don’t care if you like gu—”

“That’s not—,” Cloud rushes to cut Zack off, waves his hands in front of him as if to swat away the sentence about to leave Zack’s mouth, “I mean, I do not have a crush on Sephiroth, no way, never. Why would you even think that?” he rubs his temples, “I thought he looked cool when I was 12, that’s literally it.” 

Zack looks skeptical, “Sure you don’t…”

“I seriously don't. Like absolutely not. He is not my type. At. All.” 

“Oh? What is your type then?” Zack leans further into Cloud’s space, his nose only inches from Cloud’s own.

“Um, well,” Cloud leans back an inch, sinks into the plush of the couch, needing the space to breathe. He’s dug a bit of a hole here, he has to come up with something now, and something that doesn’t give the game away, at that. 

He thinks about a pretty girl back in Nibelheim, thinks about the handsome boy beside him, there are some similarities. He can just stretch the truth a little, right? 

“I prefer… someone nice? With dark hair?” He can’t think of anything else, he’s way too overwhelmed, Zack is too close, his knee knocks into Cloud’s every few seconds. 

“That’s it? Really? That’s as far as your preference goes? Not even, like, guys? Girls? What about, I don’t know, blue eyes? Taller? Older? Anything?” 

“I mean, I haven’t really thought about it. I just know what I like when I see it.”

“When you see it, huh? So you got your eye on someone now, then?” 

Cloud swallows. He wants to be honest, say yes, you, I like you, so much. I like the way your face lights up when you talk about things you care about. I like that you’re taller than me, that you’re older than me, I love the way you smile and your humor. I like that you’re always looking out for me. I like that you always try to make me laugh and I could see myself with you for a long, long time. 

He begins to speak, “Well, I, uh—”

RIING 

He’s cut off by the sound of Zack’s PHS going off with a phone call. Zack leans back from where he’d been leaning towards Cloud with a gentle, annoyed huff, and grabs his PHS out of his pocket. He apologizes to Cloud and then answers it without checking the caller ID, “First Class Zack speaking.”

He waits a moment then smiles a bit, “Oh, hey Aerith! What’s up?”

Cloud sulks, melts into the cushions and, if you ask him, definitely does not pout. That’s right, of course. The girlfriend, how could he forget? Gods, what was he thinking? 

Chapter Text

The Nibelheim Inn is not a place Cloud was ever super familiar with. Having grown up here he never had a reason to pay much attention to it, no one ever came all the way to Nibelheim to visit him or his mom. No one visited him or his mom at all, for that matter. So, the inn’s interior is just as new to him as it is for every other member of Shinra here right now. 

He's become increasingly familiar with the interior of the inn since arriving here on a mission to check on the reactor. All of his downtime during the mission has been spent in this room in the inn. He’s probably more familiar with his rented room than the owners themselves are. 

Staying locked in the inn is the only way he can effectively avoid the people of town when not on patrol. He really can’t just go around in his helmet all the time, and the chances of being recognized without it are too high. 

He told everyone here that when he came back he’d be a SOLDIER, a hero, like Sephiroth, but he’s not even close to anything like that. Still too weak, too pathetic. It’s embarrassing, and he definitely can’t handle the humiliation of anyone seeing him, especially not Tifa. 

Though any romantic feelings he had for her are entirely in the past, it still makes his face burn with shame to think about approaching her. He had made a promise to her specifically. She must be expecting something of him. And she was the only kid to ever be even sort-of nice to him. He can’t just go up to her and show her that all the other kids were actually right about him the whole time. That she had been wasting her time being nice to him at all. 

Cloud sits on the edge of his bed in the inn, his daily patrol having ended a little while ago. He scuffs the toe of his boot on the ground, nervous and waiting. 

Sephiroth locked himself in the basement of Shinra Manor days ago and hasn’t been seen since. Zack’s been checking on him every so often, and that’s where he is now. Cloud can tell Sephiroth’s strange behavior is getting to Zack, despite how cheerful he's been acting around the people of the town. Trying to quell their worries about Shinra sticking around for so long for what should be a routine inspection and some quick monster clean-up.

On the way back down Mt. Nibel, after Zack and Sephiroth had exited the reactor, both looking visibly agitated, Cloud got injured. He’d jumped in front of a fiend that was headed towards Tifa. She was fine, but by the time they’d made it to the village again, Cloud was barely able to move anymore. He’d somehow ended up back in his room in the inn, and passed out.

Once he woke up, he learned that Sephiroth had locked himself  up in the manor, and that’s when Zack started acting strange. 

He seemed frustrated, conversing with Cloud for a few minutes before becoming almost erratic. Nearly slicing his bed in their shared room in half. He ranted about SOLDIER being monsters and about Cloud needing to stay away, despite him having encouraged Cloud to keep trying for SOLDIER in the past. Cloud can’t even begin to guess what had happened in the reactor that could have caused that. 

It’s not often Zack lets his frustrations get the best of him. It's almost never that he seems so… hopeless. 

At some point in their conversation, Zack had calmed again and passed out right on his bed within seconds of lying down. Cloud, anxious about being back in the town that scorned both him and his mother, never actually laid down for the night. Instead, he fell asleep sitting, hunched over, on the edge of his bed. 

When Cloud finally woke up, Zack was already gone for the day. He sent Zack a mail shortly after waking up, asking Zack if he’d want to come meet his mom and have dinner with the two of them.

Looking back, Cloud doesn’t know how he managed to bring himself to hit send on that message. There’s no way he’d ever have been able to ask Zack to his face, but maybe that would have been less shameful. 

How pathetic is it for him to be too scared to face his own mother? To have to ask his friend to provide support? Cloud was shocked Zack hadn’t just ignored the mail, even more shocked when he had actually agreed to the dinner. 

It’s not like Cloud’s mom is mean or scary. She’s kind and thoughtful, tough as nails when she needs to be, but always, always caring and compassionate when it comes to her son. It’s just… embarrassing to need support from a friend to do something that should be so simple. 

