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Quest doesn’t think of himself as a good person.
He’s certainly not a horrible person, a person who deserves to rot. That much he knows. He knows that he is better than other scum who still walk free.
But the brain is a dangerous tool when left on its own.
He reflects on the crimes he has committed in his past sometimes, when he is alone in his thoughts, when he is left to his own devices without something else.
He thinks about so much of his past. About how he does not deserve the life he has now, despite it being so devoid of any variety, despite it being all the same, every day.
Quest tried his best to rectify for his actions every single day, in his words, the services he did for others, but it was all futile. He still felt like nothing he could ever do was enough.
But here he was, looking at himself, with a short-sleeved button up, making sure he looked somewhat presentable. For a shopping trip with you.
He wanted to try to be a better man, for you. He wanted to be the boyfriend that he knew you wanted him to be.
But he was terrified, even still, despite your reassurances over text, and on call all those months ago. Terrified that you were just pretending to like him, just waiting for the right moment to leave. Just waiting in the shadows to reveal your true thoughts, how you really fe-
“Are you ready?”
Your lovely voice breaks his thoughts in half, bringing him back to his current state, in the bathroom. He hoped he looked presentable enough to go out at least.
“Coming.” He responds quickly, brushing down his shirt to look somewhat presentable for today. He may not be good, but he wanted to try for you. This date was casual, but he knew it was something you’d like. So he would try, just for today.
He stepped out into the hallway, to look at you, and his mood brightens instantly.
You just wear a casual black t-shirt with loose shorts going to the middle of your thighs. An outfit so simple for what it was worth, yet Quest couldn’t help but smile at you in return. You just always looked beautiful to him, no matter what you wore. He couldn’t help but gaze at you will at the love he could offer.
“Quest?” You step to him and wave your hands in front of him, unaware of why he was staring. “Love, did you get enough sleep?”
“I did,” he smiles, taking your hand in his. “You are too kind, angel.”
“Geh–” you sputter, your cheeks starting to warm. You still weren’t used to the nickname just yet, but you’d still blush every time even when you were. You couldn’t help it; his voice was like butter on bread. You squeeze his hand in return “I mean, we are…partners.”
He chuckles, tracing your hand a bit with his thumb for a moment before smiling at you once more. “Should we go now?”
You nod, smiling at him, a twinkle in your eye as you squeeze his hand once more. This was something you both had been looking forward to for a long time, and considering it was the only day where it wasn’t raining, you both had to take the opportunity.
“Let’s do this, darling.”
It hasn’t been long since you had arrived in the shopping centre and started to browse, only an hour, yet you’re scanning the isles full of various types of tops with a frantic urgency that he could hardly fathom.
Quest had done his shopping already, quite briefly in fact, just a couple of groceries and some new socks. He had come here mainly for you, since he liked to just…see you doing various activities, whether it be cooking your own meals at home, reading, or dozing away in the bed on summer days. He never minded it though, and you never objected to it either.
You were still looking for the right top though, after quite a while of going through each of the individual clothes sections within this specific store. You had decided on getting a singlet today, but which one specifically?
Summer was just around the corner after all, and you had always wanted a singlet top that would fit you just right, not just for the sweltering heat, but for those mornings where you would accompany your boyfriend to the gym, and the sweltering heat was too much for your usual t-shirt and shorts.
As you scanned through the options, you realised you’d have a hard time choosing a singlet. Some of the singlets looked too loose, some looked too tight in your mind, some show too much skin for your liking, the material rough and uncomfortable to the touch, others too soft to ever be worn outside of the house.
As Quest slowly scans some shorts mindlessly on the other side of the rack, he then meets eyes with someone. It was your ex. He vaguely remembers you showing a photo of him when he first arrived here, just in case something like this happened.
It was happening now, and so many thoughts ran through his mind. Would he try to talk to you, even after what happened in the server? Would he call out and humiliate you both? Would he leave you alone? Even if he did just walk from aisle to aisle on his own without disturbing the safe space the both of you had, Quest knew he had to act, and quickly. He knew that if you had even glanced up to glance at the man fast approaching, it would not end well. He had to act quickly before the worst could ever come to pass.
You look up at your boyfriend curiously as Quest slowly makes his way over to you, a confused look on your face as he looks down, a black singlet pinched between your fingers.
“Found anything?” He asks, his eyes kind and caring as always, making you none the wiser to his inner turmoil. He just needed to get you focused on the singlets. Or to get you to the other section of the clothes department. That’s all.
“Mm..I might check the other section.” You say almost nonchalantly, “Nothing much that suits me, or my needs.”
That mere sentence alone makes him almost sigh in relief at the mere suggestion. He offers his hand and you take it almost immediately, and his hand in yours make his worries almost float away, like a balloon into the sky.
He loved holding your hand, and especially now, as you walked across the clothing department, past the swimming costumes, and various other sections.
Your ex seemingly was too observed in shopping for a singlet himself that he didn’t even notice the two of you, hands and body warmths linking you together like one sole entity.
Quest likes to think that it was his presence that was the reason why your ex didn’t dare approach you this time. To know that you were happy with him, knowing that he would keep you safe, was something that he would hold forever.
You approach the other side of the singlet section of the store, and you smile briefly, letting go of his hand as you scan through the singlets again. This time, he lets his gaze glance around for any signs of your ex, before allowing you to continue your shopping.
“Found one!” You declare, which makes Quest walk to you immediately, with a specific material that you seemed to prefer. It was just right for you, he knew it. Not too tight, but not too lose. The material was smooth and snug, and he could only imagine how amazing you would look in it.
You smile at him, and he leans in for a kiss. It’s a short one, considering where you are, but it conveys all that he needs to say. Your lips move with his, hands wrapping around his neck and his hands down at your sides.
He could never get enough of this feeling. Your lips on his, sparks flying, your touch making him go crazy the longer youe hands were on him.
He pulls away and smiles at you, glancing at the singlet briefly again. “Do you want to try it on, angel?”
“Of course.” You smile, and as you head to the change room, he can’t help but be relieved, just a little bit. Relieved that you dont have any doubt of being his. Of being here for you. You just trust hum.
After a long day of shopping and packing away some new clothes, including the singlet, you are both in bed, your eyes slowly drooping closed, but you seemed to fight against it once again.
“Tired, huh?” He chuckles, his hands dancing along your cheek, light enough to cause a groan out of you.
“Mmh…” You grumble, dipping your head into his neck, leaving light touches there. “Long..”
“I know baby,” he smiles, pulling you a little closer to him. “I had fun. Did you?”
You nod, humming into his neck, which made him chuckle, the sounds of his laugh making you giggle too.
“I- yes!” You giggle, holding him close. “I did. We should do that soon.” You yawn, and he knows not to continue the conversation.
He hums in approval though, and watching you slowly fall asleep in his arms, arms gripping onto him tightly, he feels his doubts start to fade, even just for a moment.
He knows he’s not a good person. But, to you, he's everything that you ever wanted a kind and caring boyfriend to be. And he knows that it’s enough.
You both are content, and healing from your past together, and that is enough for him.
You are enough.