Chapter Text
Steve was not excited about being woken up by a barrage of texts from The Party and even less thrilled when he saw that it was a Code Red. The gist he could gather, while getting dressed and grabbing his bat from underneath his bed, was someone spotted what looked like a gate coming out of Skull Rock and heard voices on the other side.
All the kids were in school and for once couldn’t skip to investigate because of a special SAT prep class, Robin and Nancy were both away settling into their respective colleges in Boston, Jonathan and Argyle doing the same with Joyce and Hopper’s help in California so that left Steve and Eddie.
They had become almost friends in the time since Vecna…they rarely hung out without at least one other Party member present but Steve was glad to be heading out to face this problem with someone who was old enough to drive.
That being said, he still swung by the trailer park to pick up Eddie to avoid having to lose what was left of his hearing to the blaring of metal. Eddie was sitting outside on the stoop - one leg bouncing nervously and he was fiddling with his hair until he waved awkwardly at Steve and climbed into the car.
“Once more unto the breach, eh Harrington?” he scoffed as he put on his seatbelt after a pointed glare from Steve. They’d had this fight many times already. “For all our sakes we’d better hope it was just someone eating the wrong kind of shrooms,” he said with a sigh as he drove as close to the woods as they could before they’d have to leave the car behind and walk.
After parking the beemer somewhere safe, he grabbed the bag that had his bat in it. The dangerous end was hidden from prying eyes, and he also had a first aid kit and flashlight with extra batteries.
As they headed towards Skull Rock he noticed Eddie brought nothing that he didn’t already have on him most days - a pack of Camels, a lighter, a swiss army knife he rarely used for anything but the bottle opener tab, and “a D20? Seriously? What are you gonna do - ask the monster to roll for initiative?”
“It helps me to have something to distract myself with - we’re not all natural born heroes Stevie, forgive me if I’m a little unenthused about potentially facing down demons again,” Eddie said as his deft fingers fiddled with the tiny piece of plastic while they trudged forward.
“Also don’t think we won’t be revisiting you getting a D&D reference right later when I’m not about to shit my pants from fear. I knew all my rants were going to sink in through that hair one day.” Steve blushed, hoping the redness on his cheeks could be excused away by the exertion of hiking in the woods, and just pushed on ahead towards their destination. “In your dreams Munson.”
Before they could see the glowing purple and black swirls coming from the rock they could hear the voices and both fell silent as they got closer. “I can’t believe you used that same idiotic line that almost made me cut your hand off when we first met - no wonder they ran off.” “You do understand dearest that no one’s normal, natural response to that is to sever the person's hand - right? It’s important to me that you know that.”
“Would that I had and maybe I’d be trapped here with a more skilled wizard now - even with two hands your somatic skills are clearly rusty.” “You know who would never treat me like this?” “Don’t say Mystra darling, we both know that’s a lie.” “I was going to say Tara of course…why do you always have to bring up Mystra?” “I always bring her up? That’s rich coming from you.”
Eddie and Steve stared at each other for a beat before finally Steve shrugged and cleared his throat. “Ummm…hello? Do you need help?” Eddie mouthed ‘do you need help?’ back at him with an exasperated look to which he shrugged again. Clearly it wasn’t demons they were dealing with so…
“Oh why yes! Hello there - don’t suppose you could give us a little tug? It seems that once again my companions' ability to judge ground from solid rock has gone awry and we can’t seem to get out.” A pale, elegant hand emerged from the spiral - adorned with fine jewelry and while the sharpness of the nails were a little off-putting it looked human enough.
Steve set his bag down and despite Eddie’s attempts to dissuade him, took hold of it with both of his hands and pulled as hard as he dared, not wanting to injure the other mysterious person. More and more of the figure began to emerge - an arm in ornate black and purple leather, a shoulder, but Steve needed more help to get them out.
He looked at Eddie who just sighed before he reached over and began to tug as well until they were both knocked to the ground by the weight of two other men who were propelled out of the rock. When he looked up, the man over him was stunning - if a little odd looking…by Indiana standards anyway. Stark white hair of a much older man but otherwise he looked young, he had pointy ears and a dangerous looking grin broke out across what was otherwise a very beautiful face.
“Oh! To think we’d be rescued by such a handsome young lord. Perhaps it’s time I invested in a new companion.” He quickly sprang to his feet then extended a hand to Steve to help him stand, brushing dirt and leaves off his chest, then back as he spun Steve around to examine him like prey.
“You’re not funny now and you never have been.” The other man also rose and offered Eddie his hand before turning to examine his associate for any injuries. Steve noticed he looked a little strange too - while his face and hair color were normal enough, he wore long embroidered purple robes and tall leather boots. Neither one seemed like they were intending to be in Hawkins.
Eddie looked even more confused, touching his own ears while staring at the pale man, then looking at Steve and mouthing ‘what the FUCK dude?’ “My name’s Astarion, and this useless pillock is Gale of Waterdeep. Now, if you gentlemen would be so kind, can you please tell me the quickest way to get to Baldur’s Gate from here? We’re going to be dreadfully late for a soiree.”