He told his mom he’d be a SOLDIER, told her he’d come back as someone, but here he is, two whole years later, and he’s nothing more than a disposable grunt, a nobody. He’s barely even written to her in that time, she doesn’t even know he failed the SOLDIER intake exam. 

Most likely, if Zack’s there she’ll be distracted, Zack can’t stand the quiet, and Cloud’s mom is always making sure her guests, when she does get some, are comfortable and entertained. So she won’t even have time to think about how disappointed she is in Cloud for failing.

Just as Cloud contemplates canceling the whole plan and sending Zack a mail before he gets back telling him he actually doesn’t feel well, they don’t have to go see his mom, that she’ll be okay, Zack walks in through the door. Cloud looks up at him and smiles, strained. Zack doesn’t notice the look on his face, or just chooses not to say anything about it.

Zack stands in the doorway, one hand on the frame, watching Cloud, “So, you ready to head out and see your mom?”

Cloud fiddles with one of the straps on his uniform, then nods, “Yeah, let’s go.” 

Cloud, reluctantly, slides off the bed, grabs his helmet, and walks towards Zack, staring at the floor the whole time. As he approaches, Zack grabs him by the shoulder and cocks his head, “You’re bringing that thing with you?” He points at the helmet in Cloud’s hand. 

“Yeah, I…” Cloud pulls on the cuff of his sleeve for a moment, “I’d rather not run into anyone on the way there.”

“Hm,” Zack hums, “Okay, weirdo. You’d look better without it, though.” 

Cloud tries to smile, good-natured fun and all that, but the smile feels weak, it doesn't reach his eyes. The harmless names and teasing Zack usually instigates feel a bit too personal when he’s back home like this. Reminds him of the kids that he lived near, the boys Tifa used to be friends with.

They turn out the door and descend the stairs of the inn, Cloud shoving his head into the helmet as they reach the bottom steps, avoiding even the owners of the inn’s curious looks. They walk to his house, side-by-side, in relative silence, Cloud too nervous to talk, for fear that someone may recognize his voice, and Zack seemingly content to let Cloud have a bit of quiet before they see his mom. 

Cloud just barely notices the draw of Zack’s shoulders. Hunched slightly like he’s wound up, anxious. Sephiroth’s bizarre behavior must be getting to him. Another plausible cause of his current uncharacteristic silence. 

The center of Nibelheim is incredibly small, his childhood home just a few buildings away from the inn. They arrive on the doorstep within minutes. There, Cloud stands right in front of the door, staring at the wood grain. 

Zack stands to the side, giving Cloud space to greet his mom. When Cloud glances over at him, Zack gives a small, encouraging smile. 

Cloud pauses and takes a deep breath before he knocks on the door, then he looks around the town center to ensure no one is nearby. He slides his helmet off his head. The door opens as he clutches it to his side. 

“Hello?” A soft, feminine voice calls, a spiky blonde head of hair, almost identical to Cloud’s own, just longer in the back, a shade paler, and a bit more tamed in its ponytail, appears in the small crack between the door and frame. Cloud smiles and the woman gasps, pulling the door the rest of the way open, “Cloud? Is that you, my baby bird?”

Cloud swallows the lump forming in his throat, “Hi, Mama.” His eyes sting. It’s been too long. 

His mom was his best friend growing up, as pathetic as that sounds. No one else in the village liked either one of them, especially after what happened on Mt. Nibel with Tifa when they were kids. His mom’s always been kinder to him than any other villager ever bothered to be. She knew just as well as he did what it was like to be an outcast, her being a single mother of the quiet, weird, lonely kid. 

He misses the nights they spent playing card games and drinking chamomile tea. Misses when she’d wrap him up in blankets and spoon salty, rich soup into his mouth when he didn’t feel well. He misses the care she’d put into cleaning the cuts and scrapes he got when the other kids pushed him or when he got too excited while exploring the mountain trail and stumbled into the brambles.

Cloud rubs the heel of his hand against his eye, sniffs, he will not cry, he won’t, “Ma, this is Zack, by the way. He’s um,” Cloud flicks his eyes over at Zack, “My best friend. We’re both here on a mission together so I thought it could be nice if you, you know, met him.” 

Cloud cheeks burn in embarrassment, this is stupid. 

When he looks at Zack’s face a moment later he sees Zack is giving Cloud’s mom his most charming smile, he wipes a hand on his pants then extends it for Cloud’s mom, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Strife!”

Cloud’s mom chuckles, “Please, just call me Claudia,” she shakes Zack’s hand, a warm, affectionate smile gracing her face. “Well, why don’t you two come in?” She turns and motions them inside, leaving the door open for them. Cloud follows immediately, Zack not far behind. 

Zack closes the door behind himself as Claudia turns to look at them again, she gives them both a once over, “So, that’s what they’ve got you wearing,” her eyes land on Zack, “A SOLDIER, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Zack nods.

Claudia approaches Cloud, pulls an invisible piece of lint off his scarf, already doting on him just seconds into their visit, “What uniform is this one, then?”

Cloud’s face burns again, shame making his cheeks hot. “Uh, it’s just the, um, regular infantry one…” Plan failed, Zack did not distract her at all, she zeroed in on the uniform instantly. He should’ve known she would, it was dumb to try to avoid the subject, he’s wearing the uniform for gods’ sake “Sorry I’m not SOLDIER, I know I said I would—”

“Oh hush, none of that now. I’m more proud of you than you could ever know, chickadee. I’m just glad you’re making friends out there in the big city,” she leans in close and wraps him in a tight hug, Cloud hesitates for just a second before wrapping his arms around her, too. She leans towards his ear and mumbles, “Gods know you could use someone to look out for you.” 

“Are… Are you sure?” he asks, because how could she not be ashamed? Just look at him. A completely average security officer, one of the shortest, scrawniest ones, too, at that.  

She huffs a laugh, “Of course I am! Don’t be silly!” She backs out of the hug, pushes back his bangs and kisses his forehead, then smiles at him. Cloud wants to be embarrassed that she’d do something like that in front of Zack , but he’s missed her too much to care, so he smiles back at her instead. 

