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“What do you have there, Dazai-san?” Atsushi asked. They were sitting in the office of the Armed Detective Agency.
Dazai smirked. “Oh this? A book I’ve been searching for since I first heard about it. I plan on taking a look at it later.”
“Oh? What is it about?”
“Magic.”
“Magic?”
“Yeah… Why, is that weird?” Dazai raised a brow.
“Oh… no… just unexpected. I didn’t think you’d be into something like that.”
“Oh Atsushi, I’m full of surprises.” He pulled out his fake, glass eye to make a point.
“Can’t argue with that, I suppose.”
“Hey Atsushi, how about I tell you about it when I’m done?”
“Sure.” Atsushi nodded.
“Hey, you two slackers! Get back to work.” Kunikida growled.
“Ah, you’re no fun, Kunikida.” Dazai sighed and Atsushi giggled.
Later that night, Dazai was home from work and was laying on his belly on his futon.
“Now then, how do I go about this?”
He opened the book and picked up his pen with a sigh. Sometimes he missed the inconvenience of using a quill and ink…
“On that day, what Dazai and Blaise poured into the potion wasn’t foxglove, just left over sparkles from the twin’s experiment. Dazai doesn’t notice while it’s being poured in.” Dazai said out loud as he wrote. Writing in the book reminded him of when he used to write to Tom Riddle. He chuckled to himself at the thought.
“Oh one more thing.” He said as he took the pen to the paper again. “Dazai gets a letter that says ‘Dear Dazai from the past. This is your future self writing this. I am the one who prevented Poppy and the other victims from dying. You’ll notice that there are people wanting to help you- let them. You have a chance to experience true happiness in life, so take that opportunity! Don’t worry about Mori. I’ll handle it from here.’”
Dazai took the final sip of his whiskey and kicked his legs behind him. “Mori decides he no longer needs Dazai, and he couldn’t care less what happens to him that same day.” He wrote. He sighed, closed the book, and rolled over. He stared at the ceiling as the silence buzzed in his ears.
‘I wonder what my life could’ve been if I’d let them help me back then. I wonder if I finally would’ve found happiness.’
-
Blaise turned his and Dazai’s hands together and tipped the ‘foxglove’ into the potion. He looked Blaise in the eyes as it dissolved into the potion.
‘Wait a minute? Why do I feel like I’m having déjà vu…?’ He thought to himself.
“Together.” Blaise snapped Dazai out of his thoughts. Their hands were still intertwined and Dazai felt his chest burn with an emotion that he couldn’t name.
“Together.” Dazai squeezed his hand. A part of him started to feel nervous. He didn’t know why, but something seemed off.
-
The Hell’s Hounds were having a party in their office. It was a fun time, bantering back and forth, playing with their pets and balloons, and genuinely having a good time. (Well except for Pansy, Dazai was sure she’d stay pissed at him for a while after today.)
*Knock-knock-knock*
The hounds startled at the sound but Dazai reassured them with a raised hand. “Ginny.” He nodded.
He made his way over to the door and opened it. Ginny stood happily on the other side of it.
“Hey Dazai, I was asked to give you this letter.” She stepped into the room and handed him a piece of paper folded into an envelope. He let the door fall closed next to them.
“Who is it from?” He frowned as he inspected it. This wasn’t Mori’s usual letter…
“I’m not sure but Professor Snape has been looking for you everywhere. He wanted to tell you the good news- the petrification victims have awoken!” She cheered.
Dazai felt his heart drop. Two feelings washed over him at once- he felt dread and relief at the same time. The conflicting feelings caused him to go numb. He turned to Blaise who returned his slightly shocked expression. To the others, it seemed like just an ordinary, happy expression.
“That’s great!” Hermione cheered. She walked over to Ginny and patted her shoulder.
“Yeah! But you should really go talk to Professor Snape now, Dazai. He seems to be growing impatient.” Ginny walked further into the room and greeted her siblings.
‘I don’t know where you kids are always running off to…’ Snape had growled. ‘Please find Mr. Dazai and give him this letter. Have him come find me as soon as possible.’
“I’ll walk you.” Blaise walked over to Dazai’s side.
“Ok, we will be back in a bit.” Dazai flashed a fake grin before walking out the door with Blaise, closing it behind them. The hallway was empty.
“What happened?” Blaise gasped. “I thought… I thought they’d…”
“I’m not sure.” Dazai eyed the letter suspiciously. He opened it up and started reading.
“‘Dear Dazai from the past. This is your future self writing this.” He read out loud for Blaise to hear. They both looked at each other, confused.
“Your future self? How?” Blaise asked. Dazai shrugged but kept reading.
