Chapter Text
Harry watched as Father unpacked his trunk, checked to make sure each item was authorized by the school, and repacked it for the umpteenth time.
“Would it help if I slip something in there that I’m not allowed to have so you actually find something next time?” The eleven-year-old wizard asked from where he was sitting cross-legged on his bed and watching this unfold.
“Watch your cheek, Harry,” Father said but in a distracted, almost idle tone as he scanned his handiwork.
Mum was sitting at his desk, quill scratching against a sheet of parchment, writing a letter for one of the items that was allowed but required a written explanation of its necessity. A brown, rectangular box sat on the desk next to her that Harry knew contained his dad’s two-way mirror. She held it out to Father, “Think this will do it, Sev?”
He read it through and nodded, “It should be fine. The most important thing is to just be mindful of what you two are talking about. Even if you are in your dorm room, you should mind your words like you are talking in public.”
He handed the letter back to her and she folded it inside an envelope that she attached to the box. Harry couldn’t help but pout a bit, “You know, I don’t think it’s fair you guys are trying to scare me before my first day at Hogwarts. I’m nervous enough, you know.”
“We’re not trying to scare you, love,” Mum said. “We just want you to be careful.”
Father raised his eyebrows as though he thought it wouldn’t hurt for Harry to be a little scared but at least finally closed and latched the trunk. He said, “In the spirit of that, what do you say we go through what you should keep in mind?”
Harry sighed, swinging his legs off the side of the bed to sit up properly. He ticked them off with his fingers, “Don’t talk about private conversations I hear at home, don’t argue about any of the curriculum if it’s different from what I’ve read or been taught, don’t talk about Dad or Mum’s old family, don’t talk about muggle books or music or anything.”
Father nodded his approval and added, “And if your classmates start talking about one family or another, it is best not to engage with them at that time. You do not always need to share an opinion on every topic.”
“Okay.”
“We know it’s a lot to ask,” Mum came over and sat next to him on the bed. “I’m sorry, I wish it was easier.”
She looked sad and her smile was inexplicably apologetic. He felt a little guilty for complaining so much tonight, clearly enough to make her feel bad. Harry shrugged, “It’s okay. I just wish you wouldn’t worry so much. I know all this stuff. I’m not an idiot.”
“It has nothing to do with intelligence,” Father said a bit sharply. “It would be quite natural to be inclined to speak as freely as you do at home. No matter how understandable the impulse, however, it can’t happen.”
Harry huffed but said, “It’s not going to.”
He noticed Father beginning to eye his trunk with dissatisfaction again and hurriedly said, “Can I go to bed early? I mean, the sooner I fall asleep, the sooner it’s tomorrow. And we covered everything, right?”
Harry pulled back his covers and made a show of clamoring into bed and pulling them over himself. His mum smiled and brushed his hair back which fell right back into place. She kissed the top of his head and gently removed his glasses. “Not a bad idea, love. Tomorrow will be a busy day and we’re leaving early. We love you. Good night, Harry.”
“Love you too. Good night.” Harry replied, a bit surprised how tired he actually was.
=//=
"Well, I hope we didn't completely suck the joy out of going to school for him," Lily said as she slipped under the blankets on her side of the large bed.
Severus frowned as he scanned the bookshelf in their room for something to read in bed that would help him suffer through his inevitable insomnia, "The most important thing is that he is safe and understands the significance of the precautions he must take. I am sure he will still be excited when he sees the train and the castle and all that grand fare."
"You think he'll be okay though? I know there will always be dangers for us but things are stable at the school now from what I hear."
"They are much better than they were right after the war. People were craving stability after everything that happened. Making sure Hogwarts was functional and safe went a long way towards cementing loyalty during the new peace time. Harry should be safe as long as he follows the rules - and we follow the rules - but he will be watched." Severus spoke dispassionately which Lily had come to identify as his default when he was distancing himself from his feelings.
"I'm glad that Slughorn is still there. I mean, he's completely spineless, don't get me wrong, but he always treated everyone okay."
"Yes, well, that sounds like an incredibly dangerous person to me."
"Maybe on a personal level," Lily huffs, thinking of a certain rat now serving a comfortable position in the ministry, "But they're character traits I'd prefer to an outright penchant for cruelty in my son's teacher."
She feels her cheeks and temper heating up but she doesn't really want to fight with Severus right now. Would it kill the man to placate her once in a while? She knew for him it was a matter of respect to be direct and honest about the dangers of their world with her, especially considering her relative lack of exposure to it, but maybe for a couple hours a week at her most stressed she wouldn't mind being shielded from reality.