“Well, I was just about to start dinner, but it looks like I’ll be needing to make some extra tonight, is that right?”

Cloud nods his head, looks over at Zack, who’s standing off to the side to give them space, a small, fond smile of his own on his face, and he nods, too. 

“Well, you two make yourself comfortable while I get started, then,” she gestures to their living room. Cloud sets his helmet on the floor and sits down, Zack sits beside him. Cloud would offer to help his mom, but leaving Zack completely alone in his childhood home just feels like a bad idea. There are too many embarrassing photos of him around to risk it. 

“So Cloud,” Claudia begins speaking from the kitchen, “You’ve grown up to be quite the young man. You must have girls hounding you day and night.”

Zack elbows him in the side, failing to fully bite back a laugh. Cloud groans, “Not really.”

“Oh? Well, you know, there’s all kinds of temptations in the big city. I’d feel a lot better if you found someone to keep you out of trouble,” Oh heavens, not this again. Zack covers his mouth, trying his best not to laugh. 

At least he’s trying, for Cloud’s sake.

“I can take care of myself, Ma.”

Claudia walks out of the kitchen, wiping her hand on a dish towel as she does. Zack lowers his hand and schools his face back to a friendly smile. Claudia looks at them, “Someone… Older, more mature,” her eyes flick between the two of them. 

“Someone who can keep you on the straight and narrow. And tell you when you’re being a silly goose,” she looks Cloud right in the eye and smiles, “That’s the perfect type for you, I’d say.” 

Cloud rubs his hands over his burning face, “Jeez, Ma. I really don’t want to have this conversation right now.” In all his worrying he did not account for his mom trying to have this conversation in front of Zack. The thought never even crossed his mind. Of course she’d discuss what she thinks his perfect type is right in front of the one guy he wants more than anything. Telling him he needs someone older and more mature. This couldn’t be worse. 

“Well, dinner will be done soon, just needs to simmer for a while. I’m gonna go and fetch a few things to toss in real quick. You boys behave while I’m gone, alright?” 

They both nod and she turns out the door and leaves. 

The moment the door is shut Zack turns toward Cloud and jabs him in the side, “Someone older and more mature, huh? That your type?” 

Cloud swats his hand away, “Oh my gods, this was a mistake, I should’ve known she’d embarrass me in front of you.”

“Aw come on man,” Zack pouts, “You don’t mean that! I think this was a great idea!” 

Cloud rolls his eyes, smiling despite himself, “I’m not so sure.”

Zack bites back a smile, then laughs anyway, “You know who is older and more responsible?” 

Cloud barely keeps himself from reacting. Technically… Zack is older and more responsible, there is a lot of responsibility in being a SOLDIER, especially a first class. Surely he isn’t going to say himself, though, right? He wouldn’t. Unless he knows. Fuck , does he?  

“Who?” Cloud asks, just managing to keep his voice even. 

Zack grins like he’s about to make the funniest joke imaginable, “Tseng!” 

Cloud could kill him right now. He considers it, even, “You’re an ass. I’ve literally been on one mission with him, we didn’t even talk. I don’t even think I’ve seen him around HQ. Plus he’s like, a decade older than me.”

Zack rolls his eyes, “He’s not a decade older than you,” he pauses, furrows his brow, “Actually, he might be…”

“Either way,” Cloud shrugs. Zack looks over at Cloud, and there’s something about his face that’s tampering with Cloud’s common sense. Something about Zack sitting in Cloud’s childhood home talking to him. Something about Cloud’s mom having met him. Something about the way he’s smiling like an idiot right now. It feels like it’s taking away his reservations, his self-preservation.

“Hey, Zack,” he starts.

Zack cocks his head, noticing the slight change in tone, it makes Cloud want to grab him by the collar of his turtleneck top and pull him in then kiss him, “Yeah?”

He can’t take it anymore. He can’t hide it and pretend. He doesn’t care if Zack doesn’t return his feelings. He knows he doesn’t, how could he? But he has to tell him, get it off his chest. Surely Zack is cool enough to just reject him and still be his friend, he’s Zack . 

He can’t hide his heart from him anymore, “I just, um, I wanted you to know that I—”

The front door opens, and Claudia walks in with a small bundle of herbs from the garden. She looks at them and smiles, “Dinner will be ready in ten, just sit tight.”

“Of course, no rush Ma,” Cloud tells her, shrinking back slightly in his seat. 

Zack looks at him, “What were you saying?”

Cloud shakes his head, “It’s not important. Don’t worry about it, I’ll just tell you later.”

Zack gives him a skeptical look but moves on. The rest of their conversation is easy, just like always.

So what if Cloud didn’t get to tell him? There’s no rush, he will tell him later, they have all the time in the world. Sephiroth’s been in the manor for six days already, anyway, who knows how much longer it will be before he comes out and they can leave.

Chapter Text

There are noises everywhere. Unidentifiable ones. Cloud doesn’t know where he is or what any of the sounds are. He can’t figure out what the cold surface under his legs is. 

He knows Zack is in front of him. Zack just sat him here. 

But where exactly is here ?

Zack ruffles his hair roughly, jerks his head around, then stands and turns away from Cloud. Cloud reaches out for him, trying to get him to stay and help him. Tell him where here is. 

Zack walks away anyway. Cloud’s hand falls and he sees Midgar in the distance. 

Why are they near Midgar? When did they get here? When did they even leave Nibelheim? 

More noises start to fill his ears. He still can’t tell what they are, they sound so familiar. There are booms and clangs and pop pop pops. He can’t tell what’s causing all that racket. 

There are some noises he can identify, though, shouts and screams. He thinks he can hear Zack yelling. 

Cloud begs his mind to focus. What is all that noise? His body won’t cooperate, won’t listen to him, he’s stuck. It’s like he fell into a glue trap, or like he’s trying to tread molasses. 

He tries to scream, shout his frustrations out loud, but the noise won’t come out of him. Nothing but a puff of air leaves his mouth, like someone hit him in the gut and forced it from him. 

