Chapter Text
I remember a time, long before this conflict started. I was still young, relatively speaking considering I was still 2 million years old at the time, and had no idea of the horrors the coming war would bring upon me, all the death and destruction, all the changes it would make to me as an Autobot.
"Hey, there she is!"
I turned to where the source of the voice was, finding the source to be Tailgate sitting at a table with Ratchet and Orion, the latter of which had his face buried in a data-pad, as per usual.
"Hey guys." I sat down beside Tailgate and across from Orion. This was still during peace times, so I actually had a different appearance than I do now. Whereas I am now blue with pink accents, back then I was a fifty-fifty split of pink and white, with the only deviation being my waist, which was grey and red, and my faceplate, which was a darker pink than the rest of me. Overall I still looked the same in overall shape, I just had a different colouration.
Orion didn't say anything, or even acknowledge us in any way, his focus being on whatever he'd been reading. I roll my optics and placed a digit on the top of the data-pad, and slowly began pushing it down until it finally broke Orion's stupor. He blinked a few times and I waved at him with a small smile. His faceplate started glowing a bright shade of pink, his embarrassment clear for all to see.
"I wasn't expecting you two to be here," I said to Ratchet and Tailgate. "Well, I was looking for some help learning a few things, and Ratchet wanted to have a conversation with his oldest friend before you stole him away for the next Solar-Cycle—Day—so you two can have your study date." I blushed at what Tailgate was saying, and Orion abruptly stood up and walked over to the shelves to put his data-pad back and grab more for our study session.
"It's not like that at all!" I exclaimed in a fit of embarrassment. "We're just studying some medical basics." Ratchet raised an optic-ridge after I said that. "Now why would you ask him," he pointed at Orion, "for help learning that, when you have a licensed field medic only a call away?"
I knew why, I'd thought about asking Ratchet for help in learning the basics, but when Orion was so willing to help and looked so excited to go through that section of the Iacon Archives, I couldn't bring myself to say no to that faceplate. Because... Because...
I shook my helm, denying it. "You're explanations always leave me lost, in one way or another. Orion's explanations are simple and easily understood," I replied. I could tell he didn't believe what I was saying, but I sent him a hardened stare and silently challenged him to try me. He backed down and said his goodbye to Orion before walking out with a wave over his shoulder.
"I should probably get going, Cliff ain't going to wait forever. See you later, 'Cee." I had to hide my wince when he said that, feeling guilty for leading him on like I was. Cliffjumper too. I just didn't feel, and never ended up feeling, that way towards them. Sure they're great friends, but I just couldn't see them in that light.
He wandered off and left me alone at the table. A minute later Orion came back, only he was holding way more data-pads than I was expecting. Seriously, the stack was twice the height of Orion! At least three times taller than me!
"O-Orion!" I exclaimed. "This.. This is a little bit too much for me!" Orion set them down and peeked around the stack. "I did some research on what the basics of medicine and surgical procedures, and this was what I was able to come up with. I can always try to cut down on the amount of data-pads-" At that point, Orion just fell into unintelligible mumbling as he talked faster and faster. It was cute, but also contradictory to what we were going for.
"Orion!" He shut up immediately. "I think, in this case, it's okay for us to determine our own meaning of, 'the basics,' okay?" He nodded and sat himself down at the table, and split up the pile so we could go through it easier. That being said, it still took us two Mega-Cycles—Hours—to go through all of them and determine if they were worth keeping. Eventually we made it through and started on the study session.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the seat next to Orion, with my helm laying on his shoulder. I got and left in a complete embarrassed panic, leaving a very confused Orion in my wake. I tried to deny it again, but I knew that I had enjoyed waking up like that. I couldn't deny what I already knew anymore.
I was in love with Orion Pax.
<(———)>
I'd thought I would have more time to come to terms with my feelings, but then Orion and Megatron went to the Council of Cybertron. The two went in as good friends, and walked out as bitter rivals, with Megatron swearing to claim the Matrix of Leadership for himself, wherever it might lie. Orion was just confused by the whole thing, which he vented to me over a call a few days later. He never even wanted to be given the title of Prime, he just wanted to say his piece and hopefully redirect Megatron from a path of violence, unintentionally making him go down that very path.
And then the Civil War broke out.