“I am the one who prevented Poppy and the other victims from dying.” Dazai raised a brow.
“So the you from the future prevented you from poisoning them? This has got to be a prank.”
“But if it were a prank, then wouldn’t we have succeeded?” Dazai asked. Blaise shrugged.
“You’ll notice that there are people wanting to help you… let them?” Dazai mimicked a look of disgust. “You have a chance to experience true happiness in life, so take that opportunity! Don’t worry about Mori. I’ll handle it from here.”
“Handle it how?”
“I don’t know. That’s where the letter ended.”
“So what now?” Blaise asked.
“We investigate. We will need to find Snape and then we will have to confront Pomfrey. Let’s just hope she hasn’t blabbed.”
Blaise didn’t know what that last part meant, but he trusted Dazai. “I’ll lead the way, boss.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Dazai used wandless magic to burn away the letter. Blaise led him down to the infirmary where Snape was sitting at Pomfrey’s bedside. She was smiling and chatting and Snape had tears in his eyes.
“Oh, Mr. Dazai!” Snape promptly stood up. “The petrification victims have finally awoken!”
“That’s… great…” Dazai looked Pomfrey in the eye but she quickly looked away. She looked… nervous.
“Did you get that letter?” Snape asked.
“Oh, yeah I did.”
“Who was it from?”
“I’m not sure. I think someone was trying to pull a prank on me.”
Snape sighed with disgust “of course.” He pinched his brow.
“Umm, if I may…” Pomfrey spoke up which caused Dazai to stiffen defensively. All eyes were on her. “I would like to speak to Mr. Dazai alone, please.”
Snape gave Pomfrey a questioning look as Blaise did the same to Dazai.
“Sure. I’ll see you two in a bit.” Dazai smiled.
They both slowly made their exit. Pomfrey and Dazai were the only ones left in the room. He supposed the other petrification victims had been released already. He took a seat in the chair Snape had been sitting in and waited for the dreaded conversation. This is it… he was going to be expelled or worse…
She gestured for him to give her his arm. When he hesitated, she spoke up. “Your arm.” She gestured again. He sighed and reluctantly put his arm in her outstretched hand.
She unraveled the bandages with careful hands while he winced. His eye fell closed instinctively.
“Looks like it’s healed up just fine.” She nodded. She brought a hand to his cheek which caused him to flinch. “And your color has returned, that’s good.”
He opened his eye and tilted his head enough to keep his arm out of view. At his questioning gaze, she retracted her hand and elaborated. “You were so pale that night, you looked sickly.” She looked him in the eye.
Silence put them on edge for what seemed like forever (it was only several seconds).
“Dazai, I submitted the papers to take Mori to court. I’d like to adopt you.” She came right out with it.
“Why? After everything I’ve done to you, why would you do something like that?”
“Because I know that deep down in your heart, you’re a good person.” She stated like it was common knowledge.
‘But I tried to kill you…’ he thought with a wince. “I’m not a good person, Madam. I’ve done bad things. Things that I can never take back. Those things are part of my job as a mafioso.” He wanted her to second guess her decision.
“Dazai, I asked you to trust me before, remember-?”
“I’ve killed people!” Dazai shot to his feet. Fake anger melted off of him.
‘I don’t understand! Why is she being like this, for something like me?!’ He thought.
The letter popped back into his head in that moment.
‘You’ll notice that there are people wanting to help you- let them.’
“Mr. Dazai, you’re a victim in all of this.” She looked at his bandaged eye to make a point. “You were raised by scary people. They were wrong in their methods. Please allow me to finish raising you, together with Severus. We just want you to be happy and healthy.”
“…Snape too?”
“Yes. He was very adamant about it. He volunteered to send in the paperwork before I even had the chance to.” She chuckled.
‘You have a chance to experience true happiness in life, so take that opportunity!’
Dazai swallowed hard. His hands were shaking. No… he was loyal to the mafia. Surely he couldn’t…
‘Don’t worry about Mori. I’ll handle it from here.’
Does he put his trust in this random letter? It doesn’t even seem possible. Mori’s interest in him goes much deeper than anyone would normally think.
At Dazai’s silence, Pomfrey spoke up again. “That special ability you mentioned…”
There it was. The dreaded conversation. She’s going to tell everyone now, isn’t she?
“It has something to do with canceling out magic, right? Well your secret is safe with me.” She reassured.
“Why should I trust you?” He muttered, conflicted.
“Because I don’t spill a patient’s medical secrets with other people without their consent. I’m a doctor, remember?” She smirked.
Dazai felt the corner of his lips curl up naturally. It was a very slight smile, but poppy still noticed.
“Why are you helping me?” He asked.