All he wants is for his body to react, to listen to him. It feels so wrong to have so little control over his own limbs. He strains, and his hearing is suddenly in full focus, no longer muffled like it has been for gods know how long.

The sounds make sense now, he recognizes them. Gunshots, grenades, swords clashing. Someone is shouting orders, someone screams in pain as they’re cut down. Zack is shouting as he charges into battle.

Zack.

Zack is shouting .

He needs to find Zack.

He needs to make sure Zack is okay.

Cloud wills his body to move, and for what feels like hours he pushes and pushes until finally he moves again. More than just a hand reaching or his fingers twitching. He falls forward and lands on his face. He moves his arms, drags them along the ground until his forearms are propping him up. Then he’s moving, dragging his lower body across the ground. 

The ground is gritty and wet, it’s muddy and slick. 

It’s raining in the wastes of Midgar. 

Cloud keeps crawling, it’s pouring down now. His clothes are soaked, his hair is falling in his eyes, his entire front side is covered in mud. 

The rain is all he can hear now, the noises are gone. The wastes are eerily quiet compared to just moments earlier.

That’s not right. Where’s Zack? Did he leave him behind?

No. He’s there, several yards in front of Cloud, on the ground. 

Oh gods, is he dead? Did they kill him? They couldn’t have, could they? Not Zack, he’s indestructible, he has to be. 

He pulls himself along the ground and gets to Zack’s side. He lifts himself until he can see Zack fully. He looks at Zack’s face, he’s alive, breathing.

Zack seems to detect him, opens his eyes with a start, inhales sharply, then notices it’s Cloud and relaxes and smiles at him.

It’s not Zack’s normal smile, nothing like his usual, warm smile. His usual smile makes Cloud feel light, makes him feel floaty, and ties his stomach in knots. This smile makes him feel like he’s floating, too, but outside of his body instead of on the clouds. It drops a stone into the pit of his stomach, he feels like he may drown in whatever this feeling is.

“Z-Zack?” he asks, his mouth is so dry, his tongue feels like it doesn’t belong in his mouth.

Zack’s eyes can barely even focus on him, they’re duller than normal, almost foggy. He’s dying, Cloud realizes. Zack is dying. There’s blood everywhere. It’s all over his body, on his hands, on his face. Did he get shot in the head?

Zack grunts, “For the… both of us.”

“Both of us?” Cloud parrots, what does that mean, what is he saying?

“That’s right,” Zack inhales a deep, shuddering breath, “You’re gonna…” 

“You’re gonna?” What is Cloud going to do? What does Zack want from him? He’ll do anything , anything at all for Zack.

Zack reaches out and grabs Cloud by the base of the skull and drags him forward. Cloud’s face hits Zack’s battered torso. 

“Live,” Zack breathes, that’s his plea, his last request. All he’s asking of Cloud is for him to live. Cloud’s not sure if he can. How can he go on without Zack? What is he meant to do without him?

“You’ll be… my living legacy,” Zack grunts in pain again, his hand slips off the back of Cloud’s head, and thuds against the cold, muddy ground, his arm gone limp.

Cloud sits up again. No . This isn’t right. It’s not meant to be him, he can’t do this alone. Zack needs to live, he can’t carry Zack’s legacy, it’s too much, he’s not enough for this. 

He stares at Zack, his face feels tacky, something other than rain and mud sticking to it where it had been pressed to Zack’s body.

Zack smiles again, reaches for the buster sword, he lifts it, “My honor, my dreams,” He shoves the sword at Cloud’s chest, “They’re yours now.”

Cloud clutches the buster on instinct and frees it from Zack’s grasp. Zack’s arm falls back to the ground, a hard smack on impact. 

Cloud can barely process what’s going on. It’s too much all at once. His brain has barely started to function again. His thoughts are nothing but a scramble of Zack. Dying. Legacy. Live. Love. Zack. Zack. Dying. Dying. Dying. Legacy. Live. 

“I’m your…” he has to do this one thing for Zack, he can’t save him, he has to do whatever he can, “Living legacy,” Cloud promises him. 

Zack smiles, his breathing slows even more. His breaths are horrifically shallow, almost nonexistent. 

Cloud’s run out of chances, it’s selfish of him but it’s now or never, really. 

“Zack, I,” Cloud inhales, filling his own lungs with more air than Zack’s gotten into his body in the last minute, “I lo—” 

A sharp pain shoots through Cloud’s head, it temporarily blinds him, makes his thoughts fizzle out, his memories blink. He nearly collapses, nearly falls onto… The person below him, the dying man laying on the ground underneath him, covered in blood.

Who is… 

No, it’s Zack. This isn’t just some man, this is Zack.

He’s not dying, either, he’s dead.

Zack is lying on the ground in front of him, dead. Cloud promised to be his living legacy, to live for the both of them. 

Zack’s dead. 

Cloud stares up at the sky and screams. The sky screams back, a clap of thunder booming across its gray expanse. The heavens are crying, mourning Zack’s death with him, the only witnesses to a hero’s end.

Cloud stands, he holds the buster, “Goodnight… Zack.”

His head pangs, his mind empties, and then everything is fuzzy and green for a while.

Chapter Text

Aerith’s church is just as beautiful as the day he fell through its roof nearly three years ago. 

It’s dustier now, broken apart and much, much emptier, but just as beautiful. More lilies grow in the patch in the floorboards and there’s a large pool of healing water, too, but those add to its beauty. The church reminds him of her house, it smells of dust and home. 

The anniversary of Cloud’s arrival in Midgar is soon. It’s September, four months until the anniversary of Meteorfall. 

While the anniversary of Meteor is still several months off, a different anniversary is even closer. It’s today, actually.

Three years since Zack’s death. Three years since he stood on that cliff and took bullet after bullet to get back to Midgar, back to Aerith. Three years since Zack passed his legacy on to Cloud. 

Cloud sits on his cot by Aerith’s flower bed. He doesn’t sleep here often anymore, only once in a while, and he nearly always tells Tifa where he is first. Texts her often just to let her know he’s still alive. 