Lily tried to lighten the mood, "Maybe you should ask to be reassigned, Sev. Ask if you can get a teaching assignment at Hogwarts so you can keep an eye on Harry while he's away from home."
Severus has returned to bed with a book in hand and said, "You have lost it."
"You don't want to teach the future generation to be the best little potioneers possible?"
"Lily, truly, I would die to protect you and Harry. But there is no scenario where I would spend nine months of the year trying to drag a school full of children through the magical learning process. Imagine the psychic damage on both sides."
She grinned at her friend but then quickly sobered as she thought again of tomorrow, "I suppose it's too late to attempt to flee the country?"
"In the next eight hours? Almost certainly."
It'd been a rhetorical question anyway. Despite the position of much of the wizarding world that the rise of the Dark Lord was Britain's isolated problem, terror and confusion at the hands of his followers was expanding with alarming speed throughout Europe. Plus, movement was restricted, particularly for people like her.
More earnestly, she said, "Maybe we should revisit the idea of inscribing your protective wards on Harry."
Her hand drifted instinctively to her forearm where she knew under her pajama sleeve several thick bands of runes glowed in a blue white light, each rotating independently on the surface of her skin. Severus rubbed irritably at his own arm where she knew identical symbols moved in tandem with her own. Above those were two stationary bands that did not glow, and were in fact little more than silvery scars, testaments to the two times the wards had effectively provided protection.
"We could. Should we start with what happens if he gets in a fight with another student and the ward perceives that as him being attacked?"
She glared at him, "He's a good boy. He's not going to be getting into fights."
"He is a good boy. He also has a temper, and it is hardly unheard of for children to get into scuffles at Hogwarts. Even if there is a chance of it happening, we should consider the repercussions of that power in the ward backlashing on a child."
She remembered the first time one of them had been activated. Bellatrix Lestrange had been in a coma for three days, and it had taken an additional two days to completely undo the paralysis. Narcissa had been convinced that her sister had been killed, and Lucius had been admonishing but slightly amused, making an ugly comment about how Bellatrix had never taken to heart Severus’s warnings to “keep her hands off his belongings.” No one had particularly shared the man's amusement including Severus who had arrived just seconds after feeling the ward trigger and had been thoroughly unapologetic.
"Additionally, I am not sure if it would be safe for Harry himself to act as a conduit for my magic in the event that the ward did get triggered. You were close to magical exhaustion yourself, both times, as a full-grown and fully trained witch," Severus continued. "Not to mention - I know it's been nine years now - but you must remember how much receiving the ward hurts? Do you have the heart and stomach to inflict that on him?"
There is a rare hint of resentment in his voice, and she understands the real crux of the issue then. She did remember how shockingly painful the spell had been; expecting to look down and see her arm mangled in blood or burns based on the sensation rather than glowing with protective runes. Severus had struggled to maintain his focus to finish the spell through his own pain and with Lily instinctively trying to yank her arm away despite her best efforts to stay still. Would Lily be able to subject her eleven-year-old child to that? Maybe, she had to admit, if there was a guarantee that it could save his life. Severus was right that there were too many risks, however, and she felt guilty for so blithely talking over the possibility when ultimately it was Severus who had to cast the spell and answer for its results.
"No, and I suppose you wouldn't either," she says it softly, hoping her tone would convey her contrition and approval. Instead. Severus all but jumped up from where he had been sitting with his back against the headboard.
"I assure you that I can do whatever is necessary to protect the two of you," his voice was like ice. Lily huffed, a near hiss in her frustration, as she watched her husband retrieve his clothes from the day. "I am going to go check the property wards. Go to sleep."
She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. The wards were fine. The power of them made the very air on the property salient with magic. Lily suspected if Muggle devices weren't outlawed that they wouldn't work here anyway for similar reasons that they didn't at Hogwarts. For a moment, she thought about snidely warning him that if he added anymore wards to the property, the magic might very well collapse in on itself and kill them all anyway. Instead, she just let him leave, knowing this was his way of feeling like he was actively doing something to keep them safe rather than just giving into a spiral of anxiety he could scarcely afford. Merlin forbid he just talk to her about it.
James had never had trouble with that. The man had spoken openly to her and their friends about his feelings and anxieties during the war. It was one of the things that had surprised her after she had gotten to know them. The amount of emotional intimacy of the boys, and then how they had folded her into it so easily had been a thing of wonder. Of course, both James and Severus were the type of people who always had to be doing something when faced with danger to their family, she thought bitterly but not without gratitude. As expected, unwelcome waves of grief began to consume her, and she indulged herself in a much-needed cry.