Chapter Text
The nightmares had become unbearable for both Furina and Arlecchino, as almost every night Furina’s fits in her sleep which left her caked in sweat would awake Arlecchino sleeping beside her first, then would wake Furina. Underneath the blankets of their large and luxurious bed, Furina would kick and jerk and punch as if she were struggling against an unseen assailant until Arlecchino touched her damp and burning skin which would always free Furina from her fit. She would breathe heavily as her eyes flitted open, and the first few times these nightmares had struck her, she almost hit Arlecchino out of fear of her nightmares carrying over into the waking world. Once she realized it was Arlecchino, however, she calmed down, and in subsequent nights she learned how to identify Arlecchino’s face through the blurred vision of being freshly awakened.
After suffering through nearly two months of almost nightly awakenings from these intense nightmares, she was faced with the most intense one yet, and as soon as she awoke from the cold touch of Arlecchino’s hand and she had calmed down and had taken a few sips of water, she decided that she had had enough. She did not say anything about her decision that night, and instead attempted to downplay the intensity of the nightmare she just had since Arlecchino had come into the habit of asking the same set of routine questions night after night to make sure Furina was okay. When asked what she had dreamt about, she chose a random recurring nightmare of lesser intensity to tell Arlecchino, and so they quickly went back to sleep after drying Furina off and putting the water away and making sure her heart rate had returned to normal. It wasn’t until the morning after that Furina approached Arlecchino with her idea.
“I have a question, Arle,” Furina said one day as Arlecchino sat in the parlor reading.
“Yes?”
“What would happen if… if I took the bottled flames?”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Well… all of my nightmares are based in my time as an archon, so what if I just… forgot about all that?”
“I would like to remind you that we only administer the bottled flames when absolutely necessary, and even then we are reluctant due to the extreme amounts of pain it causes.”
“I know that, you’ve told me all about that, but I still think this is the best bet. I don’t think I can keep going with these nightmares.”
Arlecchino sighed. “I really don’t want to put you through this, Fufu. I have seen the pain and confusion it causes. I don’t wish that upon anybody.”
“And you don’t have to, but I wish to do it to myself. I can’t deal with these nightmares anymore. I haven’t been sleeping for fear of them. It’s making me suffer.”
“You know if you take it, you’ll forget everything from before you took it, right? Not just the time you served as an archon, but everything after, as well? You will forget me, forget the children, forget it all.”
“I understand that. But you will be there for me, right? You will remind me who you are and I trust that I’ll fall in love with you all over again. Maybe even easier, this time. We’ll have a clean slate.”
“ You’ll have a clean slate.”
“But it’ll be beneficial for both of us.”
“Fine, I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.” Furina left the room to tend to her own vices. Arlecchino attempted to continue to read, but her eyes skimmed over the words while her mind thought over the problem Furina had presented her. After she had read the same page at least three times over, the conclusion she had come to was that there was no easy solution, and that it was worth doing if Furina had wished for it.
She finished the chapter of her book, closed it softly and examined the cloth-bound boards of the book for a few moments. Then she stood up, placing the book on a small table beside the chair, and made her way to her office. Beneath the desk she pulled out a small case which let out sounds of clinking glass as she moved it through the air and placed it against the smooth wood surface of the desktop. She clicked open the latches and lifted the lid, revealing multiple corked, glass flasks which all shone with a dull fiery glow. She pulled one out and examined its contents before placing it against the desk, shutting the case and returning it to its spot underneath her desk.
She rang a bell on her desk, and nearly immediately one of her children was standing just inside of her office. She said “fetch Furina for me, would you? And let the head of the medical wing know we’re doing a memory wipe,” and the child nodded and slipped out of the office just as quietly as she had entered. Arlecchino waited at the desk silently with no sound except the tapping of her claws against the wooden desk and the ticking of her office’s clock.
Soon, a handful of nurses arrived at the office who were soon followed by Furina herself. She entered the office and looked around, seeing the nurses with their medical equipment, which caused her face to twist in confusion. She looked to Arlecchino for an explanation, but then saw the bottle sitting on her desk. Neither of them said a word, and Furina approached the chair which had been set out for Furina. She sat, and began to examine the bottle.
“Are you sure you want this?” Arlecchino asked. The bottle in front of her glowed with a dim red heat which flowed and undulated like glitter suspended in water. Furina, who sat across the desk from Arlecchino, examined the bottle while she fidgeted with her own fingers. She avoided eye contact at all costs.