He’s usually pretty good about it, but these few months, the time between Zack and Aerith’s deaths, is still hard to deal with. 

He may have forgotten to message Tifa this time. He may have forgotten to warn her he was leaving or contact her for the last several days to tell her how and where he is. It’s fine, though, she knows.

Tifa is the only living person on the planet, other than Cloud, who knows the full extent of what happened on that cliff overlooking Midgar.

After he fell into the lifestream and remembered the truth about his past, Cloud told everyone about Zack, that he was a first class SOLDIER and not Cloud. That he had died protecting Cloud, getting Cloud to Midgar. He told everyone that Zack had carried him all the way from Nibelheim to Midgar after they had been held under the Shinra Manor for four years. That’s all he told them, though.

Only Tifa knows what Zack said to Cloud, and what Cloud had tried to say to Zack. Only she knows about Zack passing on his legacy and dreams. Only Tifa knows about Cloud taking Zack to meet his mom during their mission in Nibelheim. Only Tifa knows that Cloud had loved Zack when he was alive.

What Tifa doesn’t know is that Cloud still loves Zack. He can’t get over him. His love eats at him like a parasitic disease, just as the geostigma had. 

She probably has her suspicions, with how Cloud talks about him, especially when he talks about him. 

Cloud can’t seem to talk about Zack most of the time. But any time he’s got a few in him he can’t seem to stop talking about him. He tells her about missions he and Zack had been on, about casual hangouts, and even gushes about all the things that had made him fall for him. 

Tifa never asks, but she can probably see it. The love that still burns in him. The way it still consumes him. It’s probably why her messages this time don’t seem as angry. She gets what it’s like to love and lose someone like that. In some ways, at least. 

The worst part, to him, is the fact he never got to tell Zack. It’s stupid, honestly. He hadn’t even known Zack that long, in the grand scheme of things. Zack’s been dead and gone longer than he and Zack had technically even known each other, not counting their years in the lab together. 

But that’s why he’s here now. To tell Zack, in some way. He’s probably rejoined the planet now, his spirit forged into a new life as the planet recovers from the harm Shinra did to it. 

Maybe he’s a tree now. Or a cat, or a deer. Maybe he’s even become a lily in the field in the church. Continuing to watch over Cloud when he sleeps, just like he did when he carried Cloud to Midgar. 

He takes a deep breath, he’s come here to confess. Not to any of his sins, not this time. He’s come to the church because it feels right, this is a holy place. This is where he should kneel and spill his secrets, reveal his heart to the dead. A place where the lifestream and the planet might actually hear him. 

Cloud rises to his feet and leaves the cot, then kneels by Aerith’s flowers. He stares at the pool that cured the geostigma. He watches his reflection, takes in the purple under his eyes, the salt stains down his cheeks, the tangles in his hair. He’s not been taking very good care of himself. Tifa, Aerith, and Zack would all be disappointed. 

He glances at the buster sword, at where it now rests in the church among the flowers, rusted beyond use. Zack would definitely be disappointed, but he can’t bring himself to wield it anymore, it never should have been his in the first place. The burden is too great for him to bear. He can carry Zack’s dreams and honor in him, can live for the both of them, but he cannot carry the physical representation of that with him. 

To Cloud the buster no longer only represents Zack’s dreams and honor. It represents the lies he told and the people who died because of him, both directly and indirectly. 

So, it sits in the church now, wasting away from disuse. The marker of the beginning of a hero’s journey, many would say. Cloud sees it as nothing more than a representation of the end of a real hero’s life. 

Cloud squeezes his eyes shut, he’s tired of crying. He reaches into the pool and cups his hands, bringing a handful of the cold water to his face. He scrubs the tear tracks from his cheeks. When he opens his eyes again he looks to the roof and at the big, blue sky. The same one that mourned Zack with him, for him, three years ago. 

Cloud bites his cheek then starts doing what he came here for, talking.

“Hey, guys. Well, hi Zack. I just wanted to, um, talk to you,” his cheeks burn with embarrassment, he feels like an idiot. This is stupid, isn’t it?

“I don’t know if you’re there, or if you can even hear me or whatever, but there’s still some stuff I want to tell you. Things I wanted to tell you before… everything. Even if you can’t hear me, I’ll just be glad to have finally said it, I think,” Cloud licks his lips and swallows, he’s much more nervous than he expected, considering he’s the only one actually here . 

“It’s been three years since you died. I don’t know if you know that, I’m not sure how time works in the lifestream, even with as much time as I’ve been in it myself,” Cloud smiles weakly, then continues, “My twenty-fourth birthday was last month, Tifa and Marlene made me a chocolate cake. That was your favorite, it’s always been mine, but I’ve liked it even more ever since I learned it was your favorite, too. You met Tifa back in Nibelheim, she was our guide. You had asked me if I knew her, I told you it was complicated, but the truth is…” 

Cloud stares at his reflection again, at the way sunlight hits his hair and makes it almost glow, like heaven shining into the church on him, listening to his confession. “The truth is we didn’t know each other that well as kids, but I had always wanted to impress her. I thought if I made SOLDIER she’d notice me,” Cloud laughs, not because it’s funny, but because it feels so silly to him now. “I invited her to that water tower we had in town and told her I was going to become SOLDIER and help her if she ever needed it. But I never made SOLDIER, so that’s why I hid from everyone.”

He’s stalling, none of this matters, really. He clears his throat, “Well, she survived Sephiroth’s attack, in case you were wondering. I guess I sort of kept my promise to her, in a way. Anyway, I had a crush on her growing up, you remember when you asked me what my type was? Back at your place all those years ago? That was… eight years ago now, I think. You asked me my type and I panicked. I told you my type was people with dark hair because Tifa has dark hair. It wasn’t really a lie, though, it’s just that Tifa wasn’t really my type at that point. The truth is, there actually was someone I had my eye on, but that person wasn’t her anymore. It was, well, it was actually—”

Cloud looks in the water and a face stares back at him. A face that most certainly isn’t his own. A face with familiar, long black hair, tan skin, mako eyes, and a scar on his left jaw. Zack. 