Megatron's Decepticons grew so rapidly in number that the authorities were overwhelmed in a matter of days, and Megatron slowly started claiming swaths of territory as resistance movements sprang up to stop him. But those resistance movements couldn't do anything to stop Megatron from doing what he did next, poisoning the planet itself. Poisoning Primus into a complete shutdown of his systems.
Me, Tailgate, Cliffjumper, and Ratchet saw Orion off as he went to try and reverse the effects of Megatron's actions. Optimus Prime came back. I barely got a chance to speak with him before he threw himself into training with Alpha Trion and then the war, uniting the Resistance Movements into a unified coalition of Autobots.
That was when the war truly got deadly.
Ratchet was sent straight to the frontlines to join Orion in the fight and to save as many lives as he could while training up a new force of Field Medics. I immediately joined combat training alongside Tailgate and Cliffjumper. It took two Deca-Cycles—Months—for me to get through, and I did well enough to be sent straight to join Orion and Ratchet.
As soon as I arrived, I knew things were bad. So many injured bots, many with amputations just to live, and overall just really low morale amongst everyone. I found Ratchet not long after arriving, who was tending to the still injured Bumblebee, fresh out of getting his voice-box torn out. With him was Bulkhead from the Wreckers. Clumsy, but well mannered and respectful towards others.
"Ratchet, from 1 to 10, how scrubbed are we right now?" He just opted to stay silent, which did well enough to paint a very bad picture in my neural-net. "Where's Orion?" Both Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked confused at the name, and I immediately knew how bad things were effecting Orion. "In the back. Be mindful."
I wasted no time in rushing back there.
He was alone, staring at a monitor that was displaying a feed from a spy drone, the intensity on his faceplate once only reserved for data-pads. I went to speak, only to get cut off by the drone getting shot and the feed cutting out. Orion slammed his clenched servo on the side of the console, letting out an angry yell as he did so. I just stood there frozen for a few seconds, stunned by Orion's massive shift in character. The once dorky and peaceful Iacon archivist was now angry and seemingly aggressive.
"O-Orion?" He tensed and his mask shifted into place. His body then whirled around and a blaster was pointed directly at my helm, which reminded me that I needed to get some weapons installed. But at that moment, I ducked to the floor and exclaimed, "Orion! It's me! Arcee!" It was silent for a nano-cycle—second—and then the sound of his blaster retracting sounded. I looked up, finding him to now be holding out his servo for me to take.
I only noticed then how much larger receiving the Matrix had made him, almost as large as Megatron, and certainly on equal ground in terms of strength and power. The only place I could say he was behind was battle experience, for the obvious reason of Megatron being an Ex-Gladiator and Orion previously having next to no combat experience.
I took his servo, now two-thirds of the size of my whole arm, and he pulled me up. "My apologies, Arcee. Things have just been... stressful as of late." I nodded and sent him an understanding smile. "I can imagine, fighting your once best friend and his army can't be good for a bot's net." He just leans on the console, sighing. "And it's put me on edge. I wouldn't put Megatron past using my old name to try and disorient me, so it has become a source of automatic violence for me." He then started tapping away at the console again, waking up another drone that he started to pilot and scan the area between us and the Decepticons. "And it is for the same reason that I have forbidden anyone from calling me by my previous alias. I'm sorry, Arcee."
I couldn't bare the sight of him standing over the the console like that, yet I also knew that there was nothing I could do to help him. My old friend, and the Mech I was in love with, was suffering while I was powerless to do anything.
Part of me still wonders what might've happened if I'd expressed myself then, as a way to get things off my chest-plate. Who knows, maybe I could've even given him more hope than he had then. I certainly thought about it, and struggled with myself for a solid cycle—minute—before eventually deciding it better to go and leave.
That would be the same solar-cycle that I scanned and received my current blue and pink colouration. It made me stealthier thanks to the darker colouring, and allowed for me to start going on stealth missions. I became a lot more self-reliant and didn't talk to my old friends as much. Tailgate would eventually join me, only to be subsequently killed by the claws of Airachnid. After that I completely withdrew from anything they were doing, leaving me as distant as Optimus had become, only I lacked the patience and care he held.
Eventually though, stellar-cycles—years—later, me and Optimus would reunite on Earth when me and Cliff escaped Shockwave. Cliff is gone now, and it's just me, Optimus, Ratchet, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee left, with the occasional arrival from Wheeljack. Other than that it is all us, and—
"OPTIMUS!"