“I am,” Furina said. The flames in the bottle swirled as if reacting to her piercing gaze, and she gripped her knees in anxiety. Her brow was drenched in sweat, and the sight of the bottle made her stomach churn, but she’d rather this than the fear that came from witnessing what could have happened to Fontaine had she failed each and every night.
“Very well,” Arlecchino said. She slid the bottle across the table, and the medical staff in the room prepared to attend to Furina as soon as the flames touched her lips. Furina stared at the churning flames for a few moments longer before she allowed an unseen force to pull her shaking hand towards the bottle. The air around the glass was hot and damp, and the surface of the glass against her skin was almost too hot to hold onto. She looked up at Arlecchino who examined her and the bottle with a cold face which she had trained from seeing many of her children make the exact same choice.
“I love you, Arle,” Furina said.
“Love you too. See you on the other side.”
Furina pulled back on the cork which slipped free with a satisfying sound. The air coming out of the neck of the bottle rippled at the intense heat of the flame which caused Furina to second guess herself, but as soon as those doubts crossed her mind, she forced the opening of the bottle against her lips, and instantly felt the intense burn of the flames against her lips, then tongue, then throat, then stomach. Moments before excruciating burning overtook her entire body, she felt the many hands of medical staff grab onto her and start tending to her as she convulsed in her seat as the pain grew in intensity. She screamed as loud as she could, although she couldn’t hear her own screaming over the volume of pain which caused her ears to ring. The pain was so intense that it wasn’t long until she blacked out completely from it.
Arlecchino watched as the woman she loved so dearly descended into intense and screaming pain. Her face contorted in ways that made her heart race and stomach twist, and each visceral scream made her want to cry, but she kept herself stoic. She watched her own medical staff grab Furina and lift her onto a stretcher where they carried her out of the room and to the room where she would be monitored and cared for as she recovered. She had seen this song and dance done many times before, and each of them hurt. None of them had hurt nearly this much. None of them had made her genuinely afraid. Furina’s screams reached her ears from all the way down the hall. They echoed through the House of Hearth for the rest of the day.
The first thing Arlecchino did after waking in the morning was report to Furina’s room and ask her doctors about her condition.
“Well, Father, I’m not entirely quite sure what to make of it,” the doctor had said, “She seems as if she had very little to no cognitive change in response to the flame.”
“What?”
“That’s what I thought, but her memories are perfectly intact. The first thing she asked me when I walked in my room was ‘where’s Arle?’ which immediately told me something was off.”
“So she remembers me still?”
“She does. And after further questioning, it seems as if most of her memories remain untouched. She does seem to forget how she got into this situation, but aside from that everything seems untouched.”
“I’m going to have to have a word with Dottore about this…” Arlecchino mumbled. She stepped towards the door and placed her hand on the knob before stopping herself and taking a breath. “Is it okay if I see her?”
“I don’t see why not, Father,” he said, “We had a regiment set up for reintroducing you to her assuming that she would lose her memories, but since she seems fine, it would be good for her to see you again.”
“Very well. And thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Father.”
Arlecchino twisted the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. Furina, who was in hospital garb, was sat up in her bed looking out the large window beside her. Orange sunlight filtered through the glass and thin curtains and onto her face, revealing how pale she had become since the last time Arlecchino had seen her. She seemingly didn’t hear Arlecchino enter, since she did not look away from the window.
“Fufu?” Arlecchino said softly as she closed the door behind her. Furina instantly ripped her gaze from the golden sunlight and towards the door, and her eyes lit up as soon as she saw Arlecchino.
“Arle…” Furina said. She looked as if she wanted to launch out of the bed and throw herself into Arlecchino’s arms, but she clearly could not. Every inch of her skin still hurt, and so she tried to minimize moving as much as she could as per the doctors’ recommendations.
“How are you feeling?”
“Everything burns, it feels like every inch of my body has a rash. What happened to me?”
“We tried something to help you forget your past since you wanted to try and forget. Do you remember the nightmares?”
“I think so,” Furina said. She retreated into her mind for a few moments, and slowly she uncovered memories of waking up beside Arlecchino, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, although she barely could recall what any of the nightmares were about.
“The substance we administered you didn’t work as we expected.”
“Was it the bottled flames?”
“It was. We don’t know why it didn’t work, so we’re going to keep you here in hospice while you recover and to make sure nothing else is wrong with you.”
“Okay,” Furina said. She didn’t know what else there was to add.
“How are you feeling right now?”
“Hm? Oh, uh I’m feeling fine I guess. Everything hurts and there’s a bit of brain fog but otherwise I feel okay.”