Cloud jumps back, what the hell?

After a moment a hand shoots up through the water, like a zombie rising from the grave in a shitty horror movie, or like the decorations in the haunted hotel at the Golden Saucer.

Cloud scrambles forward again and grabs the hand, then pulls.

Attached to the hand is Zack Fair. Alive and breathing, and as naked as the day he was born. Cloud sees his chest, covered in a myriad of scars, from bullet holes, blades, burns, and who knows what else. Cloud stares, not in awe, but in shock and horror. This can’t be real. He has to be imagining things again. 

Zack falls to his hands and knees, then coughs and gasps for breath, his lungs full of air for the first time in three years. He heaves another breath in, then looks at Cloud, smiles, and in a voice rough from disuse says, “You were saying?”

Cloud’s jaw drops, and he stares. Zack is alive.  

Chapter Text

Zack has been alive again for half a year at this point. The first month or so was a major adjustment period for everyone, especially Zack. People don’t often die and then return from the lifestream, and the body isn’t physically built to withstand it. While Zack was physically recovering from his rebirth, Cloud spent time catching him up on everything he missed. He told him about Meteor, and how Sephiroth had returned from the dead twice and tried to destroy the planet. 

He even, reluctantly, admitted that he’d accidentally stolen Zack’s identity. Wanted to make sure Zack heard it from him first and was prepared in case one of those lingering misconceptions came up. Or if Reno decided he wanted to taunt Cloud for his past identity issues again. 

Unsurprisingly, Zack took it well. Told Cloud he had no control over something like that, it was his own fault for telling Cloud to take his honor and dreams and to live for the both of them when Cloud was just waking from a mako-coma. The excuse feels flimsy at best to Cloud, but it’s not worth arguing over. Zack gets stubborn when it comes to easing his friend’s worries, and Cloud’s lost enough arguments in that vein to know when one is pointless. 

Luckily, Cloud didn’t have to tell Zack about Aerith, they had already met, albeit briefly, in the lifestream. 

The aftermath of Meteorfall was what Zack was most excited to hear about. He didn’t care much about the WRO’s work, but the news of Shinra’s downfall elated him. Cloud made sure he understood that Shinra is gone, all that is left of them is the Turks, and they’re not much of a threat, honestly. Zack’s days of running are done, he’s safe and sound wherever he goes. 

Knowing that he was now safe anywhere caused him to bring up Gongaga and his parents. Cloud told him they were alive and well, at least prior to Meteorfall they were, but they still had no clue where Zack went. Cloud planned on telling them eventually but kept putting it off. His procrastination turned out to be a blessing in disguise this one time. 

The thought of going back to them and admitting that he had known Zack and forgotten him was… impossible. How could you tell the parents of the man you love that you never knew him? How could you return after doing that and admit that that was untrue? How would they ever accept the truth from his mouth? Wouldn’t they think he was lying again? 

Zack visited his parents as soon as he was well enough to, which ended up being two months post-resurrection. While Zack was away Cloud dedicated all his time to finally restoring the buster sword. Removing the year’s worth of rust took ages, but it felt worth it to finally see the buster looking almost as good as it had when Cloud had first seen Zack wielding it back when they left their mission in Modeoheim. 

It was only a single month until Zack returned from Gongaga, saying he had decided he was going to move to Edge and live there, now. Cloud was relieved to hear it, not ready to once again be separated from him. 

Zack was over the moon with joy when he received the restored buster sword. His smile was as bright and wide as Cloud remembered it being before Nibelheim and all that followed. Cloud had almost forgotten how good being the cause of Zack’s joy made him feel. Like being sixteen and wanting nothing but to impress Zack all over again. 

With the news of Zack deciding to permanently move to Edge, it became clear that he needed a job and a place to stay. Cloud was quick to tell him about Strife Delivery Service and offer him a job. Zack accepted gratefully and ended up moving into what used to be Cloud’s office above Seventh Heaven. Living under the same roof as Zack alleviated some of his worries that Zack might just disappear at any moment. 

Zack’s new job as an assistant deliveryman is why Cloud and Zack are currently walking around Edge together. Cloud had several local deliveries to do today, and he easily could have done them all alone, or have let Zack do them on his own, but Zack insisted they do them together. Zack’s excuse was that it was training, Cloud’s pretty sure Zack can manage navigating Edge and handing off packages by himself, especially since he’s been doing it on his own the last couple of months. But why would Cloud ever say no to extra time together?

They’re on their way to the last delivery of the day. It’s a supply shipment for a food vendor in the main plaza of Edge. The stall is incredibly popular despite only selling hotdogs, so he requires deliveries often. Cloud’s almost sure Zack’s actually delivered one of the packages to the guy by himself before. 

The duo walks toward the plaza, Zack carrying the package and Cloud following behind. They make light, pleasant conversation the entire time, just like old times. At least, until Zack decides to once again throw Cloud for a loop and says, “So, Cloud… how are things with you and Tifa?”

Cloud falters for just a moment, Zack notices instantly and turns to look at him, Cloud barely manages a straight-faced, but exasperated, “What?” in response.

Zack cocks a brow, “You know… things … like romance and whatever. How’s your relationship? You two are together, right? Or are you still pining after her? If that’s the case you should go for it, she totally likes you.”

“No, she absolutely does not ,” Cloud tries not to make a face, “Gods, this is a horrible habit of yours.”

Cloud starts walking again, now taking the lead and guiding them into the plaza, “Habit?” Zack asks, moving to catch up. 

“Constantly insisting I like people that I have absolutely no interest in whatsoever,” they arrive at the vendor’s stall, Zack walks up to the counter and hands over the package. Cloud accepts the payment, quickly counts it twice, and then slides it into his wallet. 

The man smiles at them while pulling the shipment into his kitchen, “Thank you both so much, I was nearly out of several things, you’re total lifesavers. Oh, but you must be tired, could I get you something to eat? I can offer a discount for my favorite delivery men, of course!” 