A bark of laughter came out of Eddie at that. “Oh yeah just take a left at the Shire and the second right after Narnia and you’ll be right there. Is there a new ren faire or LARP in town I don’t know about? You guys' costumes are cool but how did you get inside Skull Rock? I don’t get it…”
He walked over to the landmark and now it was just…a rock again. No openings, no hidden path, completely solid despite expelling two grown men 30 seconds ago. “Shire? Narnia? Where in the hells have you brought us this time? I told you no more portals after having spicy food but did you listen? Nooo,” Astarion said, emphasizing his point with a light tap to Gale's chest.
“Leave Karlach’s red pepper rothe ribs out of this - surely this is just a simple curse, probably from one of the many magical items you’ve pilfered without letting anyone examine them first. I just need to cast remove curse and…wait…” Gale looked at his hands then back at Astarion in fear. “I’m completely cut off from the Weave. Wherever we are - there’s no magic here, or if there is it’s not something I can use.”
Steve slid over towards Eddie who was still poking the rock in confusion. “Sooo…definitely not demons but they seem a little lost to say the least. What do we do? Eddie leveled him with a withering stare. “Steve, they're older than we are - they probably have like 401Ks and shit…I don’t even know what a 401K is. I think we can just go and let them figure it out on their own, right?”
“I don’t know what a 401K is either but these dudes definitely do not look like they’ll be okay on their own.” Gale looked like he was on the verge of tears as he stared down at his useless hands, while Astarion looked even more frustrated than before…somehow. He quickly schooled his expression when he noticed Steve and Eddie staring their way though.
“Hello…so sorry to bother you again but do you happen to know any clerics or mages who might be able to help us? My companion is having difficulties using his magic and I’d really like to be home now, no offense to your,” he looked around the forest with a slight sneer, “quaint little area of the world.”
Eddie approached them and held up both his hands on either side of Astarions face, “may I?” The man shrugged, unsure of what was about to happen and nothing could have prepared any of them for Eddie grasping his ears and trying to pull them off.
Steve quickly pulled him back apologizing, Astarion swore and rubbed at the sore appendages while Gale raised his hands as if to attack only to remember they were devoid of magic.
“What in the sweet hells was that? Is it customary to attack the ear lobes of all guests in this place?” Astarion screeched. “I’m inclined to agree,” Steve said, “what is going on?”
“Those are real…his ears, they’re not fake like the ones I get on Amazon. They’re not even good fakes like the really expensive ones. They have veins, nerve endings…he’s an elf,” Eddie said, still staring at Astarion like he’d seen a ghost.
Steve sighed and rubbed his temples where a headache was now officially brewing, “Okay is this some prank between you and the kids? Did you get some buddies from out of town to help? Because I’m not watching those Rings movies you can forget it man. They’re 97 hours long - I can’t take it.”
“Sorry to interrupt your little domestic but I’ve never met this man before. Certainly never met you, I’d remember,” Astarion said to Steve with a wink. “I also find pranks rather churlish so, truly, if you can just point us towards a cleric we’ll happily leave you two to sort this out.”
“We’re not together,” Eddie scoffed, pulling his hair in front of his mouth. “Really? That’s the part that concerns you? Not the part where he just said they're really elves and wizards? From another world?” Steve shot back, his face hot.
“Come on Steve you know no one would be more thrilled than me to learn that somewhere in the universe is a place where people wouldn’t think I’m a freak but this is clearly a LARP gone awry, a hallucinogenic trip, or some really really weird sex thing but there’s no way they’re from another world.”
Gale cleared his throat, “if I may interject? If magic is really unknown to you - what did you surmise the portal to be when you freed us? Surely the average person wouldn’t have interacted with it in a realm without magic.”
Steve and Eddie looked at each other then before he muttered, “I guess NDAs don’t matter for people not from this universe. Ummm…I don't know if you’d call it magic but weird stuff kinda happens here sometimes. This isn’t actually our first rodeo with other dimensions. But the one we normally deal with is still like here it’s just uhhh…”
“It’s a mirror dimension. A dark mirror dimension,” Eddie said, his eyes haunted. “Everything there is the antithesis of here - twisted and evil. Demonic.” “Sounds like a lovely place to summer and all but I promise we’re not from there…” Astarion said with a smirk.
“So without magic…how can we get home?” Gale said, visibly pale. Steve and Eddie locked eyes and nodded, “Eleven.” Knowing they’d need to wait til the kids were out of school they decided to focus on the two most important tasks they could in the meantime: research possible cures in this world for whatever was wrong, and help the two blend in…as well as they could.
Astarions eyes roved over them both and he pointed at Eddie, “your fashion, while childish, is more in keeping with mine I think. No offense darling, you cut a dashing figure.” Steve blushed and kept his head down as they made their way to the car.
“Actually Gale might need to borrow trousers from you, Steven - wasn’t it? He’s well…blessed in the rear similarly to yourself,” Astarion said, admiring the view of Steve walking in front of them. “I’ve figured it out, we really are in the hells aren’t we? I’m being punished once more,” Gale lamented at the sky.
“Now don’t be so rude in front of our new friends. You know I’m quite fond of your plump little rump,” Astarion teased, his teeth clicking as he rolled the r. Gale scowled but did drift closer as the walked, letting their hands join as silence overtook the group - each lost in their own thoughts as the made their way through the forest.