“A bit of brain fog?”
“Thinking is pretty hard right now. Words are hard both to say and understand. It takes me a few seconds to recognize things when I see them. I’m just working really sluggish right now.”
“Did you tell the doctors that?”
“The doctors?” Furina said, again retreating into her mind. “Oh, yeah. I don’t think I did, although I think they could definitely tell.”
“You need to tell them these things.”
“I will. I’m still figuring out how I’m feeling, so I might skip over some things.”
“Very well,” Arlecchino said, taking a stand from her chair. “I have matters to attend to at work, so I will be out most of the day.”
“Have a good day at work, then,” Furina said solemnly.
“Can I kiss you?”
“I think that would hurt too much.”
“Well remind me to kiss you extra whenever it doesn’t hurt.” Arlecchino began to take her leave, and Furina watched her take each and every step, silently wishing that she would never leave and that she would stay right there until her skin stopped burning and she could hug her. She wasn’t quite sure why she wanted to hold onto her so dearly, but she felt the urge to launch out of her bed and disobey her red-hot skin and hold onto her with all the strength she had.
Arlecchino closed the door behind her, and Furina’s room returned to a state of terrifying silence. Her eyes instantly felt heavier than usual, and her brain fog became denser. She heard chatter from outside her door in that husky voice that she loved.
“Keep an eye on her throughout the day. She’s complaining of burning skin and a brain fog and a hard time recognizing and processing speech. She also sounded like she barely remembered talking to you guys this morning, so screen for any memory impairments or brain damage. She just sounded generally confused about some things.”
“Will do, Father.” Arlecchino strode down the hall as if nothing had just happened. She was terrified, of course, about what she had just done to her love. But fear was not something she could show at any point in time else she would be seen as incompetent or fragile. She feared for Furina’s health and the possibility of further decline considering they were in untreaded waters with how the Flames reacted to Furina’s body. So many thoughts and fears tormented her head, and she contained them all as she strode down the ornately decorated halls of the House of Hearth.
The doctor entered Furina’s room after Arlecchino disappeared from sight. He saw her exactly as Arlecchino had seen her: staring at the golden light streaming in through the window. She did not make any acknowledgement of his entrance.
“Miss Furina,” the doctor said, closing the door behind him, “How are you feeling?”
“Am I going to be alright?” Furina asked.
“Come again?”
“Is everything going to be alright? It sounded like Arlecchino was concerned about my health. So will I be alright?”
“You know how much Father loves you, Miss Furina, so of course she’s concerned for your health—maybe a little more than she needs to be. We will just have to keep an eye on your health to make sure you’ll be fine, but I’m sure you’ll be okay.”
“I’m just scared.”
“Why is that?”
“I just don’t feel… right. I guess”
“What do you mean you don’t ‘feel right?’”
“Everything just makes less sense to my brain. And it takes more conscious effort to do things. I feel more confused than anything right now. Or I guess uneasy is a word too.”
“Uneasy as in something feels off but you can’t quite figure out what?”
“Exactly.” The doctor noted something down on his clipboard.
“Well, my guess is that’s just a reaction from the bottled flames. Give it a few days of good sleep, some activity, and food and water and you’ll be fine.”
“Okay… Thank you, doc.”
“You’re very welcome, Miss Furina. Anything else you need?”
“Just some water would be nice.”
“There’s some right there next to your bed,” the doctor said. He pointed at the bedside table, which did indeed have a pitcher of water next to a glass. Furina wasn’t sure how she had missed it there. She had been parched ever since she woke up.
“Oh, thank you,” Furina said.
“Well, if that’s all you need, then I will be off. If you need anything, there are some nurses stationed outside of your door, so just holler and they’ll hear.”
Furina didn’t want to say “thank you” again, so she just turned her head painfully back to the window with golden sunlight streaming into the room. Enough of the day had passed now to where the golden beams of light shone directly onto her legs underneath the white sheets, and it made her legs feel hot. She was beginning to sweat underneath that heavy blanket into the hospital garb she wore. She would have found it violently uncomfortable had her entire body not felt like it had been burned, so the moisture which would normally make her feel queasy and dizzy and nervous instead felt good against her skin. The doctor cleared his throat awkwardly and let himself out of the room, leaving Furina to herself again.
Her throat screamed at her for some water. She continued to look through the window down at the freshly-mowed lawn which still had clumps of wet grass clippings atop it which would surely kill the grass underneath if they didn’t do anything about it soon and she wondered when that nice man would bring her some water to drink.