“Because I care about you, Mr. Dazai.”
He watched her for a moment before sighing.
“So, what’s your plan?”
“My plan?”
“For adopting me. How do you think you’ll manage to defeat Mori of all people? You’re outmatched. Might as well give up while you still can.”
That being said, if Mori found out that Dazai had failed in his plan to eliminate her…
Pomfrey opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, there was a knock on the door. Snape didn’t wait for permission, and stepped into the room.
“Poppy, sorry to interrupt, but I think this is a good time to bring this up.” Snape held up papers in his hand.
“Sure Severus. What is it?”
“Dazai’s adoption has been approved.” He smiled.
“What? How?” Dazai gasped. He noted the slip of his mask with a frown and quickly changed the expression on his face to a more empty one.
“They reached out to Mori and he gave up custody with ease.” He gave dazai yet another letter.
Dazai hesitated before opening it. The letter read:
‘My dearest Dazai,
I just found out about your failed job! What a bummer! With that, I found myself a shiny new toy within the mafia, so your services are no longer needed.
In conclusion, I decided to kick you out of the mafia. Because you’ve stuck around to play with me for so long, I’ve decided to release you into the wild on your own. If you show back up to the mafia headquarters, however, I’ll have no choice but to silence you myself.
Love always, Mori.’
Dazai looked over the letter for any indication of a falsified letter. The paper was the same, the stamp was the same, the handwriting was the same, the hearts over the i’s were the same, and finally, his signature was the exact same.
‘Don’t worry about Mori. I’ll handle it from here.’
Dazai’s shaking body burst with laughter.
The scene caused Poppy and Severus both to startle.
Dazai was loudly cackling, shaking, and holding his stomach.
What was this feeling… is this what ‘freedom’ feels like?
The feeling he thought he’d get only when he died, because surely something like him didn’t experience freedom before death…
After a minute of roaring laughter, he finally started tapering off with small giggles, and puffs of air. He wiped something from his eye and the sound coming from him finally died out.
“I should’ve known. Always replaceable.” He sighed with a big grin. “Well, with this, I guess I am finally free.” He looked up at Snape and Pomfrey and they shared a look with each other. “Or maybe not.” He pointed to the adoption papers and chuckled.
Snape scoffed offendedly and Poppy smiled.
They both arranged a custody agreement between the two of them- Snape would have Dazai during the weekdays and every other weekend, and Poppy would take Dazai on the other weekends as well as visiting throughout the week whenever she could. Even though it was the summer between school years, Poppy would be busy healing people during her summer job.
“I’m so happy for you, Dazai.” Hermione smiled the next day.
“Yeah, I can’t believe you were in the… you know…” Ron whispered.
“Who knew our little Snakey wakey was so…”
“Fierce.” The twins giggled. They mimed a fearsome monster and Dazai swatted them off with a sarcastic wave.
“I’m glad.” Blaise smiled. Dazai nodded, happily.
Draco had a nervous look on his face.
“What’s wrong, Draco?” Dazai asked.
“Oh… it’s just, going home... I don’t know what father is going to think about everything…”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine! Tell him to visit me if he has any concerns.” Dazai pointed to himself, self assured.
Pansy scoffed and put her hands on her hips. “Mark my words Dazai, I will not be allowing Draco to see you this summer until things die down with his father.”
“Yeah yeah…” Dazai rolled his eyes.
The Hogwarts train whistled and they all knew it was time to go.
“I’ll see you all next school year.” Dazai waved. Hermione, Ron, the twins, Draco, Blaise, Luna, and Ginny all waved goodbye while Pansy quickly made her way onto the train after Draco.
Dazai had good friends. The night Poppy woke up, he told his friends about how he grew up in the mafia. He told them not to ask questions and that he’d open up when he felt like it.
“Ready to go?” Snape asked.
“Yep.” Dazai followed after Snape. “By the way.” Dazai started.
“Yes?”
“Did you know that I have a special ability?” Dazai chuckled, menacingly. Snape startled. Dazai told him all about it and Snape sighed.
“So you ARE the one who took the philosopher's stone after all… what a pain.” He pinched his brow.
“Yep. Boss’s orders. I couldn’t disobey Mori or else… well…” Dazai paused.
“No need to explain further. Feel free to speak to me when you’re comfortable enough to. For now, we have somewhere to be.”
“Oh? Where?”
“We have a press conference to attend about professor Quirrell. We will not go into any specifics about the basilisk or petrifications, so don’t talk about those events.”
“Got it, sir.”
The school year had ended and after their quick press conference, Snape and Dazai set out to Dazai’s new home.
(Continued in my fic titled “A New Life.”)