“Yes, please!” Zack replies before Cloud has a chance to decline.

The vendor makes their orders, Zack gets everything on his, literally everything, including chili, relish, and a pickle spear. Cloud simply gets mustard on his, nothing else. 

They search for a quiet place to eat, walking in silence until they find one. Cloud is still trying to fathom why Zack would think he and Tifa are a couple. He’s almost positive he never mentioned anything even close to that to Zack. He definitely didn’t flirt with Tifa or say anything romantic to her around Zack, or at all in the past several years. To everyone else it’s been pretty obvious that he’s been longing for Zack, just about everyone that’s seen both of them in a room together for longer than ten seconds has told him how not-subtle he’s been. 

After a minute's walk, they find a bench tucked into the far end of an alley down the street from Seventh Heaven. It’s late enough in the day that everyone’s either at a bar, at home, or working, so not many people are going to pass by. They both take a seat on the bench, Zack already finishing his food as he does.

Cloud still has about half his hotdog left, he chews thoroughly on the bite still in his mouth, then swallows and asks, “So, why exactly do you think me and Tifa are a thing? Or, why do you think I’d want to be a thing with her?” 

Zack wipes sauce off the corner of his mouth with a napkin, “I mean, you guys live together, right?”

“Yeah? In separate rooms? You also live there?” 

“Well… you did say you like people with dark hair, right?” 

Cloud rubs one of his temples with his free hand, then takes another bite to calm himself, maybe if he just bit the bullet and finally told Zack he wouldn’t have to keep having conversations like this. 

He sighs, “Zack, you do know I have standards , right? I don’t just like anyone with dark hair? Tifa’s amazing and all but I really don’t feel… like that for her.”

“Not anymore, at least,” Zack retorts, pointing at him.

Cloud narrows his eyes, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Zack crumples the napkin in his hand, “Well, I mean… I heard what you said, back in the church when I was in the water.” 

Cloud chokes mid-swallow, “What?” He coughs. 

Zack’s brows go up in concern and he pats Cloud on the back, “Oh God, I didn’t mean to freak you out! I didn’t even hear everything. Just… bits and pieces, it was all muffled, like I was underwater, even before I was actually in the water.”

Heat starts rising in Cloud’s cheeks, “What all did you hear?”

“Something about… your birthday, and chocolate cake?” Zack looks at Cloud for confirmation. Cloud nods, so Zack continues, “Then I heard something about SOLDIER, and why you wanted to join. Not all of it but something about wanting to impress Tifa, I kind of just assumed…” 

Cloud shoves the rest of the food in his mouth, trying to buy some time, putting off the inevitable as long as he’s able. When he decided to speak to Zack in the church he did it with the assumption Zack wouldn’t be able to respond. Having to hear Zack’s response to Cloud’s insecurities and childhood dreams is discomfiting. 

He swallows, “Well I did, ah, say more than that.”

“I assumed,” Zack chuckles, “Like what, though?” 

“I said… Well, I tried to tell you that me and Tifa never actually knew each other that well as kids, first of all. We didn’t even get close until after you, um…” Cloud lets that sentence trail off, “Anyway, I had explained why I hid my face in Nibelheim since you called me a weirdo for it back then.” 

Zack nods, and tosses the balled-up napkin into a nearby trash bin, “Okay… So, why did you?”

Cloud scrunches his face, an old habit he had when he was younger that came back when Zack did, “I was embarrassed because I told her I would become a SOLDIER and protect her if she ever needed it. I had a crush on her before I left when I was thirteen. Tifa had literally noticed it herself back then, she would notice it now, too. She’s told me I’ve always been obvious with stuff like that.” 

“Always?” Zack tilts his head to the side.

Shit , slip of the tongue, why would Tifa be telling him that unless he had feelings for someone else . Now he either has to say who or come up with some slightly believable excuse. Maybe he can just skirt around the truth. 

“Yeah… she says even when I acted like an asshole it was clear how much I cared. Especially in that way.”

“I’ve never noticed any of your crushes, though. I mean, the few times I thought I did you told me I was wrong! You can’t be that obvious,” Zack complains.

This conversation is getting away from him, and Zack is too damn stubborn just to drop this one. 

“I don’t know, I’m just telling you what she told me,” Cloud tries to reason, “But that wasn’t all I said, either. I also blatantly said I wasn’t into her anymore.” 

Zack watches Cloud for a moment, then cocks his head, “You did, didn’t you? I remember that now…” 

Cloud stares back, what’s he getting at here?

“Obvious, huh? I wonder what that really means. What makes it obvious?” Zack meets Cloud’s eyes, “Laughing at all their jokes? Constantly cracking your own to make them smile? Doing stupid shit just to see how they’ll react? Teasing them just to make them blush? That’s what I’ve always done, at least.” 

Zack looks away, and stares at some graffiti on the wall of a building on the opposite side of the alley, “Tifa told me you’ve been smiling and talking more lately. That she’s never seen you like this before, and that you’ve never laughed as much as you have since I came back. I thought she was crazy, you know? You’ve always smiled so much around me, ever since we met.” 

Cloud’s glad he’s sitting right now. If he were standing he might have collapsed on the spot. Seriously, what is Zack trying to say right now?

“Aerith always told me I was obvious, too. Back when I was still in SOLDIER I would always talk to her about this person I liked. She told me I was so obnoxious about it, she was just kidding, of course, but I did go on and on. She told me that with how I talked there was no way I wasn’t obvious around him. I’ve always been told I wear my heart on my sleeve. I used to believe her, but the evidence always seemed to say she was wrong.” 

Zack shakes his head, the strands that always dangle by his right eyebrow swinging with the motion, “I thought, ‘if I were that obvious, then surely he would have noticed by now, right?’ Then I thought, ‘maybe he did notice and he’s ignoring it’ but then shit kept happening and I thought—” he looks at Cloud again, “I thought, ‘maybe there’s a chance, maybe he feels the same, just keep being as obvious as Aerith says you are!’ but after all these years… well, I guess I never was as obvious as I thought, huh?” 

