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“Hey, Marcille?” Laios asks, sitting beside her in the secluded nook the elf girl had found when they stopped to rest.
Marcille is curled up against the stone bricks of the wall, arms pressed against her torso, looking slightly queasy.
“Yeah?” She barely turns her head to look at him. Her voice sounds off, a bit. Pained.
“You don’t look so good,” Laios says. “Should I warn the others about food poisoning?”
She turns her head to look at him, this time. Her expression is annoyed. She rolls her eyes.
“No, it’s not food poisoning.”
Laios claps his palms against his knees, readying himself to stand up. “That’s good. Senshi and Chilchuck will be happy to hear that.”
Marcille mutters something to herself, rolls her eyes again. “Can you cast a pain relief spell for me? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just anything would help.”
“Of course,” Laios nods. She uncrosses her arms to give him her spellbook, page for pain relief spells already open.
“Thanks,” she says. “God. I have no idea how Falin handles this every month.”
“What do you mean?” Laios asks. She rolls her eyes at him again.
“You men can be so thick. You really can’t think of anything that makes Falin feel sick every month?”
Laios pauses, for a long while, thinking while he casts the spell. “Oh.” Right. “You know, us humanoid races are some of the only mammals that have a menstrual cycle. Monsters, even placental ones, don’t menstruate, as a general rule.”
“Lucky us,” Marcille growls, and even Laios can understand that she’s being sarcastic.
“Instead of shedding their uterine lining, they reabsorb the nutrients for use within the body.”
“You’re so clinical about it. Have some decorum, please. Stop saying ‘menstruate’ like I’m some sort of zoological specimen.”
“Really, we’re the weird species for not reabsorbing the uterine lining.”
“Hey, Laios?” she asks. He stops to look her in the eyes. Even though he’s done the best he could to cast a pain relief spell, she still has that fiery look in her eyes.
“Yes?”
“Can you stop talking about my uterus?” She pauses. “Or, even better, shut up and leave me alone right now?”
“Absolutely. Feel better soon.”
Laios rejoins the rest of the party, sitting around the campfire.
“So how is she?” Senshi asks.
“Much better now. I think I’m getting better at healing spells.”
“That’s not what he’s asking,” Chilchuck sighs. “He’s asking if it’s food poisoning or not.”
“Oh,” Laios nods. “No, she doesn’t have food poisoning.”
“What’s wrong, then?” Senshi’s voice is low, soft, full of concern. “If it’s another illness, I should make her something to feel better. What are her symptoms?”
Marcille’s words echo through Laios’ brain. Have some decorum, please.
“Oh,” Laios waves his hand, attempting to remain casual. Menstruation is perfectly normal and natural, after all. “You know, woman problems.”
Chilchuck nods, nonchalant. He must understand, as a father of three daughters.
“Woman problems?” Senshi asks.
Oh, of course. He’s been more or less solitary for the last several years, hasn’t he?
“Just a bit of routine stomach pain. Related to fertility and such. You must have encountered them with the orc women?” If Marcille doesn’t want him to talk about her uterus, he’ll have to drop hints. These must be sufficient hints, right?
Senshi’s face drops even more, and his eyes bug out a little bit. It can’t be that surprising to him, can it? Orcs have menstrual cycles, don’t they? Dwarves certainly do, at least. Maybe orcs have a social stigma against talking about menstruation, like elves apparently do.
“With who?” he asks, his voice a horrified whisper.
What in the world could he be talking about? Menstruation is a solitary process.
Chilchuck rolls his eyes again, curses in the half-foot language, then speaks to Senshi. “She’s not fucking pregnant. I don’t know the time frame for elves, but we’d call it her monthly cycle.”
Oh. So that’s what Senshi was thinking. ‘With who?’ indeed. “Quite the opposite of pregnant, actually.” Is he allowed to say ‘menstruate’ yet? Marcille isn’t in earshot, but it seems rude to go against her wishes. They’re talking about her body, after all.
Senshi still looks confused. Laios wishes he hadn’t promised Marcille not to speak about her reproductive health frankly, because it’s no fun being the only person confused in a group.
“Senshi,” Chilchuck says, voice exhausted and empty of emotion. “You just gave me the sex talk not too long ago. Surely you must know what menstruation is.”
Behind that giant beard of his, Senshi blushes. “All you had to do was say it. I’ll make her some tea. The orc women have a good recipe that alleviates much of the pain from cramps.”
Laios is just glad that it was Chilchuck who broke Marcille’s rule and said ‘menstruate,’ instead of him.