Cloud stays staring at him, jaw slack, throat dry. He swallows to get rid of the feeling and doesn’t respond, unsure what to say. How is this real? 

Zack laughs and scrubs a hand down his face, “I remember, in the church, you were going to tell me there was someone else you were interested in. And I remember you wanted to tell me something back in Nibelheim, too. I had gotten so excited, I thought maybe… Well, I thought that you might—”

Cloud doesn’t let Zack finish, this has gone on long enough. He’s had enough opportunities stolen from him to let this one get away, too. He grabs Zack by the shoulder and pushes until they’re facing each other, then leans in close, and stops, centimeters from Zack’s face. He can feel Zack’s breath hitch, a small, surprised exhale escaping his mouth and barely brushing against Cloud’s lips.

Before he can think better of it or second guess himself he asks Zack what he’s been wanting to ask him for years, “Can I kiss you?” 

Cloud sees Zack swallow, he glances down and just barely watches the lump travel down his neck. When he looks back up Zack’s eyes are the size of saucers, his pupils just small, black dots in the center. Cloud almost thinks he’s made a mistake, and is about to back up and apologize, when Zack finally nods and croaks out a weak, “Yeah.”

Cloud’s hand moves to the back of Zack’s neck, and he pulls him down to his level. Then Zack’s lips are against his own, their kiss is sweet but desperate, like Cloud’s trying to swallow Zack whole, like he’s scared this moment’s a last, afraid this is their only chance to be together like this. Cloud’s fingers tangle in the hairs at Zack’s nape. Zack reaches up and holds Cloud’s cheek, tilts his head up ever so slightly more, Cloud just about melts on the spot from it. He’s been waiting for this moment since the second he took his helmet off on that mountain in Modeoheim. He’s experienced just about a decade of waiting, he’s going to savor this moment all he can.

Cloud’s hand balls and he grabs a fistfull of Zack’s hair, pulling him even closer. Zack grunts gently in surprise, then pulls back, “Are you alright?” 

Cloud realizes a few tears fell from his eyes, he didn’t notice he was even crying. He’s never cried from joy in his entire life. He wipes the moisture from his cheeks then laughs gently, near delirious with the taste of Zack on his lips. He’s never going to get sick of that, and if he doesn’t get another taste soon he’s sure he’ll go insane, “Never better, honestly.”

Zack smiles, Cloud’s stomach feels ten pounds lighter, like he might float out of his seat if it weren’t for Zack still cupping his cheek. 

“Same here,” Zack agrees, then leans forward till their foreheads touch, Cloud has to restrain himself from immediately closing the distance and kissing him again, “Maybe I should have said something sooner.”

Cloud shakes his head, jostling Zack as he does, “I could have said something, too, I just thought…”

Zack looks him in the eyes, going a little cross-eyes with how close they are, it’s frustratingly adorable, “Thought what?” Zack pinches his brows. 

If he stays this close to Zack any longer he’ll go insane, so Cloud finally backs up an inch or two, just enough so he can actually look Zack in the face without straining, he chews his lip for a moment, “I thought you and Aerith were dating that whole time. I mean I know you dated at some point.” 

“Oh,” Zack straightens up a little, “Yeah, I guess we did, I never told you much about her, did I? I think I just mentioned us dating offhandedly once and then talked about hanging out with her. I mean, me and her were never like… super serious, honestly. I never even met her mom, we were only together for, what, a couple months before we decided to just be friends? I can see why you assumed, I guess thinking I already had a girlfriend is a good enough reason for you to not assume I was in love with you, huh?”

Cloud’s eyes widen a fraction at that, “In love with me? When did you decide that?”

Zack visibly flushes a shade, seemingly embarrassed by the accidental confession, “Uh, well, yeah. Since… I don’t know, I thought you were cute back in Junon, but I think I’ve loved you since around right before we went on that mission to Nibelheim.”

Cloud smiles, the corners of his lips just slightly lifting at Zack’s nervousness, “Me, too.” 

“You, too… what?” Zack asks, tilting his head to the side again.

“I love you, too,” Cloud answers, then he reaches out and grabs Zack’s shoulder, pulling him back down for another kiss. Zack meets him halfway, his hand once again moving up to Cloud’s cheek, then sliding to cradle his jaw. One of Cloud’s hands somehow finds its way to Zack’s waist, the other plants itself on the top of Zack’s thigh, and he grabs on for dear life, accidentally grips Zack with enough force to make an unenhanced person wince. Zack doesn’t even seem to notice Cloud’s death grip on him, too focused on where their lips are connected. The kiss is slower, calmer this time, knowing their feelings are reciprocated, that they both love each other. 

His heart feels full to bursting, finally getting what he’s ached for for years. He lets himself savor the feeling of Zack against him for a moment before pulling away, now sure he’ll get plenty more opportunity for it in the future. 

Zack’s staring at him with a dumb smile on his face, Cloud thinks he might be falling even harder for him because of it. 

“So…” Zack begins, his smile never fading, “Would you want to go out sometime, then?”

Cloud rolls his eyes, the smile finding its way onto his face betraying his adoration for the man in front of him, “Come on, it’s getting late. We should probably get going home.”

“Is that a yes?” Zack asks, then his smile turns from goofy to mischievous, and he moves close to Cloud again and speaks into his ear in a low whisper, “Home, you said? Any plans once we get there?”

He blushes, his cheeks and the tips of his ears burning red, then nudges Zack’s shoulder playfully to push him off, “Shut up,” Cloud stands and offers a hand up to Zack, which he accepts with a hearty laugh.

Zack doesn’t release Cloud’s hand once he’s on his feet, and Cloud just holds on tighter in return. Zack looks over at him and smiles, the crow’s feet forming by his eyes creasing deeper. Cloud smiles back, and pulls Zack out the alley and leads them down the road back to Seventh Heaven. 

A decade of constant interruptions and waiting feels completely worth it to have ended up here with Zack’s hand in his now.